WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:16.820
 Hi, my name is George Sinclair. I'm the lead pastor of Church of the Messiah. It is wonderful

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 that you would like to check out some of the sermons done by Church of the Messiah,

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 either by myself or some of the others. Listen, just a couple of things. First of all,

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 would you pray for us that we will open God's Word well to His glory and for the good of people

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 like yourself? The second thing is, if you aren't connected to a church and if you are a Christian,

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 I would really like to encourage you to find a good local church where they believe the Bible,

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 they preach the gospel, and if you have some trouble finding that, send us an email. We will

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 do what we can to help connect you with a good local church wherever you are. And if you're a

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 non-Christian checking us out, we're really, really, really glad you're doing that. Don't hesitate to

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 send us questions. It helps me actually to know, as I'm preaching, how to deal with the types of

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 things that you're really struggling with. So God bless.

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 Let's just bow our heads in prayer as we stand. Father, sometimes Your Word frightens us,

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 and even maybe Father embarrasses us if our friends who follow other ways were to hear this. We ask,

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 Father, that Your Holy Spirit would lead us and guide us into all truth,

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 that You would bring a deep remembrance to us, Father, of who Jesus is and what He's accomplished

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 for us on the cross, and to understand that the words You speak to us are words of love

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 and words of wisdom for our good. And we ask this in the name of Jesus, Your Son and our Savior. Amen.

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 Please be seated. And I set my timer.

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 So I've had the great privilege over the years to try to help different people learn how to do some,

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 you know, not just some public speaking in general, but also in particular how to open the Bible,

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 how to teach the Bible. And one of the things that we always say, it's just a very common thing in

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 rhetoric, is you want to have an opening that grabs people, that makes either create some tension that

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 has to be resolved or create some curiosity, which people are curious about what's going to happen next.

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 And you cannot beat, in terms of creating tension, saying in Canada in 2024,

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 likewise wives be subject to your own husbands,

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 which is immediately tension-inducing for many people and curiosity-inducing forever, for others.

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 The first time I preached on this text was, I don't know, 10 or 12 years ago. At that time,

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 there was a coffee place down on Rideau Street that I'd go to between the services, and I was

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 coming back, cutting behind the Ottawa Little Theatre to come into this store, and an older saint from

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 the congregation looked at me, and I was wearing my Birkenstocks, and he said to me,

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 no, you don't have your dancing shoes on. And I said, dancing shoes? He said, well, I always look forward to

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 ministers speaking on texts like this, to see how they dance around the text and never deal with it.

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 And so, once again, I don't have any dancing shoes on, I have sandals, but I don't want to make light of a text

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 which is so hard and threatening for many Canadians. So first, what we're going to do is, I'm going to read through the text,

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 and then I'm going to, well, make a lot of different comments about it, and at the end of the day, I'm going to commend the text to you.

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 So if you have your Bibles, it's 1 Peter 3, verses 1 to 7. If you don't have your Bibles, those blue books over there are Bibles.

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 You can get up of your seat and go and grab your own, or if you have a YouVersion, you can look at it on your phone.

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 So here's how the text goes. Likewise, so it's, he's earlier given some advice to slaves, and it's connecting

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 what he's about to say to women who are married, Christian women who are married, and Christian men who are married.

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 He's connecting it to the whole general moral teaching that he'd given before in the first two chapters.

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 So likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,

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 they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.

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 Now just pause here for two short little things.

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 I spend time in academic commentaries as part of my preparation for a sermon like this,

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 and one of the things I, in particular, am looking for is to see whether there's some translation issues

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 from the original language into the modern language.

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 And sometimes, of course, there's multiple meanings or a range of meaning or something like that,

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 and I could say a couple of things about the word be in submission or subject to,

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 but at the end of the day, the word's actually, it's, all of this text is actually quite well translated into English.

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 It's not, I'm not going to be able, in a sense, to rescue some of the problems that we might have with the text

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 by saying, well, in the original language, it's, no, that's not an option to us.

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 There is a language thing which isn't quite caught later on, which I'll mention,

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 but this is fairly well translated.

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 Verse 2, oh, sorry, we'll just go back a bit.

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 So even if some do not, oh, by saying if some do not,

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 it's implying that not all Christian women are married to Christian men.

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 So this is a word to Christian wives, regardless as to whether or not your husband is a Christian,

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 and actually the same idea is there later on with husbands,

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 but that's where I'm actually going to show the original language brings out a nuance that you can't get in English.

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 But the husbands, it's, once again, it's recognizing that not all Christian husbands will have Christian wives.

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 So regardless as to whether your wife is a Christian or outside of the Christian faith,

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 the command to the husband is still the same.

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 So verse 2, when they, that's referring to the wife's husband,

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 when they see your respectful and pure conduct,

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 do not let your adorning be external,

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 the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold, jewelry, or the clothing you wear,

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 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart

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 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

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 which in God's sight is very precious.

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 And just before we go any farther,

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 the text isn't saying that a woman shouldn't wear makeup or really beautiful dresses

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 or anything like that.

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 It's just really saying put first things first.

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 And the first thing is, in a sense, you work on you.

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 And the second thing is you work on your clothing.

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 I don't know how many of you, if you go into the self-help sections of libraries

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 and you read books on how to have a good attitude or something like that,

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 one of the things you'll see in those often is,

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 they'll use the example of how much time a person might spend in the morning to look good,

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 and then ask yourself how much time you spend to get yourself with having a good attitude for the day.

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 And a lot of people spend their time in the bathroom looking at the mirror,

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 being grumpy about their day,

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 and all their time to look good.

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 And they'll say, you know, what attracts you to people is actually working on your inner self.

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 That's what attracts you.

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 That's often what gets, you know, the promotions or etc.

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 is that inner aspect of your life in terms of your attitudes and your thoughts and your habits.

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 So it's actually, in some ways, this is no different than the self-help literature

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 is just, in a sense, playing a riff on this old Christian teaching.

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 So it's not saying to women, don't put on makeup or anything like that.

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 It's saying, make sure this is the first thing that you're working on.

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 Verse 5,

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 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way or with knowledge.

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 It could either be translated as understanding or with knowledge.

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 Showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.

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 Yikes.

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 We're going to talk about that in a bit.

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 Since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,

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 so that your prayers may not be hindered.

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 And in the original language, that word, heirs with you,

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 there's a bit of a double meaning in the original language.

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 And it's saying, so that someday they might be heirs or that they already are heirs with you.

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 So it's once again acknowledging that the Christian husband might not have a Christian wife.

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 And as you'll notice, there's six verses spoken to the wife

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 and only one verse that's spoken to the husband.

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 And so some of you might say, whoa, that's way worse than I remembered

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 when Emma read the text just a few minutes ago.

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 And it just seems very, very sort of wrong to us.

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 Referring to a woman, the wife, as a weaker vessel.

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 Every single one of us, like I could get up here and I could effortlessly go on a rant about this text.

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 And I could well imagine that if I was to read something like this at the University of Ottawa,

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 if I was to, not only to, if I read this at the,

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 if I read this amongst the conservative MPs or the liberal MPs or the NDP MPs,

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 there'd probably be no difference in their reaction to it.

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 And people would tell me that I have blood on my hands if I don't repent of this text

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 and tell people to disregard it.

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 That telling wives to be submitting to their husbands will lead to the violence against women

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 and literally death of women, that I actually literally would have blood on my hands.

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 But I'm not going to go, we all know, we all can easily fill in the blanks

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 about how people would talk about this text.

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 And I'm going to walk towards that.

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 But what I'm going to do is I'm going to give two points.

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 I'm going to give a big picture explanation of the seven verses.

