WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.799 Let's read together. We're going to read from the New Testament, Acts chapter 2, and from 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:11.700 various proverbs. And so, Day Spring is going to come and read for us. 00:00:11.700 --> 00:00:15.880 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking 00:00:15.880 --> 00:00:21.519 of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were 00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:26.379 being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things 00:00:26.379 --> 00:00:31.320 in common, and they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:36.799 to all as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in 00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:41.759 their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and 00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:47.000 having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number, day by day, those who 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.480 were being saved. 00:00:49.480 --> 00:00:55.920 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Many a man proclaims 00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:01.840 his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who confined. Faithful are the wounds of a 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:11.640 friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:16.520 We are working our way through our vision and value statement and looking at the passages 00:01:16.520 --> 00:01:21.719 from which it comes. And in Acts chapter 2, we read the very end of Acts chapter 2, Day 00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:28.679 Day did for us. And there, the Holy Spirit has come down upon the city of Jerusalem, 00:01:28.679 --> 00:01:34.799 and then Peter preaches the very first sermon to the first church that's gathered. And immediately, 00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:39.840 there's repentance in the lives of people. There's baptism. There's conversion. And a 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:45.599 new community arises, a community with a new ministry, a new vision, a counterculture. 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:52.959 And so last week, we looked at this little cameo that Luke offers in verses 42 to 47. 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:59.560 It's dense. It's tightly packed. It's an encapsulation of everything that the first church was all 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:06.039 about. It's pregnant with meaning. And you can come back to it again and again and again 00:02:06.039 --> 00:02:10.159 to really ask the question, what does a healthy church look like? What are we meant to do 00:02:10.159 --> 00:02:15.400 here in the local church? And so there are five vital signs of a healthy church and five 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:21.280 ministries that we see right here in this little cameo that Luke writes. The first church, 00:02:21.280 --> 00:02:27.040 they worshiped, they were praising God together. And it says that they witnessed to other people, 00:02:27.040 --> 00:02:30.560 that they had favor with everybody in the city. And so day by day, people were coming 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:35.680 and joining them through conversion. They had theological depth. They devoted themselves 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:39.960 to the apostles' teaching. They were all about the scripture ultimately and understanding 00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:45.920 all that God has taught in it. And they showed mercy. They shared everything and they shared 00:02:45.920 --> 00:02:50.719 with anybody in the city that had need. So there were people of compassionate mercy. 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:56.680 And then it says that they had fellowship, community, deep love for one another. And 00:02:56.680 --> 00:03:02.080 so we said last week that it's about being balanced, about being all five, never just 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:08.000 one, about embracing the call to do all five of these ministries and that anytime a citywide 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:12.319 movement of the gospel, anytime a movement of the Holy Spirit is happening, the church 00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:18.400 will return to these ministries and take them up afresh. And in a time where there are not 00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:24.439 that many Christians in a place, in a city, this is exactly what we return to. We do these 00:03:24.439 --> 00:03:30.960 five things and long that God would move throughout the city of Edinburgh and many other places 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:34.879 in the United Kingdom. That's our prayer here. And so let me read our vision statement one 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:41.500 more time. One more time. We seek a citywide movement of the gospel by helping people find 00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:46.979 and follow Jesus. That's our longing for people to experience conversion, repentance, baptism 00:03:46.979 --> 00:03:53.680 through witness, to love God worship, to love one another, the ministry of fellowship, and 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:59.159 to seek the peace of the city, compassionate mercy, all because of our commitment to the 00:03:59.159 --> 00:04:04.319 theological depth that's offered us in the Bible. So there's the five ministries right 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:10.319 there built into our vision statement. And today we're thinking about fellowship, the 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:15.239 love of one another that we're called to have, the community. And so let's do that. We're 00:04:15.239 --> 00:04:20.439 going to talk, we're going to see here in Acts 2.42 in the Proverbs we read, the fact 00:04:20.439 --> 00:04:27.800 of fellowship, the life of fellowship, the practices of fellowship, the barriers to fellowship, 00:04:27.800 --> 00:04:33.959 and the power we need to really have it. That was five, not three, five things. How will 00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:41.639 we do it? We will. Five things, okay? Let's think about it. First, the fact of fellowship. 