WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.820 Good evening, everybody. 00:00:03.940 --> 00:00:11.779 Last night, I heard word, the people who live in our basement let us know that there was 00:00:11.779 --> 00:00:12.220 a leak. 00:00:12.700 --> 00:00:15.780 It was a minor leak, plumbing issue of some kind. 00:00:16.620 --> 00:00:20.240 And so my wife said, well, it sounds like there's a leak in the basement, should I call 00:00:20.240 --> 00:00:20.620 a plumber? 00:00:22.140 --> 00:00:25.199 I kind of thought for a minute and said, I can fix it. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:30.280 And so I grabbed my tools, you know, out of this kind of Home Depot kit that I have, 00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:33.259 and I grabbed my laptop so that I could watch YouTube videos. 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:38.700 And armed with those two things, I went down into the basement and started tinkering around 00:00:38.700 --> 00:00:42.500 and kind of got my tools out and started trying to go to work on this little leak. 00:00:42.980 --> 00:00:48.539 And suffice to say, about 10 minutes later, I literally had a geyser of water spraying straight 00:00:48.539 --> 00:00:52.379 up in the air and filling this room where we have a bunch of boxes stored. 00:00:52.380 --> 00:00:56.859 And I'm yelling up the stairs for Laura to call an emergency plumber right now, you know, 00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:57.440 call 911. 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:00.680 And it turns out I don't know anything about plumbing. 00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:06.219 And we realized this, you know, and it was interesting to have that experience and then 00:01:06.219 --> 00:01:11.260 to be thinking in the aftermath as I'm kind of drying off and cleaning up the mess, that 00:01:11.260 --> 00:01:17.320 it may sound ridiculous, but there was this tiny little voice in me that said, does this 00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:22.719 mean that you're less of a man because you couldn't fix the plumbing issue? 00:01:23.659 --> 00:01:27.039 And sure as day, there was a part of me that said, that's ridiculous, but there was this 00:01:27.039 --> 00:01:29.559 little voice that said, yeah, does this mean you're less of a man? 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:35.679 And it's interesting as we think as Christians, what does it mean to be a man or to be a woman 00:01:35.679 --> 00:01:36.859 if we're a Christian? 00:01:36.979 --> 00:01:40.859 Is there some way that Christians think differently about gender? 00:01:40.859 --> 00:01:48.079 This is a topic along with race and social class that we've been considering together 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.039 over the last few weeks. 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.859 We've been allowing God's Word to guide us as we navigate some pretty tricky water. 00:01:55.140 --> 00:02:00.519 Paul lived in a culture very much like we do where there were a lot of distorted ideas 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:02.799 about race and class and gender. 00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:07.319 And there was a prayer that was very commonly prayed by Jewish men that said, 00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:10.039 Blessed be God that He did not make me a Gentile. 00:02:10.439 --> 00:02:13.900 Blessed be God that He did not make me ignorant or a slave. 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:16.979 Blessed be God that He did not make me a woman. 00:02:17.879 --> 00:02:23.740 These are the distortions that were present, a very clear sense of hierarchy and value when 00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:25.699 it comes to these descriptors of human identity. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:30.620 Now, here's how Paul responds to that in our passage that we're going to focus on tonight, 00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:34.359 Galatians 3, verses 26, 27, and 28. 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:34.820 He says, 00:02:34.940 --> 00:02:39.380 In Christ Jesus, you all are sons of God through faith. 00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:44.760 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 00:02:45.220 --> 00:02:46.720 There's neither Jew nor Greek. 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:48.180 There's neither slave nor free. 00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:53.760 There is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:56.320 So what Paul is saying is this. 00:02:56.540 --> 00:02:59.880 The gospel is not just about getting saved from sin. 00:02:59.879 --> 00:03:07.680 The gospel is God's way of building a worldwide family through Jesus Christ. 