WEBVTT

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 My name is Matthew Capone, and I'm the pastor here at Cheyenne Mountain Presbyterian Church,

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 and it's my joy to bring God's word to you today.

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 I'm going to jump right in this morning.

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 You know, often I'll kind of give you guys a little bit of an introduction, but we have a lot to cover.

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 And I want to honor your time and our time together and make sure I keep this on focus.

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 And so I'm just going to remind you that we're in the book of 1 Peter,

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 and the book of 1 Peter is a book about people who are living in a world where they feel out of place

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 because they follow after Jesus, and they're facing opposition because they follow after Jesus as well.

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 And we have seen several key principles over the last several weeks,

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 and these key principles have been applied in multiple situations.

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 So key principle number one, 1 Peter 2, 9, you're a priesthood.

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 And as a priesthood, you're proclaiming God's excellencies to the world,

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 and you're representing God to the world.

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 So people learn about God because of you and the way that you behave.

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 Second, so that's principle number one, priesthood.

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 We represent God to the world.

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 Principle number two, we want to have honorable conduct so that when people speak against us as evildoers,

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 they still see the good that we're doing, and that's 1 Peter 2, verse 12.

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 We want them to see what we're doing, and that would lead them to know God and glorify God.

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 And then finally, we're told in 1 Peter 2, 17, to honor everyone.

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 And those three principles are what we've been going through the last several weeks,

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 so we've applied those to government.

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 How do we relate to our government in such a way that people know Jesus more because of us?

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 How do we relate to our government in such a way that even though they speak against us,

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 they can see our good deeds and they glorify God because of it?

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 How can we interact with government in a way that we honor everyone?

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 Last week, we talked about masters and slaves, and we applied it to employment.

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 How can we work in the workplace in such a way that people come to know Jesus?

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 How can we work in the workplace in such a way that people honor and glorify God?

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 How can we work in the workplace in a way that we honor everyone?

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 And this week, we're going to continue those principles,

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 and we're going to apply them to a different situation.

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 So rather than government, rather than the workplace,

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 we're now going to be talking about how this applies to marriage.

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 How in marriage, and it's not going to be just marriage in general,

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 it's going to be a very specific situation.

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 This passage is talking to Christian women who are married to non-Christian men.

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 It's a passage about Christian women who are married to non-Christian men,

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 and how can they apply these principles as well.

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 These principles of being a priesthood,

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 principles of doing good and bringing honor and glory to God,

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 and then also principles of honoring everyone.

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 Now, if you were in the new members class last week,

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 you heard me tell this joke, but most of you didn't hear it,

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 so I'm going to share it with you.

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 Stories told of a pastor who was single,

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 and he taught a Sunday school class on parenting.

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 And the class was called Ten Commandments of Parenting.

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 Now, later along, he got married, and he had a kid,

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 and he taught the class again.

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 And this time, the title changed slightly.

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 It wasn't the Ten Commandments of Parenting.

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 It was actually the Five Commandments of Parenting.

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 Now, that was when he had one child.

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 Later on, he and his wife went on to have more children.

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 They had maybe four or five.

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 And he finally taught the class a third time.

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 And the title changed one more time.

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 It was gone from Ten Commandments on Parenting

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 to Five Commandments on Parenting.

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 And then finally, it was a few suggestions about parenting.

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 I'm going to preach to you about Christian marriage,

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 and I'm a single man.

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 And our hope is not in me as a preacher.

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 Our hope is in God's word that it's good,

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 and he has something to say to us.

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 I've also thought about this this week,

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 and I realized it's not in the cards for me

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 to ever be a Christian woman married to a non-Christian man.

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 And so no matter what happens to me,

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 I will never be in this situation

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 that we're going to look at this morning.

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 And yet, God has given us his word.

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 He's given it to instruct us how to live in this world,

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 and it is good for us.

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 And so that's our hope as we come to it,

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 not in our preacher,

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 but in our Father God that we would hear his voice.

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 And that's our prayer every Sunday.

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 And so it's with that that we come to 1 Peter.

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 We're all the way in chapter 3 now,

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 and we're going to be starting at verse 1.

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 And as we come to this, remember that this is God's word.

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 And God tells us that his word is more precious than gold,

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 even the finest gold,

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 and that it is sweeter than honey,

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 even honey that comes straight from the honeycomb.

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 And so that's why we read now,

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 starting in chapter 3, verse 1.

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 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

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 so that even if some do not obey the word,

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 they may be won without a word

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 by the conduct of their wives.

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 When they see your respectful and pure conduct.

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 Verse 3.

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 Do not let your adorning be external,

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 the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry,

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 or the clothing you wear,

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 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart

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 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

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 which in God's sight is very precious.

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 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God

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 used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands.

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 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

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 And you are her children if you do good

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 and do not fear anything that is frightening.

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 I invite you to pray with me as we come to this portion of God's word.

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 Father in heaven, we thank you that our hope is in you,

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 and our hope is that you speak clearly to us through your word.

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 We thank you that you speak clearly to us

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 about the hope and confidence we have in Jesus Christ

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 and his sacrifice on our behalf.

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 And we also thank you that you haven't left us alone

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 to wonder how to live,

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 but you've given us your word to speak.

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 And so we ask that you would speak clearly to us,

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 that we would understand what it is that you want us to know

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 and to believe and to live.

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 And we ask these things not because we have earned them or deserve them,

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 but because Jesus has earned them and deserve them for us.

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 And so we ask them in his name.

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 Amen.

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 I want you to imagine with me for a little bit.

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 So I was a classics major in college,

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 which means I studied a lot about ancient Greece and Rome.

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 And this is a letter that's written to people,

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 as I've mentioned before,

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 who are living in the Roman Empire in the first century.

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 And I just want you to imagine this letter was written in the 60s A.D.

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 And I want you to imagine there's a man.

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 His name is Cassius, and Cassius is living in the 50s A.D.

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 And Cassius meets this woman, and they fall in love.

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 Her name's Lydia.

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 And they have just a wonderful marriage.

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 Cassius and Lydia, they are on the same page about worshiping the emperor.

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 They understand kind of the logic, right?

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 The greater someone is, the more worthy they are of worship.

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 She understands her role in the household,

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 and they're also good with the household gods.

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 So she follows him and the ways he leads worship,

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 not just out in the temples, but also in their household with the gods.

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 And she understands the importance of the local gods,

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 and she understands the importance of Jupiter and all the different ways.

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 But there comes a point in their marriage where things get a little difficult.

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 So maybe let's say they marry in 52 A.D.

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 And word comes to this town, whichever town it is in Asia Minor,

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 about this man named Jesus.

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 Now, Cassius isn't convinced.

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 He thinks this is silly.

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 Everyone knows you don't worship a Jewish man,

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 and not just a Jewish man, but a Jewish man who died on a cross.

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 However, Lydia is interested.

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 And as Lydia comes to learn more about Jesus,

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 she realizes this is actually something she believes.

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 She's been hearing from these people about the fact that Jesus died,

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 and not only did he die, he actually rose again from the dead,

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 and that he offers forgiveness of sins.

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 And this is something that she's wondered about for a long time.

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 How can the gods actually help her with the things that she feels guilty for,

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 and how can they help her to have true change?

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 And so Lydia actually converts to Christianity.

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 Now, this puts Cassius in a terrible situation,

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 because, of course, he's a good Roman man,

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 and like any good Roman man, as everyone knows,

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 it's the wife's job to worship the gods of the husband.

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 And so people start to talk about him and his marriage.

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 Now, have you heard about Cassius and Lydia?

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 I mean, she doesn't even go to worship the gods with him anymore.

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 Can you imagine?

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 Yeah, I'm so glad that my wife understands the importance

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 of really honoring the emperor.

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 And I just can't imagine.

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 I mean, you know, it's women these days.

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 They don't understand that you have to worship

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 the most powerful man available.

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 And obviously, this man who died on a cross, he's a joke.

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 I mean, not only did he live as just a middle-class person,

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 but he died the worst death possible.

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 I mean, how ignorant do you have to be

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 to worship someone like that?

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 There's this talk maybe going around.

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 There's something subversive.

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 There's a sense in which Lydia's being rebellious.

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 She's refusing to worship the gods.

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 She's going out to these Christian worship services,

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 and potentially, Cassius is wondering,

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 what does she do?

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 Is she looking for another spouse?

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 How do I know that she's going to be pure in her conduct

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 when she's out in the house?

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 I'm certainly not going to go hang out with the Christians.

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 I wouldn't be caught dead, seen with a group like that.

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 However, he ends up talking about it with his friend, Marcellus.

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 Now, Marcellus has a wife named Cassia.

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 And Marcellus is a great confidant.

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 You know, Cassius feels really ashamed

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 because he can't get his wife to worship his gods.

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 It makes him feel like less of a man.

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 It's like he can't run his household well.

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 And Marcellus, you know, sympathizes with him.

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 He's like, I'm so glad that my wife worships the gods.

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 She doesn't have a problem with this.

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 Like, she understands the logic of the world.

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 We worship powerful men.

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 We worship emperors.

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 There's more than one God, too.

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 The Christians, they believe this crazy thing

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 that there's only one God, and it doesn't even make sense.

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 However, Marcellus has noticed something.

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 He said, I feel your frustration.

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 I can only imagine how frustrating it would be

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 to be married to a woman who wouldn't come

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 to worship Jupiter with me.

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 However, I've been talking to my wife,

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 and she said a lot of things about your wife

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 have really changed.

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 You know, it used to be when your wife would show up

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 to hang out with the other women,

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 she would tell them every mistake you had made.

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 And she would share about kind of,

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 I mean, I even knew some of the stuff.

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 Do you remember that time we talked?

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 Yeah, you remember that.

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 We won't talk about that.

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 And not only that, you know,

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 she used to be spending all your money

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 on these fine clothes and going out.

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 And it seems like, I mean,

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 it seems like she's really been working hard

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 to just be the best spouse possible.

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 So on the one hand, like,

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 I can kind of understand your struggle,

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 but then there are times,

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 don't tell anyone I said this to you.

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 There are times I wonder,

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 maybe I want a Christian wife, too.

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 Now, I wouldn't say that publicly.

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 I wouldn't say it publicly.

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 But, you know, my wife is still going out,

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 and when she, I mean,

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 we're having all this conflict,

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 and she still, every time we have an argument,

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 she goes out and she tells everyone about it.

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 I mean, on the one hand, you're dishonored

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 because your wife won't worship the gods with you.

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 On the other hand, I'm dishonored

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 just because of my wife's behavior.

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 I mean, she just, I'm trying,

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 but it's not been working.

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 That is the situation that this passage is addressing.

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 We've talked about the fact that the Christians

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 who are receiving this letter

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 feel out of place in the world.

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 Some of them don't just feel out of place in the world.