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:47.399 So the word that's used in our passage in verse 42 is the word koinaniah, and it simply 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:53.479 says that they were committed to the fellowship right there in verse 42. And then if you just 00:04:53.479 --> 00:04:59.240 look throughout the passage, the rest of it, it says right after that they were together. 00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:04.400 And then it says they were together day by day. And then it says they had everything uncommon 00:05:04.400 --> 00:05:10.280 and that they shared their stuff. And then it says again, they ate, they sat at the table 00:05:10.280 --> 00:05:16.400 together with joy. Now, in some sense, it's just very simple that what this passage tells 00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:23.360 us is that when the Holy Spirit came down upon the first church, they loved being together. 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:28.120 They were together. They were physically in the same spaces and they loved, as Dietrich 00:05:28.120 --> 00:05:33.879 Bonhoeffer coined it, sharing life together. And in some sense, it's as simple as that. 00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:38.519 That's the main point today. We could say it like this, that as soon as the Holy Spirit 00:05:38.519 --> 00:05:45.060 comes into the lives of this community, the very first thing we see is real hospitality 00:05:45.060 --> 00:05:51.280 because of friendship between Christians. It's hospitality in the midst of friendship. 00:05:51.280 --> 00:05:55.759 That's what the first church had together. And we read from the book of Proverbs, if 00:05:55.759 --> 00:06:02.240 you look across the Bible at this theme, hospitality because of friendship. One of the probably 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:06.839 most consistent ways from Genesis to Revelation that the Bible talks about the community of 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:12.719 believers is through the lens of friendship. And we read just a tiny sample, but friendship 00:06:12.719 --> 00:06:19.079 is all over the book of Proverbs. And it's right here in the midst of Acts 2, 42 to 47. 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:24.240 And one of the Proverbs that Dave read for us is, many a man professes loyalty, but who 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:37.680 can find a loyal friend? Who can find a loyal friend? The simple point, we need friends. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:43.480 Christians need friends and we were made for friendship. And you've got to have a friend, 00:06:43.480 --> 00:06:47.639 you've got to get a friend, you've got to be a friend. You've got to be intentional about 00:06:47.639 --> 00:06:53.840 friendship in the life of the church. C.S. Lewis, it's going to sound like I'm contradicting 00:06:53.839 --> 00:07:01.759 myself here. C.S. Lewis, he said, friendship is unnecessary. Like philosophy, like art, 00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:08.759 it has no survival value. And that's exactly right. Like philosophy, like art in your home, 00:07:08.759 --> 00:07:13.000 art has no survival value. In other words, you don't need it to live. What are the relationships 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:17.959 in our lives that are survival relationships? There's got to be husbands and wives. There's 00:07:17.959 --> 00:07:23.039 got to be babies. There's got to be children for the human race to carry forward. That's 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:30.120 a survival relationship. There's got to be employers and employees. We need that to survive 00:07:30.120 --> 00:07:37.280 for the market to move, right? There's got to be pastors and congregants for the church 00:07:37.280 --> 00:07:43.000 to exist. It's part of the way Jesus structured it. But friendship is one of those things 00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:48.160 that you don't have to have. And what happens in a time like ours, the 21st century and 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:53.439 the year 2024, we are all very busy, busier than we ever thought we would be in life. 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:59.520 And the very first thing that goes for us is friendship. It's the very first relationship 00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:05.440 that we set to the side because it's not survival relationship. And Lewis goes on, he says, 00:08:05.440 --> 00:08:12.280 friendship has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to 00:08:12.280 --> 00:08:17.760 your survival. Like art, like philosophy, you know, you don't need art, but boy, what 00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:23.599 would life be like without it? And you don't need friendship, but yet you have to have 00:08:23.599 --> 00:08:32.120 it to thrive, not just to survive. And the Proverbs tell us many a person professes loyalty. 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:37.319 You know, you have lots of Facebook friends. That's professional loyalty. But who can find 00:08:37.319 --> 00:08:42.120 a real friend? It's very difficult. It's very difficult to find a real friend. And I don't 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:48.039 think it's ever been harder. Taylor is not singing very many songs about friendship. 