WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:13.300 We hope that you enjoy this teaching from Christchurch. This material is copyrighted and no unauthorized duplication, redistribution, or any other use of any part is permitted without prior consent from Christchurch. 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:20.500 Please consider donating to this work in the San Francisco Bay Area online at Christchurcheastbay.org. 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:29.060 Good morning. Let's see if I remember how to do this. 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:38.880 For those of you who haven't met yet, my name is Andrew, and like Jonathan said, I've been on sabbatical the past four months, and it's been awesome. 00:00:39.380 --> 00:00:48.359 But I know I've got a lot of catching up to do, so if I haven't met you yet, I would love to meet you, look forward to getting to know you, and reconnecting with the rest of you. 00:00:48.980 --> 00:00:55.799 And before I start, I just want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone, particularly our session, for letting me go off on this four-month sabbatical. 00:00:55.799 --> 00:01:01.640 Thank you to the staff and the deacons, the leaders who really took up a lot of my responsibilities. 00:01:02.179 --> 00:01:17.340 And thank you to really the whole church for celebrating this season for us, not letting us, making us feel too guilty about it, but just supporting us, being glad for us as we've been able to be away for really an amazing four months of, you know, living slow, living unhurried, 00:01:17.340 --> 00:01:22.600 living with way more margin, way more time to pray and to reflect. 00:01:22.820 --> 00:01:25.079 I got to play a lot more basketball. It was great. 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:31.400 We traveled a bunch, caught up with a lot of old friends, and not only did I finish my reading list, 00:01:31.780 --> 00:01:37.780 but I also finished the even longer honey-do list that Chelsea gave me, day one of my sabbatical. 00:01:37.780 --> 00:01:43.640 If you want to come to my house and drink some water, I just changed the water filter so you can come and enjoy that. 00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:47.040 But seriously, it's super good to be back. 00:01:47.340 --> 00:01:54.980 You know, I didn't feel burnt out going into the sabbatical, and I'm so thankful to this church for that, and I'm also not dreading coming back. 00:01:55.060 --> 00:01:58.980 In fact, Chelsea and I are both quite ready to be back with our church family. 00:02:00.099 --> 00:02:05.879 You know, in the past 17 weeks, I visited 20 churches in the past 17 weeks. 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:10.199 And, you know, while it was nice to show up and not have any responsibility, 00:02:10.900 --> 00:02:16.960 Chelsea and I are really coming back with, like, a renewed appreciation for what God's doing here at Christ Church 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:21.460 and the unique way God's called us to be the church here in the Bay Area. 00:02:21.659 --> 00:02:23.719 So we're ready. Let's go, right? 00:02:24.859 --> 00:02:32.699 Now, Jonathan had originally had me preaching and starting our next series, our fall series in Exodus, 00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:34.800 focusing on the Ten Commandments. 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:40.780 But I was like, could I just do a one-off on my first Sunday back, preach something from my heart? 00:02:41.260 --> 00:02:44.060 And so that's why we're in Psalm 131 today. 00:02:44.180 --> 00:02:47.180 And it's not necessarily because I think it's what you all need. 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:49.700 I don't know where you're all at at this moment. 00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:51.040 I hope to find out soon. 00:02:51.820 --> 00:02:54.480 But Psalm 131 was what I needed. 00:02:55.380 --> 00:02:56.200 Psalm 131. 00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:00.980 Charles Spurgeon called this one of the shortest psalms to read, 00:03:01.340 --> 00:03:03.200 but one of the longest to learn. 00:03:03.199 --> 00:03:10.399 And I basically spent the last 17 weeks trying to preach this psalm to myself and into my heart. 00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:13.019 Because sabbatical, it was amazing. 00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:14.859 It was truly great. 00:03:14.939 --> 00:03:17.079 One of the greatest gifts I've ever received. 00:03:17.319 --> 00:03:23.759 I'd go on these long, long walks every day, at least an hour, with God and with my dog Sammy. 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:31.139 And, you know, on these walks, sometimes I could barely think of what to even say to God other than, thank you. 00:03:31.899 --> 00:03:32.560 Thank you, God. 00:03:32.620 --> 00:03:33.739 This is amazing. 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:34.780 I don't deserve this. 00:03:35.159 --> 00:03:36.439 Thank you for everything. 00:03:37.099 --> 00:03:38.199 And not just the sabbatical. 00:03:38.299 --> 00:03:39.699 My kids are happy and healthy. 00:03:40.259 --> 00:03:43.439 My wife and I are happily employed. 00:03:44.079 --> 00:03:45.639 We own a home in the Bay Area. 00:03:45.639 --> 00:03:48.199 We have everything we need and more. 00:03:48.559 --> 00:03:51.059 And relationally, we are ridiculously blessed. 00:03:51.239 --> 00:03:55.539 My parents, my brother, my sister, our spouses, we actually like each other. 00:03:55.959 --> 00:03:57.559 And we all live in the same town. 00:03:57.659 --> 00:04:00.199 We get to see each other multiple times a month. 00:04:00.339 --> 00:04:04.919 And we love living life together, raising our kids to love Christ together. 00:04:05.119 --> 00:04:09.060 I often feel like I'm living Job's life before all the bad things happened. 00:04:09.060 --> 00:04:22.540 And, you know, there just were so many moments during my sabbatical when I truly thought, I had this actual thought that, you know, I can't think of a single person in the entire world that I would trade lives with. 00:04:23.019 --> 00:04:24.480 Isn't that something to be able to say? 00:04:25.180 --> 00:04:26.399 That's a blessed life. 00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:27.660 That's a rich life. 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:30.660 I can't think of anyone else who I'd trade lives with. 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:32.639 Steph Curry's kind of close. 00:04:34.259 --> 00:04:36.800 But I wouldn't want to give up my basketball skills, right? 00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:43.620 So, seriously though, I just kept having this thought that it didn't have to be this way. 00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:49.379 This spirit of gratitude that this life that I have, it wasn't inevitable. 00:04:50.220 --> 00:04:52.780 So, over and over again, I found myself praying, thank you, God. 00:04:53.100 --> 00:04:54.720 I don't deserve this. 00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:56.939 But here's the thing that surprised me. 00:04:57.660 --> 00:05:04.580 At almost the exact moment when my gratitude would peak, guilt would show up right on its heels. 