WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.879 So, there are a few things that we agree on these days as a society. 00:00:05.639 --> 00:00:09.720 There's a lot of division and disagreement, as we would probably all attest to. 00:00:10.359 --> 00:00:16.019 And yet, I would say that if we were to go out on the street right now and go to the 00:00:16.019 --> 00:00:23.740 farmer's market that's happening and start asking around, what do you think the highest 00:00:23.740 --> 00:00:27.400 ideal in society is or should be? 00:00:27.399 --> 00:00:30.779 What's the principle that should govern our lives? 00:00:30.899 --> 00:00:37.719 What's the highest principle that should shape how we live and how we do life together? 00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:45.200 I would guess that the highest principle in most people's minds, the thing that should 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:49.280 govern everything else, would probably be love. 00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:53.619 That's probably the thing that most people would say. 00:00:53.619 --> 00:00:58.619 Maybe not everybody, but probably the majority of people would say, you know, the world would 00:00:58.619 --> 00:01:04.479 be a better place if our highest governing principle was the principle of love. 00:01:05.219 --> 00:01:05.679 Right? 00:01:05.719 --> 00:01:09.359 We all agree that love matters a great deal. 00:01:10.700 --> 00:01:13.979 The question that we want to ask this morning is, what does love actually mean? 00:01:13.980 --> 00:01:18.100 Because that word is used in lots of different ways. 00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:20.760 I talk about loving God. 00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:25.359 I talk about the way I love my wife, love my kids. 00:01:25.900 --> 00:01:29.060 But I also talk about loving basketball team. 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:32.560 And I talk about loving steak and cheeseburgers. 00:01:32.800 --> 00:01:34.380 I talk about loving bourbon. 00:01:34.379 --> 00:01:40.920 And in all of those cases, love means something slightly different. 00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:47.899 And if I were to use love in one context and then apply it to a different context, talk about 00:01:47.899 --> 00:01:51.919 loving bourbon the way I talk about loving my wife, I would have serious problems. 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:53.159 Right? 00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:56.899 And so, what do we mean when we talk about love? 00:01:57.500 --> 00:01:58.759 What does love mean? 00:01:58.819 --> 00:02:02.599 We're looking at the New Testament reading primarily Romans chapter 12. 00:02:02.599 --> 00:02:08.879 And in Romans chapter 12, Paul has just laid out for 12 chapters straight this beautiful 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:15.240 description of the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it renews and transforms people. 00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:19.780 And then beginning in chapter 12, he begins to answer the question, so what? 00:02:19.859 --> 00:02:22.699 What does this mean for us in the world? 00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:30.039 And here is where he says that the clearest evidence that human beings have been renewed 00:02:30.039 --> 00:02:33.900 by the gospel is that they have genuine love. 00:02:36.099 --> 00:02:37.340 Genuine love. 00:02:38.419 --> 00:02:42.060 And the word that he uses for genuine is on hypokritos. 00:02:43.539 --> 00:02:46.259 Love that is not hypocritical. 00:02:46.659 --> 00:02:50.979 Hypokritos, that word is a Greek word and it originally meant an actor. 00:02:51.859 --> 00:02:52.000 Right? 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:56.899 So on a Greek stage, you would have actors come out and they would hold masks up in front of 00:02:56.900 --> 00:03:00.920 their faces that would have different expressions on them or represent different characters. 00:03:01.060 --> 00:03:02.480 And that was a hypokritos. 00:03:02.740 --> 00:03:08.900 And so, a hypocrite is someone who wears a mask, conceals the truth of who they really 00:03:08.900 --> 00:03:09.280 are. 00:03:09.500 --> 00:03:16.219 And so, what Paul is saying is that there are, by implication, there are versions of love 00:03:16.219 --> 00:03:19.879 out there that aren't genuine love. 00:03:19.879 --> 00:03:24.599 They look like love, but that appearance of love is a mask. 00:03:25.219 --> 00:03:28.060 And it's masking other motives. 00:03:28.379 --> 00:03:31.159 It's masking other intentions. 00:03:32.740 --> 00:03:37.199 And so, our goal, what we're going to talk about this morning is how can we tell if love 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:43.159 is genuine or if it's a mask that is concealing something else? 00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:50.340 And this section of Romans chapter 12, verses 9 to 21, it's a collection of things that Paul 00:03:50.340 --> 00:03:50.919 says. 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:54.639 And this is a form of Greek writing where he's packing a lot of ideas in here. 00:03:54.759 --> 00:03:57.620 So, it doesn't necessarily flow in a linear way. 00:03:57.740 --> 00:04:00.019 We understand it better if we look at it thematically. 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:05.000 So, we're going to pull out three themes from this text in Romans 12. 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:09.859 Three themes, three ways that we can tell if love is genuine. 00:04:09.860 --> 00:04:13.260 Three marks of genuine love. 00:04:13.520 --> 00:04:15.520 Let's pray, and then we'll open God's Word together. 00:04:17.259 --> 00:04:19.000 Lord, we thank You for Your Word. 00:04:19.080 --> 00:04:25.560 And every week, Lord, if it were just left up to us to open this text and to try to derive 00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:30.379 anything from it, Lord, it would be a hopeless task. 00:04:31.300 --> 00:04:34.319 You've not just given us Your Word, but You've given us Your Holy Spirit. 