WEBVTT

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 Well, good morning everyone.

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 I've not met you before, my name's Steve.

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! Lee passed here at St. Paul's and we're starting a series, as we've said, on marriage.

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! Marriage is finding that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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 That's one definition of marriage.

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 Love is blind, but marriage is the great eye-opener.

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 Love is one long, sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

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 My husband and I have agreed to never go to bed angry with each other,

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 and so far we've been awake for the last three days.

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 If you're married, you'll resonate with some of those sort of short quips, if you like.

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 The interesting thing is, though, you don't need to be married for that,

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 to see some of it from that perspective, because we all see marriage through a distorted lens.

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 And that distorted lens is our own experience of it.

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 If your experience is parents who had a fantastic marriage,

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 that may cause you to see marriage as something that is relatively easy.

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 And you may get a profound shock when yourself are married

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 and discover how hard it is to forge a great marriage.

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 If you have experienced a troubled marriage or a divorce,

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 either as a child or now as an adult,

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 your view of marriage may be wary, pessimistic even.

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 You may be entering marriage, particularly if you grew up in a bad marriage,

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 you may be entering marriage expecting of relationship problems,

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 or when they appear, you're very quickly to go,

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 ah, here we go, this is exactly what I anticipated.

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 You see, any experience of marriage we've had would cause us,

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 in one way or another, to be unprepared for it.

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 Marriage, as we see there in verse 32 of Ephesians 5,

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 is a profound mystery.

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 It's unlike any other relationship in the world.

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 And so we're going to spend this term trying to unravel,

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 if you like, this profound mystery.

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 The plan is to give both the married and the unmarried people amongst us here

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 a biblical vision of marriage according to the Bible,

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 according to Christianity.

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 And so this series is for the approximately 59% of us who are married

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 in our church family.

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 And the hope will be it will correct mistaken views

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 and mistaken views that may be right now harming your marriage

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 and hopefully bring you to a perspective of grace.

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 When Nat and I got married 9,962 days ago today,

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 not that anyone's counting,

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 we were like most young modern couples.

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 We found marriage to be much harder than we expected it to be.

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 Marriage is, in reality, the union of two people

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 who come together with life's baggage.

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 And so marriage is glorious, but it's also profoundly hard.

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 It is a burning joy and strength,

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 and yet it is also blood, sweat, and tears.

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 There are multitudes of humbling defeats and exhausting victories at the same time.

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 No marriage, I know, that is more than a few weeks old

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 could be described as a fairy trail come true.

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 Often, however, in the church, we don't talk like that.

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 We project an unhelpful view of marriage.

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 The thing is, I don't recall anyone saying to Nat and I

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 how hard it will be until one young couple said to us about,

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 asked us about 12 months into marriage,

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 how's your first 12 months been?

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 Because for us, it was a nightmare.

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 And you've been now married 20-odd years,

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 and it's like no one had ever said that to us.

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 Everyone talked about the honeymoon period.

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 That's all they talked about.

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 So it's for the marriage amongst us.

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 Secondly, we're doing this series for the 41% approximately

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 of unmarried people in our church family,

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 and hoping it will deal with any unhelpful over-desiring of marriage

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 or deal with any unhelpful, pessimistic dismissing of marriage.

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 Hopefully going to do that as well.

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 You see, single people need to...

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 They need a brutally realistic and yet glorious vision

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 of what marriage actually is and also what it can be.

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 And thirdly, we're doing this series,

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 and I must say primarily because of what we discovered

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 in Ephesians' last term.

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 We're actually doing this series because Ash said we should,

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 told me we should.

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 And he was right in that we got to the series in Ephesians

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 and we skipped over this one in one sermon,

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 and there's so much to unpack here

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 because the book of Ephesians reveals the position

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 and job description of the church

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 in affecting God's grand plan for all time and eternity.

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 And all of God's plans for eternity,

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 to make a people for himself,

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 to enjoy forever in his presence,

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 in unity through the Lord Jesus Christ,

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 is worked out in time and space through the church,

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 which the Bible describes as the bride of Christ.

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 I mentioned it many times last term.

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 The American pastor and theologian Jonathan Edwards said

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 that God created the entire universe

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 that the eternal Son of God might attain a spouse.

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 And so therefore, marriage, as we see it in the Bible,

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 is deeply connected to God's purposes for all things

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 and all time.

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 It's not a side point here.

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 It's not just a change of subject in Ephesians.

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 In Ephesians 5, we have the longest, most famous,

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 and, dare I say, controversial passage in the Bible on marriage.

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 And it's one that we can't just skip over.

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 And so I'm thankful to Ash for pushing me on this one.

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 And so the primary purpose, as we unpack this series,

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 is not tips on marriage.

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 It's not 10 takeaways to make your marriage a little bit healthier.

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 This is primarily theological.

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 It's primarily theological in understanding who God is

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 because that is what marriage does.

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 It helps us understand who God is.

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 And in understanding God, it helps us understand marriage.

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 That's where we're headed in the next number of weeks.

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 And you're probably going to have a bunch of questions,

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 and I may not answer any of them as we go through.

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 It's not marriage counselling, even though I dare say it should be helpful,

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 as even in my own preparation has been helpful for me.

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 So here's the three points for today.

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 We're going to look at, you know, it's really introductory, this sermon,

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 looking at marriage, broadly speaking, as it's shifted over time,

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 looking at the Bible's perspective,

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 and then finally we'll land on the mystery,

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 the profound mystery of marriage.

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 Okay, so first of all, marriage made over time.

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 In Western civilisations, there's been several competing views

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 as to what marriage is, what it should be.

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 Traditionally, over the centuries,

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 there's been the Catholic and the Protestant perspectives.

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 They're similar but different.

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 Similar in the sense that both taught that the purpose of marriage

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 was, or the institution of marriage,

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 was a lifelong devotion and love between a husband and a wife.

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 It was a solemn bond,

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 designed to help each other,

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 to subordinate individual impulses and interests

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 in favour of the union.

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 The Catholic Church, the Roman Catholic Church,

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 emphasised marriage as a sacrament of God's love.

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 Protestants understood marriage to be given by God,

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 not merely for Christians,

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 but in fact for the benefit of the entire of humanity.

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 Marriage was designed to build character

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 by bringing a male and a female together

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 into a binding partnership.

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 Now, these older traditional culture views,

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 and generally not just the Western civilisation,

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 but more traditional cultures have a similar view on this,

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 they taught that their members

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 to find meaning in duty

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 by embracing their assigned social roles

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 and carrying them out faithfully.

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 So personal meaning

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 was found through self-denial,

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 giving up one's freedoms,

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 and binding oneself to the duties

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 of marriage and family and society.

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 That's the traditional view.

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 That started to shift

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 in the 18th and 19th century,

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 particularly in Western civilisation,

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 which is now permeating most of the world

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 because we've got Hollywood and things like that.

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 It started to shift,

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 particularly being triggered

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 during the time of the Enlightenment.

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 The meaning of marriage in that season

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 came to be the freedom of the individual

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 to choose the life that most fulfils them personally.

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 That's the view that started to shift

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 in the 18th, 19th century.

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 And so marriage, with that view,

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 was being redefined

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 as finding emotional and sexual fulfilment

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 and self-actualisation.

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 That became the purpose of marriage.

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 And this new approach to marriage

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 saw marriage as a contract

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 between two parties

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 for mutual individual growth and satisfaction.

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 That is,

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 you married for yourself,

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 not for God,

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 not for society,

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 not for the other.

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 And spouses should, therefore,

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 this is the view,

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 be allowed to conduct their marriage

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 in any way they consider beneficial

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 for them personally.

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 And so broadly speaking,

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 what happened in the time of the Enlightenment

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 is this new perspective of marriage

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 privatised marriage.

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 It took it from the public sphere

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 to privatising it.

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 And it redefined its purpose

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 as individual gratification.

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 I can't tell you the number of couples

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 that are prepared for marriage

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 and you ask the question

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 about expectations

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 from broader families and so on,

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 and the vast majority say,

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 what does it matter?

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 We're the ones getting married.

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 It's our marriage after all.

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 It privatised marriage.

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 And so slowly but surely,

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 this newer understanding

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 of the meaning of marriage

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 became the dominant view in society,

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 which is what it is now.

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 It used to be a public institution

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 for the common good

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 and now it's a private arrangement

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 for the satisfaction of the individual.

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 Marriage used to be about us,

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 now it's about me.

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 And ironically,

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 one of the reasons for this shift

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 is the proponents of the new version of marriage,

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 the new view of marriage,

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 saw the old view of marriage

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 as being oppressive.

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 It's an oppressive view of marriage

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 and of life.

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 And the irony is

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 that this new view of marriage

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 actually puts a crushing burden

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 of expectations on marriage

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 and on spouses

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 in a way that more traditional understanding

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 of marriage never did.

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 And the particular burden

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 that is there nowadays

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 in the modern view of marriage

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 is this new idea

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 which arose out of the enlightenment,

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 the new idea of the compatible soulmate

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 that out there in the world

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 is the one.

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 The one.

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 And that concept is a,

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 the concept of compatibility

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 and the concept of a soulmate

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 is a very, very new development

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 in the institution of marriage.

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 And it creates an extreme idealism

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 that in turn leads to a deep pessimism.

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 You see, the new view of marriage

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 as self-realisation

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 has caused people

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 to first of all

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 want too much out of marriage

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 and yet also at the same time

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 not nearly enough out of marriage.

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 Men and women today

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 want a marriage

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 in which they can receive

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 emotional

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 and sexual satisfaction

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 from someone

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 who will simply

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 let them be

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 themselves.

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 They want a spouse

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 who is

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 fun,

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 intellectually stimulating,

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 sexually attractive,

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 where you've got

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 many common interests

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 and who on top of all of that

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 is entirely supportive

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 of your personal goals

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 and of the way

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 you are currently living

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 right now.

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 And that search,

00:16:05.900 --> 00:16:07.700
 looking for that person,

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 goes on and on

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 and on and on

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 trying to find them.

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 It takes

00:16:19.660 --> 00:16:22.100
 years.

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 Or in Nat's case,

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 it was pretty quick.

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 It does lead to a deep pessimism

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 in life

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 and for this concept

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 of marriage.

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 You see,

00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:47.060
 if your desire

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 is for a spouse

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 who will not demand

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 a lot of change

00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:52.980
 from you,

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 then you are looking

00:16:55.860 --> 00:16:56.980
 for a spouse

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 who is almost

00:16:58.680 --> 00:17:00.440
 completely together,

00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:03.440
 very low maintenance

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 and with virtually

00:17:05.240 --> 00:17:06.620
 no personal problems

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 at all,

00:17:07.860 --> 00:17:09.220
 you're looking for someone

00:17:09.220 --> 00:17:10.700
 who will not require

00:17:10.700 --> 00:17:12.279
 change

00:17:12.279 --> 00:17:14.120
 or demand

00:17:14.120 --> 00:17:15.480
 change.

