Do sit and in your series sheet you should have an outline of tonight's sermon.
! It's the same structure over the four weeks of the series on marriage.
! I think it'll help you in some ways. I think it's the only way you'll keep track tonight.
So do keep that open before you.
And Matthew chapter 19.
I want to start tonight by stating the obvious.
That between Genesis chapter 2, which we looked at last week, and Matthew chapter 19,
a lot of water has passed under the bridge.
Last week, we looked at what God said about marriage and singleness at the very beginning.
But between then and when Jesus arrives on the scene many years later,
in that time we hear about lots of marriages in the Old Testament.
Some are described in the Bible in very positive terms.
But many of the marriages we read about in the Old Testament are downright terrible.
And yet even in the midst of husbands and wives hurting each other and acting wickedly,
God is working out his gracious promises and purposes for his people.
In particular in the Old Testament, he works out his purposes through children.
He promises to Abraham and to David, depend utterly on the future generations.
And likewise, God's promise of a Messiah will be fulfilled, won't it, through a significant birth.
So from the perspective of the Old Testament, God's blessings for the world largely come through families who procreate.
And in that context, being childless or unmarried is usually seen in the Old Testament in a largely negative light.
To be unable to procreate in the New Testament was a source of great grief and shame.
And so there is little or no evidence in the Old Testament of anyone voluntarily choosing singleness.
There is, however, mention a number of times of those who are involuntarily single.
They didn't choose it.
The Old Testament speaks of eunuchs.
Men who are either born without the ability to reproduce or have had their genitalia removed by some kind of overload.
And of course, eunuchs did not have much status in society.
They were generally used rather than loved.
But not so with God.
There's a really famous chapter of Isaiah, chapter 56.
And God promises that in the days to come, even eunuchs who obey his word will be welcomed and they'll be included.
In God's house, Isaiah says, and they will be given a name that is better than sons and daughters.
A name that will endure forever.
Probably the other thing to say about the years since the beginning from Genesis 2 to Matthew 19
is that they included the giving of the law.
And the law of Moses addressed issues which might arise in the course of a marriage.
Even in the circumstances of how divorce was to happen.
And how remarriage should be seen and handled.
And so all of that is the setting into which Jesus comes and speaks.
But of course, another key factor of the context and the setting in which Jesus speaks is this conflict.
That he's in with the Jewish establishment.
You don't have to read just more than a few verses in the Gospels to pick that up.
The Jewish religious leaders, they are jealous of Jesus right from the start.
They see Jesus undermining what they stand for.
And in many ways, I guess he is, isn't he?
But as a result, the Pharisees and the chief priests, the scribes,
they are always on the lookout for ways to discredit him.
And so once again, you see in Matthew 19 that.
Ultimately, they're looking to get rid of him.
The Jewish leaders in Matthew 19 are trying to trip Jesus up.
And Matthew makes it very clear to us in verse 4
that the questions about divorce do not flow from a genuine or a humble inquiry.
They come from a desire to test Jesus and to embarrass him.
And so whilst the Jewish leaders were seeking to undo Jesus,
many of the other people couldn't get enough of him.
Crowds followed Jesus wherever he went.
They may not have all been disciples.
They weren't.
But they were certainly fascinated by him.
In our day, I wonder, it's a little bit like when people follow a celebrity online, on Twitter.
Do you remember when all those millions followed Donald Trump?
They didn't follow Donald Trump.
Maybe you followed Donald Trump.
You didn't follow Donald Trump because he was supportive of all his tweets.
But you just couldn't wait to find out, well, what's he going to say next?
And so it is with Jesus here.
Jesus has just finished teaching the people in parables.
And we come to chapter 19, verses 1 and 2.
Now when Jesus finished these things, the parables, he went away from Galilee.
He entered into the region of Judea, beyond the Jordan.
And large crowds followed him.
And he healed them there.
They're thinking, what will Jesus say next?
What will he do next?
Well, let's think carefully about how Matthew answers that question.
Point 2 on your outlines is out of an exposition.
So it begins in verse 3 with a question from the Pharisees.
Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?
Now that question is as silly as it sounds, isn't it?
Any cause is a lot of causes.
Anything from she killed my mother to she burnt the toast.
