Well, good evening. Thanks so much for coming.
We're in the second of our Real Asianships series.
Last week we looked at friendship. That was a struggle.
This week we're looking at singleness.
And that eclipsed last week's difficulty.
Writing a biblical talk on friendship paled was easy compared to putting this together.
I hope it's helpful to all of us.
That's been my prayer. I've redrafted this talk five times.
And the first three went in the bin and started again.
So I hope that it's been refined rather than diluted as it's gone through its many iterations.
Singleness is a tricky subject to write on for a great number of reasons.
I read about seven books this week on the Christian view of singleness.
I would say six of them were basically dating advice for single people clothed in Christian language.
It's hard to write on because single status encapsulates a wide variety of people.
Those that have never been married, those that are divorced, and those that are widowed are all at present single.
It also encapsulates a wide range of ages.
I'm sure there are different struggles if you're single at 20 than if you're single at 70.
I also think there's a difference in gender.
I think perhaps single women think differently about their singleness to single men.
I can't say that for sure, having only got one perspective in my life.
Singleness also varies between the individuals.
Some single people see their singleness as a great blessing, whilst others see it as a great burden,
and many find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, depending on the days.
Some individuals have a real desire to be married, but yet remain single.
Others, for varying reasons, value and relish their single status.
Others started out with a desire to be married, but over time have learnt contentment in their singleness.
Yes.
I'm also very conscious that I'm speaking about singleness as someone miraculously who got married,
which is more to do with the grace of my wife and the wisdom of God than anything to do with me.
I found myself ironing this afternoon.
Thus was the sanctifying influence of marriage.
I thought to myself this would never have happened unless Aileen was gracious to me.
I'm also very conscious that while writing this, I don't want to be glib or patronising or to diminish what can be a very real struggle or a very great blessing of being single.
So having prayed, wrestled, read, ruminated and redrafted a lot, I hope that what I share this evening might be of real help.
It might bring blessing and be an eye-opener for all of us, no matter our marital status.
And we will leave enlightened, better equipped and with greater hoping in all that we have in Christ.
All of us have at one time been single.
And even if we're married, half of those people will perhaps leave this life single.
So it is perhaps more relevant than you would imagine.
So let me pray and then we'll get to work.
Paul writes, and he died for all that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again.
So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view.
Father, when it comes to this subject of relationships,
Father, when it comes to this subject of fulfilment and romantic love or lack of it,
Father, our world is saying one thing and your word is saying another.
And so I really pray that we might think about this subject not from a worldly point of view,
but we would see your wisdom, we would trust in your grace.
And we would love your son most, over and above all things on this earth.
So Lord, speak to us and help us guide our thinking, change our lives,
courage us along the way in our pursuit of your son, Jesus, we pray.
Amen.
2007 was the year in the UK where the number of single people,
number of single adults for the first time outnumbered the number of married adults.
We are now a majoritively unmarried culture.
Marriage has been on the decline since 1971 and is projected to fall below 35% of the population by 2031.
That only a third of adults in 15 years' time will be married.
These statistics are slightly more in favour of marriage within the church, as you might expect.
But single adults are a significant minority of most congregations.
Many in our churches are single and we are ministering to a majority single culture.
So thinking theologically about this subject is of vital importance.
Our culture and its pedestalling of romantic love makes the challenge and perception of singleness worse in our eyes.
Where would Hollywood be without the boy meets girl storyline?
How many songs would be in the charts if it wasn't for our fixation with romantic love?
What would people sing about if it isn't?
The longing for a love you don't have, finding the love you long for,
being rejected by the one you love or losing the love you once had.
In the eyes of our world, all you need is love.
And for that, in their eyes, you need a lover.
If you type online dating into Google, you get 145 million hits in 0.31 seconds.
It seems the only happy ending society can stomach is one with a couple walking hand in hand along the beach.
And that couple is made up of two people who have found the one.
Growing up, we give Barbie to our children for their birthdays and give them Ken for Christmas
to make the picture complete and palatable.
One of the most excruciating things I've ever had to do in ministry was speaking to an after-evening service Bible study,
which was lovingly called the Fellowship of the No Rings,
which was this collection of single people gathered from across three churches
who basically got together in the hope that they might be saved from their single status.
It was excruciating.
The way this group was spoken about by those not in the group was utterly embarrassing
and so dismissive and diminishing of these people.
