WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.080 Well, in last month's sermon on the topic of marriage, I spoke about the effects of sin on marriage. 00:00:07.080 --> 00:00:15.279 We talked about how God made marriage good, a special relationship between a man and a woman. 00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:28.640 But then we heard about how the fall of man away from God left us bent towards selfishness and lust and pride and hardness of heart. 00:00:29.240 --> 00:00:35.980 And how these things very quickly lead to conflict and broken relationships and the spoiling of marriage. 00:00:35.979 --> 00:00:43.219 These things lead to, we talked about attempts to get the goodness of marriage in some other way. 00:00:44.019 --> 00:00:46.979 And those attempts always fail and lead to ruin. 00:00:48.179 --> 00:00:53.399 But last month I also talked about how the gospel of Jesus Christ is just what we need. 00:00:54.119 --> 00:00:58.619 It's the remedy to sin. It's the solution to pride. 00:00:59.339 --> 00:01:03.219 It's what we need to soften our hard hearts. 00:01:03.219 --> 00:01:12.159 In Jesus we find freedom from both the penalty of sin and the power of sin. 00:01:12.859 --> 00:01:17.299 We receive the Spirit of God to live in us. 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:22.780 And He empowers us to turn back to God's good design for marriage and sexuality. 00:01:22.780 --> 00:01:30.280 God's Spirit enables us to walk in purity and holiness and true love. 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:37.240 And from there marriage can again, so long as both parties are walking humbly with Jesus, 00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:41.079 be experienced as the good and joyful gift that God intended. 00:01:42.299 --> 00:01:47.760 Wounds can heal as we forgive one another, just as Christ forgave us. 00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:57.000 And this faith that we have in Jesus, it leads us to a new attitude, a new heart, a new life. 00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:06.299 A life characterized by forgiveness and humility toward our spouses. 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:12.819 Of course it doesn't mean that conflict will never happen in a marriage of two Christian people. 00:02:13.340 --> 00:02:18.759 But it means that we have what we need from God to resolve those conflicts when they happen. 00:02:19.219 --> 00:02:22.060 And even to love without expecting anything in return. 00:02:22.060 --> 00:02:24.460 And that makes all the difference. 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:28.420 Well this all leads us to our focus for this morning. 00:02:29.319 --> 00:02:31.759 What are the foundations for a good marriage? 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:43.939 What are the essentials for a healthy, thriving, and happy marriage in a fallen and broken world? 00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:47.259 And there's lots of things that we could talk about here. 00:02:47.340 --> 00:02:50.480 There's lots of right answers to this question. 00:02:50.480 --> 00:02:51.939 Good answers to this question. 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:54.580 But this morning I'm just going to focus on three. 00:02:55.920 --> 00:03:03.240 Three foundations for a good, healthy, thriving, happy marriage in a fallen and broken world. 00:03:04.939 --> 00:03:11.520 Foundation number one is a passionate and persevering love for God. 00:03:13.140 --> 00:03:19.759 Having a passionate and persevering love for God makes all the difference in the world in a marriage. 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:24.699 We've already said that marriage is made by God and that it's a gift of God. 00:03:25.519 --> 00:03:31.719 And since it's a gift from God, marriage is not the most important relationship in life. 00:03:32.939 --> 00:03:38.919 Our relationship with the God who gave it to us is the most important relationship in life. 00:03:38.919 --> 00:03:42.439 We're just about a month away from Christmas. 00:03:42.439 --> 00:03:46.299 That time of year when many exchange gifts. 00:03:47.359 --> 00:03:49.759 Probably most of us grew up loving Christmas. 00:03:50.399 --> 00:03:54.199 Especially that moment when we got to unwrap the presents. 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:58.259 The excitement of not knowing what our parents had wrapped up for us. 00:03:58.979 --> 00:04:04.419 Maybe a new toy under the tree was almost too much to bear. 00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:07.379 5 a.m. couldn't come soon enough. 00:04:07.379 --> 00:04:13.919 But all these years later as adults, do we remember each and every present we received? 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:17.000 From each and every person each year? 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:18.560 No. 00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:22.719 But we remember the love of the people who gave them to us. 00:04:23.159 --> 00:04:24.480 Which was far greater. 00:04:25.620 --> 00:04:29.060 A thoughtful gift that met a deep need. 00:04:29.060 --> 00:04:31.439 A costly gift. 00:04:31.680 --> 00:04:33.339 Not because it was expensive. 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:37.899 But because the person who gave it had very little at the time. 00:04:39.019 --> 00:04:40.860 Or perhaps a handmade gift. 00:04:41.459 --> 00:04:43.819 Something that couldn't be bought in the store. 00:04:44.699 --> 00:04:50.560 But you knew that a loved one had spent hours making it just the way it was for you. 00:04:51.840 --> 00:04:57.199 These gifts are tokens of the love of a person. 00:04:57.199 --> 00:05:02.979 But far greater than the gift is the giver of the gift. 00:05:04.180 --> 00:05:05.800 This is how it is with marriage. 00:05:06.579 --> 00:05:14.939 We have it wrong if, and we're missing it, if we're looking for the great companion of our souls here on earth. 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:16.719 In a relationship. 00:05:17.740 --> 00:05:18.899 Even in a marriage. 00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:21.060 Marriage is just a token. 00:05:21.879 --> 00:05:24.419 It's just a pointer to the great relationship. 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:26.659 The ultimate marriage. 00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:28.360 That we were all made for. 00:05:28.459 --> 00:05:30.039 And that's our relationship with God. 00:05:33.479 --> 00:05:37.519 And so, if I had to give a married person or a person seeking marriage. 00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:40.219 One scripture passage in the whole Bible. 00:05:40.579 --> 00:05:42.039 I would choose this one. 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:43.779 Matthew 22. 00:05:45.219 --> 00:05:47.000 34 to 40. 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:51.680 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees. 00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:53.459 The Pharisees got together. 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:58.160 One of them, an expert in the law, tested Jesus with this question. 00:05:58.939 --> 00:06:02.360 Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law? 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:04.439 Jesus replied, 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:08.660 Love the Lord your God with all your heart. 00:06:08.660 --> 00:06:10.519 And with all your soul. 00:06:10.719 --> 00:06:12.279 And with all your mind. 00:06:12.719 --> 00:06:15.420 This is the first and greatest commandment. 00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:18.079 And the second is like it. 00:06:18.660 --> 00:06:20.439 Love your neighbor as yourself. 00:06:20.439 --> 00:06:26.120 All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments. 00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:36.220 This might seem a strange scripture to go to when looking for wisdom about marriage. 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:43.500 But what could make for a better marriage than a strong and vibrant relationship with the God who made marriage? 00:06:43.500 --> 00:06:50.839 What could make for a better marriage than deeply knowing and loving the God who is love? 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:58.519 The God whose kindness and patience and forgiveness are so powerful and beautiful. 00:06:59.939 --> 00:07:03.639 And if we love God with all our hearts, totally and passionately, 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:09.040 then our earthly relationships find their proper places in our lives. 00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:12.920 We're the best that we can be towards others. 00:07:13.500 --> 00:07:19.579 Towards the girlfriend, the boyfriend, the fiance, or the spouse. 00:07:21.420 --> 00:07:26.779 Nothing makes a good, healthy, thriving, happy marriage in a fallen world more 00:07:26.779 --> 00:07:29.160 than loving God with all your heart. 00:07:29.740 --> 00:07:30.959 And with all your soul. 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:32.560 And with all your mind. 00:07:34.540 --> 00:07:35.759 How does this work? 00:07:36.459 --> 00:07:37.779 How do we apply this? 00:07:39.420 --> 00:07:41.800 Well, if you want to have the best marriage you can, 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:50.160 whether you are not yet married, dating, engaged, or married for a long time, 00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:52.120 if you want to have the best marriage you can, 00:07:52.280 --> 00:07:57.040 make it your life to love the Lord with all your heart. 00:07:58.360 --> 00:07:59.960 As deeply as you can. 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:04.220 This changes you so deeply and profoundly 00:08:04.220 --> 00:08:10.440 that we can't even begin to measure the good effect that it will have on your marriage relationship 00:08:10.440 --> 00:08:13.080 now and into the future. 00:08:13.079 --> 00:08:23.779 This brings us to a second foundation for a good, healthy, thriving, happy marriage in a fallen world. 00:08:23.779 --> 00:08:26.779 If you are not yet married, 00:08:26.779 --> 00:08:30.619 but looking for a lifelong companion, 00:08:31.139 --> 00:08:33.539 a husband or wife, 00:08:34.259 --> 00:08:38.659 look for the person who loves God with all their heart. 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:42.339 Look for the person who loves Jesus 00:08:42.339 --> 00:08:44.199 even more than you. 00:08:45.139 --> 00:08:46.759 More than anyone around you. 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.000 What they look like, 00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:50.919 what they're interested in, 00:08:51.139 --> 00:08:53.220 what they do for career or work, 00:08:53.439 --> 00:08:54.980 all of that is secondary. 