helps you. We're going to read Genesis chapter 2 verses 18 through to 25.
The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky.
He brought them to the man to see what he would name them. And whatever the man called each living
creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky, and all
the wild animals. But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall
into a deep sleep. And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs, then closed up the place
with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought
her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called
woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united
to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
So let's pray. Father, thank you that we are not left to figure out your design and your plan for life.
And so we pray that as we read your word, these foundations, these beginnings of what it is to be a
man, what it is to be a woman, that you would instruct us and help us to see our purpose as a man and as a woman
today in this world, in our home, in our workplace. Teach us and instruct us. And we pray, Father,
that what we learn today would enable us to live for your glory, so that your glory is spread,
not just through Karagoline, but throughout this earth. Teach us, Father, we pray. Amen.
Well, it's a wonderful picture, isn't it, Genesis chapter 2. God and man dwelling together in the garden,
enjoying the beauty of God's creation and delighting in their fellowship with one another. But there's no
lounging by the pool here, because there's great work to be done. The borders are to be expanded,
because it's God's desire that the whole earth be his dwelling place. Look back with me to chapter 2,
verse 15. We saw this last week. The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden in Eden to work it
and to take care of it. We saw there that the garden was like a temple, a dwelling place for God,
a dwelling place that was to grow as man worked and cared for it. It was to expand from the garden
out into Eden and from Eden to the ends of the earth, because the whole earth is to be a dwelling
place for God. A place where God's place where God's place where God extends his rule and where man enjoys
his relationship with God. There's work to be done in this garden to expand the borders.
And our question this morning is, how will this work get done? How is it going to expand beyond the
borders of the garden to Eden to the ends of the earth? Well, three things we're going to look at
from this text. A suitable helper, a covenant marriage, and a greater relationship.
So first, a suitable helper. Up to this point in the creation account, everything has been good.
All the way through Genesis chapter 1, God declares, and it was good. But there's something that is not good.
Verse 18, the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone.
Now when you read that, I wonder what your thought is. Our immediate thoughts are perhaps, poor Adam.
He's all on his own, isn't he? In this great big garden. He's got no friends. Maybe he would have
been better called Norman. Norman no mates, nobody to talk to. He's lonely. Well, I don't think that's
Adam's main concern. After all, the creator God of the universe is present with him.
Let's look again at verse 18. The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him. God doesn't provide a friend, first and foremost.
God provides a helper. Adam isn't bored. He's working and caring for the garden. And he needs help in expanding
the garden. If the whole earth is to be a dwelling place for God, he's never going to do it on his own.
He needs help. And he needs a special kind of help. Look at verse 19.
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky.
Is he going to find help from the animals? Well, look at the end of verse 20.
But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. Adam needs someone and something different to the animals,
but like himself. There's work to be done. The borders need expanding. So God in his goodness provides a suitable helper.
So what does this helper look like? What kind of help? Well, let's read verse 21 to 22.
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep.
And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib that he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man.
There's four things I want us to notice about this man-woman relationship.
The worker and the helper.
First, woman was made for man.
Did you notice in verse 21 and 22, the woman is formed from the man out of his rib?
And she is given to the man.
We say, Johnny, come on. This is 2021.
You can't say things like that.
Woman made for man?
I mean, woman is independent from man.
Woman has been liberated from man.
You get yourself into trouble saying things like that.
Well, let me be clear.
Let's see what the text is saying.
Woman is given to man not for his own wants and wishes,
but to serve God's purposes.
Woman is to be a helper.
Not a servant or a mistress or a slave.
In fact, woman and man are equal in value.
Being a helper doesn't diminish worth or value or dignity.
Look back at chapter 1, verse 27.
Where God created mankind in his own image.
In the image of God he created them.
Male and female he created them.
You see, man and woman are both image bearers.
Man can't reflect God's image on his own,
and woman can't reflect God's image on her own.
Together they reflect the image of God.
That's what gives us value and worth.
Women don't need to prove their value in physical beauty,
or men don't have to prove their worth by having a successful career.
Men and women are valued because we are image bearers.
This is what gives us value and worth.
So, made for man, equal in value.
But third, we are different in our roles.
Woman isn't the same as man.
We're different.
We're different in lots of different ways.
Different physically.
So, in case you didn't know,
men produce 5,000 to 6,500 units of testosterone.
While women produce 300 to 400 units of testosterone.
That's why, typically speaking,
men are stronger, bigger, and faster.
We're different biologically.