00:05:04.579 --> 00:05:08.379 Thoughts like, why do I get all this? 00:05:09.180 --> 00:05:17.860 Why do I get 17 weeks off where everyone else, Chelsea, my ministry colleagues, the rest of my congregation, they're back at the grind on Monday? 00:05:18.740 --> 00:05:26.659 And why do I get to travel and rest and play and feast when pastors elsewhere, like in China, they don't get a break? 00:05:26.660 --> 00:05:29.280 They're fearing raids, right? 00:05:29.320 --> 00:05:31.700 Police raids or imprisonment. 00:05:32.500 --> 00:05:34.680 Why did I get such an amazing family? 00:05:35.200 --> 00:05:36.520 Such an amazing upbringing? 00:05:36.700 --> 00:05:38.800 So many resources, so much opportunity. 00:05:39.020 --> 00:05:42.860 What did I do to deserve any of this life? 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:45.860 And of course, the answer is nothing. 00:05:46.840 --> 00:05:54.379 So, what I experienced in these many moments of reflection was that somehow the more blessed I felt, the more responsible I felt. 00:05:55.280 --> 00:05:56.660 My prayers would go something like this. 00:05:56.720 --> 00:05:58.060 Thank you, God, for fill in the blank. 00:05:58.100 --> 00:06:00.879 And then almost immediately, so what do you want me to do with it, God? 00:06:02.340 --> 00:06:03.199 What do you want me to do with it? 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:07.840 How do you want me to steward it, share it, redistribute it, multiply it, convert it into fruit? 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:14.060 And like every single thank you would quickly turn around into, but now what am I supposed to produce? 00:06:15.239 --> 00:06:18.019 And you know, I think that what was underneath that was a fear. 00:06:18.099 --> 00:06:24.199 A fear that maybe I would be the kind of servant who received the five talents and yielded zero. 00:06:25.079 --> 00:06:27.579 The prodigal who wasted his father's estate. 00:06:27.579 --> 00:06:37.939 I think I live with this constant burden and fear of being someone who has so clearly been given so much and yet has shamefully produced so little. 00:06:38.539 --> 00:06:39.939 So little to show for it. 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:44.479 And maybe some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. 00:06:44.740 --> 00:06:49.120 You look at your life and your gratitude turns into guilt in like a millisecond. 00:06:49.919 --> 00:06:52.599 You also own a home in the San Francisco Bay Area. 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:53.740 You have plenty of savings. 00:06:54.219 --> 00:06:55.659 Your kids are doing well. 00:06:55.660 --> 00:06:57.640 You can travel several times a year. 00:06:57.939 --> 00:07:01.860 And a comfortable retirement is something you're expecting or maybe already enjoying. 00:07:02.880 --> 00:07:04.220 But then you look around, right? 00:07:04.840 --> 00:07:07.500 And not everyone is thriving quite like you. 00:07:08.280 --> 00:07:10.540 There are those who are grieving the loss of their children. 00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:13.379 Grieving that they're unable to have children. 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:19.940 You read about war and hunger and disease and violence and poverty and displacement and disaster across the globe. 00:07:20.220 --> 00:07:23.560 And you think, it didn't have to be this way for me. 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:27.259 Why did I get this life and not that one? 00:07:28.019 --> 00:07:37.399 And perhaps you even meet certain others who have far less than you and yet who seem to be giving, serving, contributing, and producing far more than you. 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:41.379 And your gratitude, it starts to become an audit. 00:07:41.579 --> 00:07:42.359 Am I doing enough? 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:42.919 Giving enough? 00:07:43.219 --> 00:07:43.959 Contributing enough? 00:07:44.039 --> 00:07:44.759 Producing enough? 00:07:45.019 --> 00:07:47.959 In light of everything I've been given, shouldn't I be a better spouse? 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:49.339 A better student? 00:07:49.459 --> 00:07:50.319 A better parent? 00:07:50.419 --> 00:07:51.039 A better child? 00:07:51.139 --> 00:07:52.139 A better employee? 00:07:52.279 --> 00:07:52.819 A better neighbor? 00:07:52.939 --> 00:07:53.939 A better Christian? 00:07:54.939 --> 00:07:58.719 Shouldn't I be living a more worthwhile life? 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:02.300 And that became the question of my sabbatical. 00:08:02.420 --> 00:08:05.160 What does a worthwhile life actually look like? 00:08:05.320 --> 00:08:10.980 And more painfully, how could I ever even know that I had not wasted what I'd been given? 00:08:11.820 --> 00:08:14.080 I found myself praying prayers like, God, just tell me. 00:08:14.440 --> 00:08:15.900 Just tell me how much money you want me to give. 00:08:15.940 --> 00:08:16.460 How much time? 00:08:16.700 --> 00:08:17.720 How much service? 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:18.720 How much sacrifice? 00:08:18.860 --> 00:08:19.380 I'll do it. 00:08:19.420 --> 00:08:25.320 Just tell me exactly what that number is so I can finally know I'm not wasting my life. 00:08:25.319 --> 00:08:33.600 You know, early on in my sabbatical, Jonathan suggested that I start my sabbatical with a 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:35.500 solo retreat and then I end with a solo retreat. 00:08:35.659 --> 00:08:39.120 So I took a few days completely alone with God at Mount Hermon. 00:08:39.779 --> 00:08:45.840 Three nights, no kids, no work, no screens, no podcasts, no Wi-Fi, just me, God, my Bible, 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:47.240 and my guitar. 00:08:48.439 --> 00:08:50.539 And I'd never done anything like that before. 00:08:51.100 --> 00:08:53.700 So naturally, I tried to optimize it. 00:08:53.700 --> 00:08:59.160 And I sent this ridiculous email to a bunch of people that I respect saying, you know, 00:08:59.220 --> 00:09:00.300 hey, what should I pray about? 00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:02.220 Do you have any prayers that you would suggest to me? 00:09:02.460 --> 00:09:04.960 Any scriptures you would have me meditate upon? 00:09:05.020 --> 00:09:07.580 Any spiritual practices I should try out? 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:10.940 And then I had a bunch of questions for God like, what are my blind spots? 00:09:11.040 --> 00:09:15.000 How can I grow as a leader, as a husband, as a pastor, as a dad, as a friend? 00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:19.480 What do you want from me in this season and the next season of life and ministry? 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:26.480 But basically, what I was seeking was how do I make the most of three days with God so 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:28.340 I don't come home empty-handed? 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:34.060 And so one of our deacons, Josh, you know him well, he wrote back to me and basically 00:09:34.060 --> 00:09:34.899 he rebuked me. 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:36.340 He rebuked me hard. 00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:38.060 It was a long email, all right? 