It revealed just how much culture would shape people's thinking about personhood, contentment, and completeness.
Our surrounding culture sees people, 30 in their late 30s, who are still single,
and their question is, what's wrong?
Many of the books that I read simply said, if you're still single, it's your fault, you're too picky.
Lower your standards and get on with it.
So patronizing and so badly thought out.
So what does God have to say about singleness?
If we develop a biblical theology of singleness, how does that shape our thinking from God's Word
about how to think about this subject, how we value and live out the truth of God's Word in our lives?
Well, I think the first thing that I want to say is that the New Testament in particular
speaks about singleness in a way that is revolutionary compared to all the other world religions.
Astonishingly different.
Whilst the vast majority of monotheistic religions of the world all share similar family values and sexual ethics,
Christianity is worlds apart from these on the subject of singleness.
In Judaism, marriage is considered a commandment and celibacy is deplored.
In the Quran, the practice of celibacy is considered as exceeding the law of God.
Whilst marriage is akin to divinity in Mormonism,
where celestial marriage is necessary in order to enter heaven.
In traditional cultures, you are a non-person until you're married.
In modern cultures, you are unfulfilled unless you have a partner, husband or wife.
Christianity, however, not only affirms singleness,
but goes further describing it as a gift and a highly valued lifestyle within the believing community.
However, there is a lot of work we need to do to see that in all its radicalness.
I want to spend the first bit of time developing a biblical theology of singleness,
which I assure you is a lot more exciting than it sounds.
And then I want to see a few things that we can take away from that to think about singleness.
So here we go.
The creation, mandate and singleness.
I wonder, what is the first commandment that God gives to his creation in the Bible?
What is the first commandment that God gives to his creation in the Bible?
Be fruitful and multiply.
And who does he give that commandment to?
He gives it to the fish of the sea and the birds of the air in Genesis 1, verse 22.
In Genesis 1, 28, that same command is given to Adam and Eve with the added command to subdue the earth,
to be God's vice-regents over creation.
Therefore, in Eden, before the fall, reproducing oneself is a fundamental and natural task commissioned by God for all creation,
including human beings.
To achieve this end, it was necessary for the alone Adam to find, to have,
to have created a bespoke companion for him, a helper.
And so Eve is created that that creation mandate might be carried out.
Therefore, we can conclude in the creation mandate,
singleness was neither present nor appropriate,
as the need to procreate was intrinsic to obeying God's command.
See also in Genesis 3, as God is cursing them for their disobedience,
how fundamental offspring are to the redemptive promise that God makes to Adam and Eve amidst the curses.
So in Genesis 3, 15,
And I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring.
He will crush your head and you will strike his heel.
Therefore, the creation mandate continues,
And these two set of offspring will continue a struggle down through the ages
until one offspring will finally stamp out evil literally forever.
And therefore, descendants and procreation continue on.
Be fruitful and multiply in Eden.
As they're kicked out of Eden, be fruitful and multiply seems to continue.
After the flood, this mandate, be fruitful and multiply,
is repeated to Noah twice,
in Genesis 9, verse 1 and Genesis 9, verse 7.
So after the fall,
once God presses the reset button on creation with the flood,
the creation mandate still stands.
The necessity to be fruitful and multiply.
Therefore, who's in the ark?
Noah and his wife.
Shem, Ham and Japheth and their three wives.
Because to fulfill this mandate, you cannot go it alone.
If procreation is commanded,
then singleness is not viable.
Then we get to Abraham, Genesis 12.
In Genesis 12, God makes a covenant with Abraham
that is primarily involved in progeny,
in offspring.
So in Genesis 12, when the covenant is made,
Now the Lord said to Abraham,
Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house
to the land that I will show you.
And I will make you a great nation.
And I will bless you and make your name great
so that you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you.
And him who dishonors you, I will curse.
And in you, all the families of the earth shall be blessed.
See that the core of this covenant surrounds the promise of children.
Becoming a great nation requires the multiplying of descendants
in order that the nation will be large and great and spectacular.
And this idea to have a great name in a Semitic culture
is to be remembered and venerated by your descendants.
Abraham will have a multitude of offspring
through which the world will be blessed.
It's intrinsic there in Genesis 12.
A few verses later, this is made more explicit.
As Abraham looks out over Canaan,
God says in verse 7,
To your offspring I will give this land.
This Abrahamic covenant is repeated
and developed upon five different occasions in Genesis.