And they must have known that it was unlikely that Jesus would say yes.
But of course they could only hope.
Because this was the set-up question, wasn't it?
They were planning to sting him with their follow-up question.
But even though it wasn't a very serious question,
Jesus responds with a very serious answer.
Look at verse 4.
Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning
made them male and female and said,
therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.
And the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
And what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
Oh, there's a little barb, isn't there?
Look at the start of verse 4.
Haven't you read?
No, he's saying the answer to your question
is there in black and white on the pages of the Bible.
Genesis chapter 2, actually.
And not only is this the best of ancient wisdom,
these are the words of your creator.
Effectively, Jesus answers their question
with a very strong and emphatic no.
It is not lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason.
So God created marriages to be a profound and sacred union
between a man and a woman.
So profound, in fact, that God describes them as being one flesh.
And what is more, Jesus says they are one flesh
because they are joined by God,
joined for a lifetime,
not to be separate.
And Jesus is basically saying
divorce is never good.
If God has joined two people together,
then divorce is man
undoing the work of God.
Therefore, what God has joined together,
let no one separate.
Well, you see the Pharisees,
they think they've caught Jesus.
They're happy with his answer
because they think Jesus has just contradicted Moses.
Is Jesus saying that Moses got it wrong?
So in verse 7,
they refer Jesus back to Deuteronomy,
chapter 4,
and this is their second question.
Why then did Moses command one
to give a certificate of divorce
and send her away?
And Jesus responds to them, doesn't he,
in verse 8,
and the first thing he does
is correct the Pharisees'
understanding of the law.
He tells them Moses didn't command
divorce.
Very carefully,
Jesus uses the word permitted
or allowed.
Verse 8,
because of your hardness of heart,
Moses allowed you
to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning,
it was not so.
And Jesus' explanation
is that the law of God
permitted divorce for sin.
I think that means
for hardness of heart.
But the law wasn't turning its back
on Genesis 2.
The law was making provision
for human sinfulness.
Since marriages were ending
and men were sending away their wives,
there needed to be legislation.
There needed to be protection
for the defenseless
to regulate how those
sort of tragic circumstances
be handled.
But Jesus says,
it wasn't like that
in the beginning.
He's reminding them again
of Genesis chapter 2.
And I don't think Jesus' argument
is very difficult for us at all.
If somebody breaks into your house
to steal your computer
and you happen to catch them red-handed,
the law may allow you, I think,
to detain that person,
but it prevents you
from using excessive force.
There are laws like this today
that describe how people
should react in unfortunate
or difficult circumstances.
So just because there's a law
about how to treat a burglar,
it doesn't mean that the law
thinks burglary is okay, does it?
In the same way,
just because the Old Testament law
described how to respond
to the ending of a marriage,
it doesn't mean that the ending
of a marriage is fine.
In fact, Jesus says
the ending of a marriage
is not fine.
It is not what God wants.
It is not how God designed us.
And he underlines that again
in verse 9.
Look what he says.
He says,
He's saying that in the eyes of God,
there's no difference between a man
having sex with another woman
behind his wife's back
and formally divorcing her
and then going to have sex
with another woman,
even if the other woman
becomes his wife.
Now, of course,
Jesus' position on this matter
isn't actually
that black and white.
Because as you'll notice
in verse 9,
he allows an exception.
The verdict that he's just given
doesn't apply universally,
he says.
He's not saying
remarriage after divorce
is adulterous in every case.
He seems to be saying
in the case of sexual immorality,
divorce is not a sin.
And by extension,
remarriage after divorce
on those grounds
is not adulterous before God.
Now, what are these grounds
that he's talking about?
What does sexual immorality mean
in this passage?
Sexual immorality
is any sexual conduct
which exists outside
the boundaries of moral sex
between a married man
and a woman.
So it certainly refers
to adultery.
But it also refers,
I think,
to a wider category
of sexual unfaithfulness
as well.
So Jesus is saying,
if your marriage
comes to an end
because your spouse
betrays you sexually,
then there is something
about that act
which unravels
what God has done
in a unique way.
And under those circumstances,
God permits divorce
and does not consider
adultery,
remarriage adultery,
adulterous.
Now, notice he's not
commanding divorce
in those terrible circumstances.