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 And then I'm going to talk about some of the objections to it.

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 And then I'll come back and help us to understand these particular big lessons.

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 And so if you could put up the first one, that would be very helpful.

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 And the first one is from Jesus to the wife.

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 Remember, if those of you heard my sermon last week on slavery,

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 one of the things which is unique about this biblical text,

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 which isn't obvious in the English, is that Peter talks directly to slaves.

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 He talks to them as if they have integrity, autonomy.

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 I mean, they don't have full autonomy because they're slaves, obviously.

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 In a very fundamental way, they don't.

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 But internally, they have integrity.

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 They have dignity.

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 They can do something even in their context.

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 So he's talking directly to them.

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 And in the same way here, we have a similar type of thing.

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 For those of us who are husbands, we listen in while the text speaks directly to wives.

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 And then for those who are wives, we listen in directly as God speaks directly to the husbands.

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 And for those who are not married, we all get to listen in to what the word of God says directly to each group.

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 So from Jesus to the wife, you have a quest.

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 And I'm using the word quest because one of the standard ways of understanding a quest is it's a long endeavor that changes you.

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 It's a long endeavor towards a goal, towards an end that changes you in the process.

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 Classic example would be in The Lord of the Rings and Frodo's quest to destroy the ring.

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 And it takes a lot of pages.

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 It goes through lots of hardship.

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 And it changes him in the whole process as he's on this long quest.

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 And so how we should hear these texts is that in both cases, it's going to be a quest.

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 So from Jesus to the wife, you have a quest with three strands woven together to learn to submit to and respect your husband,

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 to grow a deeply quiet and gentle spirit, to learn to live without fear.

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 And three strands that are complementary, three strands woven together will make it far stronger.

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 And of course, if it's mixed with different colors, it will also be more beautiful.

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 And so I've used that analogy on purpose, that there are these three complementary strands, but they're different.

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 And they're to be woven together, to learn to submit to and respect your husband,

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 and to grow a deeply quiet and gentle spirit, and to learn to live without fear.

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 And now there's a direct word to the husbands.

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 From Jesus to the husband, you have a quest.

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 If you could put up the second point, that would be great.

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 You have a quest with three strands and a solemn warning woven together.

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 The wife doesn't have a solemn warning.

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 The husband has a solemn warning.

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 What are the three strands?

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 To lovingly know or understand your wife, to honour her as precious or worthy,

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 to remember that she's your co-heir in glory,

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 and to refuse this quest will mean that your prayers are hindered.

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 So once again, there's three strands.

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 Complimentary, that have to be woven together.

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 And it's still a quest.

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 The quest is, for me as a husband, is to lovingly know and understand my wife,

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 to honour her as precious or worthy,

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 to remember at all times, or in a deep way, that she's my co-heir in glory,

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 and for me to refuse to do these things,

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 means that my prayers will be hindered.

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 Now, some of you might say,

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 okay, George, that's a little bit different than what I thought you were going to say and summarize,

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 but, you know, frankly, it still sucks.

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 Like, it's terrible advice, George.

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 Like, how, this is 2024.

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 Like, you're in downtown Ottawa.

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 You're minutes from the Parliament building.

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 You're minutes from CBC.

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 Your embassies all surround you.

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 There's University of Ottawa's right there.

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 How on earth can you still stand up here and say that's the summary of the text?

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 Like, first of all, why is it so terrible to women,

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 and why are they having something which is so completely and utterly different?

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 Like, why aren't they, like, maybe, you know, maybe I could accept it if it said,

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 okay, husband, submit to your wife, wife, submit to your husband.

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 Like, I still think that's terrible, George,

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 because, you know, surely you'd think that it's not a matter of submission.

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 It's a matter of finding your power, learning how to roar,

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 grabbing a hold of your own destiny,

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 and expecting, honoring each other's quest to be more powerful,

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 to be stronger, to roar, to be themselves.

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 Like, there's all sorts of, but, you know, it's terrible advice,

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 and it's different advice, and George, like,

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 frankly, George, I don't even know what to say to you.

00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:48.560
 Well, there's a little bit of a pushback

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 before we lose too much sleep over this.

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 And, by the way, if you're here outside the Christian faith,

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 and you don't know much about Christians,

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 texts like this terrify Christians.

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 Like, if you watch this thinking that this is something

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 that we beat our chest on all the time,

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 and talk about all the time,

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 I can guarantee you that if you go to most conservative churches in the city,

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 they're terrified of texts like this,

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 and they rarely talk about it.

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 I can guarantee you that that's the case.

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 And if they do talk about it,

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 they undermine the text.

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 They say, well, well, well, you know,

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 there's other places in the Bible

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 that says that we should all be quiet, have quiet minds.

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 And there's other places in the Bible

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 where it says we should all submit.

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 And they all give you all these different Bible verses,

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 and the end of the way is that they've erased the text.

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 So if you're outside the Christian faith,

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 you should understand that's a problem.

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 I would say it's a problem for Canadian Christians right now.

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 But how do we respond to this

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 and to the voices we hear in our head from our culture?

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 Here's the first thing.

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 For 55 years,

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 there has been a consistent message in Canada,

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 fairly consistent types of messaging in Canada

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 about how to have successful marriages for 55 years.

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 And the marriage has all been not about submission,

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 about autonomy,

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 about a whole range of things like that.

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 We could all effortlessly list,

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 probably if we just sat down,

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 what's the five pieces of marriage advice

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 or seven pieces of marriage advice that our culture gives us?

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 And we'd probably put it all down.

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 And at the end of the day,

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 we'd probably come up with a list of 10 or 11 things

00:17:19.660 --> 00:17:22.019
 that say we'd all agree that this is what Canadians would say.

00:17:22.339 --> 00:17:24.740
 And here's the question we have to ask Canadians.

00:17:25.779 --> 00:17:26.660
 How is it working?

00:17:28.940 --> 00:17:31.099
 After 55 years of advice,

00:17:31.859 --> 00:17:33.799
 are marriages way up?

00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:36.200
 Are there no divorces?

00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:38.860
 Is there no abuse in marriage?

00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:41.580
 Are all children wanted?

00:17:42.420 --> 00:17:44.880
 Are people open to even having children?

00:17:45.500 --> 00:17:47.019
 Are people marrying early

00:17:47.019 --> 00:17:49.580
 because it's such a good thing they want to get in on it?

00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:53.039
 No.

00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:58.340
 Marriages are down.

00:17:59.480 --> 00:18:00.600
 Abortions are up.

00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:04.899
 Unhappiness is way up.

00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:09.919
 Insecurities are way up.

00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:15.659
 We've had 55 years of consistent advice,

00:18:15.859 --> 00:18:19.480
 and it is not making men and women in Canada happier.

00:18:19.980 --> 00:18:22.379
 And it is not making us have better marriages.

00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:26.379
 Einstein famously said that one definition of insanity

00:18:26.379 --> 00:18:27.959
 is to do the same thing over and over,

00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:29.319
 hoping for different results.

00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:30.779
 And that's our Canadian culture.

00:18:32.339 --> 00:18:34.480
 So, you know, if in fact they could say,

00:18:34.539 --> 00:18:34.919
 listen, you know,

00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:36.579
 there used to be this old way of talking about things,

00:18:36.639 --> 00:18:37.819
 and for the last 55 years,

00:18:38.220 --> 00:18:39.799
 you know, we've taught a new and better way

00:18:39.799 --> 00:18:40.539
 to talk about marriage.

00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:43.000
 And just look at how spectacular everything in Canada is.

00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:43.839
 And then we might have to say,

00:18:43.879 --> 00:18:44.359
 well, I don't know,

00:18:44.439 --> 00:18:47.500
 maybe this text doesn't have anything to teach us.