00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:53.879 They're all about romance. Romance is the thing we talk about, not friendship, but friendship 00:08:53.879 --> 00:09:00.120 is the thing from the beginning that we actually need the most. The best marriage is a friendship. 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:04.039 Brothers are at their best not just by family bonds, but when they're friends. Sisters are 00:09:04.039 --> 00:09:08.639 at their best not when it's just familial, but when they're friends. Friendship is the 00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:15.360 relationship that gives the most value to all of life. And so Acts 2, 42 to 47, it is 00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:23.039 the normal program of the local church to be friends. And I think the thing we're learning 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:28.679 here is that we all need a friend. We all need intentional friendship building. So get 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:37.039 a friend. It's that easy. Get a friend. Read the Bible together with a Christian friend. 00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:41.360 Stay with one another and for one another and talk to each other about your Christian 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:47.199 lives. It's the normal program of life in the church. It's where the most pastoral care 00:09:47.199 --> 00:09:53.120 in the most discipleship should take place is within the bounds of Christian friendship. 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:58.639 Secondly, let's back up just a little bit and think about the life of fellowship. What 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:02.519 does fellowship in general look like? Just to take one step back and then we'll come 00:10:02.519 --> 00:10:08.360 back to the specifics of friendship. Koinonia, this famous word, the fellowship. The very 00:10:08.360 --> 00:10:14.039 first thing we see here in verse 42 is they devoted themselves to the fellowship. And 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:18.919 the reason the word the, the definite article is there, we mentioned this last week, is 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:25.639 because it's referencing the gathering of the Christians on a Sunday. The fellowship. 00:10:25.639 --> 00:10:30.600 It's the formal gathering in worship in this space right here. We're doing it right now. 00:10:30.600 --> 00:10:35.000 Back, number one, we've done it. We're here at the fellowship. And so that means that 00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:41.320 the very first thing we learn is fellowship is the commitment to being together in worship 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:46.519 and then letting everything else flow from that. So the very first thing, the way a Christian 00:10:46.519 --> 00:10:52.159 structures their whole life, the first church did is out of this space. Sundays is the starting 00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:57.519 point for everything, for the meaning of your week and the meaning of all relationships. 00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:02.319 It starts right here. That's the very first thing we learn. It's a bit cheesy to us, I 00:11:02.319 --> 00:11:08.480 think, but when you read the rest of the New Testament, the way that Paul talks about fellow 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:14.159 Christians is he says, brother and sister. And I think there's an invitation here. You 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:20.000 might, you might have to break through a cultural barrier to turn to somebody and say, brother 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.879 and sister. But that's exactly the way the New Testament talks about it. Now I'm not 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:27.759 saying you have to walk around at the end of the service or in tea and coffee and say, 00:11:27.759 --> 00:11:32.919 hey brother, hey sister. No, but say it in your heart. Say it in your heart. That's the 00:11:32.919 --> 00:11:38.600 invitation I think we're being given here. Secondly, a four general things. In verse 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:46.120 44, it says that in the fellowship, they were together. Everybody who believed was together. 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:50.240 Now this word, when you look at the word that's used here together in the rest of the New 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:55.519 Testament, including in the book of Acts, it typically doesn't just mean physical presence, 00:11:55.519 --> 00:12:03.120 though that's very true. It's referring here to being together with the same vision. So 00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:08.720 it's talking about shoulder to shoulder togetherness. And that's where friendship really arises 00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:13.759 is when you find somebody that will stand shoulder to shoulder with you, looking out at the same 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:18.320 object, looking out at the same thing, pursuing the same vision and the same hope. And so 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:26.120 fellowship, real fellowship is being shoulder to shoulder and for one another, for one another, 00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:31.360 because you share a similar vision and mission. You long for the same things to take place. 