WEBVTT

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 There are two things that generally introduce a sermon.

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! The first is probably my incessant, repetitious petition that you would pray for me.

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! And I trust that whether I ask you or not, that you do that.

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 I trust the day never comes when a man stands in this pulpit that you as God's people do

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 not pray for him. It is one of your most significant works during the preaching of the Word of God.

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 Now having said that, listening to it and obeying it is preeminently important.

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 But apart from your prayer, you are not enjoying the enabling of the Spirit of God in that process.

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 Secondly, I do want to take just a moment to address the fact that today is going to be a little different

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 because normally after I've made my traditional solicitation for you to pray for me,

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 I then usually say, turn in your Bibles too.

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 And if you've been tracking, you know, if you've been here more than one or two weeks in a row,

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 you know that if we were in Ephesians chapter 2 verse 13 on last Sunday, guess where you're going to be next Sunday?

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 Just a couple verses ahead, because we are deeply committed to the supremacy and the value of the Scriptures

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 to inform us and to affect us as believers.

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 And as a result of that, we study through the Bible text by text, and preaching for us is an understanding that God has spoken,

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 and those who preach are to bring what God has spoken in clear terms for your understanding and for your application.

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 And so, there are rare occasions where I step aside to address something in a more topical nature.

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 One of our deacons sent me a, I think it was an email yesterday, in which they were referring to some reading they are doing.

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 And the reading actually written by a particular author, and I don't know who it was,

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 but the author said that few congregations would endure a pastor teaching through a book for longer than a year.

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 And I had to chuckle to myself when I got that note,

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 but then I want you to know that I was deeply affected by the reminder that you have been so forbearing,

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 because generally our studies in a book are not just a year discursion,

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 but if you would remember, our work through the book of Luke, I think, ran into four years,

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 and our work in the book of Romans ran into something comparable to that,

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 not because we don't know what to do next Sunday,

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 but because we are fully persuaded of the sweetness and the value of studying the Scriptures carefully.

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 And so this morning I'm going to do something a little different in that I'm going to be topical.

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 And my wife, there she is, isn't she the most beautiful woman in this church?

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 By the way, she's the only one I can keep on looking at.

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 But she will tell me,

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 Tim, you're not real good at topical sermons, let them go.

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 And so, hey, nod your head, you said that.

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 But I am committed to take the time to explain to you as God's dear, dear people why we do small groups.

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 Small group ministry is not just kind of a side note for this fellowship.

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 It is sweet.

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 It is important.

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 It is intentional.

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 It is essential.

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 And something that we as a fellowship believe in so deeply deserves an occasional explanation.

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 And so, it fits that after the summer break where we've been apart for roughly 11, 12 weeks,

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 it's appropriate for me to come to you and say,

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 Hey, guys, remember this is what we do and here's why we do it.

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 And so, this morning what I would like to do is actually illustrate a point

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 that is at the heart and the foundation of our effort together.

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 And I've asked a couple children to come forward to help me with that.

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 Pete, would you come up?

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 You come with Annabelle so that she is not unduly intimidated by the pastor.

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 And then I'm going to ask Sarah if you would bring up Eliab and Calvin.

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 And if you guys will stand right here.

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 Your parents can stand behind you.

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 Is this microphone on?

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 Testing.

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 That's all right.

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 We're learning to share spaces.

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 Okay.

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 I'm going to ask each of these young people a very simple question.

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 And I'm going to see whether you know the answer before they know it.

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 Okay?

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 Eliab, I'm going to ask you the question.

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 What is the chief end of man?

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 The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

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 Amen.

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 Calvin, what is the chief end of man?

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 The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

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 And Annabelle, what is the chief end of man?

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 Chief end of man is to glorify Him and to enjoy Him forever.

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 Excellent.

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 Excellent.

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 Now, you may go.

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 I told several people this morning that actually I was multitasking when I asked a number of different families if they would consider doing this.

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 And when I say multitasking, for one, I intend for these young people to serve as a practical illustration of a very foundational truth.

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 But there's another thing that I intend to do, and that is to encourage you as parents to give some thought to basic instruction in the Scriptures.

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 Guess where?

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 In your home.

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 In your home.

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 In your home.

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 What they were doing was reciting the first question.

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 They were answering the first question in the shorter catechism.

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 Does anybody know what the word catechism means?

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 It means to teach.

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 The word catechism simply in the original language is talking about the process of teaching.

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 And so just kind of a side note would be this.

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 It's always a good idea as parents to be involved in teaching your children and teaching them from the very beginning that their chief purpose in life is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

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 And when you think about that statement that they recited as the first question in the catechism,

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 I have no doubt that most of you were thinking there's a Bible truth behind that statement.

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 Weren't you thinking that?

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 I trust you were.

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 And your mind probably went to a passage such as 1 Corinthians 10, verse 31, where it says,

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 Whether you eat or whether you drink, do all for the glory of God.

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 And over in Revelation chapter 4, verse 11, it says that,

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 Thou art worthy, O God, to receive honor and glory and power because you're the one who made everything.

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 When we think about the fact that God created us for His glory,

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 we recognize that sin came into the world and perverted and destroyed that which God had made for His glory.