00:04:34.379 --> 00:04:39.639 And You promised that when we seek to understand Your Word, You will make it known to us. 00:04:39.639 --> 00:04:41.139 And that You will do more than that, Lord. 00:04:41.219 --> 00:04:45.259 You will nourish us, not just intellectually, but spiritually. 00:04:46.039 --> 00:04:50.180 Lord, we're here to open Your written Word, but ultimately, we're here to encounter Your 00:04:50.180 --> 00:04:51.300 living Word, Jesus Christ. 00:04:52.079 --> 00:04:54.680 May we do that by Your grace and the power of Your Spirit. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:57.399 Lord, we pray this in Jesus' name. 00:04:57.560 --> 00:04:57.779 Amen. 00:04:57.779 --> 00:04:57.859 Amen. 00:04:59.459 --> 00:05:03.319 So, three marks of genuine love. 00:05:03.419 --> 00:05:06.439 The first theme that emerges from this text is this. 00:05:06.579 --> 00:05:14.739 Genuine love has within it or is characterized by a desire to seek the highest good. 00:05:15.679 --> 00:05:22.119 A desire to seek the highest good in the life of the one we love. 00:05:22.120 --> 00:05:26.680 He says in verse 9, let love be genuine, not hypocritical. 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:33.879 And then the very next thing He says is this, abhor what is evil, hold fast to what is good. 00:05:34.060 --> 00:05:38.120 Genuine love abhors what is evil and holds fast to what is good. 00:05:38.939 --> 00:05:44.280 In other words, genuine love is defined by a passionate hatred of evil and a tenacious 00:05:44.280 --> 00:05:45.860 attachment to goodness. 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:47.840 And you say, well, what do we mean by goodness? 00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:53.179 And in this context, goodness means aligning with God's character and purposes. 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:59.639 Goodness is that which aligns with God's character and purposes. 00:06:00.899 --> 00:06:06.019 And the word here for hold fast, by the way, is a word that Paul uses in 1 Corinthians 6, 00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:08.639 but there he's talking about sexual intimacy. 00:06:10.019 --> 00:06:11.099 Hold fast. 00:06:11.100 --> 00:06:12.240 Right? 00:06:12.300 --> 00:06:18.720 So, in other words, genuine love is intimately intertwined with God's goodness. 00:06:20.340 --> 00:06:21.700 Intimately intertwined. 00:06:22.400 --> 00:06:26.379 So, we might say that genuine love has a moral aim to it. 00:06:27.100 --> 00:06:28.780 It has a moral aim to it. 00:06:29.700 --> 00:06:36.340 Back in verses 1 and 2, Paul talks about people who have been renewed in their minds by the gospel. 00:06:36.339 --> 00:06:42.899 And he says that if that happens in your life, then you're able to test and discern what is good. 00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:44.439 He says that in verses 1 and 2. 00:06:44.699 --> 00:06:46.239 And here we see why it matters. 00:06:46.339 --> 00:06:50.339 Why does it matter that people who have been renewed are able to discern what is good? 00:06:50.679 --> 00:06:58.359 Well, in order to genuinely love another person, we have to be able to discern good from evil 00:06:58.359 --> 00:07:02.079 so that we can seek the highest good in that person's life. 00:07:02.079 --> 00:07:09.300 It's necessary to be able to tell the difference between good and evil if we are to genuinely love other people. 00:07:10.419 --> 00:07:15.680 Now, I think it's worth pointing out that this is the opposite of what many people probably think of, 00:07:15.979 --> 00:07:19.419 including Christians, when we think of love. 00:07:20.659 --> 00:07:25.199 Because if you ask most people, including most Christians, what real love is, 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:28.360 most people would probably say, well, it's unconditional love. 00:07:28.360 --> 00:07:33.800 The highest form of love, the truest form of love, is unconditional love. 00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:44.759 Now, by unconditional love, what most people mean is love that is completely separate from any sense of right and wrong. 00:07:45.160 --> 00:07:49.340 Love that doesn't, by definition, have any kind of moral shape to it. 00:07:50.420 --> 00:07:52.740 Love means affirming no matter what. 00:07:52.740 --> 00:08:00.199 It means encouraging people to do what makes them happy according to what they believe is right no matter what. 00:08:00.900 --> 00:08:08.040 And the most unloving thing that one can do is to question or challenge someone else's choices in that regard. 00:08:09.180 --> 00:08:15.740 And, you know, many Christians operate this way because we have come to believe that we are called to love unconditionally. 00:08:15.740 --> 00:08:23.019 I was actually talking to a Christian woman, not a part of our church, but a Christian woman a couple of weeks ago who said that very thing. 00:08:23.079 --> 00:08:27.019 She said, well, isn't that what Christianity is ultimately about? 00:08:28.259 --> 00:08:29.379 Unconditional love. 00:08:31.220 --> 00:08:38.399 The phrase unconditional love actually never shows up in Scripture, and it was never used by the early church fathers. 00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:46.659 It was actually coined in the 1950s by Eric Frum, who was a psychoanalyst who was also an avowed atheist. 00:08:47.299 --> 00:08:58.399 But since he coined it in his book, it has captured the Western imagination, and it has devolved even from what he meant it to mean. 00:08:58.539 --> 00:09:02.519 It has kind of devolved into a kind of vapid sentimentalism. 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:08.139 So we have all of these scenarios that arise as a result of that. 00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:15.299 We have a man who wants to leave his wife and three kids because he met someone and he fell in love. 00:09:15.379 --> 00:09:18.740 And he says, I've never felt this way about anyone. 00:09:19.240 --> 00:09:22.799 Finally, I'm with someone who gets me and understands me. 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:23.960 I've never been happier. 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:33.139 And all of his friends around him say, go for it because you deserve a shot at happiness. 