Hi, my name is George Sinclair. I'm the lead pastor of Church of the Messiah. It is wonderful
that you would like to check out some of the sermons done by Church of the Messiah,
either by myself or some of the others. Listen, just a couple of things. First of all,
would you pray for us that we will open God's Word well to His glory and for the good of people
like yourself? The second thing is, if you aren't connected to a church and if you are a Christian,
I would really like to encourage you to find a good local church where they believe the Bible,
they preach the gospel, and if you have some trouble finding that, send us an email. We will
do what we can to help connect you with a good local church wherever you are. And if you're a
non-Christian checking us out, we're really, really, really glad you're doing that. Don't hesitate to
send us questions. It helps me actually to know, as I'm preaching, how to deal with the types of
things that you're really struggling with. So God bless.
Let's just bow our heads in prayer as we stand. Father, sometimes Your Word frightens us,
and even maybe Father embarrasses us if our friends who follow other ways were to hear this. We ask,
Father, that Your Holy Spirit would lead us and guide us into all truth,
that You would bring a deep remembrance to us, Father, of who Jesus is and what He's accomplished
for us on the cross, and to understand that the words You speak to us are words of love
and words of wisdom for our good. And we ask this in the name of Jesus, Your Son and our Savior. Amen.
Please be seated. And I set my timer.
So I've had the great privilege over the years to try to help different people learn how to do some,
you know, not just some public speaking in general, but also in particular how to open the Bible,
how to teach the Bible. And one of the things that we always say, it's just a very common thing in
rhetoric, is you want to have an opening that grabs people, that makes either create some tension that
has to be resolved or create some curiosity, which people are curious about what's going to happen next.
And you cannot beat, in terms of creating tension, saying in Canada in 2024,
likewise wives be subject to your own husbands,
which is immediately tension-inducing for many people and curiosity-inducing forever, for others.
The first time I preached on this text was, I don't know, 10 or 12 years ago. At that time,
there was a coffee place down on Rideau Street that I'd go to between the services, and I was
coming back, cutting behind the Ottawa Little Theatre to come into this store, and an older saint from
the congregation looked at me, and I was wearing my Birkenstocks, and he said to me,
no, you don't have your dancing shoes on. And I said, dancing shoes? He said, well, I always look forward to
ministers speaking on texts like this, to see how they dance around the text and never deal with it.
And so, once again, I don't have any dancing shoes on, I have sandals, but I don't want to make light of a text
which is so hard and threatening for many Canadians. So first, what we're going to do is, I'm going to read through the text,
and then I'm going to, well, make a lot of different comments about it, and at the end of the day, I'm going to commend the text to you.
So if you have your Bibles, it's 1 Peter 3, verses 1 to 7. If you don't have your Bibles, those blue books over there are Bibles.
You can get up of your seat and go and grab your own, or if you have a YouVersion, you can look at it on your phone.
So here's how the text goes. Likewise, so it's, he's earlier given some advice to slaves, and it's connecting
what he's about to say to women who are married, Christian women who are married, and Christian men who are married.
He's connecting it to the whole general moral teaching that he'd given before in the first two chapters.
So likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.
Now just pause here for two short little things.
I spend time in academic commentaries as part of my preparation for a sermon like this,
and one of the things I, in particular, am looking for is to see whether there's some translation issues
from the original language into the modern language.
And sometimes, of course, there's multiple meanings or a range of meaning or something like that,
and I could say a couple of things about the word be in submission or subject to,
but at the end of the day, the word's actually, it's, all of this text is actually quite well translated into English.
It's not, I'm not going to be able, in a sense, to rescue some of the problems that we might have with the text
by saying, well, in the original language, it's, no, that's not an option to us.
There is a language thing which isn't quite caught later on, which I'll mention,
but this is fairly well translated.
Verse 2, oh, sorry, we'll just go back a bit.
So even if some do not, oh, by saying if some do not,
it's implying that not all Christian women are married to Christian men.