And across the five, the promise of offspring
is explicitly mentioned 12 times
and illustrated using three different metaphors
that Abraham's descendants will be as numerous as the dust of the earth,
as numerous as the stars in the sky,
and as numerous as the sand on the seashore.
This dependence on offspring emphasizes the provision of God
in overcoming Sarah's barrenness.
If procreation is necessary in obedience to God,
then Sarah's barrenness will be a real problem.
So will Rebecca's in the next generation and Rachel's
in the generation to follow.
In the old covenant that builds from Abraham onwards,
God is focused on Israel as an ethnic people
and therefore the emphasis on marriage and reproduction
is universally the norm.
We get to the law and the law is bound up with children as well.
By the time we get to Exodus chapter 1,
we read that Israel were fruitful and increased greatly.
They multiplied and increased exceedingly.
They seem to have at least taken that command of God quite seriously.
And then in Deuteronomy 7,
when God is laying out the stipulations of the covenant,
he writes this about the blessing that will befall them
if they're obedient to him.
You shall therefore be careful
to do the commandment and the statutes
and the rules that I command you today.
And because you listen to these rules and keep and do them,
the Lord your God will keep with you
the covenant and the steadfast love that he swore to your fathers.
He will love you and bless you and multiply you.
He will also bless the fruit of your womb
and the fruit of your ground,
your grain and your wine and your oil,
the increase of your herds
and the young of your flock in the land
that he swore to your fathers to give you.
You shall be blessed above all people.
There shall not be male or female barren among you
or among your livestock.
And then at the end of Deuteronomy,
where this covenant is reiterated,
the curse is the complete opposite.
That if they're disobedient, barrenness will be the punishment.
There's also throughout Deuteronomy,
this concern about inheritance.
That somebody's name will not be blotted out
or cut off from the land.
There's exhaustive stipulations in the law
that people's inheritance,
which is necessitated by offspring,
will not fall into the wrong hands.
So in the year of Jubilee, you get everything back.
If you're a man and you die without male offspring,
you have a Leverite marriage where you marry,
your wife marries your brother.
Failing thought she got a bad deal the first time round.
That's what we see in the book of Ruth that we read from earlier.
That Ruth is a single lady,
a single Moabite lady going back to a foreign people
has very little prospects.
But Boaz, in the end, that great Boaz,
comes forward as the kinsman redeemer
who performs a Leverite marriage,
not to Elimelech's brother,
but to a very near relative.
The law of Moses, when you drill down into the detail,
gives no value or affirmation to singleness.
It's just not there.
Which brings us to David.
God makes a covenant with David,
which again is centered around offspring.
He's promised that he'll have a great name
like the name of great ones of the earth.
But further down, the Lord says,
I will make you a house, a dynasty.
I will raise up your offspring after you
who shall come from your body.
And your house and your kingdom
shall be made sure forever before me.
Your throne shall be established forever.
In the Old Testament,
this is what I'm trying to show,
singleness is not value.
It's not a fact.
It's not a norm.
In fact, as far as I can see,
in the Old Testament,
there were six groups of people
that were single, widows,
but most of them would have got married again.
Eunuchs, a most unenviable position
in ancient Israel,
seen as non-persons,
those that are diseased.
Those with a divine call,
the people like Jeremiah,
in Jeremiah 16,
is told not to marry,
as a visual metaphor
for how Israel has behaved.
The divorce,
the stipulations in Deuteronomy 24,
about grounds for divorce,
and young people
are waiting to be married.
So you get Isaac in Genesis 24,
and Samson in Judges 14,
both waiting for their parents
to arrange a marriage.
Further demonstrates
how undesirable singleness
was as regards the Old Covenant,
and how unusual singleness is
in the Old Testament.
It's not been a greatly encouraging talk so far
if you're single.
But it does get better.
It gets radically different.
And we start to see it in the prophets,
particularly in Isaiah.
There's something very unusual
against the backdrop of negative singleness
being foreshadowed in the prophets.
The winds of change
are blowing through the scriptures
as we move from old to new.
And so we get the fourth servant song,
the one that we love,
the end of Isaiah 52 and 53.
This foreshadowed description
of the Lord Jesus.
Says he was oppressed
and he was afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth.
Like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep
before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
By oppression and judgment
he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off
out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression
of my people.
And they made his grave
with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death.