00:17:15.480 --> 00:17:17.220
 not only

00:17:17.220 --> 00:17:18.279
 someone

00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:18.960
 who is

00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:19.799
 completely together

00:17:19.799 --> 00:17:20.299
 themselves,

00:17:20.440 --> 00:17:20.960
 but you're looking

00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:21.759
 for someone

00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:22.799
 who's prepared

00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:23.279
 to put up

00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:23.700
 with you

00:17:23.700 --> 00:17:24.259
 being not

00:17:24.259 --> 00:17:25.120
 completely together

00:17:25.120 --> 00:17:25.559
 yourself.

00:17:26.180 --> 00:17:27.000
 You are searching

00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:27.440
 therefore

00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:29.039
 for the ideal person,

00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:29.779
 happy,

00:17:30.860 --> 00:17:31.299
 healthy,

00:17:31.980 --> 00:17:32.559
 interesting,

00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:33.319
 stable,

00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:33.799
 wise,

00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:34.480
 content,

00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.599
 attractive,

00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:41.360
 together in life,

00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:42.380
 fully together

00:17:42.380 --> 00:17:43.039
 in life

00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:44.680
 and under 30.

00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:48.480
 Good luck

00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:48.920
 with that.

00:17:54.200 --> 00:17:54.899
 You see,

00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:55.659
 the assumption

00:17:55.659 --> 00:17:56.440
 that there is

00:17:56.440 --> 00:17:57.539
 someone out there

00:17:57.539 --> 00:17:58.519
 who is just

00:17:58.519 --> 00:17:59.639
 right for me

00:17:59.639 --> 00:18:00.339
 to marry

00:18:00.339 --> 00:18:02.680
 fails to

00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:05.399
 appreciate

00:18:05.399 --> 00:18:06.599
 the fact

00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:09.019
 that everyone

00:18:09.019 --> 00:18:09.920
 who gets

00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:10.539
 married

00:18:10.539 --> 00:18:11.700
 always,

00:18:12.119 --> 00:18:12.759
 everyone,

00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:13.779
 always

00:18:13.779 --> 00:18:14.319
 marries

00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:14.859
 the wrong

00:18:14.859 --> 00:18:15.460
 person.

00:18:19.019 --> 00:18:19.440
 They're going to be

00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:19.759
 doing it.

00:18:20.819 --> 00:18:21.700
 Did I just say that?

00:18:21.819 --> 00:18:22.159
 Yes,

00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:23.159
 I did just say that.

00:18:23.740 --> 00:18:25.000
 Every single

00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:25.559
 person

00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:26.500
 who marries

00:18:26.500 --> 00:18:27.619
 everyone,

00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:29.000
 they always

00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:29.539
 marry

00:18:29.539 --> 00:18:30.059
 the wrong

00:18:30.059 --> 00:18:30.599
 person.

00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:34.559
 And that's

00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:35.200
 because

00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:38.399
 we think

00:18:38.399 --> 00:18:38.920
 we know

00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:39.579
 the person

00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:40.180
 that we are

00:18:40.180 --> 00:18:40.579
 marrying

00:18:40.579 --> 00:18:41.519
 on that wedding

00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:42.019
 day,

00:18:42.339 --> 00:18:43.059
 but we

00:18:43.059 --> 00:18:43.720
 actually

00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:44.420
 don't.

00:18:47.500 --> 00:18:48.059
 Marriage

00:18:48.059 --> 00:18:48.500
 is a

00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:48.859
 journey

00:18:48.859 --> 00:18:49.180
 of

00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:49.960
 discovering

00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:50.339
 who

00:18:50.339 --> 00:18:50.579
 that

00:18:50.579 --> 00:18:50.960
 person

00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:51.500
 is.

00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:52.660
 What you

00:18:52.660 --> 00:18:53.400
 do when

00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:53.940
 you say

00:18:53.940 --> 00:18:54.759
 I do

00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:55.420
 is you

00:18:55.420 --> 00:18:56.059
 are marrying

00:18:56.059 --> 00:18:57.139
 a stranger.

00:19:00.740 --> 00:19:01.519
 Because even

00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:01.980
 when you

00:19:01.980 --> 00:19:02.779
 think you've

00:19:02.779 --> 00:19:03.240
 married the

00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:04.079
 right person,

00:19:04.299 --> 00:19:05.259
 it is just

00:19:05.259 --> 00:19:05.660
 a matter

00:19:05.660 --> 00:19:06.500
 of months

00:19:06.500 --> 00:19:07.700
 and they

00:19:07.700 --> 00:19:07.920
 will

00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:08.599
 change.

00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:12.839
 Because

00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:13.359
 marriage

00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:14.099
 brings you

00:19:14.099 --> 00:19:14.680
 into a

00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:15.000
 more

00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:15.599
 intense

00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:16.279
 proximity

00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:17.180
 to another

00:19:17.180 --> 00:19:17.920
 human being

00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:18.619
 than any

00:19:18.619 --> 00:19:18.960
 other

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.720
 relationship.

00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:20.660
 And the

00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:21.279
 moment you

00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:21.640
 marry

00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:22.359
 someone

00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:22.819
 who

00:19:22.819 --> 00:19:27.140
 you think

00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:27.799
 you know,

00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:33.000
 by its

00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:33.480
 actual

00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:34.299
 definition,

00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:36.119
 marriage

00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:37.019
 begins to

00:19:37.019 --> 00:19:38.099
 change who

00:19:38.099 --> 00:19:38.879
 they are

00:19:38.879 --> 00:19:39.599
 in profound

00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:40.339
 ways.

00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:42.099
 There's not

00:19:42.099 --> 00:19:42.539
 a single

00:19:42.539 --> 00:19:44.240
 person who

00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:44.619
 can predict

00:19:44.619 --> 00:19:45.180
 the future.

00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:45.960
 There's not

00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:46.399
 a single

00:19:46.399 --> 00:19:47.480
 person who

00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:47.859
 on their

00:19:47.859 --> 00:19:48.559
 wedding day

00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:49.859
 knows how

00:19:49.859 --> 00:19:51.139
 their spouse

00:19:51.139 --> 00:19:51.960
 will change.

00:19:53.639 --> 00:19:53.899
 And so

00:19:53.899 --> 00:19:54.440
 the quest

00:19:54.440 --> 00:19:54.740
 for a

00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:55.159
 compatible

00:19:55.159 --> 00:19:56.059
 soulmate,

00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:57.279
 sorry,

00:19:57.279 --> 00:19:57.899
 compatible,

00:19:58.379 --> 00:19:58.619
 not

00:19:58.619 --> 00:19:59.220
 compatible,

00:20:00.980 --> 00:20:01.639
 you get

00:20:01.639 --> 00:20:02.160
 that anyway,

00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:03.879
 so compatible

00:20:03.879 --> 00:20:05.460
 soulmate is

00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:06.960
 an impossibility.

00:20:08.819 --> 00:20:09.559
 It's an

00:20:09.559 --> 00:20:10.279
 impossibility.

00:20:13.399 --> 00:20:13.740
 And so

00:20:13.740 --> 00:20:14.180
 we're faced

00:20:14.180 --> 00:20:14.480
 with a

00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:15.420
 problem with

00:20:15.420 --> 00:20:15.759
 the modern

00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:16.079
 view of

00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:16.559
 marriage.

00:20:17.220 --> 00:20:17.440
 Our

00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:18.160
 culture makes

00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:18.660
 individual

00:20:18.660 --> 00:20:19.279
 freedom,

00:20:19.460 --> 00:20:19.819
 personal

00:20:19.819 --> 00:20:20.379
 autonomy,

00:20:20.539 --> 00:20:20.960
 fulfillment,

00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:22.240
 the very

00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:22.799
 highest

00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:23.420
 values.

00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:24.599
 And the

00:20:24.599 --> 00:20:25.559
 reality is

00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:26.819
 every single

00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:27.079
 love

00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:27.759
 relationship.

00:20:29.619 --> 00:20:30.500
 But very

00:20:30.500 --> 00:20:31.079
 specifically

00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:31.639
 married

00:20:31.639 --> 00:20:32.339
 relationship

00:20:32.339 --> 00:20:33.720
 means the

00:20:33.720 --> 00:20:34.159
 loss of

00:20:34.159 --> 00:20:34.980
 those things.

00:20:36.339 --> 00:20:37.179
 And yet

00:20:37.179 --> 00:20:38.899
 choosing

00:20:38.899 --> 00:20:40.019
 to not

00:20:40.019 --> 00:20:40.819
 lose those

00:20:40.819 --> 00:20:41.339
 things and

00:20:41.339 --> 00:20:41.980
 therefore not

00:20:41.980 --> 00:20:42.619
 to commit

00:20:42.619 --> 00:20:43.699
 yourself to

00:20:43.699 --> 00:20:44.759
 another person

00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:45.699
 means you

00:20:45.699 --> 00:20:46.720
 lose yourself.

00:20:48.939 --> 00:20:49.419
 I think

00:20:49.419 --> 00:20:50.639
 no one put it

00:20:50.639 --> 00:20:51.240
 any clearer

00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:51.859
 than C.S.

00:20:51.919 --> 00:20:52.500
 Lewis in his

00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:52.740
 book,

00:20:52.859 --> 00:20:53.159
 The Four

00:20:53.159 --> 00:20:53.659
 Loves.

00:20:53.660 --> 00:20:55.660
 Love

00:20:55.660 --> 00:20:57.040
 anything and

00:20:57.040 --> 00:20:57.620
 your heart

00:20:57.620 --> 00:20:58.279
 will certainly

00:20:58.279 --> 00:20:58.880
 be wrung

00:20:58.880 --> 00:20:59.440
 and possibly

00:20:59.440 --> 00:20:59.960
 broken.

00:21:00.700 --> 00:21:01.240
 If you want

00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:02.240
 to make sure

00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:03.080
 of keeping

00:21:03.080 --> 00:21:03.700
 it intact,

00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:04.519
 you must give

00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:05.019
 your heart

00:21:05.019 --> 00:21:05.740
 to no one,

00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:06.840
 not even to

00:21:06.840 --> 00:21:07.240
 an animal.

00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:08.720
 Wrap it up

00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:09.240
 carefully,

00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:09.900
 round with

00:21:09.900 --> 00:21:10.680
 hobbies and

00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:11.560
 little luxuries.

00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:12.600
 Avoid all

00:21:12.600 --> 00:21:13.420
 entanglements.

00:21:13.800 --> 00:21:14.259
 Lock it up

00:21:14.259 --> 00:21:15.060
 safe in the

00:21:15.060 --> 00:21:15.900
 casket or the

00:21:15.900 --> 00:21:16.580
 coffin of your

00:21:16.580 --> 00:21:17.279
 selfishness.

00:21:17.700 --> 00:21:18.600
 But in that

00:21:18.600 --> 00:21:19.120
 casket,

00:21:19.300 --> 00:21:19.700
 safe,

00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:20.600
 dark,

00:21:20.599 --> 00:21:22.259
 motionless,

00:21:22.459 --> 00:21:22.899
 airless,

00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:24.139
 it will

00:21:24.139 --> 00:21:24.980
 change.

00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:26.219
 It will

00:21:26.219 --> 00:21:26.619
 not be

00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:27.000
 broken,

00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:27.719
 it will

00:21:27.719 --> 00:21:28.219
 become

00:21:28.219 --> 00:21:29.099
 unbreakable,

00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:31.000
 impenetrable,

00:21:31.919 --> 00:21:32.539
 irredeemable.