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 They feel out of place in their marriages,

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 and they feel out of place in their marriages

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 because they are married to men who are not Christians,

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 and being married to a man who's not a Christian

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 and practicing as a Christian means

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 that what they're doing looks like

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 they're being rebellious to their husbands,

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 and so Peter's giving them advice

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 in the same way that he's given everyone advice

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 about how to interact with the government,

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 in the same way that he's given slaves advice

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 about how to interact with masters,

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 he's also giving these women advice

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 about how to interact with their non-Christian husbands.

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 How can you give honor and glory to God in your marriage?

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 That's the specific context here.

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 Now, he is addressing all women generally.

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 He says in verse one,

00:12:36.920 --> 00:12:38.279
 wives, be subject to your husbands.

00:12:38.340 --> 00:12:39.399
 He's addressing all wives,

00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:39.939
 but then he says,

00:12:40.079 --> 00:12:42.759
 so that even if some do not obey the word,

00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:43.819
 in other words, they're not Christians,

00:12:44.100 --> 00:12:45.899
 they may be one without a word.

00:12:46.939 --> 00:12:49.319
 The goal then, the goal that he's focusing on,

00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:50.480
 even though he's talking to Christian,

00:12:50.980 --> 00:12:52.720
 women who are married to Christians and non-Christians,

00:12:52.779 --> 00:12:54.399
 his goal here is to talking to women

00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:55.439
 married to non-Christians.

00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.699
 This is how they're going to win their husbands for Christ.

00:13:00.379 --> 00:13:02.459
 This is going along with 1 Peter 2.12.

00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:04.539
 This is the good deeds that they're gonna act out.

00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:07.360
 They're gonna lead people to honor and glorify God.

00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.519
 Now, of course, this doesn't just happen

00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:12.399
 in the ancient Roman world.

00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:13.600
 It also happens today.

00:13:14.500 --> 00:13:15.720
 About 10 years ago,

00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:18.759
 I went on a mission trip for a summer to Ireland,

00:13:18.980 --> 00:13:20.639
 and one of the things they had us do

00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:21.620
 while we were working at this church

00:13:21.620 --> 00:13:22.659
 is they said, you know,

00:13:22.700 --> 00:13:24.700
 we really want you to have lunch

00:13:24.700 --> 00:13:25.940
 with a different family every Sunday

00:13:25.940 --> 00:13:27.560
 so you get to know different people in the church.

00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:30.480
 And one Sunday, we went over to lunch,

00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.980
 and there was something kind of strange in the air.

00:13:34.460 --> 00:13:35.320
 We are at this house,

00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:36.860
 this man and this woman,

00:13:37.760 --> 00:13:38.840
 and the man just,

00:13:39.140 --> 00:13:40.280
 he seemed angry.

00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:42.300
 He seemed, he was just mean.

00:13:42.580 --> 00:13:44.320
 I mean, he started making fun of Americans.

00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:46.480
 He told us, you know, in America,

00:13:46.660 --> 00:13:48.420
 I hear they only drink blue milk,

00:13:48.500 --> 00:13:49.440
 not white milk.

00:13:49.879 --> 00:13:51.320
 We're like, we don't know what that is.

00:13:51.860 --> 00:13:53.180
 We've never heard of blue milk before.

00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:54.180
 I mean, the man was annoyed.

00:13:54.820 --> 00:13:55.640
 And we found out later,

00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:56.640
 this man wasn't a Christian.

00:13:57.080 --> 00:13:58.320
 Here's his Christian wife

00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:01.340
 trying to show hospitality to her church,

00:14:01.340 --> 00:14:03.840
 kind of against what her husband would like.

00:14:05.540 --> 00:14:07.360
 And later, the pastor shared with us

00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:08.000
 that this is common.

00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:08.800
 It's common in Europe

00:14:08.800 --> 00:14:10.620
 because like many places in the world,

00:14:10.680 --> 00:14:12.420
 there's a shortage of marriageable Christian men.

00:14:12.500 --> 00:14:13.379
 And so there's a temptation,

00:14:13.540 --> 00:14:14.820
 as we talked about in Nehemiah,

00:14:15.320 --> 00:14:16.019
 for a woman saying,

00:14:16.139 --> 00:14:17.399
 well, I'm either not gonna be married

00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:18.759
 or I'm gonna be married to a non-Christian.

00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:21.139
 And so this is a live situation.

00:14:21.240 --> 00:14:22.840
 It's a live situation in the ancient world,

00:14:22.899 --> 00:14:24.360
 and it's also a live situation today.

00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:25.340
 And so that is

00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:28.879
 the context that Peter's writing to.

00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:30.480
 He's writing to people who are disadvantaged.

00:14:31.220 --> 00:14:32.179
 So he's written to slaves.

00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:33.939
 Now he's writing to these wives,

00:14:34.019 --> 00:14:35.279
 and they're disadvantaged as well.

00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:36.480
 They're in a bad position.

00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:39.039
 They're in a bad position

00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:40.860
 because they're married to a non-Christian.

00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:44.759
 They're in a bad position culturally.

00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:46.639
 Culturally, the expectation is,

00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:49.899
 obviously, you worship the gods of your husband.

00:14:51.019 --> 00:14:52.820
 And they're in a bad position

00:14:52.820 --> 00:14:54.059
 partially because of their sex.

00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:56.500
 They just have less influence in the family

00:14:56.500 --> 00:14:57.399
 than their husband does.

00:14:57.399 --> 00:14:59.759
 And so Peter's giving them advice

00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:01.199
 about how they should live

00:15:01.199 --> 00:15:03.480
 in that difficult situation.

00:15:03.740 --> 00:15:05.519
 Just like slaves,

00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:07.740
 just like people who are under the authority

00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:08.279
 of the government,

00:15:08.419 --> 00:15:10.079
 they too also have to find a way

00:15:10.079 --> 00:15:11.500
 to be subversive.

00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:13.879
 Remember I said last week,

00:15:14.360 --> 00:15:16.139
 Christianity's not revolutionary,

00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:16.860
 it's radical.

00:15:17.620 --> 00:15:18.399
 And so they have to find a way

00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:19.759
 to be radical in their marriages

00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:20.799
 without being revolutionary.

00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:23.579
 At the same time,

00:15:24.259 --> 00:15:25.279
 deep breath, by the way.

00:15:27.599 --> 00:15:28.379
 At the same time,

00:15:28.439 --> 00:15:29.620
 this is a passage that he's writing,

00:15:29.859 --> 00:15:31.159
 not just to these specific women,

00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:32.419
 but to all women who are married.

00:15:32.459 --> 00:15:33.959
 And he's telling them how to interact,

00:15:34.059 --> 00:15:35.259
 not just with any man, right?

00:15:35.319 --> 00:15:36.620
 Verse one, but your own husbands.

00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:38.839
 Now, you might be thinking at this point,

00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:40.339
 well, Matthew, that's great.

00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:42.579
 You explained to us last week

00:15:42.579 --> 00:15:45.599
 how Peter wasn't actually advocating for slavery.

00:15:45.959 --> 00:15:46.939
 He was just telling them

00:15:46.939 --> 00:15:48.179
 how to operate within slavery.

00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:49.699
 Hear what you're saying there,

00:15:49.739 --> 00:15:50.599
 and I hear what you're saying here.

00:15:50.679 --> 00:15:52.059
 He's not actually advocating

00:15:52.059 --> 00:15:53.699
 for there being any kind of hierarchy

00:15:53.699 --> 00:15:55.059
 of authority in marriage.

00:15:55.099 --> 00:15:55.819
 He's just telling them

00:15:55.819 --> 00:15:56.919
 this is the way it is culturally,

00:15:57.099 --> 00:15:57.579
 and they also,

00:15:57.699 --> 00:15:58.959
 just like slavery was wrong,

00:15:59.419 --> 00:16:01.839
 they need to operate within this wrong system.

00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:04.399
 There's only two problems at that.

00:16:04.939 --> 00:16:05.779
 Problem number one,

00:16:05.859 --> 00:16:07.539
 he actually addresses all wives here.

00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:10.000
 He says, verse one,

00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:12.379
 wives, some of you have husbands

00:16:12.379 --> 00:16:13.179
 who don't obey the word.

00:16:14.079 --> 00:16:14.799
 And then secondly,

00:16:14.939 --> 00:16:15.879
 in the book of Ephesians,

00:16:16.219 --> 00:16:17.120
 Paul writes,

00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.720
 and he talks about the relationship

00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:19.620
 between men and women

00:16:19.620 --> 00:16:20.480
 who are both Christians.

00:16:20.580 --> 00:16:21.279
 And he talks about it

00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:22.419
 not from a cultural standpoint,

00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:23.919
 but from a theological standpoint.

00:16:25.139 --> 00:16:26.740
 And so we're gonna talk about that this morning.

00:16:27.620 --> 00:16:28.700
 And I'm gonna say up front,

00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:29.899
 this is a challenging topic.

00:16:30.120 --> 00:16:30.860
 And like I say,

00:16:30.899 --> 00:16:32.399
 every time we come to a challenging topic,

00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:34.259
 I'm not gonna say everything,

00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:35.159
 I'm gonna say something.

00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:39.340
 And I'm always happy to talk more afterwards.

00:16:39.460 --> 00:16:40.360
 I understand many of you

00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:41.440
 may disagree with me on this,

00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:43.259
 but this is what God is telling us

00:16:43.259 --> 00:16:44.919
 in his word in 1 Peter chapter three,

00:16:44.980 --> 00:16:45.899
 and so we're gonna jump in.

00:16:47.620 --> 00:16:48.779
 Multiple situations, right?

00:16:48.820 --> 00:16:49.840
 People who are married to Christians,

00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:51.299
 people who are married to non-Christians.

00:16:52.560 --> 00:16:53.879
 God teaches in his word,

00:16:53.960 --> 00:16:54.740
 God has set up,

00:16:54.779 --> 00:16:55.879
 in the way that he set up the world,

00:16:55.960 --> 00:16:57.960
 he set up a chain of command in the family.

00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:03.220
 God has given responsibility to lead his family.

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:05.140
 That's why it says here in verse one,

00:17:05.259 --> 00:17:06.160
 your own husband.

00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.339
 His wife is his closest

00:17:10.339 --> 00:17:13.200
 and most valued ally in that leadership.

00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:16.779
 However, that leadership ultimately falls

00:17:16.779 --> 00:17:17.860
 on the shoulders of the husband.

00:17:18.860 --> 00:17:21.660
 And so it's not a leader-follower situation.

00:17:21.860 --> 00:17:22.660
 Don't think of it that way.

00:17:22.740 --> 00:17:24.319
 I don't think there's some truth to that.

00:17:24.380 --> 00:17:25.600
 I don't think that's the most helpful way

00:17:25.600 --> 00:17:26.240
 to think about it.

00:17:26.700 --> 00:17:28.140
 There's some terms that have come out now

00:17:28.140 --> 00:17:29.779
 in leadership theories and books

00:17:29.779 --> 00:17:31.460
 where people will talk about first chair leaders

00:17:31.460 --> 00:17:32.640
 and second chair leaders,

00:17:33.220 --> 00:17:35.019
 which means often there's two leaders.