00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:48.639
 But that's not the case.

00:18:51.460 --> 00:18:53.359
 In fact, I can tell you absolutely right now,

00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:56.359
 if your marriage advice is to learn how to roar

00:18:56.359 --> 00:18:59.579
 and be your authentic self,

00:18:59.579 --> 00:19:03.019
 that is a recipe to ruin a marriage.

00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:10.919
 It's a recipe to make it hard for you to marry.

00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:14.820
 And here's another thing about this.

00:19:14.940 --> 00:19:15.259
 Okay, well,

00:19:15.380 --> 00:19:15.860
 okay, well,

00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:19.380
 maybe you have something there.

00:19:19.420 --> 00:19:20.180
 Maybe we should listen.

00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:21.880
 And now that I look at your points,

00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:23.320
 there's a couple of good things in there.

00:19:23.420 --> 00:19:24.700
 Like you said to the women,

00:19:25.060 --> 00:19:25.539
 the wives,

00:19:25.620 --> 00:19:27.279
 that they're to learn to live without fear.

00:19:27.420 --> 00:19:29.000
 Okay, that's actually a really good point.

00:19:29.080 --> 00:19:29.980
 I'm a little bit surprised

00:19:29.980 --> 00:19:31.140
 that I actually have to say

00:19:31.140 --> 00:19:32.720
 that that's actually pretty smart advice.

00:19:32.840 --> 00:19:34.140
 I'm a bit surprised it's in the Bible.

00:19:35.019 --> 00:19:35.560
 I don't know,

00:19:35.600 --> 00:19:36.740
 it's still making women a bit passive.

00:19:36.820 --> 00:19:39.300
 I still understand why the men and women are different,

00:19:39.299 --> 00:19:40.879
 and I think that's just completely wrong.

00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:41.419
 And then to that,

00:19:41.500 --> 00:19:42.419
 we have another time out.

00:19:44.419 --> 00:19:45.000
 You see,

00:19:45.139 --> 00:19:49.879
 our culture is incoherent about women.

00:19:52.539 --> 00:19:54.159
 Why are we incoherent about women?

00:19:54.259 --> 00:19:54.399
 Well,

00:19:54.440 --> 00:19:55.659
 here's four different messages

00:19:55.659 --> 00:19:57.359
 we hear about women in our culture.

00:19:57.960 --> 00:19:58.839
 Message number one,

00:19:59.339 --> 00:20:00.000
 women are very,

00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:01.480
 very specific and unique

00:20:01.480 --> 00:20:02.839
 and different types of people.

00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:05.899
 And their voice absolutely has to be heard.

00:20:06.399 --> 00:20:07.099
 And that's why

00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:08.399
 whenever Pierre Polyev,

00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:09.640
 if he wins the next election

00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:11.040
 or if Trudeau wins a re-election,

00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:12.740
 he should really make sure

00:20:12.740 --> 00:20:14.660
 that there's at least 50% men

00:20:14.660 --> 00:20:15.759
 and 50% women

00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:16.900
 because you need to hear

00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:19.200
 the very distinct and unique voice of women

00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:20.500
 in cabinet.

00:20:20.800 --> 00:20:21.880
 And you need the same thing

00:20:21.880 --> 00:20:23.340
 in university faculties,

00:20:23.420 --> 00:20:24.300
 you need the same thing

00:20:24.300 --> 00:20:25.680
 in boardrooms.

00:20:25.900 --> 00:20:28.920
 Women have this very unique voice

00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:30.500
 which needs to be heard.

00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.320
 Our culture also says,

00:20:34.580 --> 00:20:36.480
 might even be by the same blogger,

00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:37.720
 a week later,

00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:37.740
 a week later,

00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:40.440
 men and women are basically the same.

00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:42.059
 The only thing that's different about them

00:20:42.059 --> 00:20:42.779
 is their plumbing

00:20:42.779 --> 00:20:44.839
 and they should be treated completely

00:20:44.839 --> 00:20:46.779
 and utterly equally in all things.

00:20:47.420 --> 00:20:48.660
 And then a week later,

00:20:48.740 --> 00:20:49.779
 there'll be another blog.

00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:51.620
 We all know that gender differences

00:20:51.620 --> 00:20:53.140
 are a social construct.

00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:55.160
 They're just invented by our culture

00:20:55.160 --> 00:20:56.400
 and generally they're oppressive.

00:20:56.620 --> 00:20:56.759
 Okay,

00:20:56.839 --> 00:20:56.940
 well,

00:20:56.980 --> 00:20:57.319
 one moment,

00:20:57.400 --> 00:20:58.059
 if that's the case,

00:20:58.120 --> 00:20:58.720
 then why is it

00:20:58.720 --> 00:20:59.980
 that you need the same 50%

00:20:59.980 --> 00:21:00.660
 on the boardrooms?

00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:02.839
 And our culture never asks that question.

00:21:02.839 --> 00:21:03.779
 And really,

00:21:03.879 --> 00:21:04.720
 you think men and women

00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.079
 are so clear and distinct

00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:07.559
 that you can be very clear

00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:09.059
 and that's why you need 50% men

00:21:09.059 --> 00:21:09.980
 and 50% women.

00:21:10.119 --> 00:21:11.379
 If men and women

00:21:11.379 --> 00:21:12.599
 are so completely distinct,

00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:13.639
 then why is it

00:21:13.639 --> 00:21:14.359
 that I could declare

00:21:14.359 --> 00:21:15.039
 that I'm a woman

00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:16.659
 and you need to accept it?

00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:19.159
 How on earth

00:21:19.159 --> 00:21:20.659
 is that showing

00:21:20.659 --> 00:21:21.399
 that there's actually

00:21:21.399 --> 00:21:23.000
 something powerful

00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:24.199
 and unique about a woman?

00:21:25.980 --> 00:21:26.919
 And once again,

00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:27.819
 in our culture,

00:21:27.899 --> 00:21:29.119
 you could have the same blogger

00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:30.799
 writing each one of those points

00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:32.019
 four consecutive weeks

00:21:32.019 --> 00:21:32.919
 and never thinking

00:21:32.919 --> 00:21:33.899
 that they've said anything

00:21:33.899 --> 00:21:36.440
 inconsistent or incoherent.

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:39.980
 In some ways,

00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:41.200
 our culture has to

00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:42.680
 pick a lane

00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:45.899
 before you criticize this text.

00:21:46.839 --> 00:21:47.700
 Pick a lane.

00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:52.200
 But George,

00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:54.079
 what about women being weaker?

00:21:54.220 --> 00:21:55.500
 Didn't it say that in the text?

00:21:55.720 --> 00:21:56.039
 Like, George,

00:21:56.359 --> 00:21:57.480
 George,

00:21:57.740 --> 00:21:58.379
 that's just

00:21:58.380 --> 00:22:01.000
 so wrong

00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:02.100
 to say,

00:22:03.620 --> 00:22:04.460
 well, actually,

00:22:04.520 --> 00:22:05.220
 I think the Bible's

00:22:05.220 --> 00:22:06.720
 actually pretty wise on this.

00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:07.760
 And in fact,

00:22:07.840 --> 00:22:08.060
 actually,

00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.340
 I think the Bible here

00:22:09.340 --> 00:22:10.040
 is giving

00:22:10.040 --> 00:22:11.840
 what we deeply want

00:22:11.840 --> 00:22:12.660
 in our culture.