00:09:33.980 --> 00:09:42.240 They're well-meaning friends, and they're saying that because they believe that being a good friend means loving unconditionally. 00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:51.220 We have a 10-year-old girl who tells her parents one day that she, along with several other girls in her friend group at school, 00:09:51.659 --> 00:09:55.060 have all realized that they are actually boys trapped in girls' bodies. 00:09:55.240 --> 00:09:58.539 And she wants to start puberty blockers immediately. 00:09:59.860 --> 00:10:03.060 And her parents reach out for counsel and advice, and they're told, 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:11.879 you should love and support your child unconditionally in this transition because that's what good parents do. 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:13.700 They love unconditionally. 00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:21.460 You have a woman who's been in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic husband for years and years and years. 00:10:21.879 --> 00:10:31.320 And she goes to her church for help, and the well-meaning pastor encourages her to stay in the home and to endure the abuse 00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:34.679 because that's what unconditional love demands. 00:10:35.500 --> 00:10:41.799 Now, in all of these cases, you have very well-meaning people giving what they believe is the best advice they can give. 00:10:41.879 --> 00:10:49.539 Because in their minds, unconditional love is the highest form of love that should govern everything else. 00:10:50.939 --> 00:10:56.840 But as we consider these examples, it becomes increasingly clear that unconditional love, 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:01.799 as it is popularly understood, can actually be profoundly unloving. 00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:06.579 In fact, I would say it's not genuine love. 00:11:06.759 --> 00:11:08.299 It's counterfeit. 00:11:09.939 --> 00:11:14.859 It can lead to a lot of chaos, confusion, harm. 00:11:16.199 --> 00:11:21.240 The good news for us this morning is that God does not love unconditionally. 00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:27.860 And God does not call us to love unconditionally as it is popularly understood. 00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:29.480 Right? 00:11:29.560 --> 00:11:37.440 The word for God's love is the word hesed, which means steadfast love or unfailing love. 00:11:37.560 --> 00:11:41.039 It's love that pursues you no matter what. 00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:44.600 It's love that will never leave you no matter what. 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:49.440 It is love that flows out of God's very nature because God is love and it is always there. 00:11:49.560 --> 00:11:50.580 It is always true. 00:11:50.800 --> 00:11:51.980 It is always with you. 00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:55.139 That's the word for God's love. 00:11:55.960 --> 00:11:59.180 But God's love and God's goodness go together. 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:02.420 Within God's nature, there is love. 00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:04.399 But along with that love, there is goodness. 00:12:04.980 --> 00:12:05.759 There is justice. 00:12:06.300 --> 00:12:07.100 There is righteousness. 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:08.500 There is truth. 00:12:08.779 --> 00:12:10.879 They're all part of God's nature. 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.700 They're not in competition with one another. 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:17.100 They're facets of the same jewel. 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:25.419 So when God sees us and he sees the reality of our lives and he sees a person like me being 00:12:25.419 --> 00:12:31.820 enslaved to sin, being enslaved to idols, that is giving my life to things that aren't 00:12:31.820 --> 00:12:35.059 God and expecting them to be God for me. 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:40.700 When he sees me living in rebellion against him, when he sees me, as the Bible says, dark 00:12:40.700 --> 00:12:48.360 and in my thinking, spiritually inert and dead, alienated from the one who made me, God doesn't 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:51.700 look at me and say, well, do whatever makes you happy. 00:12:54.600 --> 00:13:01.280 If God responded that way to us, he would not only be unloving, he would be evil. 00:13:02.420 --> 00:13:04.580 That would be an evil response. 00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:12.740 God responds by entering into history, by giving his life on the cross, by atoning for sin and 00:13:12.740 --> 00:13:16.440 then calling us to repent and to come and to follow him. 00:13:16.520 --> 00:13:23.440 And he invites us to begin to learn what it means to be fully human, to be fully alive, 00:13:23.740 --> 00:13:26.740 to live for the purposes for which we were created. 00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:31.320 That's what genuine love looks like. 00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:37.500 So genuine love, first of all, if we want to understand what genuine love is, genuine love 00:13:37.500 --> 00:13:43.240 is giving of yourself in order to seek the highest good for the one that you love. 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:47.639 And that highest good is found in God. 00:13:48.539 --> 00:13:51.000 Now, this does not mean judgmentalism. 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:56.960 This could be an idea that we take and we go and we begin to pronounce judgment on the way 00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:58.139 everyone is living. 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:00.000 This does not mean judgmentalism. 00:14:00.299 --> 00:14:05.919 See, judgmentalism means looking at a person or talking about them with an attitude of condescension 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:07.799 that ultimately seeks to tear them down. 00:14:09.379 --> 00:14:11.320 But genuine love does the opposite. 