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 I had in my own mind kind of imagined then a graphic on the screen of some brute because sin created or turned that which God designed to be beautiful and wonderful.

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 Sin turned that creation and principally mankind made in God's image and for His glory,

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 turned mankind into a wicked, perverse, unwholesome, destructive, harmful being.

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 Thankfully, salvation delivers us from our past, delivers us from the curse of sin,

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 and takes that which was destroyed by the enemy,

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 and as it says over in 2 Corinthians, it makes us a new person.

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 Isn't that right?

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 Any man be in Christ Jesus, He's a new creation.

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 He's something different.

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 Salvation really is a one-time event of grace where God, through Christ,

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 saves the sinner and changes him from being a slave of Satan into being a child of God.

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 But with salvation, there is another piece that goes along that is very important to understand,

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 and that is that salvation, which is a one-time event and turns us from being the slave of Satan into the child of God,

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 is then backed up or partnered or supported by the process whereby God helps the believer,

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 who is a genuine convert, change.

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 And a fact should be evident in your life and in your own mind and thinking,

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 that there was a time when you used to be this way,

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 and the Spirit of God is continuing to help you grow.

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 One of the things that's an indication of the authenticity of our conversion is progressive sanctification, right?

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 We can see that we're not the same as we used to be.

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 And we recognize, as it says over in Romans chapter 8, verse 28 and 29.

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 By the way, how many of you know Romans 8, 28?

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 More or less by heart.

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 You could recite it with your eyes closed.

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 All things work together for good to those who love God,

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 are called according to His purpose, for whom He did foreknow, etc.

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 It goes on into verse 29 and says that He is in the business of taking all the issues of life to do what?

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 What is His principal intent in that passage?

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 What's He doing?

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 He is conforming me into… fill in the blank.

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 He is conforming me into the image of Christ.

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 The Word of God does not tell us that God's primary purpose in your life is to help you be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

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 The Scriptures tell us that God's purpose is to make you look more like Christ.

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 And the reason for that is this, is the best advertisement and the best glorification of God the Father is in the person of Christ.

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 And it follows that as we, by the power of the Spirit, grow to be more like the Lord Jesus Christ,

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 we become better advertisement.

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 We become more, more adept or more capable of bringing glory to Him.

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 So God is in the business of taking life and using it to help us grow to be like Christ.

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 How does He do that?

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 And that's something that I think is important for us to ask ourselves.

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 We recognize in the Scripture that God uses three agents to do it.

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 He uses His Word.

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 He uses His Spirit.

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 And He uses His people.

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 Let me say that again so you get it clearly in your mind.

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 God uses His Word.

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 He uses His Spirit.

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 And He uses His people to shape the believer to be more like Christ.

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 And so, in a more particular point today, the Bible makes it clear that we are to grow in the context of godly relationships.

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 Do you understand that?

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 Spiritual growth is something that is to take place in godly relationships.

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 And having heard me say that, probably one of the following questions that you should ask is,

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 Pastor, can you show me that in the Bible?

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 I want to get this clear in your mind.

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 Tim Knoyer, in and of himself, is not authoritative.

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 Do you understand that?

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 It is the Scriptures that are authoritative.

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 So when you hear me say, here's the plan, you probably ought to say, prove it.

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 Show me.

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 Where?

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 Where?

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 And when we think about the fact that God intends for us to grow in godly relationships,

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 let me draw your attention to a couple different passages that would help you see that.

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 Turn in your Bible to Acts chapter 2, verse 42.

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 Acts chapter 2, verse 42.

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 In that passage,

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 we find the context addressing what the early church did after individuals came to Christ.

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 And there in verse 41, it says that there were added that day about 3,000 souls.

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 There were 3,000 individuals that were delivered out of the kingdom of Satan

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 and were put into the family of God.

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 What did they do in the family of God?

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 Well, we find in verse 42, it says this,

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 and they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching.

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 What is the apostles' teaching?

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 When do we, in this fellowship,

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 generally have distinct exposure to apostolic teaching?

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 When is it?

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 It's when the pastor comes up from over here,

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 and he comes, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink,

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 and he says,

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 all right, guys, we're going to do some apostle teaching.

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 I'm not the apostle,

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 but we open the scriptures,

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 and there it is, right?

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 And so it says that they gave themselves to the apostles' teaching.

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 They gave themselves to fellowship,

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 the breaking of bread and prayers.

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 And I want to focus just a little bit on that word fellowship

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 because the word in the Greek, koinonia,

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 is not talking about church dinners.

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 Church dinners are great.

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 And I want you to tell,

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 I want you to know that after a long and arduous journey,

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 our kitchen project is finally 99% done.

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 Okay?

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 With the wonderful news that our kitchen project is done,

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 I also should advise you all who are parents that over,

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 should I tell them that?

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 I'm going to tell them that.

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 Over on the wall is a little,

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 in case of fire, pull lever.

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 And if your children decide to experiment with that

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 in case of fire, pull lever,

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 it will create an $1,800 cloud of chemicals

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 to suppress any conceivable fire in there.