00:09:38.620 --> 00:09:42.600 And basically, if I could put it in a nutshell, it was bro, chill. 00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:43.080 Right? 00:09:44.659 --> 00:09:48.960 He said, why do you have to get something out of being with God for three days? 00:09:49.040 --> 00:09:51.700 Why can't being with God be enough? 00:09:53.139 --> 00:09:53.940 He's enough. 00:09:54.980 --> 00:09:56.540 And man, that got me. 00:09:57.500 --> 00:10:05.120 Even, you know, even my sabbatical had become an Andrew Ong self-improvement project, right? 00:10:05.899 --> 00:10:10.200 Even time alone with God had become another technique for leveling up. 00:10:10.200 --> 00:10:16.460 You know, Brene Brown, she has this line where she says that when worthiness, when worthiness 00:10:16.460 --> 00:10:20.920 is a function of productivity, we lose the ability to pump the brakes. 00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:24.620 And she warns of equating productivity and self-worth. 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:26.440 And man, that was totally me. 00:10:26.860 --> 00:10:29.940 I was measuring the worth of my life by its yield. 00:10:30.620 --> 00:10:34.560 In every moment, I couldn't just be present to the moment, receive it as a gift from God, 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:39.140 but I found myself constantly looking for ways to squeeze yield and product and outcome 00:10:39.139 --> 00:10:45.159 an advantage out of every experience, convinced that a worthwhile life was a life that wasted 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:45.740 nothing. 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:51.679 Didn't waste any moment, didn't waste any opportunity, didn't waste any gift from God. 00:10:52.439 --> 00:10:57.620 And this is why Psalm 131 became such a timely word for my soul. 00:10:58.659 --> 00:11:03.639 Because David, he gives us a very different picture of a worthwhile life. 00:11:03.639 --> 00:11:06.480 Look at what David says in verse 1. 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:07.899 This is how he begins the psalm. 00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:12.899 O Lord, O Yahweh, my heart is not lifted up. 00:11:13.419 --> 00:11:15.199 My eyes are not raised too high. 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:19.480 I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. 00:11:20.620 --> 00:11:21.919 Now remember, this is David. 00:11:22.919 --> 00:11:24.840 The one who slayed Goliath. 00:11:25.259 --> 00:11:27.539 The warrior, the king, the poet, the musician. 00:11:27.659 --> 00:11:32.179 One of the most gifted, consequential humans in Israel's history. 00:11:32.179 --> 00:11:38.339 Psalm 131 isn't saying godly people never dream, never dream big, never attempt great things 00:11:38.339 --> 00:11:38.739 for God. 00:11:38.859 --> 00:11:40.819 David did enormous things. 00:11:41.859 --> 00:11:43.799 But listen to his posture before God. 00:11:44.459 --> 00:11:48.879 Listen to his posture before Yahweh, the I am, the maker of heaven and earth. 00:11:49.739 --> 00:11:51.259 My heart is not lifted up. 00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:55.939 I do not have a spirit of self-importance. 00:11:56.740 --> 00:11:59.899 I'm not going to consider myself better than others. 00:12:00.539 --> 00:12:01.679 I'm going to stay in my lane. 00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:03.019 My eyes are not raised too high. 00:12:03.059 --> 00:12:08.299 I'm not constantly looking to fulfill my ever-growing desires. 00:12:09.659 --> 00:12:13.319 My eyes aren't looking to simply satisfy all my fleshly desires. 00:12:14.359 --> 00:12:19.219 Then he says, I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. 00:12:19.259 --> 00:12:22.939 In other words, God is God and David is not. 00:12:23.620 --> 00:12:25.459 David is simply David. 00:12:26.079 --> 00:12:28.559 And David is making peace here with that arrangement. 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:29.559 God is the creator. 00:12:29.899 --> 00:12:30.879 David is the creature. 00:12:31.019 --> 00:12:31.959 And thus, David has limits. 00:12:32.179 --> 00:12:33.139 God-given limits. 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:38.739 Which also means that there are a ton of things that God and only God is responsible for that 00:12:38.739 --> 00:12:39.519 David isn't. 00:12:40.079 --> 00:12:45.379 And David is here stating, he's confessing quite happily, quite peacefully, the reality of 00:12:45.379 --> 00:12:49.479 his finitude and his limitations as a creature before his creator. 00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:55.820 Now again, this doesn't mean ambition is wrong or desiring to do great and even seemingly impossible 00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:57.000 things is wrong. 00:12:57.399 --> 00:13:02.440 In the very next Psalm, Psalm 132, actually, David's huge ambition to build a temple for 00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:04.080 the Lord, it's celebrated. 00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:05.060 It's honored. 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:06.639 In the next Psalm, just over. 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:09.899 That was a good, God-honoring ambition. 00:13:09.899 --> 00:13:14.139 And yet, if you know the story, God says, no thanks, David. 00:13:14.939 --> 00:13:16.519 That job's not for you. 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:19.319 And then God makes this amazing reversal. 00:13:19.459 --> 00:13:23.579 After David says, God, let me build you a house, God says, no, David, I'm going to build 00:13:23.579 --> 00:13:24.720 you a house. 00:13:25.659 --> 00:13:26.340 Isn't that beautiful? 00:13:27.340 --> 00:13:31.379 David wanted to do something great for God and God told him, no. 00:13:32.079 --> 00:13:33.779 Not because it was a bad thing. 00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:35.939 It just wasn't David's thing to do. 00:13:35.940 --> 00:13:42.540 And this was huge for me, that not every good thing that could be done is a good thing God 00:13:42.540 --> 00:13:44.440 has given me to do. 00:13:45.060 --> 00:13:49.720 Remember the Apostle Paul's words in Ephesians chapter 2, that we are his workmanship, right? 00:13:49.720 --> 00:13:55.420 His masterpieces created in Christ Jesus, yes, for many kinds of good works, but which kinds? 00:13:56.080 --> 00:14:02.260 Only the kinds he specifically and variously prepared for each of us to do. 00:14:02.259 --> 00:14:06.159 So this is what David is surrendering to in Psalm 131. 00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:10.539 He's not suppressing his ambition, but he's surrendering it to the Lord. 00:14:10.700 --> 00:14:14.220 The takeaway of this Psalm isn't that God's people should never dream big, take risks, 00:14:14.340 --> 00:14:17.580 or pursue difficult and extraordinary things for the Lord. 00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:21.019 No, the point of Psalm 131 is that they don't have to. 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:27.439 They don't have to fulfill those dreams, make returns on those risks, or accomplish great 00:14:27.439 --> 00:14:30.399 things to earn their worth and to earn peace with God. 00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:35.299 In the presence of his God, David doesn't feel the need to perform or produce, doesn't feel 00:14:35.299 --> 00:14:42.120 the need to ascend in status, to impress his deity through this or that great wondrous accomplishment. 