00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:14.480
 It's subverting

00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:15.160
 our culture,

00:22:15.340 --> 00:22:16.280
 but at the same time,

00:22:16.360 --> 00:22:17.460
 if you listen to the Bible,

00:22:17.560 --> 00:22:18.180
 it's giving us

00:22:18.180 --> 00:22:20.040
 what we actually really want

00:22:20.040 --> 00:22:21.200
 and long for

00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:23.420
 beneath our incoherence.

00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:25.380
 Why do I say that?

00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:26.520
 Okay,

00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:27.860
 women aren't the weaker vessel.

00:22:28.380 --> 00:22:29.760
 I think

00:22:29.760 --> 00:22:31.200
 Mike Tyson

00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:31.860
 should be able

00:22:31.860 --> 00:22:32.260
 to fight

00:22:32.260 --> 00:22:33.360
 mixed martial arts

00:22:33.360 --> 00:22:34.340
 with women.

00:22:36.340 --> 00:22:37.380
 I think whoever

00:22:37.380 --> 00:22:38.620
 is the heavyweight champion

00:22:38.620 --> 00:22:39.880
 of mixed martial arts

00:22:39.880 --> 00:22:40.840
 man should be able

00:22:40.840 --> 00:22:41.760
 to fight women equally.

00:22:44.280 --> 00:22:45.640
 If you believe that,

00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:46.800
 you will literally

00:22:46.800 --> 00:22:48.300
 have blood on your hands.

00:22:49.360 --> 00:22:49.700
 Literally,

00:22:49.940 --> 00:22:50.840
 you will have blood

00:22:50.840 --> 00:22:51.560
 on your hands.

00:22:51.559 --> 00:22:54.960
 The man would kill

00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:55.359
 the woman,

00:22:56.039 --> 00:22:57.079
 not on purpose,

00:22:57.220 --> 00:22:57.700
 but he would.

00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:00.559
 What about Leah Thomas?

00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:04.299
 What's the 146th

00:23:04.299 --> 00:23:05.559
 ranked college swimmer?

00:23:05.679 --> 00:23:07.079
 And he declares

00:23:07.079 --> 00:23:08.339
 that he's a woman

00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:09.179
 and he wins

00:23:09.179 --> 00:23:11.259
 the woman's races?

00:23:11.259 --> 00:23:14.900
 But here's the thing

00:23:14.900 --> 00:23:15.879
 about this text.

00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:16.960
 On one hand,

00:23:17.019 --> 00:23:17.720
 this is just saying

00:23:17.720 --> 00:23:18.200
 anything,

00:23:18.660 --> 00:23:18.819
 I mean,

00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:19.900
 who knows,

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:20.980
 maybe we'll get cancelled

00:23:20.980 --> 00:23:22.099
 because I just said this

00:23:22.099 --> 00:23:22.759
 and it's on YouTube

00:23:22.759 --> 00:23:23.920
 and somebody will find out.

00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:24.980
 But we all know

00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:25.539
 that's true

00:23:25.539 --> 00:23:26.460
 and people just don't

00:23:26.460 --> 00:23:27.559
 want to say it out loud.

00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:29.160
 Very few people

00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:30.140
 want to say it out loud.

00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:31.500
 But at the same time,

00:23:31.559 --> 00:23:32.400
 this is not saying

00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:33.480
 anything derogatory

00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:34.180
 about women

00:23:34.180 --> 00:23:36.940
 because of that text

00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:37.859
 about developing

00:23:37.859 --> 00:23:39.199
 a quiet spirit.

00:23:40.199 --> 00:23:41.319
 Who's stronger?

00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:44.740
 A person with a chaotic spirit

00:23:44.740 --> 00:23:46.639
 or a quiet spirit?

00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:48.579
 Who's stronger?

00:23:49.019 --> 00:23:50.459
 The person who cannot

00:23:50.459 --> 00:23:52.119
 control their impulses,

00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:54.099
 cannot control their greed,

00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:55.759
 cannot control their lust,

00:23:56.179 --> 00:23:57.619
 cannot control their anger,

00:23:58.099 --> 00:23:58.939
 cannot control

00:23:58.939 --> 00:24:00.099
 their power hungriness,

00:24:00.579 --> 00:24:01.279
 cannot just,

00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:02.859
 whatever whim strikes them,

00:24:02.919 --> 00:24:03.539
 they want to get

00:24:03.539 --> 00:24:04.219
 what they want

00:24:04.219 --> 00:24:05.039
 and they have,

00:24:05.199 --> 00:24:05.399
 in fact,

00:24:05.459 --> 00:24:06.519
 a chaotic spirit.

00:24:06.639 --> 00:24:07.619
 Who is stronger?

00:24:07.619 --> 00:24:08.639
 A person like that

00:24:08.639 --> 00:24:09.139
 or a person

00:24:09.139 --> 00:24:10.179
 who's quiet and calm?

00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:12.319
 We all know

00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:12.839
 that the person

00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:13.579
 who's quiet and calm

00:24:13.579 --> 00:24:14.719
 is the stronger person.

00:24:15.419 --> 00:24:16.379
 Constant movies,

00:24:16.639 --> 00:24:17.619
 constant novels,

00:24:18.739 --> 00:24:20.139
 the person always flying,

00:24:20.219 --> 00:24:20.759
 the boss,

00:24:20.879 --> 00:24:21.339
 the husband,

00:24:21.479 --> 00:24:21.959
 the wife,

00:24:22.399 --> 00:24:23.639
 always flying off

00:24:23.639 --> 00:24:24.339
 in rages

00:24:24.339 --> 00:24:25.839
 and often the underlings

00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:26.339
 are the ones

00:24:26.339 --> 00:24:27.039
 that actually have

00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.079
 the quiet spirit,

00:24:28.500 --> 00:24:29.679
 can put up with the things

00:24:29.679 --> 00:24:30.399
 and just quietly

00:24:30.399 --> 00:24:31.359
 get things done.

00:24:31.739 --> 00:24:32.459
 We all know

00:24:32.459 --> 00:24:33.159
 that in the event

00:24:33.159 --> 00:24:34.539
 of some terrible tragedy

00:24:34.539 --> 00:24:35.000
 happening

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:35.639
 and some of us

00:24:35.639 --> 00:24:36.539
 completely and utterly

00:24:36.539 --> 00:24:37.700
 come unglued

00:24:37.700 --> 00:24:39.139
 and can't think straight

00:24:39.139 --> 00:24:40.639
 and maybe we're crying

00:24:40.639 --> 00:24:41.379
 and we're raging

00:24:41.379 --> 00:24:42.440
 and we're worrying

00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:43.859
 and then we're completely frozen

00:24:43.859 --> 00:24:45.139
 and we feel afterwards

00:24:45.139 --> 00:24:46.240
 that it's such a blessing

00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:48.000
 that somebody who loves us

00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:48.759
 and cares for us

00:24:48.759 --> 00:24:49.500
 comes alongside

00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:50.399
 and they're calm

00:24:50.399 --> 00:24:52.000
 and they can make the decisions.

00:24:52.420 --> 00:24:53.279
 The calm person

00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:54.680
 is the strong person

00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:57.119
 and it even goes further

00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:58.059
 because when it talks

00:24:58.059 --> 00:24:58.659
 about a quiet

00:24:58.659 --> 00:24:59.539
 and gentle spirit,

00:24:59.539 --> 00:25:00.859
 the quiet spirit

00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:03.859
 is not a passive spirit.

00:25:05.119 --> 00:25:06.759
 The quiet spirit

00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:08.460
 is the strong spirit.

00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:11.359
 Simple example.

00:25:12.519 --> 00:25:13.180
 Daniel Avitan,

00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:14.460
 there's me,

00:25:14.980 --> 00:25:15.740
 Daniel Avitan.