00:21:33.419 --> 00:21:34.219
 The alternative

00:21:34.219 --> 00:21:35.500
 is tragedy

00:21:35.500 --> 00:21:36.939
 or at least

00:21:36.939 --> 00:21:37.619
 to the risk

00:21:37.619 --> 00:21:38.259
 of tragedy

00:21:38.259 --> 00:21:40.240
 is damnation.

00:21:42.619 --> 00:21:43.579
 So which

00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:44.119
 do we

00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:44.480
 choose?

00:21:47.339 --> 00:21:48.159
 This brings

00:21:48.159 --> 00:21:48.699
 me to the

00:21:48.699 --> 00:21:49.480
 biblical view,

00:21:49.639 --> 00:21:49.879
 what the

00:21:49.879 --> 00:21:50.480
 Bible says

00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:50.799
 of our

00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:51.220
 marriage.

00:21:53.400 --> 00:21:53.480
 The

00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:55.259
 Bible begins

00:21:55.259 --> 00:21:55.700
 with the

00:21:55.700 --> 00:21:56.360
 wedding of

00:21:56.360 --> 00:21:56.920
 Adam and

00:21:56.920 --> 00:21:57.240
 Eve.

00:21:57.360 --> 00:21:57.980
 It ends

00:21:57.980 --> 00:21:59.240
 in the

00:21:59.240 --> 00:21:59.460
 book of

00:21:59.460 --> 00:21:59.960
 Revelation

00:21:59.960 --> 00:22:01.279
 with the

00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:01.740
 wedding of

00:22:01.740 --> 00:22:02.500
 Christ and

00:22:02.500 --> 00:22:03.299
 his church.

00:22:04.839 --> 00:22:05.759
 And there's

00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:06.339
 an awful

00:22:06.339 --> 00:22:06.720
 lot of

00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:07.740
 teaching in

00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:08.339
 the pages

00:22:08.339 --> 00:22:09.160
 in between

00:22:09.160 --> 00:22:10.079
 and examples

00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:10.360
 in the

00:22:10.360 --> 00:22:10.799
 pages in

00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:11.980
 between of

00:22:11.980 --> 00:22:12.539
 marriage.

00:22:13.299 --> 00:22:13.620
 And so the

00:22:13.620 --> 00:22:13.960
 beginning of

00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:14.460
 the Bible

00:22:14.460 --> 00:22:15.779
 records God

00:22:15.779 --> 00:22:16.620
 creating the

00:22:16.620 --> 00:22:17.519
 universe and

00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.079
 towards the

00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:18.700
 end of that

00:22:18.700 --> 00:22:19.319
 process of

00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:19.819
 creation,

00:22:19.819 --> 00:22:20.879
 we have

00:22:20.879 --> 00:22:21.740
 God saying

00:22:21.740 --> 00:22:22.059
 this,

00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:22.980
 let us

00:22:22.980 --> 00:22:24.299
 make man

00:22:24.299 --> 00:22:24.759
 in our

00:22:24.759 --> 00:22:25.419
 image.

00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:27.659
 This is

00:22:27.659 --> 00:22:28.419
 the, if you

00:22:28.419 --> 00:22:28.879
 like, the

00:22:28.879 --> 00:22:30.240
 earliest glimpse

00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:31.539
 of what is

00:22:31.539 --> 00:22:32.720
 the Christian

00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:34.039
 teaching on the

00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:35.099
 Trinity of God.

00:22:35.099 --> 00:22:35.939
 That is,

00:22:36.059 --> 00:22:36.720
 there is one

00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:37.240
 God,

00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:38.059
 Father,

00:22:38.279 --> 00:22:38.559
 Son,

00:22:38.639 --> 00:22:39.159
 and Holy

00:22:39.159 --> 00:22:39.639
 Spirit.

00:22:39.640 --> 00:22:40.640
 God's

00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:41.640
 God's

00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:43.640
 plurality is

00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:44.700
 the thing

00:22:44.700 --> 00:22:45.640
 that's

00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:45.640


00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:46.640
 It was

00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:47.640
 St. Augustine

00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:49.700
 who said that

00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:51.060
 the Trinity is

00:22:51.060 --> 00:22:55.080
 the only version of God

00:22:55.080 --> 00:22:56.740
 and the only version of

00:22:56.740 --> 00:22:58.860
 God and the only version of

00:22:58.860 --> 00:23:01.240
 ultimate reality that has

00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:02.980
 personal relationship,

00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:04.800
 intimate personal

00:23:04.800 --> 00:23:06.860
 relationship at its very

00:23:06.859 --> 00:23:07.399
 core.

00:23:09.339 --> 00:23:10.479
 Only the God of

00:23:10.479 --> 00:23:11.839
 Christianity is a

00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:13.419
 God of community.

00:23:14.679 --> 00:23:16.000
 God is a, in

00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:16.959
 himself, a

00:23:16.959 --> 00:23:18.079
 self-sufficient,

00:23:18.619 --> 00:23:19.500
 self-sustaining

00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:20.179
 community.

00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:22.819
 The technical term

00:23:22.819 --> 00:23:24.459
 is perichoresis,

00:23:24.919 --> 00:23:25.659
 a mutual

00:23:25.659 --> 00:23:26.839
 indwelling of

00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:27.240
 mutual

00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:28.799
 sacrificial love.

00:23:29.319 --> 00:23:30.159
 That is at the

00:23:30.159 --> 00:23:30.779
 core of

00:23:30.779 --> 00:23:31.939
 ultimate reality.

00:23:31.940 --> 00:23:32.059
 unity.

00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:34.960
 Three persons

00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:36.460
 delighting in

00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:37.100
 and loving

00:23:37.100 --> 00:23:37.820
 each other.

00:23:38.519 --> 00:23:38.779
 You see,

00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:39.720
 if God were a

00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:40.640
 singular being,

00:23:41.600 --> 00:23:42.299
 monotheistic

00:23:42.299 --> 00:23:42.900
 view,

00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:43.600
 then

00:23:43.600 --> 00:23:46.120
 love and

00:23:46.120 --> 00:23:46.920
 relationship

00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:48.140
 would be entirely

00:23:48.140 --> 00:23:49.059
 secondary to

00:23:49.059 --> 00:23:49.420
 God.

00:23:50.019 --> 00:23:50.480
 It would be

00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:51.279
 secondary to

00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:52.240
 ultimate reality.

00:23:52.779 --> 00:23:53.180
 That is,

00:23:53.460 --> 00:23:54.400
 love,

00:23:54.600 --> 00:23:55.180
 relationship,

00:23:55.580 --> 00:23:56.420
 community

00:23:56.420 --> 00:23:57.360
 would be

00:23:57.360 --> 00:23:58.600
 derived from,

00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.000
 not at the

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:00.860
 center of.

00:24:01.940 --> 00:24:04.799
 And that's

00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:06.299
 the only way

00:24:06.299 --> 00:24:06.779
 that we can

00:24:06.779 --> 00:24:07.360
 come to

00:24:07.360 --> 00:24:09.440
 terms with

00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:10.120
 Genesis

00:24:10.120 --> 00:24:10.779
 chapter 2

00:24:10.779 --> 00:24:11.779
 verse 18

00:24:11.779 --> 00:24:12.759
 which says,

00:24:13.559 --> 00:24:14.299
 the Lord God

00:24:14.299 --> 00:24:14.920
 said,

00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:16.059
 it is not

00:24:16.059 --> 00:24:17.380
 good for

00:24:17.380 --> 00:24:18.059
 the man

00:24:18.059 --> 00:24:18.400
 to be

00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:18.860
 alone.

00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:20.940
 Every single

00:24:20.940 --> 00:24:21.559
 thing in the

00:24:21.559 --> 00:24:22.400
 creation account

00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:23.039
 up to this

00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:23.340
 point,

00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:23.860
 God said

00:24:23.860 --> 00:24:24.440
 is good.

00:24:24.900 --> 00:24:25.519
 This is the

00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:26.580
 only time

00:24:26.580 --> 00:24:27.539
 where he says

00:24:27.539 --> 00:24:28.320
 something is

00:24:28.320 --> 00:24:29.220
 not good.

00:24:29.220 --> 00:24:29.299
 God.

00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:32.079
 And the

00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:33.019
 missing piece

00:24:33.019 --> 00:24:34.059
 is Adam,

00:24:34.839 --> 00:24:35.600
 the man,

00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:36.799
 is made in

00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:37.960
 the image of

00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:39.019
 a God who

00:24:39.019 --> 00:24:40.339
 is us,

00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:42.299
 not me.

00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:45.980
 He was

00:24:45.980 --> 00:24:46.779
 made in the

00:24:46.779 --> 00:24:47.519
 image of an

00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:47.960
 eternal

00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:48.620
 community.

00:24:49.819 --> 00:24:50.059
 And so

00:24:50.059 --> 00:24:50.559
 personal

00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:51.799
 relationships are

00:24:51.799 --> 00:24:52.960
 the essence of

00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:53.539
 humanity.

00:24:54.339 --> 00:24:54.759
 Deep

00:24:54.759 --> 00:24:55.680
 relationship with

00:24:55.680 --> 00:24:56.000
 God,

00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:57.420
 deep relationship

00:24:57.420 --> 00:24:57.960
 with other

00:24:57.960 --> 00:24:58.759
 human beings

00:24:58.759 --> 00:24:59.880
 and particularly

00:24:59.880 --> 00:25:00.740
 deep relationship

00:25:00.740 --> 00:25:01.180
 with other

00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:01.779
 human beings

00:25:01.779 --> 00:25:02.080
 who are

00:25:02.080 --> 00:25:03.039
 different than

00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:03.500
 us.

00:25:03.700 --> 00:25:04.039
 And so

00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:05.800
 God creates

00:25:05.800 --> 00:25:06.340
 woman.

00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:10.380
 And the

00:25:10.380 --> 00:25:11.160
 last thing we

00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:11.900
 see in the

00:25:11.900 --> 00:25:12.960
 creation account

00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:14.380
 is that God

00:25:14.380 --> 00:25:15.640
 officiates at

00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:16.180
 the first

00:25:16.180 --> 00:25:17.920
 wedding in

00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:18.660
 Genesis chapter

00:25:18.660 --> 00:25:19.080
 2.

00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:19.980
 And when the

00:25:19.980 --> 00:25:21.080
 man sees the

00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:22.120
 woman, like

00:25:22.120 --> 00:25:22.500
 him but

00:25:22.500 --> 00:25:23.120
 different than

00:25:23.120 --> 00:25:24.300
 him, he

00:25:24.300 --> 00:25:25.460
 breaks out in

00:25:25.460 --> 00:25:27.300
 poetry and

00:25:27.299 --> 00:25:29.059
 exclaims,

00:25:30.200 --> 00:25:30.779
 oh boy,

00:25:31.339 --> 00:25:32.700
 wow,

00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:35.480
 wow,

00:25:36.039 --> 00:25:37.220
 at last,

00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:39.099
 this is it.