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 Let me say the numbers slowly.

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 1,800 dot zero zero.

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 Plus.

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 Plus.

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 Now, why would I bring that up in our fellowship?

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 Just so that when you take your children into the gymnasium,

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 you tell them,

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 on pain of death.

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 I don't want to be remembered

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 as the father of the child that set off the halon system

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 when there really wasn't a fire in the kitchen.

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 The sidebar that we neglected and went off on a little discursion on is that,

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 listen, fellowships are really not primarily church dinners.

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 The word fellowship means joint participation or being interconnected with one another for the sake of one another.

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 And as you look in the scripture, you find that this issue of being in fellowship with one another is supremely significant and supremely important.

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 Remember, backing up just a little bit, how is it that the believer grows to be more like Christ?

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 The word of God, the spirit of God, and the people of God.

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 And neither the word nor people are going to be very effective if you have a very minimal exposure to them.

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 Does that make sense?

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 I need to change still.

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 And the things that help me change are godly relationships in which my heart is being challenged and ministered to

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 by individuals who love the Lord Jesus and use the word to help me change.

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 Well, let's look at these one another issues because they're very important.

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 And I want to use a sequence in the book of Romans where they're all kind of pressed together.

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 Very helpful that that happens.

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 Romans chapter 12, we see the first of a series of one another commands.

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 Romans chapter 12, verse 10.

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 Love one another.

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 Love one another.

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 With brotherly affection, outdo one another in showing honor.

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 Verse 16.

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 Live in harmony with one another.

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 Let me tell you something.

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 As I think about this passage, I remind myself that Romans chapter 12 comes after Romans chapter 11.

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 And Romans chapter 1 through 11 have really been a very careful exposition by the apostle as to the work of God in saving us.

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 But following this careful teaching about how God has worked to save us and what He has done in bringing us to faith,

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 it goes on then in Romans chapter 12, verse 16, explaining how we who have been saved are to stay in relationship with one another

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 and how that brings glory to Christ.

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 The starting place is that we honestly, truly have to love one another.

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 And let me tell you a little secret about small group relationships.

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 Small group relationships are much more demanding and also much more opportunistic in giving you an opportunity of really loving people.

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 It is very easy to be a lobby lover.

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 Do you know what I mean by a lobby lover?

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 Hey, how are you doing?

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 I'm fine.

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 Everybody's fine in the lobby, right?

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 Isn't that the way it is?

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 I mean, so the next time somebody asks you, hey, how are you doing?

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 And you really dump the load on them, what are they?

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 Ooh, I wasn't asking for that.

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 I'm just about loving you in the lobby.

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 I'm not going to be praying for you.

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 What are you thinking?

00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:20.440
 You see, small group is where we really get to know each other.

00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.720
 We get to know the uglies.

00:20:22.460 --> 00:20:26.740
 We get to know some of the sulky, pouty attitudes that we all have on occasion, right?

00:20:26.740 --> 00:20:30.500
 Is that true?

00:20:32.059 --> 00:20:34.759
 Does your wife know that you're sulky, pouty sometimes?

00:20:34.859 --> 00:20:35.440
 What's the answer?

00:20:36.700 --> 00:20:41.579
 None of the wives are sitting like this, little halo over top of their heads.

00:20:42.819 --> 00:20:43.620
 Yeah, they know.

00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:49.259
 And if you're in small group over a period of time, people begin figuring out what you really are.

00:20:50.019 --> 00:20:50.140
 Okay?

00:20:50.620 --> 00:20:54.359
 And in Romans chapter 12, it says, love one another with brotherly affection.

00:20:54.359 --> 00:20:57.459
 Let's go on to Romans chapter 14, verse 13.

00:20:58.899 --> 00:21:02.639
 Therefore, let us not pass judgment on one another.

00:21:03.579 --> 00:21:06.199
 Let us not pass judgment on one another.

00:21:06.879 --> 00:21:13.019
 Then over in Romans chapter 15, verse 7, we find there that Paul says this,

00:21:13.139 --> 00:21:17.179
 therefore, welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you.

00:21:17.180 --> 00:21:24.640
 That idea of welcoming is accepting, receiving one another with our idiosyncrasies and our particular preferences.

00:21:24.860 --> 00:21:33.779
 I remember actually one of the very significant moments in our church life was when that verse got a hold of my heart in relationship to music.

00:21:33.779 --> 00:21:43.539
 I had grown up on the mission field, and most of the songs that I knew, none of you would understand.

00:21:44.740 --> 00:21:47.200
 They were in Hindi, Manapuri, and Bengali.

00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:55.339
 And their structure and everything about singing is completely, 100% different than what you know.

00:21:55.339 --> 00:22:07.220
 The other part of me spent from sixth grade on in boarding school, and every Sunday I went to an Anglican church.

00:22:07.339 --> 00:22:09.399
 Now, do you know what Anglican church is like?

00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:17.319
 You know, glory be to the Father and to the Son.

00:22:17.559 --> 00:22:20.000
 And it was very ritualized.

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:30.779
 And so I had a pretty divergent view of music in the church, and I thought since we weren't singing all those Indian tunes,

00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:32.660
 that we ought to be doing the Anglican thing.