00:25:16.539 --> 00:25:17.559
 There's me,

00:25:18.139 --> 00:25:19.119
 there's Daniel Avitan.

00:25:19.879 --> 00:25:20.099
 Okay?

00:25:20.220 --> 00:25:20.960
 Look at our arms,

00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:21.639
 there's me,

00:25:21.799 --> 00:25:22.779
 there's Daniel Avitan,

00:25:23.019 --> 00:25:23.200
 right?

00:25:23.700 --> 00:25:24.819
 How easy would it be

00:25:24.819 --> 00:25:25.379
 for me to push

00:25:25.379 --> 00:25:26.399
 Daniel Avitan over?

00:25:28.980 --> 00:25:29.339
 Well,

00:25:29.700 --> 00:25:30.019
 I mean,

00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:30.339
 maybe,

00:25:31.659 --> 00:25:31.939
 you know,

00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:32.980
 just because I'm his boss,

00:25:33.059 --> 00:25:33.919
 he'd let me push him

00:25:33.919 --> 00:25:34.500
 a little bit,

00:25:34.639 --> 00:25:35.700
 but the fact is

00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:36.179
 if he just wanted

00:25:36.179 --> 00:25:37.220
 to stand his ground,

00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:37.460
 you know,

00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:38.240
 or me and Andrew,

00:25:38.399 --> 00:25:39.259
 or me and Patrick,

00:25:40.339 --> 00:25:41.179
 how easy do you think

00:25:41.179 --> 00:25:41.519
 it's going to be

00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:42.839
 to push Andrew over?

00:25:44.619 --> 00:25:45.519
 He's going to just be

00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:46.379
 quiet and calm.

00:25:46.839 --> 00:25:47.740
 Same with Patrick.

00:25:49.399 --> 00:25:50.099
 Wouldn't even be

00:25:50.099 --> 00:25:51.000
 working up a sweat

00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:52.379
 as I try to push them over.

00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:54.299
 This is passive.

00:25:54.819 --> 00:25:55.720
 Throw it away.

00:25:56.700 --> 00:25:57.559
 The chaotic spirit

00:25:57.559 --> 00:25:58.720
 is the passive spirit,

00:25:58.899 --> 00:26:01.159
 overwhelmed by passions,

00:26:01.339 --> 00:26:02.960
 idols, fears, whims,

00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:04.480
 insecurities,

00:26:05.439 --> 00:26:06.399
 insanities.

00:26:08.379 --> 00:26:09.740
 The quiet spirit

00:26:09.740 --> 00:26:10.859
 is the strong spirit,

00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:14.539
 able to maintain a course,

00:26:14.899 --> 00:26:15.879
 able to see clearly,

00:26:16.519 --> 00:26:17.399
 able to choose,

00:26:19.299 --> 00:26:20.460
 able to love,

00:26:20.659 --> 00:26:21.480
 able to serve.

00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:23.139
 This Bible text

00:26:23.139 --> 00:26:24.460
 is actually warning

00:26:24.460 --> 00:26:25.940
 is actually calling

00:26:25.940 --> 00:26:26.420
 the woman

00:26:26.420 --> 00:26:27.019
 to develop

00:26:27.019 --> 00:26:27.740
 the strongest

00:26:27.740 --> 00:26:28.960
 possible strength.

00:26:31.579 --> 00:26:33.019
 And even the language

00:26:33.019 --> 00:26:34.079
 of co-heirs,

00:26:35.500 --> 00:26:36.819
 if you look at verse 7

00:26:36.819 --> 00:26:37.340
 where it says,

00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:37.559
 you know,

00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:39.039
 one of the things

00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:39.920
 for a husband

00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:40.600
 is to remember

00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:42.059
 that his wife

00:26:42.059 --> 00:26:43.779
 is an heir with him.

00:26:43.940 --> 00:26:44.559
 Ours just says,

00:26:44.660 --> 00:26:45.500
 are heirs with you

00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:46.740
 or it could be co-heirs.

00:26:46.740 --> 00:26:50.599
 should I add a couple

00:26:50.599 --> 00:26:51.359
 of other politically

00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:52.140
 incorrect things

00:26:52.140 --> 00:26:53.240
 to say in my particular

00:26:53.240 --> 00:26:54.160
 sermon this morning?

00:26:54.359 --> 00:26:56.299
 But here's the thing.

00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:00.140
 Increasingly in Canada,

00:27:01.420 --> 00:27:03.680
 rights and the protection

00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:05.519
 that come along with them

00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:07.680
 are merely that

00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:08.700
 which the courts

00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:11.160
 and the parliament

00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:12.640
 or the house of,

00:27:12.800 --> 00:27:14.160
 the parliament decides.

00:27:15.420 --> 00:27:16.740
 But when the Bible here

00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:18.019
 says that I'm to remember

00:27:18.019 --> 00:27:19.480
 that Louise is a co-heir

00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:20.080
 with me,

00:27:20.720 --> 00:27:21.360
 this is saying

00:27:21.360 --> 00:27:22.720
 something very profound.

00:27:24.120 --> 00:27:24.660
 You see,

00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:25.700
 because it's picking up

00:27:25.700 --> 00:27:26.380
 on an idea

00:27:26.380 --> 00:27:28.220
 that when Adam and Eve,

00:27:28.740 --> 00:27:28.900
 you know,

00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:29.600
 whether or not you believe

00:27:29.600 --> 00:27:30.080
 in them literally,

00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:31.100
 that's a whole other talk.

00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:31.900
 You can ask me about that

00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:32.380
 at coffee.

00:27:32.519 --> 00:27:33.900
 But that Adam and Eve,

00:27:34.460 --> 00:27:35.100
 in a sense,

00:27:35.279 --> 00:27:36.000
 they're created

00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:36.980
 so that human beings

00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:37.840
 would be the heir

00:27:37.840 --> 00:27:38.560
 of all things.

00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:39.559
 And that's squandered

00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:40.859
 when human beings fall

00:27:40.859 --> 00:27:42.379
 and they become proud

00:27:42.379 --> 00:27:43.879
 and they try to become

00:27:43.879 --> 00:27:44.700
 their own gods.

00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:46.759
 And so the whole message

00:27:46.759 --> 00:27:47.859
 of the gospel

00:27:47.859 --> 00:27:48.819
 is that God sees

00:27:48.819 --> 00:27:50.379
 our profound and deep need

00:27:50.379 --> 00:27:52.220
 and out of love for us

00:27:52.220 --> 00:27:53.139
 and knowing that we cannot

00:27:53.139 --> 00:27:54.039
 leave ourselves

00:27:54.039 --> 00:27:55.460
 to fix ourselves,

00:27:55.980 --> 00:27:57.539
 that he sends his son

00:27:57.539 --> 00:27:59.240
 to come and be amongst us

00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:00.079
 and to live the life

00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:00.919
 that we can live,

00:28:01.220 --> 00:28:02.099
 to die the death

00:28:02.099 --> 00:28:02.879
 that we deserve,

00:28:03.179 --> 00:28:04.279
 but that would unmake us,

00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:05.379
 to face the judgment

00:28:05.379 --> 00:28:06.179
 that we deserve,

00:28:06.579 --> 00:28:07.599
 to bear the shame

00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:08.299
 that we deserve,

00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:09.480
 all which would

00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:10.379
 completely and utterly

00:28:10.379 --> 00:28:11.039
 unmake us.

00:28:11.139 --> 00:28:12.159
 And he does all of that

00:28:12.159 --> 00:28:13.099
 for us completely

00:28:13.099 --> 00:28:14.419
 and utterly out of love.