00:17:35.460 --> 00:17:37.240
 One of them has ultimate responsibility,

00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:39.080
 but the other one has tremendous power

00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:40.319
 and responsibility as well.

00:17:40.819 --> 00:17:42.559
 So you could think about a president

00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:43.259
 and a vice president.

00:17:43.379 --> 00:17:44.500
 You could think about a pastor

00:17:44.500 --> 00:17:45.339
 and an assistant pastor.

00:17:45.439 --> 00:17:48.339
 You could think about a major versus a colonel

00:17:48.339 --> 00:17:49.480
 or a major versus a captain.

00:17:49.639 --> 00:17:52.279
 There's leadership involved with everyone.

00:17:53.220 --> 00:17:54.579
 However, there's someone

00:17:54.579 --> 00:17:55.960
 who also has greater authority

00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:57.919
 and greater responsibility.

00:17:58.460 --> 00:17:59.379
 Both of those are true.

00:18:00.339 --> 00:18:01.879
 So, and I'm not gonna use

00:18:01.879 --> 00:18:03.299
 the word complementarian, by the way,

00:18:03.379 --> 00:18:04.359
 because first of all,

00:18:04.399 --> 00:18:05.720
 that's something that didn't even come around

00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:07.500
 and that's a word in a category

00:18:07.500 --> 00:18:10.039
 that wasn't used until the 1970s or 1980s.

00:18:10.420 --> 00:18:11.380
 It's not always helpful.

00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:13.100
 So I'm just gonna talk in terms of leadership.

00:18:13.779 --> 00:18:15.120
 First chair leader, second chair leader.

00:18:15.180 --> 00:18:16.579
 I think that's gonna, first of all,

00:18:16.600 --> 00:18:17.519
 make a little bit more sense

00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:18.660
 and it's gonna help us resolve

00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:19.620
 some of the objections

00:18:19.620 --> 00:18:20.640
 and some of the concerns

00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:22.720
 about what it is the Bible teaches us

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:23.579
 about Christian marriage.

00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:27.579
 Second of all, both people, men and women,

00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:29.160
 have equal value and dignity.

00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:30.380
 And we know this intuitively

00:18:30.380 --> 00:18:31.380
 in leadership positions.

00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:32.180
 When I was a teacher,

00:18:32.779 --> 00:18:33.880
 I had principals over me.

00:18:34.100 --> 00:18:35.019
 They had authority over me.

00:18:35.019 --> 00:18:36.200
 Many of them, most of them were women.

00:18:36.940 --> 00:18:38.740
 I never thought, well, I'm just a teacher

00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:39.879
 and they're a principal.

00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:41.579
 So obviously they have more worth

00:18:41.579 --> 00:18:42.900
 and dignity as a person, right?

00:18:43.799 --> 00:18:44.579
 They had more authority.

00:18:44.779 --> 00:18:46.000
 There's no difference in our worth

00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:46.960
 and dignity as a person.

00:18:47.579 --> 00:18:48.200
 If you're in the military,

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:49.779
 you might think, okay, I'm a captain.

00:18:49.859 --> 00:18:50.559
 This person's a major.

00:18:50.660 --> 00:18:51.759
 That doesn't mean that person

00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:53.299
 has more authority than you do

00:18:53.299 --> 00:18:54.200
 or they have more authority.

00:18:54.279 --> 00:18:55.319
 It doesn't mean they have more dignity

00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:56.240
 or value than you do.

00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:58.759
 And so that's the idea

00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:00.879
 that the Bible that gives us,

00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:02.740
 the model that the Bible gives us for marriage.

00:19:02.740 --> 00:19:03.420
 It's a family.

00:19:05.019 --> 00:19:06.500
 God's given responsibility

00:19:06.500 --> 00:19:08.059
 and authority to the husband.

00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:10.539
 By the way, it's not just authority,

00:19:10.660 --> 00:19:11.240
 it's responsibility.

00:19:11.460 --> 00:19:13.319
 Remember in Genesis, very beginning,

00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:14.740
 Adam and Eve sin.

00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:17.519
 Who does God go to talk to first?

00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:21.019
 Goes and talks to Adam.

00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:25.920
 Adam, what have you done?

00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:30.300
 So there's two sides to this coin, right?

00:19:30.320 --> 00:19:32.340
 It's not just, okay,

00:19:33.019 --> 00:19:35.039
 this man has more authority in the household.

00:19:35.360 --> 00:19:37.140
 Also, this man's gonna have to answer to God

00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:39.039
 for how he leads his household.

00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:40.880
 By the way, we're gonna talk about that next week.

00:19:41.300 --> 00:19:42.940
 I've saved, this is gonna be next week,

00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.539
 the first time at this church

00:19:44.539 --> 00:19:46.320
 I've ever preached a whole sermon on one verse.

00:19:48.460 --> 00:19:49.259
 So if you're wondering

00:19:49.259 --> 00:19:50.560
 why we're just talking about wives,

00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:51.580
 just wait for next week.

00:19:51.579 --> 00:19:56.079
 1 Peter 3, chapter 3, verse 7.

00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:00.559
 God has also set up the family in such a way

00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:03.720
 that men seem to have an extra level

00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:05.099
 of influence and responsibility.

00:20:06.039 --> 00:20:07.419
 Now, you can argue with me about this.

00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:09.699
 There's some secular researchers

00:20:09.699 --> 00:20:10.779
 named John and Julie Gottman

00:20:10.779 --> 00:20:11.899
 who do marriage research.

00:20:12.019 --> 00:20:13.359
 They are not Christians at all.

00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:15.279
 They're just observing what happens in relationships.

00:20:15.819 --> 00:20:16.899
 Part of their finding is

00:20:16.899 --> 00:20:18.539
 relationships rise and fall

00:20:18.539 --> 00:20:20.680
 ultimately based on what the man does.

00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:22.420
 Doesn't mean women don't have influence

00:20:22.420 --> 00:20:23.139
 and responsibility.

00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:25.680
 Just means that men have

00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:27.159
 an extra level of influence.

00:20:28.619 --> 00:20:29.579
 If you don't believe me,

00:20:29.639 --> 00:20:30.460
 ask someone who's married.

00:20:30.659 --> 00:20:31.500
 Ask a wife who's married

00:20:31.500 --> 00:20:32.599
 who's tried to get her family

00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:33.500
 to head in a different direction

00:20:33.500 --> 00:20:34.740
 but her husband doesn't agree with her.

00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:36.039
 Okay?

00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:37.359
 If you don't believe me, just ask.

00:20:42.859 --> 00:20:44.519
 So that's the baseline.

00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:45.619
 So another deep breath.

00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:51.220
 Then we have to talk about this

00:20:51.220 --> 00:20:52.559
 that raises all kinds of questions, right?

00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:53.339
 What does this mean?

00:20:53.399 --> 00:20:54.139
 What does it not mean?

00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:57.480
 There are two ways we can err on this.

00:20:57.599 --> 00:20:58.500
 One way we can err

00:20:58.500 --> 00:21:00.200
 is we can make it mean

00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:01.759
 something really strange and weird.

00:21:03.379 --> 00:21:04.500
 The other way we can err

00:21:04.500 --> 00:21:05.940
 is by making it mean nothing at all

00:21:05.940 --> 00:21:06.740
 and explaining it away.

00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:08.920
 So first of all, what does it not mean?

00:21:09.059 --> 00:21:10.899
 Let's avoid it being strange and weird.

00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:13.099
 It does not mean

00:21:13.099 --> 00:21:15.359
 there are no boundaries in a marriage.

00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:19.119
 If you don't know what I'm talking about,

00:21:19.199 --> 00:21:20.979
 there's a wonderful series of books

00:21:20.979 --> 00:21:22.459
 by a man named John Townsend

00:21:22.459 --> 00:21:24.139
 and a man named Henry Cloud

00:21:24.139 --> 00:21:25.299
 who've written a book called Boundaries.

00:21:25.379 --> 00:21:26.059
 They wrote another book

00:21:26.059 --> 00:21:27.219
 called Boundaries in Marriage.

00:21:28.159 --> 00:21:29.819
 I strongly encourage everyone

00:21:29.819 --> 00:21:30.599
 to read those books.

00:21:32.659 --> 00:21:33.879
 If you grew up in a family

00:21:33.879 --> 00:21:34.919
 or you were in a marriage

00:21:34.919 --> 00:21:36.099
 where there are not good boundaries,

00:21:36.179 --> 00:21:37.159
 it will be a painful read.

00:21:38.979 --> 00:21:40.019
 And it will be worth it.

00:21:41.059 --> 00:21:42.159
 So this doesn't mean

00:21:42.159 --> 00:21:42.899
 there aren't boundaries.

00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:43.640
 And this is part of why

00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:44.519
 I'm gonna talk in terms of

00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:45.360
 first chair leaders

00:21:45.360 --> 00:21:46.080
 and second chair leaders.

00:21:46.360 --> 00:21:48.340
 Like in any leadership situation,

00:21:48.340 --> 00:21:49.140
 just because someone

00:21:49.140 --> 00:21:49.820
 has more authority

00:21:49.820 --> 00:21:50.720
 doesn't mean they don't have

00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:51.600
 boundaries around them.

00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:53.860
 Okay, so it doesn't mean that.

00:21:55.320 --> 00:21:56.620
 It's be subject to.

00:21:57.019 --> 00:21:58.400
 It's not the word obey.

00:21:59.560 --> 00:22:00.320
 So in the Bible,

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.340
 when it addresses children,

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:02.680
 it tells children you need to obey.

00:22:03.460 --> 00:22:03.980
 It tells wives,

00:22:04.060 --> 00:22:05.040
 be subject to your husband.

00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:05.800
 Different word.

00:22:06.280 --> 00:22:07.200
 Not the same thing.

00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:10.240
 Finally, this goes along.

00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:11.860
 Well, not finally.

00:22:11.859 --> 00:22:13.159
 We're going all along the list.

00:22:14.039 --> 00:22:15.199
 This is in the list of boundaries.

00:22:15.339 --> 00:22:17.059
 It doesn't mean you never say no.

00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:19.240
 Again, if you're a wife.

00:22:19.919 --> 00:22:20.639
 One of the great things

00:22:20.639 --> 00:22:21.299
 about this passage

00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:21.919
 is at the end,

00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:22.979
 it tells us that Sarah

00:22:22.979 --> 00:22:23.779
 is our model.

00:22:25.199 --> 00:22:26.099
 Now, if you're familiar

00:22:26.099 --> 00:22:26.719
 with the story

00:22:26.719 --> 00:22:27.439
 of the Old Testament,

00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:29.019
 you know that Sarah

00:22:29.019 --> 00:22:31.179
 was not a mousy little yes woman.

00:22:32.919 --> 00:22:34.339
 In fact, there were times

00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:36.459
 that Sarah told Abraham no.