00:14:43.100 --> 00:14:48.840 In God's presence, King David resolves to stay in his lane and live within his God-given 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:49.319 limits. 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:56.199 And I wonder if that's as much a word for you as it has been for me over these past 17 weeks. 00:14:56.200 --> 00:15:00.300 These past 17 weeks have allowed me to reckon with my limits. 00:15:00.420 --> 00:15:02.040 That's a third of a year, right? 00:15:02.900 --> 00:15:05.620 And it still wasn't enough to get all the stuff done I wanted. 00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:08.480 I had a whole list of people I wanted to meet up with. 00:15:08.580 --> 00:15:13.140 I had 35 heart-to-hearts with just old friends, people I love, people I wanted to catch up with. 00:15:13.640 --> 00:15:15.500 I still didn't see everyone I wanted to see. 00:15:16.040 --> 00:15:17.740 Didn't read everything I wanted to read. 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:19.220 Didn't accomplish every fitness goal. 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:20.860 Didn't pray everything I wanted to pray. 00:15:20.860 --> 00:15:24.120 Definitely, my inbox didn't go to zero, all right? 00:15:24.779 --> 00:15:30.060 17 weeks was really only enough time for me to discover that I will never have enough time. 00:15:30.919 --> 00:15:34.800 At least not if my goal is to do everything that I think is worth doing. 00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:40.879 See, our culture trains us to experience every limit as a problem waiting for a solution. 00:15:41.019 --> 00:15:41.460 You're tired? 00:15:42.580 --> 00:15:43.279 Hack your sleep. 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.019 You're busy, optimize your calendar. 00:15:45.539 --> 00:15:46.899 You're aging, biohack it. 00:15:46.980 --> 00:15:47.680 You don't have enough. 00:15:47.940 --> 00:15:48.800 You don't know enough. 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:51.599 Just consume more information. 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:54.240 And look, I'm not anti-tech. 00:15:54.419 --> 00:15:55.399 I love efficiency. 00:15:55.639 --> 00:15:56.620 I love getting stuff done. 00:15:56.659 --> 00:16:01.939 But we need to name and challenge the often unexamined assumption that every limit we face 00:16:01.939 --> 00:16:03.759 is a negative barrier. 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:09.599 An obstacle in the way of us becoming the best versions of ourselves and experiencing the best 00:16:09.599 --> 00:16:11.219 versions of our lives. 00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:16.899 You know, in his book, The Emotionally Healthy Church, Pete Cicero writes that maturity in life 00:16:16.899 --> 00:16:21.699 is when someone is living joyfully within their God-given limits. 00:16:22.279 --> 00:16:24.819 And he often likes to say that our limits are our calling. 00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:25.459 I love that. 00:16:26.259 --> 00:16:30.539 Because somewhere along the way, we've started assuming that every limit is an enemy and a problem. 00:16:31.220 --> 00:16:32.819 But what if it isn't? 00:16:32.820 --> 00:16:38.220 I love how the theologian Kelly Capic, he puts in his book, You're Only Human, he writes this. 00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:39.820 Who can have it all? 00:16:40.580 --> 00:16:42.280 We laugh because it is ludicrous. 00:16:42.379 --> 00:16:48.780 But even as we chuckle, we plan our next day with the expectation that we can and will excel at our job, 00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:52.300 spend quality time with our family, renew our bodies through physical fitness, 00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:54.340 eat healthy meals, do the laundry, 00:16:54.340 --> 00:17:00.120 and in the middle of all this, we expect to be joyful, patient, interesting, and kind. 00:17:01.060 --> 00:17:05.740 Very few of us lay our heads on the pillow at night and feel that we have conquered the day. 00:17:06.140 --> 00:17:07.539 It just doesn't happen, does it? 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:10.980 Often we find ourselves feeling that we are failing at everything. 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:13.940 Instead of crushing the day, we feel crushed by it. 00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:18.519 Trying to have it all, all at once, sets us up for frustration and failure. 00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:24.779 Many of us fail to understand that our limitations are a gift from God and therefore good. 00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:30.599 See, if we continue to tie our productivity to our sense of worth, 00:17:31.139 --> 00:17:35.319 every limit we run up against will feel like a moral failure, right? 00:17:35.480 --> 00:17:37.240 A mark, a stain on our identity. 00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:39.859 But that's a losing game from the start. 00:17:39.940 --> 00:17:42.779 It's a guaranteed ticket to burnout on the hamster wheel. 00:17:42.900 --> 00:17:45.900 God never intended for us to be limitless. 00:17:45.900 --> 00:17:50.480 And yet we so often try to live with limited limits. 00:17:51.700 --> 00:17:53.320 Some of you remember Jesse Robinson. 00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:54.920 He came to preach here a couple weeks ago. 00:17:55.019 --> 00:17:56.420 He's become a really good friend of mine. 00:17:56.540 --> 00:18:01.600 We try to get together every month or so to pray, to confess sin, to encourage each other. 00:18:02.340 --> 00:18:06.880 And, you know, I was just sharing with him all that I've been processing throughout my sabbatical. 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:11.380 Confessing to him how stingy I still find myself to be with my time. 00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:19.000 And it's because I have this inner belief that if I just had more time, I could accomplish so much more. 00:18:19.100 --> 00:18:20.120 This or that, right? 00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:26.760 And he helped me realize that, man, not only is that such a privileged thing to believe about myself. 00:18:26.860 --> 00:18:30.060 He often, like, calls me out for being such an ableist, right? 00:18:30.059 --> 00:18:36.319 And he pointed out that, wow, this guy, he feels like his only obstacle is time. 00:18:36.539 --> 00:18:43.139 That's his biggest problem and obstacle, just not having the time he wants to accomplish all he seeks to do. 00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:45.599 But he also, he called me out. 00:18:45.700 --> 00:18:51.440 He got me to see that my belief, that if I just had enough time, I'd get everything I wanted done. 00:18:52.299 --> 00:18:56.500 He said, man, that sounds pretty close to godlike omnipotence. 00:18:56.500 --> 00:19:05.160 Like, somehow, the only thing standing between me and a perfect me, perfect life, is six more hours a week. 00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:07.259 But that's a lie. 00:19:08.339 --> 00:19:10.660 Our limits are not defects for a human being. 