00:28:14.740 --> 00:28:15.819
 And the purpose is

00:28:15.819 --> 00:28:16.839
 to restore us

00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:18.279
 to a relationship with him.

00:28:18.639 --> 00:28:19.819
 And so when the Bible text

00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:20.480
 is saying that

00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:22.079
 Louise and I are co-heirs,

00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:23.759
 it's saying that

00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:24.359
 there's something

00:28:24.359 --> 00:28:25.559
 about Louise and me

00:28:25.559 --> 00:28:26.599
 and our dignity

00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:28.240
 and our integrity

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:28.879
 and what it means

00:28:28.879 --> 00:28:29.539
 to be human

00:28:29.539 --> 00:28:31.039
 that is something

00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:32.279
 that God created

00:28:32.279 --> 00:28:33.659
 the entire universe

00:28:33.659 --> 00:28:35.539
 with having human beings

00:28:35.539 --> 00:28:36.399
 with this type

00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:38.240
 of proper dignity

00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:40.019
 and proper worth

00:28:40.019 --> 00:28:42.080
 and proper integrity.

00:28:42.620 --> 00:28:43.360
 And so it's saying

00:28:43.360 --> 00:28:44.259
 that there's something

00:28:44.259 --> 00:28:45.180
 about human beings

00:28:45.180 --> 00:28:45.820
 and their integrity

00:28:45.820 --> 00:28:46.980
 that goes all the way

00:28:46.980 --> 00:28:47.759
 into the very,

00:28:47.900 --> 00:28:49.080
 very depths of time

00:28:49.080 --> 00:28:50.300
 and ancient time

00:28:50.300 --> 00:28:51.280
 and it's woven

00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:52.100
 into our very,

00:28:52.220 --> 00:28:52.900
 very nature.

00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:54.080
 And by the time

00:28:54.080 --> 00:28:54.620
 the same language

00:28:54.620 --> 00:28:55.320
 errs,

00:28:55.380 --> 00:28:55.960
 it's saying that

00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:57.400
 no matter how high

00:28:57.400 --> 00:28:58.360
 a mystic goes,

00:28:58.440 --> 00:28:59.140
 it goes right

00:28:59.140 --> 00:28:59.840
 into the future,

00:28:59.940 --> 00:29:00.880
 it goes into the new heaven

00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:01.560
 and the new earth,

00:29:01.559 --> 00:29:02.619
 that there's something

00:29:02.619 --> 00:29:04.700
 equal that has integrity

00:29:04.700 --> 00:29:05.720
 and dignity

00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:07.679
 and a proper place

00:29:07.679 --> 00:29:08.859
 that's given by God,

00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:10.000
 not by the state.

00:29:10.339 --> 00:29:11.919
 The state will be judged

00:29:11.919 --> 00:29:12.619
 by God

00:29:12.619 --> 00:29:13.440
 in whether or not

00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:14.359
 it recognizes

00:29:14.359 --> 00:29:15.220
 the integrity

00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:16.000
 and dignity

00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:17.440
 of human beings

00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:18.519
 because the state

00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:19.220
 does not get

00:29:19.220 --> 00:29:19.960
 to decide that

00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:20.740
 and there's something

00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:22.000
 that is of dignity

00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:22.940
 and worth

00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:24.399
 that goes right back

00:29:24.399 --> 00:29:25.059
 to creation

00:29:25.059 --> 00:29:25.679
 and goes into

00:29:25.679 --> 00:29:26.700
 the new creation

00:29:26.700 --> 00:29:27.759
 and that's what

00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:29.000
 the Bible is telling us,

00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:30.099
 that there is such

00:29:30.099 --> 00:29:31.740
 a profound equality

00:29:31.740 --> 00:29:32.920
 between men and women

00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:34.000
 that goes right back

00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:34.660
 to creation

00:29:34.660 --> 00:29:36.220
 and into the new creation

00:29:36.220 --> 00:29:37.680
 and at the same time

00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:38.680
 the difference

00:29:38.680 --> 00:29:39.720
 between a man and woman

00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:40.940
 is mysterious

00:29:40.940 --> 00:29:41.839
 and obviously

00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:42.400
 it's going to work

00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:44.220
 itself out in a different case

00:29:44.220 --> 00:29:45.579
 in every particular person

00:29:45.579 --> 00:29:46.119
 it's going to be

00:29:46.119 --> 00:29:47.019
 culturally different

00:29:47.019 --> 00:29:48.299
 but there's something

00:29:48.299 --> 00:29:49.599
 there which is different.

00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:52.920
 There's something there

00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:53.740
 which is different.

00:29:53.740 --> 00:30:00.120
 Let's look at our two points

00:30:00.120 --> 00:30:01.819
 and just try to listen to them.

00:30:02.359 --> 00:30:03.339
 If you could put them up again

00:30:03.339 --> 00:30:04.359
 that would be very helpful.

00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:06.460
 So the first one

00:30:06.460 --> 00:30:07.759
 is from Jesus to the wife.

00:30:08.120 --> 00:30:08.960
 You have a quest

00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:10.039
 with three strands

00:30:10.039 --> 00:30:10.779
 woven together.

00:30:13.319 --> 00:30:14.759
 Woven together for strength

00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:15.960
 woven together for beauty.

00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:19.759
 Now as I talked about before

00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:21.420
 submit and respect

00:30:21.420 --> 00:30:23.680
 is it to be a type of posture.

00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:26.200
 It ultimately has to also

00:30:26.200 --> 00:30:27.539
 lead into behavior

00:30:27.539 --> 00:30:28.720
 but it's a type of posture.

00:30:30.600 --> 00:30:31.900
 I don't know why it is

00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:32.560
 that he says

00:30:32.560 --> 00:30:33.720
 respect for the husband

00:30:33.720 --> 00:30:35.360
 rather than some other word

00:30:35.360 --> 00:30:36.160
 but that's the word

00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:37.180
 that's given to us.

00:30:38.080 --> 00:30:39.320
 Submit and respect

00:30:39.320 --> 00:30:40.620
 are like dimmer switches

00:30:40.620 --> 00:30:42.060
 as I talked about last week

00:30:42.060 --> 00:30:43.259
 not on and off switches

00:30:43.259 --> 00:30:45.160
 and it's a relative word.

00:30:46.460 --> 00:30:47.900
 How a woman

00:30:47.900 --> 00:30:49.019
 is going to play that out

00:30:49.019 --> 00:30:50.299
 in the case of a husband

00:30:50.299 --> 00:30:51.799
 which is very boorish

00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:53.480
 very absent

00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:55.180
 very autocratic

00:30:55.180 --> 00:30:56.940
 uncaring and demanding

00:30:56.940 --> 00:30:57.500
 is going to look

00:30:57.500 --> 00:30:58.119
 very different

00:30:58.119 --> 00:30:59.180
 than a husband

00:30:59.180 --> 00:31:00.339
 who takes verse 7

00:31:00.339 --> 00:31:01.519
 very very seriously

00:31:01.519 --> 00:31:02.420
 or at least it should.