00:25:40.279 --> 00:25:40.839
 And so we

00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:41.440
 are meant to

00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:42.119
 conclude that

00:25:42.119 --> 00:25:43.500
 marriage to

00:25:43.500 --> 00:25:44.180
 our relationship

00:25:44.180 --> 00:25:45.099
 with God is

00:25:45.099 --> 00:25:45.599
 the most

00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:46.240
 profound

00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:47.960
 relationship in

00:25:47.960 --> 00:25:48.859
 all of

00:25:48.859 --> 00:25:49.599
 created order.

00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:52.759
 It reflects

00:25:52.759 --> 00:25:53.519
 the God who

00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:54.299
 made us.

00:25:54.299 --> 00:25:55.299
 God

00:25:55.299 --> 00:25:56.019
 reflects his

00:25:56.019 --> 00:25:56.559
 eternal

00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:57.899
 purposes to

00:25:57.899 --> 00:25:58.919
 bring humanity

00:25:58.919 --> 00:26:00.379
 into relationship

00:26:00.379 --> 00:26:01.159
 with himself and

00:26:01.159 --> 00:26:02.099
 be united with

00:26:02.099 --> 00:26:02.759
 himself through

00:26:02.759 --> 00:26:03.460
 the Lord Jesus

00:26:03.460 --> 00:26:04.740
 Christ forever.

00:26:06.180 --> 00:26:07.279
 So the

00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:07.740
 Bible doesn't

00:26:07.740 --> 00:26:08.339
 see marriage

00:26:08.339 --> 00:26:10.839
 as a human

00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:12.680
 institution that

00:26:12.680 --> 00:26:13.700
 is shaped by

00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:14.919
 culture as we

00:26:14.919 --> 00:26:15.759
 choose to shape

00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:15.960
 it.

00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:17.839
 It sees

00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:18.579
 marriage as

00:26:18.579 --> 00:26:19.240
 something that

00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:20.519
 is invented

00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:21.900
 by God

00:26:21.900 --> 00:26:23.740
 to display

00:26:23.740 --> 00:26:24.819
 something of

00:26:24.819 --> 00:26:26.539
 God and

00:26:26.539 --> 00:26:27.319
 his purposes

00:26:27.319 --> 00:26:28.819
 for humanity.

00:26:29.980 --> 00:26:30.539
 It sits

00:26:30.539 --> 00:26:31.440
 above culture.

00:26:32.379 --> 00:26:32.819
 Now, having

00:26:32.819 --> 00:26:33.500
 said that,

00:26:33.700 --> 00:26:34.879
 it's also a

00:26:34.879 --> 00:26:36.019
 human institution

00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:37.180
 and it reflects

00:26:37.180 --> 00:26:38.099
 the character

00:26:38.099 --> 00:26:39.139
 and the

00:26:39.139 --> 00:26:40.180
 particular human

00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:40.879
 culture in which

00:26:40.879 --> 00:26:41.440
 it's embedded.

00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:43.319
 But having

00:26:43.319 --> 00:26:44.119
 said that,

00:26:44.279 --> 00:26:44.980
 the Bible,

00:26:45.819 --> 00:26:46.460
 its teaching

00:26:46.460 --> 00:26:47.139
 on marriage,

00:26:47.279 --> 00:26:47.799
 does not

00:26:47.799 --> 00:26:49.180
 reflect a

00:26:49.180 --> 00:26:49.700
 particular

00:26:49.700 --> 00:26:51.120
 perspective of

00:26:51.120 --> 00:26:51.820
 any one

00:26:51.820 --> 00:26:52.480
 culture at

00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:53.019
 any one

00:26:53.019 --> 00:26:53.580
 time.

00:26:55.220 --> 00:26:55.779
 And so we

00:26:55.779 --> 00:26:56.720
 will unpack

00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:58.400
 this as we

00:26:58.400 --> 00:26:59.240
 go through

00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:00.779
 the rest of

00:27:00.779 --> 00:27:01.740
 Ephesians 5

00:27:01.740 --> 00:27:02.299
 and some of

00:27:02.299 --> 00:27:02.539
 the more

00:27:02.539 --> 00:27:03.120
 controversial

00:27:03.120 --> 00:27:03.680
 bits.

00:27:05.660 --> 00:27:06.240
 Controversial

00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:06.759
 bits because

00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:07.460
 of culturally

00:27:07.460 --> 00:27:07.960
 for our

00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:08.400
 time.

00:27:09.380 --> 00:27:09.900
 We're reading

00:27:09.900 --> 00:27:10.320
 it through a

00:27:10.320 --> 00:27:10.779
 lens of a

00:27:10.779 --> 00:27:11.380
 culture, not

00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:11.920
 through God's

00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:12.299
 purposes.

00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:13.860
 And so the

00:27:13.860 --> 00:27:14.860
 Bible challenges

00:27:14.860 --> 00:27:16.019
 our contemporary

00:27:16.019 --> 00:27:17.080
 Western culture's

00:27:17.080 --> 00:27:17.720
 narrative of

00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:18.620
 individual freedom

00:27:18.619 --> 00:27:19.619
 as the only

00:27:19.619 --> 00:27:20.119
 way to be

00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:20.439
 happy.

00:27:21.239 --> 00:27:21.979
 It also

00:27:21.979 --> 00:27:23.259
 critiques how

00:27:23.259 --> 00:27:24.079
 traditional

00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:26.079
 cultures perceive

00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:26.919
 the unmarried

00:27:26.919 --> 00:27:27.859
 adult to be

00:27:27.859 --> 00:27:28.500
 less than a

00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:29.099
 fully formed

00:27:29.099 --> 00:27:29.779
 human being.

00:27:31.879 --> 00:27:32.259
 Genesis

00:27:32.259 --> 00:27:33.359
 critiques the

00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:34.879
 institution of

00:27:34.879 --> 00:27:35.379
 polygamy.

00:27:35.739 --> 00:27:36.500
 It records it.

00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:36.939
 It doesn't

00:27:36.939 --> 00:27:37.679
 endorse it.

00:27:39.619 --> 00:27:40.699
 Because even

00:27:40.699 --> 00:27:41.579
 in the times of

00:27:41.579 --> 00:27:42.939
 Genesis, it

00:27:42.939 --> 00:27:44.139
 was accepted

00:27:44.139 --> 00:27:45.379
 cultural practice.

00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:47.780
 and so what

00:27:47.780 --> 00:27:48.540
 Genesis does

00:27:48.540 --> 00:27:49.240
 for us, it

00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:50.540
 records the

00:27:50.540 --> 00:27:51.740
 misery and

00:27:51.740 --> 00:27:52.900
 the havoc it

00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:53.860
 plays in

00:27:53.860 --> 00:27:55.160
 family relationships

00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:56.040
 and the

00:27:56.040 --> 00:27:57.680
 pain that it

00:27:57.680 --> 00:27:58.620
 caused and

00:27:58.620 --> 00:27:59.980
 particularly for

00:27:59.980 --> 00:28:00.300
 women.

00:28:01.460 --> 00:28:01.940
 The New

00:28:01.940 --> 00:28:02.980
 Testament writers

00:28:02.980 --> 00:28:04.020
 lift up long

00:28:04.020 --> 00:28:04.840
 term singleness

00:28:04.840 --> 00:28:06.440
 as a legitimate

00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:07.700
 way to live in

00:28:07.700 --> 00:28:09.200
 a way that is

00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:10.340
 countercultural to

00:28:10.340 --> 00:28:12.060
 our day and

00:28:12.060 --> 00:28:13.180
 countercultural to

00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:13.960
 traditional

00:28:13.960 --> 00:28:15.039
 communities and

00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:15.560
 societies.

00:28:16.600 --> 00:28:17.160
 And so what we

00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:18.440
 can't do is we

00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:19.640
 can't write off

00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:20.940
 the biblical view

00:28:20.940 --> 00:28:21.700
 of marriage as

00:28:21.700 --> 00:28:22.320
 being one

00:28:22.320 --> 00:28:23.140
 dimensional, as

00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:23.880
 being regressive

00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:24.640
 and culturally

00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:25.279
 obsolete.

00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:26.920
 You can't do

00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:27.240
 that.

00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:31.140
 The Bible also

00:28:31.140 --> 00:28:32.580
 tells us that

00:28:32.580 --> 00:28:33.660
 sin is the

00:28:33.660 --> 00:28:34.920
 source of all

00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:36.560
 relational

00:28:36.560 --> 00:28:37.259
 breakdown.

00:28:38.140 --> 00:28:39.240
 Because straight

00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:40.180
 after the first

00:28:40.180 --> 00:28:40.940
 wedding of Adam

00:28:40.940 --> 00:28:41.640
 and Eve, these

00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:43.060
 newlyweds rejected

00:28:43.059 --> 00:28:44.700
 God's rule over

00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:45.379
 their life.

00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:47.179
 They disobeyed

00:28:47.179 --> 00:28:48.960
 his commands,

00:28:49.159 --> 00:28:49.799
 went down the

00:28:49.799 --> 00:28:50.759
 path of self

00:28:50.759 --> 00:28:51.579
 realisation,

00:28:52.700 --> 00:28:53.200
 living for

00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:53.720
 themselves.

00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:55.220
 And what

00:28:55.220 --> 00:28:56.019
 happened in that

00:28:56.019 --> 00:28:56.980
 moment with Adam

00:28:56.980 --> 00:28:57.960
 and Eve was

00:28:57.960 --> 00:28:59.000
 immediately, it

00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:59.720
 was profound.

00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:01.079
 They went from

00:29:01.079 --> 00:29:01.960
 the wow,

00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:03.980
 unity,

00:29:05.179 --> 00:29:06.879
 they went from

00:29:06.879 --> 00:29:08.799
 total transparency

00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:10.240
 and vulnerability

00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:13.319
 to immediately

00:29:13.319 --> 00:29:14.139
 wanting to cover

00:29:14.139 --> 00:29:15.000
 themselves up,

00:29:15.779 --> 00:29:16.639
 to immediately

00:29:16.639 --> 00:29:17.859
 wanting to hide

00:29:17.859 --> 00:29:20.240
 themselves from

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.519
 the one who

00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:22.619
 moments earlier

00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:23.139
 they went,

00:29:23.500 --> 00:29:23.559
 wow.

00:29:23.559 --> 00:29:28.119
 and so the main

00:29:28.119 --> 00:29:29.059
 reason no one

00:29:29.059 --> 00:29:30.000
 ever marries the

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:30.919
 right person

00:29:30.919 --> 00:29:32.619
 is because all

00:29:32.619 --> 00:29:33.179
 of us since

00:29:33.179 --> 00:29:33.899
 that day

00:29:33.899 --> 00:29:34.879
 are broken

00:29:34.879 --> 00:29:35.659
 by sin

00:29:35.659 --> 00:29:36.519
 and we are

00:29:36.519 --> 00:29:37.339
 all profoundly

00:29:37.339 --> 00:29:38.200
 self-centred.

00:29:39.299 --> 00:29:39.700
 And so the

00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:40.460
 Bible's view of

00:29:40.460 --> 00:29:41.679
 marriage explains

00:29:41.679 --> 00:29:43.359
 why it is so

00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:44.119
 good and

00:29:44.119 --> 00:29:44.700
 important

00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:45.839
 and it

00:29:45.839 --> 00:29:46.359
 teaches

00:29:46.359 --> 00:29:48.099
 us

00:29:48.099 --> 00:29:49.099
 sin

00:29:49.099 --> 00:29:50.379
 is the

00:29:50.379 --> 00:29:51.379
 reason why

00:29:51.379 --> 00:29:52.519
 it makes

00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:53.119
 it so

00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:53.719
 hard.