No doubt,
God would be delighted
to find that two followers
of Jesus
that suffered
the worst kind
of betrayal
could still show
each other repentance
and real forgiveness
so that the marriage
could be saved.
I'm aware
that would be
very,
very hard.
But it would also
be very wonderful.
But it's not always
possible,
is it?
And Jesus is acknowledging
that where that is
not possible,
this exception
can apply.
I just want to
take a step back
here for a moment.
And I want to acknowledge
how hard
Jesus' words are
here.
And for many of us
who are here tonight
and maybe you are watching,
how painful.
There'll be some people
here tonight
who've lived through
the aching sorrow
of a broken marriage.
Others of you
will have experienced it
as a child
in a broken home.
others of you
have supported people
that they love
as they go through
divorce.
I'd be really surprised
if the vast majority
of us have not been
affected
by the pain
of divorce
in some way or another.
And for some here
tonight,
the very mention
of the word
brings a sick feeling
to your stomach.
Tears to the back
of your eyes.
And I'm conscious
of those
in our church family
who will be listening
to this
and finding it
very difficult.
I don't find
any joy
in stirring up
those emotions.
But we must hear
what Jesus says
to us.
The sheep need
to hear the voice
of the Good Shepherd.
And this is what
the Good Shepherd
says to us.
On the one hand,
he says something
very black and white
which is his
major point.
Marriage
is for life.
All divorce
is a terrible
departure
from God's
intention.
And for the record,
I think those
who've maybe
experienced divorce
first hand
would probably
be the first
to agree with that.
They know
all too
painfully
that that is not
how things were
meant to be.
But Jesus
also says something
that is less
black and white
and more great.
Here is his
minor point.
He says in the
case of a marriage
being torn apart
by sexual
immorality,
there is an
exception to
this principle.
Let's move on
to verses 10
to 12.
Because there
we hear from
Jesus' disciples.
They are listening
to Jesus
and they answer
the Pharisees'
question.
They've got a
question of their
own.
Look at verse
10.
They say if this
is the situation
between a husband
and wife,
it's better not
to marry.
It's not
entirely clear
what the
disciples are
referring to,
reacting to.
But they seem
to be saying
if this is the
kind of commitment
that God
expects,
that if God
is really serious
about this
lifelong faithfulness
thing,
then wouldn't
it be better
just to stay
single?
In verse 11,
Jesus seems
to allow that
there's a strong
logic in what
the disciples
say.
Jesus says
in verse 11,
some can't
accept that
logic that
is.
There are
those who
won't choose
singleness
because God
hasn't given
them a life
of singleness.
But there are
others who've
been given a
single life,
verse 12,
and Jesus
says there in
that verse,
there are some
also who are
born incapable
of a sexual
relationship.
There are some
who've been
cruelly made
that way at
the hands of
other men,
and there are
still others
who willingly
choose a
life of
singleness
so they
might serve
the kingdom.
And in
any of those
situations,
God has
given them
singleness.
And so
Jesus says
to the one
to whom
has been
given,
the one
who can
accept it
should accept
it.
The culture
that we live
in today hates
celibacy.
Can't understand
it.
But once
again,
we find
the Lord
Jesus
butting
heads
with our
culture.
He describes
people who've
been given
a life of
celibacy
by God,
some by
virtue of
their birth,
some by
virtue of
the circumstances
by which
they live.
And there
are some,
Jesus says,
who voluntarily
choose singleness
for a time,
either for a
time or
permanently,
in order to
devote themselves
to God's
work.
Jesus
himself would
be an
example of
that last
category,
wouldn't he?
Jesus
lives like
a eunuch,
to use his
phrase,
for the sake
of the king.
And so
by the words
he speaks
here,
and his
own
celibate
singleness,
Jesus affirms
what we saw
in Genesis 2
last week,
that marriage
is not the
ultimate thing,
sex is not
the ultimate
thing.
sexual
intimacy is
not ultimate.
For some,
marriage is a
precious and
wonderful gift
from God,
but for
others,
the unmarried
life is
God's gift.
Now,
let's take
some time to
kind of pause
and think
through the
implications of
this.
What is
Jesus saying
for both
marriage and
for singleness?
So,
two things
about marriage.
number one,
Jesus teaches
that marriage
is a
joining
by God.