00:03:08.019 --> 00:03:17.199 Where all of our differences remain, race, class, gender, they remain and yet they no longer 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:18.240 define us. 00:03:18.819 --> 00:03:20.840 They're no longer a source of division. 00:03:20.840 --> 00:03:29.860 They remain only as a testament or a picture, a beautiful tapestry of God's limitless creativity. 00:03:31.140 --> 00:03:34.939 And so we've already looked at race and we've already looked at class. 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:40.500 And so today we're going to focus a bit on this very massive topic of gender. 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:44.300 And there's a lot of ways that we could go with this. 00:03:44.300 --> 00:03:51.160 We're going to specifically focus on the plight of women a lot more than men because the passage 00:03:51.160 --> 00:03:56.740 is really about the fact that there are no second-class citizens in the kingdom of God. 00:03:57.460 --> 00:04:02.680 And if anyone throughout history has been treated like a second-class citizen when it comes to 00:04:02.680 --> 00:04:03.520 gender, it's women. 00:04:04.020 --> 00:04:09.480 If you look at the history of violence and oppression and injustice, the Me Too movement 00:04:09.479 --> 00:04:13.840 is raising awareness about that in a very crucial way right now. 00:04:13.979 --> 00:04:16.060 We have the reality of sex trafficking. 00:04:16.659 --> 00:04:21.199 We still have upwards of 5,000 honor killings every year. 00:04:22.019 --> 00:04:25.860 We have workplace inequality and all of the statistics around that. 00:04:25.980 --> 00:04:28.420 And so this requires our attention. 00:04:29.599 --> 00:04:32.420 And so we're going to ask, what does the gospel have to say about this? 00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:34.279 And a couple of caveats before we dive in. 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:38.819 Caveat number one, just as I've said before, this is a massive topic. 00:04:38.819 --> 00:04:43.459 So I'm going to confine myself to what Paul is saying in Galatians chapter 3. 00:04:43.740 --> 00:04:47.060 So this is very clearly not about marriage or marriage roles. 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:51.540 This is very clearly not about ministry or ministry roles, although it has implications 00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:52.420 for those things. 00:04:52.540 --> 00:04:54.719 That's not Paul's focus here. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:58.740 And the second caveat is I realize that I'm a man. 00:04:59.779 --> 00:05:05.039 And all that that represents for me to stand up here and sort of explain gender. 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:07.039 And so that's not my goal. 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:13.420 My hope is actually that we all would turn our attention to God's word and that we would 00:05:13.420 --> 00:05:15.420 all sit under God's word. 00:05:15.500 --> 00:05:21.080 I want to share a little bit with you about what has come from me trying to sit under these 00:05:21.080 --> 00:05:24.220 words over the last several weeks. 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:30.480 And I think that if it says what I believe it says, it offers us a kind of hope, men and 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:32.540 women, that we're not going to find anywhere else. 00:05:33.020 --> 00:05:34.800 So we're going to break this into three parts. 00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:39.740 We're going to look at first how the gospel transformed gender in society, did things 00:05:39.740 --> 00:05:40.920 that nobody had ever seen before. 00:05:41.340 --> 00:05:44.759 Then we're going to ask what made this transformation possible. 00:05:45.259 --> 00:05:50.080 And then finally, we're going to look at a few implications for the church here in D.C. 00:05:50.139 --> 00:05:50.660 Let's pray. 00:05:50.660 --> 00:05:58.860 Lord, we thank you for your word and we thank you that we're not limited to sit and contemplate 00:05:58.860 --> 00:06:03.240 this in our own wisdom, but rather your word has power. 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:08.400 And your word is the word that created this world out of chaos. 00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:14.019 And so, Lord, we pray that you would recreate us, that you would use your word to kindle 00:06:14.019 --> 00:06:19.599 our imagination, to see possibilities that may go beyond what we can imagine without you, 00:06:20.279 --> 00:06:23.620 that you would give us hope, that you would convict us, that you would do your work in 00:06:23.620 --> 00:06:23.819 us. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:25.419 We pray this in your son's name. 00:06:25.819 --> 00:06:26.120 Amen. 00:06:27.279 --> 00:06:31.979 So we're going to ask first, how did the gospel transform gender in society? 00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:35.960 In order to do that, I've got to give you a little context about the Greco-Roman world 00:06:35.960 --> 00:06:40.280 when Paul began to preach this message that he received from Jesus. 00:06:40.900 --> 00:06:46.060 There were kind of two poles when it came to how people thought about gender, two extremes 00:06:46.060 --> 00:06:48.600 actually not unlike our culture today. 00:06:49.060 --> 00:06:55.800 On the one hand, you had the Greco-Roman world, Roman society, and Roman society was very 00:06:55.800 --> 00:06:56.600 hierarchical. 00:06:57.180 --> 00:06:59.740 It was intensely patriarchal. 00:06:59.740 --> 00:07:06.040 Ideas like gender equality or universal human rights simply did not exist in this world. 00:07:06.740 --> 00:07:11.800 So freeborn women, although they could be citizens, were not allowed to hold political office. 00:07:11.960 --> 00:07:13.319 They were not allowed to vote. 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:20.360 Aristotle's thinking was very influential in this culture, and Aristotle taught that true 00:07:20.360 --> 00:07:26.759 friendship between men and women was simply not possible because he taught that women were 00:07:26.759 --> 00:07:32.240 inferior to men, and true friendship is only possible between equals. 00:07:32.699 --> 00:07:38.259 And so when Aristotle talks about friendship, he specifically means men being friends with 00:07:38.259 --> 00:07:38.740 men. 00:07:39.259 --> 00:07:45.519 He also taught that in the household, husbands should rule over their wives. 00:07:45.599 --> 00:07:49.199 They should rule over their children and over their slaves. 00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:54.000 And the role of a wife was to be silent and to obey. 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:59.240 It's interesting when you think about the kind of caricature of fundamentalist conservative 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:07.159 Christianity and the teaching there on marriage, it actually sounds a lot like the Roman Aristotelian 00:08:07.159 --> 00:08:10.079 approach to marriage rather than the Christian one. 00:08:10.579 --> 00:08:12.099 Women should be silent and obey. 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:13.000 This is Aristotle. 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:18.839 When it came to sexual ethics, brace yourselves, there was a double standard. 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:27.680 For men, and it's hard to get into this mentality, or maybe not so hard, it may not be as unfamiliar 00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:34.340 as we like to think, masculine identity was defined and expressed in terms of dominance. 00:08:34.340 --> 00:08:42.780 So if you were able to show your power, show your ability to dominate others, that made you a man's 00:08:42.780 --> 00:08:43.160 man. 00:08:43.700 --> 00:08:49.300 And so sex was a way to dominate others and to show your power. 00:08:49.759 --> 00:08:58.120 So freeborn men could have sex with their wives, although that is actually downplayed and 00:08:58.120 --> 00:09:00.320 denigrated by the poets and the philosophers. 00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:07.220 That was seen as a kind of civic duty, you know, to make sure to repopulate Rome. 00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:09.180 And so you could do that. 00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:10.260 It was sort of your civic duty. 00:09:10.580 --> 00:09:13.660 You could have sex with the high-end courtesans, the heteroi. 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.160 You could have sex with the brothel prostitutes. 00:09:16.400 --> 00:09:19.900 You could, of course, have sex with your slaves because slaves were property. 00:09:20.020 --> 00:09:20.740 They weren't even people. 00:09:20.820 --> 00:09:22.660 You could do whatever you wanted to your slaves. 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:27.780 And it was just assumed that men would be having sex with all of these varieties of people. 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:30.220 For women, it was quite different. 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:35.780 Female sexual purity was highly guarded, right? 00:09:35.820 --> 00:09:39.960 So again, not unlike the conservative Christian stereotype, right? 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:43.600 A very high purity culture when it comes to women. 