So this is a word to Christian wives, regardless as to whether or not your husband is a Christian,
and actually the same idea is there later on with husbands,
but that's where I'm actually going to show the original language brings out a nuance that you can't get in English.
But the husbands, it's, once again, it's recognizing that not all Christian husbands will have Christian wives.
So regardless as to whether your wife is a Christian or outside of the Christian faith,
the command to the husband is still the same.
So verse 2, when they, that's referring to the wife's husband,
when they see your respectful and pure conduct,
do not let your adorning be external,
the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold, jewelry, or the clothing you wear,
but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart
with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which in God's sight is very precious.
And just before we go any farther,
the text isn't saying that a woman shouldn't wear makeup or really beautiful dresses
or anything like that.
It's just really saying put first things first.
And the first thing is, in a sense, you work on you.
And the second thing is you work on your clothing.
I don't know how many of you, if you go into the self-help sections of libraries
and you read books on how to have a good attitude or something like that,
one of the things you'll see in those often is,
they'll use the example of how much time a person might spend in the morning to look good,
and then ask yourself how much time you spend to get yourself with having a good attitude for the day.
And a lot of people spend their time in the bathroom looking at the mirror,
being grumpy about their day,
and all their time to look good.
And they'll say, you know, what attracts you to people is actually working on your inner self.
That's what attracts you.
That's often what gets, you know, the promotions or etc.
is that inner aspect of your life in terms of your attitudes and your thoughts and your habits.
So it's actually, in some ways, this is no different than the self-help literature
is just, in a sense, playing a riff on this old Christian teaching.
So it's not saying to women, don't put on makeup or anything like that.
It's saying, make sure this is the first thing that you're working on.
Verse 5,
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way or with knowledge.
It could either be translated as understanding or with knowledge.
Showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.
Yikes.
We're going to talk about that in a bit.
Since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,
so that your prayers may not be hindered.
And in the original language, that word, heirs with you,
there's a bit of a double meaning in the original language.
And it's saying, so that someday they might be heirs or that they already are heirs with you.
So it's once again acknowledging that the Christian husband might not have a Christian wife.
And as you'll notice, there's six verses spoken to the wife
and only one verse that's spoken to the husband.
And so some of you might say, whoa, that's way worse than I remembered
when Emma read the text just a few minutes ago.
And it just seems very, very sort of wrong to us.
Referring to a woman, the wife, as a weaker vessel.
Every single one of us, like I could get up here and I could effortlessly go on a rant about this text.
And I could well imagine that if I was to read something like this at the University of Ottawa,
if I was to, not only to, if I read this at the,
if I read this amongst the conservative MPs or the liberal MPs or the NDP MPs,
there'd probably be no difference in their reaction to it.
And people would tell me that I have blood on my hands if I don't repent of this text
and tell people to disregard it.
That telling wives to be submitting to their husbands will lead to the violence against women
and literally death of women, that I actually literally would have blood on my hands.
But I'm not going to go, we all know, we all can easily fill in the blanks
about how people would talk about this text.
And I'm going to walk towards that.
But what I'm going to do is I'm going to give two points.
I'm going to give a big picture explanation of the seven verses.
And then I'm going to talk about some of the objections to it.
And then I'll come back and help us to understand these particular big lessons.
And so if you could put up the first one, that would be very helpful.
And the first one is from Jesus to the wife.
Remember, if those of you heard my sermon last week on slavery,
one of the things which is unique about this biblical text,
which isn't obvious in the English, is that Peter talks directly to slaves.
He talks to them as if they have integrity, autonomy.
I mean, they don't have full autonomy because they're slaves, obviously.
In a very fundamental way, they don't.
But internally, they have integrity.
They have dignity.
They can do something even in their context.
So he's talking directly to them.
And in the same way here, we have a similar type of thing.
For those of us who are husbands, we listen in while the text speaks directly to wives.