00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.200 Genuine love means looking at a person, looking at their actions, 00:14:14.200 --> 00:14:22.360 with an attitude of compassion and seeking to lift them up often at your own expense. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:29.240 Seeking to see them grow in the likeness of Christ often at our own expense. 00:14:29.980 --> 00:14:33.560 Sometimes that does mean being willing to have hard conversations. 00:14:33.560 --> 00:14:37.759 Or it means being willing to hear things that we don't want to hear from other people. 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:42.040 Our gospel reading, Matthew chapter 18, Jesus addresses this very thing. 00:14:42.039 --> 00:14:46.299 But his assumption is in a loving church where there is genuine love, 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:49.620 conversations like this are going to be happening regularly. 00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:55.519 So the first point challenges us to ask this question of our own lives. 00:14:56.480 --> 00:14:58.980 What kind of friends do you want in your life? 00:15:00.379 --> 00:15:03.379 What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with? 00:15:04.279 --> 00:15:07.699 Do you want people who just pat you on the back, who just affirm you? 00:15:08.819 --> 00:15:11.599 No matter what you do, they say, I just want you to be happy. 00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:14.199 Do you want those kinds of friends? 00:15:15.079 --> 00:15:19.559 Or do you want people who are committed to seeking the highest good in your life? 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:25.120 And then think, ask yourself, what kind of friend do you want to be? 00:15:27.139 --> 00:15:29.059 What kind of friend do you want to be? 00:15:30.139 --> 00:15:34.099 You find yourself in those moments sitting across the table, 00:15:34.500 --> 00:15:37.779 and you know the thing that you should say, 00:15:37.779 --> 00:15:40.699 but you know it's going to be hard. 00:15:41.620 --> 00:15:43.779 And you know that that person might get angry and defensive. 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:47.720 And you know that it might put the friendship in jeopardy. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.539 And it's so easy to just say, well, I just want you to be happy. 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:54.220 But what kind of friend do you want to be? 00:15:55.879 --> 00:15:57.720 And do you want to genuinely love people, 00:15:57.720 --> 00:15:59.079 or do you want to just wear a mask? 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:06.560 So the first mark, I would say, of genuine love is that it seeks the highest good, 00:16:06.920 --> 00:16:09.620 often at one's own expense. 00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:14.980 The second mark of genuine love that we see in this passage is this. 00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:22.000 It's marked by a posture of what we might call humble self-forgetfulness. 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:28.960 Genuine love comes out of a posture of humble self-forgetfulness. 00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:32.240 The Apostle Paul says in verse 10, 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:34.279 love one another with a brotherly affection, 00:16:34.659 --> 00:16:36.440 outdo one another in showing honor. 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:40.179 Verse 13, contribute to the needs of the saints, 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:42.519 seek to show hospitality. 00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:46.019 Verses 15 and 16, rejoice with those who rejoice, 00:16:46.220 --> 00:16:47.240 weep with those who weep, 00:16:47.820 --> 00:16:49.379 live in harmony with one another, 00:16:49.379 --> 00:16:52.159 do not be haughty but associate with the lowly, 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.639 never be wise in your own sight. 00:16:54.679 --> 00:16:57.360 All of these convey the same idea, 00:16:57.860 --> 00:17:00.939 a profoundly other-oriented posture, 00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:06.700 a willingness to prioritize the well-being of others at your own expense. 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:12.440 I love how Eugene Peterson translates verse 10 in the message. 00:17:13.640 --> 00:17:15.240 He translates verse 10 as this, 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:17.779 be good friends who love deeply, 00:17:17.779 --> 00:17:20.460 practice playing second fiddle. 00:17:22.379 --> 00:17:25.200 I love that, practice playing second fiddle. 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:29.180 Pride is one of the greatest threats to any community, 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.960 and pride is an enemy of love. 00:17:33.539 --> 00:17:34.899 Humility, on the other hand, 00:17:35.460 --> 00:17:38.779 is the key to building a genuinely loving community. 00:17:39.460 --> 00:17:43.779 It's the key to building genuinely loving relationships in our lives. 00:17:43.779 --> 00:17:49.099 You know, C.S. Lewis famously says that humility is not thinking less of yourself. 00:17:49.339 --> 00:17:52.200 We're not talking about a community full of people with very low self-esteem. 00:17:53.420 --> 00:17:56.480 It's not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. 00:17:58.099 --> 00:17:59.279 You're self-forgetful. 00:17:59.379 --> 00:18:02.460 You're just not thinking about yourself a whole lot. 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:04.619 Now, that doesn't mean that we don't love ourselves. 00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:06.980 That doesn't mean that we don't take care of ourselves. 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:11.700 It just means that we don't spend a whole lot of time and energy, 00:18:11.819 --> 00:18:14.160 excess time and energy, thinking about ourselves. 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:22.299 And what that does is it opens us up to see and to recognize and respond to the needs around us. 00:18:23.740 --> 00:18:29.400 And again, this is the opposite of what we hear and see and are encouraged to think in our culture. 