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:47.740 And these women were thus very sheltered. 00:09:47.800 --> 00:09:50.600 They grew up freeborn women, very sheltered lives. 00:09:51.260 --> 00:09:54.360 There was no concept in this world of consent. 00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:59.820 As we talk a lot about today, no concept of consent in the Roman world. 00:10:00.680 --> 00:10:09.259 In fact, when a woman was raped, the concern over the rape from the male perspective was not so much the trauma. 00:10:09.259 --> 00:10:13.559 It was the fact that the woman had been spoiled. 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:18.080 She was no longer a virgin and was not desirable for marriage. 00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:21.319 So this is the kind of culture that we're dealing with. 00:10:21.320 --> 00:10:27.100 So on the one hand, you have the Roman world, which is intensely hierarchical and patriarchal. 00:10:27.520 --> 00:10:30.680 On the other end, you have the Gnostic religions. 00:10:31.580 --> 00:10:32.620 And they're very mysterious. 00:10:32.800 --> 00:10:36.320 And it's hard to make too many statements about all of the Gnostic religions. 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:38.060 It's a variety of the mystery religions. 00:10:38.220 --> 00:10:46.240 But one of the prominent teachings in Gnosticism was the idea that the ideal for gender would be to flatten it. 00:10:46.420 --> 00:10:47.860 In other words, to do away with it. 00:10:48.100 --> 00:10:51.320 To collapse everyone into a kind of androgyny. 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:52.340 Right? 00:10:52.400 --> 00:10:58.980 Or more specifically, the hope was that women, the highest ideal for women is that they could become men. 00:10:59.640 --> 00:11:01.400 Because women were seen as incomplete. 00:11:01.640 --> 00:11:04.140 And so a woman's great hope was to become like a man. 00:11:04.139 --> 00:11:09.860 And again, debatable how similar that is to some of the ways we operate today. 00:11:10.360 --> 00:11:15.939 But the last line of the Gospel of Thomas, which is a Gnostic text, says this. 00:11:16.580 --> 00:11:21.199 For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven. 00:11:22.580 --> 00:11:23.000 Right? 00:11:23.100 --> 00:11:24.360 So this is the thinking. 00:11:24.620 --> 00:11:27.600 So the poll on one end, intense patriarchy. 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:31.159 On the other end, do away with gender altogether. 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:36.879 And in the midst of this, this society begins to emerge. 00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:42.939 The Christian church that is radically different than anything the world has ever seen before. 00:11:43.079 --> 00:11:46.179 And the Gospel began to do what the Gospel always does. 00:11:46.439 --> 00:11:48.439 It challenged people on this side. 00:11:48.620 --> 00:11:50.719 And it challenged people on this side. 00:11:50.939 --> 00:11:52.539 It made everybody a bit angry. 00:11:52.759 --> 00:11:54.799 And it offered something infinitely better. 00:11:55.459 --> 00:11:57.139 And this is what we began to see. 00:11:57.139 --> 00:12:01.220 We began to see that on the one hand, Christians challenged the Roman hierarchy. 00:12:01.819 --> 00:12:04.399 This idea of the inferiority of women. 00:12:04.580 --> 00:12:10.460 They taught that, as Genesis 127 says, God created men and women as equals. 00:12:11.799 --> 00:12:14.639 And yet they also challenged the Gnostics. 00:12:14.740 --> 00:12:20.639 They rejected this idea that women and men should be collapsed into some sort of androgynous, 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:24.899 non-gendered form of humanity. 00:12:24.899 --> 00:12:31.699 They believed that maleness and femaleness were two equal and yet very distinct ways of being human. 00:12:32.819 --> 00:12:38.279 They taught that women alongside men reflect the glory of God in unique ways. 00:12:38.639 --> 00:12:44.500 It is an equal and yet overlapping and distinct way of expressing God's glory in the world. 00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:53.460 And by the way, this teaching, as we said last week, is the foundation for universal human rights. 00:12:53.460 --> 00:12:59.540 The reason people, even very secular people in the West, believe in human rights for all people 00:12:59.540 --> 00:13:04.180 is because the Christians taught that God created everyone in His image. 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:06.019 And so everyone deserves dignity. 00:13:06.820 --> 00:13:06.920 Right? 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:10.480 So these are some of the changes that we began to see in the Christian community. 