00:22:37.919 --> 00:22:38.659
 Now, there are,

00:22:39.379 --> 00:22:39.959
 we're gonna have to,

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:40.699
 you're gonna have to work

00:22:40.700 --> 00:22:41.539
 with me a little bit culturally

00:22:41.539 --> 00:22:42.420
 because this is something

00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:43.740
 that we don't struggle with today

00:22:43.740 --> 00:22:44.759
 but that people struggle with

00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:45.700
 in the ancient Near East.

00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:46.460
 So just go with me.

00:22:47.080 --> 00:22:47.980
 In the ancient Near East,

00:22:48.080 --> 00:22:49.279
 whether you can believe it or not,

00:22:50.100 --> 00:22:51.580
 sometimes husbands and wives

00:22:51.580 --> 00:22:52.519
 would have disagreements

00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:53.600
 about the appropriate way

00:22:53.600 --> 00:22:54.340
 to raise their children.

00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:57.160
 Now, I know that doesn't happen anymore

00:22:57.160 --> 00:22:59.039
 but it happened with Abraham and Sarah.

00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:01.759
 And at one point

00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:02.860
 in Genesis chapter 21,

00:23:02.980 --> 00:23:03.819
 you can go read it later,

00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:05.059
 Abraham and Sarah

00:23:05.059 --> 00:23:05.960
 have a disagreement

00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:08.120
 about how to raise their kids.

00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:11.979
 Sarah basically tells Abraham no.

00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:13.539
 Now, you're gonna want,

00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:14.639
 wives, you're gonna wanna write

00:23:14.639 --> 00:23:15.159
 this one down.

00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:17.919
 Genesis 21, 12,

00:23:18.019 --> 00:23:18.639
 this is your verse.

00:23:19.419 --> 00:23:20.399
 God comes to Abraham

00:23:20.399 --> 00:23:21.279
 and he says,

00:23:21.919 --> 00:23:22.739
 and I quote,

00:23:23.699 --> 00:23:25.099
 whatever Sarah says to you,

00:23:25.619 --> 00:23:26.599
 do as she tells you.

00:23:31.059 --> 00:23:32.500
 I took that out of context.

00:23:33.439 --> 00:23:34.199
 There's your verse.

00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:36.980
 Now, sometimes Abraham

00:23:36.980 --> 00:23:38.360
 needed to tell Sarah no

00:23:38.360 --> 00:23:39.019
 and he didn't.

00:23:40.980 --> 00:23:42.240
 If you read the story of Genesis,

00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:42.720
 you know,

00:23:43.360 --> 00:23:44.279
 there's a time when Sarah

00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:44.960
 came to Abraham

00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:45.860
 and she gave him this idea.

00:23:45.940 --> 00:23:46.680
 It was not a good idea

00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:47.240
 and he did it

00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:48.140
 and it didn't end well.

00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:52.360
 Peter, as we've talked about,

00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:53.940
 was deeply flawed and imperfect.

00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.900
 Sarah and Abraham's marriage

00:23:56.900 --> 00:23:58.360
 was also deeply flawed

00:23:58.360 --> 00:23:59.100
 and imperfect.

00:23:59.099 --> 00:24:01.759
 And Peter says,

00:24:01.959 --> 00:24:03.199
 if you wanna know

00:24:03.199 --> 00:24:04.559
 what this looks like,

00:24:04.699 --> 00:24:05.279
 look to Sarah.

00:24:06.899 --> 00:24:07.859
 So it doesn't mean

00:24:07.859 --> 00:24:08.639
 there aren't any boundaries.

00:24:09.679 --> 00:24:10.319
 It doesn't mean

00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:11.039
 you don't say no.

00:24:11.179 --> 00:24:11.459
 It doesn't,

00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:12.500
 and also does not mean

00:24:12.500 --> 00:24:13.399
 you put up with abuse.

00:24:14.719 --> 00:24:16.279
 Okay, we don't use this passage

00:24:16.279 --> 00:24:17.439
 in any way

00:24:17.439 --> 00:24:18.319
 to justify abuse

00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:18.919
 and I'm gonna give you

00:24:18.919 --> 00:24:19.719
 strong arguments

00:24:19.719 --> 00:24:20.740
 from various sides.

00:24:20.839 --> 00:24:21.359
 First of all,

00:24:21.699 --> 00:24:23.119
 we've already talked about abuse

00:24:23.119 --> 00:24:24.480
 in this book.

00:24:25.199 --> 00:24:26.379
 The very previous section,

00:24:26.500 --> 00:24:27.500
 the assumption is

00:24:27.500 --> 00:24:28.960
 that slaves are actually

00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:29.799
 going to be abused.

00:24:30.539 --> 00:24:31.220
 Remember he says,

00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:32.700
 you might be beaten unjustly.

00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:34.599
 That doesn't appear

00:24:34.599 --> 00:24:35.160
 in this section

00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:37.599
 because even the pagans know

00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:38.839
 abuse isn't okay.

00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:44.680
 Second of all,

00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:45.559
 tolerating abuse

00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:46.220
 doesn't make you

00:24:46.220 --> 00:24:46.880
 a good follower.

00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:51.339
 There's a passage

00:24:51.339 --> 00:24:52.579
 later in this book

00:24:52.579 --> 00:24:53.500
 where it says,

00:24:53.539 --> 00:24:54.900
 it uses the same exact word

00:24:54.900 --> 00:24:55.240
 and it says,

00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:55.960
 young men,

00:24:56.299 --> 00:24:57.480
 be subject to the elders.

00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:59.759
 Now, if you saw

00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:00.480
 one of our elders

00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:01.559
 and there was a young man

00:25:01.559 --> 00:25:02.380
 and that elder

00:25:02.380 --> 00:25:03.740
 was just yelling at him

00:25:03.740 --> 00:25:04.400
 and then the elder

00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:05.160
 got so angry

00:25:05.160 --> 00:25:06.200
 that he punched the wall

00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:07.519
 and the drywall went in,

00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:08.660
 you wouldn't say,

00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:10.160
 yeah, you just need

00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:11.160
 to be subject to that.

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:12.460
 Man, that person's

00:25:12.460 --> 00:25:13.819
 doing such a good job

00:25:13.819 --> 00:25:14.920
 being subject to the elders.

00:25:16.099 --> 00:25:16.900
 No, you would say,

00:25:16.980 --> 00:25:17.619
 that's ridiculous.

00:25:17.819 --> 00:25:19.240
 That person has no boundaries, right?

00:25:23.539 --> 00:25:24.920
 So this is not a passage,

00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:25.559
 I'm just gonna camp out

00:25:25.559 --> 00:25:26.099
 on this for a second,

00:25:26.099 --> 00:25:27.000
 and this is not a passage

00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:27.959
 that means stay

00:25:27.959 --> 00:25:29.059
 in an abusive situation.

00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:30.879
 That's why I'm using

00:25:30.879 --> 00:25:31.759
 these leadership terms

00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:32.959
 because that wouldn't make sense

00:25:32.959 --> 00:25:34.519
 in any other leadership situation.

00:25:35.399 --> 00:25:36.439
 We talked last week,

00:25:36.459 --> 00:25:37.480
 I said, be a good employee.

00:25:38.119 --> 00:25:39.279
 No one in their right mind

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:39.619
 would say,

00:25:39.740 --> 00:25:40.839
 yeah, one of the best ways

00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:42.039
 you can be a good employee

00:25:42.039 --> 00:25:43.579
 and witness for Jesus

00:25:43.579 --> 00:25:44.719
 is by just putting up

00:25:44.719 --> 00:25:45.659
 with whatever abuse

00:25:45.659 --> 00:25:46.839
 your employer throws at you.

00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:49.859
 Same thing's true

00:25:49.859 --> 00:25:50.500
 in this situation.

00:25:50.619 --> 00:25:51.399
 Whatever makes sense

00:25:51.399 --> 00:25:52.679
 in another leadership situation,

00:25:52.779 --> 00:25:53.859
 apply it to this situation.

00:25:53.859 --> 00:25:55.819
 That helps us get out

00:25:55.819 --> 00:25:58.139
 of some of the strange questions

00:25:58.139 --> 00:25:59.339
 that come up with these things.

00:26:01.439 --> 00:26:02.719
 Okay, and people always ask

00:26:02.719 --> 00:26:03.959
 all kinds of questions now.

00:26:04.059 --> 00:26:04.719
 Okay, how does this apply

00:26:04.719 --> 00:26:05.299
 in real life?

00:26:05.719 --> 00:26:06.539
 Does this mean

00:26:06.539 --> 00:26:08.240
 that the husband has to do X

00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:09.599
 and the wife has to do X

00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:11.799
 and this person can only do this

00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:13.139
 and this person can only do that?

00:26:14.019 --> 00:26:14.779
 I'm not gonna answer

00:26:14.779 --> 00:26:15.500
 all those questions,

00:26:15.899 --> 00:26:16.500
 I'm just gonna give you

00:26:16.500 --> 00:26:17.339
 the same paradigm.

00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:20.500
 What would be appropriate

00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:22.899
 in any other leadership situation

00:26:22.899 --> 00:26:24.059
 where there's a first chair leader

00:26:24.059 --> 00:26:24.879
 and a second chair leader?

00:26:26.639 --> 00:26:27.699
 Does this mean,

00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:28.839
 people ask this,

00:26:28.919 --> 00:26:29.659
 does this mean

00:26:29.659 --> 00:26:30.299
 that the husband

00:26:30.299 --> 00:26:31.759
 has to manage the finances?

00:26:32.579 --> 00:26:33.459
 I'm not gonna answer

00:26:33.459 --> 00:26:34.319
 that question for you.

00:26:34.779 --> 00:26:35.419
 Is that something

00:26:35.419 --> 00:26:36.099
 that's required

00:26:36.099 --> 00:26:38.179
 in any other leadership situation

00:26:38.179 --> 00:26:39.659
 with a first chair leader

00:26:39.659 --> 00:26:40.500
 and a second chair leader?

00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:42.740
 I'll let you figure that out

00:26:42.740 --> 00:26:43.119
 on your own.

00:26:43.500 --> 00:26:44.039
 By the way,

00:26:44.399 --> 00:26:45.419
 Peter doesn't tell these people

00:26:45.419 --> 00:26:46.519
 exactly what it looks like.

00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:47.619
 He leaves it to them

00:26:47.619 --> 00:26:48.160
 to figure out

00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:48.779
 how to be subject

00:26:48.779 --> 00:26:49.539
 to their own husbands.

00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:53.660
 So that's all,

00:26:53.779 --> 00:26:54.720
 that's what it doesn't mean.

00:26:56.119 --> 00:26:57.099
 So one temptation

00:26:57.099 --> 00:26:57.900
 is to make it seem,

00:26:58.059 --> 00:26:59.000
 mean something very weird

00:26:59.000 --> 00:26:59.619
 and very strange.

00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:01.059
 The other temptation

00:27:01.059 --> 00:27:01.980
 is to make it mean

00:27:01.980 --> 00:27:02.819
 nothing at all.

00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:05.180
 Except Peter actually says,

00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:06.940
 be subject to your husbands.