00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:35.240
 You know, experience being the judge.

00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:40.559
 And I remember as I began studying the Scriptures and realizing, you know what,

00:22:40.619 --> 00:22:43.500
 God made us with a lot of diversity in what we really enjoy.

00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:48.720
 And it dawned on me that I ought to be willing to sing your song, and you ought to be willing to sing mine.

00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.279
 Why? Because we accept and love one another.

00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:54.720
 Look also, if you would, at verse 14.

00:22:56.860 --> 00:22:58.059
 Verse 14, it says,

00:22:58.579 --> 00:23:03.120
 I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness,

00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:07.799
 full with all knowledge, and able to, in the King James it says, admonish.

00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:11.100
 In other words, you're there to deal with one another when there are problems.

00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:18.019
 Listen to me carefully, because here's a nice little verse that sits kind of on the frontal lobe for Tim Knoyer.

00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:20.980
 In Ecclesiastes, here's what it says.

00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:30.600
 It says it's better to be a poor and foolish, a poor young man than an old and foolish king who will no longer hear correction.

00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:32.600
 Question.

00:23:33.740 --> 00:23:36.860
 When was the last time you took correction well?

00:23:36.859 --> 00:23:51.519
 A mark of spiritual progress is the ability to take it without getting sulky and pouty and having an attitude when someone comes alongside

00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:55.719
 and God uses them as an instrument to say, hey, you need to work at that.

00:23:55.720 --> 00:24:02.819
 In Romans, Paul talks about admonish one another.

00:24:03.420 --> 00:24:14.960
 At the heart of the some 59 times in the New Testament that the Spirit of God chooses to use the one another phrase to introduce an explicit command,

00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:22.779
 the goal of that command, the goal of that command is the relationship that believers are to have with one another

00:24:22.779 --> 00:24:34.539
 in which they relate to one another either to correct or to encourage or to sustain, support those who are part of the family and the body of Christ.

00:24:34.539 --> 00:24:44.299
 And so what we do in our small group is we work together to help us really practice the one another's.

00:24:45.019 --> 00:24:48.819
 It dawned on me at one point in our fellowship, in our church life,

00:24:48.819 --> 00:24:58.399
 that we were not doing a very good job actually at helping one another with the expectations of Scripture for the sake of progressive sanctification.

00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:05.980
 And the reason was is that the vast majority of time we spent looking at the front or at the back of one another's heads.

00:25:07.419 --> 00:25:13.039
 And there may be a bold one or two among you that may reach forward to the pew in front of you

00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:19.099
 and tap someone on the shoulder and say, I would like to help you with a little bit of admonition.

00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:25.839
 But for the most part, unless we are developing close relationships,

00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:33.180
 we don't really get in each other's space and in each other's face when we're playing lobby life.

00:25:35.859 --> 00:25:39.039
 And we recognize, Lord, we need to work at this.

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:40.619
 How do we go about it?

00:25:40.619 --> 00:25:48.679
 And we recognize, particularly in that passage in Acts chapter 2, that the church gathered for fellowship.

00:25:50.639 --> 00:25:55.359
 And so if you were to ask me or you were to ask others in our fellowship,

00:25:55.579 --> 00:25:57.459
 why do we do small groups?

00:25:57.799 --> 00:25:59.359
 We would put it to you this way.

00:25:59.939 --> 00:26:03.899
 We have small groups to build relationships that build saints.

00:26:04.459 --> 00:26:05.339
 That's why we do it.

00:26:06.359 --> 00:26:07.199
 Is it work?

00:26:07.379 --> 00:26:08.059
 What's the answer?

00:26:08.899 --> 00:26:09.299
 Absolutely.

00:26:09.299 --> 00:26:09.500
 Absolutely.

00:26:10.619 --> 00:26:15.459
 It is easier to approach religion a little bit like a drive-thru at McDonald's.

00:26:16.439 --> 00:26:18.639
 I'll take a Big Mac and fries with that.

00:26:18.719 --> 00:26:18.959
 Bye.

00:26:20.339 --> 00:26:21.439
 I heard the pastor.

00:26:21.859 --> 00:26:23.179
 Yeah, it's all right.

00:26:23.179 --> 00:26:26.799
 He was kind of at a B-minus this morning, but I'm done.

00:26:28.399 --> 00:26:34.899
 God intends for the small group ministry to be the practical place where you connect and relate

00:26:34.900 --> 00:26:38.680
 and help other people grow, and they also help you grow.

00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:43.380
 So let's ask a practical question following that.

00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:44.800
 How do we do small groups?

00:26:45.800 --> 00:26:47.460
 Explain why we do small groups.

00:26:47.540 --> 00:26:49.160
 Let's talk about how we do small groups.

00:26:49.160 --> 00:26:53.279
 First of all, we rely upon the enabling of the Spirit of God.

00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:59.060
 We desperately need the Spirit's help every time we engage in doing anything of spiritual significance.

00:26:59.059 --> 00:27:03.480
 And I am reminded of what Jesus said over in John chapter 15, verse 5.