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:12.359 Limits are a feature, not a bug. 00:19:13.099 --> 00:19:16.480 And maybe instead of always praying, God, why can't I do all these things? 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:19.779 What if we started praying, thank you, God, that I don't have to? 00:19:19.779 --> 00:19:30.180 Because if a worthwhile life means doing everything, every worthwhile thing, then a worthwhile life is an impossible life. 00:19:30.980 --> 00:19:33.799 And that cannot be what God wants for us, his children. 00:19:34.279 --> 00:19:36.779 Constant anxiety over our limits. 00:19:36.899 --> 00:19:41.019 No, he wants us to discover the liberty within our limits. 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:43.379 But the question is how, right? 00:19:43.380 --> 00:19:50.200 Because it's one thing to say intellectually, okay, I'm finite, I have limits. 00:19:50.800 --> 00:19:54.220 But it's another thing to be emotionally okay with that, right? 00:19:54.900 --> 00:20:01.260 Like when the limits actually start to limit us when we run out of time and energy and access and money and ability. 00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:04.640 How do we not become restless and anxious? 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:07.160 Well, that's where verse two comes in. 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:15.160 David says, but I have calmed and quieted my soul like a weaned child with its mother. 00:20:15.660 --> 00:20:17.920 Like a weaned child is my soul within me. 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:20.779 That first word's super important. 00:20:21.259 --> 00:20:21.580 But. 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:30.060 He says, I don't occupy myself with things too great and marvelous for me, but I have instead calmed and quieted my soul. 00:20:31.220 --> 00:20:34.500 Now, if that was all David said, honestly, that'd be pretty annoying. 00:20:34.500 --> 00:20:38.700 Like, okay, David, just turn that anxiety off, flip that switch, right? 00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:41.579 Enter calm mode, sure sounds nice. 00:20:42.759 --> 00:20:45.839 But David's not giving us a program or practice. 00:20:45.900 --> 00:20:48.299 He's not giving us some spiritual technique. 00:20:48.900 --> 00:20:55.259 He's giving us a picture and a posture of a child resting with its mother. 00:20:56.700 --> 00:20:57.940 Notice what he doesn't picture. 00:20:57.980 --> 00:21:02.259 He doesn't picture a king looking at all his accomplishments and saying, a pretty good career. 00:21:02.259 --> 00:21:05.259 Top 5% ancient Near Eastern monarch. 00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:06.359 I'll take that. 00:21:07.539 --> 00:21:11.960 His soul is not quiet because he's finally determined that his output is acceptable. 00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:15.379 No, he just pictures a child basically doing nothing. 00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:17.960 Nothing but being held. 00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:20.619 Specifically, a weaned child. 00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:25.480 Because see, a nursing baby experiences mom largely through what mom provides. 00:21:25.980 --> 00:21:26.579 Me hungry. 00:21:26.779 --> 00:21:27.359 I cry. 00:21:28.019 --> 00:21:28.680 Mommy comes. 00:21:28.940 --> 00:21:29.519 Gives me milk. 00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:30.480 Problem solved. 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:34.059 There's almost a transactional nature to it, right? 00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:36.940 Hit the cry button and the human milk machine produces. 00:21:38.259 --> 00:21:45.579 But the weaned child in Psalm 131 is resting with mom when no milk is coming. 00:21:46.339 --> 00:21:48.700 Mom has become more than what mom provides. 00:21:49.140 --> 00:21:51.579 Her presence itself is precious. 00:21:51.579 --> 00:21:56.799 And I think this is one of God's invitations to me during sabbatical. 00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:05.000 Andrew, can time with me be more than technique for becoming a better pastor, better dad, husband, and Christian? 00:22:05.179 --> 00:22:07.119 Can my presence be your portion? 00:22:07.379 --> 00:22:12.059 Can you come and rest and receive simply as my son and nothing less or more? 00:22:12.059 --> 00:22:21.940 God's been awakening me to see that maybe the picture of a worthwhile life isn't a life with an impressive ROI relative to all my privilege. 00:22:22.059 --> 00:22:25.819 Maybe it's a life lived in the embrace of the Father. 00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:29.619 And so this became my mantra throughout the sabbatical. 00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:31.799 Sonship before stewardship. 00:22:31.799 --> 00:22:35.039 Receptivity before productivity. 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:37.839 Not because stewardship doesn't matter. 00:22:37.940 --> 00:22:39.220 Not because productivity is bad. 00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:48.240 But because if I get that order wrong and make stewardship the way I prove myself as worthy, as a worthy son, then I've totally missed the heart of God. 00:22:48.859 --> 00:22:51.599 And isn't this what Jesus shows us in the story of the prodigal son, right? 00:22:51.659 --> 00:22:56.559 The younger son takes his inheritance, genuinely throws it away, wastes it. 00:22:56.619 --> 00:22:58.079 He squanders his father's estate. 00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:01.679 And he finally comes home rehearsing the speech. 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.319 Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 00:23:04.439 --> 00:23:08.399 I am no longer worthy to be called your son because I wasted it. 00:23:08.879 --> 00:23:11.559 Therefore, treat me like one of your hired servants. 00:23:11.819 --> 00:23:12.879 I blew it as a son. 00:23:13.439 --> 00:23:14.819 So let me come back as a worker. 00:23:14.919 --> 00:23:15.659 Give me something to do. 00:23:15.740 --> 00:23:16.399 Let me pay you back. 00:23:16.460 --> 00:23:19.899 Let me prove that I can still produce some value around here. 00:23:21.179 --> 00:23:24.419 But the father refuses to entertain that conversation. 00:23:25.199 --> 00:23:26.699 He runs like a fool. 00:23:26.700 --> 00:23:28.480 He embraces his prodigal son. 00:23:29.220 --> 00:23:31.299 Gives him a robe, ring, sandals. 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:32.700 Slaughters the fattened calf. 00:23:33.019 --> 00:23:37.220 The kid who has already wasted so much, he gets more. 00:23:38.380 --> 00:23:39.819 He gets more from his father. 00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:42.259 Can you imagine? 00:23:42.840 --> 00:23:48.840 In the eyes of the surrounding villagers and surely in the eyes of his older brother, what a waste. 00:23:49.779 --> 00:23:50.880 What a waste. 00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:55.980 How could the father waste all of that on his wasteful son? 00:23:56.700 --> 00:23:59.840 Wouldn't all those gifts be better invested in someone more like the older son? 00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:02.920 The older son had a far better resume, a far better track record. 