So, women and men have different sexual organs.
One made to give, the other to receive.
Our hormones, well, they affect us differently.
And we're different socially as well, aren't we?
Men love to talk about things and are competitive.
Talk about sport, talk about machines, talk about work.
They're competitive.
Whereas women, well, they have the ability, don't they,
to talk to each other.
And they're more agreeable rather than competitive.
We're not the same.
This is already being reflected in creation.
Think back through to Genesis 1 and 2.
God has created things already in opposite pairs.
Light and darkness.
Land and sea.
Heavens and earth.
So it is with the creation of man and woman.
We're different.
Therefore, we have different roles.
This theme is picked up for us in Corinthians.
You can just have a jump forward to there.
1 Corinthians chapter 11.
1 Corinthians 11 verses 8 and 9.
For man did not come from woman, but woman from man.
Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
Verse 11.
Nevertheless, in the Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.
For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.
But everything comes from God.
Let's go back to Genesis.
You see, there is a difference.
But with that difference comes an interdependence.
We have different roles and responsibilities.
That doesn't mean to say that women can only cook and men can only work in the office.
The point is, we are different.
And we're to celebrate our difference.
We do things in a different way.
Which brings us to the fourth idea.
That men and women are complementary by design.
God has made us to complement each other.
One thinker and theologian, Andrew Wilson, explains it very simply like this.
He says it's a relationship in which two people improve or emphasize each other's qualities.
Very simple, but very helpful.
A relationship in which two people improve or emphasize each other's qualities.
Now that doesn't just apply to a marriage relationship.
This applies to all men and women in all of their relationships.
Whether that's at work or in their social environment.
It's not competition, but cooperation.
It's not independence, but interdependence.
Men need women and women need men in every area of life.
Now we know this is a red hot issue today in our society.
Look at social media.
Whether it's the gender balance in work or equal pay for sports players.
Whatever the topic, whatever the issue.
There ought to be no fight or battle between the sexes.
No one is superior and no one is inferior.
And as Christians we have an awful lot to say about this.
God's design for us is different.
And that difference is good.
It's a difference that actually makes us a suitable fit.
Together as men and women, whatever our marital status,
we are workers and we are helpers.
Complimenting one another to serve God's greater and grander purposes.
That together we would expand the borders.
We would live life as God intends.
So that the whole earth becomes a dwelling place for him.
Where his glory is declared.
Where his reign is expanded.
And we can enjoy a relationship with him.
So, the work, how is it going to be done?
Well, God's provided a suitable helper.
Second, a covenant marriage.
Just a sec while I get a drink.
So, a covenant marriage.
God's design for men and women is to complement each other.
And for most of us, that's going to lead into a marriage relationship.
What develops in the garden is a covenant marriage.
Look at verse 23.
This is man at his best when it comes to poetry.
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
And she shall be called woman.
For she was taken out of man.
This isn't boring.
This is a declaration of delight and wonder.
Maybe if you're a woman sitting there, you're thinking,
well, that's not how I'd like to be described.
But this was the best Adam could do.
A declaration of delight and wonder.
Yes, God has provided a suitable helper.
But God has provided an intimate helper.
Christopher Ash, who's written a great book on marriage,
captures it well with this.
For this is delight with a shared purpose.
Intimacy with a common goal.
Companionship in a task that stretches beyond the boundaries of the couple themselves.
As we rejoice with the lovers in the garden,
we must not forget that there is work to be done.
The borders need expanding.
If the world is to be God's dwelling,
where his rule extends and where people live for his glory,
then there needs to be a companionship of working together.
You see, the primary purpose of marriage is not to meet my sexual or social needs.
The primary purpose of marriage is to serve the grand purpose of God.
Look back at 1, verse 28.
1, verse 28.
Here's God's purpose for marriage.
God blessed them, that's the man and the woman,
and said to them,
Be fruitful and increase in number.
Make babies.
Grow the family.
You see, the job is so great
that it's going to take more than just one man and one woman.
It's going to need a whole family.
That's the purpose of marriage.
Mum and dad raising children in the ways of God
so that their children will in turn grow up
to serve the purposes of God.
Families, all families who are gathered here today,
that's your purpose.
You are a team of workers and helpers
serving God so that others will come to serve God.
and enjoy a relationship with him.
Contrary to what many people say,
children are not a burden or an inconvenience.
They are not a mistake that ruins your lovely figure
or interferes with your career move.
Children are,
verse 28, chapter 1, verse 28,
a blessing.