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:36.760 And so in Acts four, just a couple of chapters later, this happens again in the exact same 00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:41.680 way. The spirit comes down, a citywide movement of the gospel starts, and then Acts four, 00:12:41.680 --> 00:12:48.000 verse 32, the full number of those who believed, and here's the word, were of one heart and 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:54.159 mind. That's the word, same the same concept as together. They were together because they 00:12:54.159 --> 00:12:59.480 were focused on the same goal, the same vision, they were shoulder to shoulder in it. And here 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:04.639 we learned that they were so together that they weren't precious about their stuff. In 00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:10.759 other words, friendship arises Christian friendship and real fellowship when you share a mission 00:13:10.759 --> 00:13:17.559 that's way beyond the two of you. A vision so great that you live for something so big, 00:13:17.559 --> 00:13:22.439 the mission of the kingdom that you turn to the person and say, wow, we're for the same 00:13:22.439 --> 00:13:33.839 things. One of the reasons I really miss having Derek around is because we were unlikely 00:13:33.839 --> 00:13:38.319 friends. You know, this is exactly Derek is the, if you're new here, Derek is the former 00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:48.280 minister and Derek is an older man relative to me, right? Scottish. I'm a younger man 00:13:48.280 --> 00:13:56.960 relative to him at least. And I'm American. You might have picked up on that. And I loved 00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:00.879 working with Derek because we were friends. You see, when you're standing shoulder to 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:06.360 shoulder looking at the same vision, the same mission, you become friends with one another 00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:10.279 for something much bigger than yourselves. And that's exactly what we had in exactly 00:14:10.279 --> 00:14:17.360 what our staff team now has as well. The third thing is a coin in the word the fellowship 00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:22.800 and the rest of the New Testament. What we see if you just do this in 30 seconds, if 00:14:22.800 --> 00:14:27.159 you look at this idea throughout the rest of the New Testament, real fellowship, real 00:14:27.159 --> 00:14:32.519 Christian friendship breaks through all the normal barriers in a culture. And so in the 00:14:32.519 --> 00:14:37.559 book of Galatians, Paul writes to the apostle Paul writes to the Galatians about the apostle 00:14:37.559 --> 00:14:44.319 Peter. Peter had had table fellowship and friendship with the Gentiles. And he had broken 00:14:44.319 --> 00:14:50.799 that. And Paul says, you who once sat down in friendship with Gentiles now refuse to 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:55.480 do so. And he's saying, you know, you had a racial barrier, a religious barrier, a cultural 00:14:55.480 --> 00:15:00.159 barrier, and you've forgotten that that real fellowship is breaking through barriers for 00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:05.719 unlikely friendships. Who would imagine that Derek and I would have ever been friends in 00:15:05.719 --> 00:15:11.360 another life? And in the same way, you may have experienced that when Christ comes into 00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:16.199 your life, the call to fellowship and friendship is to break through barriers that you didn't 00:15:16.199 --> 00:15:22.319 expect older and younger together. Different races that would have been separate in the 00:15:22.319 --> 00:15:29.759 past at times together, different classes together. In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul gets 00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:34.759 on to the Corinthians, some of them, the rich ones, because they were coming to the Lord's 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:41.080 Supper and eating the Lord's Supper and forgetting about the poor. And he said, rich Christians 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:45.319 and Corinth, you are eating the Lord's Supper and the poor being neglected, not even being 00:15:45.319 --> 00:15:49.679 allowed to the Lord's Supper, to the Holy Feast. And he said, you've forgotten what 00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:55.879 real fellowship is. Fourth and finally, in verse 46, it says that they received their 00:15:55.879 --> 00:16:01.679 food. They came to the table together and they had glad and generous hearts. Here's a way 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:07.399 to summarize it all. Real Christian fellowship, loving one another, expresses itself in sitting 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:12.960 around the table and laughing together. Real fellowship is just friendship that results 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:18.080 in laughter because of a shared vision, the mission of God, the mission of the kingdom. 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.840 They got around the table together and they laughed. Now, we all need this. There's a 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:30.480 cosmic dimension to this. There's a reality that this friendship, the friendship between 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:37.080 believers is answering the question, who am I and what am I for? And there are undoubtedly 00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:42.360 some here today, all of us at different times in life that have struggled with loneliness. 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:46.440 And it's important just to say, not being able to spend too much time on loneliness 00:16:46.440 --> 00:16:52.320 today, what we learn here is that this is exactly what we were made for. In the very 00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:58.960 beginning in Genesis chapter two, God created Adam and then he said, it is not good that 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:06.080 Adam should be alone. And so he created Eve. And that wasn't simply for romantic relationship. 