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:03.440 He stayed. 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:04.040 He worked. 00:24:04.120 --> 00:24:04.660 He obeyed. 00:24:05.040 --> 00:24:10.760 All he ever hoped for was just a young goat to celebrate a little party with his friends. 00:24:11.540 --> 00:24:13.260 Way better value there, right? 00:24:13.259 --> 00:24:17.440 But the problem was, he too was keeping a ledger. 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:25.440 The same way his younger brother, ashamed, tail between his legs, approached their father when he offered to pay his dad back as a hired servant, 00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:29.660 neither brother wanted to be sons in loving relationship with their father. 00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:34.500 Neither brother wanted to be simple recipients of the father's kindness and generosity. 00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:43.680 Both simply pursued an economic, earnings-based relationship with their father where the inputs and the outputs were clear and mechanically standardized. 00:24:44.759 --> 00:24:52.160 The younger brother wanted to pay back what he believed he owed, and the older brother wanted to seize what he believed he was owed. 00:24:52.160 --> 00:25:01.540 And reflecting on this sonship theme, you know, I realized that in my gratitude turned to guilt, in my appreciation turned to anxiety, 00:25:01.820 --> 00:25:07.820 in my desire to prove to myself that all the gifts that had been lavished upon me were not a waste, 00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:11.500 in my desire to prove that my life was worthwhile. 00:25:12.660 --> 00:25:20.840 I realized that I had been putting stewardship ahead of sonship, making productivity the condition for receptivity. 00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:32.359 I realized that deep down, I didn't want to be that younger brother celebrated by a father everyone else in the village probably viewed as foolish for wasting more on me. 00:25:33.259 --> 00:25:41.240 No, rather than, you know, awkwardly enjoying the undeserved, extravagant, fattened calf feast out of the goodness and generosity of my father's heart, 00:25:41.579 --> 00:25:45.679 I realized that deep down, I preferred to be the older brother, 00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:52.360 with a solid resume, content with earning a small young goat party with my friends, something I actually earned. 00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:57.799 Lest anyone think that I've wasted my gifts, my potential, and my life. 00:25:58.799 --> 00:26:02.400 And so just like both brothers, I'd forgotten what the father was trying to give me. 00:26:03.420 --> 00:26:04.200 A relationship. 00:26:05.460 --> 00:26:06.039 An identity. 00:26:06.259 --> 00:26:06.720 Sonship. 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:07.100 Himself. 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.460 Parents, you know, just imagine, right? 00:26:11.060 --> 00:26:14.039 Imagine you found the perfect Christmas gift for your child. 00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:18.379 You've been waiting weeks to see their face light up when they open it. 00:26:18.500 --> 00:26:22.299 And finally, the day comes, they rip off that wrapping paper. 00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:23.359 Their face lights up. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:25.039 Their eyes get huge. 00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:26.700 You can tell that they love it. 00:26:26.740 --> 00:26:27.539 It's a home run. 00:26:28.379 --> 00:26:33.480 But then, just as quickly, you see them glance at the price tag. 00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:37.119 And they're like, Mom and Dad, this was crazy expensive. 00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:47.059 Let me go run to my room, grab my calculator, and develop a stewardship plan so I can maximize the return on what you paid for this gift to me. 00:26:48.179 --> 00:26:50.519 You see them scurry up to their room, right? 00:26:50.579 --> 00:26:51.559 They get a notepad out. 00:26:51.619 --> 00:26:52.239 They start scribbling. 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:57.319 You can hear them thinking, hmm, how do I make sure I get every penny out of what Mom and Dad spent on me? 00:26:58.519 --> 00:27:03.079 Let me prove to them and everyone else that buying this for me was worth it. 00:27:03.079 --> 00:27:06.519 As a parent, you'd be like, what is wrong with you? 00:27:07.679 --> 00:27:08.579 Come downstairs. 00:27:09.019 --> 00:27:09.619 Enjoy it. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.740 I gave it to you because I love you. 00:27:11.779 --> 00:27:14.159 I wanted to enjoy you enjoying it. 00:27:15.139 --> 00:27:19.899 And see, this embarrassingly is close to what I was doing with God. 00:27:20.019 --> 00:27:21.639 Thank you, God, for sabbatical. 00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:23.819 Thank you, God, for the whole of my life. 00:27:23.819 --> 00:27:32.720 Now, let me make sure I can grow enough, I can be righteous enough to be worth all that you've given to me. 00:27:33.419 --> 00:27:40.779 I was missing the very thing I hope you hear me preach regularly that when you are a child of God, there is nothing you need to prove. 00:27:41.819 --> 00:27:45.460 And that's not to say that waste is fine, waste is acceptable. 00:27:45.619 --> 00:27:48.359 The younger son really did squander things terribly. 00:27:48.879 --> 00:27:51.480 Grace doesn't mean our wastefulness has no cost. 00:27:51.480 --> 00:27:59.640 But here what grace does mean is that the father does not wait until the son has produced enough to restore him to sonship. 00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:03.120 Sonship comes first and then his life changes. 00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:05.500 The son receives before he responds. 00:28:08.620 --> 00:28:09.700 He responds. 00:28:10.579 --> 00:28:10.819 Why? 00:28:12.380 --> 00:28:15.599 Because he's seen someone pay an incredible cost. 00:28:16.259 --> 00:28:19.860 The father in Luke 15, he runs down the road, throws a feast, but it costs him. 00:28:19.859 --> 00:28:28.619 His robe, his ring, his sandals, the fattened calf, perhaps even his reputation with the puzzled onlookers watching him embrace and honor his wasteful son. 00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:31.539 It's also costing the older son as well. 00:28:31.619 --> 00:28:33.179 Who did that fattened calf belong to? 00:28:33.259 --> 00:28:34.399 Who is that robe, that ring? 00:28:34.479 --> 00:28:36.199 Who are those sandals going to go to? 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:37.759 The older son. 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:39.139 Who stood to inherit all that? 00:28:40.339 --> 00:28:43.559 Bringing sons home as sons and not as servants, it is costly. 00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:45.819 But it's what our father does. 00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:49.720 It's what the son, our great older brother Jesus, has done. 00:28:49.779 --> 00:28:52.000 What he was willing to do to pay for us. 00:28:52.960 --> 00:29:01.139 And though it might even seem wasteful, that God the father and Christ the son would pay the cost of the life of Jesus of Nazareth. 