00:27:07.859 --> 00:27:08.859
 So what does it mean?

00:27:08.900 --> 00:27:10.819
 It means be the best ally

00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:11.519
 that you can.

00:27:11.660 --> 00:27:13.000
 Be the best second chair leader

00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:13.559
 that you can

00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:14.500
 to a first chair leader.

00:27:14.500 --> 00:27:16.420
 Support,

00:27:16.539 --> 00:27:17.099
 this goes back

00:27:17.099 --> 00:27:17.759
 to what we talked about

00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:18.759
 last week with employers,

00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:20.220
 support the leadership

00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:21.019
 of your husband

00:27:21.019 --> 00:27:22.519
 as much as possible

00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:23.599
 within reason.

00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:26.720
 Support the leadership

00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:27.339
 of your husband

00:27:27.339 --> 00:27:28.359
 as much as you can

00:27:28.359 --> 00:27:28.940
 as possible

00:27:28.940 --> 00:27:29.619
 within reason.

00:27:30.220 --> 00:27:30.460
 Second,

00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:31.059
 the authority

00:27:31.059 --> 00:27:32.019
 that God gives to husbands

00:27:32.019 --> 00:27:32.799
 is a real authority.

00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:35.259
 There might come a time

00:27:35.259 --> 00:27:36.119
 in your marriage

00:27:36.119 --> 00:27:37.339
 where you guys disagree.

00:27:37.339 --> 00:27:41.079
 And godliness means

00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:42.119
 you're going to move forward

00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:42.659
 as a couple

00:27:42.659 --> 00:27:44.699
 without sabotaging

00:27:44.699 --> 00:27:45.279
 your husband,

00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:47.000
 without undermining him.

00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:48.799
 And Peter tells us

00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:49.679
 that kind of action

00:27:49.679 --> 00:27:51.319
 is so powerful

00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:53.980
 that it could call someone

00:27:53.980 --> 00:27:55.059
 who's not a Christian

00:27:55.059 --> 00:27:56.720
 to come to know Jesus.

00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:00.519
 Imagine how much more powerful

00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:01.439
 it is when your spouse

00:28:01.439 --> 00:28:02.539
 already knows Jesus.

00:28:02.539 --> 00:28:06.799
 So it doesn't mean

00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:08.139
 we put up with abuse,

00:28:08.220 --> 00:28:08.779
 there's no boundaries,

00:28:08.859 --> 00:28:09.480
 we don't say no.

00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:11.039
 It also means

00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.500
 support your husband's leadership

00:28:12.500 --> 00:28:13.379
 as much as possible.

00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:15.819
 And sometimes

00:28:15.819 --> 00:28:16.500
 there will be times

00:28:16.500 --> 00:28:17.159
 when you disagree

00:28:17.159 --> 00:28:17.899
 and there has to be

00:28:17.899 --> 00:28:18.779
 a decision that's made.

00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:21.180
 In your disagreement,

00:28:21.379 --> 00:28:22.000
 support your husband

00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:22.799
 as much as possible.

00:28:24.639 --> 00:28:25.220
 Now again,

00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:26.139
 like we said last week

00:28:26.139 --> 00:28:26.720
 and previous weeks,

00:28:26.779 --> 00:28:27.579
 it doesn't mean you do things

00:28:27.579 --> 00:28:28.220
 that are immoral,

00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:29.599
 unethical,

00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:31.099
 that goes along

00:28:31.099 --> 00:28:32.240
 with the boundaries conversation.

00:28:35.240 --> 00:28:36.219
 But that's what Peter's

00:28:36.219 --> 00:28:36.859
 talking about here

00:28:36.859 --> 00:28:37.539
 when he says,

00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:38.959
 verse one,

00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:40.399
 be subject to your own husbands

00:28:40.399 --> 00:28:43.319
 so that they may be won

00:28:43.319 --> 00:28:44.079
 without a word.

00:28:44.139 --> 00:28:44.480
 In other words,

00:28:44.500 --> 00:28:45.139
 you're going to win them

00:28:45.139 --> 00:28:45.959
 by your conduct,

00:28:46.279 --> 00:28:47.759
 not by constantly telling them

00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:48.439
 about Christianity.

00:28:50.139 --> 00:28:51.179
 When they see the way

00:28:51.179 --> 00:28:51.699
 that you act.

00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:54.019
 Now we have a lot

00:28:54.019 --> 00:28:54.779
 to talk about this morning

00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:55.439
 and I've already said

00:28:55.439 --> 00:28:56.339
 lots and lots of words,

00:28:56.459 --> 00:28:57.139
 so I'm just going to say

00:28:57.139 --> 00:28:58.019
 a few things briefly

00:28:58.019 --> 00:28:58.740
 about these verses

00:28:58.740 --> 00:28:59.439
 that come next.

00:28:59.959 --> 00:29:00.399
 Verse three,

00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:01.220
 don't let your adorning

00:29:01.220 --> 00:29:01.880
 be external,

00:29:02.500 --> 00:29:03.160
 the braiding of hair,

00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:04.259
 putting on of gold jewelry,

00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:05.740
 the clothing you wear,

00:29:05.840 --> 00:29:06.600
 some translations say

00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:07.280
 fine clothing,

00:29:07.860 --> 00:29:08.620
 but let your adorning

00:29:08.620 --> 00:29:09.320
 be the hidden person

00:29:09.320 --> 00:29:09.860
 of the heart

00:29:09.860 --> 00:29:10.920
 with the imperishable beauty

00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:12.259
 of a gentle and quiet spirit

00:29:12.259 --> 00:29:13.080
 which in God's sight

00:29:13.080 --> 00:29:13.600
 is precious.

00:29:14.380 --> 00:29:15.540
 What all of those things

00:29:15.540 --> 00:29:16.160
 have in common,

00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:16.980
 the fine hair

00:29:16.980 --> 00:29:18.880
 and the gold jewelry

00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:19.360
 and the clothing,

00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:20.180
 all of those things

00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:21.060
 are very expensive.

00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:24.500
 In other words,

00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:26.180
 the focus

00:29:26.180 --> 00:29:27.380
 should not be

00:29:27.380 --> 00:29:28.620
 showing off to other people

00:29:28.620 --> 00:29:29.759
 how much money you have.

00:29:30.759 --> 00:29:31.799
 He's not saying

00:29:31.799 --> 00:29:33.119
 you need to dress

00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:34.379
 as frumpy as possible.

00:29:36.500 --> 00:29:37.299
 He is saying

00:29:37.299 --> 00:29:38.500
 you're in a first century context

00:29:38.500 --> 00:29:39.500
 and there's lots of women

00:29:39.500 --> 00:29:40.339
 who use these things

00:29:40.339 --> 00:29:40.900
 to show off

00:29:40.900 --> 00:29:41.819
 how wealthy they are.

00:29:42.779 --> 00:29:44.220
 That's not what impresses God.

00:29:45.579 --> 00:29:46.099
 In fact,

00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:46.799
 this word here

00:29:46.799 --> 00:29:47.440
 where it says

00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.579
 at the very end

00:29:49.579 --> 00:29:51.099
 of verse four,

00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:51.779
 beauty of a gentle

00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:52.480
 and quiet spirit

00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:53.160
 which in God's sight

00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:53.980
 is very precious.

00:29:54.640 --> 00:29:55.640
 Precious is a hard word

00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:56.019
 in English.

00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:56.799
 What that means

00:29:56.799 --> 00:29:58.119
 actually is very valuable.

00:29:58.119 --> 00:30:00.139
 Don't wear expensive clothes.

00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:01.939
 Have an expensive character

00:30:01.939 --> 00:30:02.879
 is what he's saying.

00:30:04.619 --> 00:30:05.539
 Put your time

00:30:05.539 --> 00:30:06.039
 and your effort

00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:06.779
 and your resources

00:30:06.779 --> 00:30:07.719
 into your character,

00:30:08.159 --> 00:30:09.239
 not into going around

00:30:09.239 --> 00:30:10.019
 and showing off

00:30:10.019 --> 00:30:10.500
 to everyone

00:30:10.500 --> 00:30:11.119
 how much wealth

00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:11.519
 you have.

00:30:14.899 --> 00:30:15.299
 Also,

00:30:15.479 --> 00:30:16.019
 sometimes women

00:30:16.019 --> 00:30:16.959
 who dress this way

00:30:16.959 --> 00:30:18.199
 are doing it

00:30:18.199 --> 00:30:18.819
 for more reasons

00:30:18.819 --> 00:30:19.559
 than just to show off

00:30:19.559 --> 00:30:20.000
 their wealth.

00:30:20.679 --> 00:30:21.339
 They were showing

00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:21.779
 that maybe

00:30:21.779 --> 00:30:22.459
 they were interested

00:30:22.459 --> 00:30:23.199
 in someone other

00:30:23.199 --> 00:30:24.000
 than their current husband

00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:24.679
 being their husband.

00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:26.740
 So don't dress

00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:27.160
 in such a way

00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:27.940
 that you want everyone

00:30:27.940 --> 00:30:28.600
 to know how wealthy

00:30:28.600 --> 00:30:29.060
 you are

00:30:29.060 --> 00:30:30.420
 and also don't dress

00:30:30.420 --> 00:30:30.960
 in such a way

00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:31.440
 that your husband

00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:31.960
 has to wonder

00:30:31.960 --> 00:30:32.539
 whether you're looking

00:30:32.539 --> 00:30:33.279
 for a new spouse.

00:30:35.340 --> 00:30:36.039
 That's all I'm going to say

00:30:36.039 --> 00:30:36.620
 about those verses.

00:30:37.900 --> 00:30:38.100
 Okay.

00:30:38.860 --> 00:30:40.980
 Verses five and six.

00:30:41.860 --> 00:30:43.000
 We've talked about this before.

00:30:43.120 --> 00:30:44.019
 This is an encouragement.

00:30:44.460 --> 00:30:45.100
 I've already discussed

00:30:45.100 --> 00:30:45.720
 the fact that Sarah

00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:46.240
 is our model

00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:48.220
 and he's telling this woman,

00:30:48.380 --> 00:30:48.480
 look,

00:30:48.539 --> 00:30:49.120
 you're living with

00:30:49.120 --> 00:30:49.960
 a non-Christian husband.

00:30:50.080 --> 00:30:50.580
 You're a Christian.

00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:52.960
 While you may feel

00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:53.640
 out of place

00:30:53.640 --> 00:30:54.460
 in your marriage,

00:30:54.980 --> 00:30:56.759
 you're actually part

00:30:56.759 --> 00:30:59.320
 of a long lineage

00:30:59.320 --> 00:31:00.420
 of godly women

00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:01.840
 when you do these things.

00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:03.560
 It's kind of like

00:31:03.560 --> 00:31:04.040
 what I say

00:31:04.040 --> 00:31:05.540
 before the confession of faith.

00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:06.400
 We're confessing

00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:06.759
 with people

00:31:06.759 --> 00:31:07.560
 throughout the centuries.