And then for those who are wives, we listen in directly as God speaks directly to the husbands.
And for those who are not married, we all get to listen in to what the word of God says directly to each group.
So from Jesus to the wife, you have a quest.
And I'm using the word quest because one of the standard ways of understanding a quest is it's a long endeavor that changes you.
It's a long endeavor towards a goal, towards an end that changes you in the process.
Classic example would be in The Lord of the Rings and Frodo's quest to destroy the ring.
And it takes a lot of pages.
It goes through lots of hardship.
And it changes him in the whole process as he's on this long quest.
And so how we should hear these texts is that in both cases, it's going to be a quest.
So from Jesus to the wife, you have a quest with three strands woven together to learn to submit to and respect your husband,
to grow a deeply quiet and gentle spirit, to learn to live without fear.
And three strands that are complementary, three strands woven together will make it far stronger.
And of course, if it's mixed with different colors, it will also be more beautiful.
And so I've used that analogy on purpose, that there are these three complementary strands, but they're different.
And they're to be woven together, to learn to submit to and respect your husband,
and to grow a deeply quiet and gentle spirit, and to learn to live without fear.
And now there's a direct word to the husbands.
From Jesus to the husband, you have a quest.
If you could put up the second point, that would be great.
You have a quest with three strands and a solemn warning woven together.
The wife doesn't have a solemn warning.
The husband has a solemn warning.
What are the three strands?
To lovingly know or understand your wife, to honour her as precious or worthy,
to remember that she's your co-heir in glory,
and to refuse this quest will mean that your prayers are hindered.
So once again, there's three strands.
Complimentary, that have to be woven together.
And it's still a quest.
The quest is, for me as a husband, is to lovingly know and understand my wife,
to honour her as precious or worthy,
to remember at all times, or in a deep way, that she's my co-heir in glory,
and for me to refuse to do these things,
means that my prayers will be hindered.
Now, some of you might say,
okay, George, that's a little bit different than what I thought you were going to say and summarize,
but, you know, frankly, it still sucks.
Like, it's terrible advice, George.
Like, how, this is 2024.
Like, you're in downtown Ottawa.
You're minutes from the Parliament building.
You're minutes from CBC.
Your embassies all surround you.
There's University of Ottawa's right there.
How on earth can you still stand up here and say that's the summary of the text?
Like, first of all, why is it so terrible to women,
and why are they having something which is so completely and utterly different?
Like, why aren't they, like, maybe, you know, maybe I could accept it if it said,
okay, husband, submit to your wife, wife, submit to your husband.
Like, I still think that's terrible, George,
because, you know, surely you'd think that it's not a matter of submission.
It's a matter of finding your power, learning how to roar,
grabbing a hold of your own destiny,
and expecting, honoring each other's quest to be more powerful,
to be stronger, to roar, to be themselves.
Like, there's all sorts of, but, you know, it's terrible advice,
and it's different advice, and George, like,
frankly, George, I don't even know what to say to you.
Well, there's a little bit of a pushback
before we lose too much sleep over this.
And, by the way, if you're here outside the Christian faith,
and you don't know much about Christians,
texts like this terrify Christians.
Like, if you watch this thinking that this is something
that we beat our chest on all the time,
and talk about all the time,
I can guarantee you that if you go to most conservative churches in the city,
they're terrified of texts like this,
and they rarely talk about it.
I can guarantee you that that's the case.
And if they do talk about it,
they undermine the text.
They say, well, well, well, you know,
there's other places in the Bible
that says that we should all be quiet, have quiet minds.
And there's other places in the Bible
where it says we should all submit.
And they all give you all these different Bible verses,
and the end of the way is that they've erased the text.
So if you're outside the Christian faith,
you should understand that's a problem.
I would say it's a problem for Canadian Christians right now.
But how do we respond to this
and to the voices we hear in our head from our culture?
Here's the first thing.