God blessed them.
They are vital members of the husband and wife team.
The teaching of scripture is this,
don't delay in having children,
but make children, if you're married,
your priority.
Now, as we talked recently,
some will not be able to have children
and that's always sad and painful.
It's very hard.
But that doesn't mean to say you've lost your purpose.
No, a husband and wife will go on serving God's purposes
in a very fulfilling way,
but in a different way.
Now, if God's plan and design for marriage
is to meet God's purpose,
we need to follow his design.
Look at verse 24 and 25.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother
and is united to his wife
and they become one flesh.
Adam and his wife were both naked
and they felt no shame.
Three things just to look at from this
to understand the design of marriage.
First, it's to be an exclusive union.
Marriage is between one man
and one woman.
That's what it says there in verse 24.
Therefore, the man leaves his father,
who is a male,
and mother, who is a female,
and unites to his wife.
There's a leaving
and there's a cleaving.
Now, this is really important for us to grasp.
It's about leaving home
and setting up your own home.
Husbands and wives
are to begin to make their own decisions
and to make their own way in life.
Running back to mummy and daddy
all the time
is only going to hinder
and break the marriage.
And husbands,
you have a particular role
in guarding and protecting the marriage.
Just as Adam,
as we'll see next week in chapter 3,
was held responsible,
so husbands,
you're responsible
for your marriage,
for your family.
That's what God has given you
that role to do.
You're responsible for it.
Wives,
you have a particular role
in supporting
and helping your husband
in that role.
To help him
and enable him
to take responsibility.
That's God's design.
And if you are parents here today
of married children,
you also have a very important role
to your married children.
don't interfere.
Don't interfere.
Don't smother them.
But support them
to live out
their roles
that God has given them.
So marriage
is to be an exclusive union.
And it's to be
a lifelong covenant.
You may remember
in Matthew chapter 19
and I think it's Mark 10,
when Jesus was asked
about divorce.
If it was permitted,
could a man
leave his wife?
That's the question
the Pharisees
are asking Jesus.
And Jesus answered
that question
by quoting
chapter 2,
verse 24 of Genesis.
He says,
that is why
a man leaves
his father and mother
and is united
to his wife
and they become
one flesh.
And then Jesus
added these words.
What God has joined together,
let no one separate.
In other words,
marriage
is intended
to be a permanent,
lifelong commitment.
It's a covenant relationship.
A relationship
in which people
are committed
to fulfill the promises
as long as you shall live.
Of course,
marriage is hard.
You'll know that
if you're married.
It's not easy.
It does take work
and effort.
That's why we need
to support
and encourage
those who are married.
If you're here
and you're thinking,
well, I'm not married,
this doesn't apply to me.
It does.
You are to support
and encourage
those who are married.
And it's not wrong
if we're married
to need help
or receive help.
Sometimes marriages
need outside intervention
and counsel.
There's many times
Kirsty and I,
individually and together,
have spoken to friends
and say,
you know what?
I'm finding it
really difficult.
It's okay
to ask for help
and to need help.
We need to nurture
and grow our marriages.
We need to invest
in our marriage
for the very purpose
so that we can serve
the purposes of God well.
If I can use Kirsty and I
again as an example,
when we're at loggerheads
with each other,
if we're not getting on well,
we don't serve
the purposes of God well.
It doesn't function.
It doesn't work.
So if you're here today
and you're struggling
in your marriage,
it's okay.
People are there to help.
Come and speak.
Come and talk to me.
We'll find you the support
and the help
that you need.
Don't wait.
Do it today.
So marriage is to be lifelong.
But what about this issue
of if my spouse
is unfaithful?
What if I find myself
in an abusive relationship?
Am I meant to just
shut up and put up?
I mean,
that's what they did
in the old days,
isn't it?
Just shut up and put up?
Absolutely not.
Scripture is not silent
on these matters.
Scriptures have things
to teach us.
Let me say three things
in relation to that.
First,
if ever you find yourself
in such a situation
where there's unfaithfulness
or abusiveness,
reach out
and ask for help.
Don't wait.
Go talk to someone.
No one in any marriage
should have to live
with that.
Yes,
we have social services,
but I think the church
has a particular role
in supporting people,
caring for them
and providing for them.
And I want to say
that as a church,
that is what we will do
for you.
We will provide
the care and support
that is necessary
in such a situation.
The second thing,
that if the marriage
is in difficulty,
the aim is always,
this is where Scripture
points to,
it is always
transformation
and restoration.