00:27:03.559 --> 00:27:06.859
 He said this, without me, you can do nothing.

00:27:06.859 --> 00:27:11.919
 So it wouldn't be a bad idea, you who are going to be involved in small groups this day,

00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:15.039
 as you're getting ready to go into your small group, go ahead and say,

00:27:15.159 --> 00:27:16.539
 Lord, I need your help.

00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:21.979
 I need your help to really honestly love the other people that are in this group,

00:27:22.199 --> 00:27:27.240
 not just kind of go about the civil decorum and act like I'm okay with them.

00:27:28.699 --> 00:27:31.759
 I need your help that I might be a good listener.

00:27:32.559 --> 00:27:35.240
 I need your help that I would be willing to...

00:27:35.240 --> 00:27:36.980
 I'm sorry, I moved it.

00:27:37.259 --> 00:27:42.039
 But that I would be willing to invest the energy and the effort of really partnering with people

00:27:42.039 --> 00:27:43.319
 for their spiritual growth.

00:27:44.120 --> 00:27:48.599
 By the way, we rely upon the Spirit of God also in the way we structure our small groups.

00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:54.839
 And I explain that because the way in which we do it is that at the beginning of every year in January,

00:27:55.140 --> 00:27:57.200
 we have a reorganization.

00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:01.200
 Now, the truth of the matter is that about 90-some percent...

00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:03.220
 Is Tom Perrin in here?

00:28:03.220 --> 00:28:05.799
 What percent was it?

00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:07.819
 About 95%, give or take?

00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:13.920
 About 95% of our fellowship have stayed in the same small groups year after year after year.

00:28:14.019 --> 00:28:18.440
 And the reason for that is that every name is drawn by lottery.

00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:20.740
 Not gambling, but by lottery.

00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:23.980
 It's a little bit like dividing the nation of Israel.

00:28:24.100 --> 00:28:26.200
 Remember when they divided the promised land by lottery?

00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:27.240
 God was the one who did it.

00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:30.500
 And the group will draw out a name and it'll say,

00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:34.640
 Oh, Simons, their first choice is...

00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:37.700
 And if they were drawn, they get their first choice so long as it's not filled up.

00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:47.579
 And we are very blessed to see that not only are about 95% of our people given their first choice,

00:28:47.579 --> 00:28:53.059
 but secondly, about the same percent, give or take, stay in the same group year after year.

00:28:53.059 --> 00:28:57.359
 How many of you are in the same group that you started in yea many years ago?

00:28:57.419 --> 00:28:58.000
 Raise your hands.

00:28:58.679 --> 00:28:59.079
 Look around.

00:28:59.379 --> 00:28:59.740
 Look around.

00:29:01.619 --> 00:29:04.279
 By the way, we started, I think, six or seven years ago.

00:29:04.879 --> 00:29:05.059
 Okay?

00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:10.559
 And we don't force you out of that group unless Providence, God's hand, is the one who says,

00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:10.879
 Up!

00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:16.079
 You got drawn 97th, and the Bernard group was already full.

00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:19.279
 I'm going to use that as an illustration because it did happen.

00:29:19.619 --> 00:29:19.879
 Okay?

00:29:20.519 --> 00:29:23.019
 We rely upon the Spirit of God to help us.

00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:29.579
 Secondly, we rely on godly leaders who are willing to model their love for Christ and for the body.

00:29:30.519 --> 00:29:36.220
 And they work in their walk with Christ, and then they work in nurturing spiritual growth in other people.

00:29:36.220 --> 00:29:40.600
 It is a demanding responsibility to be a small group leader.

00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:41.420
 Let me tell you something.

00:29:42.339 --> 00:29:50.680
 We are greatly blessed by those men and women who have willingly taken on the responsibility of being small group leaders.

00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:55.579
 They are unbelievably valuable and prized in this fellowship.

00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:58.740
 And you should never take them for granted.

00:29:59.140 --> 00:30:00.180
 You should pray for them.

00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:01.660
 You should thank the Lord for them.

00:30:01.660 --> 00:30:09.800
 You should be encouraged by their model because they willingly, week after week after week, are there to minister to you,

00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:13.860
 to open up their home, to teach a Bible lesson, to encourage you personally,

00:30:14.040 --> 00:30:18.140
 to care for some of the responsibilities that go with being a family.

00:30:21.420 --> 00:30:29.460
 Third, when you ask us how we do small groups, we open up time in our church week to allow people to meet in smaller groups.

00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:37.220
 I remember a time in our fellowship where one of the things that I recognized is that we honestly, as a body of believers,

00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:40.559
 did not do well at lasting relationships.

00:30:42.019 --> 00:30:46.420
 And I recognized that lasting relationships take time.

00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:55.039
 And if you don't give time to the process, you can't expect something to happen without the willingness to invest.

00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:58.680
 And so what we did was we took away the evening service.

00:30:59.220 --> 00:31:03.139
 And for a pastor who particularly enjoys preaching, did you know I like to preach?

00:31:03.579 --> 00:31:04.180
 I do.