00:13:10.800 --> 00:13:12.040 I'll just give you a few more. 00:13:12.400 --> 00:13:16.759 Christianity also introduced the entire concept of consent and covenant 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:20.120 when it came to male-female relationships. 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:26.759 In Roman society, a husband, as I said before, could sleep with whomever he chose, more or less, 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:28.379 except for maybe free-born women. 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:33.480 A woman, if you were married or unmarried, it didn't matter, couldn't sleep with anybody. 00:13:34.379 --> 00:13:40.980 And Paul then comes along, realizes this is happening, and he says in 1 Corinthians 7.4, 00:13:40.980 --> 00:13:45.100 not only do husbands have authority over their wives' bodies, 00:13:45.420 --> 00:13:49.019 but he says that wives also have authority over their husbands' bodies. 00:13:49.899 --> 00:13:52.120 So he's saying very clearly to the men, 00:13:52.940 --> 00:13:57.940 now that you're a follower of Jesus, it's no longer okay for you to sleep with the courtesans. 00:13:58.060 --> 00:13:59.539 You can't sleep with the prostitutes. 00:13:59.620 --> 00:14:01.420 You can't sleep with your slaves. 00:14:02.060 --> 00:14:05.159 You have to be faithful to this covenant that you've made with your wife. 00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:06.039 And guess what? 00:14:06.719 --> 00:14:09.120 Whatever you desire to do with your body, 00:14:09.379 --> 00:14:13.039 your wife has the final word on whether or not you can do that. 00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:16.360 Now, to us, that sounds like common sense, 00:14:16.500 --> 00:14:18.139 but we have to understand how radical, 00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:23.600 how profoundly equalizing this would have been in the world that Paul was writing into. 00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:27.679 So beyond that, we have, in the following centuries, 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:33.039 Christians greatly expanded protection for slaves and women. 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:37.339 You know, Rodney Stark, who I like to mention from time to time as a historical sociologist, 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:42.559 he says that the church grew explosively in the first few centuries, 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:49.679 that in the first century, Christians made up 0.002% of the population. 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:56.579 And in 300 years, Christians made up 56% of the population. 00:14:57.639 --> 00:15:00.839 That is unheard of, that kind of growth. 00:15:00.840 --> 00:15:07.540 And it is largely explained by the fact that women flocked to the church, 00:15:08.160 --> 00:15:10.600 as well as slaves and eunuchs, 00:15:10.920 --> 00:15:12.379 people who didn't have rights, 00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:17.740 people who were treated with disrespect or disdain in other parts of the world. 00:15:17.860 --> 00:15:19.899 They flocked to the church because for the first time anywhere, 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:22.180 they were treated with dignity and respect, 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:23.500 and they were cared for. 00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:28.279 Also, for the first time, again, very radical, 00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:32.440 singleness was not only dignified, 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:36.480 but it was actually held up as the ideal life. 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:37.960 Right? 00:15:38.139 --> 00:15:40.620 That, you know, and in the Roman world, 00:15:40.740 --> 00:15:42.799 if you were, say, a widow, 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:46.080 and your husband had died in battle or something, 00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:50.139 the Roman government required that you remarry within two years, 00:15:50.520 --> 00:15:55.000 lest you become a drag on the common resources of society. 00:15:55.379 --> 00:15:56.620 And so they would fine you 00:15:56.620 --> 00:15:59.680 if you didn't remarry within two years of being a widow. 00:16:00.060 --> 00:16:01.740 The Christians saw all these widows, 00:16:01.780 --> 00:16:03.700 and they said, you can come into the church, 00:16:03.820 --> 00:16:06.700 and if you want to remarry, we'll help you do that. 00:16:06.740 --> 00:16:08.680 If you want to stay single for the rest of your life, 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:10.040 you can do that as well. 