00:29:01.140 --> 00:29:07.560 To adopt wasteful, undeserving, prodigal enemies into the family of God. 00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:09.600 To put their sins to death in his body. 00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:12.100 Conquer the forces of evil, death. 00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:13.420 To put away the curse. 00:29:14.140 --> 00:29:15.759 What many would deem as wasteful. 00:29:16.540 --> 00:29:20.020 The good news of the gospel is that God has deemed it worth it. 00:29:20.780 --> 00:29:22.900 What many deemed as foolish and shameful. 00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:24.940 The son of God on a cross. 00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:28.180 God deemed as beautiful and glorious. 00:29:28.180 --> 00:29:33.900 For just as the father lifted up his robe to run the distance toward his younger son. 00:29:33.980 --> 00:29:39.680 And just as the father put aside his pride to go plead with the older son to come join the fattened calf celebration. 00:29:40.380 --> 00:29:43.120 Our triune God pursues us. 00:29:43.560 --> 00:29:44.500 Runs toward us. 00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:46.900 Makes costly provision for us to come home. 00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:51.840 And not as, you know, first and foremost productive servants and stewards under his management. 00:29:51.980 --> 00:29:56.539 But first and foremost as receptive sons and daughters of a good and benevolent king. 00:29:56.539 --> 00:30:00.819 See, the gospel says Christ did not give himself because the father looked down the road. 00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:03.500 Calculated our future return and productivity. 00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:06.700 And then he decided we would eventually justify the investment. 00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:09.839 He gave himself just to bring his children home. 00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:13.700 And bringing his children home is not a waste. 00:30:14.279 --> 00:30:15.279 At least not to him. 00:30:16.500 --> 00:30:18.079 Grace always bears fruit. 00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:19.519 Sons and daughters will serve. 00:30:19.700 --> 00:30:20.240 They will give. 00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:21.000 They will sacrifice. 00:30:21.220 --> 00:30:22.759 They will create and build and work. 00:30:22.819 --> 00:30:25.519 But we aren't paying daddy back for our Christmas presents. 00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:28.339 We aren't proving that we are worthy of his grace. 00:30:28.420 --> 00:30:31.579 We respond because we've already been received. 00:30:31.980 --> 00:30:35.379 Because stewardship is the fruit of sonship and not the price of it. 00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:40.139 And that, that's why the soul can finally become quiet. 00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:45.819 This is the only thing that can truly calm and quiet the soul of a human, right? 00:30:46.379 --> 00:30:47.599 Of a limited human being. 00:30:47.740 --> 00:30:50.779 When my productivity no longer has to carry my identity. 00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:54.720 When my limitations no longer have to function as failures. 00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:57.880 I can simply receive what God gives me. 00:30:58.539 --> 00:31:02.980 And as a son, begin to discover the work he's prepared me to do. 00:31:03.519 --> 00:31:05.519 And I can leave the rest to him. 00:31:05.579 --> 00:31:06.900 All the great and marvelous things. 00:31:06.980 --> 00:31:12.319 Because when you're living within the Father's love, that's when you finally can live within your God-given limits. 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:17.940 When you know you're being held by God, that's when you can stop trying to hold everything together yourself. 00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:19.080 And that's the gospel. 00:31:20.360 --> 00:31:22.940 Now to conclude in Psalm 131. 00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:24.940 David says in verse 3. 00:31:26.100 --> 00:31:30.940 Oh Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. 00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:32.660 And man, I love that. 00:31:33.299 --> 00:31:35.740 See, this isn't just some throwaway line at the end of the psalm. 00:31:35.740 --> 00:31:43.579 I love this ending because what it's saying is that Psalm 131 isn't commending some, you know, just occasional sabbatical spirituality. 00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:48.220 It's not every seven years, take 17 weeks off and briefly become a weaned child. 00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:53.660 No, this posture of being a weaned child, it's an everyday posture. 00:31:53.819 --> 00:31:56.640 From this time forth and forevermore. 00:31:57.059 --> 00:31:59.480 It's for each of us, tomorrow and every day after that. 00:31:59.480 --> 00:32:02.700 But the question is, will we carry that posture? 00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:06.700 Are we able to carry that posture into our ordinary lives? 00:32:07.259 --> 00:32:09.180 And I got tested on this, this very week. 00:32:09.259 --> 00:32:13.180 Honestly, this week I struggled to get back into the rhythm of preparing a sermon. 00:32:13.339 --> 00:32:15.779 This past Friday, man, I had the girls all day. 00:32:16.140 --> 00:32:18.039 And the sermon was hardly even started. 00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:21.740 And as the morning went on, I could feel myself getting irritated. 00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:24.279 Piano practice taking too long. 00:32:24.700 --> 00:32:26.259 Chores taking too long. 00:32:26.259 --> 00:32:32.900 They kept interrupting me when I was trying to listen to podcasts and audiobooks, you know, in between driving them places. 00:32:33.319 --> 00:32:37.099 Don't they know daddy's fishing for some brilliant insight for his sermon on Sunday? 00:32:38.279 --> 00:32:40.039 It was like a miserable morning. 00:32:41.160 --> 00:32:43.740 And I was even more, you know, disappointed in myself. 00:32:43.740 --> 00:32:48.500 Because it was like, man, after 17 weeks of sabbatical, all it takes is one sermon I need to deliver. 00:32:49.140 --> 00:32:52.000 I'm not even officially back yet, but I'm already losing my patience. 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:56.920 It's, I'm already finding my way back into stinginess about my time all over again. 00:32:56.980 --> 00:33:00.619 Is that how the next seven years is going to be before my next sabbatical? 00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:08.160 Will I just continue seeing my daughters as obstacles to the Andrew Ong optimization project? 00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:12.099 Or will I practice what I'm hoping to preach? 00:33:12.099 --> 00:33:18.240 And take up the posture of a weaned child with a calm and quieted spirit. 