For 55 years,
there has been a consistent message in Canada,
fairly consistent types of messaging in Canada
about how to have successful marriages for 55 years.
And the marriage has all been not about submission,
about autonomy,
about a whole range of things like that.
We could all effortlessly list,
probably if we just sat down,
what's the five pieces of marriage advice
or seven pieces of marriage advice that our culture gives us?
And we'd probably put it all down.
And at the end of the day,
we'd probably come up with a list of 10 or 11 things
that say we'd all agree that this is what Canadians would say.
And here's the question we have to ask Canadians.
How is it working?
After 55 years of advice,
are marriages way up?
Are there no divorces?
Is there no abuse in marriage?
Are all children wanted?
Are people open to even having children?
Are people marrying early
because it's such a good thing they want to get in on it?
No.
Marriages are down.
Abortions are up.
Unhappiness is way up.
Insecurities are way up.
We've had 55 years of consistent advice,
and it is not making men and women in Canada happier.
And it is not making us have better marriages.
Einstein famously said that one definition of insanity
is to do the same thing over and over,
hoping for different results.
And that's our Canadian culture.
So, you know, if in fact they could say,
listen, you know,
there used to be this old way of talking about things,
and for the last 55 years,
you know, we've taught a new and better way
to talk about marriage.
And just look at how spectacular everything in Canada is.
And then we might have to say,
well, I don't know,
maybe this text doesn't have anything to teach us.
But that's not the case.
In fact, I can tell you absolutely right now,
if your marriage advice is to learn how to roar
and be your authentic self,
that is a recipe to ruin a marriage.
It's a recipe to make it hard for you to marry.
And here's another thing about this.
Okay, well,
okay, well,
maybe you have something there.
Maybe we should listen.
And now that I look at your points,
there's a couple of good things in there.
Like you said to the women,
the wives,
that they're to learn to live without fear.
Okay, that's actually a really good point.
I'm a little bit surprised
that I actually have to say
that that's actually pretty smart advice.
I'm a bit surprised it's in the Bible.
I don't know,
it's still making women a bit passive.
I still understand why the men and women are different,
and I think that's just completely wrong.
And then to that,
we have another time out.
You see,
our culture is incoherent about women.
Why are we incoherent about women?
Well,
here's four different messages
we hear about women in our culture.
Message number one,
women are very,
very specific and unique
and different types of people.
And their voice absolutely has to be heard.
And that's why
whenever Pierre Polyev,
if he wins the next election
or if Trudeau wins a re-election,
he should really make sure
that there's at least 50% men
and 50% women
because you need to hear
the very distinct and unique voice of women
in cabinet.
And you need the same thing
in university faculties,
you need the same thing
in boardrooms.
Women have this very unique voice
which needs to be heard.
Our culture also says,
might even be by the same blogger,
a week later,
men and women are basically the same.
The only thing that's different about them
is their plumbing
and they should be treated completely
and utterly equally in all things.
And then a week later,
there'll be another blog.
We all know that gender differences
are a social construct.
They're just invented by our culture
and generally they're oppressive.
Okay,
well,
one moment,
if that's the case,
then why is it
that you need the same 50%
on the boardrooms?
And our culture never asks that question.
And really,
you think men and women
are so clear and distinct
that you can be very clear
and that's why you need 50% men
and 50% women.
If men and women
are so completely distinct,
then why is it
that I could declare
that I'm a woman
and you need to accept it?
How on earth
is that showing
that there's actually
something powerful
and unique about a woman?
And once again,
in our culture,
you could have the same blogger
writing each one of those points
four consecutive weeks
and never thinking
that they've said anything
inconsistent or incoherent.
In some ways,
our culture has to
pick a lane
before you criticize this text.
Pick a lane.
But George,
what about women being weaker?
Didn't it say that in the text?
Like, George,
George,
that's just
so wrong
to say,
well, actually,
I think the Bible's
actually pretty wise on this.
And in fact,
actually,
I think the Bible here
is giving
what we deeply want
in our culture.