Although he had done no violence
and there was no deceit in his mouth.
It is clear that this character,
this suffering servant,
dies with no offspring.
Who can speak of his descendants?
No one.
He was cut off that Hebrew idiom
about not having anyone
to carry on his name.
Yet towards the end of the psalm,
in verse 10,
something remarkable happens.
He has put him to grief.
Yet it was the will of the Lord
to crush him.
He has put him to grief.
When his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring,
he shall prolong his days.
The will of the Lord
shall prosper in his hands.
We have a servant who dies
without any natural offspring.
And yet once he's made atonement for sin,
he has offspring that he sees
and is satisfied by.
We have a figure in the future
who will be single
and yet have offspring.
What sort of offspring will they be?
Well, remarkable offspring.
A very different kind of offspring
because in Isaiah 54,
we have the song of a barren woman
and this is what she sings.
Sing, O barren one,
who did not bear,
break forth into singing
and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor.
For the children of the desolate one
will be more than the children
of her who is married.
Says the Lord,
enlarge the place of your tent
and let the curtains
of your habitations
be stretched out.
Why?
Because there's lots more offspring.
You need to upsize.
This little barren woman is told,
do not hold back,
lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread abroad
to the right and to the left
and your offspring
will possess the nations
and will be people
and will people
the desolate cities.
We get a servant who dies alone
and yet has offspring.
We have a barren woman
who has no descendants
and yet sings rejoicingly
over new offspring.
Just to make it even better
in Isaiah 56,
once this servant has come,
for thus says the Lord
and let the eunuch complain,
I am only a dry tree.
And let no eunuch complain,
I am only a dry tree.
To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast my covenant,
I will give in my house
and within my walls
a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters.
I will give them an everlasting name
that shall not be cut off.
So the eunuch,
because of this servant,
is now welcomed in God's temple,
will have a everlasting name
that won't be cut off
and have a name greater
than sons and daughters.
Just to bring it full circle,
in Isaiah 56,
the foreigner has many children
and a great name
and a wonderful inheritance.
So through the old,
so though the old covenant
centers around ethnic Israel,
is marked by offspring
and therefore makes marriage implicit
and singleness cursed,
the picture in the prophets,
particularly Isaiah,
offers new hope
and stands in stark contrast.
Suddenly singleness is reinterpreted
and the covenant revolves
around a different kind of access.
Not a physical access,
but a spiritual access.
Not about being Abraham's descendants
by race,
but God's spiritual offspring
by grace.
By trusting the sufficient seed,
the serpent crushing son,
the obedient servant
and the forever king,
Jesus Christ.
Suddenly it is not about
your human birth
or pedigree
or credentials.
It's not about
whether you're married or not.
The sole way
life now finds worth
is not about
whether you were born
or birthed your own children.
It's whether you were born from above
and regenerated by the Spirit.
Which forms a backdrop
to our New Testament.
And in the New Testament,
singleness is not only viable,
but affirmed.
It's not only an option for some,
it is a venerated pursuit for many.
John the Baptist,
the Apostle Paul,
some of the disciples,
and Jesus himself
are all single.
If Jesus,
the most complete human being
who ever lived,
was single,
then that is a stunning endorsement
as to the value of that status
now in the New Covenant.
If the Apostle Paul,
the most prolific writer
of the New Testament
and pioneering church planter
of the known world,
was single,
then we have to say
that things are markedly different
in the now present kingdom of God.
If John the Baptist,
who is described by Jesus
as the greatest of all men
born of woman,
if he were single,
we must see that there's
a markedly different
way of life
at the inauguration
of God's kingdom.
Jesus says only two things
explicitly about singleness
and neither of them
are addressing the subject
head on.
Both of them are in debates
with people trying to trap him.
So in Matthew 19,
as the Pharisees
try to trap Jesus,
he states that Moses
condescended to give them divorce
in the law
because of their hardness of heart.
It then says,
the disciples on the back of that
where Jesus says
that marriage is to be
honored and obeyed,
the disciples say,
if such is the case
of a man with his wife,
it is better not to marry.
But Jesus said to them,
not everyone can receive
this saying,
but only those
to whom it is given,
for there are eunuchs
who have been made
so from birth.
There are eunuchs
who have been made eunuchs
by men.
And there are eunuchs
who have made themselves eunuchs
for the sake
of the kingdom of heaven.