00:08:56.220 --> 00:08:57.379 Do they love God 00:08:57.379 --> 00:08:58.960 with all their heart 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:00.580 and with all their soul 00:09:00.580 --> 00:09:02.639 and with all their mind? 00:09:04.860 --> 00:09:06.799 It says this in Proverbs 31, 00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:09.240 a wife of noble character 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:10.840 who can find. 00:09:11.899 --> 00:09:12.740 She is worth 00:09:12.740 --> 00:09:13.799 far more 00:09:13.799 --> 00:09:15.480 than rubies. 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:17.779 Solomon then goes on 00:09:17.779 --> 00:09:18.420 to list out 00:09:18.420 --> 00:09:18.980 all the 00:09:18.980 --> 00:09:21.360 things that she does 00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:22.399 which show 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:23.480 her noble character 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:24.860 and then at the end of the list, 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:25.879 towards the end of the list, 00:09:25.960 --> 00:09:26.720 he says this, 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:28.800 charm is deceptive 00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:30.300 and beauty 00:09:30.300 --> 00:09:31.940 is fleeting. 00:09:33.019 --> 00:09:33.940 It flies away. 00:09:35.139 --> 00:09:35.840 But a woman 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:37.159 who fears the Lord 00:09:37.159 --> 00:09:39.399 is to be praised. 00:09:40.940 --> 00:09:42.240 That's what to look for 00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:43.399 in a spouse. 00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:45.659 a man or woman 00:09:45.659 --> 00:09:46.939 who fears the Lord. 00:09:47.480 --> 00:09:48.620 A man or woman 00:09:48.620 --> 00:09:49.919 of noble character. 00:09:51.059 --> 00:09:51.840 A man or woman 00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:52.620 who loves God 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:54.360 with all their heart. 00:09:55.620 --> 00:09:56.919 With these things alone, 00:09:57.019 --> 00:09:57.879 you can save yourself 00:09:57.879 --> 00:09:58.459 a world 00:09:58.459 --> 00:09:59.659 of relational 00:09:59.659 --> 00:10:00.519 heartache 00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:01.379 and pain. 00:10:02.340 --> 00:10:03.659 Make it your life 00:10:03.659 --> 00:10:05.399 to love God 00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:06.519 passionately 00:10:06.519 --> 00:10:07.939 with everything you've got. 00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:10.520 and only say 00:10:10.520 --> 00:10:11.200 I do 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:13.720 or ask 00:10:13.720 --> 00:10:15.000 someone to marry you. 00:10:15.780 --> 00:10:16.820 Someone who has 00:10:16.820 --> 00:10:17.780 that same heart 00:10:17.780 --> 00:10:18.420 for the Lord. 00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:20.300 That same love 00:10:20.300 --> 00:10:22.040 for the Lord. 00:10:22.460 --> 00:10:23.480 That same fear 00:10:23.480 --> 00:10:24.320 of God. 00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:26.040 This will make 00:10:26.040 --> 00:10:26.660 all the difference 00:10:26.660 --> 00:10:27.420 in your life. 00:10:27.820 --> 00:10:28.840 This makes all the difference 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:29.500 in marriage. 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:31.220 It makes all the difference 00:10:31.220 --> 00:10:31.860 in a family. 00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:33.960 because God 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:34.779 is love. 00:10:35.899 --> 00:10:37.060 He is life. 00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:38.120 He's everything. 00:10:38.720 --> 00:10:39.320 And if we walk 00:10:39.320 --> 00:10:40.419 continually with Him 00:10:40.419 --> 00:10:41.419 loving Him 00:10:41.419 --> 00:10:42.460 with all we've got 00:10:42.460 --> 00:10:44.100 everything is affected 00:10:44.100 --> 00:10:45.180 for the best. 00:10:46.440 --> 00:10:46.860 And so that's 00:10:47.720 --> 00:10:48.800 foundation one. 00:10:49.940 --> 00:10:51.000 Love the Lord your God 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:51.879 with all your heart. 00:10:52.139 --> 00:10:52.879 The first key 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:54.060 to a thriving marriage. 00:10:54.700 --> 00:10:55.659 And foundation two. 00:10:56.080 --> 00:10:57.600 If you're not yet married 00:10:57.600 --> 00:10:58.840 say I do 00:10:58.840 --> 00:10:59.659 only 00:10:59.659 --> 00:11:00.480 to someone 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:01.039 who shares 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:02.000 that love for God. 00:11:03.179 --> 00:11:04.819 And I want to expand 00:11:04.819 --> 00:11:05.500 on this a little 00:11:05.500 --> 00:11:06.159 and I know that 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:06.919 many of you here 00:11:06.919 --> 00:11:07.860 are already married 00:11:07.860 --> 00:11:09.279 and have made that choice. 00:11:11.719 --> 00:11:13.039 And these words 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:13.500 maybe 00:11:13.500 --> 00:11:14.559 had envisioned 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:15.539 a few more people 00:11:15.539 --> 00:11:16.339 who are unmarried 00:11:16.339 --> 00:11:17.600 here in the audience today 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:17.919 but 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:20.379 maybe there's some people 00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:20.819 you know 00:11:20.819 --> 00:11:21.639 who you can share 00:11:21.639 --> 00:11:22.579 this wisdom with 00:11:22.579 --> 00:11:23.779 who are unmarried 00:11:23.779 --> 00:11:24.620 or who are thinking 00:11:24.620 --> 00:11:25.379 about marriage. 00:11:25.379 --> 00:11:29.500 It's wise 00:11:29.500 --> 00:11:30.580 to look for the person 00:11:30.580 --> 00:11:31.360 who loves God 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:31.919 the most 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:34.460 but maybe you might wonder 00:11:34.460 --> 00:11:35.620 what if that person 00:11:35.620 --> 00:11:36.379 is already taken? 00:11:37.659 --> 00:11:38.559 What if there's no one 00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:39.659 my age around me 00:11:39.659 --> 00:11:40.399 who loves God 00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:41.000 like that? 00:11:42.340 --> 00:11:43.340 Or who shares 00:11:43.340 --> 00:11:44.019 my faith 00:11:44.019 --> 00:11:44.600 like that? 00:11:45.539 --> 00:11:46.419 And there can be 00:11:46.419 --> 00:11:47.879 this powerful temptation 00:11:47.879 --> 00:11:49.720 to settle for less. 00:11:49.840 --> 00:11:50.840 To go for a person 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:51.759 who loves you 00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:53.679 but who doesn't 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:54.799 love Jesus. 00:11:55.379 --> 00:11:58.419 Never settle for less 00:11:58.419 --> 00:12:00.039 when it comes to choosing 00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:01.559 who you will marry. 00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:03.500 Listen to these words 00:12:03.500 --> 00:12:03.939 of wisdom 00:12:03.939 --> 00:12:05.080 from the Apostle Paul 00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:06.240 as he wrote to the church 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:07.419 in Corinth. 00:12:09.100 --> 00:12:11.220 Do not be yoked together 00:12:11.220 --> 00:12:12.899 with unbelievers. 00:12:13.740 --> 00:12:15.299 For what do righteousness 00:12:15.299 --> 00:12:16.379 and wickedness 00:12:16.379 --> 00:12:17.279 have in common? 00:12:17.879 --> 00:12:19.159 Or what fellowship 00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:19.879 can light 00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:21.120 have with darkness? 00:12:22.259 --> 00:12:23.279 What harmony 00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:24.080 is there between 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:25.639 Christ and Belial? 00:12:26.520 --> 00:12:27.860 Or what does a believer 00:12:27.860 --> 00:12:29.240 have in common 00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:30.300 with an unbeliever? 00:12:31.400 --> 00:12:32.240 What agreement 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:32.720 is there 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:33.900 between the temple 00:12:33.900 --> 00:12:34.480 of God 00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:35.300 and idols? 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:37.520 For we are the temple 00:12:37.520 --> 00:12:38.560 of the living God. 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:40.860 As God has said 00:12:40.860 --> 00:12:42.340 I will live with them 00:12:42.340 --> 00:12:43.759 and walk among them 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:45.280 and I will be their God 00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:46.520 and they will be 00:12:46.520 --> 00:12:47.139 my people. 00:12:48.100 --> 00:12:48.440 Therefore 00:12:48.440 --> 00:12:50.120 come out from them 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:51.259 and be separate 00:12:51.259 --> 00:12:52.200 says the Lord. 00:12:53.940 --> 00:12:55.100 Now Paul's main 00:12:55.100 --> 00:12:55.980 application here 00:12:55.980 --> 00:12:56.919 is not marriage. 00:12:57.440 --> 00:12:58.419 This is actually 00:12:58.419 --> 00:12:59.320 about compromise. 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:00.779 It's about 00:13:00.779 --> 00:13:02.480 welcoming into the church 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:03.879 as brothers and sisters 00:13:03.879 --> 00:13:05.060 those 00:13:05.060 --> 00:13:06.200 who worship 00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:06.700 idols 00:13:06.700 --> 00:13:08.240 and false gods. 00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:10.600 And Paul's saying 00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:11.399 don't do that. 00:13:11.860 --> 00:13:13.179 Don't be joined together 00:13:13.179 --> 00:13:14.979 with unbelieving 00:13:14.979 --> 00:13:15.719 idol 00:13:15.719 --> 00:13:17.339 worshiping people. 00:13:18.179 --> 00:13:19.159 Come out from them 00:13:19.159 --> 00:13:20.099 and be separate 00:13:20.099 --> 00:13:20.639 from them. 00:13:21.019 --> 00:13:22.019 You belong to God 00:13:22.019 --> 00:13:22.259 now. 00:13:22.339 --> 00:13:23.439 You belong to Christ. 00:13:24.379 --> 00:13:25.359 You can't have 00:13:25.359 --> 00:13:26.719 a true union 00:13:26.719 --> 00:13:27.799 and a deep fellowship 00:13:27.799 --> 00:13:29.179 with those 00:13:29.179 --> 00:13:29.919 who don't share 00:13:29.919 --> 00:13:31.099 in that faith 00:13:31.099 --> 00:13:31.639 in Christ. 