00:31:04.059 --> 00:31:05.079
 And as I talked about

00:31:05.079 --> 00:31:06.339
 last week with slaves

00:31:06.339 --> 00:31:07.839
 the Bible is designed

00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:08.599
 in such a way

00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:09.500
 that it assumes

00:31:09.500 --> 00:31:11.059
 that there's going to have

00:31:11.059 --> 00:31:12.900
 to be communal discernment

00:31:12.900 --> 00:31:13.420
 and prayer

00:31:13.420 --> 00:31:14.440
 in the reading of the Bible

00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:16.180
 as maybe all the moms

00:31:16.180 --> 00:31:16.840
 in a church

00:31:16.840 --> 00:31:18.440
 where they have groups

00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:19.259
 together of moms

00:31:19.259 --> 00:31:19.660
 or women

00:31:19.660 --> 00:31:20.380
 and they talk about

00:31:20.380 --> 00:31:20.900
 these things

00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:21.940
 and they struggle with them

00:31:21.940 --> 00:31:23.120
 and they pray with each other

00:31:23.120 --> 00:31:24.320
 and they weep with each other

00:31:24.320 --> 00:31:25.740
 at the hard things

00:31:25.740 --> 00:31:26.560
 that some wives

00:31:26.560 --> 00:31:27.380
 have to go through

00:31:27.380 --> 00:31:28.220
 or they rejoice

00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:29.279
 with other wives

00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:30.880
 with the wonderful things

00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.759
 that they're going through

00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:32.820
 and there's a rejoicing

00:31:32.820 --> 00:31:34.019
 and there's a commiserating

00:31:34.019 --> 00:31:35.080
 and there's a deep prayer

00:31:35.080 --> 00:31:35.680
 and there's a studying

00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:36.519
 of God's word

00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:37.680
 as these things

00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.759
 are figured out

00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:39.960
 in terms of what it means

00:31:39.960 --> 00:31:41.320
 but that's a fundamental

00:31:41.320 --> 00:31:42.279
 type of posture.

00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:44.180
 And then the second thing

00:31:44.180 --> 00:31:45.539
 that is to be in a sense

00:31:45.539 --> 00:31:46.340
 part of their quest

00:31:46.340 --> 00:31:47.900
 is to grow a deeply quiet

00:31:47.900 --> 00:31:48.940
 and gentle spirit.

00:31:49.100 --> 00:31:50.220
 Well that's a wonderful thing

00:31:50.220 --> 00:31:50.640
 to grow.

00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:56.420
 Why is it not the same

00:31:56.420 --> 00:31:57.360
 for the husband and the wife?

00:31:57.400 --> 00:31:57.920
 I don't know why

00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:58.799
 it's not the same.

00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:00.100
 You can't go behind the text

00:32:00.100 --> 00:32:00.799
 to figure that out

00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:01.799
 but that's the quest

00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:02.380
 which is given.

00:32:03.019 --> 00:32:04.080
 And then finally

00:32:04.080 --> 00:32:05.820
 to learn to live without fear.

00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:09.200
 Like why is that bad advice

00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:10.080
 those last two?

00:32:11.539 --> 00:32:12.779
 And if those last two

00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:13.519
 are part of the advice

00:32:13.519 --> 00:32:15.379
 then maybe that first piece

00:32:15.379 --> 00:32:16.779
 of advice is also something

00:32:16.779 --> 00:32:17.680
 which is needed.

00:32:20.660 --> 00:32:23.119
 And then look at the second one

00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:26.099
 from the Jesus to the husband.

00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:28.819
 Now here is where

00:32:28.819 --> 00:32:31.980
 Bible Christians nowadays

00:32:31.980 --> 00:32:33.639
 quickly lose their mind

00:32:33.639 --> 00:32:37.960
 because they try to jump in

00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:38.819
 and fill this text

00:32:38.819 --> 00:32:39.720
 with all sorts of things

00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:40.799
 that aren't there in the text.

00:32:41.259 --> 00:32:42.259
 So here's the thing

00:32:42.259 --> 00:32:43.379
 that you would expect.

00:32:43.819 --> 00:32:45.000
 Our culture would expect.

00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:45.859
 And here's the things

00:32:45.859 --> 00:32:49.680
 that we worry about

00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:50.359
 with this text

00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:50.980
 when it comes to

00:32:50.980 --> 00:32:51.920
 what the Bible is saying

00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:53.039
 to me, a husband.

00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:55.440
 At the earlier service

00:32:55.440 --> 00:32:56.119
 there's a fellow

00:32:56.119 --> 00:32:56.960
 who comes regularly.

00:32:57.079 --> 00:32:58.079
 He used to be a speechwriter.

00:32:58.759 --> 00:33:00.059
 He would write speeches

00:33:00.059 --> 00:33:01.000
 for the prime minister

00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:02.420
 and for cabinet ministers regularly.

00:33:02.519 --> 00:33:03.180
 He made his living

00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:03.980
 writing speeches.

00:33:04.740 --> 00:33:05.700
 So I said to him,

00:33:05.779 --> 00:33:06.700
 I said you must have had

00:33:06.700 --> 00:33:07.319
 lots of times.

00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:08.819
 He's just at 8 o'clock service

00:33:08.819 --> 00:33:09.440
 there's like there's

00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:10.440
 seven people and me.

00:33:10.600 --> 00:33:12.140
 So we have a bit of a conversation.

00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:12.920
 I said there must have been

00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:13.559
 lots of times

00:33:13.559 --> 00:33:15.080
 when you were writing speeches

00:33:15.080 --> 00:33:16.259
 where you'd sit down

00:33:16.259 --> 00:33:17.299
 with the cabinet minister

00:33:17.299 --> 00:33:18.140
 or the prime minister

00:33:18.140 --> 00:33:18.799
 as advisors

00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:19.320
 and they'd say

00:33:19.320 --> 00:33:20.500
 we'd like a speech on this.

00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:22.140
 And then you'd go back

00:33:22.140 --> 00:33:22.900
 and you'd say to your wife

00:33:22.900 --> 00:33:23.320
 at the end

00:33:23.320 --> 00:33:24.039
 I don't really know

00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:24.500
 if they know

00:33:24.500 --> 00:33:25.340
 what they want me to write.

00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:26.420
 I have no idea

00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:27.220
 what they just really

00:33:27.220 --> 00:33:28.039
 told me to do.

00:33:29.080 --> 00:33:30.559
 Like it wasn't very coherent

00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:31.820
 or straight.

00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:33.200
 And I said that to him.

00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:33.779
 He said that happened

00:33:33.779 --> 00:33:34.519
 about like almost

00:33:34.519 --> 00:33:35.580
 100% of the time.

00:33:36.279 --> 00:33:37.579
 They actually didn't really know

00:33:37.579 --> 00:33:38.839
 what they wanted me to say.

00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:39.659
 But they wanted me

00:33:39.659 --> 00:33:40.720
 to write something to say.

00:33:40.879 --> 00:33:42.379
 Anyway, so I said you know

00:33:42.379 --> 00:33:43.319
 so normally

00:33:43.319 --> 00:33:44.579
 if you hear this first bit

00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:45.579
 what you're going to expect

00:33:45.579 --> 00:33:46.679
 with the second bit

00:33:46.679 --> 00:33:47.879
 is the lesson to the husbands

00:33:47.879 --> 00:33:48.299
 is this.

00:33:48.699 --> 00:33:49.819
 George, you need to learn

00:33:49.819 --> 00:33:50.759
 how to speak clearly.

00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:52.519
 You need to learn

00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:53.759
 how to speak strategically.

00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:55.779
 You need to be clear

00:33:55.779 --> 00:33:57.619
 and give very, very clear

00:33:57.619 --> 00:33:58.859
 easy to follow commands

00:33:58.859 --> 00:33:59.599
 to your wife.

00:34:01.619 --> 00:34:03.319
 And that's what the Bible says, right?

00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:04.679
 No.

00:34:05.579 --> 00:34:09.119
 It's not there.

00:34:10.699 --> 00:34:11.579
 In fact, the husband

00:34:11.579 --> 00:34:12.519
 is given a completely

00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:13.460
 different quest.