00:29:55.699 --> 00:29:56.459
 That's the

00:29:56.459 --> 00:29:56.740
 biblical

00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:57.539
 perspective of

00:29:57.539 --> 00:29:58.099
 holding both

00:29:58.099 --> 00:29:58.639
 of those things

00:29:58.639 --> 00:29:59.039
 together.

00:29:59.659 --> 00:30:00.199
 So let's

00:30:00.199 --> 00:30:00.740
 jump very

00:30:00.740 --> 00:30:01.459
 quickly to

00:30:01.459 --> 00:30:02.559
 Ephesians 5

00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:03.679
 and the

00:30:03.679 --> 00:30:04.240
 mystery of

00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:04.639
 marriage.

00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:06.480
 That phrase,

00:30:08.599 --> 00:30:09.419
 if you like,

00:30:09.579 --> 00:30:10.419
 verse 32 is

00:30:10.419 --> 00:30:11.079
 the pinnacle

00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:13.000
 of

00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.559
 Ephesians 5

00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:16.119
 and this

00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:16.659
 passage on

00:30:16.659 --> 00:30:17.099
 marriage.

00:30:17.740 --> 00:30:17.959
 And the

00:30:17.959 --> 00:30:18.439
 one that I

00:30:18.439 --> 00:30:19.019
 think many

00:30:19.019 --> 00:30:19.799
 married people

00:30:19.799 --> 00:30:20.339
 can relate

00:30:20.339 --> 00:30:20.879
 to is

00:30:20.879 --> 00:30:21.559
 verse 32.

00:30:22.299 --> 00:30:22.859
 This is a

00:30:22.859 --> 00:30:23.180
 profound

00:30:23.180 --> 00:30:23.639
 mystery.

00:30:25.019 --> 00:30:25.819
 The Greek

00:30:25.819 --> 00:30:26.299
 word that

00:30:26.299 --> 00:30:27.099
 Paul uses

00:30:27.099 --> 00:30:27.879
 there is

00:30:27.879 --> 00:30:28.740
 mysterion

00:30:28.740 --> 00:30:30.200
 and it

00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:30.539
 has a

00:30:30.539 --> 00:30:31.039
 range of

00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:31.940
 meanings

00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:32.660
 including

00:30:32.660 --> 00:30:33.460
 the idea

00:30:33.460 --> 00:30:34.220
 of secret,

00:30:34.339 --> 00:30:34.639
 the idea

00:30:34.639 --> 00:30:34.920
 of a

00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:35.279
 secret.

00:30:36.460 --> 00:30:36.700
 And in

00:30:36.700 --> 00:30:38.980
 the Bible

00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:39.559
 the word

00:30:39.559 --> 00:30:40.119
 secret

00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:42.359
 means a

00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:43.160
 wondrous

00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:45.279
 unlooked

00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:46.440
 for truth

00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:47.359
 that God

00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:47.819
 is making

00:30:47.819 --> 00:30:48.359
 known through

00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:49.000
 his spirit.

00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:49.819
 We're not

00:30:49.819 --> 00:30:50.400
 looking for

00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:50.920
 it but God's

00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:51.680
 revealing it

00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:52.599
 through his

00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:52.960
 spirit.

00:30:53.339 --> 00:30:53.700
 That's what

00:30:53.700 --> 00:30:54.160
 the idea

00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:54.639
 is.

00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:55.480
 And this is

00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:55.920
 how he

00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:56.440
 describes

00:30:56.440 --> 00:30:56.980
 marriage.

00:30:57.299 --> 00:30:57.660
 In verse

00:30:57.660 --> 00:30:58.740
 31 he

00:30:58.740 --> 00:30:59.240
 quotes the

00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:00.079
 final verse

00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:00.379
 of the

00:31:00.379 --> 00:31:00.680
 Genesis

00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:01.339
 account of

00:31:01.339 --> 00:31:01.680
 the first

00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:01.980
 marriage.

00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:02.279
 A man

00:31:02.279 --> 00:31:02.839
 shall leave

00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:03.599
 his father

00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:03.940
 and mother

00:31:03.940 --> 00:31:04.160
 and be

00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:04.599
 united to

00:31:04.599 --> 00:31:04.920
 his wife

00:31:04.920 --> 00:31:05.099
 and the

00:31:05.099 --> 00:31:05.420
 two shall

00:31:05.420 --> 00:31:06.099
 become one

00:31:06.099 --> 00:31:06.500
 flesh.

00:31:06.500 --> 00:31:07.160
 and then

00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:08.019
 he adds

00:31:08.019 --> 00:31:09.920
 this is

00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:10.359
 a profound

00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:11.059
 mystery or

00:31:11.059 --> 00:31:11.740
 quite literally

00:31:11.740 --> 00:31:12.339
 this is a

00:31:12.339 --> 00:31:12.559
 mega

00:31:12.559 --> 00:31:13.220
 mysterion.

00:31:14.579 --> 00:31:15.299
 It's an

00:31:15.299 --> 00:31:16.039
 extraordinarily

00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:17.480
 great,

00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.859
 wonderful and

00:31:18.859 --> 00:31:19.380
 profound

00:31:19.380 --> 00:31:20.480
 truth that

00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:20.880
 can be

00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:21.319
 understood

00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:22.420
 only with

00:31:22.420 --> 00:31:22.799
 the help

00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:23.299
 of God's

00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:23.559
 spirit.

00:31:23.559 --> 00:31:27.819
 what is the

00:31:27.819 --> 00:31:28.240
 secret of

00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:28.619
 marriage?

00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:30.419
 What is the

00:31:30.419 --> 00:31:31.019
 mystery, the

00:31:31.019 --> 00:31:31.399
 profound

00:31:31.399 --> 00:31:31.899
 mystery?

00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:34.000
 Paul

00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:34.740
 immediately

00:31:34.740 --> 00:31:35.559
 adds it.

00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:37.399
 I am

00:31:37.399 --> 00:31:38.139
 talking about

00:31:38.139 --> 00:31:39.419
 Christ and

00:31:39.419 --> 00:31:40.159
 the church.

00:31:41.139 --> 00:31:41.839
 That's the

00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:42.259
 mystery of

00:31:42.259 --> 00:31:42.579
 marriage.

00:31:43.059 --> 00:31:43.480
 And when he

00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:44.200
 says about

00:31:44.200 --> 00:31:44.700
 that, what

00:31:44.700 --> 00:31:45.299
 he's referring

00:31:45.299 --> 00:31:45.899
 to is verse

00:31:45.899 --> 00:31:46.440
 25.

00:31:46.940 --> 00:31:47.619
 A husband,

00:31:48.379 --> 00:31:48.980
 love your

00:31:48.980 --> 00:31:50.159
 wives just

00:31:50.159 --> 00:31:51.059
 as Christ

00:31:51.059 --> 00:31:51.919
 loved the

00:31:51.919 --> 00:31:52.940
 church and

00:31:52.940 --> 00:31:54.420
 gave himself

00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:55.100
 up for

00:31:55.100 --> 00:31:55.440
 her.

00:31:57.059 --> 00:31:57.620
 See, the

00:31:57.620 --> 00:31:58.000
 profound

00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:00.120
 mystery is

00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:01.620
 not marriage

00:32:01.620 --> 00:32:02.360
 per se.

00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:04.779
 The profound

00:32:04.779 --> 00:32:06.160
 mystery is

00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:07.000
 what husbands

00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:08.039
 should do for

00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:08.920
 their wives

00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:10.860
 is what

00:32:10.860 --> 00:32:11.820
 Jesus has

00:32:11.820 --> 00:32:12.779
 already done

00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:13.440
 to bring us

00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:14.380
 into union

00:32:14.380 --> 00:32:14.779
 with the

00:32:14.779 --> 00:32:15.180
 God who's

00:32:15.180 --> 00:32:16.019
 created us.

00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:17.180
 That's the

00:32:17.180 --> 00:32:17.519
 profound

00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:18.019
 mystery.

00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:20.360
 Jesus gave

00:32:20.360 --> 00:32:21.559
 himself up

00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:22.759
 for us.

00:32:22.940 --> 00:32:25.340
 the profound

00:32:25.340 --> 00:32:26.759
 mystery is

00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:27.840
 that every

00:32:27.840 --> 00:32:29.600
 marriage is

00:32:29.600 --> 00:32:30.640
 a snapshot

00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:33.440
 of the

00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:34.180
 union

00:32:34.180 --> 00:32:35.440
 between

00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:37.480
 God

00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:40.220
 and his

00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:41.160
 spouse,

00:32:41.779 --> 00:32:42.420
 his people,

00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:43.160
 the church.

00:32:44.220 --> 00:32:44.980
 Every

00:32:44.980 --> 00:32:45.539
 marriage.

00:32:45.539 --> 00:32:48.799
 Jesus,

00:32:49.099 --> 00:32:49.579
 God the

00:32:49.579 --> 00:32:49.920
 son,

00:32:50.659 --> 00:32:51.460
 though equal

00:32:51.460 --> 00:32:51.899
 with the

00:32:51.899 --> 00:32:52.200
 father,

00:32:52.339 --> 00:32:52.859
 gave up

00:32:52.859 --> 00:32:53.420
 his glory,

00:32:53.579 --> 00:32:53.819
 humbled

00:32:53.819 --> 00:32:54.259
 himself,

00:32:54.420 --> 00:32:54.799
 took on

00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:55.259
 our human

00:32:55.259 --> 00:32:55.740
 nature.

00:32:56.180 --> 00:32:56.319
 He

00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:56.940
 willingly

00:32:56.940 --> 00:32:57.559
 lowered

00:32:57.559 --> 00:32:58.299
 himself

00:32:58.299 --> 00:32:59.359
 further

00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:00.180
 down even

00:33:00.180 --> 00:33:01.339
 still by

00:33:01.339 --> 00:33:02.000
 dying on a

00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:02.680
 Roman cross,

00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:03.359
 paying the

00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:04.399
 penalty for

00:33:04.399 --> 00:33:05.339
 our sin of

00:33:05.339 --> 00:33:06.180
 rejecting God

00:33:06.180 --> 00:33:06.700
 and pursuing

00:33:06.700 --> 00:33:08.119
 self-actualization.

00:33:08.819 --> 00:33:09.740
 And in doing

00:33:09.740 --> 00:33:10.720
 so, he removes

00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:11.440
 our guilt and

00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:12.440
 our condemnation

00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:13.620
 so that we

00:33:13.620 --> 00:33:14.500
 can be united

00:33:14.500 --> 00:33:16.299
 with him and

00:33:16.299 --> 00:33:17.299
 take on his

00:33:17.299 --> 00:33:18.259
 glorious nature.

00:33:19.900 --> 00:33:21.559
 He gave up

00:33:21.559 --> 00:33:22.880
 his infinite

00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:23.960
 glory.