00:13:32.339 --> 00:13:33.319 It's like trying 00:13:33.319 --> 00:13:33.739 to mix 00:13:33.739 --> 00:13:35.099 light 00:13:35.099 --> 00:13:36.159 and darkness 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:37.059 together. 00:13:37.059 --> 00:13:39.179 it's like 00:13:39.179 --> 00:13:40.239 trying to say 00:13:40.239 --> 00:13:40.839 that Christ 00:13:40.839 --> 00:13:41.319 Jesus 00:13:41.319 --> 00:13:42.659 our king 00:13:42.659 --> 00:13:44.159 can live 00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:44.739 in harmony 00:13:44.739 --> 00:13:46.179 with Belial. 00:13:47.219 --> 00:13:48.019 That's another 00:13:48.019 --> 00:13:48.839 name for the devil. 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:51.819 Paul's main 00:13:51.819 --> 00:13:52.559 application here 00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:53.439 is not marriage 00:13:53.439 --> 00:13:55.000 but the principle 00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:55.659 that he gives 00:13:55.659 --> 00:13:56.500 fits perfectly 00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:57.199 with marriage. 00:13:58.619 --> 00:13:59.699 If you shouldn't 00:13:59.699 --> 00:14:01.000 invite unbelievers 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:01.799 who have a different 00:14:01.799 --> 00:14:02.339 religion 00:14:02.339 --> 00:14:03.679 to join 00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:04.500 the church 00:14:04.500 --> 00:14:05.039 as members 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:05.959 and to be part 00:14:05.959 --> 00:14:06.419 of the church 00:14:06.419 --> 00:14:06.879 family 00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:08.899 then you shouldn't 00:14:08.899 --> 00:14:09.919 invite an unbeliever 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:10.759 who has a different 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:11.779 religion than you 00:14:11.779 --> 00:14:12.620 to be part of 00:14:12.620 --> 00:14:13.240 your family 00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:14.379 and to 00:14:14.379 --> 00:14:16.460 join with you 00:14:16.460 --> 00:14:17.159 in marriage. 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:19.840 Do not be 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:20.740 yoked together 00:14:20.740 --> 00:14:23.159 with unbelievers 00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:24.799 says the Lord. 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:25.840 And that word 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:26.340 yoked 00:14:26.340 --> 00:14:27.840 it comes from 00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:28.399 the way they used 00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:29.000 to do things 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:29.879 back in ancient 00:14:29.879 --> 00:14:30.399 times. 00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:31.659 They used 00:14:31.659 --> 00:14:32.320 oxen 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:33.779 or donkeys 00:14:33.779 --> 00:14:34.759 to plow 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:36.279 and to 00:14:36.279 --> 00:14:37.100 pull carts 00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:37.980 and other 00:14:37.980 --> 00:14:38.419 things 00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:39.899 and the 00:14:39.899 --> 00:14:40.139 yoke 00:14:40.139 --> 00:14:40.519 is that 00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:41.039 harness 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:41.639 that goes 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:42.000 between 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:42.360 the two 00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:42.799 animals 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:43.799 and keeps 00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:44.360 them together 00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:44.939 so that they 00:14:44.939 --> 00:14:45.819 can pull 00:14:45.819 --> 00:14:46.480 or work 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:47.399 in unison. 00:14:49.159 --> 00:14:49.639 And the 00:14:49.639 --> 00:14:50.339 term that 00:14:50.339 --> 00:14:50.779 Paul uses 00:14:50.779 --> 00:14:51.120 here is 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:51.399 actually 00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:52.120 difficult to 00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:52.779 translate into 00:14:52.779 --> 00:14:53.120 English. 00:14:53.319 --> 00:14:53.679 It means 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:54.500 to yoke 00:14:54.500 --> 00:14:55.279 together two 00:14:55.279 --> 00:14:56.299 different species 00:14:56.299 --> 00:14:57.779 of animal 00:14:57.779 --> 00:15:00.019 like a donkey 00:15:00.019 --> 00:15:01.620 and an ox 00:15:01.620 --> 00:15:02.980 at the same 00:15:02.980 --> 00:15:03.399 time. 00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:04.980 One translation 00:15:04.980 --> 00:15:05.879 says do not 00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:06.899 be mismatched 00:15:06.899 --> 00:15:08.600 with unbelievers 00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:09.759 or do not 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:11.039 be unevenly 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:11.720 yoked 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:12.759 or unequally 00:15:12.759 --> 00:15:13.560 yoked. 00:15:15.379 --> 00:15:16.039 What do you 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:16.340 think would 00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:16.919 happen if you 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:17.480 try to drive 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:18.019 a wagon 00:15:18.019 --> 00:15:19.659 pulled by 00:15:19.659 --> 00:15:20.860 an ox 00:15:20.860 --> 00:15:22.159 and a donkey? 00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:26.279 It's going 00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:26.679 to be nothing 00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:27.539 but frustration 00:15:27.539 --> 00:15:29.959 or chaos. 00:15:30.919 --> 00:15:31.779 They're two 00:15:31.779 --> 00:15:32.699 different animals. 00:15:33.219 --> 00:15:33.439 They have 00:15:33.439 --> 00:15:34.179 different sizes. 00:15:34.419 --> 00:15:34.659 They have 00:15:34.659 --> 00:15:35.620 different strides. 00:15:35.819 --> 00:15:36.039 They have 00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:37.039 different temperaments. 00:15:37.419 --> 00:15:37.860 The ox 00:15:37.860 --> 00:15:38.620 is stronger. 00:15:39.719 --> 00:15:40.419 If he 00:15:40.419 --> 00:15:41.039 pulls harder 00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:42.459 than the donkey 00:15:42.459 --> 00:15:43.240 well the wagon 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:43.559 is going to 00:15:43.559 --> 00:15:44.019 go to one 00:15:44.019 --> 00:15:44.399 side. 00:15:45.819 --> 00:15:46.419 And donkeys 00:15:46.419 --> 00:15:47.000 are known to 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:47.500 be stubborn 00:15:47.500 --> 00:15:48.059 and they 00:15:48.059 --> 00:15:48.579 might just 00:15:48.579 --> 00:15:49.100 drag their 00:15:49.100 --> 00:15:49.379 feet. 00:15:50.019 --> 00:15:50.699 You're not 00:15:50.699 --> 00:15:51.159 going to get 00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:51.459 where you 00:15:51.459 --> 00:15:52.000 want to go. 00:15:52.939 --> 00:15:53.459 It just 00:15:53.459 --> 00:15:54.120 won't work. 00:15:55.159 --> 00:15:55.719 That's the 00:15:55.719 --> 00:15:56.219 picture that 00:15:56.219 --> 00:15:56.500 Paul is 00:15:56.500 --> 00:15:56.819 trying to 00:15:56.819 --> 00:15:57.139 give us 00:15:57.139 --> 00:15:57.360 here. 00:15:57.719 --> 00:15:58.100 That's what 00:15:58.100 --> 00:15:58.699 happens when 00:15:58.699 --> 00:15:59.719 believers join 00:15:59.719 --> 00:16:01.100 themselves to 00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:01.799 unbelievers. 00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:03.159 And this has 00:16:03.159 --> 00:16:03.699 played itself 00:16:03.699 --> 00:16:04.339 out time and 00:16:04.339 --> 00:16:05.000 time again in 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:06.079 dating relationships 00:16:06.079 --> 00:16:07.240 and marriages. 00:16:08.299 --> 00:16:09.240 If you don't 00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:09.799 have the same 00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:10.600 faith in Jesus, 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:11.379 the same 00:16:11.379 --> 00:16:12.860 heart for 00:16:12.860 --> 00:16:13.199 Jesus, 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:13.759 the same 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:14.399 love for 00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:14.799 God, 00:16:15.620 --> 00:16:16.259 it's going 00:16:16.259 --> 00:16:16.600 to be a 00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:17.579 frustrating or 00:16:17.579 --> 00:16:18.059 chaotic 00:16:18.059 --> 00:16:18.779 disaster. 00:16:19.899 --> 00:16:20.500 There's going 00:16:20.500 --> 00:16:21.059 to be a lot 00:16:21.059 --> 00:16:21.759 of conflict. 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:24.480 If you're a 00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:25.019 believer and 00:16:25.019 --> 00:16:25.600 they're not, 00:16:26.100 --> 00:16:26.639 how's this 00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:26.899 going to 00:16:26.899 --> 00:16:27.179 work? 00:16:28.319 --> 00:16:29.039 One of you 00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:29.379 will be 00:16:29.379 --> 00:16:30.639 pulling one 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.559 way towards 00:16:31.559 --> 00:16:32.980 God and 00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:33.259 the other 00:16:33.259 --> 00:16:33.600 will be 00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:34.059 pulling the 00:16:34.059 --> 00:16:34.579 other way 00:16:34.579 --> 00:16:35.620 away from 00:16:35.620 --> 00:16:35.959 God. 00:16:36.620 --> 00:16:37.159 And it 00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:38.279 affects every 00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:39.100 aspect of a 00:16:39.100 --> 00:16:40.600 marriage and 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:42.319 life, whether 00:16:42.319 --> 00:16:42.879 or not you do 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:43.779 family devotions 00:16:43.779 --> 00:16:45.399 together and 00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:46.139 pray together, 00:16:46.339 --> 00:16:46.819 whether or not 00:16:46.819 --> 00:16:47.439 you all go to 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:47.820 church. 