Let the one who is able
to receive this
receive it.
It's quite tricky
to know exactly
what Jesus is saying there
and many people
have taken those teachings
badly to their detriment
in church history.
But over and against
the negative connotations
of being a eunuch,
what Jesus says
is suggesting
that in his kingdom
there is credit,
viability,
and blessing
to not being married.
There is credit
in being a eunuch
for the sake
of the kingdom.
There is advantage
to some
and the kingdom
as a whole
in some
remaining single
for spiritual
reasons.
The second reference
is in Matthew 22
where this time
Jesus is trying
to be trapped
by the Sadducees
with the riddle
about the seven brothers
who all end up
marrying the same woman
and he's then asked
well whose wife
will she be
in the resurrection.
And Jesus says
you are wrong
because you know
neither the scriptures
nor the power of God
for in the resurrection
they neither marry
nor are given
in marriage
but are like
the angels of heaven.
So Jesus seems
to be saying
that in the
consummated kingdom
in resurrection life
singleness
will be the universal
state and marriage
is a reality
in this life only.
This again
seems to diminish
the necessity,
importance
and eternal value
of marriage
and in fact
frames union
between husband
and wife
as a transitory
reality.
These assertions
are further elaborated
on by the Apostle Paul
in 1 Corinthians 7
which is a great text
to go to
as we think
about singleness.
In 1 Corinthians 7
it's important
to remember
the context
of Corinth
that this is a
very licentious people
that seem to be
going a bit wild.
So we don't want
to make sweeping
generalizations
but at least
seven times
in one chapter
Paul places
singleness
alongside marriage
and frames them
both as good gifts
from a good God.
Paul also seems
if you read
the whole chapter
to commend singleness
at times
above marriage.
He seems to show
bias towards
being single.
Many times
he says
I wish you were
all single
as I am
which is a
stunning thing
against all
that we've read
in the Old Covenant
and against the culture
that Paul
and we
live in.
So in 1 Corinthians 7
at the beginning
it is good for a man
not to marry
but since there is
so much immorality
each man should have
his own wife
and each woman
her own husband.
It is good for a man
not to marry.
I'm sure they would have
read that chapter
several times
as they thought
about it.
He says in 1 Corinthians
7 7
I wish that all of you
were as I am
single
but each of you
has your own
gift from God.
One has this gift
another has that.
gift there is about
the status
not the ability.
So he's not talking
about the ability
to be singleness
as a gift
he's saying
singleness
is a gift
both
ordained from the
hand of a good God.
1 Corinthians 7
verse 8
Now to be unmarried
now to the unmarried
and the widows
I say it is good
for them to stay
unmarried
as I do
but if they cannot
control themselves
they should marry
for it is better
to marry
than to burn
with passion
but later on
in the chapter
are you unmarried?
Do not look for a wife
verse 28
those who marry
will face many
troubles in this life
and I want to
spare you this
I look back
on
my
single life
I didn't have
iron shirts
but life was
quite simple
now with
marriage
and
two people's
point of views
having to be taken in
and decision making
one car
that needs to be
juggled around
lifts here and there
can't just get away
with a microwave meal
for one anymore
that definitely needs
to feed two people
life is more
complicated
I wouldn't say
it's many troubles
and I'd be disappointed
if Aileen heard the recording
and I didn't set that
straight
but life is certainly
more complicated
1 Corinthians 7
32 to 35
it makes quite a
long winded argument
which paraphrased
that
married person
has complex
and compromised
affections
whereas someone
who is single
can live
in a right way
with undivided
devotion to the
Lord
1 Corinthians 7
39
a woman is bound
to her husband
as long as she
lives
but if her husband
dies she is free
to marry anyone
she wishes
but he must belong
to the Lord
in my judgment
she is
happier
if she stays
as she is
that is
now single
there's no getting
away from the truth
that in the New Testament
singleness is no
longer cursed
but seemingly
blessed
and greatly
blessed
in the New Testament
the expectancy
of procreation
is diminished
and the now
spiritual family
birthed in the Lord
Jesus is a whole
different thing
it revolves around
a whole different
axis
it has a totally
different value
system
a totally
reconstructed