With God's grace
and with the right
pastoral support,
people can change.
That's what God does.
He transforms us.
Even Christians
who do awful
and terrible things,
people can change
and people can forgive.
The aim is always
to reconcile
what is broken.
Always.
That's always
the first aim.
Third,
if reconciliation
can't be achieved,
if someone walks
out in the marriage
and doesn't want
to come back,
if someone doesn't
want to own up
or be repentant
for their sin,
well then maybe
divorce is necessary.
But only in
certain situations.
You can talk to me
a bit more about this.
We don't have time
to go into all
the exegesis of it
just to say that
Matthew 19,
verse 9,
1 Corinthians 7,
verse 15,
I think give us
the foundation
and the principles
for decisions
that we make
around this.
Let me give four
where it may be
necessary.
Unfaithfulness,
Jesus spoke about
that in Matthew 19.
ongoing affairs,
sexual immorality.
That could be a reason.
Desertion
or abandonment
which comes up
in 1 Corinthians,
whether that's
physical
or economical,
leaving the home
or not providing
in the way
that should be done.
and I think
from this
comes principles
for areas
of abuse,
whether that's
sexual,
emotional
or physical.
Perhaps there's
threat within the home.
Maybe children
are in danger.
in all of these
situations,
it may be
necessary,
certainly
separation,
but it may be
divorce is required.
Of course,
it's not always
right to divorce
and there may be
decisions that we
need to make
about that
and again,
I would encourage
that that should be
done with the
counsel
of the right
of the elders
and the pastors
to help work
through those issues.
But we must
take Jesus'
word seriously.
What God
has joined together,
let no one
separate.
So marriage
is to be
a lifelong
commitment.
So it's
an exclusive
union.
It's to be
a lifelong
covenant
and within
marriage,
sexual
intimacy.
Look at
verse 24.
We're told
they became
one flesh.
Again,
contrary to
what many
people say,
sex is a
good gift
from God
and it is
good.
It is to
be nurtured
and enjoyed.
Sex isn't
just about
having children.
Within the
marriage context,
it deepens
trust and
strengthens
the bonds.
It's the
mutual
considerate
act of
giving
and
receiving.
Verse 25,
Adam and
his wife
were both
naked and
they felt
no shame.
As one
writer put it,
this doesn't
mean to say
that Adam
had a great
six-pack
and Eve
was a
wonderful
supermodel.
No,
there was
just
openness.
There was
purity
in their
giving and
receiving.
Mutual
consideration.
You see,
marriage is
good and
for those
who marry,
it serves
God's
grand
purposes.
Of course,
not everybody
is going to
marry.
Some will
remain single.
And for
those who
are married,
well,
the day may
come where
you may find
yourself single
again,
as our spouse
dies.
But being
unmarried
is not
inferior.
It doesn't
mean second
best.
In fact,
scripture tells
us that we
can see it
as a gift.
It means
greater service,
more freedom
to serve
the purposes
of God.
So,
how will the
work get
done?
God provides
a suitable
helper.
He has
designed
covenant
marriage.
And then
third,
a greater
relationship.
You see,
God's design
for man and
woman to be
worker and
helper is
good.
They complement
each other.
They're a
suitable fit
serving the
purposes of
God.
And marriage
is the same.
It is God's
good design.
A covenant
relationship
between one
man and
one woman
bound
together
through the
sexual union.
Husband and
wife expanding
the family
to serve the
purposes of
God.
By living
out our
God-given
shape and
pattern,
so the
earth becomes
a dwelling
place for
God.
His rule
is extended
and we
enjoy a
relationship
with him.
In fact,
what we see
here in
Genesis 2
is the
greater
relationship
that God
intends for
all people.
that worker-helper
husband-wife
relationship
is a sign
of what God
intends for
all people
with himself.
You see,
when Paul
wanted to
explain what
our relationship
to God was
like,
he went all
the way back
to Genesis
chapter 2,
didn't he?
Have a look
with me at
Ephesians
chapter 5.
Ephesians
chapter 5
verses 31
to 32.
Ephesians
5 verses
31 to
32.
So,
to describe
and to
help us
understand
what a
relationship
with God
looks like,
as we say,
he goes
right back
to creation
and he
picks up
those very
words in
Genesis 2
verse 24.
Look at
verse 31.
For this
reason,
a man
will leave
his father
and mother
and be
united to
his wife
and the
two will
become one
flesh.
This is a
profound
mystery.