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:49.600 The kids 00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:50.100 will grow up 00:16:50.100 --> 00:16:50.640 getting mixed 00:16:50.640 --> 00:16:51.500 messages from 00:16:51.500 --> 00:16:52.500 mom and dad. 00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:53.740 One of them 00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:54.340 says, this is 00:16:54.340 --> 00:16:55.060 really important, 00:16:55.220 --> 00:16:55.660 you need to 00:16:55.660 --> 00:16:56.420 do this, we 00:16:56.420 --> 00:16:57.460 need to believe 00:16:57.460 --> 00:16:58.240 in Jesus, and 00:16:58.240 --> 00:16:58.840 the other says, 00:16:58.980 --> 00:17:01.040 yeah, kind of, 00:17:01.340 --> 00:17:02.560 but not really. 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:05.240 It affects the 00:17:05.240 --> 00:17:06.259 priorities of the 00:17:06.259 --> 00:17:06.860 marriage and the 00:17:06.860 --> 00:17:08.400 family, how you 00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:09.240 spend your time as 00:17:09.240 --> 00:17:10.519 a family, your 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:11.860 finances, and the 00:17:11.860 --> 00:17:12.559 list goes on. 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:14.659 A boyfriend or 00:17:14.659 --> 00:17:15.299 girlfriend might 00:17:15.299 --> 00:17:15.919 say, they don't 00:17:15.919 --> 00:17:17.059 care what you 00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:17.659 believe, they'll 00:17:17.659 --> 00:17:18.319 go along with 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:18.519 you. 00:17:19.700 --> 00:17:20.619 You can have 00:17:20.619 --> 00:17:21.500 faith and live 00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:22.200 for God however 00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:23.419 you want, I'll 00:17:23.419 --> 00:17:23.980 just go along 00:17:23.980 --> 00:17:24.399 with you. 00:17:25.259 --> 00:17:26.000 But if Christ 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.259 doesn't live in 00:17:27.259 --> 00:17:28.819 their heart, then 00:17:28.819 --> 00:17:29.519 it's like trying to 00:17:29.519 --> 00:17:30.220 have fellowship, 00:17:30.779 --> 00:17:31.339 light having 00:17:31.339 --> 00:17:32.419 fellowship with 00:17:32.419 --> 00:17:32.960 darkness. 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:34.799 That's what Paul 00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:35.480 says, it's like 00:17:35.480 --> 00:17:36.599 two different types 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:38.059 of animals pulling 00:17:38.059 --> 00:17:38.799 in opposite 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:40.379 directions, it 00:17:40.379 --> 00:17:40.960 won't work. 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.960 many marriages 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:43.740 blow apart 00:17:43.740 --> 00:17:45.200 because of this. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:47.299 Sometimes the 00:17:47.299 --> 00:17:48.200 unbelieving spouse 00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:49.000 will go along 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:49.759 with the believing 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:50.860 spouse for a 00:17:50.860 --> 00:17:51.180 while. 00:17:52.700 --> 00:17:53.559 Sometimes the 00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:54.920 believer will 00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:55.880 give up the 00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:56.600 fight and 00:17:56.600 --> 00:17:57.620 compromise even 00:17:57.620 --> 00:17:59.420 more, which has 00:17:59.420 --> 00:18:00.120 a devastating 00:18:00.120 --> 00:18:00.900 effect on the 00:18:00.900 --> 00:18:02.500 soul, and on 00:18:02.500 --> 00:18:03.779 the marriage, and 00:18:03.779 --> 00:18:04.400 on the children. 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:06.500 And so if you're 00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:07.340 not yet married, 00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:09.539 do not be 00:18:09.539 --> 00:18:10.400 yoked together. 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:11.480 with an 00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:12.100 unbeliever. 00:18:15.100 --> 00:18:16.120 Paul gives no 00:18:16.120 --> 00:18:16.700 middle ground 00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:17.019 here. 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:18.279 He says you're 00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:18.920 either a believer 00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:19.819 or you're not. 00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:20.299 You're an 00:18:20.299 --> 00:18:20.840 unbeliever. 00:18:21.319 --> 00:18:22.019 You're either a 00:18:22.019 --> 00:18:22.900 follower of Christ 00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:24.120 or a follower of 00:18:24.120 --> 00:18:25.340 the devil, Belial. 00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:26.860 There's only two 00:18:26.860 --> 00:18:27.299 camps. 00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:30.120 The devil is the 00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:31.140 default, though the 00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:31.740 world doesn't 00:18:31.740 --> 00:18:32.420 realize it. 00:18:33.500 --> 00:18:34.220 There's no 00:18:34.220 --> 00:18:34.799 middle ground. 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:36.860 Do not be 00:18:36.860 --> 00:18:37.259 yoked. 00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:37.860 Do not be 00:18:37.860 --> 00:18:38.640 joined or 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:39.279 mated or 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:40.340 mismatched with 00:18:40.339 --> 00:18:41.059 an unbeliever 00:18:41.059 --> 00:18:42.559 in dating or 00:18:42.559 --> 00:18:43.199 in marriage. 00:18:43.959 --> 00:18:44.799 It's far 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:45.639 better to stay 00:18:45.639 --> 00:18:47.000 single than 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:47.599 to be stuck 00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:48.240 together with 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:48.799 someone whose 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:49.539 heart cannot 00:18:49.539 --> 00:18:50.339 be one with 00:18:50.339 --> 00:18:51.519 yours in 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:51.899 Christ. 00:18:53.179 --> 00:18:54.119 So these are 00:18:54.119 --> 00:18:55.559 two things, 00:18:56.059 --> 00:18:56.939 two foundations 00:18:56.939 --> 00:18:58.099 for a good, 00:18:59.339 --> 00:18:59.779 solid, 00:19:00.439 --> 00:19:00.879 thriving, 00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:01.759 happy marriage 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:02.299 in a fallen 00:19:02.299 --> 00:19:02.740 world. 00:19:03.299 --> 00:19:04.240 Love God with 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:04.959 all your heart, 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:06.319 heart, with 00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:07.079 all your soul 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:08.140 and with all 00:19:08.140 --> 00:19:08.720 your mind, 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:10.019 and only say 00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:10.840 I do to 00:19:10.840 --> 00:19:11.460 someone who 00:19:11.460 --> 00:19:12.500 loves God 00:19:12.500 --> 00:19:13.000 like that 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:13.279 too. 00:19:14.380 --> 00:19:14.819 And then the 00:19:14.819 --> 00:19:15.500 last one for 00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:16.400 today, a 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:17.200 third foundation. 00:19:18.340 --> 00:19:19.019 Marriage was 00:19:19.019 --> 00:19:20.079 designed by God 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:21.400 to be a 00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:21.980 permanent 00:19:21.980 --> 00:19:23.039 covenant 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:23.880 union. 00:19:24.740 --> 00:19:25.340 A 00:19:25.340 --> 00:19:25.960 permanent 00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:27.120 covenant 00:19:27.120 --> 00:19:27.960 union. 00:19:27.960 --> 00:19:28.100 union. 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:30.720 Why do a 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:31.059 man and 00:19:31.059 --> 00:19:31.860 woman exchange 00:19:31.860 --> 00:19:33.319 vows at a 00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:33.559 wedding? 00:19:35.100 --> 00:19:35.940 Probably many 00:19:35.940 --> 00:19:36.880 people today think 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:37.259 it's just 00:19:37.259 --> 00:19:37.740 tradition. 00:19:39.420 --> 00:19:40.160 Something that 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:40.779 you say to 00:19:40.779 --> 00:19:41.319 show the other 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:41.880 person that 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:42.620 you're serious 00:19:42.620 --> 00:19:43.460 and that you 00:19:43.460 --> 00:19:44.240 really mean it 00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:45.200 and that this 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:45.840 is a special 00:19:45.840 --> 00:19:46.799 relationship that 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:47.340 you hope will 00:19:47.340 --> 00:19:47.740 last. 00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:51.160 Sadly, many 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:52.000 engaged couples 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:52.519 give little 00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:53.420 thought to their 00:19:53.420 --> 00:19:54.140 marriage vows. 00:19:54.140 --> 00:19:56.300 many of them 00:19:56.300 --> 00:19:57.340 just show up 00:19:57.340 --> 00:19:57.860 at the wedding 00:19:57.860 --> 00:19:59.740 and they're so 00:19:59.740 --> 00:20:00.720 focused on the 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:01.500 dress and the 00:20:01.500 --> 00:20:02.500 decorations and 00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:03.120 the flowers, 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:05.000 everything that's 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:05.560 going on. 