00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:16.799
 You see, all of the advice

00:34:16.799 --> 00:34:18.000
 to leaders,

00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:19.059
 obviously if you read

00:34:19.059 --> 00:34:19.940
 Stephen Covey's

00:34:19.940 --> 00:34:21.659
 Seven Habits of Highly Effective Leaders

00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:23.400
 because ultimately

00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:24.199
 there's a lot of

00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:25.119
 just common wisdom,

00:34:25.900 --> 00:34:27.579
 one of the pieces of advice

00:34:27.579 --> 00:34:28.759
 for highly effective leaders

00:34:28.759 --> 00:34:30.299
 is seek first to understand.

00:34:30.460 --> 00:34:31.400
 But generally speaking

00:34:31.400 --> 00:34:33.119
 we don't like that bit very much

00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:34.119
 and what we work on

00:34:34.119 --> 00:34:36.739
 is how to explain ourselves

00:34:36.739 --> 00:34:37.480
 more clearly.

00:34:37.659 --> 00:34:39.159
 And often in marital conflict

00:34:39.159 --> 00:34:40.059
 what we think is

00:34:40.059 --> 00:34:40.900
 what we need

00:34:40.900 --> 00:34:42.659
 is for me to explain

00:34:42.659 --> 00:34:43.519
 more clearly.

00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:44.799
 And if I finally just

00:34:44.799 --> 00:34:46.000
 nail the right words

00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:47.199
 the problem is gone.

00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:50.079
 But the Bible here says,

00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:50.880
 George,

00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:52.219
 don't think of all the things

00:34:52.219 --> 00:34:53.199
 you should have said

00:34:53.199 --> 00:34:54.440
 or could have said better.

00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:56.619
 Work on understanding

00:34:56.619 --> 00:34:57.279
 your wife

00:34:57.279 --> 00:35:01.079
 with clear-eyed knowledge.

00:35:04.519 --> 00:35:05.639
 Clear-eyed,

00:35:05.799 --> 00:35:07.619
 lovingly understanding

00:35:08.219 --> 00:35:08.819
 your wife.

00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:09.679
 Work on that.

00:35:10.219 --> 00:35:11.019
 Clear-eyed means

00:35:11.019 --> 00:35:13.179
 she married a sinner,

00:35:13.299 --> 00:35:14.159
 I married a sinner.

00:35:15.319 --> 00:35:16.380
 It means there's strengths

00:35:16.380 --> 00:35:17.059
 and weaknesses,

00:35:17.339 --> 00:35:18.199
 there's glories,

00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:20.819
 there's wounds from the past,

00:35:21.019 --> 00:35:21.539
 you know, whatever.

00:35:22.460 --> 00:35:24.099
 There's dreams and desires

00:35:24.099 --> 00:35:25.139
 and try to understand

00:35:25.139 --> 00:35:25.739
 your wife.

00:35:27.420 --> 00:35:28.359
 And try to understand

00:35:28.359 --> 00:35:29.279
 your wife with love.

00:35:31.019 --> 00:35:32.359
 And the second thing is,

00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:34.319
 and this is similar

00:35:34.319 --> 00:35:35.039
 to the first one,

00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:35.480
 is George,

00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:36.199
 you need to figure out

00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:37.359
 ways to honor your wife.

00:35:38.799 --> 00:35:39.799
 That she's worthy

00:35:39.799 --> 00:35:40.619
 or she's precious.

00:35:40.759 --> 00:35:41.719
 You need to figure that out,

00:35:41.799 --> 00:35:41.980
 George.

00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:42.819
 That's your task.

00:35:42.940 --> 00:35:43.779
 That's your quest

00:35:43.779 --> 00:35:45.199
 in your marriage

00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:46.599
 to figure that out.

00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:47.739
 Now once again,

00:35:48.500 --> 00:35:49.279
 in this text

00:35:49.279 --> 00:35:50.359
 it's very, very interesting.

00:35:50.799 --> 00:35:51.879
 The Bible doesn't say,

00:35:52.179 --> 00:35:52.519
 wives,

00:35:52.619 --> 00:35:53.519
 you get to determine

00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:54.379
 when your husband

00:35:54.380 --> 00:35:55.400
 is honoring the way

00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:56.059
 he should.

00:35:57.079 --> 00:35:57.840
 And husbands,

00:35:58.039 --> 00:35:58.700
 the Bible text

00:35:58.700 --> 00:35:59.200
 doesn't say

00:35:59.200 --> 00:36:00.480
 that you get to control

00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:01.800
 when the wife

00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:02.340
 is submitting

00:36:02.340 --> 00:36:03.119
 as she should.

00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:05.140
 No power is given

00:36:05.140 --> 00:36:06.180
 to either of us.

00:36:09.160 --> 00:36:09.900
 If you say,

00:36:09.980 --> 00:36:10.380
 well that makes

00:36:10.380 --> 00:36:11.640
 absolutely no human sense,

00:36:11.720 --> 00:36:12.119
 then the Bible

00:36:12.119 --> 00:36:12.500
 would say,

00:36:12.820 --> 00:36:13.119
 right.

00:36:15.860 --> 00:36:16.300
 Yes,

00:36:16.619 --> 00:36:17.240
 we agree.

00:36:17.239 --> 00:36:21.000
 and then finally,

00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:22.159
 the third one is

00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:23.219
 that I'm to work on

00:36:23.219 --> 00:36:25.639
 remembering at all times

00:36:25.639 --> 00:36:27.079
 that she's my co-heir.

00:36:27.819 --> 00:36:29.139
 She will be in heaven

00:36:29.139 --> 00:36:29.699
 with me

00:36:29.699 --> 00:36:30.799
 and she has this dignity

00:36:30.799 --> 00:36:31.279
 and worth.

00:36:31.879 --> 00:36:32.479
 And then finally,

00:36:32.819 --> 00:36:34.019
 there's a warning to me

00:36:34.019 --> 00:36:36.339
 that if I refuse this quest,

00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:38.959
 my prayers will be hindered.

00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:44.360
 This works itself out.

00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:45.559
 I'm almost done.

00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:47.179
 Just two very brief things

00:36:47.179 --> 00:36:47.659
 in closing.

00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:49.019
 Another way to look

00:36:49.019 --> 00:36:50.059
 at these two quests

00:36:50.059 --> 00:36:51.179
 is in terms of

00:36:51.179 --> 00:36:52.199
 what a husband and wife

00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:52.599
 should do

00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:53.559
 when there is conflict

00:36:53.559 --> 00:36:54.420
 or unhappiness.

00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:57.679
 So let's say

00:36:57.679 --> 00:36:58.260
 there's conflict

00:36:58.260 --> 00:36:58.920
 and unhappiness

00:36:58.920 --> 00:36:59.740
 and maybe we decide

00:36:59.740 --> 00:37:01.260
 let's just give this 48 hours

00:37:01.260 --> 00:37:01.940
 because I don't know,

00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:03.300
 we're just not getting

00:37:03.300 --> 00:37:04.099
 anywhere with it.

00:37:05.099 --> 00:37:06.000
 And in general,

00:37:06.099 --> 00:37:06.799
 in our culture,

00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:07.239
 it would say,

00:37:07.339 --> 00:37:07.880
 okay, go work

00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:09.079
 on how you love each other more

00:37:09.079 --> 00:37:10.079
 or how to communicate better

00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:10.519
 or all that.

00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:11.039
 And you know,

00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:11.739
 I'm not saying

00:37:11.739 --> 00:37:12.940
 those are bad pieces of advice,

00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:13.500
 but the Bible

00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:14.559
 would actually give us

00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:15.460
 different advice.

00:37:17.299 --> 00:37:17.920
 It'd say,

00:37:18.219 --> 00:37:18.440
 you know,