00:17:06.080 --> 00:17:10.840 That wasn't just for marriage. That was a statement that there's not a single one of 00:17:10.840 --> 00:17:16.480 us that was made to ever be alone. We were made for friendship. And one writer puts it 00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:21.799 like this, Adam wasn't longing for a companion. Adam was not longing for a companion because 00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:29.799 he was imperfect, but because he was perfect. The ache for friends is not the result of 00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:36.200 sin. The ache for sin, for the ache for sin, the ache for friends, for table fellowship, 00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:43.000 for laughter, to walk beside one another is exactly what you were made for. We need friends. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:48.319 We need deep meaningful friendship here. Third, the specific practices of Christian friendship. 00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:51.399 Let's dive a little deeper into that. This fellowship, what does it look like? And I'll 00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:56.840 just list these for us because they're really apparent, really obvious, I think. First Thessalonians 00:17:56.840 --> 00:18:04.440 511, Paul says, encourage one another and build one another up. The first thing we're 00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:09.519 told here is encouragement. That's what a Christian friendship looks like. Secondly, 00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:14.880 first John 1.7, if we walk in the light as he is in the light, then we have fellowship 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:22.800 with one another. That's a little more subtle, but what John is saying is that we need Christian 00:18:22.800 --> 00:18:27.240 friendship and fellowship to keep us walking in the light. We need somebody who will come 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:32.760 alongside us and speak the truth to us in love, to keep us walking in the light. And 00:18:32.760 --> 00:18:39.040 the only person that can do that for you meaningfully, really, is a close friend, a Christian friend 00:18:39.040 --> 00:18:42.880 who has walked alongside you for years. We need that. We need somebody to help us walk 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:51.600 in the light. Galatians 6.2, bear one another's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ. A Christian 00:18:51.600 --> 00:18:56.320 friendship is somebody who bears the weight of your burdens with you, who weeps with you 00:18:56.320 --> 00:19:00.960 when you're weeping, who celebrates with you when you're celebrating. And so here's the 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:05.120 formula. What does a Christian friendship look like in the life of our church? What 00:19:05.120 --> 00:19:09.040 do we long for here? We long that every single person would have a deep relationship with 00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:15.200 somebody else, maybe here, maybe in another Christian community where you would get together 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:22.159 regularly and intentionally, pray for one another, encourage one another, comfort one 00:19:22.159 --> 00:19:28.119 another and bear one another's pain, celebrate with the other person when they're celebrating, 00:19:28.119 --> 00:19:32.759 and that that should be totally normal, the normal pastoral care and practice of the life 00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:39.000 of the local church. A friend, Proverbs 7.17, we read, David read for us, a friend loves 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:46.440 at all times, but a brother is born for adversity. Let's sum it up like this. A friend loves 00:19:46.440 --> 00:19:56.319 at all times a brother is born for adversity. Family is born. Family is there for when you're 00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:02.400 struggling, for when bad circumstances come your way. A good family runs to you whenever 00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:07.080 you're really struggling, whenever the terrible news comes into your life. A brother is born 00:20:07.080 --> 00:20:13.800 for adversity. A friend loves at all times, meaning what? As one writer puts it, friends 00:20:13.800 --> 00:20:20.360 are people who actually like you and want to be around you. That's what that means. 00:20:20.360 --> 00:20:26.080 A brother has to be there when that person in your life, when you lose that person, when 00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:31.400 the news comes, when the cancer hits, a brother is born for those times of adversity. That's 00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:36.440 blood, but a friend is a person who actually wants to be around you, who actually likes 00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:42.040 you. Friends are always there, and that means that you have in a friend a band of brothers, 00:20:42.040 --> 00:20:47.400 a band of sisters who actually want to come together and walk with you closely, day by 00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:54.560 day, intimately. Jonathan loved David as his own soul, he said. Their souls were knit together. 