It's subverting
our culture,
but at the same time,
if you listen to the Bible,
it's giving us
what we actually really want
and long for
beneath our incoherence.
Why do I say that?
Okay,
women aren't the weaker vessel.
I think
Mike Tyson
should be able
to fight
mixed martial arts
with women.
I think whoever
is the heavyweight champion
of mixed martial arts
man should be able
to fight women equally.
If you believe that,
you will literally
have blood on your hands.
Literally,
you will have blood
on your hands.
The man would kill
the woman,
not on purpose,
but he would.
What about Leah Thomas?
What's the 146th
ranked college swimmer?
And he declares
that he's a woman
and he wins
the woman's races?
But here's the thing
about this text.
On one hand,
this is just saying
anything,
I mean,
who knows,
maybe we'll get cancelled
because I just said this
and it's on YouTube
and somebody will find out.
But we all know
that's true
and people just don't
want to say it out loud.
Very few people
want to say it out loud.
But at the same time,
this is not saying
anything derogatory
about women
because of that text
about developing
a quiet spirit.
Who's stronger?
A person with a chaotic spirit
or a quiet spirit?
Who's stronger?
The person who cannot
control their impulses,
cannot control their greed,
cannot control their lust,
cannot control their anger,
cannot control
their power hungriness,
cannot just,
whatever whim strikes them,
they want to get
what they want
and they have,
in fact,
a chaotic spirit.
Who is stronger?
A person like that
or a person
who's quiet and calm?
We all know
that the person
who's quiet and calm
is the stronger person.
Constant movies,
constant novels,
the person always flying,
the boss,
the husband,
the wife,
always flying off
in rages
and often the underlings
are the ones
that actually have
the quiet spirit,
can put up with the things
and just quietly
get things done.
We all know
that in the event
of some terrible tragedy
happening
and some of us
completely and utterly
come unglued
and can't think straight
and maybe we're crying
and we're raging
and we're worrying
and then we're completely frozen
and we feel afterwards
that it's such a blessing
that somebody who loves us
and cares for us
comes alongside
and they're calm
and they can make the decisions.
The calm person
is the strong person
and it even goes further
because when it talks
about a quiet
and gentle spirit,
the quiet spirit
is not a passive spirit.
The quiet spirit
is the strong spirit.
Simple example.
Daniel Avitan,
there's me,
Daniel Avitan.
There's me,
there's Daniel Avitan.
Okay?
Look at our arms,
there's me,
there's Daniel Avitan,
right?
How easy would it be
for me to push
Daniel Avitan over?
Well,
I mean,
maybe,
you know,
just because I'm his boss,
he'd let me push him
a little bit,
but the fact is
if he just wanted
to stand his ground,
you know,
or me and Andrew,
or me and Patrick,
how easy do you think
it's going to be
to push Andrew over?
He's going to just be
quiet and calm.
Same with Patrick.
Wouldn't even be
working up a sweat
as I try to push them over.
This is passive.
Throw it away.
The chaotic spirit
is the passive spirit,
overwhelmed by passions,
idols, fears, whims,
insecurities,
insanities.
The quiet spirit
is the strong spirit,
able to maintain a course,
able to see clearly,
able to choose,
able to love,
able to serve.
This Bible text
is actually warning
is actually calling
the woman
to develop
the strongest
possible strength.
And even the language
of co-heirs,
if you look at verse 7
where it says,
you know,
one of the things
for a husband
is to remember
that his wife
is an heir with him.
Ours just says,
are heirs with you
or it could be co-heirs.
should I add a couple
of other politically
incorrect things
to say in my particular
sermon this morning?
But here's the thing.
Increasingly in Canada,
rights and the protection
that come along with them
are merely that
which the courts
and the parliament
or the house of,
the parliament decides.
But when the Bible here
says that I'm to remember
that Louise is a co-heir
with me,
this is saying
something very profound.