I think
Jesus is
taking something
that's
implicit in
Genesis 2
and making
it explicit
in Matthew
19.
Jesus
thinks it's
really crucial
that you
don't miss
this tonight.
marriage.
And I
think this
conclusion is
central to
the whole
way that
Jesus thinks
about marriage
and everything
else he's
saying in
these verses.
I don't
think it's
saying,
I don't
think it's
overstating to
say that the
crucial five
words of this
passage are
there in
verse 6.
What God
has joined
together.
What God
has joined
together.
It's really
struck me this
week as I've
studied this,
that when a
man and a
woman get
married,
they are not
just joined by
their mutual
consent and
promise.
They are
certainly not
just joined by
the words that
a minister
pronounces.
when a man
and a woman
get married,
they are
joined by
God.
When you go
to a wedding,
what do you
see?
You see,
you witness a
couple making
vows to each
other,
joining hands,
exchanging
rings,
kissing each
other,
being given
away by
parents,
being pronounced
man and
wife by the
person who
officiates.
But the most
significant thing
that happens at
a wedding,
you can't
see.
there is a
somber,
really serious,
quite terrifying
moment that
is invisible at
every wedding,
which is the
thing that
matters most.
The God who
imagined marriage
and who
created it to
be a profound
and intimate
union,
the God who
is the author
of love,
that God
joins people
together.
And so,
if you're
married tonight,
God has
done something
to you.
He has
glued you
together with
your husband
or wife.
And it's
on that
basis that
you must
think of
your marriage
as lifelong,
not to be
unjoined.
It is because
your lives
have been
merged by
God himself
that you
must not
unmerge
them.
God has
joined
together.
Let no
man
separate.
Now,
as we've
seen,
that's a
really
black and
white
statement.
But there's
also some
gray,
isn't there?
And the
gray we see
here is
because of
sin.
And Jesus
speaks
specifically
about sin
on two
occasions here,
I think.
Verse 8,
where he
says that the
relevant Old
Testament laws
have been
given because
of hard-heartedness.
And then
secondly in
verse 9,
where he
acknowledges that
marriages are
shipwrecked by
the sin of
sexual immorality.
Yes,
there is
sin.
And sin
brings with
it all sorts
of brokenness
and complexity.
And so
life is not
always to be
lived with
just the
black and
the white
in view.
And sometimes
we need
God's help
to find
the best
thing to
do in
a terribly
broken
situation.
And the
scriptures give
us guidance
here in
verse 9,
as we're
going to
see in
1 Corinthians
7 next
week.
But I
want to
focus
tonight on
the black
and white
because that
is Jesus'
major point.
And I
want to
tease out the
implications of
Jesus'
major point.
Whether we're
divorced or
married or
single or
looking to
marry,
and I
want to
speak to
each of
those groups
in turn.
Firstly,
to the
divorced.
because life
is messy
and broken
as a result
of sin,
some of
us may
have lived
through the
tragedy of
a broken
marriage.
I want to
point out to
you tonight
that Jesus
did not
speak these
words to
make divorced
people feel
guilty.
Jesus
knows the
circumstances
of every
divorce.
And Jesus
is able,
well able,
to look
compassionately
on his
people who
have lived
through that
pain.
As you
know,
God has
made a
way for
people to
be forgiven
for every
sin.
And
depending on
the reasons
for your
divorce,
it may be
that you
need to
repent of
having gone
down that
road.
may not
be the
case,
but some
may have
divorced for
reasons that
Jesus does
not permit.
And if
that is true
for you,
your divorce
was not
right.
And you
ought to
confess it
to God.
If there's
any way to
be reconciled
to your
former spouse,
then you
should consider
that seriously
too.
Now,
of course,
in many
cases,
that is not
possible.
And it
may not be
possible,
maybe because
you've
married
again.
And if
that is
the case,
God certainly
wants you
to be
faithful to
your new
spouse.
The Bible
never advocates
a repentance
for divorce
that involves
divorcing
someone else.
There may
be other
reasons why
reconciliation
isn't
possible.
Whether it
is or not,
a Christian
who is
divorced when
they should
not have
divorced needs
to trust
God for
his forgiveness
and for
his cleansing.
unforgiveness
may not
mean that
you're free
to marry
again.