00:20:54.560 --> 00:21:00.080 Great relationships are friendships. And so friendship elevates every relationship we 00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:06.319 have into maximal goodness. Brothers to brothers, sisters to sisters, wives and husbands, and 00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:12.720 just people who are friends. Friendship elevates every relationship. Not easy to find. Proverbs 00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:19.679 18, 24, how modern is this line from the book of Proverbs? A man, a person of many companions 00:21:19.679 --> 00:21:25.480 will come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. A person will, 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:32.480 of many, many friends will come to ruin. A person who relies only on online relationships. 00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:38.480 A person who counts on the many, many followers they have on Instagram or TikTok or wherever. 00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:42.759 A person who has tons of companions, but nobody walking close with them, they will come to 00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:47.759 ruin. But a friend sticks closer than even a brother does. That's what Proverbs tells 00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:55.680 us. Fourth, the barriers. Let me give you four quickly. How does this happen? We've looked 00:21:55.680 --> 00:22:03.960 at that, but how does this get ruined? The first, I think, is that we can ruin the possibility 00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:12.000 of real relationships here by being closed off to friendship from the get-go. Remember, 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:16.759 how do you develop Christian friendship? You stand shoulder to shoulder with the same vision, 00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:23.879 the same hope, the same goal, the same mission in front of your eyes. We can be closed off 00:22:23.879 --> 00:22:29.000 if we're not walking together in the same mission, the same vision. In some sense, one 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:34.680 of the first things to say is just to mortify, to crucify, to put away passivity and to say, 00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:39.680 I need a friend. I don't have yet in my life this type of friendship, and I want to pursue 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:45.799 it. I want to look for it. The second thing that kills the possibility of friendship is 00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:52.119 competition. I don't know if you've read the book The Count of Monte Cristo, one of the 00:22:52.119 --> 00:23:01.200 great stories of the modern age, Alexander Dumas book, and in it, Edmund Dantes. He's 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:07.079 due to be married in the morning to a woman named Mercedes, and by the evening of the 00:23:07.079 --> 00:23:14.079 same day, he's locked away in prison for life in solitary confinement in the Chateau d'Ith, 00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:20.759 in Island Fortress, all because his two closest friends were jealous of him. One because of 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:26.000 his love of Mercedes, the other because he was going to be promoted to be the ship captain 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:31.559 of the ship that they both worked on. And from in a 24-hour sequence, they destroyed 00:23:31.559 --> 00:23:38.720 his life. They said, we were friends, but they became Judas, and the book is about the 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:45.720 utter rot of envy that can crush all relationships, that can take everything away from us. Proverbs 00:23:45.720 --> 00:23:51.240 14.30, envy makes the bones rot. And so one of the things that can destroy relationships 00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:57.000 in the life of our church is jealous competition, is envy. And one of the things we can do is 00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:04.440 realize, boy, that inclination is deeper in every one of our hearts than we realize. 00:24:04.440 --> 00:24:11.480 It's there to some degree. And envy is simply wanting what God has not given us that we 00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:20.279 see in the life of another person instead of wanting both God and their good. It's sacrificing 00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:25.960 our love for God and our love for our friend because we want what God has not yet given 00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:31.680 us but given them. And envy can make the bones rot. It can take away the possibility of all 00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:37.400 relationships in your life. The third, what kills friendship? What kills fellowship? The 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:42.320 sins of speech. So if you look across the rest of the New Testament, particularly the 00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:48.480 book of James, James chapter two and three, it's the sins of our mouth, our tongue that 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:53.320 can crush relationships and friendships. In Acts chapter five, just a few chapters after 00:24:53.320 --> 00:25:00.799 this, Ananias and Sapphira lie to the apostles in the first church. And they spread a lie 00:25:00.799 --> 00:25:05.720 throughout the community of faith and they're judged for it and they're condemned. And God 00:25:05.720 --> 00:25:13.639 shows you that a lie can actually rip a church apart. And gossip can destroy, slander can 00:25:13.639 --> 00:25:20.919 destroy. And one of the things that's amazingly helpful is if you open up the Westminster Confession 00:25:20.919 --> 00:25:26.319 of Faith, larger catechism, this is the confession that our church subscribes to our elders 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:32.480 and our deacons, questions one, 23 and following on the 10 commandments. Let me just read to 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:36.960 you a few of the things that it says the 10 commandments cause us towards and our relationships 