What are we
talking about
here?
He says,
I am
talking about
Christ
and the
church.
You know
that account
in Genesis,
man and
woman in
the garden,
the worker
and the
helper?
You know
that account
of Adam
and Eve,
husband and
wife,
marriage?
It's
actually all
about Christ
and his
church.
It's all
about people
and their
relationship
with him.
It's all
about a
covenant
relationship
we can
have with
God.
Just think
about that
with me
for a second.
Just think
about what
Christ has
done for
us.
Think about
his
submission.
Christ came,
didn't he,
in humble
submission to
his father.
There's no
battle going
on.
My food,
says Jesus,
is to do
the will of
him who sent
me and to
finish his
work.
The work
that Christ
had been
given was
to be
finished with
his work
on the
cross.
And so
even when
he was
faced with
his impending
death,
what did
he pray in
the garden?
Your will
be done,
not my
will.
Christ
lived his
life in
perfect
submission,
doing the
father's
work,
serving the
father's
purposes.
others.
No fight
for
independence,
cooperation
through his
submission.
But also
think about
his
sacrifice.
Because
Christ's
submission
would lead
to the
ultimate
sacrifice,
him giving
his life
for us.
He submitted
himself to
death on
the cross,
to take
the blame
for all of
our sin,
for all
the wrong
ways you
and I
have treated
women and
the way we
have treated
men,
not according
to God's
design.
We've all
failed,
whether we're
single or
whether we're
married,
we haven't
treated our
wives as we
should,
and wives
we haven't
treated our
husbands as
we should.
And yet
Christ sacrifices
his life for
us,
so that we
could be
forgiven for
all our
mess and
all our
brokenness,
so that we
could have a
right relationship
with him and
restore our
relationships with
each other.
Now the
story of
Christ,
his submission
and his
sacrifice is
displayed through
the marriage of
man and
woman.
Just as we
reflect man
and woman,
just as we
reflect the
image of
God,
so marriage
is to
reflect the
work of
Christ.
You want to
know what the
gospel looks
like?
Look at
marriage.
Look how
Paul connects
our different
roles in
marriage with
the work of
Christ.
Verse 24,
Ephesians 5,
verse 24.
Now as the
church submits
to Christ,
and I think
there's a
pattern here,
the church
submits to
Christ just
as Christ
submitted
himself to
the Father.
As the
church submits
to Christ,
so also wives
should submit to
their husbands
in everything.
Husbands,
love your
wives just
as Christ
loved the
church and
gave himself
up for
her.
Do you
see how
beautiful that
design is?
It's the
same design
and pattern
that we see
in Christ
and his
relationship,
in his
submission,
and his
sacrifice.
Our
complementary
roles are
a suitable
fit, not
to serve our
own wants
and wishes,
but to serve
the purposes
of God,
to display the
greatness and
glory of
Christ.
Marriage is
not competition,
but cooperation.
It's not a
fight for
independence,
but faithful
interdependence.
As we all,
each of us,
submit to
God's shape
and pattern
for marriage,
so the
purposes of
God are
fulfilled.
His rule
is extended
and his
relationship
is enjoyed.
When it
comes to
man and
woman,
when it
comes to
husband and
wife,
God is
the creator
and designer.
He knows
what he's
talking about
and we
will do
best when
we follow
his design.
Let's
pray.
Amen.
Father, we
can only
stand back
in awe
and amazement
at something
that is
taken for
granted
so often
every single
day,
to look at
a man,
to look at
a woman,
to see
their unique
differences,
equally
image-bearers,
but all
part of
your beautiful
and good
design.
We confess,
Father,
that we
have not
treated
woman and
man as
we should
and we
have not
lived in
marriage as
we should.
Amen.
Father,
would you
forgive us
for the things we have done wrong, said wrong, thought wrong.
And not only that,
but would you give us the guts and the courage
to change what needs to be changed,
to transform us,
to be a woman of God, to be a man of God,
to be the husband and wife that you've called us to be.
We ask this because we know that in it all it displays your glory.
It's a picture of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
So Father, would you fill us by your Spirit
to do that and to do it well.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
We're going to sing.
This song really picks up on the theme of the submission
and the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus
who came as a servant to serve each one of us.
Amen.
So let's say you'll keep in mind.
That's for him.
That's for you.
This song really picks up on the theme of the Mistress di leads,
to be balanced as a servant as a servant with the Lord Jesus Christ,
the listener to you who comes in,
and to beTimgie and that he is by next.