It may
not mean
that you
can avoid
some of
the painful
consequences
of your
decisions.
But it
certainly does
mean this,
that you
can rest
in the arms
of the
unqualified
love of
God.
The blood
of Jesus
spilt on
the cross
means there
is grace
without
exception.
And we
are clean
in his
sight.
And so
God does
not hold
your past
against you.
And nothing
can change
that.
And
secondly,
to the
married.
Because the
primary application
of Matthew
19 is towards
those who are
married,
and to us
he says
this,
he says,
what God
has joined
don't
unjoin.
and what
God has
knitted
together
don't
unravel.
And he
wants us
to work
tirelessly
at an
extreme
cost,
if necessary,
to protect
our marriages
from harm.
And so
tonight,
I want to
ask you
if you're
doing that,
that's not
a light
thing,
it's not
a little
thing.
You've
been joined
together,
not just
by a
minister,
or your
shared
consent,
but by
God
himself.
A
one
flesh
relationship
like this
is to
be
treasured,
it's a
very
precious
gift.
But if
it's
something
to be
treasured,
it's
also
something
to be
protected,
isn't
it?
Will
you do
whatever
it takes
so that
your
marriage
will
last
a
lifetime?
That
might
mean
as
you've
listened
to
this
sermon,
you
realize
that
you need
to
meet
with
someone
to
work
through
some
issues.
It
might
mean
getting
some
help
to
tackle
an
addiction.
It
might
mean
dropping
a
friendship
if
that
friendship
is an
impediment
to your
marriage
in some
way.
It
might
mean
a
complete
reorientation
of your
life's
priorities.
It
might
even
mean
a
new
job.
Whatever
else it
means,
it
certainly
means
this,
daily
hard
work,
daily
thoughtfulness,
daily
repentance
of sin,
daily
prayer,
daily
grace
towards
your
spouse,
and
daily
forbearance,
and
daily
attentiveness
to this
relationship.
Anything
less than
this kind
of commitment
will make
it very
hard for
you to
do what
Jesus
asks of
you here.
and
anything
less than
that kind
of commitment
leads
you to
become
another
statistic.
And so
you probably
know that
the statistics
on divorce
amongst
Christians
are horrifying.
I read
one writer
this week
who said
Jesus would
be appalled
at the
ease and
frequency
with which
divorce takes
place today.
And I
suspect he's
right.
In fact,
I wonder
whether future
generations
will look
back at
this kind
of period
of church
history,
and what
will they
say when
it comes
to the
issue of
marriage
and divorce?
You know,
we look
back,
don't we,
on slavery,
and we
think to
ourselves,
how was it
that so
many Christians
did not
have a
problem
with
Christians
owning
slaves?
How was
it that
so many
Christians
helped
perpetuate
slavery
as an
institution?
How blind
were they?
And I
wonder whether
future
generations
might look
at ours
and say
the same
about
marriage.
How did
so many
Christians
not have
a problem
with getting
divorced and
marrying again?
How is it
that so many
Christians
helped
perpetuate
a kind
of casual
attitude
to lifelong
enduring
marriage?
Is the
Bible not
clear?
Yeah?
How Christians
in our day
come to see
Matthew 19
verse 6
if you just
look at it?
Do we
see that
maybe more
as an
ideal
to aim
for
but
something
that's
regrettably
beyond
us?
But many
of you
wonderfully
thankfully
are living
faithfully
in your
marriages.
And so
I don't
want to
just offer
a challenge
to the
casualness
that might
be in
our view
of marriage.
I also
want to
remind you
of the
beauty
and the
wisdom
of living
God's
way.
And so
I wish
I had
ours.
I could
tell you
stories
about this.
I don't
have
ours but
if I
did I
tell you
of Mark
whose
wife came
home
and told
him of
the
colleague
that she
betrayed
him with.
And I
tell you
how he
still lives
with the
hurt
and
struggles
with
trust
but how
he stood
by her
from then
on till
now.
I could
tell you
of Jennifer
whose husband
is an
alcoholic
who hid
it from
her for
years
and still
often
lies about
it now
who keeps
forgiving
him and
supporting
him and
loving him
as he
battles
his addiction.