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:06.000 And then they 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:06.680 have that moment 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:07.480 at the front with 00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:08.040 the officiating 00:20:08.040 --> 00:20:08.940 pastor where they 00:20:08.940 --> 00:20:09.940 repeat after him, 00:20:11.120 --> 00:20:11.780 hopefully I don't 00:20:11.780 --> 00:20:12.700 mess up my words. 00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:15.060 And a year later, 00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:16.540 do they even 00:20:16.540 --> 00:20:17.280 remember what they 00:20:17.280 --> 00:20:17.759 promised? 00:20:19.020 --> 00:20:20.120 What they vowed 00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:20.620 to the other 00:20:20.620 --> 00:20:21.040 person? 00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:23.320 We love those 00:20:23.320 --> 00:20:23.940 words for 00:20:23.940 --> 00:20:24.740 better or for 00:20:24.740 --> 00:20:26.539 worse, for 00:20:26.539 --> 00:20:28.120 richer or for 00:20:28.120 --> 00:20:29.799 poorer, in 00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:31.299 sickness and 00:20:31.299 --> 00:20:31.840 in health. 00:20:33.320 --> 00:20:34.000 But then how 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:34.820 many even 00:20:34.820 --> 00:20:35.680 stop to think 00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:36.600 seriously over 00:20:36.600 --> 00:20:37.480 what they mean? 00:20:39.180 --> 00:20:39.860 You are 00:20:39.860 --> 00:20:40.920 promising love 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:42.059 and loyalty no 00:20:42.059 --> 00:20:42.799 matter the 00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:43.980 circumstance and 00:20:43.980 --> 00:20:44.840 no matter the 00:20:44.840 --> 00:20:45.279 outcome. 00:20:46.600 --> 00:20:47.660 If men and 00:20:47.660 --> 00:20:48.480 women really 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:49.200 understood their 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:49.940 vows and took 00:20:49.940 --> 00:20:50.600 them seriously, 00:20:50.740 --> 00:20:51.480 would we even 00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:53.100 consider divorce 00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:54.039 divorce as an 00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:54.379 option? 00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:56.079 Wouldn't we 00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:57.279 seek every help 00:20:57.279 --> 00:20:58.119 from God and 00:20:58.119 --> 00:20:59.500 man to work 00:20:59.500 --> 00:20:59.819 through the 00:20:59.819 --> 00:21:00.519 conflict and 00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:01.240 fix what's 00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:01.980 become broken 00:21:01.980 --> 00:21:03.480 in a marriage? 00:21:03.480 --> 00:21:05.819 I think our 00:21:05.819 --> 00:21:07.039 culture is losing 00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.159 this understanding 00:21:08.159 --> 00:21:09.779 of marriage as a 00:21:09.779 --> 00:21:11.419 permanent covenant 00:21:11.419 --> 00:21:12.199 union. 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:14.620 what does 00:21:14.620 --> 00:21:15.799 permanent mean? 00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:17.740 What does 00:21:17.740 --> 00:21:18.840 till death do 00:21:18.840 --> 00:21:19.420 us part 00:21:19.420 --> 00:21:20.100 mean? 00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:22.240 This is the 00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:22.600 kind of 00:21:22.600 --> 00:21:23.120 relationship 00:21:23.120 --> 00:21:23.759 marriage was 00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:24.380 made to be. 00:21:25.580 --> 00:21:26.279 And the 00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:26.660 covenant 00:21:26.660 --> 00:21:27.940 nature of it 00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:28.640 isn't just 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:30.080 tradition, it 00:21:30.080 --> 00:21:30.740 comes from the 00:21:30.740 --> 00:21:31.039 Bible. 00:21:32.059 --> 00:21:32.980 It comes from 00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:33.299 God. 00:21:34.380 --> 00:21:35.180 There's lots of 00:21:35.180 --> 00:21:36.160 passages that talk 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:37.500 about it, or I 00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:38.299 should say several, 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.299 where we could 00:21:39.299 --> 00:21:40.240 see it, but we're 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:40.620 just going to 00:21:40.620 --> 00:21:41.160 look at one 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:41.940 quickly this 00:21:41.940 --> 00:21:42.259 morning. 00:21:42.660 --> 00:21:43.519 From the last 00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:44.319 Old Testament 00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:45.859 prophet, the 00:21:45.859 --> 00:21:46.539 book of 00:21:46.539 --> 00:21:47.099 Malachi. 00:21:49.019 --> 00:21:49.900 Malachi chapter 00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:50.940 2 verse 10, I'll 00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:51.559 read it and then 00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:52.779 we'll pull a couple 00:21:52.779 --> 00:21:53.559 things out of it. 00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:55.620 This is Malachi 00:21:55.620 --> 00:21:56.240 speaking. 00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:57.099 He says to the 00:21:57.099 --> 00:21:57.880 people of Israel, 00:21:57.880 --> 00:21:59.180 do we not all 00:21:59.180 --> 00:22:00.340 have one father? 00:22:01.320 --> 00:22:02.580 Did not one 00:22:02.580 --> 00:22:03.660 God create us? 00:22:04.940 --> 00:22:05.840 Why do we 00:22:05.840 --> 00:22:06.440 profane the 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:07.200 covenant of our 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:08.080 ancestors by 00:22:08.080 --> 00:22:09.220 being unfaithful 00:22:09.220 --> 00:22:09.900 to one another? 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:12.480 Judah has been 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:13.180 unfaithful. 00:22:14.460 --> 00:22:15.340 A detestable 00:22:15.340 --> 00:22:16.140 thing has been 00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:17.280 committed in 00:22:17.280 --> 00:22:18.960 Israel and in 00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:19.440 Jerusalem. 00:22:20.460 --> 00:22:21.080 Judah has 00:22:21.080 --> 00:22:22.120 desecrated the 00:22:22.120 --> 00:22:23.680 sanctuary the 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.340 Lord loves by 00:22:25.340 --> 00:22:26.120 marrying women 00:22:26.120 --> 00:22:27.180 who worship a 00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:27.820 foreign God. 00:22:29.420 --> 00:22:29.980 As for the 00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:30.620 man who does 00:22:30.620 --> 00:22:31.620 this, whoever 00:22:31.620 --> 00:22:33.140 he may be, may 00:22:33.140 --> 00:22:33.940 the Lord remove 00:22:33.940 --> 00:22:34.519 him from the 00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:35.400 tents of Jacob, 00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:37.180 even though he 00:22:37.180 --> 00:22:38.100 brings an offering 00:22:38.100 --> 00:22:38.880 to the Lord 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:39.320 Almighty. 00:22:41.019 --> 00:22:41.880 Another thing 00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:42.860 you do, you 00:22:42.860 --> 00:22:43.680 flood the Lord's 00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:44.600 altar with tears. 00:22:45.340 --> 00:22:46.299 You weep and 00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:47.720 wail because he 00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:48.500 no longer looks 00:22:48.500 --> 00:22:49.440 with favor on 00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:50.600 your offerings or 00:22:50.600 --> 00:22:51.820 accepts them with 00:22:51.820 --> 00:22:52.680 pleasure from your 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:53.140 hands. 00:22:53.140 --> 00:22:54.140 Godly, you 00:22:54.140 --> 00:22:56.600 ask, why? 00:22:56.600 --> 00:22:59.220 It is because the 00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:00.480 Lord is witness 00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:02.060 between you and 00:23:02.060 --> 00:23:02.740 the wife of your 00:23:02.740 --> 00:23:03.100 youth. 00:23:03.800 --> 00:23:05.040 You have been 00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:06.259 unfaithful to her, 00:23:06.620 --> 00:23:07.480 though she is 00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:09.020 your partner, the 00:23:09.020 --> 00:23:10.100 wife of your 00:23:10.100 --> 00:23:10.880 marriage covenant. 00:23:12.280 --> 00:23:13.580 Has not the one 00:23:13.580 --> 00:23:14.440 God made you? 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:16.440 You belong to him 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:17.360 in body and 00:23:17.360 --> 00:23:17.740 spirit. 00:23:17.740 --> 00:23:19.900 And what does 00:23:19.900 --> 00:23:20.579 the one God 00:23:20.579 --> 00:23:21.019 seek? 00:23:22.460 --> 00:23:23.579 Godly offspring. 00:23:25.259 --> 00:23:26.299 So be on your 00:23:26.299 --> 00:23:27.920 guard and do not 00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:28.920 be unfaithful to 00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:30.460 the wife of your 00:23:30.460 --> 00:23:30.819 youth. 00:23:31.700 --> 00:23:32.620 The man who 00:23:32.620 --> 00:23:34.120 hates and divorces 00:23:34.120 --> 00:23:35.579 his wife, says 00:23:35.579 --> 00:23:36.519 the Lord, the 00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:38.400 God of Israel, does 00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:39.480 violence to the 00:23:39.480 --> 00:23:40.099 one he should 00:23:40.099 --> 00:23:42.120 protect, says the 00:23:42.120 --> 00:23:42.799 Lord Almighty. 00:23:43.640 --> 00:23:44.640 So be on your 00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:45.660 guard and do not 00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:46.960 be unfaithful. 00:23:47.740 --> 00:23:51.880 Now this is a 00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:52.660 difficult place in 00:23:52.660 --> 00:23:53.400 the Bible to just 00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:54.220 jump in and start 00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:54.579 reading. 00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:55.559 You might be 00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:56.160 wondering what's 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:56.900 going on here, 00:23:57.460 --> 00:23:58.019 what God is 00:23:58.019 --> 00:23:58.720 talking about. 