You see,
because it's picking up
on an idea
that when Adam and Eve,
you know,
whether or not you believe
in them literally,
that's a whole other talk.
You can ask me about that
at coffee.
But that Adam and Eve,
in a sense,
they're created
so that human beings
would be the heir
of all things.
And that's squandered
when human beings fall
and they become proud
and they try to become
their own gods.
And so the whole message
of the gospel
is that God sees
our profound and deep need
and out of love for us
and knowing that we cannot
leave ourselves
to fix ourselves,
that he sends his son
to come and be amongst us
and to live the life
that we can live,
to die the death
that we deserve,
but that would unmake us,
to face the judgment
that we deserve,
to bear the shame
that we deserve,
all which would
completely and utterly
unmake us.
And he does all of that
for us completely
and utterly out of love.
And the purpose is
to restore us
to a relationship with him.
And so when the Bible text
is saying that
Louise and I are co-heirs,
it's saying that
there's something
about Louise and me
and our dignity
and our integrity
and what it means
to be human
that is something
that God created
the entire universe
with having human beings
with this type
of proper dignity
and proper worth
and proper integrity.
And so it's saying
that there's something
about human beings
and their integrity
that goes all the way
into the very,
very depths of time
and ancient time
and it's woven
into our very,
very nature.
And by the time
the same language
errs,
it's saying that
no matter how high
a mystic goes,
it goes right
into the future,
it goes into the new heaven
and the new earth,
that there's something
equal that has integrity
and dignity
and a proper place
that's given by God,
not by the state.
The state will be judged
by God
in whether or not
it recognizes
the integrity
and dignity
of human beings
because the state
does not get
to decide that
and there's something
that is of dignity
and worth
that goes right back
to creation
and goes into
the new creation
and that's what
the Bible is telling us,
that there is such
a profound equality
between men and women
that goes right back
to creation
and into the new creation
and at the same time
the difference
between a man and woman
is mysterious
and obviously
it's going to work
itself out in a different case
in every particular person
it's going to be
culturally different
but there's something
there which is different.
There's something there
which is different.
Let's look at our two points
and just try to listen to them.
If you could put them up again
that would be very helpful.
So the first one
is from Jesus to the wife.
You have a quest
with three strands
woven together.
Woven together for strength
woven together for beauty.
Now as I talked about before
submit and respect
is it to be a type of posture.
It ultimately has to also
lead into behavior
but it's a type of posture.
I don't know why it is
that he says
respect for the husband
rather than some other word
but that's the word
that's given to us.
Submit and respect
are like dimmer switches
as I talked about last week
not on and off switches
and it's a relative word.
How a woman
is going to play that out
in the case of a husband
which is very boorish
very absent
very autocratic
uncaring and demanding
is going to look
very different
than a husband
who takes verse 7
very very seriously
or at least it should.
And as I talked about
last week with slaves
the Bible is designed
in such a way
that it assumes
that there's going to have
to be communal discernment
and prayer
in the reading of the Bible
as maybe all the moms
in a church
where they have groups
together of moms
or women
and they talk about
these things
and they struggle with them
and they pray with each other
and they weep with each other
at the hard things
that some wives
have to go through
or they rejoice
with other wives
with the wonderful things
that they're going through
and there's a rejoicing
and there's a commiserating
and there's a deep prayer
and there's a studying
of God's word
as these things
are figured out
in terms of what it means
but that's a fundamental
type of posture.
And then the second thing
that is to be in a sense
part of their quest
is to grow a deeply quiet
and gentle spirit.
Well that's a wonderful thing
to grow.
Why is it not the same
for the husband and the wife?
I don't know why
it's not the same.
You can't go behind the text
to figure that out
but that's the quest
which is given.
And then finally
to learn to live without fear.
Like why is that bad advice
those last two?
And if those last two
are part of the advice
then maybe that first piece
of advice is also something
which is needed.
And then look at the second one
from the Jesus to the husband.