00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:26.920
 He broke an

00:33:26.920 --> 00:33:27.559
 eternal

00:33:27.559 --> 00:33:29.480
 relationship and

00:33:29.480 --> 00:33:30.120
 became a

00:33:30.120 --> 00:33:30.340
 slave.

00:33:30.339 --> 00:33:32.599
 He died to

00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:33.220
 his own

00:33:33.220 --> 00:33:34.019
 self-interest

00:33:34.019 --> 00:33:35.159
 and looked

00:33:35.159 --> 00:33:36.519
 to our

00:33:36.519 --> 00:33:37.039
 interests

00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:37.799
 instead.

00:33:39.740 --> 00:33:40.059
 Jesus'

00:33:40.299 --> 00:33:40.779
 sacrificial

00:33:40.779 --> 00:33:41.539
 service to

00:33:41.539 --> 00:33:43.019
 us has

00:33:43.019 --> 00:33:43.759
 brought us

00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:44.319
 into a

00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:45.039
 deep union

00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:45.740
 with him

00:33:45.740 --> 00:33:47.000
 and he

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:47.699
 with us.

00:33:49.899 --> 00:33:50.559
 And Paul

00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:51.740
 says that

00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:52.659
 the key to

00:33:52.659 --> 00:33:53.319
 not only

00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:54.339
 understanding

00:33:54.339 --> 00:33:55.019
 marriage,

00:33:55.899 --> 00:33:56.959
 but living

00:33:56.959 --> 00:33:57.679
 marriage,

00:33:58.839 --> 00:33:59.579
 is that.

00:34:00.339 --> 00:34:03.099
 as one

00:34:03.099 --> 00:34:03.839
 commentator

00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:04.339
 put it,

00:34:05.019 --> 00:34:05.699
 when God

00:34:05.699 --> 00:34:06.559
 designed the

00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:07.599
 original marriage,

00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:08.460
 he already

00:34:08.460 --> 00:34:09.460
 had Christ

00:34:09.460 --> 00:34:10.119
 and the

00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:10.840
 church in

00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:11.319
 mind.

00:34:13.059 --> 00:34:13.819
 This is

00:34:13.819 --> 00:34:14.159
 one of

00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:15.199
 God's great

00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:15.920
 purposes in

00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:16.340
 marriage,

00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:17.360
 to picture

00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:18.219
 the relationship

00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:19.239
 between Christ

00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:20.099
 and his

00:34:20.099 --> 00:34:21.059
 redeeming people

00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:21.500
 forever.

00:34:21.759 --> 00:34:22.299
 It's like

00:34:22.299 --> 00:34:23.539
 God had

00:34:23.539 --> 00:34:24.319
 planned out

00:34:24.319 --> 00:34:24.880
 the grand

00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:25.299
 plan.

00:34:25.420 --> 00:34:25.880
 The grand

00:34:25.880 --> 00:34:27.000
 plan was to

00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:27.380
 bring a

00:34:27.380 --> 00:34:27.779
 people,

00:34:27.940 --> 00:34:28.699
 unite his

00:34:28.699 --> 00:34:29.259
 son to

00:34:29.259 --> 00:34:30.039
 his spouse,

00:34:30.039 --> 00:34:30.800
 the bride

00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:31.259
 of Christ,

00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:31.920
 the church,

00:34:32.059 --> 00:34:32.679
 for all of

00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:33.059
 eternity,

00:34:33.059 --> 00:34:33.579
 in his

00:34:33.579 --> 00:34:34.199
 presence,

00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:35.039
 where they

00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:35.739
 would enjoy

00:34:35.739 --> 00:34:36.320
 the presence

00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:36.759
 of God,

00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:37.079
 they would

00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:38.320
 enjoy a

00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:38.880
 relationship,

00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:39.539
 a mutual

00:34:39.539 --> 00:34:40.159
 love,

00:34:40.279 --> 00:34:41.099
 for all of

00:34:41.099 --> 00:34:41.699
 eternity,

00:34:42.179 --> 00:34:42.500
 and they're

00:34:42.500 --> 00:34:42.719
 like,

00:34:42.860 --> 00:34:43.019
 okay,

00:34:43.179 --> 00:34:43.739
 so in the

00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:44.179
 meantime,

00:34:44.380 --> 00:34:45.599
 how do we

00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:46.739
 reveal something

00:34:46.739 --> 00:34:48.039
 of that so

00:34:48.039 --> 00:34:48.619
 that people can

00:34:48.619 --> 00:34:49.639
 grasp that

00:34:49.639 --> 00:34:50.079
 which is

00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:50.619
 profoundly

00:34:50.619 --> 00:34:51.500
 ungraspable,

00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:52.599
 graspable,

00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:54.400
 whatever that

00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:54.800
 word is.

00:34:55.279 --> 00:34:55.880
 How do we

00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:56.380
 do that?

00:34:57.840 --> 00:34:58.279
 Marriage,

00:34:58.579 --> 00:34:59.000
 between a

00:34:59.000 --> 00:34:59.340
 man or

00:34:59.340 --> 00:34:59.519
 woman.

00:35:02.219 --> 00:35:02.800
 That'll be

00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:03.320
 the picture

00:35:03.320 --> 00:35:03.659
 that will

00:35:03.659 --> 00:35:04.039
 reveal the

00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:04.659
 reality.

00:35:11.659 --> 00:35:12.219
 Marriage,

00:35:12.420 --> 00:35:13.420
 as the

00:35:13.420 --> 00:35:13.800
 Bible

00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:14.900
 describes it,

00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:16.199
 because of

00:35:16.199 --> 00:35:18.099
 Christ and

00:35:18.099 --> 00:35:18.579
 what he has

00:35:18.579 --> 00:35:19.559
 done for us,

00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:20.280
 is not

00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:20.880
 inherently

00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:21.639
 oppressive at

00:35:21.639 --> 00:35:21.940
 all.

00:35:23.199 --> 00:35:23.800
 Paul shows

00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:24.440
 us that even

00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:25.400
 on earth,

00:35:25.980 --> 00:35:26.639
 Jesus did

00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:27.360
 not use his

00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:27.900
 power to

00:35:27.900 --> 00:35:28.680
 oppress us,

00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:29.500
 but he

00:35:29.500 --> 00:35:30.300
 sacrificed

00:35:30.300 --> 00:35:31.500
 everything to

00:35:31.500 --> 00:35:31.880
 bring us

00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:32.360
 into union

00:35:32.360 --> 00:35:32.880
 with him.

00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:35.260
 This deeply,

00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:36.700
 deeply impacts

00:35:36.700 --> 00:35:37.360
 marriage on a

00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:38.579
 practical level.

00:35:39.099 --> 00:35:39.820
 If God

00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:41.019
 had the

00:35:41.019 --> 00:35:41.559
 gospel of

00:35:41.559 --> 00:35:42.300
 salvation through

00:35:42.300 --> 00:35:42.980
 Jesus in

00:35:42.980 --> 00:35:43.700
 mind when he

00:35:43.700 --> 00:35:44.160
 established

00:35:44.160 --> 00:35:44.820
 marriage,

00:35:45.340 --> 00:35:46.119
 then marriage

00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:47.740
 flourishes

00:35:47.740 --> 00:35:49.200
 to the

00:35:49.200 --> 00:35:51.700
 degree it

00:35:51.700 --> 00:35:53.079
 follows that

00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:53.800
 pattern of

00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:54.200
 God's

00:35:54.200 --> 00:35:54.880
 self-giving

00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:56.140
 love in

00:35:56.140 --> 00:35:56.780
 Christ.

00:36:00.340 --> 00:36:01.400
 What Paul

00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:02.220
 is saying

00:36:02.220 --> 00:36:05.460
 is that

00:36:05.460 --> 00:36:06.320
 marriage is

00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:07.200
 not inherently

00:36:07.200 --> 00:36:08.539
 oppressive and

00:36:08.539 --> 00:36:09.760
 restrictive,

00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:12.720
 nor are its

00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:13.480
 demands

00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:14.420
 overwhelming.

00:36:17.420 --> 00:36:19.059
 Feeling stuck

00:36:19.059 --> 00:36:20.280
 in your

00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:20.740
 marriage?

00:36:20.739 --> 00:36:23.339
 or Paul

00:36:23.339 --> 00:36:23.539
 says,

00:36:23.639 --> 00:36:23.919
 you do

00:36:23.919 --> 00:36:24.259
 for your

00:36:24.259 --> 00:36:24.619
 spouse

00:36:24.619 --> 00:36:25.159
 what God

00:36:25.159 --> 00:36:25.500
 did for

00:36:25.500 --> 00:36:25.799
 you in

00:36:25.799 --> 00:36:26.399
 Jesus and

00:36:26.399 --> 00:36:26.759
 the rest

00:36:26.759 --> 00:36:27.279
 will follow.

00:36:29.799 --> 00:36:30.639
 The mystery

00:36:30.639 --> 00:36:31.379
 of marriage

00:36:31.379 --> 00:36:32.039
 is that the

00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:32.639
 gospel of

00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:33.339
 Jesus and

00:36:33.339 --> 00:36:34.299
 marriage actually

00:36:34.299 --> 00:36:35.139
 explain one

00:36:35.139 --> 00:36:35.459
 another.

00:36:37.419 --> 00:36:38.199
 When God

00:36:38.199 --> 00:36:38.639
 invented

00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:39.199
 marriage,

00:36:39.379 --> 00:36:39.959
 he already

00:36:39.959 --> 00:36:40.359
 had the

00:36:40.359 --> 00:36:41.000
 saving work

00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:41.359
 of Jesus

00:36:41.359 --> 00:36:41.819
 in mind.

00:36:42.779 --> 00:36:43.319
 So is

00:36:43.319 --> 00:36:44.059
 the purpose

00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:44.559
 of marriage

00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:45.099
 to deny

00:36:45.099 --> 00:36:45.799
 your interest

00:36:45.799 --> 00:36:46.119
 for the

00:36:46.119 --> 00:36:46.399
 good of

00:36:46.399 --> 00:36:46.859
 your family

00:36:46.859 --> 00:36:47.299
 and society

00:36:47.299 --> 00:36:47.759
 at large,

00:36:47.839 --> 00:36:48.459
 or is it

00:36:48.459 --> 00:36:48.939
 to assert

00:36:48.939 --> 00:36:49.399
 your interest

00:36:49.399 --> 00:36:49.679
 for the

00:36:49.679 --> 00:36:49.919
 fulfillment

00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:50.500
 of yourself?

00:36:53.659 --> 00:36:54.400
 Which one

00:36:54.400 --> 00:36:54.800
 is it?

00:36:55.460 --> 00:36:55.740
 Because

00:36:55.740 --> 00:36:56.240
 traditional

00:36:56.240 --> 00:36:56.700
 and modern

00:36:56.700 --> 00:36:57.139
 marriages

00:36:57.139 --> 00:36:57.700
 puts a

00:36:57.700 --> 00:36:58.559
 choice

00:36:58.559 --> 00:36:58.920
 between

00:36:58.920 --> 00:36:59.360
 those two

00:36:59.360 --> 00:36:59.860
 things.