00:23:59.259 --> 00:24:00.099 There's been this 00:24:00.099 --> 00:24:01.519 long history of 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:02.480 relationship between 00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:03.299 God and the 00:24:03.299 --> 00:24:04.120 people of Israel. 00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:05.359 God has shown 00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:06.759 unbelievable patience 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:07.819 and kindness and 00:24:07.819 --> 00:24:09.019 mercy towards them. 00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:10.099 And yet the 00:24:10.099 --> 00:24:10.759 people of Israel 00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:11.620 on the whole are 00:24:11.620 --> 00:24:12.620 continuing to turn 00:24:12.620 --> 00:24:13.920 away from God. 00:24:15.180 --> 00:24:15.839 I'm not going to 00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:16.500 go over the whole 00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:17.660 story and all the 00:24:17.660 --> 00:24:18.140 details. 00:24:18.900 --> 00:24:19.840 But God sends 00:24:19.840 --> 00:24:20.980 this man, Malachi, 00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:22.320 to be his 00:24:22.320 --> 00:24:23.400 spokesperson to the 00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:25.259 people and to 00:24:25.259 --> 00:24:26.200 bring his message 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:26.720 to them. 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:27.920 And the overall 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:29.140 message of God to 00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:30.160 them is, you have 00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:31.120 been unfaithful to 00:24:31.120 --> 00:24:31.340 me. 00:24:32.279 --> 00:24:33.820 Repent and turn 00:24:33.820 --> 00:24:34.500 back to me. 00:24:34.620 --> 00:24:35.440 Return to me. 00:24:36.680 --> 00:24:37.340 And so here in 00:24:37.340 --> 00:24:38.880 chapter 2, God is 00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:39.460 speaking through 00:24:39.460 --> 00:24:40.519 Malachi and he's 00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:41.740 kind of telling them 00:24:41.740 --> 00:24:42.580 the hard truth. 00:24:43.220 --> 00:24:44.340 They have profaned 00:24:44.340 --> 00:24:45.440 the covenant that 00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:46.680 their ancestors made 00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:47.680 with God by doing 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:48.560 a number of wicked 00:24:48.560 --> 00:24:49.100 things. 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:51.080 And then he starts 00:24:51.080 --> 00:24:52.100 naming them and 00:24:52.100 --> 00:24:52.720 listing them. 00:24:53.640 --> 00:24:54.560 The descendants of 00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:55.320 Judah, he says, 00:24:55.360 --> 00:24:56.400 have married women 00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.060 who worship foreign 00:24:58.060 --> 00:24:58.519 gods. 00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:01.820 And then they try to 00:25:01.820 --> 00:25:02.880 appease the Lord by 00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:04.279 offering sacrifices to 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:05.039 him at the temple 00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:07.420 and almost like we 00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:08.100 haven't done anything 00:25:08.100 --> 00:25:09.039 wrong or if we have 00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:09.480 you could just 00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:10.259 forgive us, right? 00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:13.039 Malachi tells them 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:16.420 in verse 13 that 00:25:16.420 --> 00:25:17.539 God no longer looks 00:25:17.539 --> 00:25:18.400 with favor on their 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:20.379 offerings or accepts 00:25:20.379 --> 00:25:20.700 them. 00:25:23.379 --> 00:25:25.160 And the reason is 00:25:25.160 --> 00:25:27.059 given in verse 14. 00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:29.920 You ask why? 00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:30.879 It is because the 00:25:30.879 --> 00:25:31.559 Lord is witness 00:25:31.559 --> 00:25:32.559 between you and the 00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:33.440 wife of your youth. 00:25:34.259 --> 00:25:35.160 You have been 00:25:35.160 --> 00:25:36.500 unfaithful to her, 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:38.000 though she is your 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:40.259 partner, the wife of 00:25:40.259 --> 00:25:41.200 your marriage covenant. 00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:44.140 And so what the men 00:25:44.140 --> 00:25:45.140 of Judah have done, 00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:45.920 they were already 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:46.359 married. 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:48.539 They had wives of 00:25:48.539 --> 00:25:49.420 their youth, which 00:25:49.420 --> 00:25:50.500 wives from among 00:25:50.500 --> 00:25:51.319 their own people, 00:25:51.880 --> 00:25:53.480 and then they were 00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:54.480 unfaithful to those 00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:54.859 wives. 00:25:55.900 --> 00:25:57.319 They went and married 00:25:57.319 --> 00:25:58.380 other women from the 00:25:58.380 --> 00:26:00.039 pagan, idol-worshiping 00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:01.019 peoples around them. 00:26:01.019 --> 00:26:03.639 And there's really 00:26:03.639 --> 00:26:04.900 two massive problems 00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:05.440 with this. 00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:08.019 The first problem is 00:26:08.019 --> 00:26:08.639 what we were just 00:26:08.639 --> 00:26:09.359 talking about. 00:26:10.139 --> 00:26:10.960 The problem of 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:12.240 becoming unequally 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:14.000 yoked together with 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:14.700 someone who doesn't 00:26:14.700 --> 00:26:15.660 have the same faith 00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:16.059 as you. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:18.000 This is a massive 00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:18.500 problem. 00:26:19.079 --> 00:26:20.119 And if we go back in 00:26:20.119 --> 00:26:21.039 the story of Israel, 00:26:21.180 --> 00:26:22.119 we see that this has 00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:22.980 been a problem for 00:26:22.980 --> 00:26:23.500 centuries. 00:26:24.559 --> 00:26:26.299 Solomon himself is 00:26:26.299 --> 00:26:27.400 the most prominent 00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:28.359 example of it. 00:26:28.619 --> 00:26:29.559 Let me just read you a 00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:30.359 snippet from his 00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:31.559 story in 1 Kings 00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:32.419 chapter 11. 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:34.479 King Solomon, 00:26:34.659 --> 00:26:35.959 however, loved many 00:26:35.959 --> 00:26:38.059 foreign women besides 00:26:38.059 --> 00:26:38.919 Pharaoh's daughter, 00:26:39.679 --> 00:26:41.859 Moabites, Ammonites, 00:26:43.159 --> 00:26:44.759 Edomites, Sidonians, 00:26:44.879 --> 00:26:45.500 and Hittites. 00:26:46.579 --> 00:26:47.579 They were from nations 00:26:47.579 --> 00:26:48.519 about which the Lord 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:49.599 had told the Israelites, 00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:50.579 you must not 00:26:50.579 --> 00:26:51.539 intermarry with them 00:26:51.539 --> 00:26:52.179 because they will 00:26:52.179 --> 00:26:53.119 surely turn your 00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:54.259 hearts after their 00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:54.719 gods. 00:26:56.059 --> 00:26:58.039 Nevertheless, Solomon 00:26:58.039 --> 00:26:59.679 held fast to them in 00:26:59.679 --> 00:27:00.039 love. 00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:02.899 He had 700 wives of 00:27:02.899 --> 00:27:04.899 royal birth and 300 00:27:04.899 --> 00:27:06.639 concubines, and his 00:27:06.639 --> 00:27:08.859 wives led him astray. 00:27:09.959 --> 00:27:11.659 As Solomon grew old, 00:27:12.119 --> 00:27:13.619 wives turned his heart 00:27:13.619 --> 00:27:15.839 after other gods, and 00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:16.979 his heart was not fully 00:27:16.979 --> 00:27:18.179 devoted to the Lord his 00:27:18.179 --> 00:27:19.479 God as the heart of 00:27:19.479 --> 00:27:20.619 David his father had 00:27:20.619 --> 00:27:20.879 been. 00:27:21.899 --> 00:27:23.479 He followed Ashtoreth, 00:27:23.740 --> 00:27:24.799 the goddess of the 00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:27.000 Sidonians, and Molech, 00:27:27.399 --> 00:27:28.819 the detestable god of the 00:27:28.819 --> 00:27:29.399 Ammonites. 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:32.179 So Solomon did evil in the 00:27:32.179 --> 00:27:33.039 eyes of the Lord. 00:27:33.700 --> 00:27:35.099 He did not follow the 00:27:35.099 --> 00:27:37.519 Lord completely, as David 00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:38.879 his father had done. 00:27:39.639 --> 00:27:41.099 It goes on from there to 00:27:41.099 --> 00:27:42.439 describe the consequences 00:27:42.439 --> 00:27:44.200 of Solomon's actions. 00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:46.759 As punishment for this 00:27:46.759 --> 00:27:47.879 sin, God took the kingdom 00:27:47.879 --> 00:27:50.159 away from Solomon, except 00:27:50.159 --> 00:27:53.079 one or two tribes that was 00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:54.740 taken from his son. 00:27:54.740 --> 00:27:56.779 This sin of marrying all 00:27:56.779 --> 00:27:58.079 these wives who worshipped 00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:00.220 other gods is what led to 00:28:00.220 --> 00:28:02.460 the ruin of Solomon's great 00:28:02.460 --> 00:28:02.880 kingdom. 00:28:03.740 --> 00:28:04.859 It's what eventually led 00:28:04.859 --> 00:28:06.120 Israel to be punished by 00:28:06.120 --> 00:28:08.140 God later and go into 00:28:08.140 --> 00:28:08.720 exile. 