00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:43.599 to one another. These are amazing. When talking to older, more mature Christians in the room, 00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:50.359 the confession says express love and tenderness toward the younger and the new believers like 00:25:50.359 --> 00:25:56.519 the tenderness that you would have towards your own children as biological parents. Always 00:25:56.519 --> 00:26:02.399 before them. And then it writes on the duties of all of us to one another, have reverence 00:26:02.399 --> 00:26:09.319 and honor and word and behavior, pray for one another, thank God for every person in 00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:15.399 the church, rejoice. How about this one? Rejoice for each other's gifts and achievements in 00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:23.120 life. Be ready to bear with the sins of others and be reconciled to all quickly. Preserve 00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:28.519 and promote the good name of one another. Show charitable esteem for all loving, desiring 00:26:28.519 --> 00:26:37.840 and rejoicing everyone's good qualities. Fourth, what kills friendship? Contempt. Grudge-bearing. 00:26:37.840 --> 00:26:43.120 Holding grievances, letting sinful anger and hatred, frustration to be buried and buried 00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:50.599 until it spills over and breaks relationships. And so lastly here, Proverbs 27, 17, as iron 00:26:50.599 --> 00:26:57.000 sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. How? How does one person sharpen another person 00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:03.399 in the life of the local church? Proverbs 27, 6, blessed are the wounds of a friend, 00:27:03.399 --> 00:27:10.599 but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. It's saying it's much better, far better, to have 00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:19.639 a dear friend in your life who will cut you with the scalpel of truth because they love 00:27:19.639 --> 00:27:25.599 you so much in order to heal you and pursue your good than to have a thousand kisses on 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:30.919 your cheek from an enemy. That enemy's flatter, but real friends speak the truth and love. 00:27:30.919 --> 00:27:37.799 That's the paradigm we see. All right, let me summarize. Let's bring it home. Friends 00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:45.359 are much, much harder to have than enemies. It is so easy for us to have enemies. And 00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:49.839 in the modern world, there's never been an easier time to multiply enemies and never 00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:55.639 have a real friend. I don't know if you've come across this term. It's a little shocking, 00:27:55.639 --> 00:28:00.919 a little gripping when you first hear it, but the New York Times writer in 2009, Tim 00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:09.440 Crider coined the term outrage pornography. And he defined this concept as the narcotic 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:15.360 drug of always needing to have an enemy. And this is what he said. He said, in a time of 00:28:15.360 --> 00:28:22.279 an overload of bad news, there's an addiction to finding something always to be angry about. 00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:27.440 And a Harvard Business Review article that was written after that said that outrage makes 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:32.440 a ton of money. And it is the main driver of returning to social media day in and day 00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:39.799 out. We don't realize it, but the urgency to find our next enemy. The next thing to 00:28:39.799 --> 00:28:43.960 be mad about, the next thing to be outraged about is more of a driver than friendship 00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:53.200 in the modern world. The Christian life is the opposite to love one another. Slow to anger, 00:28:53.200 --> 00:29:01.680 abounding instead fast love, never in a hurry, a lifelong relationship of discipleship through 00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:09.200 friendship, encouragement, patience, trust, persistence, commitment, bearing with one 00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:16.160 another. Where will we get the power? Where will we get the power to have relationships 00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:22.319 like this in the life of the local church? I think I would be remiss if I didn't mention 00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:29.319 the greatest friendship in all of modern literature before we come to a close. It was Frodo Baggins' 00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:34.720 birthday last week. I don't know if you knew that. And the greatest friendship in all of 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:40.960 modern literature is the friendship between Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins. Frodo and 00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:49.240 the Lord of the Rings was in deep despair. And he said, in a time of depression, lowliness, 00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:55.599 he said to Sam, I can't do this, Sam. I can't carry the ring to Mordor. And Sam said, I 00:29:55.599 --> 00:30:02.640 know, it's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here, but we are. It's like in the 00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:08.640 great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered, full of darkness and danger they 00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:14.640 were. And sometimes you didn't know, you didn't want to know the end because the end, how 00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:20.080 could it be? It could never be happy. How could the world go back to the way it once was when 00:30:20.080 --> 00:30:27.440 so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even 00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:32.520 darkness must pass, Mr. Frodo. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine 00:30:32.520 --> 00:30:38.120 out the clear. Those were the stories, Frodo, that stuck with you. They meant something, 00:30:38.120 --> 00:30:42.920 even if you're too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, now I do understand. 00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:49.200 I know now, folk in those stories have lots of chances to turn back, to give up. Only 00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:54.519 they didn't because they were holding on to something. What are we holding on to, Sam? 00:30:54.519 --> 00:30:59.519 Frodo asked, that there's some good left in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting 00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:05.560 for. Great friendship is when somebody in the Christian faith comes alongside you and says, 00:31:05.560 --> 00:31:11.560 the darkness, the shadow is passing. There is still something worth fighting for. Keep 00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:19.799 the faith. You need a friend. And the only way that we can be friends like that is to 00:31:19.799 --> 00:31:25.559 see the great examples of friendship in the Bible. And as we close, let's think about 00:31:25.559 --> 00:31:31.519 this. There are great examples of friendship between women in the Bible, like Ruth and 00:31:31.519 --> 00:31:39.319 Naomi. Ruth clung to Naomi. An unexpected friendship, a big age gap, and said, where 00:31:39.319 --> 00:31:46.079 you go, I will go. David and Jonathan clung to one another. One of the moments of that 00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:53.119 first Samuel 18, Jonathan was meant to be the king after Saul because he's his son. 00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:58.399 By blood, it's Jonathan's throne room. It's Jonathan's throne. And in first Samuel 18, 00:31:58.399 --> 00:32:05.960 Jonathan, the heir of the throne, the true son of the king. He took off his royal robe. 00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:12.200 He took off his belt. He took off his sword. And he laid it down before David. And he said 00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:18.480 to David, I will give my kingship to you. I will give away my right as son of the king 00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:24.279 to be king because I know that God has called you to be king. And David's soul was knit 00:32:24.279 --> 00:32:31.240 to Jonathan. In John chapter 15, Jesus Christ looked out at his followers, his disciples, 00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:37.200 his apostles, and he said, today in the shadow of the cross, I no longer simply call you 00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:42.880 my servant. I'll call you a friend. What is friendship? Jesus said, greater love has 00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:47.359 no one than this than to give your life away for a friend. That's friendship. That's true 00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:53.319 love. Just before that, Jesus has said to Peter, Peter, will you give your life away 00:32:53.319 --> 00:33:01.759 for me? And Peter said, yes, I will. I would love to give my life for you. I would love, 00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:08.960 Peter said, to be your friend, Jesus. And you remember what happened in the Garden of 00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:15.279 Gassimini. You know, Jesus said, friends, will you stay awake and watch for me so I 00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:21.480 can pray? And they fell asleep. And then right after that, as soon as he was taken to trial, 00:33:21.480 --> 00:33:28.440 Peter ran away. And every single one of them ran away. Now look, it is one thing to be 00:33:28.440 --> 00:33:34.920 a friend of somebody like Jonathan, or Jonathan to David, David to Jonathan, Ruth, Naomi, 00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:39.680 Naomi to Ruth, somebody who clings to you and you cling to them and they say, I'm for 00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:46.279 you, I'm with you, I'm not going anywhere. That's one thing. Jesus Christ turned to a 00:33:46.279 --> 00:33:54.319 bunch of treacherous men, cowards they were, and said, today I call you friend. It's one 00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:59.240 thing to be committed to somebody who's committed to you. But Jesus was so committed to call 00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:03.200 friends to people who rebelled against him, who ran away from him, who hated him, who 00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:09.840 left him to die. What a friend we have in Jesus. Where do you get the power to be a friend 00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:13.400 like that? Do you want a friend like that? How could you become a friend like that? It's 00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:19.320 only when you're able to say, I was not the friend of Jesus Christ, but he said, you are 00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:24.519 my friend. It's only when you look up at the cross and realize in that moment, I ran away, 00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:30.840 but Jesus said, I want to be your friend. That's where you'll get the power. The power 00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:36.960 to be a community more and more that lays down our lives for one another and loves one another, 00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:43.960 deeply is this. What a friend we have in Jesus.