00:18:30.019 --> 00:18:32.279 Playing second fiddle is a bad thing. 00:18:32.279 --> 00:18:37.420 When people say, I was tired of playing second fiddle to him and so I left, 00:18:38.220 --> 00:18:40.160 we see that as a mark of growth. 00:18:41.139 --> 00:18:43.619 You're ready to play in the first chair. 00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:44.960 You're ready to be the star. 00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:49.980 You're taking your name and your reputation and your brand seriously. 00:18:50.579 --> 00:18:53.180 You're getting out there and making it happen for yourself. 00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:56.099 And I think we all want to be well-known. 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:58.440 We all want to be well-liked and respected and admired. 00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:03.019 And in a way, we're all out there trying to get that, trying to build a name for ourselves. 00:19:03.259 --> 00:19:09.840 The problem is, altruism, you know, doing good in the world, 00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:14.160 can actually be a way of earning praise and admiration for other people. 00:19:14.860 --> 00:19:20.180 In other words, when we commit acts of generosity, we like to be seen doing so. 00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:31.080 And so, love in a society like that, altruistic acts that look loving can actually be a mask. 00:19:31.600 --> 00:19:36.460 Instead of self-denial, love actually becomes just another vehicle for self-promotion. 00:19:38.340 --> 00:19:38.720 Right? 00:19:38.779 --> 00:19:42.120 This is what has come to be known as virtue signaling. 00:19:43.360 --> 00:19:43.480 Right? 00:19:43.720 --> 00:19:47.799 Traditionally, and maybe other cultures, people might boast about how wealthy they are. 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:49.919 They'd show off their car. 00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:51.139 They'd show off their house. 00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:54.079 They'd show off their really important fancy position. 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:55.919 Or they might boast how beautiful they are. 00:19:57.319 --> 00:20:02.879 But now, we have a much more subtle, and I would say much more cynical form of boasting that is on the rise. 00:20:02.980 --> 00:20:05.159 You have people who would never boast about their wealth. 00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:07.440 They would never boast about their beauty. 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:08.159 How tacky. 00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:09.259 I would never do that. 00:20:09.259 --> 00:20:14.339 But they will boast about the extent to which they contribute to the common good. 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:17.900 They will boast about the causes they support. 00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:21.440 They will boast about their concern for the developing world. 00:20:22.299 --> 00:20:27.119 They'll boast about the people that they stand with and the people that they stand for. 00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:36.379 And the problem is, it's really hard to tell the difference between genuine love and virtue signaling if you're looking at it from the outside. 00:20:36.899 --> 00:20:49.379 Because genuinely loving action and support for those in need can look very much the same as virtue signaling on the outside. 00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:55.620 On the inside, at a heart level, they're actually driven by opposite motives. 00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:59.000 The same action, but driven by opposite motives. 00:21:00.580 --> 00:21:04.200 Virtue signaling is actually a way to exalt ourselves. 00:21:04.440 --> 00:21:13.140 It's a way to highlight the flaws of other people who don't care as much as we do, who don't give as much as we do. 00:21:13.220 --> 00:21:15.220 And it's a way to flaunt our own superiority. 00:21:15.220 --> 00:21:21.819 It's a political performance designed to put my excellence on display. 00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:27.740 Whereas genuine love, as Paul describes it, flows out of a very different place. 00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:29.620 It flows out of humility. 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:36.319 It flows out of an honest recognition of my own faults, of my own sin. 00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:48.119 Genuine love flows out of the profound realization that Jesus Christ, as Paul says in his letter to the Philippians, was willing to empty himself. 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:54.460 He was willing to forsake all of the glory and honor that he deserves. 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:56.879 He was willing to become a servant. 00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:01.159 He was willing to become a slave to serve humanity. 00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:08.480 He was willing to endure humiliation, torture, and even death because of his love. 00:22:09.580 --> 00:22:12.200 Genuine love flows out of that realization. 00:22:13.900 --> 00:22:20.019 So here's what this means, and this can be very counterintuitive, so I want to be clear on the implications of this. 00:22:20.100 --> 00:22:22.220 Here's what this means for us as a community. 00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:33.259 A community that minimizes sin and that just focuses on doing good in the world can seem very loving on the outside. 00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:40.779 But that kind of community can very easily become a culture filled with self-righteousness, 00:22:41.660 --> 00:22:44.960 filled with judgmentalism, and filled with virtue signaling. 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:51.460 Because there are no built-in checks and balances against sin. 00:22:52.220 --> 00:22:53.940 Or against pride. 