Now here is where
Bible Christians nowadays
quickly lose their mind
because they try to jump in
and fill this text
with all sorts of things
that aren't there in the text.
So here's the thing
that you would expect.
Our culture would expect.
And here's the things
that we worry about
with this text
when it comes to
what the Bible is saying
to me, a husband.
At the earlier service
there's a fellow
who comes regularly.
He used to be a speechwriter.
He would write speeches
for the prime minister
and for cabinet ministers regularly.
He made his living
writing speeches.
So I said to him,
I said you must have had
lots of times.
He's just at 8 o'clock service
there's like there's
seven people and me.
So we have a bit of a conversation.
I said there must have been
lots of times
when you were writing speeches
where you'd sit down
with the cabinet minister
or the prime minister
as advisors
and they'd say
we'd like a speech on this.
And then you'd go back
and you'd say to your wife
at the end
I don't really know
if they know
what they want me to write.
I have no idea
what they just really
told me to do.
Like it wasn't very coherent
or straight.
And I said that to him.
He said that happened
about like almost
100% of the time.
They actually didn't really know
what they wanted me to say.
But they wanted me
to write something to say.
Anyway, so I said you know
so normally
if you hear this first bit
what you're going to expect
with the second bit
is the lesson to the husbands
is this.
George, you need to learn
how to speak clearly.
You need to learn
how to speak strategically.
You need to be clear
and give very, very clear
easy to follow commands
to your wife.
And that's what the Bible says, right?
No.
It's not there.
In fact, the husband
is given a completely
different quest.
You see, all of the advice
to leaders,
obviously if you read
Stephen Covey's
Seven Habits of Highly Effective Leaders
because ultimately
there's a lot of
just common wisdom,
one of the pieces of advice
for highly effective leaders
is seek first to understand.
But generally speaking
we don't like that bit very much
and what we work on
is how to explain ourselves
more clearly.
And often in marital conflict
what we think is
what we need
is for me to explain
more clearly.
And if I finally just
nail the right words
the problem is gone.
But the Bible here says,
George,
don't think of all the things
you should have said
or could have said better.
Work on understanding
your wife
with clear-eyed knowledge.
Clear-eyed,
lovingly understanding
your wife.
Work on that.
Clear-eyed means
she married a sinner,
I married a sinner.
It means there's strengths
and weaknesses,
there's glories,
there's wounds from the past,
you know, whatever.
There's dreams and desires
and try to understand
your wife.
And try to understand
your wife with love.
And the second thing is,
and this is similar
to the first one,
is George,
you need to figure out
ways to honor your wife.
That she's worthy
or she's precious.
You need to figure that out,
George.
That's your task.
That's your quest
in your marriage
to figure that out.
Now once again,
in this text
it's very, very interesting.
The Bible doesn't say,
wives,
you get to determine
when your husband
is honoring the way
he should.
And husbands,
the Bible text
doesn't say
that you get to control
when the wife
is submitting
as she should.
No power is given
to either of us.
If you say,
well that makes
absolutely no human sense,
then the Bible
would say,
right.
Yes,
we agree.
and then finally,
the third one is
that I'm to work on
remembering at all times
that she's my co-heir.
She will be in heaven
with me
and she has this dignity
and worth.
And then finally,
there's a warning to me
that if I refuse this quest,
my prayers will be hindered.
This works itself out.
I'm almost done.
Just two very brief things
in closing.
Another way to look
at these two quests
is in terms of
what a husband and wife
should do
when there is conflict
or unhappiness.
So let's say
there's conflict
and unhappiness
and maybe we decide
let's just give this 48 hours
because I don't know,
we're just not getting
anywhere with it.
And in general,
in our culture,
it would say,
okay, go work
on how you love each other more
or how to communicate better
or all that.
And you know,
I'm not saying
those are bad pieces of advice,
but the Bible
would actually give us
different advice.
It'd say,
you know,