I tell
you about
a man
called
Sam
a lady
called
Sam
whose
husband
is a
shell
of the
man she
married
because
of the
grip
of
mental
illness
on his
life.
I tell
you about
how much
her life
has changed
in order
to care
for him.
How few
of her
emotional
needs
are met
by him.
How she
faithfully
walks her
lonely
road
alongside
him.
I could
tell you
about
Tom
whose
wife has
dementia
and who
now often
doesn't
recognise
him
and
forgets
his name
and regularly
shouts
abuse at
him and
even
throws
things
at
him.
But I
tell you
about how
he tenderly
brushes her
hair and
how he
patiently
prays for
her and
reads the
Bible to
her with
her in
her calmer
moments.
I tell
you about
Jan who
comes to
terms with
the confusion
that she
feels about
her husband's
repeated visits
to a
prostitute.
I could
tell you
what it
looks like
to be
faithful to
her husband
even though
she feels
sick to
look at
him lots
of times.
I've
changed
the
names
but the
stories are
all true.
Stories of
happy marriages
no
but stories
of Christian
brothers and
sisters who
are as
serious about
marriage as
Jesus is.
Beautiful
stories of
Christians who
treat Matthew
19 verse 6
as if it's a
non-negotiable.
stories of
wise people
who are
deeply
convinced
that God's
way is
best.
So finally
on this
point let
me speak
to those
of you
who are
single and
would like
to be
married.
To those
who hope
for a
husband and
wife.
If you
don't think
that you
could stay
married to
someone who
developed a
serious mental
illness and
was no longer
meeting your
needs then
marriage isn't
for you.
If you
don't think
you could stay
married to
somebody who
broke their
wedding vows then
marriage isn't
for you.
If you
don't think
you could stay
married to
someone whose
personality really
changed and
became unkind and
unresponsive marriage
isn't for you.
If you don't
think you could
stay married to
somebody who
started taking
illicit drugs then
marriage isn't
for you.
The thing about
getting married is
you don't know
what the future
holds.
but you
nevertheless make
binding promises
that bind you to
be a certain
kind of person.
And so unless
you're really up
for richer or
poorer in
sickness or in
health for better
or for worse
then don't walk
down the aisle.
Don't make a
liar out of
yourself before
your family and
friends and before
God.
you'd be better
off like the
disciples
not get married
at all.
Which brings me
to point four
about singleness.
What do the
words of Jesus
mean for those
who are single?
And again two
things.
I think they
mirror what I
said last week
from Genesis 2.
The first is to
acknowledge that
singleness in one
sense is a
deprivation.
What I mean by
that is that the
single person really
is experiencing the
absence of something
good.
Just like Genesis 2
taught us.
Jesus affirms
doesn't he the
essential goodness
of marriage.
A profound unity
of two people
becoming one
flesh.
The rich blessing
of what it is to
be bound to
another person
by God.
And so to not
be married is to
be deprived of
one of God's
blessings.
So it's not a
surprise to find
Jesus talking about
singleness by
discussing the
life of eunuchs.
Because eunuchs
by definition
live life with
deprivation against
their own will.
Although Jesus
acknowledges doesn't
he that some
eunuchs live
voluntarily like
that for the
sake of the
kingdom.
But even if
somebody does
choose to live
this life they
choose to go
without something
good.
And by doing so
they testify that
God himself is
more precious
than his
gifts.
They testify that
God can be
trusted utterly
even in the
face of
deprivation.
So Jesus'
language affirms
here at one
level singleness
is a deprivation
like Genesis 2
does.
Jesus dignifies
the grief that
many single
people feel in
not being
married.
And he affirms
the goodness of
the desire to be
married.
But at the
same time
Jesus is able
to speak about
how in another
way singleness
is better than
marriage.
You notice
that better is
the word that
the disciples
use in verse
10.
It's interesting
isn't it?
Jesus doesn't
contradict them.
What is in the
disciples'
mind is that
singleness might
be better than
the extremely
high commitment
that Jesus
expects of
those who
marry?
And it
seems to me
that if the
question that
the disciples
ask in verse
10 has never
found its way
into your
heart and
to your lips
then you
haven't really
understood what
Jesus is saying
about marriage.