00:22:54.839 --> 00:23:00.539 And so in a culture that doesn't take sin seriously, where there's no opportunity to confess, 00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:05.620 there's no call to repent, there's just a focus on doing good in the world, 00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:11.220 it looks loving, but in reality, pride runs unchecked in a community like that. 00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:14.900 And so a community like that can actually become very unloving, 00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:19.140 very self-righteous, filled with virtue. 00:23:19.140 --> 00:23:27.660 By contrast, a community that does take sin seriously, where there is a regular opportunity to confess, 00:23:28.360 --> 00:23:31.340 where there is a call on a daily basis to repent, 00:23:32.020 --> 00:23:36.460 a community like that may look unloving on the outside. 00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:43.460 And yet, we actually see that that kind of culture paves the way for genuine love, 00:23:43.680 --> 00:23:49.440 because it fosters humility, and it fosters self-forgetfulness. 00:23:50.340 --> 00:23:55.980 Now, obviously, that can be done in a way that just becomes another form of virtue signaling, 00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:58.799 but if it's something that is actually genuinely taken seriously, 00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:03.960 and if the focus is not necessarily on other people's sin, and it's on my sin, 00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:09.740 and I'm the one going to my knees, and I'm the one confessing, and I'm the one repenting, 00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:17.680 then it can keep us over time in that place of humble self-forgetfulness, 00:24:17.980 --> 00:24:24.159 and it can lay the kind of groundwork that we need for genuine love to flourish. 00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:30.140 In a community like that, you're going to have a greater capacity for true empathy, 00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:33.860 because people are going to be attentive to the experiences and needs of others, 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:36.300 because they're not as wrapped up in their own issues. 00:24:37.180 --> 00:24:41.120 In a community like that, you're going to have a greater capacity to live in harmony together, 00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:42.160 as Paul talks about. 00:24:42.820 --> 00:24:45.540 Because in a community where I'm repenting on a daily basis, 00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:48.519 where I'm confessing on a daily basis, 00:24:49.060 --> 00:24:51.380 people are going to be much quicker to admit when they're wrong, 00:24:51.380 --> 00:24:55.000 they're going to be much quicker to forgive one another, 00:24:55.860 --> 00:24:58.800 because their pride isn't as likely to get in the way. 00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:04.640 So genuine love is marked by these two things so far, 00:25:05.860 --> 00:25:07.800 a commitment to seeking the highest good, 00:25:08.460 --> 00:25:10.380 and a posture of humble self-forgetfulness. 00:25:11.120 --> 00:25:13.760 Finally, with the few minutes that we have left, 00:25:14.300 --> 00:25:17.480 the third mark of genuine love is, 00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:22.019 genuine love is marked by a commitment to overcome evil with good. 00:25:23.019 --> 00:25:25.120 A commitment to overcome evil with good. 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:26.860 Verses 17 to 21 talk about this. 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:28.660 Repay no one evil for evil. 00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:30.480 Never avenge yourselves. 00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:32.140 If your enemy is hungry, feed him. 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.240 If thirsty, give him something to drink. 00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:37.680 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 00:25:37.779 --> 00:25:40.160 Paul is saying that a genuinely loving community 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:42.539 of people who have been renewed by the gospel 00:25:42.539 --> 00:25:46.159 is marked not only by their love for one another, 00:25:47.019 --> 00:25:50.000 not only by their love for people outside the church, 00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:53.279 but they're actually marked by love for their enemies. 00:25:54.700 --> 00:25:57.299 They're marked by love for their enemies. 00:25:58.339 --> 00:26:00.460 Now this is not, as some people say, 00:26:00.579 --> 00:26:04.639 I believe this is not a verse that you can point to 00:26:04.639 --> 00:26:07.920 as a general call to pacifism. 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:11.320 He's being much more specific here. 00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:15.480 Nor does it mean that we are called to forsake justice. 00:26:16.660 --> 00:26:18.880 It's just saying that we're not the judges. 00:26:20.380 --> 00:26:23.200 What Paul is saying is that genuine love 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:26.900 means a willingness to give up our right to retribution. 00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:30.360 To give up our right to retribution. 00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:33.660 And again, I would say this is profoundly countercultural. 00:26:33.660 --> 00:26:37.580 Because in our culture, this sounds like a recipe 00:26:37.580 --> 00:26:38.779 for living like a doormat. 00:26:40.340 --> 00:26:42.700 It's human nature that when someone wrongs you, 00:26:42.759 --> 00:26:44.019 you want to assert the boundary. 00:26:44.759 --> 00:26:47.060 And you want to do that by getting them back. 00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:49.980 You want to make them pay so they'll never do it again. 00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:52.140 You want to teach them a lesson. 00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:55.160 You want to show them that they messed with the wrong person. 