00:28:10.220 --> 00:28:11.720 Now they've just come back 00:28:11.720 --> 00:28:13.279 into the land from exile not 00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:15.460 too long ago, and they're 00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:16.859 doing it again in the days of 00:28:16.859 --> 00:28:17.240 Malachi. 00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:17.400 Malachi. 00:28:17.819 --> 00:28:19.200 They're marrying women who 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:20.420 worship other gods. 00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:23.660 And if even the great wise 00:28:23.660 --> 00:28:25.420 King Solomon was not able to 00:28:25.420 --> 00:28:26.940 keep his heart devoted to the 00:28:26.940 --> 00:28:29.880 Lord, but compromised, so will 00:28:29.880 --> 00:28:31.339 these men in Malachi's day. 00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:33.920 Again, we see this clear 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:35.259 principle from God that we're 00:28:35.259 --> 00:28:37.259 not to be joined in marriage to 00:28:37.259 --> 00:28:38.960 those who don't share our faith 00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:39.440 in God. 00:28:40.420 --> 00:28:41.940 But that's just one of the 00:28:41.940 --> 00:28:42.400 problems. 00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:45.079 The second problem Malachi brings 00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:46.400 up is that these women who 00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:49.140 worship foreign gods are not 00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:50.180 their first wives. 00:28:51.060 --> 00:28:52.840 In order to get with these 00:28:52.840 --> 00:28:55.580 pagan women, what did they do? 00:28:56.540 --> 00:28:58.400 Glance down to verse 16. 00:29:00.259 --> 00:29:02.540 They divorced their first 00:29:02.540 --> 00:29:02.960 wives. 00:29:04.900 --> 00:29:06.519 These men, each of them, did 00:29:06.519 --> 00:29:08.200 not keep the marriage covenant 00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:09.519 they had made with the wife of 00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:09.920 their youth. 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:11.759 They divorced their first wives 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:13.320 so that they could marry these 00:29:13.320 --> 00:29:15.380 women who worship foreign gods. 00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:19.320 What God emphasizes here more 00:29:19.320 --> 00:29:20.680 than anything else is the 00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:23.180 unfaithfulness of this and the 00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:24.200 betrayal of this. 00:29:25.980 --> 00:29:28.340 You have been unfaithful to her 00:29:28.340 --> 00:29:30.700 though she is your partner, the 00:29:30.700 --> 00:29:33.540 wife of your marriage covenant. 00:29:33.539 --> 00:29:37.399 God saying, you made a covenant with 00:29:37.399 --> 00:29:37.599 her. 00:29:38.500 --> 00:29:40.279 You made solemn vows to her. 00:29:40.399 --> 00:29:42.359 She became your partner, your wife 00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:44.139 and you've betrayed her. 00:29:45.220 --> 00:29:47.039 You've broken your vows to her. 00:29:48.139 --> 00:29:49.379 You've been unfaithful. 00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:52.779 We look down to verse 16. 00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:57.440 God basically says, by divorcing her, 00:29:57.599 --> 00:30:00.220 you have hated the one that you 00:30:00.220 --> 00:30:01.180 pledged to love. 00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:05.160 By sending her away, you have done 00:30:05.160 --> 00:30:07.779 violence to the one that you should 00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:08.279 protect. 00:30:12.059 --> 00:30:14.200 The marriage relationship is a 00:30:14.200 --> 00:30:15.619 covenant relationship. 00:30:15.619 --> 00:30:17.919 We see that so clearly here. 00:30:18.979 --> 00:30:21.599 It's a relationship built on vows that 00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:23.539 are sworn to one another and 00:30:23.539 --> 00:30:24.599 witnessed by God. 00:30:25.299 --> 00:30:27.079 And this is what makes the 00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:28.199 relationship special. 00:30:28.779 --> 00:30:30.519 This is what makes the relationship 00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:31.159 permanent. 00:30:32.019 --> 00:30:33.119 It's the vows. 00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:36.719 It's that covenant between man and 00:30:36.719 --> 00:30:36.959 woman. 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:40.440 I think in our culture today, though, 00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:42.660 we've lost the meaning of covenant. 00:30:43.700 --> 00:30:45.759 Promises are made and broken all the 00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:46.079 time. 00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:49.480 Agreements are signed and agreements 00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:51.059 are broken all the time. 00:30:51.779 --> 00:30:53.840 We barely have an idea of what 00:30:53.840 --> 00:30:55.660 covenant is anymore. 00:30:57.779 --> 00:30:59.559 One of the ways that we can get back 00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:01.860 to the meaning of covenant is to go 00:31:01.860 --> 00:31:04.660 into the Bible and we can read the 00:31:04.660 --> 00:31:06.460 story of how God made a covenant 00:31:06.460 --> 00:31:07.220 with Abraham. 00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:08.819 We're not going to do that this 00:31:08.819 --> 00:31:09.100 morning. 00:31:09.220 --> 00:31:10.500 You can do that and see it in 00:31:10.500 --> 00:31:11.400 Genesis 15. 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:14.340 But basically, what they did in those 00:31:14.340 --> 00:31:16.120 days to make a covenant, they 00:31:16.120 --> 00:31:18.160 chopped a bunch of animals in half. 00:31:18.539 --> 00:31:19.880 And then they took the halves and 00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:20.779 separated them. 00:31:21.340 --> 00:31:23.200 They made their vows to each other. 00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:24.360 This is what I'm going to do. 00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:25.519 This is what I'm going to do. 00:31:25.860 --> 00:31:28.039 And then together, the two parties 00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:30.400 walked through the animal halves. 00:31:31.579 --> 00:31:33.340 And the symbolism of that was 00:31:33.340 --> 00:31:36.440 basically, if I fail to do that, 00:31:36.460 --> 00:31:38.640 to keep my promise to you, my vow to 00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:40.940 you, then may God do to me what we 00:31:40.940 --> 00:31:42.100 just did to these animals. 00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:47.600 That was the seriousness of covenant 00:31:47.600 --> 00:31:49.519 in the ancient times. 00:31:52.220 --> 00:31:54.059 It was the most serious form of 00:31:54.059 --> 00:31:55.640 agreement or promise you could make. 00:31:55.700 --> 00:31:57.480 You're basically binding yourselves 00:31:57.480 --> 00:31:59.600 to fulfill your promise by a curse. 00:31:59.600 --> 00:32:02.559 May God cut me in pieces if I fail to 00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:04.200 do what I have promised. 00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:07.559 And so obviously, you were very 00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:09.519 careful about what you promised 00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:11.559 when you entered into an arrangement 00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:12.200 like that. 00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:14.679 And you made every effort to do what 00:32:14.679 --> 00:32:16.139 you promised, no matter how things 00:32:16.139 --> 00:32:16.419 went. 00:32:17.639 --> 00:32:19.379 Now, of course, they didn't do this 00:32:19.379 --> 00:32:22.319 particular ancient ritual at weddings. 00:32:22.940 --> 00:32:25.319 But weddings also involved the making 00:32:25.319 --> 00:32:27.919 of a covenant between a man and a 00:32:27.919 --> 00:32:28.119 woman. 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:30.579 And that's why we have those wonderful 00:32:30.579 --> 00:32:32.839 words that we have in weddings today. 00:32:34.099 --> 00:32:37.219 I take you to be my wife or husband, 00:32:38.019 --> 00:32:39.879 to have and to hold from this day 00:32:39.879 --> 00:32:43.279 forward, for better or for worse, 00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:46.139 for richer or for poorer, 00:32:47.079 --> 00:32:49.359 in sickness and in health, 00:32:49.719 --> 00:32:52.379 to love and to cherish, 00:32:53.219 --> 00:32:56.519 forsaking all others till death do us part. 00:32:56.519 --> 00:32:59.819 These are the words of covenant. 00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:02.980 The most serious of vows that we can 00:33:02.980 --> 00:33:04.160 make to another person. 00:33:05.539 --> 00:33:07.220 That's what God was upset with the 00:33:07.220 --> 00:33:08.879 Israelites about in the days of 00:33:08.879 --> 00:33:09.279 Malachi. 00:33:11.879 --> 00:33:14.059 It is because the Lord is the witness 00:33:14.059 --> 00:33:15.779 between you and the wife of your 00:33:15.779 --> 00:33:16.160 youth. 00:33:16.700 --> 00:33:18.519 You have been unfaithful to her, 00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:20.160 though she is your partner, 00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:22.759 the wife of your marriage covenant. 00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:27.519 In other words, you made binding vows to 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:30.019 love and to be loyal to your first wife. 00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:33.480 And then you broke them when you 00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:35.140 divorced them so that you could marry 00:33:35.140 --> 00:33:35.500 another. 00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:39.920 And so this is foundation number three 00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:42.579 for a strong, healthy, thriving and 00:33:42.579 --> 00:33:44.339 happy marriage in a fallen world. 00:33:44.460 --> 00:33:46.420 We need to know that marriage was made 00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:47.140 to be permanent. 00:33:47.140 --> 00:33:50.200 We need to know that it's a covenant 00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:51.300 relationship. 00:33:52.820 --> 00:33:55.280 It's about persevering in faithfulness, 00:33:55.380 --> 00:33:57.040 no matter the troubles or trials, 00:33:57.560 --> 00:34:00.140 no matter the circumstances that face us. 