WEBVTT

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 Well, good morning. It's so good to be with all of you. Such looks of expectancy on your faces.

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! So good to be with you here this morning, to be able to be home in our home church with all of you.

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 We have been traveling a lot over the last few weeks. We were in Montana visiting a church last weekend.

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 First time in Montana. And let me tell you, if there is a competition for church visits, the amount of physical activity

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 we do on those church visits, the folks in Montana win hands down. Within about an hour of us landing

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 in Montana, we were hiking to the top of Mount Helena. And then the next day, we were supposed

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 to have a series of meetings with key leaders at the church. And they said, why don't we do those

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 meetings while mountain biking in the mountains? And we said, that would be great. And so we mountain

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 biked through Butte, Montana, having in-depth, intense conversations as we went. It was wonderful.

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 And yeah, we feel like we survived and had a wonderful time. So as you know, we have been

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 navigating both the last six months in my new role as bishop, also for Alicia and me as empty

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 nesters. We're now six or seven months into being truly empty nesters. We have found, though, that with

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 kids that have technically left the house, we still do a fair amount of sort of parenting from a distance.

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 Lots of texts come our way. Especially we notice their freshman year, trying to figure out doing things

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 for the first time, even filling out official forms that you've never had to fill out before and figuring out

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 how do we answer this. I know of one mom, this wasn't one of our kids, thankfully, but I know of one mom

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 whose son went to college as a freshman, had to fill out one of those official forms. It asked for his emergency

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 contact, and he wrote, mom. Underneath it, it said relationship, followed by a blank space, and he wrote, good.

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 So continue to pray for us as empty nesters.

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 Two Sundays ago, we celebrated Easter together, and I don't know about you, but I always find the move

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 from Lent into Easter as a little bit of a shock, especially if you're here for the Easter vigil,

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 coming from the darkness of Lent, six weeks of deprivation, and moving into repentance, and a

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 soberness of the season. That first move into Easter is a little bit of a shock, and I feel caught off

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 guard, and it takes a minute to catch up. And if you feel that way about Easter as well, then this

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 morning's gospel reading from John is for you, because it's the story of one disciple who, amidst all the

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 joys of Easter morning, is not quite ready to celebrate yet, and has a very different reaction

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 to news about the resurrection than all of the other disciples do.

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 Three weeks ago, Alicia and I were watching the NCAA basketball tournament. We had filled out our

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 brackets, and we are big college basketball fans in our household. The problem with that is that

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 Alicia was an undergrad at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, and I was a grad student at

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 Duke. And it means during basketball season, there's a little bit of tension in our household.

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 And we were watching the fourth round, the Elite Eight, to determine who was going to the final four. I had

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 picked Duke in my bracket to win, and for those of you that watched the tournament, you know that Duke

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 was playing UConn, seemed to have it in control for the entire length of the game until the final few

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 minutes, and everything fell apart. And with 0.4 seconds left on the time, a freshman from UConn shot

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 from just past half court, and it swished through, and unbelievably, UConn won. They beat Duke in a major

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 upset. Now, if there is one thing that my wife, who graduated from the University of North Carolina,

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 loves, she loves Carolina winning a basketball game. But a very, very close second for her that she

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 absolutely loves is Duke losing any basketball game. And when that basket went through the rim,

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 my wife began hooping and hollering and jumping up and down and pounding on pillows and texting all of

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 her friends in Carolina. And she kept this up until, to her credit, she looked at me. And she said, I'm so sorry.

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 And for the next few hours, maybe the next couple of days, I have a lot emotionally invested in these things,

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 we had a note of dissonance in our household because we responded to the very same news in very different

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 ways. And in this morning's gospel reading from John, we encounter one disciple who reacts to the

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 same news that the other disciples heard, and he reacts in a very different way. And it creates this

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 note of dissonance. Like right in the middle of this text, John 20 is a really like exuberant passage.

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 It is celebrating the resurrection of Jesus. And you've got Mary, Mary Magdalene going to the tomb

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 in the morning, and she thinks that she's talking to the gardener, and then she realizes it's Jesus.

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 And she runs back and she tells the other disciples.

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 And then later in the chapter, the disciples have gathered that Sunday evening after the resurrection

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 in an upper room, and Jesus appears in their midst, and they see him, and they talk to him,

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 and he blesses them, and he gives them the Holy Spirit, and they're filled with joy and exuberance.

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 And right in the middle of all of this joy, John drops this other account into the middle of things.

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 It seems like this story of joy might continue, but Thomas wasn't in the room, and so they come

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 to him to tell him the good news, and they say, Thomas, we've seen the Lord.

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 And they expect, and we expect as readers, for Thomas to be overjoyed as well. That's what

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 all the momentum is, except that he isn't. Thomas, it turns out, is not going to believe something,

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 based on someone else's experience. And so, verse 25 says, Thomas says to them,

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 unless I see the nail marks in his hands, and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand

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 into his side, I'm not going to believe.