relational matrix
and a covenantal
contract
that supersedes
the need
to procreate
and have progeny
that it seems
that now
in Jesus
is reframed
and what was
formerly true
is now
obsolete
conscious that
that is quite
a long winded
way of addressing
the subject
but I think
there is value
in showing us
that things
are now new
in the kingdom
of Jesus Christ
things are
radically different
from how they were
as weight
to the revolution
in relationships
that Jesus
inaugurates
where a singleness
was a tragedy
in the old covenant
it has the potential
for great blessing
and eternal fruit
for the acquisition
of a great name
and to do great good
and bear great fruit
for the Lord
in the new covenant
so to finish
I want to say
a few things
that are practical
and hopefully
helpful on the back
of what we've
been looking at
the first is this
I think it is
good if we are
all conscious
of the struggles
faced by single
people
you can't get away
from what Paul says
in 1 Corinthians 7
that if you are
burning with passion
it is good
to be married
that there is
real
real urges
real desires
within us
to have a
companion
to have
a partner
even though
Paul says
singleness is
viable
and valued
he still says
there is real
struggles
the struggle
of loneliness
to not have
that special
someone
to wake
up alone
every day
it is hard
that is
I am sure
a real struggle
for many
and therefore
it is important
for all of us
to be
open
to walking
closely
with single
people
to making
sure that
they are
involved
in life
to involve
them in our
family lives
that if
as Jesus
inaugurates
churches
a totally
different
kettle
of fish
then it is
important
that we
reframe
the way
we think
about each
other
and particularly
look out
for those
that are
single
if what
Paul is
saying
and Jesus
is saying
about singleness
is true
the great
struggle
would be
sexual
immorality
and again
that is
going to be
overcome
by having
good
friends
by having
people
invited
into their
lives
so there
can be
accountability
it is
the same
for everyone
sexual
immorality
is not
a problem
for the
single
alone
but it is
only going
to be
overcome
if we
support
each other
and encourage
one another
amidst our
sex obsessed
culture
that is ready
to trip
us up
and snare
us at
every
opportunity
with
singleness
I think
comes very
real struggle
but very
real struggle
if we can
forge great
relationships
that we
can certainly
bear each
other's
burdens
and help
each other
through
secondly I
think there's
very real
dangers
that we
do live
in a culture
where the
dream of
young boys
and girls
is to go
through life
to find that
someone to
have that
big wedding
day to
have 2.4
children
although how
you manage
0.4 I'm
not sure
so there's
a real
danger
if our
lives as
Christians
don't play
out in the
way that
culture says
we should
for bitterness
to grow
for resentment
to grow
for frustration
to take
over
and for us
to doubt
that God
knows what
he's doing
and he's
somehow given
a second
best
therefore we've
got to
affirm each
other in
our status
and help
each other
through when
those things
are rearing
their ugly
head
we don't
allow bitterness
to grow
into gangrene
and then
become detrimental
to our
health
and relationship
with the
Lord Jesus
there's also
a real danger
that we form
for ourselves
functional
saviors
that if I am
a single
person who
longs to be
married
then my
functional hell
is to remain
single for the
rest of my
life and
therefore I'll
create for
myself a
functional saviour
which will be
somebody to
lift me out
of that
functional hell
and the
problem is
the minute we
frame it like
that it's
destined to
all go wrong
because there's
only one proper
saviour and his
name is Jesus
and if we have
all of our
identity tied
up in what
anybody else
can do for
us we'll
always be
disappointed
and we'll
always be
let down
you can do
that with
anything
if your
functional hell
is driving to
work in a
clapped out
car then your
functional saviour
will be a
new car
and then when
that rusts and
needs to go to
the mechanic
you'll be
crushed
so there's
real dangers
in singleness
but I think
there's real
opportunity
Paul is very
clear in 1
Corinthians 7
that singleness
offers the
opportunity for
undivided devotion
to the Lord
great opportunity
to serve the
Lord to be
all out for
Jesus without
a compromise
diary
a great
opportunity to
put on display
to a watching
world that
actually Jesus
is all I
need
and that I
find my
identity in
him and I'm
complete in
my relationship
with him
it's an
opportunity to
trust God
it's an
opportunity to