Because if you
haven't grasped
all the
implications of
being joined
to someone
by God
then the
disciples'
question of
verse 10
is an
obvious question
to ask.
Of course
Jesus doesn't
challenge the
disciples for
thinking that
singleness might
be better than
marriage.
He also
suggests a
reason of
his own.
He says in
verse 12
that singleness
might be
better if you
want to serve
the kingdom
of heaven.
Now singleness
is the first
normal state
for every
Christian.
Everyone is
single at some
point in their
life.
Many are
single to begin
with, then
they're married,
and then they're
single again.
But we often
think of, don't
we, singleness
as a kind of
precursor to
marriage.
One writer
calls it a
calling in
incubation.
We think
singleness, well
it has some
value, but only
some value on
the way to
something else.
It's alright as
far as it goes,
but it might be
better when we
graduate to
marriage, but
that's not how
Jesus thinks.
In fact, if we
had time, we
could jump to
Matthew 22,
and read the
passage where
Jesus says
there'll be no
marriage at the
resurrection.
We'd see how
it is that Jesus
argues the
opposite.
He tells us
that marriage is
temporary.
In the end,
singleness is
permanent.
Marriage might be
lifelong, but it's
not eternal.
And that reminds us
again of what we
saw last week.
Marriage is not
ultimate.
Sex is not
ultimate.
intimate.
There's a
greater intimacy
in the universe
than anything that
is possible for
two human beings
to enjoy.
And Jesus
seems to suggest
in Matthew 22
that a day is
coming when the
intimacy of Jesus'
relationship with
his people will
utterly dwarf any
kind of intimacy
we've ever known.
on that day, if a
husband enjoys an
ongoing relationship
with their spouse,
it won't be based
on marriage.
It will be based on
their shared
membership of
Christ's church in
eternity.
Singleness will be
universal.
And it's because
Jesus believes that
the kingdom of
heaven, that that
is the ultimate
thing, he can
suggest even in the
here and the now,
singleness might be
better than marriage.
Because serving the
kingdom of God will
last forever.
the marriage won't.
That's really
consistent with what
Jesus says in the
Gospels, isn't it?
How he speaks about
family, Mark chapter
three.
He tells us that his
family aren't mother
and brothers standing
outside the house
trying to see him,
but his family are all
who do God's will.
This is Jesus who in
Matthew chapter 10
says he's come to turn
a son against his
father and a daughter
against his mother.
And that anyone who
loves their father or
mother more than him
is not worthy of him.
This is Jesus when
Luke chapter 9 told a
would-be disciple if he
wanted to go and say
goodbye to his family,
he wasn't fit for
service in God's
kingdom.
And Jesus constantly
subverted the ideals
about family in his
day.
And if that was true
then, how much more
is that true now?
In our society and in
church life, which
often idolizes family,
Jesus drives a bull
dozer through our
cultural values.
time after time,
Jesus insisted that
the kingdom mattered
more than the family.
And the kingdom must
come first.
That's the same
imperative we find in
verse 12.
So he says to those
who can accept
singleness, they
should accept it.
He's not saying it's
an option you should
consider.
Jesus is saying if
you can accept
depriving yourself of
marriage to serve
Jesus, then you
should.
So it makes perfect
sense that some
will choose singleness
for the sake of the
kingdom over marriage.
It's not far-fetched,
I don't think, to say
that when it comes to
being devoted to the
kingdom, singleness is
better.
So let me summarize
everything I've been
saying at my fifth
point, the kingdom of
God.
What does Matthew 19
tell us about living
life in Christ's
kingdom?
About following Christ
Christ as king?
So firstly, the
kingdom gives you a
reason to stay
married.
Who was it that
made them male and
female in the
beginning?
It was God the
king.
Who decreed in the
beginning that a man
will leave his father
and his mother and be
united to his wife and
the two will become one
flesh?
God the king.
Who is it that really
joins two people together
when they get married?
It's God the king.
Who was it that said
what God has joined
together, let no one
separate?
It was Jesus Christ,
God's king.
It's hard to think of a
passage in the Bible that
makes the lifelong nature
of marriage so clear.
So to the marriage, can I
say this?
Even if you can't think of
any other good reason to
stay married to your spouse,
here is one very compelling
reason.
Do not unjoin what God
has joined.