00:37:00.960 --> 00:37:01.659
 The Bible

00:37:01.659 --> 00:37:02.220
 does not

00:37:02.220 --> 00:37:02.900
 present

00:37:02.900 --> 00:37:03.740
 marriage

00:37:03.740 --> 00:37:04.119
 as a

00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:04.519
 choice

00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:04.940
 between

00:37:04.940 --> 00:37:05.420
 fulfillment

00:37:05.420 --> 00:37:05.760
 and

00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:06.480
 sacrifice.

00:37:08.940 --> 00:37:09.619
 Christianity

00:37:09.619 --> 00:37:10.720
 sees marriage

00:37:10.720 --> 00:37:11.619
 as mutual

00:37:11.619 --> 00:37:12.220
 fulfillment

00:37:12.220 --> 00:37:13.340
 through

00:37:13.340 --> 00:37:13.840
 mutual

00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:14.740
 sacrifice.

00:37:14.739 --> 00:37:19.339
 Jesus

00:37:19.339 --> 00:37:19.799
 humbled

00:37:19.799 --> 00:37:20.279
 himself,

00:37:20.379 --> 00:37:20.519
 lay

00:37:20.519 --> 00:37:21.039
 aside

00:37:21.039 --> 00:37:21.299
 his

00:37:21.299 --> 00:37:21.739
 glory

00:37:21.739 --> 00:37:22.079
 and

00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:22.379
 gave

00:37:22.379 --> 00:37:22.759
 himself

00:37:22.759 --> 00:37:23.119
 over

00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:23.299
 to

00:37:23.299 --> 00:37:23.539
 death

00:37:23.539 --> 00:37:23.779
 to

00:37:23.779 --> 00:37:24.099
 save

00:37:24.099 --> 00:37:24.379
 us

00:37:24.379 --> 00:37:25.019
 and

00:37:25.019 --> 00:37:25.159
 to

00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:25.399
 make

00:37:25.399 --> 00:37:25.619
 us

00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:25.959
 his.

00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:27.639
 And

00:37:27.639 --> 00:37:27.899
 now

00:37:27.899 --> 00:37:28.139
 we

00:37:28.139 --> 00:37:28.500
 give

00:37:28.500 --> 00:37:29.000
 ourselves

00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:29.399
 up.

00:37:29.979 --> 00:37:30.539
 We

00:37:30.539 --> 00:37:31.059
 die

00:37:31.059 --> 00:37:31.500
 to

00:37:31.500 --> 00:37:32.119
 ourselves

00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:32.719
 first

00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:33.619
 when we

00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:34.000
 repent

00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:34.439
 and believe

00:37:34.439 --> 00:37:35.000
 the gospel

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.179
 and later

00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:36.659
 as we

00:37:36.659 --> 00:37:37.119
 submit to

00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:37.319
 his

00:37:37.319 --> 00:37:37.539
 will

00:37:37.539 --> 00:37:37.759
 day

00:37:37.759 --> 00:37:37.939
 by

00:37:37.939 --> 00:37:38.259
 day.

00:37:38.260 --> 00:37:40.520
 You

00:37:40.520 --> 00:37:40.640
 see

00:37:40.640 --> 00:37:41.080
 when we

00:37:41.080 --> 00:37:41.360
 give

00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:41.980
 ourselves

00:37:41.980 --> 00:37:42.360
 to

00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:42.980
 Jesus

00:37:42.980 --> 00:37:44.260
 completely

00:37:44.260 --> 00:37:44.760
 surrender

00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:45.200
 ourselves

00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:45.440
 to

00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:45.840
 Jesus

00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:46.680
 we

00:37:46.680 --> 00:37:47.120
 discover

00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:47.520
 it's

00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:47.980
 radically

00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:48.780
 safe

00:37:48.780 --> 00:37:49.920
 radically

00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:50.500
 safe

00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:51.200
 because

00:37:51.200 --> 00:37:51.660
 he has

00:37:51.660 --> 00:37:52.020
 already

00:37:52.020 --> 00:37:52.560
 shown

00:37:52.560 --> 00:37:53.920
 us

00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:54.600
 that

00:37:54.600 --> 00:37:54.800
 he

00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:55.000
 is

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:55.220
 willing

00:37:55.220 --> 00:37:55.440
 to

00:37:55.440 --> 00:37:55.620
 go

00:37:55.620 --> 00:37:55.800
 to

00:37:55.800 --> 00:37:56.040
 hell

00:37:56.040 --> 00:37:56.280
 and

00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:56.520
 back

00:37:56.520 --> 00:37:56.840
 for

00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:57.340
 us.

00:37:59.260 --> 00:37:59.860
 Surrending

00:37:59.860 --> 00:38:00.220
 oneself

00:38:00.220 --> 00:38:00.520
 to

00:38:00.520 --> 00:38:00.920
 Jesus

00:38:00.920 --> 00:38:01.160
 does

00:38:01.160 --> 00:38:01.320
 not

00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:01.600
 mean

00:38:01.600 --> 00:38:02.000
 losing

00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:02.460
 yourself

00:38:02.460 --> 00:38:02.620
 at

00:38:02.620 --> 00:38:03.000
 all.

00:38:03.720 --> 00:38:03.940
 It

00:38:03.940 --> 00:38:04.220
 means

00:38:04.220 --> 00:38:04.440
 in

00:38:04.440 --> 00:38:04.700
 fact

00:38:04.700 --> 00:38:05.180
 gaining

00:38:05.180 --> 00:38:05.740
 yourself.

00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:07.320
 His

00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:07.720
 love

00:38:07.719 --> 00:38:07.939
 is

00:38:07.939 --> 00:38:08.579
 unconditional

00:38:08.579 --> 00:38:11.299
 and

00:38:11.299 --> 00:38:11.480
 so

00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:11.679
 what

00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:11.899
 the

00:38:11.899 --> 00:38:12.239
 mystery

00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:12.419
 of

00:38:12.419 --> 00:38:12.719
 marriage

00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:13.299
 does

00:38:13.299 --> 00:38:13.579
 is

00:38:13.579 --> 00:38:13.719
 it

00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:14.119
 reveals

00:38:14.119 --> 00:38:14.399
 the

00:38:14.399 --> 00:38:14.779
 beauty

00:38:14.779 --> 00:38:15.019
 and

00:38:15.019 --> 00:38:15.199
 the

00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:15.639
 depths

00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:15.859
 of

00:38:15.859 --> 00:38:16.059
 the

00:38:16.059 --> 00:38:16.439
 gospel

00:38:16.439 --> 00:38:16.699
 to

00:38:16.699 --> 00:38:17.059
 you

00:38:17.059 --> 00:38:19.579
 and

00:38:19.579 --> 00:38:21.159
 marriage

00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:21.379
 will

00:38:21.379 --> 00:38:21.719
 drive

00:38:21.719 --> 00:38:21.919
 you

00:38:21.919 --> 00:38:22.239
 further

00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:22.539
 into

00:38:22.539 --> 00:38:23.099
 reliance

00:38:23.099 --> 00:38:23.539
 on

00:38:23.539 --> 00:38:23.739
 it.

00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:27.239
 Marriage

00:38:27.239 --> 00:38:28.199
 is a

00:38:28.199 --> 00:38:28.480
 major

00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:29.019
 vehicle

00:38:29.019 --> 00:38:29.659
 for the

00:38:29.659 --> 00:38:30.219
 gospel's

00:38:30.219 --> 00:38:30.719
 remaking

00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:31.239
 of your

00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:31.659
 heart

00:38:31.659 --> 00:38:33.779
 from the

00:38:33.779 --> 00:38:34.219
 inside

00:38:34.219 --> 00:38:34.739
 out

00:38:34.739 --> 00:38:36.000
 and of

00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:36.159
 your

00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:36.519
 life

00:38:36.519 --> 00:38:36.839
 from the

00:38:36.839 --> 00:38:37.119
 ground

00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:37.480
 up.

00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:39.179
 the

00:38:39.179 --> 00:38:39.599
 reason

00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:39.819
 that

00:38:39.819 --> 00:38:40.119
 marriage

00:38:40.119 --> 00:38:40.599
 is so

00:38:40.599 --> 00:38:41.139
 painful

00:38:41.139 --> 00:38:41.659
 and yet

00:38:41.659 --> 00:38:41.899
 so

00:38:41.899 --> 00:38:42.459
 wonderful

00:38:42.459 --> 00:38:43.739
 is

00:38:43.739 --> 00:38:44.239
 because

00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:44.559
 it

00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:44.980
 reflects

00:38:44.980 --> 00:38:45.219
 the

00:38:45.219 --> 00:38:45.619
 gospel

00:38:45.619 --> 00:38:45.980
 which

00:38:45.980 --> 00:38:46.199
 is

00:38:46.199 --> 00:38:46.480
 both

00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:46.939
 painful

00:38:46.939 --> 00:38:47.339
 and

00:38:47.339 --> 00:38:47.819
 wonderful

00:38:47.819 --> 00:38:48.419
 at

00:38:48.419 --> 00:38:48.579
 the

00:38:48.579 --> 00:38:48.799
 same

00:38:48.799 --> 00:38:49.279
 time.

00:38:51.179 --> 00:38:51.819
 The

00:38:51.819 --> 00:38:52.139
 gospel

00:38:52.139 --> 00:38:52.799
 declares

00:38:52.799 --> 00:38:53.839
 to all

00:38:53.839 --> 00:38:54.319
 of us

00:38:54.319 --> 00:38:55.439
 that we

00:38:55.439 --> 00:38:55.939
 are more

00:38:55.939 --> 00:38:56.419
 sinful

00:38:56.419 --> 00:38:57.279
 and evil

00:38:57.279 --> 00:38:58.019
 and selfish

00:38:58.019 --> 00:38:58.639
 than we

00:38:58.639 --> 00:38:59.359
 would ever

00:38:59.359 --> 00:38:59.759
 ever

00:38:59.759 --> 00:39:00.399
 imagine

00:39:00.399 --> 00:39:00.959
 or allow

00:39:00.959 --> 00:39:01.299
 us to

00:39:01.299 --> 00:39:01.579
 even

00:39:01.579 --> 00:39:02.659
 think of

00:39:02.659 --> 00:39:03.019
 ourselves

00:39:03.019 --> 00:39:03.399
 in that

00:39:03.399 --> 00:39:03.719
 way.

00:39:03.719 --> 00:39:05.679
 and yet

00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:05.899
 at the

00:39:05.899 --> 00:39:06.059
 very

00:39:06.059 --> 00:39:06.419
 same

00:39:06.419 --> 00:39:07.059
 time

00:39:07.059 --> 00:39:07.879
 we

00:39:07.879 --> 00:39:08.019
 are

00:39:08.019 --> 00:39:08.219
 more

00:39:08.219 --> 00:39:08.519
 loved

00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:08.659
 and

00:39:08.659 --> 00:39:09.079
 accepted

00:39:09.079 --> 00:39:09.339
 in

00:39:09.339 --> 00:39:09.639
 Jesus

00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:10.139
 Christ

00:39:10.139 --> 00:39:10.379
 than

00:39:10.379 --> 00:39:10.500
 we

00:39:10.500 --> 00:39:10.699
 ever

00:39:10.699 --> 00:39:11.179
 dreamed

00:39:11.179 --> 00:39:11.359
 that

00:39:11.359 --> 00:39:11.480
 we

00:39:11.480 --> 00:39:11.559
 would

00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:11.799
 ever

00:39:11.799 --> 00:39:12.000
 be

00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:12.359
 loved.