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:04.400 Marriage, of course, is about love, 00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:08.140 but not the flimsy come and go feeling 00:34:08.140 --> 00:34:09.340 of love. 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:12.900 In the words of a favorite song of mine, 00:34:12.980 --> 00:34:14.920 marriage is about a love that's a 00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:18.860 loyalty sworn, not a burning for a 00:34:18.860 --> 00:34:19.200 moment. 00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:22.800 Marriage is built on the promise that 00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:24.280 God makes to his people. 00:34:25.579 --> 00:34:28.920 Come what may, I won't abandon you. 00:34:29.639 --> 00:34:32.539 I will never leave you or forsake you. 00:34:34.099 --> 00:34:36.000 So practically, what does that mean? 00:34:37.500 --> 00:34:39.099 It means that for those who are 00:34:39.099 --> 00:34:41.180 unmarried, dating is looking for the 00:34:41.180 --> 00:34:43.079 person who you will make that 00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:44.000 covenant with. 00:34:45.500 --> 00:34:47.179 Engagement is the process of 00:34:47.179 --> 00:34:49.059 preparing to make that covenant 00:34:49.059 --> 00:34:50.920 with the person that you've pledged 00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:51.599 yourself to. 00:34:52.940 --> 00:34:54.599 And for those of us who are already 00:34:54.599 --> 00:34:56.679 married, it means that there should be 00:34:56.679 --> 00:34:59.860 no romantic thought or attention 00:34:59.860 --> 00:35:02.319 given to others of the opposite sex. 00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:04.860 We have made our covenant. 00:35:05.059 --> 00:35:06.179 We have made our choice. 00:35:06.739 --> 00:35:09.039 We have sworn our love and loyalty to 00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:09.440 one. 00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:12.639 And deliberately going back on that is 00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:13.300 unfaithfulness. 00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:17.099 Very practically speaking, for those of 00:35:17.099 --> 00:35:19.940 you who are married, there are certain 00:35:19.940 --> 00:35:23.099 things that you can do, or I should say 00:35:23.099 --> 00:35:25.880 avoid doing, which will help in your 00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:26.320 marriage. 00:35:27.260 --> 00:35:30.599 No matter how tough things get or how 00:35:30.599 --> 00:35:33.639 deep the conflict, never threaten to 00:35:33.639 --> 00:35:34.659 divorce your spouse. 00:35:34.659 --> 00:35:38.639 Don't even mention or suggest it as an 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:38.980 option. 00:35:40.579 --> 00:35:43.239 Though the feelings may run hot, though 00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:47.619 anger burns, or the heart aches, though 00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:50.819 the tears flow, let your spouse be sure of 00:35:50.819 --> 00:35:51.399 one thing. 00:35:53.460 --> 00:35:55.859 That you meant what you said when you 00:35:55.859 --> 00:35:58.960 stood at the altar on your wedding day, and 00:35:58.960 --> 00:36:01.539 that you will not leave them or forsake 00:36:01.539 --> 00:36:01.799 them. 00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:05.320 There are certain things that when they 00:36:05.320 --> 00:36:08.900 are done or said, deeply hurt a spouse. 00:36:10.019 --> 00:36:11.760 And if we believe in marriage as a 00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:15.220 permanent covenant union, then we should 00:36:15.220 --> 00:36:16.380 never do these things. 00:36:16.860 --> 00:36:17.200 Ever. 00:36:18.340 --> 00:36:19.960 And if we've done them, we need to 00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:21.840 apologize to our spouses and let them 00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:23.539 know that by the grace of God, we'll 00:36:23.539 --> 00:36:25.760 never do them again. 00:36:27.039 --> 00:36:29.019 Never express to your spouse that you 00:36:29.019 --> 00:36:32.079 regret marrying them, or that you wish 00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:33.280 you could go back and choose 00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:33.780 differently. 00:36:35.300 --> 00:36:37.659 Never do anything that symbolizes your 00:36:37.659 --> 00:36:41.980 going back on your vows or your 00:36:41.980 --> 00:36:43.519 marriage, your word. 00:36:44.199 --> 00:36:45.880 Friends of mine years ago got into a 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:48.059 fight on their honeymoon, during which 00:36:48.059 --> 00:36:50.400 they yelled at each other, swore at each 00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:53.059 other, then took off their wedding 00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:54.559 rings and threw them at each other. 00:36:54.559 --> 00:36:58.440 I was amazed that their marriage lasted 00:36:58.440 --> 00:36:59.519 past that fight. 00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:03.500 Never do anything that symbolizes your 00:37:03.500 --> 00:37:04.860 going back on your word. 00:37:06.279 --> 00:37:08.779 Never even consider getting with another 00:37:08.779 --> 00:37:10.420 man or woman while you're married. 00:37:11.559 --> 00:37:13.619 Don't even allow yourself to entertain 00:37:13.619 --> 00:37:15.759 the thought for a moment of what it would 00:37:15.759 --> 00:37:17.579 be like to be married to someone else. 00:37:17.579 --> 00:37:21.079 There is no one else if you are married. 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:25.779 When you have marital conflict, it's 00:37:25.779 --> 00:37:28.000 sometimes needed to have some space and 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:31.619 time from each other, time to pray and 00:37:31.619 --> 00:37:33.759 time to think, time to cool off. 00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:39.099 If you leave the room from a fight, let 00:37:39.099 --> 00:37:41.179 your spouse know that you'd need time and 00:37:41.179 --> 00:37:42.719 space, but that you'll be back. 00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:47.559 In Ephesians 4.26, it says, 00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:50.359 Do not let the sun go down while you are 00:37:50.359 --> 00:37:53.119 still angry, and do not give the devil a 00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:53.559 foothold. 00:37:54.899 --> 00:37:56.899 If you leave the house after an argument 00:37:56.899 --> 00:38:00.039 or fight, always come back before 00:38:00.039 --> 00:38:00.539 tomorrow. 00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:03.759 The devil would love to ruin your 00:38:03.759 --> 00:38:04.179 marriage. 00:38:05.179 --> 00:38:06.619 Don't give him the opportunity. 00:38:07.879 --> 00:38:09.819 Think of what that communicates to a 00:38:09.819 --> 00:38:12.579 person when you leave the fight with no 00:38:12.579 --> 00:38:15.259 explanation, slam the door, get in the 00:38:15.259 --> 00:38:16.239 car and drive away. 00:38:17.779 --> 00:38:19.759 Think of what it communicates if a spouse 00:38:19.759 --> 00:38:21.679 begins packing their bags in the middle 00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:22.299 of an argument. 00:38:24.039 --> 00:38:25.920 God is witness between you and your 00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:29.099 spouse, and he desires faithfulness from 00:38:29.099 --> 00:38:31.579 each of you to the other, to the marriage 00:38:31.579 --> 00:38:32.860 covenant that you have made. 00:38:34.619 --> 00:38:37.319 So three foundations for a strong, 00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:38.719 healthy marriage. 00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:41.919 love God with all your heart. 00:38:43.339 --> 00:38:46.819 Only say, I do, to those who love God with 00:38:46.819 --> 00:38:47.599 all their heart. 00:38:48.399 --> 00:38:51.359 Do not be yoked with unbelievers, and stay 00:38:51.359 --> 00:38:53.279 faithful to the marriage covenant that you 00:38:53.279 --> 00:38:53.719 have made. 00:38:54.899 --> 00:38:57.639 Let's pray and ask the Lord for his grace in 00:38:57.639 --> 00:38:58.299 living us out. 00:38:58.300 --> 00:39:04.180 Father in heaven, we thank you for your wisdom that 00:39:04.180 --> 00:39:05.100 comes from your word. 00:39:06.660 --> 00:39:09.920 And we think of each marriage that's represented 00:39:09.920 --> 00:39:10.640 in this room. 00:39:11.200 --> 00:39:14.980 And we ask for your power to love our spouses the 00:39:14.980 --> 00:39:16.300 way that you have loved us. 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:23.660 Help us to keep our vows and to be faithful to one 00:39:23.659 --> 00:39:24.000 another. 00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:28.699 Lord, we also want to pray for those who are not 00:39:28.699 --> 00:39:30.480 yet married in this room. 00:39:31.019 --> 00:39:33.859 And we ask that you would raise their vision of 00:39:33.859 --> 00:39:37.440 marriage to something that resembles what you 00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:37.940 intended. 00:39:38.440 --> 00:39:41.940 That they would desire to be married in this kind 00:39:41.940 --> 00:39:45.000 of marriage that you have revealed, and not the 00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:46.659 kind that our world puts forward. 00:39:48.659 --> 00:39:51.259 We ask that you would give self-control and 00:39:51.260 --> 00:39:54.020 wisdom to our young people and our children as they 00:39:54.020 --> 00:39:55.380 begin to make those decisions. 00:39:56.680 --> 00:40:00.100 And as people come into their lives. 00:40:01.400 --> 00:40:04.400 Lord, we think of those whose marriages are in a 00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:06.380 really difficult spot right now. 00:40:07.380 --> 00:40:11.180 And we pray for every grace for them and for their 00:40:11.180 --> 00:40:11.540 spouses. 00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:15.140 And we ask that you would bring reconciliation and 00:40:15.140 --> 00:40:15.580 restoration. 00:40:15.579 --> 00:40:22.039 And we think of those whose marriages have come to an 00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:22.279 end. 00:40:23.639 --> 00:40:26.920 And we're reminded that our ultimate relationship for 00:40:26.920 --> 00:40:28.639 which we were made is the one with you. 00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:30.840 And we thank you for that. 00:40:32.319 --> 00:40:34.199 We just commit ourselves to your grace. 00:40:34.900 --> 00:40:35.799 In Jesus' name. 00:40:36.380 --> 00:40:36.619 Amen.