00:31:08.759 --> 00:31:09.100
 Peter says,

00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:09.280
 look,

00:31:09.320 --> 00:31:10.860
 you might feel very alone

00:31:10.860 --> 00:31:11.740
 in your marriage right now

00:31:11.740 --> 00:31:12.300
 because your husband's

00:31:12.300 --> 00:31:12.759
 not a Christian.

00:31:13.900 --> 00:31:15.060
 When you try to be

00:31:15.060 --> 00:31:16.259
 the best wife you can

00:31:16.259 --> 00:31:17.300
 to bring him to Jesus,

00:31:17.980 --> 00:31:19.400
 you're part of centuries

00:31:19.400 --> 00:31:20.160
 of godly women.

00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:23.000
 You're part of that community now.

00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:23.599
 So,

00:31:23.859 --> 00:31:24.460
 and I think this is

00:31:24.460 --> 00:31:25.500
 one of the main points

00:31:25.500 --> 00:31:26.539
 of verses five and six,

00:31:27.019 --> 00:31:27.640
 be encouraged.

00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:30.140
 Be encouraged.

00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:31.859
 Sarah sets the example.

00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:32.920
 All these things

00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:33.920
 about calling him Lord,

00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:35.039
 submitting to their own husbands,

00:31:35.619 --> 00:31:36.680
 essentially what Peter's saying

00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:36.920
 is,

00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:38.099
 everything I've said before,

00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:38.900
 Sarah did that.

00:31:40.140 --> 00:31:41.119
 Submitting to her own husband,

00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:41.779
 Sarah did that,

00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:42.559
 so do what Sarah did.

00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:44.180
 If you want to see

00:31:44.180 --> 00:31:44.680
 what Sarah did,

00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:45.559
 go back and read

00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:48.759
 Genesis in the late teens

00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:49.400
 and 20s,

00:31:50.279 --> 00:31:51.200
 mid-teens and 20s.

00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:54.019
 In other words,

00:31:54.080 --> 00:31:55.539
 you're in your family right now,

00:31:55.600 --> 00:31:56.180
 you're out of place,

00:31:56.220 --> 00:31:57.460
 but you're part of a larger family.

00:32:01.940 --> 00:32:02.259
 Okay,

00:32:02.380 --> 00:32:02.940
 another deep breath.

00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:05.880
 I'm going to give you guys

00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:06.640
 a bunch of applications,

00:32:06.779 --> 00:32:07.580
 so that's all the explanation

00:32:07.580 --> 00:32:08.059
 I have for you

00:32:08.059 --> 00:32:08.580
 for this passage.

00:32:09.900 --> 00:32:11.819
 If you are a woman

00:32:11.819 --> 00:32:13.319
 and you're married

00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:15.360
 to a non-Christian,

00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:17.920
 same thing last week

00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:18.559
 about employees,

00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:19.740
 be the best wife you can.

00:32:19.740 --> 00:32:22.940
 God uses that

00:32:22.940 --> 00:32:24.079
 to bring your husband

00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:25.019
 to faith in Christ.

00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:28.400
 And he's also pointing

00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:29.099
 out another principle,

00:32:29.259 --> 00:32:30.240
 sometimes family members

00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:31.759
 are the hardest ones

00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:32.559
 to talk about

00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:33.319
 the gospel with.

00:32:36.019 --> 00:32:36.960
 What's going to win,

00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:37.720
 you all know this,

00:32:37.779 --> 00:32:39.539
 not just in marriage relationships,

00:32:39.660 --> 00:32:40.839
 but in other family relationships.

00:32:41.079 --> 00:32:41.460
 Sometimes,

00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:42.480
 if you're closely related

00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:43.220
 to someone,

00:32:43.500 --> 00:32:44.640
 you might be the last person

00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:45.480
 who's able to speak

00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:46.759
 with influence about that.

00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:48.700
 So be subversive.

00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:51.620
 What do you have to work with?

00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:52.980
 Impress them

00:32:52.980 --> 00:32:53.660
 with your character.

00:32:55.519 --> 00:32:55.680
 Remember,

00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:56.640
 I told you that story earlier,

00:32:56.740 --> 00:32:57.079
 Cassius,

00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:57.519
 he's just,

00:32:58.380 --> 00:32:58.559
 hey,

00:32:58.680 --> 00:32:59.220
 there's some things

00:32:59.220 --> 00:32:59.700
 that are hard,

00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:00.180
 but man,

00:33:00.339 --> 00:33:01.019
 things have really gotten

00:33:01.019 --> 00:33:01.700
 a lot better too

00:33:01.700 --> 00:33:02.359
 when my wife's become

00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:02.740
 a Christian.

00:33:04.500 --> 00:33:06.420
 If you are a woman,

00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:08.160
 not married to a non-Christian,

00:33:08.259 --> 00:33:09.180
 but married to a Christian,

00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:11.940
 your husband is imperfect

00:33:11.940 --> 00:33:12.779
 and flawed

00:33:12.779 --> 00:33:14.059
 in many ways.

00:33:14.059 --> 00:33:17.460
 Elrond was not wrong

00:33:17.460 --> 00:33:18.179
 when he said,

00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:19.539
 men are weak.

00:33:22.139 --> 00:33:22.659
 And,

00:33:23.139 --> 00:33:23.859
 praise God

00:33:23.859 --> 00:33:24.599
 that you're married

00:33:24.599 --> 00:33:25.179
 to a Christian.

00:33:28.179 --> 00:33:29.679
 There are worse things

00:33:29.679 --> 00:33:30.419
 than being married

00:33:30.419 --> 00:33:30.839
 to someone

00:33:30.839 --> 00:33:31.779
 that has faith

00:33:31.779 --> 00:33:32.879
 in Jesus Christ.

00:33:34.879 --> 00:33:35.659
 Praise God

00:33:35.659 --> 00:33:36.299
 that your weak,

00:33:36.700 --> 00:33:37.099
 flawed,

00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:37.899
 imperfect,

00:33:38.059 --> 00:33:38.919
 Elrond husband

00:33:38.919 --> 00:33:40.279
 loves Jesus.

00:33:40.279 --> 00:33:43.240
 And,

00:33:43.319 --> 00:33:44.440
 if a Christian woman

00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:44.980
 can affect

00:33:44.980 --> 00:33:46.119
 a non-Christian man

00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:46.859
 so much

00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:48.379
 by supporting

00:33:48.379 --> 00:33:48.940
 his leadership,

00:33:49.139 --> 00:33:49.920
 how much more

00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:50.799
 are you able

00:33:50.799 --> 00:33:51.559
 to support yours?

00:33:52.660 --> 00:33:53.299
 Peter's calling

00:33:53.299 --> 00:33:53.680
 these women

00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:54.539
 who are in a difficult

00:33:54.539 --> 00:33:55.180
 situation

00:33:55.180 --> 00:33:56.200
 to support their husbands.

00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:57.339
 How much more

00:33:57.339 --> 00:33:57.940
 can you support

00:33:57.940 --> 00:33:58.619
 a Christian husband?

00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:02.319
 If you're a woman

00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:03.180
 married to a non-Christian

00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:03.859
 or a Christian,

00:34:05.019 --> 00:34:06.460
 do whatever you can

00:34:06.460 --> 00:34:07.440
 to support

00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:08.320
 your husband's leadership.

00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.380
 Do anything

00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:12.600
 a good supportive

00:34:12.600 --> 00:34:13.900
 follower would do.

00:34:14.019 --> 00:34:14.600
 Do anything

00:34:14.600 --> 00:34:15.620
 a good second chair leader

00:34:15.620 --> 00:34:15.920
 would do

00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:16.300
 to support

00:34:16.300 --> 00:34:16.880
 a first chair leader.

00:34:16.960 --> 00:34:17.480
 That includes,

00:34:18.100 --> 00:34:18.200
 hey,

00:34:18.260 --> 00:34:19.280
 maybe you're problem solving.

00:34:19.400 --> 00:34:20.160
 Maybe you're telling them

00:34:20.160 --> 00:34:20.720
 things that you think

00:34:20.720 --> 00:34:21.380
 might be problematic

00:34:21.380 --> 00:34:22.180
 about their plans.

00:34:22.240 --> 00:34:22.640
 It doesn't mean

00:34:22.640 --> 00:34:23.440
 that you're a yes woman.

00:34:23.560 --> 00:34:24.080
 Maybe it means

00:34:24.080 --> 00:34:25.240
 that you are keeping

00:34:25.240 --> 00:34:26.480
 your disagreements private

00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:27.220
 instead of spreading

00:34:27.220 --> 00:34:28.080
 them out to everyone.

00:34:28.980 --> 00:34:29.620
 I'll make one other

00:34:29.620 --> 00:34:30.660
 application point here.

00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:31.940
 One way

00:34:31.940 --> 00:34:33.460
 you can be subject

00:34:33.460 --> 00:34:34.080
 to your husband

00:34:34.080 --> 00:34:35.180
 is by not letting

00:34:35.180 --> 00:34:36.260
 everyone in the church

00:34:36.260 --> 00:34:37.180
 know about

00:34:37.180 --> 00:34:37.920
 your husband's

00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:38.680
 previous failures.

00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:41.519
 And not making sure

00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:42.519
 everyone knows

00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:43.260
 every time

00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:43.780
 you guys have

00:34:43.780 --> 00:34:44.280
 a disagreement.

00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:45.780
 That's one way

00:34:45.780 --> 00:34:47.100
 to honor your husband.

00:34:47.600 --> 00:34:48.200
 It's the same thing

00:34:48.200 --> 00:34:48.940
 we do in other parts

00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:49.320
 of leadership.

00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:49.980
 There are times

00:34:49.980 --> 00:34:50.540
 when we as elders

00:34:50.540 --> 00:34:51.040
 of this church

00:34:51.040 --> 00:34:51.900
 we don't all agree

00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:52.420
 on something.

00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:54.540
 But we don't go out

00:34:54.540 --> 00:34:56.280
 and advertise

00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:56.920
 to everyone

00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:57.280
 the things

00:34:57.280 --> 00:34:58.120
 that we disagree about.

00:34:59.480 --> 00:34:59.860
 Now,

00:34:59.940 --> 00:35:00.560
 I'm not saying

00:35:00.560 --> 00:35:01.600
 don't tell anyone.

00:35:01.740 --> 00:35:02.260
 One of the things

00:35:02.260 --> 00:35:02.880
 Satan loves

00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:03.820
 more than anything else

00:35:03.820 --> 00:35:04.780
 is to isolate people.

00:35:06.200 --> 00:35:07.040
 And so I'm not saying

00:35:07.040 --> 00:35:08.100
 don't talk to anyone

00:35:08.099 --> 00:35:08.860
 about the struggles

00:35:08.860 --> 00:35:09.420
 in your marriage.

00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:10.719
 What I am saying

00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:11.619
 is talk to someone

00:35:11.619 --> 00:35:12.519
 rather than everyone.

00:35:14.319 --> 00:35:15.239
 Talk to someone

00:35:15.239 --> 00:35:16.119
 rather than everyone.