00:31:04.819 --> 00:31:14.859
 For a pastor who particularly enjoys preaching, the idea of taking something away required that I be fully persuaded scripturally

00:31:14.859 --> 00:31:21.119
 that preaching was not the only way to help people grow in grace.

00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:25.599
 Do I diminish the significance of preaching and saying that?

00:31:25.679 --> 00:31:26.779
 I do not believe so.

00:31:27.959 --> 00:31:31.919
 But I recognize that God intends for us to help one another grow.

00:31:32.339 --> 00:31:35.019
 And so what we did was we gave away the evening service.

00:31:35.699 --> 00:31:40.179
 And from, well, basically it'll be about 12.15 to whatever time in the evening,

00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:42.559
 we have 10 different small groups.

00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:45.659
 And they meet at all different kinds of times.

00:31:45.660 --> 00:31:52.660
 Fourth, how do we do small groups?

00:31:53.360 --> 00:31:57.900
 We do so by encouraging consistent participation and involvement.

00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:02.700
 I want to have you mark those words.

00:32:03.540 --> 00:32:06.080
 Consistent participation and involvement.

00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:13.639
 Let's go back to the presupposition that God uses in order to help you grow in grace.

00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:19.059
 God uses His Word, His Spirit, and His people.

00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:24.939
 I want you to recognize that godly leaders pray, study.

00:32:25.419 --> 00:32:28.899
 They can put all the effort they can conceive into the process.

00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:30.319
 They can open their homes.

00:32:30.439 --> 00:32:31.379
 They can set up chairs.

00:32:31.380 --> 00:32:35.560
 They can even prepare to sing a solo or whatever else.

00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:38.500
 But if you are not consistent and you don't show up,

00:32:38.840 --> 00:32:42.260
 guess what's going to happen to the potential of developing relationship?

00:32:42.420 --> 00:32:43.480
 Guess what the answer is?

00:32:44.500 --> 00:32:45.500
 Help me here.

00:32:46.600 --> 00:32:50.700
 It's significantly diminished by your absence.

00:32:50.860 --> 00:32:51.700
 Would you agree with that?

00:32:52.980 --> 00:32:57.580
 One of the things that Judith and I learned a long time ago in our marriage

00:32:57.579 --> 00:33:03.480
 is that if we didn't talk together regularly, often, a lot,

00:33:05.220 --> 00:33:07.639
 Judith and I began to have tone of voice issues.

00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:10.799
 How many of you know in marriage what tone of voice issues are?

00:33:11.419 --> 00:33:13.960
 Does anybody know besides me what tone of voice issues are?

00:33:15.159 --> 00:33:16.079
 Oh, thank you.

00:33:16.139 --> 00:33:18.240
 We got two here that know what tone of voice issues are.

00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:23.000
 I was immediately suspicious of my wife's tone of voice.

00:33:24.159 --> 00:33:25.399
 It was like, oh yeah?

00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:28.060
 What's that about?

00:33:29.960 --> 00:33:34.440
 And it took me a long time to realize that most of the problems with tone of voice were me.

00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:37.800
 But I also learned something else,

00:33:38.140 --> 00:33:43.720
 that when Judith and I spend time together day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day,

00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:44.759
 you got that?

00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:48.140
 The tone of voice issues began to go down.

00:33:48.140 --> 00:33:54.900
 Because, see, I knew from those recurring times together that she really did love me.

00:33:54.980 --> 00:34:00.120
 And when she said, that tie doesn't go with that shirt, I didn't take it personally.

00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:07.679
 I mean, I may have chosen that tie when I was in that room.

00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:12.699
 And I'm not a good tie picker, but I don't particularly like being told that I'm not a good tie picker.

00:34:15.099 --> 00:34:22.179
 But when we had that ongoing relationship, it's like when she said, you know, that tie doesn't go really well.

00:34:22.219 --> 00:34:23.159
 I thought, you know what, honey?

00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:26.699
 You love me, and I know you love me, and I trust your judgment.

00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:35.199
 Now, admittedly, relationships are messy.

00:34:36.699 --> 00:34:42.399
 And the reason for that is that relationships put sinners into close proximity with one another.

00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:43.139
 Do you understand that?

00:34:44.139 --> 00:34:47.579
 One of the nice things about contemporary Christianity,

00:34:50.059 --> 00:34:52.279
 particularly in a city such as Columbus,

00:34:53.159 --> 00:34:58.359
 is that there are so many options of where you could conceivably go to church,

00:34:58.500 --> 00:35:03.319
 you can float around ad nauseum and never really connect with anybody.

00:35:06.779 --> 00:35:08.199
 And I see people do that.

00:35:09.879 --> 00:35:11.259
 But let me tell you something.

00:35:11.259 --> 00:35:18.339
 If God intends to use lasting relationships to help people grow in authentic faith,

00:35:18.340 --> 00:35:25.539
 then somewhere along the line you have to connect and work at fitting in

00:35:25.539 --> 00:35:29.740
 and work at the uglies that come with relationship.

00:35:30.039 --> 00:35:32.220
 As you get to know people better,

00:35:32.640 --> 00:35:39.559
 one of the things you find out is that you begin to recognize some of the challenges in their life,

00:35:39.620 --> 00:35:41.039
 and guess what they do in yours?