00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:16.420
 And

00:39:16.420 --> 00:39:16.640
 that's

00:39:16.640 --> 00:39:16.800
 the

00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:17.140
 only

00:39:17.140 --> 00:39:17.500
 kind

00:39:17.500 --> 00:39:17.599
 of

00:39:17.599 --> 00:39:18.300
 relationship

00:39:18.300 --> 00:39:18.620
 that

00:39:18.620 --> 00:39:18.740
 will

00:39:18.740 --> 00:39:19.200
 ultimately

00:39:19.200 --> 00:39:19.780
 transform

00:39:19.780 --> 00:39:20.280
 us

00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:21.460
 because

00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:22.260
 love

00:39:22.260 --> 00:39:22.800
 without

00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:23.920
 truth

00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:24.300
 of who

00:39:24.300 --> 00:39:24.559
 we

00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:24.960
 are

00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:25.180
 is

00:39:25.180 --> 00:39:25.539
 actually

00:39:25.539 --> 00:39:26.039
 weak.

00:39:27.260 --> 00:39:27.720
 It

00:39:27.720 --> 00:39:28.300
 affirms

00:39:28.300 --> 00:39:28.840
 us

00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:29.400
 in all

00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:29.720
 of our

00:39:29.720 --> 00:39:30.039
 faults

00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:30.480
 in all

00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:30.780
 of our

00:39:30.780 --> 00:39:31.260
 failings

00:39:31.260 --> 00:39:31.539
 and there's

00:39:31.539 --> 00:39:31.720
 no

00:39:31.720 --> 00:39:32.360
 change.

00:39:33.740 --> 00:39:34.079
 Truth

00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:34.400
 without

00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:34.860
 love

00:39:34.860 --> 00:39:35.039
 is

00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:35.720
 harsh

00:39:35.720 --> 00:39:37.800
 because

00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:38.200
 it gives

00:39:38.200 --> 00:39:38.320
 us

00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:38.860
 information

00:39:38.860 --> 00:39:39.420
 we just

00:39:39.420 --> 00:39:39.860
 frankly

00:39:39.860 --> 00:39:40.300
 do not

00:39:40.300 --> 00:39:40.559
 want to

00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:40.740
 hear

00:39:40.740 --> 00:39:40.900
 and

00:39:40.900 --> 00:39:41.300
 can't

00:39:41.300 --> 00:39:41.579
 hear.

00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:42.840
 And so

00:39:42.840 --> 00:39:43.140
 it

00:39:43.140 --> 00:39:43.640
 crushes

00:39:43.640 --> 00:39:44.059
 us.

00:39:45.380 --> 00:39:45.539
 But

00:39:45.539 --> 00:39:45.920
 God's

00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:46.240
 saving

00:39:46.240 --> 00:39:46.599
 love

00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:46.900
 in

00:39:46.900 --> 00:39:47.360
 Christ

00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:47.700
 is

00:39:47.700 --> 00:39:48.000
 marked

00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:48.200
 by

00:39:48.200 --> 00:39:48.480
 both

00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:49.019
 radical

00:39:49.019 --> 00:39:49.720
 truthfulness

00:39:49.720 --> 00:39:50.099
 about

00:39:50.099 --> 00:39:50.320
 who

00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:50.539
 we

00:39:50.539 --> 00:39:51.019
 are

00:39:51.019 --> 00:39:51.880
 and

00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:52.039
 yet

00:39:52.039 --> 00:39:52.400
 also

00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:52.940
 radical

00:39:52.940 --> 00:39:53.660
 unconditional

00:39:53.660 --> 00:39:54.099
 love

00:39:54.099 --> 00:39:54.500
 commitment

00:39:54.500 --> 00:39:54.980
 to us

00:39:54.980 --> 00:39:55.180
 even

00:39:55.180 --> 00:39:55.400
 though

00:39:55.400 --> 00:39:55.599
 we

00:39:55.599 --> 00:39:55.760
 are

00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:55.920
 who

00:39:55.920 --> 00:39:56.059
 we

00:39:56.059 --> 00:39:56.300
 are.

00:39:58.579 --> 00:39:59.260
 The

00:39:59.260 --> 00:39:59.820
 merciful

00:39:59.820 --> 00:40:01.480
 commitment

00:40:01.480 --> 00:40:03.820
 strengthens

00:40:03.820 --> 00:40:04.220
 us to

00:40:04.220 --> 00:40:04.640
 see the

00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:05.200
 truth about

00:40:05.200 --> 00:40:05.599
 ourselves

00:40:05.599 --> 00:40:05.940
 and to

00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:06.320
 change.

00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:07.700
 The

00:40:07.700 --> 00:40:08.240
 conviction

00:40:08.240 --> 00:40:08.680
 and

00:40:08.680 --> 00:40:09.240
 repentance

00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:10.079
 moves us

00:40:10.079 --> 00:40:10.579
 to cling

00:40:10.579 --> 00:40:11.260
 to and

00:40:11.260 --> 00:40:11.760
 rest in

00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:12.160
 God's

00:40:12.160 --> 00:40:12.520
 mercy

00:40:12.520 --> 00:40:12.760
 and

00:40:12.760 --> 00:40:13.140
 grace

00:40:13.140 --> 00:40:13.900
 and

00:40:13.900 --> 00:40:14.380
 love.

00:40:16.840 --> 00:40:17.060
 And so

00:40:17.060 --> 00:40:17.480
 the hard

00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:17.920
 times of

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:18.300
 marriage

00:40:18.300 --> 00:40:18.940
 drive us

00:40:18.940 --> 00:40:19.680
 to experience

00:40:19.680 --> 00:40:20.420
 more of

00:40:20.420 --> 00:40:20.620
 this

00:40:20.620 --> 00:40:21.140
 transforming

00:40:21.140 --> 00:40:21.620
 love of

00:40:21.620 --> 00:40:21.960
 God

00:40:21.960 --> 00:40:23.520
 and a

00:40:23.520 --> 00:40:23.780
 good

00:40:23.780 --> 00:40:24.200
 marriage

00:40:24.200 --> 00:40:24.960
 will always

00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:25.300
 be a

00:40:25.300 --> 00:40:25.660
 place

00:40:25.660 --> 00:40:26.060
 where we

00:40:26.060 --> 00:40:26.880
 experience

00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:28.040
 this kind

00:40:28.040 --> 00:40:28.680
 of transforming

00:40:28.680 --> 00:40:29.180
 love.

00:40:29.660 --> 00:40:29.900
 We'll

00:40:29.900 --> 00:40:30.300
 experience

00:40:30.300 --> 00:40:30.800
 both.

00:40:31.260 --> 00:40:31.800
 The gospel

00:40:31.800 --> 00:40:32.280
 can fill

00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:33.040
 our hearts

00:40:33.040 --> 00:40:34.140
 with God's

00:40:34.140 --> 00:40:35.220
 love so

00:40:35.220 --> 00:40:35.760
 that we can

00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:36.280
 handle it

00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:36.640
 when our

00:40:36.640 --> 00:40:37.540
 spouse fails

00:40:37.540 --> 00:40:38.060
 to love us

00:40:38.060 --> 00:40:38.580
 as we think

00:40:38.580 --> 00:40:39.120
 they should

00:40:39.120 --> 00:40:40.140
 love us

00:40:40.139 --> 00:40:40.960
 or when

00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:41.400
 they point

00:40:41.400 --> 00:40:41.819
 out the

00:40:41.819 --> 00:40:42.279
 falls and

00:40:42.279 --> 00:40:42.400
 the

00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:42.839
 failures.

00:40:43.359 --> 00:40:43.539
 You see

00:40:43.539 --> 00:40:44.259
 the security

00:40:44.259 --> 00:40:44.639
 of God's

00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:45.179
 love means

00:40:45.179 --> 00:40:46.500
 that we

00:40:46.500 --> 00:40:47.199
 can speak

00:40:47.199 --> 00:40:47.599
 to our

00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:48.199
 spouse's

00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:48.699
 sins and

00:40:48.699 --> 00:40:49.460
 flaws

00:40:49.460 --> 00:40:50.599
 while also

00:40:50.599 --> 00:40:51.199
 loving and

00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:51.960
 accepting them

00:40:51.960 --> 00:40:52.679
 fully because

00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:53.679
 we are already

00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:54.219
 loved and

00:40:54.219 --> 00:40:54.980
 accepted fully

00:40:54.980 --> 00:40:55.559
 in Jesus.

00:40:56.659 --> 00:40:56.900
 And when

00:40:56.900 --> 00:40:57.699
 our spouse

00:40:57.699 --> 00:40:58.639
 experiences that

00:40:58.639 --> 00:40:59.500
 same kind

00:40:59.500 --> 00:41:01.940
 of truthfulness

00:41:01.940 --> 00:41:03.159
 but also

00:41:03.159 --> 00:41:04.179
 commitment to

00:41:04.179 --> 00:41:04.579
 us,

00:41:04.579 --> 00:41:05.880
 it enables

00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:06.299
 them to

00:41:06.299 --> 00:41:07.000
 show us

00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:08.319
 that same

00:41:08.319 --> 00:41:09.380
 kind of

00:41:09.380 --> 00:41:10.840
 transforming

00:41:10.840 --> 00:41:11.579
 love when

00:41:11.579 --> 00:41:13.099
 it's their

00:41:13.099 --> 00:41:14.019
 time for

00:41:14.019 --> 00:41:14.460
 it too.

00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:16.779
 That's the

00:41:16.779 --> 00:41:17.420
 profound mystery

00:41:17.420 --> 00:41:18.079
 of marriage.

00:41:18.779 --> 00:41:19.759
 It helps

00:41:19.759 --> 00:41:20.860
 us understand

00:41:20.860 --> 00:41:21.779
 the gospel

00:41:21.779 --> 00:41:23.860
 in a profound

00:41:23.860 --> 00:41:24.480
 and a deep

00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:24.840
 way.

00:41:26.420 --> 00:41:27.019
 And that's

00:41:27.019 --> 00:41:27.619
 the bedrock,

00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:28.179
 that's the

00:41:28.179 --> 00:41:28.920
 foundation,

00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:31.079
 that's the

00:41:31.079 --> 00:41:31.440
 pinnacle,

00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:33.639
 and that

00:41:33.639 --> 00:41:34.320
 foundation

00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:36.099
 then gets

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:37.280
 unpacked in

00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:38.340
 profound ways

00:41:38.340 --> 00:41:39.039
 in the coming

00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:39.460
 weeks.

00:41:39.559 --> 00:41:40.119
 And next week

00:41:40.119 --> 00:41:40.800
 we'll look at

00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:42.200
 the power

00:41:42.200 --> 00:41:43.360
 that is

00:41:43.360 --> 00:41:45.720
 needed to

00:41:45.720 --> 00:41:46.579
 live such

00:41:46.579 --> 00:41:47.099
 a marriage

00:41:47.099 --> 00:41:47.679
 relationship.