00:35:17.219 --> 00:35:17.960
 By the way,

00:35:18.420 --> 00:35:22.259
 who does the Bible say?

00:35:22.420 --> 00:35:23.420
 It's Bible trivia for you.

00:35:23.460 --> 00:35:24.619
 I've got a Bible trivia question

00:35:24.619 --> 00:35:25.360
 and then a Cheyenne

00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:26.279
 Mountain trivia question.

00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:29.339
 Who does the Bible say

00:35:29.339 --> 00:35:30.599
 should teach women

00:35:30.599 --> 00:35:32.440
 how to be good spouses?

00:35:34.259 --> 00:35:35.299
 To be good wives.

00:35:35.900 --> 00:35:36.719
 Does the Bible say

00:35:36.719 --> 00:35:37.980
 pastors should teach women

00:35:37.980 --> 00:35:38.839
 how to be good wives?

00:35:41.459 --> 00:35:42.119
 Shake your head.

00:35:43.139 --> 00:35:44.219
 Does the Bible say

00:35:44.219 --> 00:35:44.819
 that husbands

00:35:44.819 --> 00:35:45.980
 should teach their wives

00:35:45.980 --> 00:35:46.779
 how to be good wives?

00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:48.219
 Shake your head.

00:35:50.539 --> 00:35:51.299
 Who is supposed

00:35:51.299 --> 00:35:52.119
 to teach women

00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:53.019
 how to be good wives?

00:35:54.299 --> 00:35:55.019
 Older women.

00:35:55.579 --> 00:35:56.179
 Titus 2.

00:35:56.539 --> 00:35:57.679
 Titus 2 is a book

00:35:57.679 --> 00:35:58.619
 written by Paul

00:35:58.619 --> 00:35:59.539
 to a pastor

00:35:59.539 --> 00:35:59.980
 telling him

00:35:59.980 --> 00:36:00.859
 how to run a church.

00:36:01.799 --> 00:36:02.539
 And he tells him

00:36:02.539 --> 00:36:03.059
 all the things

00:36:03.059 --> 00:36:04.119
 he should be telling people

00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:05.000
 and then he stops

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:05.920
 and tells him

00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:07.880
 and if you're having

00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:08.960
 if people are having

00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:09.699
 trouble in their marriages

00:36:09.699 --> 00:36:12.000
 you go and recruit

00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:12.699
 the older women

00:36:12.699 --> 00:36:13.679
 to help the younger women.

00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:14.760
 It's not your job to go.

00:36:17.159 --> 00:36:18.039
 Brothers and sisters,

00:36:18.260 --> 00:36:19.019
 in this church

00:36:19.019 --> 00:36:20.579
 we are blessed

00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:22.840
 with an overwhelming number

00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:24.579
 of older godly women.

00:36:24.579 --> 00:36:27.699
 That's where you all

00:36:27.699 --> 00:36:28.440
 were supposed to say

00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:29.559
 praise God.

00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:31.299
 Okay, let's try this again.

00:36:31.719 --> 00:36:32.539
 In this church

00:36:32.539 --> 00:36:33.860
 we are blessed

00:36:33.860 --> 00:36:35.940
 with an overwhelming number

00:36:35.940 --> 00:36:37.219
 of older godly women.

00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:39.719
 Praise God.

00:36:41.119 --> 00:36:42.340
 I've been at churches before

00:36:42.340 --> 00:36:43.360
 where they've been praying

00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:44.279
 that they would have

00:36:44.279 --> 00:36:44.819
 older people

00:36:44.819 --> 00:36:45.519
 in their congregation

00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:46.440
 who have wisdom.

00:36:47.279 --> 00:36:48.019
 If you're struggling

00:36:48.019 --> 00:36:48.579
 in your marriage,

00:36:48.619 --> 00:36:49.440
 if you need help

00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:50.599
 knowing how to be

00:36:50.599 --> 00:36:51.319
 a good spouse,

00:36:51.320 --> 00:36:52.720
 your problem

00:36:52.720 --> 00:36:53.680
 is going to be

00:36:53.680 --> 00:36:54.920
 choosing which woman

00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:56.400
 to go and seek counsel from.

00:36:57.080 --> 00:36:57.920
 Good luck.

00:37:00.019 --> 00:37:00.559
 Now,

00:37:01.019 --> 00:37:01.940
 Cheyenne Mountain trivia.

00:37:03.580 --> 00:37:04.280
 How many

00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:05.940
 pastors' wives

00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:06.640
 do we have

00:37:06.640 --> 00:37:07.380
 at this church?

00:37:07.460 --> 00:37:08.100
 Don't say a number

00:37:08.100 --> 00:37:08.519
 right away.

00:37:09.720 --> 00:37:10.700
 Think about it.

00:37:12.860 --> 00:37:13.680
 How many?

00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:14.720
 How many?

00:37:18.080 --> 00:37:19.240
 By my count

00:37:19.240 --> 00:37:20.760
 we have at least three.

00:37:21.320 --> 00:37:23.559
 We've got

00:37:23.559 --> 00:37:24.440
 Maurice Fairbrother,

00:37:25.559 --> 00:37:27.300
 we have Nancy Carlson,

00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:28.840
 and we have

00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:29.600
 Deborah Nash,

00:37:30.220 --> 00:37:31.340
 each of whom

00:37:31.340 --> 00:37:32.700
 have spent decades

00:37:32.700 --> 00:37:34.160
 as pastors' wives.

00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:36.940
 If you want to meet

00:37:36.940 --> 00:37:37.940
 with me to talk about

00:37:37.940 --> 00:37:38.880
 how to be a good wife,

00:37:38.980 --> 00:37:39.940
 I'll come and meet with you,

00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:40.660
 but I'm bringing

00:37:40.660 --> 00:37:41.539
 Deborah with me

00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:42.480
 and she's going to do

00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:42.960
 the talking

00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:44.019
 and I'm going to take notes.

00:37:44.200 --> 00:37:44.340
 Okay?

00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:45.900
 Yeah, that was really good,

00:37:45.980 --> 00:37:46.039
 Deborah.

00:37:46.080 --> 00:37:46.780
 Can you say that again

00:37:46.780 --> 00:37:47.660
 so I can write it down?

00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:48.920
 That was great.

00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:50.460
 By the way,

00:37:50.460 --> 00:37:51.460
 we have great Sunday school

00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:52.420
 teachers in this church,

00:37:52.699 --> 00:37:54.240
 especially in our adult community.

00:37:54.780 --> 00:37:55.440
 Love Al,

00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:56.500
 love Jim,

00:37:56.639 --> 00:37:57.260
 love Chris.

00:37:58.460 --> 00:37:59.840
 Best Sunday school class

00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:00.480
 I've ever been

00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:01.260
 out of this church.

00:38:02.820 --> 00:38:03.920
 Taught by Autumn Cruz

00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:04.699
 and Deborah Nash.

00:38:04.699 --> 00:38:08.779
 If you were there,

00:38:08.879 --> 00:38:09.379
 you were there

00:38:09.379 --> 00:38:10.399
 and you know what it was like.

00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:11.239
 If you weren't there,

00:38:12.279 --> 00:38:12.559
 sorry.

00:38:14.699 --> 00:38:15.439
 Okay, finally,

00:38:16.519 --> 00:38:18.639
 if you're a single woman,

00:38:19.139 --> 00:38:19.739
 first of all,

00:38:19.879 --> 00:38:22.339
 do not marry a non-Christian.

00:38:26.019 --> 00:38:26.899
 Peter is writing

00:38:26.899 --> 00:38:27.519
 and explaining

00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:28.519
 that this is a form

00:38:28.519 --> 00:38:29.139
 of suffering.

00:38:30.399 --> 00:38:32.079
 I preached an entire sermon

00:38:32.079 --> 00:38:32.699
 in May

00:38:32.699 --> 00:38:33.699
 about why we don't marry

00:38:33.699 --> 00:38:34.399
 non-Christians.

00:38:35.739 --> 00:38:37.059
 It is still on the website.

00:38:38.259 --> 00:38:38.399
 Okay,

00:38:38.399 --> 00:38:39.119
 that's all I'm going to say.

00:38:39.759 --> 00:38:40.119
 Second,

00:38:40.379 --> 00:38:41.359
 so don't marry a non-Christian.

00:38:41.719 --> 00:38:42.119
 By the way,

00:38:42.159 --> 00:38:43.079
 when I say single women,

00:38:43.419 --> 00:38:44.339
 I'm not just talking about

00:38:44.339 --> 00:38:45.119
 women who are 22

00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:45.799
 and 35

00:38:45.799 --> 00:38:46.539
 and 47

00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:47.119
 and 67

00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:47.819
 and 82.

00:38:48.439 --> 00:38:49.699
 I am talking about women

00:38:49.699 --> 00:38:50.759
 who are also 5

00:38:50.759 --> 00:38:51.219
 and 8

00:38:51.219 --> 00:38:51.819
 and 12

00:38:51.819 --> 00:38:52.419
 and 16.

00:38:53.480 --> 00:38:54.799
 If you are not a man

00:38:54.799 --> 00:38:55.799
 and you are not married,

00:38:55.899 --> 00:38:56.759
 you are a single woman.

00:38:57.559 --> 00:38:57.879
 Congratulations.

00:38:59.699 --> 00:39:00.339
 So kids,

00:39:00.439 --> 00:39:01.399
 this is for you too.

00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:03.180
 Marry someone

00:39:03.180 --> 00:39:04.900
 who you're willing to follow.

00:39:06.680 --> 00:39:07.440
 Marry someone

00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:08.039
 whose leadership

00:39:08.039 --> 00:39:08.780
 you respect

00:39:08.780 --> 00:39:09.800
 and you're excited about.

00:39:10.780 --> 00:39:10.940
 Okay,

00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:11.700
 character trumps

00:39:11.700 --> 00:39:12.440
 everything else.

00:39:13.660 --> 00:39:15.320
 I wish for all of you

00:39:15.320 --> 00:39:17.420
 that you will find spouses

00:39:17.420 --> 00:39:18.460
 that are fun

00:39:18.460 --> 00:39:19.119
 and sexy.

00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:20.400
 However,

00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:24.480
 they also need to be leaders

00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:25.340
 that you're willing to follow.

00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:27.380
 If you're not willing

00:39:27.380 --> 00:39:27.880
 to follow them,

00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:28.940
 please don't marry them.

00:39:28.940 --> 00:39:32.300
 And then finally,

00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:33.099
 if you're a single woman,

00:39:34.300 --> 00:39:35.340
 I talked to a single woman

00:39:35.340 --> 00:39:35.720
 one time

00:39:35.720 --> 00:39:36.260
 and she told me,

00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:38.240
 I am preparing for marriage.

00:39:38.820 --> 00:39:39.720
 The way I want to prepare

00:39:39.720 --> 00:39:40.179
 for marriage

00:39:40.179 --> 00:39:40.720
 is by being

00:39:40.720 --> 00:39:42.280
 the absolute best friend

00:39:42.280 --> 00:39:43.000
 I can be

00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:44.559
 to my female friends.