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 Now, let's pause for a moment. The response to Thomas throughout history has been almost universally

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 negative. Thomas doesn't believe, and so he's viewed as lacking faith, or being out of step,

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 or being spiritually deficient in some way. What is he known as throughout history?

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 Doubting Thomas. How would you like to go through life?

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 Instead of Pastor Thomas. Instead of Father Thomas. Doubting Thomas.

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 If that is what you are known as throughout history.

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 But I think those assessments are wrong.

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 And in fact, the church fathers and the earliest commentators on this passage did not view Thomas

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 in this way. In fact, they believe that John, in writing his gospel, very intentionally and

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 strategically included this account, this story, right in the middle of these resurrection appearances.

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 With all the awkwardness, with all the dissonance, he did it very, very intentionally.

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 Because, they said, John believed that most people are going to respond to news about Jesus' resurrection

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 the way that Thomas did.

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 They're going to be skeptical.

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 They're going to ask questions.

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 Most people don't immediately respond the way that Peter did, or Mary Magdalene did, who see

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 resurrection, who see evidence of the resurrection, and they run back and they tell everyone else

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 about it. Most people, John thought, respond the way that Thomas did.

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 And so, he includes the story of Thomas because he wants future readers to be able to find themselves

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 in the story.

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 He wants us to be able to find ourselves in this story.

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 There is a wonderful book by Janet Hagberg called The Critical Journey.

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 And she talks about the process of spiritual growth and how it happens.

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 And she says we might be tempted to think that the story of spiritual growth is one about kind

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 of constant and incremental progress.

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 By doing lots of the right things, by learning how to pray, by going to church, by doing all

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 kinds of activities that are part of a spiritual journey.

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 And, of course, those are one part of the story.

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 But she says that the most important part of spiritual growth, something that is like rocket

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 fuel for spiritual growth, is something that she calls disruptions.

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 And disruptions are things that occur in our life which do not fit the narrative.

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 They do not fit our plans.

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 They do not fit our expectations.

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 And they force us to go on an inward journey that we did not plan on going on.

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 They force us to look for answers that we do not possess or for resources that I look around

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 and I say I do not have access to these resources that I need right now to respond to what has

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 come into my life.

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 And I think that the story we have heard read this morning is not actually about doubt.

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 It is about disruption.

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 And so perhaps we shouldn't be calling Thomas doubting Thomas.

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 Maybe we should call him honest Thomas.

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 Thomas.

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 Because, to his credit, Thomas does not just go along to get along.

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 There must have been, I would think, tremendous pressure for Thomas to at least feign enthusiasm.

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 To simply accept what his friends were saying.

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 We know from our own experience that there is tremendous pressure to believe whatever our social

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 circles believe or whatever our particular spheres of influence are.

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 But even at the risk of being misunderstood, Thomas responds to this news not so much with doubt

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 but with honesty.

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 Because he is experiencing something that is a disruption in his life.

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 And so if Janet Hagberg in her book is right, if disruptions are one of the primary forces

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 for spiritual growth in our life, then we should learn to pay more attention to them.

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 And perhaps not lose out on the opportunities that they present.

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 Sometimes those disruptions are intellectual.

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 It's clear that Thomas, in our passage this morning, he's having an intellectual disruption.

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 Because while first century Jews believed that there would be a general resurrection of

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 faithful Israel at the end of history, they had no frameworks, no conceptions of one person

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 being raised from the dead in the middle of history.

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 And so when his friends, who he otherwise trusts, come and present him this new information

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 to tell him something that doesn't fit his intellectual framework,

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 there's a crisis that gets introduced into Thomas' world.

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 Several months ago, I sat on our sofa with a college student who was not a Christian

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 but was an honest spiritual seeker.

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 And he was seeking because as a young adult, he was starting to become awake

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 to the fact that the false promises of the world, consumerism or pleasure or just the kind of dopamine

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 distractions of modern life, they were not delivering its promise.

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 And he was becoming awake to their deficiencies.

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 And this awakening was creating some disruption in his life.

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 And he had not really taken the claims of religion seriously before.

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 But in looking, in being forced to go on a journey that he did not plan to go on,

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 he was beginning to look at broader claims.

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 And we sat there in our living room and we talked for an hour and a half

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 about some of the most serious intellectual conversations and discussions and questions

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 that one can have about Jesus and the meaning of life

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 and all of the central things that necessarily come up as we're considering those kinds of things.

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 It's worth noting that intellectual disruption is not just for those who are not yet Christians

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 and thinking about it.

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 Intellectual disruption happens for those of us who have been raised in the church.

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 And at certain seasons of life, we find that the answers we were given

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 or the answers we've settled on are no longer adequate

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 to the answers that we are confronting, either in ourselves or that friends or neighbors or others

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 are bringing to us.

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 And we find ourselves even later in life, even later in our Christian journey,

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 having to deal with intellectual disruption.

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 And the church should be a place where people can go on that journey.

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 And to engage with the intellectual disruptions that occur even later in life.

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 Sometimes disruptions are not intellectual so much as they're experiential.

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 I'm reading a fascinating book by an author, fascinating writer, Barbara Ehrenreich.