trust God if
you're married
or single
Paul says
both the
gifts of God
and therefore we
can be content
and we need
to strive to
be content
in whatever
our marital
status is in
the season
that we're
in
if we can
even if
we're single
be complete
in Christ
then that is
going to be
the best
foundation
if God
in his
sovereignty
bring someone
along for
us to share
our lives
intimately
with
it's a real
challenge
a real
challenge
as I
already said
about the
plausibility
of church
as a real
family
not just a
buzzword
that we
throw out
to make us
all feel
warm and
fuzzy
but there
is plausibility
to that idea
there is
tangibility
that people
don't just
silo our
family life
that yes
we gather
for church
and then it's
all the
children in
the car
and off
we go
compartmentalize
that part
of our
lives
but who
can we
invite in
who can we
journey through
life closely
with
who are the
people that
we befriend
and invest
in
even though
they're not
blood
relatives
I think we
also see
in the
challenge in
the New
Testament
so many
people are
referred to
as spiritual
sons and
daughters
Paul talks
about
Timothy
and Titus
and
Anesimus
as spiritual
sons in
the faith
he writes
in Romans
16 about
Rufus'
mother
and how
he is
his mother
how she
is Rufus'
mother
and his
just think
about being
the spiritual
mother of
the apostle
Paul
how proud
would you
be
and so
whereas in
the old
covenant
the idea
was to
be fruitful
and multiply
physically
what does
Jesus tell
us in
the New
Testament
go
and make
disciples
make
spiritual
sons and
daughters
now there's
no reason
that your
physical
sons and
daughters
can't also
be your
spiritual
sons and
daughters
as you
live out
the life
of faith
before them
and invest
and point
them to
Jesus
all the
time
but let's
be clear
in the
realm of
eternity
the only
thing worth
anything
is
spiritual
sons and
daughters
spiritual
brothers and
sisters
through faith
in Jesus
Christ
and we
come into
land with
this and I
think it's a
helpful place
to land
there's real
hope
because whether
you're married
in this life
or not
whether you
have that
big wedding
day with
the big
dress
feeding loads
of people
that most
of whom you
don't even
know
whether you
have that
or not
there is
the great
hope in
Jesus that
everyone will
be present
at
participate
in
and be
central to
a wedding
which will
blow all
other weddings
out of the
water
revelation
19
verse 6
then I
heard what
seemed to
be the
voice of
a great
multitude
like the
roar of
many waters
and like the
sound of
mighty peals
of thunder
crying out
hallelujah
for the
Lord our
God
the almighty
reigns
let us
rejoice
and exult
and give
him the
glory
for the
marriage
of the
lamb
has come
and his
bride
has made
herself
ready
it was
granted her
to clothe
herself
with pure
linen
bright and
pure
for the
fine linen
is the
righteous
deeds
of the
saints
and the
angel
said to
me
write
this
blessed
are
those
who
were
invited
to the
marriage
supper
of the
lamb
and he
said to
me
these
words
these
are the
true
words
of
God
that's
where
we're
all
heading
to
that
wedding
day
where
we
are
not
only
invited
but
also
involved
and so
all
other
marriages
are just
a foreshadowing
and a
warm up
act
for that
day
so
whether
you
have
one
or
not
in
the
light
of
eternity
it
will
not
matter
let
me
pray
father
god
thank you
that
jesus
makes
everything
different
that
he
makes
everything
new
that
he
brings
sure
and
certain
hope
father
that
it
means
that
in
him
we
truly
are
family
and
because
that
is
true
no
one's
missing
out
father
no
one's
getting
second
best
but
lord
if
we
have
jesus
we
have
all
that
we
need
father
thank
you
that
you
bless
us
in
an
innumerate
number
of
ways
father
you
give
us
each
other
father
you
give
us
every
good
and
perfect
thing
so
at
the
end
of
this
day
no
matter
where
we
find
ourselves
the
status
we're
occupying
at
present
father
we
want
to
say
that
we
trust
you
father
we
love
you
and
that
our
heartfelt
cry
is
that
you
would
have
your
way
with
us
lord
whatever
you
planned
and
chosen
we
want
to
sign
up
to
that
and
say
that
is
call
with
us
and
father
that
you
would
take
us
and
bring
glory
to
your
name
through
whatever
we
do
whoever
we're
with
whatever
that
looks
like
father
may
Jesus
be
our
all
in
all
and
everything
else
be
framed
in
light
of
that
father
bless
us
and
help
us
to
be
church
father
bless
us
and
help
us
to
love
you
most
we
pray
this
in
Jesus
name
who
is
our
ultimate
who
is
the
one
who's
loved
us
more
than
we
could
ever
imagine
and
the
one
in
whom
we
find
all
our
completeness
and
all
of
our
joy
Amen