00:39:46.240 --> 00:39:47.320
 That's not bad advice.

00:39:48.099 --> 00:39:49.340
 There's a friendship aspect

00:39:49.340 --> 00:39:49.920
 to marriage.

00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:52.039
 There is also,

00:39:52.139 --> 00:39:52.760
 I'm just going to say it,

00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:53.400
 there's an authority

00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:54.280
 aspect to marriage.

00:39:54.860 --> 00:39:56.019
 One way you prepare

00:39:56.019 --> 00:39:56.699
 for marriage

00:39:56.699 --> 00:39:58.500
 is by respecting

00:39:58.500 --> 00:39:59.099
 the authorities

00:39:59.099 --> 00:40:00.300
 in your life right now

00:40:00.300 --> 00:40:01.119
 as much as possible.

00:40:02.739 --> 00:40:03.960
 If you're a kid at home

00:40:03.960 --> 00:40:05.639
 and you want to have

00:40:05.639 --> 00:40:06.759
 a happy marriage

00:40:06.759 --> 00:40:07.980
 10 or 15 years from now,

00:40:08.659 --> 00:40:09.940
 respect not just your dad,

00:40:10.019 --> 00:40:10.639
 respect your dad

00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:11.440
 and your mom's leadership

00:40:11.440 --> 00:40:12.759
 as much as possible now.

00:40:14.340 --> 00:40:15.619
 Don't expect to show up

00:40:15.619 --> 00:40:16.000
 in marriage

00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:16.440
 you've been spending

00:40:16.440 --> 00:40:17.159
 your whole life,

00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:17.380
 right,

00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:18.739
 disrespecting the people

00:40:18.739 --> 00:40:19.559
 in authority over you.

00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:19.780
 Oh,

00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:20.679
 but this is going to change

00:40:20.679 --> 00:40:21.480
 the day I get married,

00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:21.699
 right?

00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:22.239
 That's not how

00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:24.239
 character formation works.

00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:25.919
 They tell missionaries,

00:40:26.099 --> 00:40:27.059
 don't expect to show up

00:40:27.059 --> 00:40:27.559
 to the field

00:40:27.559 --> 00:40:28.459
 and suddenly just start

00:40:28.459 --> 00:40:29.539
 evangelizing everyone

00:40:29.539 --> 00:40:30.319
 when you've never

00:40:30.319 --> 00:40:31.419
 shared the gospel before.

00:40:33.319 --> 00:40:34.199
 If you have a boss,

00:40:34.259 --> 00:40:34.899
 whether it's a man

00:40:34.899 --> 00:40:35.419
 or a woman,

00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:36.359
 how can you support

00:40:36.359 --> 00:40:37.219
 that person's leadership?

00:40:38.279 --> 00:40:39.199
 That's one way

00:40:39.199 --> 00:40:40.519
 you prepare for marriage.

00:40:41.819 --> 00:40:42.679
 Then for everyone,

00:40:42.799 --> 00:40:43.379
 this is the same

00:40:43.379 --> 00:40:43.979
 broad principle

00:40:43.979 --> 00:40:44.639
 that we've seen

00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:45.479
 over and over again.

00:40:45.559 --> 00:40:46.099
 We continue

00:40:46.099 --> 00:40:47.579
 to bring honor

00:40:47.579 --> 00:40:48.519
 and glory to God

00:40:48.519 --> 00:40:49.319
 through our actions.

00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:51.619
 God brings people

00:40:51.619 --> 00:40:52.739
 to faith in him

00:40:52.739 --> 00:40:54.059
 because of what we do.

00:40:54.979 --> 00:40:55.500
 It doesn't mean

00:40:55.500 --> 00:40:56.279
 that we're the ones

00:40:56.279 --> 00:40:56.639
 doing it.

00:40:56.699 --> 00:40:57.459
 It means that he uses

00:40:57.459 --> 00:40:57.979
 our actions

00:40:57.979 --> 00:40:58.519
 to bring people

00:40:58.519 --> 00:40:58.899
 to faith.

00:41:00.839 --> 00:41:01.639
 And we do it

00:41:01.639 --> 00:41:02.439
 for all the same reasons

00:41:02.439 --> 00:41:03.419
 that Peter's given to us.

00:41:03.459 --> 00:41:04.179
 We do it for the sake

00:41:04.179 --> 00:41:04.599
 of Jesus.

00:41:06.359 --> 00:41:07.279
 Jesus is the one

00:41:07.279 --> 00:41:08.419
 who's made suffering safe.

00:41:08.539 --> 00:41:08.699
 Remember,

00:41:08.739 --> 00:41:09.359
 we talked about that

00:41:09.359 --> 00:41:09.819
 last week.

00:41:11.479 --> 00:41:12.479
 When Jesus made

00:41:12.479 --> 00:41:13.299
 suffering safe,

00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:14.899
 he submitted

00:41:14.899 --> 00:41:15.559
 to the authority

00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:16.299
 of God the Father.

00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:19.099
 He said,

00:41:19.259 --> 00:41:20.059
 not your will be done,

00:41:20.099 --> 00:41:20.839
 but my will be done.

00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:24.460
 And Jesus is the one

00:41:24.460 --> 00:41:25.500
 who offers these people

00:41:25.500 --> 00:41:26.380
 hope that they don't

00:41:26.380 --> 00:41:27.059
 have to fear.

00:41:27.160 --> 00:41:28.000
 That's how this ends.

00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:29.740
 We can walk

00:41:29.740 --> 00:41:30.660
 the path of suffering.

00:41:31.360 --> 00:41:32.019
 It's a Christian

00:41:32.019 --> 00:41:32.860
 married to a non-Christian.

00:41:33.260 --> 00:41:33.740
 We can walk

00:41:33.740 --> 00:41:35.079
 the path of obedience

00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:37.320
 because our fear

00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:37.920
 is of God,

00:41:37.980 --> 00:41:38.539
 not of man.

00:41:39.480 --> 00:41:40.380
 And so our hope

00:41:40.380 --> 00:41:41.480
 is in God,

00:41:41.539 --> 00:41:42.280
 not man as well.

00:41:43.980 --> 00:41:44.740
 And so we're able

00:41:44.740 --> 00:41:45.220
 to do that

00:41:45.220 --> 00:41:46.260
 because God is the one

00:41:46.260 --> 00:41:47.059
 who gives us

00:41:47.059 --> 00:41:48.000
 our hope.

00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:48.460
 He's the one

00:41:48.460 --> 00:41:49.000
 who has suffered

00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:49.639
 before us.

00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:50.039
 He's the one

00:41:50.039 --> 00:41:50.599
 who submitted

00:41:50.599 --> 00:41:51.179
 and showed us

00:41:51.179 --> 00:41:51.860
 what it looks like.

00:41:53.400 --> 00:41:54.079
 And we honor

00:41:54.079 --> 00:41:54.619
 His authority

00:41:54.619 --> 00:41:55.340
 and we also honor

00:41:55.340 --> 00:41:56.079
 the other authorities

00:41:56.079 --> 00:41:57.260
 that we have.

00:41:58.280 --> 00:41:58.840
 I appreciate

00:41:58.840 --> 00:41:59.780
 you all's patience today.

00:41:59.860 --> 00:42:00.519
 I know this is a little bit

00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:01.300
 of a longer topic,

00:42:02.019 --> 00:42:03.139
 but it's important.

00:42:03.619 --> 00:42:04.260
 And this is why

00:42:04.260 --> 00:42:05.199
 we preach through

00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:05.760
 books of the Bible

00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:06.380
 so that we don't

00:42:06.380 --> 00:42:07.059
 skip things

00:42:07.059 --> 00:42:07.619
 that are hard

00:42:07.619 --> 00:42:08.099
 or challenging

00:42:08.099 --> 00:42:08.780
 to talk about.

00:42:11.159 --> 00:42:11.880
 And so this is

00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:12.380
 God's word.

00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:14.059
 And just in the same way

00:42:14.059 --> 00:42:14.940
 that it is every week,

00:42:14.980 --> 00:42:15.780
 it's for our good

00:42:15.780 --> 00:42:17.539
 and it's for God's glory.

00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:19.559
 And so I ask

00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:20.219
 that you pray with me

00:42:20.219 --> 00:42:21.579
 as we conclude.

00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:23.980
 Dear Father in heaven,

00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:24.860
 we thank you

00:42:24.860 --> 00:42:25.539
 for your word

00:42:25.539 --> 00:42:26.679
 that's good

00:42:26.679 --> 00:42:27.480
 even when it's hard

00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:28.059
 and challenging.

00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:29.760
 We ask that you

00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:30.940
 would use it

00:42:30.940 --> 00:42:31.719
 to help us

00:42:31.719 --> 00:42:32.599
 and strengthen us.

00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:33.780
 You'd use it

00:42:33.780 --> 00:42:34.440
 to build us up.

00:42:34.500 --> 00:42:35.320
 I ask for the marriages

00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:36.079
 in this church

00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:37.260
 that those marriages

00:42:37.260 --> 00:42:38.239
 would grow more

00:42:38.239 --> 00:42:38.639
 and more

00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:40.500
 to look like

00:42:40.500 --> 00:42:43.000
 you and your relationship

00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:43.760
 to the church.

00:42:44.500 --> 00:42:45.340
 That spouses

00:42:45.340 --> 00:42:46.460
 would be sacrificing

00:42:46.460 --> 00:42:47.679
 each for the other

00:42:47.679 --> 00:42:49.159
 and that people

00:42:49.159 --> 00:42:49.519
 would look

00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:50.320
 and they would see

00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:50.760
 the husbands

00:42:50.760 --> 00:42:51.340
 and the wives

00:42:51.340 --> 00:42:52.280
 in this church

00:42:52.280 --> 00:42:52.760
 and they would be

00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:53.360
 so struck

00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:54.280
 and want to know

00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:55.699
 more about

00:42:55.699 --> 00:42:56.440
 what it is

00:42:56.440 --> 00:42:57.300
 that makes their

00:42:57.300 --> 00:42:58.860
 marriage and their home

00:42:58.860 --> 00:43:00.000
 a place of beauty

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:01.500
 and a place of peace.

00:43:02.420 --> 00:43:03.139
 And we ask

00:43:03.139 --> 00:43:03.900
 all these things

00:43:03.900 --> 00:43:05.179
 thankful that we

00:43:05.179 --> 00:43:06.119
 don't have to earn them

00:43:06.119 --> 00:43:07.199
 but that Jesus

00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:08.199
 has earned them for us

00:43:08.199 --> 00:43:08.860
 and so we ask them

00:43:08.860 --> 00:43:09.400
 in his name.

00:43:10.099 --> 00:43:10.320
 Amen.

00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:10.460
 Amen.

00:43:10.460 --> 00:43:11.780
 Amen.

00:43:39.280 --> 00:43:40.440
 Amen.