00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:56.480 A lot of people have this sense 00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:58.320 that that's what it means to be a strong person, 00:26:58.920 --> 00:27:00.380 is that you teach everybody around you 00:27:00.380 --> 00:27:01.580 that nobody messes with me. 00:27:01.579 --> 00:27:05.319 Because I will revisit upon you sevenfold 00:27:05.319 --> 00:27:07.679 what you've done to me. 00:27:08.779 --> 00:27:10.579 And that's why it's so breathtaking 00:27:10.579 --> 00:27:14.740 when we see extraordinary acts of forgiveness happen. 00:27:14.939 --> 00:27:17.079 Think of the Amish at Nickel Mines 00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:18.319 when a shooter entered a school 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:20.079 and killed five little girls. 00:27:21.379 --> 00:27:23.799 Think of the shooting at the Charleston AME Church 00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:25.299 where a shooter killed nine people, 00:27:25.419 --> 00:27:26.659 including the senior pastor, 00:27:27.500 --> 00:27:28.279 and injured one. 00:27:28.279 --> 00:27:30.700 In both cases, 00:27:31.139 --> 00:27:34.720 we look at this horrific act of unprovoked violence. 00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:36.899 And in both cases, 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:40.740 the survivors and the families of the victims 00:27:40.740 --> 00:27:42.460 forgave the shooter 00:27:42.460 --> 00:27:45.399 and even surrounded and supported 00:27:45.399 --> 00:27:47.339 the families of the shooters 00:27:47.339 --> 00:27:49.279 in their grief. 00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:51.599 And so interviewers, you know, 00:27:51.639 --> 00:27:53.319 ask these communities 00:27:53.319 --> 00:27:56.200 how they could forgive such atrocities. 00:27:56.200 --> 00:27:57.860 And in both cases, 00:27:57.980 --> 00:28:00.700 these communities were deeply rooted 00:28:00.700 --> 00:28:01.920 in the truth of the gospel. 00:28:02.660 --> 00:28:04.200 They were communities that had been formed 00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:07.279 and shaped over time 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:09.480 by the truth of the gospel. 00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:12.539 Specifically, two things. 00:28:13.319 --> 00:28:15.700 Number one, the gospel tells us, 00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:17.100 it actually assures us, 00:28:17.980 --> 00:28:19.240 of God's judgment. 00:28:20.620 --> 00:28:22.240 As Paul says in verse 19, 00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:23.940 beloved, never avenge yourselves. 00:28:23.940 --> 00:28:24.620 Why? 00:28:25.100 --> 00:28:27.019 Because we should just let bygones be bygones? 00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:27.840 No. 00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:29.740 Never avenge yourselves, 00:28:29.840 --> 00:28:31.320 but leave it to the wrath of God. 00:28:32.080 --> 00:28:32.880 For it is written, 00:28:33.320 --> 00:28:34.340 vengeance is mine, 00:28:34.460 --> 00:28:35.320 I will repay, 00:28:35.820 --> 00:28:36.759 says the Lord. 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:40.279 It is because we believe in God's judgment 00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:41.720 that we are able to forgive. 00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:45.840 I used to meet with, 00:28:46.100 --> 00:28:48.100 I used to meet and work when I was a therapist 00:28:48.100 --> 00:28:49.960 with adult survivors, 00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:51.940 in some cases of abuse, 00:28:51.940 --> 00:28:53.200 of abuse, sexual abuse. 00:28:54.279 --> 00:28:55.900 And I remember sitting with somebody 00:28:55.900 --> 00:28:57.680 and she was wrestling, 00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:58.740 this is many years ago, 00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:02.240 wrestling with how this kind of thing could happen. 00:29:02.779 --> 00:29:05.559 And somehow the conversation turned to the cross. 00:29:06.620 --> 00:29:07.440 And she said, 00:29:07.580 --> 00:29:07.900 the only, 00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:11.660 there is no amount of earthly justice, 00:29:11.900 --> 00:29:12.460 there is no, 00:29:12.660 --> 00:29:15.600 nothing that we could do to this person who hurt me 00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:18.980 that would ever make up for what was done to me. 00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:22.659 But she took great comfort in the idea 00:29:22.659 --> 00:29:24.759 that there is a God who, 00:29:24.899 --> 00:29:25.740 because He is infinite, 00:29:25.899 --> 00:29:27.299 is able to bring justice, 00:29:28.099 --> 00:29:30.599 even in situations where it seems as though 00:29:30.599 --> 00:29:32.159 infinite harm has been done. 00:29:33.139 --> 00:29:35.199 That one day God will bring judgment 00:29:35.199 --> 00:29:36.859 and He will either bring it on that person 00:29:36.859 --> 00:29:39.939 or He already brought it in the form of the cross. 00:29:39.940 --> 00:29:43.220 And she took tremendous comfort in the idea 00:29:43.220 --> 00:29:45.440 that there is a right and wrong, 00:29:45.779 --> 00:29:47.880 that there is an ultimate God out there 00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:49.980 who believes that what happened to her was wrong 00:29:49.980 --> 00:29:52.200 and who intends to do something about it. 00:29:52.940 --> 00:29:54.860 It's because we believe in God's judgment 00:29:54.860 --> 00:29:56.320 that we're able to forgive, 00:29:56.860 --> 00:29:58.059 which is simply us saying, 00:29:58.700 --> 00:30:00.320 not what you did to me doesn't matter, 00:30:00.420 --> 00:30:02.180 but I'm not ultimately the judge here. 00:30:03.420 --> 00:30:04.279 God is. 00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:06.440 And on the other hand, 00:30:07.380 --> 00:30:09.480 so the gospel not only assures us of God's judgment, 00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:12.180 it also gives us a way through that judgment. 