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 She's most well known for her book Nickel and Dimed on Not Getting By in America.

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 She died just a few years ago.

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 She was a committed atheist.

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 But about 10 years ago, she wrote a memoir that I'm reading right now.

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 It's called Living with a Wild God, in which she tries to make sense of a whole series of profound mystical experiences.

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 She started having around the age of 17.

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 And it continued for several years after that.

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 And her book attempts, it recounts her attempt, now as an adult, going back and reading her journals from that era

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 and trying to make sense of what was happening.

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 And what's interesting is that although she doesn't end up moving from her basic position as an atheist,

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 she does not discount or psychologize those experiences.

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 But she ends up arguing that there is a much larger reality that is bigger and deeper and more mysterious than we think.

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 And in the book, she takes the task, the scientific rationalism of the world in which we live

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 that does not take proper account of mystical or spiritual or religious experiences

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 that a significant percentage of the population claims to have.

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 She argues that many people are having disruptions in their lives,

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 this inbreaking in their world that are mystical or spiritual in origin,

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 and we should learn to pay attention to them and figure out what to do with them.

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 Sometimes the disruptions in our lives are not intellectual or experiential so much as they are circumstantial.

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 The writer C.S. Lewis writes about the changes in his life as he cared for his wife, Joy Gresham,

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 as she died at an early age from cancer, and as he tries to make sense of her suffering and the loss,

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 he writes in his book, A Grief Observed, that there was a softening of his heart

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 and an ability to become more emotionally vulnerable and to live in greater love with those around him

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 as a result of this disruption.

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 He writes, God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.

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 And the crises that come in loss, whether it's the unexpected loss of a job or a failed relationship

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 or a bad health report, these are disruptions that if we can pay attention to them,

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 if we can somehow wrestle with them and receive them,

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 they can lead us into a deeper journey that we didn't plan to go on.

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 What do we do when disruption occurs?

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 It's interesting that in this moment of disruption for Thomas,

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 and he expresses his need for Jesus.

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 He says, I need to see and experience this for myself.

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 It's interesting that it doesn't happen right away.

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 Jesus does not respond right away.

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 Even though Jesus appears to be all over the place, he's showing up to other disciples.

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 First Corinthians, Paul writes that Jesus showed himself after his resurrection to over 500 people.

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 Everyone else seems to be seeing Jesus, but despite Thomas' desire to see Jesus for himself,

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 Jesus doesn't show up right away.

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 And I wonder if Thomas was tempted to get stuck.

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 I wonder if he was tempted to just give up.

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 Because that is a temptation.

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 When we enter into seasons of disruption,

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 the emotional requirements of having to go in search of new or better or deeper answers,

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 or the fear of leaving what is known and comfortable can sometimes just leave us there for longer than we would like,

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 and we get stuck.

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 And I wonder.

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 Thomas expresses this need.

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 There's no Jesus.

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 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday goes by of that week.

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 And I wonder if he was just tempted to give up.

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 But what does he do?

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 He decides to exercise some agency.

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 And he decides to visit the last place that he'd heard Jesus had been.

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 Jesus had appeared to the other disciples the previous Sunday in an upper room.

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 And so the next Sunday, Thomas shows up there too.

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 He shows up with no guarantees that Jesus is going to be there.

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 There's no advance warning.

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 But rather than allow his experience of the previous week to drive him into passivity,

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 he goes searching for Jesus.

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 And he shows up at the last place that he knew he was.

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 And there he finds him.

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 Verse 26 says that a week later, his disciples were in the house again,

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 and this time Thomas was with him.

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 Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said,

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 Peace be with you.

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 And then without wasting any time, he goes right to Thomas.

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 And he says, Put your finger here.

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 See my hands.

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 Reach out your hand.

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 Put it into my side.

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 Stop doubting and believe.

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 And Thomas said to him, My Lord and my God.

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 No matter where we are at in our spiritual journey,

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 no matter how stuck we might feel, whether we're facing disruption or not,

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 whether we're feeling stuck or not,

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 a good question we can always ask is the question that Thomas asked.

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 How do I put myself in a place where Jesus might show up?

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 What is the smallest step that I can take towards Jesus, whatever that might be?

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 And then trust that in Jesus' way, in Jesus' timing, he'll show up.

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 This morning we are going to confirm some folks, a lot of folks.

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 Teenagers, adults.

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 And confirmation is a service in which we take a step towards Jesus.

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 Confirmation is a service in being confirmed.

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 In being confirmed, we're saying that the vows that I made at my baptism

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 or the vows that were made on my behalf, I'm now claiming those vows in a new way,

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 in a more self-conscious way.

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 Confirmation, it's a step towards God.

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 It's a chance to say, I want to be a part of what God's doing in the world.

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 I want to join God in his project of bringing healing and repair and redemption to all things.

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 I want to be a part of that.

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 And so as we lay hands on those who are going to be confirmed here this morning,

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 as we ask the Holy Spirit to empower them to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world,

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 it's also an opportunity for all of us to open our own hearts to God

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 and to invite him to do that in us as well.

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 Amen.