And that's a matter of
submission to God the king.
But to those who are
currently single, I say to
you, here is a compelling
reason to stay single.
There are two reasons,
actually.
The reason that the
disciples gave because the
commitment of marriage is
so great.
But there's also the reason
that Jesus gave that living
life as a eunuch may be the
best way for you to serve
heaven's kingdom.
And of course, no one will
voluntarily choose singleness
for this reason unless they
are powerfully convinced that
the kingdom is the ultimate
thing.
No one will make this choice
unless they are persuaded that
marriage and sex are part of a
fading world and not part of the
eternal one.
No one will choose singleness
for life unless they've come to
believe that deep in their soul
Jesus offers to all who follow
him a far greater joy than
marriage can provide.
Did you hear that sentence?
No one will choose singleness
for life unless they've come to
believe deep in their soul that
Jesus offers to all who follow
him a far greater joy than
marriage can provide.
We don't really have many models
of people who've chosen singleness
for the sake of the kingdom.
And I wonder whether that is
because we've just not thought
seriously enough about these
parts of the Bible.
I certainly know I didn't before I
got married.
And I wonder if we really do
struggle to believe that the
kingdom of God is ultimate.
Ultimate in a way that marriage
is not and could never be.
And I wonder if future
generations of Christians will
not only ask us why were there so
many divorces amongst Christians
but why there were so few that
chose intentional singleness for
Jesus.
Jesus' own intentional singleness for
the kingdom took him to the cross.
He spent his single life in order
that the kingdom of God might
welcome people like you and me.
Jesus does not ask anything of us
that he has not already done for us.
Jesus does not ask anything of us
that he has not already done for us.
And so if you are single here
tonight this evening, Jesus looks
you in the eye.
Jesus looks you in the eye
and he asks whether you would be
willing to follow in his single
footsteps for the sake of the
kingdom.
As I wrap up, finally, fidelity to
the king's words.
It's ultimately the core issue in the
kingdom of God.
In a very significant way,
God's kingship is exercised through
his words.
He rules us by speaking to us.
And to live in the kingdom of God is
to hear his words and obey.
It is to hear words from Genesis 2
like the ones we heard last week
that Jesus quotes here and to think
very deeply how our lives conform to
those words.
It's to hear the words that come from
the lips of King Jesus himself and
reorient our thinking and our feeling
and our living around those words.
And so tonight we've heard these
words from Jesus that marriage is an
act of God.
That for better, for worse, we're
never to unjoin what God has joined.
And we've heard a word of invitation
from Jesus to consider singleness for
the sake of the kingdom.
And that invitation comes with a very
provoking challenge in verse 12,
isn't it?
He says the one who can accept this
should.
So the question I finish tonight with
is will you listen?
Will you be faithful to the king's
words?
Of course, because of the road Christ
walked for us, we know forgiveness.
Forgiveness for all our failures.
And we have the strength of his Holy
Spirit to help us in our obedience.
But the key challenge remains.
Will your life be marked by fidelity
to his words?
If you were to flip back to Matthew 17,
you would come to the Transfiguration.
You'd read the story where Jesus is
seen at the top of the mountain with
Moses and Elijah.
And God's voice thunders down from
heaven.
This is my son, whom I love.
With him, I'm well pleased.
Listen to him.
And in that moment, God calls on us to
recognize Jesus as the greatest voice of
human history.
He is the one to listen to, even if we
listen to no one else.
He is the one who tells us what God
says.
He is the one who tells us what we
desperately need to hear.
There is nothing more sensible in the
world than doing that.
He knows you better than you know
yourself.
Hearing and obeying him is a great act
of trust.
And so I'm not pretending for a
moment tonight that it's easy.
But he loves us.
And everything he tells you, he tells
you for your good.
He's the most trustworthy person there
is.
He is the good shepherd.
And so let me ask you, amidst all the
voices you're hearing in your life, are
you hearing Jesus more loudly and more
clearly than any other?
And does your life reflect that his
voice is the greatest voice in human
history?
And so I want to urge you tonight to
listen to him.
And then with humble honesty before God,
accept his word and be faithful to it.
God says, this is my son whom I love,
with whom I'm well pleased.
Listen to him.
Let's pray.
Thank you.