00:30:13.440 --> 00:30:15.140 Because the hard truth of the gospel is this, 00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:17.819 whatever crimes may have been committed against us, 00:30:18.099 --> 00:30:20.579 we have all committed far worse against God. 00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:23.099 And God, in this case, 00:30:23.140 --> 00:30:25.519 has every right to demand retribution. 00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.180 And yet, God chooses instead to forgive. 00:30:29.579 --> 00:30:32.200 He actually chooses to do what all forgiveness requires, 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:33.779 to absorb the debt. 00:30:35.299 --> 00:30:37.019 And we see this on the cross, 00:30:37.019 --> 00:30:39.380 the ultimate consequences of human rebellion 00:30:39.380 --> 00:30:42.480 are poured out on Jesus instead of us. 00:30:43.540 --> 00:30:45.680 And here we see what sets Christianity apart. 00:30:45.800 --> 00:30:47.900 Many religions talk about the importance of forgiveness. 00:30:50.080 --> 00:30:52.060 You should forgive because it's good for you. 00:30:52.120 --> 00:30:54.000 You should forgive because there are psychological 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:55.480 and emotional benefits to forgiveness. 00:30:55.600 --> 00:30:56.100 All true. 00:30:56.099 --> 00:31:04.819 But only Christianity says that God was willing to bear that cost of forgiveness himself. 00:31:07.159 --> 00:31:09.099 So when he calls us to forgive, 00:31:10.699 --> 00:31:15.019 he's not calling us to do anything that he has not done himself, 00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:18.299 but on an infinitely greater scale. 00:31:18.299 --> 00:31:24.460 But what this does is that it sets us free as a community from the cycle of retribution. 00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:27.220 It sets us free to love our enemies. 00:31:28.159 --> 00:31:30.180 Because while we were God's enemies, 00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:33.099 this is how he chose to love us. 00:31:35.099 --> 00:31:35.539 Right? 00:31:35.539 --> 00:31:37.839 So to bring all of this together, 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:41.119 genuine love means at least these three things, 00:31:41.240 --> 00:31:42.059 according to Paul. 00:31:42.220 --> 00:31:44.259 A desire to seek the highest good. 00:31:45.339 --> 00:31:47.759 A posture of humble self-forgetfulness. 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:51.559 And then a commitment to overcome evil with good. 00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:54.279 And I would say if our love, 00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:56.220 if you think about the way you love the people in your life, 00:31:56.299 --> 00:31:58.480 if our love lacks these characteristics, 00:31:59.419 --> 00:32:06.179 or when we encounter anyone claiming to be loving who lacks any of these characteristics, 00:32:07.259 --> 00:32:12.700 chances are that love is at least partially a mask 00:32:12.700 --> 00:32:15.500 that may be hiding other motives. 00:32:16.679 --> 00:32:17.740 It could be pride. 00:32:18.299 --> 00:32:21.500 It could be a desire for affirmation or approval. 00:32:22.059 --> 00:32:23.599 It could be a fear of conflict. 00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:25.839 It could be a political agenda. 00:32:26.899 --> 00:32:28.859 But it's worth asking questions. 00:32:29.879 --> 00:32:31.319 Not all love is the same. 00:32:32.819 --> 00:32:37.200 And if we want to become more capable of loving like this in our community, 00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:38.220 in our own lives, 00:32:38.359 --> 00:32:42.399 we need to see that this kind of love is not just the function of willpower. 00:32:42.399 --> 00:32:44.759 All that will do is put on another mask. 00:32:46.159 --> 00:32:49.740 This kind of love flows directly out of the truth and the power of the gospel. 00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:57.500 Only when we see Jesus sacrificing to seek our highest good will we be willing to do that for other people. 00:32:57.500 --> 00:33:07.519 Only when we see Jesus' posture of humility will we be humbled as we realize that's what he did for us. 00:33:08.180 --> 00:33:16.420 Only when we see Jesus overcoming evil with good as he does on the cross will we gain the strength to do the same 00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:20.640 as we face the extraordinarily hard challenges of living in a broken world. 00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:28.480 Only when we look at the cross will we gain the strength that we need to do the hard work of forgiveness and reconciliation. 00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:36.559 It's by immersing ourselves in the genuine love of Christ that we become more genuinely loving ourselves. 00:33:36.819 --> 00:33:37.360 Let's pray. 00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:43.880 Lord, we need more than mere words. 00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:47.819 We need to feel and to know your love. 00:33:47.819 --> 00:33:52.119 We ask that now as we've opened your word together, 00:33:52.819 --> 00:33:55.119 as we've meditated on its meaning for us, 00:33:55.559 --> 00:33:58.319 that your Holy Spirit would do what we cannot do, 00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:01.639 that you would press into our hearts these truths. 00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:05.279 We pray that as we come to you in prayer and in song, 00:34:05.899 --> 00:34:07.599 as we gather around your table, 00:34:08.619 --> 00:34:12.319 that you would give us the gift of your presence and your love 00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:17.200 in ways that will nurture and sustain all that is good and true and beautiful in us. 00:34:17.680 --> 00:34:22.440 We pray that that we might become a more genuinely loving people 00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:27.640 who bring glory to your name in our families, in our communities, in this city. 00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:30.559 And we ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.