00:33:18.939 --> 00:33:20.079 Embrace my limitations. 00:33:20.299 --> 00:33:22.459 Open myself up to receiving rather than producing. 00:33:22.899 --> 00:33:29.679 And be a dad informed by the fact that I'm also a son to our good father in heaven. 00:33:30.639 --> 00:33:36.019 Will I be a dad who's also a son to our father in heaven rather than a dad who's a slave to my own self-improvement project? 00:33:36.019 --> 00:33:40.799 So by God's grace, I tried, I calmed and quieted my soul. 00:33:41.539 --> 00:33:44.879 And I chose to do the least productive thing I could think of. 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:47.440 Something that would definitely not help my sermon at all. 00:33:48.139 --> 00:33:49.279 We went outside. 00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:50.759 We played basketball. 00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:52.359 We dribbled balls. 00:33:52.500 --> 00:33:53.400 We ran around. 00:33:53.740 --> 00:33:54.740 We played silly games. 00:33:54.859 --> 00:33:56.079 I rebounded all their bricks. 00:33:57.099 --> 00:34:00.940 And then I took them out to get Italian ice and custard. 00:34:02.039 --> 00:34:02.920 We just sat there. 00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:04.740 We ate slowly. 00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:04.839 Slowly. 00:34:06.019 --> 00:34:07.379 And we just talked. 00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:08.840 And we laughed. 00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:13.199 And I do realize the irony here that I'm using this experience in the sermon. 00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:13.519 Alright? 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.099 I realize I'm doing that right now. 00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:15.539 Don't hate. 00:34:16.719 --> 00:34:23.460 But if the reason that hour was worthwhile is simply that it became useful to my sermon, yeah, I totally have missed the point. 00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:34.559 But hitting the brakes and surrendering to my limits, being a dad in the presence of my daughters and of my father in heaven, 00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:38.579 I recognize it was good in and of itself. 00:34:39.779 --> 00:34:46.420 Wasting time, being silly with my girls, just bouncing balls, tossing them into hoops, eating cold dessert, right? 00:34:46.420 --> 00:34:51.180 They didn't need to serve some grand, efficient strategy for growth and development. 00:34:51.300 --> 00:34:55.920 Those hours with my girls didn't have to become anything else in order to be worthwhile. 00:34:55.920 --> 00:35:00.099 And that didn't mean the sermon no longer mattered. 00:35:00.099 --> 00:35:06.619 It didn't mean that work, stewardship, responsibility, productivity suddenly became wicked, evil things. 00:35:06.680 --> 00:35:07.900 The sermon still had to get written. 00:35:07.900 --> 00:35:17.559 And then, the question was whether I could return to that work without asking the work to justify my life and be my righteousness. 00:35:18.680 --> 00:35:20.980 And I think that's exactly where verse 3 takes us. 00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:26.700 Oh, Israel, hope not in yourself, not in your circumstances. 00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:33.039 Oh, Israel, like a weaned child in the embrace of its mother, is there a hope in the Lord? 00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:37.800 And that's something you can do from this time forth and forevermore. 00:35:39.019 --> 00:35:42.599 Because eventually, the weaned child, it does have to get up from its mother's lap. 00:35:43.159 --> 00:35:44.840 Eventually, a sabbatical is over. 00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:46.980 Eventually, I go back to work. 00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:51.759 But that doesn't mean I have to leave that embrace behind. 00:35:52.940 --> 00:35:55.820 Tomorrow, there will be deadlines and responsibilities for all of us. 00:35:55.880 --> 00:35:58.500 Emails to respond to, kids to parent, projects to complete. 00:35:58.500 --> 00:36:06.360 Psalm 131 isn't calling us away from responsibility, but it is inviting us to live our responsibilities from somewhere different. 00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:09.920 From the Father's calm and restful embrace. 00:36:10.059 --> 00:36:11.500 From sonship before stewardship. 00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.360 From a posture of receptivity before productivity. 00:36:14.739 --> 00:36:20.639 From the settled knowledge that before I accomplish anything for my Father, I already belong to Him. 00:36:21.260 --> 00:36:23.699 The One who gave everything to call me His own. 00:36:23.699 --> 00:36:29.319 So, in light of Psalm 131, we can be ambitious without pretending to be limitless. 00:36:29.399 --> 00:36:34.119 We can work hard without needing our work to justify our identities. 00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:39.319 We can receive God's gifts without immediately turning every gift into another test of whether we're worthy. 00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:46.819 The glory of the gospel is that there is a God who invites His limited and even His wasteful children 00:36:46.820 --> 00:36:53.780 to experience His calming presence like a weaned child in the embrace of its mother. 00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:56.580 That's God's word to us, Christ Church. 00:36:57.400 --> 00:37:03.080 Oh, Christ Church, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. 00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:04.660 Let's pray. 00:37:04.659 --> 00:37:12.859 Lord, I think Spurgeon was right. 00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:16.179 One of the shortest psalms to read. 00:37:17.940 --> 00:37:19.599 Probably takes the longest to learn. 00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:28.480 Lord, we thank you for the foolishness of the Father 00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:31.719 who seems to waste so much upon the Son. 00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:35.439 Oh, Lord, would that be beautiful? 00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:38.439 Would that be good news to us, Lord God? 00:37:39.579 --> 00:37:41.099 That you're that kind of a father. 00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:44.179 A prodigal father, even. 00:37:46.199 --> 00:37:50.439 And would we delight in the way that you lavish your grace upon us? 00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:58.139 Would we delight in the reality that we don't have to earn our identity with you as children of God? 00:37:58.139 --> 00:38:02.279 We thank you that Jesus has paid it all. 00:38:02.659 --> 00:38:04.679 Our older brother has gone before us. 00:38:05.239 --> 00:38:09.440 The triune God has paid the cost to bring His children home. 00:38:09.539 --> 00:38:15.299 So do we love to be home in your embrace, in your presence. 00:38:15.300 --> 00:38:24.180 And would that make us the calmest, most peaceful, most rested people, oh God. 00:38:24.900 --> 00:38:31.780 Showing to the world a better way of hoping in you from this time forth and forevermore. 00:38:32.280 --> 00:38:34.080 In Jesus' name, amen.