00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:43.679
 They begin to recognize yours.

00:35:43.860 --> 00:35:45.400
 But that's where ministry takes place.

00:35:46.420 --> 00:35:47.500
 I guess I'd put it this way.

00:35:47.579 --> 00:35:49.840
 Getting close leads to one of two responses.

00:35:50.940 --> 00:35:54.300
 People eventually pull apart over differences and unresolved issues.

00:35:54.420 --> 00:35:58.960
 I was reading, reviewing a book for the Sunday school class that I'm teaching about Maranatha,

00:35:59.079 --> 00:36:01.239
 life at Maranatha, called Exit Interviews.

00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:05.379
 And one of the predominant recurring themes in that book is people leave the church.

00:36:05.559 --> 00:36:06.859
 And why do they leave the church?

00:36:07.059 --> 00:36:07.859
 Never come back.

00:36:07.979 --> 00:36:09.559
 Not just leave the church and go somewhere else.

00:36:09.619 --> 00:36:10.199
 Never come back.

00:36:11.539 --> 00:36:17.339
 Predominant reason is this, is unresolved tensions and problems that they were not equipped to handle.

00:36:19.339 --> 00:36:24.659
 They chose to not follow the scriptural model of dealing with problems.

00:36:24.739 --> 00:36:27.259
 By the way, does anybody know the scriptural model for dealing with problems?

00:36:28.119 --> 00:36:29.000
 I'm going to give it to you.

00:36:29.159 --> 00:36:29.979
 This is a freebie.

00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:32.880
 All right, write this down because it's important.

00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:35.820
 Go talk to the person who's the problem.

00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:38.860
 Isn't that novel?

00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:42.860
 By the way, that follows Matthew 18.

00:36:42.940 --> 00:36:43.740
 Do you follow what it says?

00:36:44.780 --> 00:36:48.400
 Let me say it again because it's kind of a curiosity in our culture.

00:36:48.900 --> 00:36:51.280
 Go talk to the person that you've got a problem with.

00:36:52.420 --> 00:36:55.460
 Don't go talk to everybody else that's not there to solve the problem.

00:36:55.740 --> 00:36:57.219
 Yeah, I can't believe they did that.

00:36:57.679 --> 00:36:58.179
 You what?

00:36:58.460 --> 00:36:59.159
 You're kidding me.

00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:00.940
 I would do this.

00:37:01.940 --> 00:37:03.899
 Go talk to the person who's the problem.

00:37:04.699 --> 00:37:07.839
 And by the way, before you go talk to that person, what should you do?

00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:10.420
 Try a little bit of crow.

00:37:10.420 --> 00:37:21.059
 In Matthew chapter 7, it says, deal with that big bump in your own eye before you go deal, you know, deal with your heart and then go, let's solve the problem.

00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:25.960
 Okay, so getting close leads to one or two responses.

00:37:26.099 --> 00:37:29.960
 People pack up and move on or they actually grow closer together.

00:37:29.960 --> 00:37:32.420
 Let me tell you something.

00:37:32.420 --> 00:37:41.579
 I love Judith far more today than I loved her when after five weeks of dating, I said, will you marry me?

00:37:41.579 --> 00:37:43.739
 I am stunned that she said yes.

00:37:44.559 --> 00:37:45.940
 I tell her often.

00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:47.739
 Last night I said it.

00:37:47.860 --> 00:37:50.519
 Thank you for, I still say, thank you for marrying me.

00:37:50.519 --> 00:37:53.460
 But now here's an ugly truth.

00:37:53.460 --> 00:37:56.900
 You know, I found myself thinking, so what if the Lord took Judith away?

00:37:57.780 --> 00:38:01.900
 I thought to myself, I would not want to ever start over again.

00:38:02.739 --> 00:38:04.099
 Just too much work.

00:38:05.239 --> 00:38:06.259
 Deal with what you have.

00:38:06.380 --> 00:38:06.940
 Work through it.

00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:07.840
 Enjoy the blessings.

00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:09.200
 How many of you understood that?

00:38:11.539 --> 00:38:25.840
 One of the reasons that 16 of the one another commands are explicit statements about loving each other is because we have trouble with it.

00:38:28.900 --> 00:38:34.320
 So, how do you get involved if you're not already connected with a small group?

00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:37.360
 Here we come to the solicitation part.

00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:38.400
 Okay?

00:38:40.240 --> 00:38:45.260
 If you're not already connected to a small group and you are sitting here thinking, you know what?

00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:49.280
 I guess maybe that's something the Scriptures do encourage, so how do I do it?

00:38:49.539 --> 00:38:53.860
 First of all, let me or the office know that you're interested.

00:38:53.940 --> 00:39:04.519
 And the reason for that is because to have you go to a small group when they already are packed to the gills means that somebody has to sit in the garage and let you have their chair.

00:39:04.519 --> 00:39:07.900
 And we have some small groups that have more space.

00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:12.820
 And we'd rather have you be with people who, you know, there's extra space.

00:39:12.920 --> 00:39:16.260
 And so, you go to me or you go, Connie, wave your hand, would you please?

00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:18.059
 Connie, Connie, Connie, there you go.

00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:19.539
 Oh, that's really high.

00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:20.820
 There it is.

00:39:20.820 --> 00:39:23.600
 This is high-handed Mrs. Bernard.

00:39:23.940 --> 00:39:24.160
 Okay?

00:39:24.640 --> 00:39:30.320
 She is probably the more important person to talk to than me because if you go to me, I'll forget.

00:39:30.660 --> 00:39:31.559
 But, okay.

00:39:31.559 --> 00:39:42.279
 Let us know that you're interested and we will work to see that you find a place that you can fit in and be part of a small group.

00:39:43.019 --> 00:39:46.039
 So, what can you do if you're part of a small group?

00:39:46.460 --> 00:39:57.980
 Number one, ask God for help to use the time that you dedicate to Him to help you grow and be an instrument of growth in other people's lives.

00:39:57.980 --> 00:40:07.699
 You know, what a waste to actually go through the motions and not ask God to help you get the benefit out of the time.

00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:08.420
 Would you agree with that?

00:40:10.699 --> 00:40:15.780
 Lord, I'm going to be in small group from 1230 to 2.

00:40:16.300 --> 00:40:20.539
 I'm going to be in small group from 5 to 7 or whatever it is.

00:40:20.740 --> 00:40:25.179
 And, Lord, I want Your Spirit to help me grow during that time.

00:40:25.179 --> 00:40:30.559
 Secondly, be sensitive to the needs of other people in the group.

00:40:31.419 --> 00:40:39.319
 God puts you in a group not so you can be the center of attention but so that you can be part of a larger group for the sake of other people.

00:40:39.419 --> 00:40:43.419
 He puts us into relationships principally to be a blessing to other people and say,

00:40:43.519 --> 00:40:47.219
 Lord, I need Your help to be important in blessing other people.

00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:49.000
 Be a good listener.

00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:51.179
 Be respectful.

00:40:52.379 --> 00:40:54.199
 Teach your children to be respectful.

00:40:54.199 --> 00:40:55.699
 I was thinking about this the other day.

00:40:56.039 --> 00:40:57.519
 In the future, let's try this.

00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:00.799
 The next time we have an all-church dinner, everybody listening to me?

00:41:01.619 --> 00:41:04.219
 Why don't we let the elderly go first?

00:41:05.899 --> 00:41:08.799
 You know, I'm thinking there's a Bible verse that goes with that.

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:10.299
 Right?

00:41:11.359 --> 00:41:17.179
 This business of children going through first and taking eight legs of chicken or pieces of chicken

00:41:17.179 --> 00:41:19.639
 and ending up with six of them.

00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:21.739
 The trash doesn't fit the Bible.

00:41:22.739 --> 00:41:25.619
 And, by the way, when kids go through, where should parents be?

00:41:27.619 --> 00:41:29.960
 In line with them.

00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:32.719
 Family dynamic.

00:41:33.059 --> 00:41:33.279
 Right?

00:41:34.739 --> 00:41:35.639
 Everybody said amen.

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:36.500
 Amen.

00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:37.280
 Oh, that's good.

00:41:37.820 --> 00:41:38.000
 Okay.

00:41:38.199 --> 00:41:40.739
 Pastor Saul, I will forget, but the next time the elderly go first.

00:41:40.820 --> 00:41:40.940
 Right?

00:41:41.659 --> 00:41:45.099
 And I'm not talking about 65-year-olds, in case you're wondering.

00:41:46.940 --> 00:41:48.500
 I'm talking about people that are...

00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:51.119
 I'll stop.

00:41:53.159 --> 00:41:53.599
 Okay.

00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:54.599
 Third.

00:41:58.039 --> 00:42:00.579
 Pray for your leader and encourage them.

00:42:02.259 --> 00:42:04.819
 Hey, it's hard being a small group leader.

00:42:07.119 --> 00:42:08.159
 You pray for them.

00:42:09.179 --> 00:42:09.880
 Encourage them.

00:42:11.619 --> 00:42:14.099
 I haven't asked the small group leaders, but I would be curious.

00:42:14.219 --> 00:42:16.179
 When was the last time someone came to you and said,

00:42:16.259 --> 00:42:21.039
 Man, I can't tell you how important you are to me and what a blessing your ministry has been?

00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:23.599
 Let them know you love them and appreciate them.

00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:29.699
 Finally, be an active participant in your group.

00:42:31.179 --> 00:42:31.739
 Show up.

00:42:32.639 --> 00:42:33.360
 Show up.

00:42:34.219 --> 00:42:34.980
 Show up.

00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:42.800
 Some of you are more faithful to a sport event than you are to small group and the church of the living God.

00:42:43.519 --> 00:42:45.460
 Is that according to scriptures?

00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:46.699
 And what's the answer?

00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:47.960
 No.

00:42:49.059 --> 00:42:49.400
 No.

00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:49.440
 No.

00:42:50.539 --> 00:42:51.420
 Let's close in prayer.

00:42:53.519 --> 00:42:54.240
 Father...