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:11.500 Regardless, we will take care of you. 00:16:11.780 --> 00:16:12.759 We will be your family. 00:16:12.759 --> 00:16:15.819 And this is why you see so many instructions in the New Testament 00:16:15.819 --> 00:16:17.139 about care for widows, 00:16:17.179 --> 00:16:19.159 because they had a ton of widows 00:16:19.159 --> 00:16:21.840 who came because of how well they were treated. 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:24.419 So see, these are some of the changes 00:16:24.419 --> 00:16:27.279 that the Christian community began to introduce, 00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:29.639 and it's all as a result of their faith. 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:31.840 And so we want to turn our attention to that. 00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.080 What made this transformation possible? 00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:39.100 And the answer is the gospel made it possible 00:16:39.100 --> 00:16:42.080 precisely because the gospel does two things. 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:46.180 The gospel shows us what it means to be human, 00:16:46.580 --> 00:16:49.879 and then it restores to us our humanity. 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.040 And I want to look a little more into that. 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.860 The Bible tells us that human beings were created, 00:16:56.980 --> 00:17:00.240 as I said before, to reflect God's glory in the world. 00:17:01.180 --> 00:17:02.980 That's what it means to be a human being. 00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:05.019 You reflect God's glory. 00:17:05.460 --> 00:17:08.759 But human beings were not content with that role, 00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:11.079 and human beings gave in to the temptation. 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:13.220 We see this in Genesis 3, 00:17:13.619 --> 00:17:15.799 to seek to become like God. 00:17:16.299 --> 00:17:17.779 We want our own glory. 00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:21.299 We want our own definition of right and wrong. 00:17:21.419 --> 00:17:22.720 We don't want to reflect glory. 00:17:23.199 --> 00:17:24.779 We want to be the glory. 00:17:25.419 --> 00:17:27.399 And as a result of that rebellion, 00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:29.839 there was a brokenness that entered 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.779 into our relationship with God. 00:17:31.879 --> 00:17:35.439 We were created to love and to serve God, 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:37.400 but as a result of our rebellion, 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:40.340 we got locked into a power struggle with God, 00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:42.059 vying for control, 00:17:42.460 --> 00:17:46.480 denying God in the world that He made. 00:17:46.740 --> 00:17:49.259 And that's very important to understand that 00:17:49.259 --> 00:17:52.640 because it impacts the relationship between people, 00:17:52.740 --> 00:17:53.620 between men and women. 00:17:54.420 --> 00:17:54.759 Right? 00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:56.500 We got locked into a power struggle with God, 00:17:56.580 --> 00:17:58.160 and then what is the result of that? 00:17:58.220 --> 00:17:59.799 What's the consequence of that? 00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:01.919 Well, Genesis 3, 16, 00:18:02.059 --> 00:18:04.539 God describes the fallout of the fall, 00:18:04.619 --> 00:18:05.799 and here's what He says to Eve. 00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:08.599 As a result of this sin, this rebellion, 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:11.740 your desire shall be to dominate your husband. 00:18:11.899 --> 00:18:14.000 That's what the language actually means. 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:16.039 Your desire shall be to dominate your husband, 00:18:16.399 --> 00:18:18.500 but he shall rule over you. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:22.740 Now, what does that language imply? 00:18:22.740 --> 00:18:27.759 Man, woman, you were created as equals 00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:29.319 to serve alongside each other, 00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:32.700 to care for all the world that God had made, 00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:35.660 but now as a result of your sin, 00:18:36.039 --> 00:18:38.880 you will be locked in a power struggle with one another, 00:18:39.460 --> 00:18:41.120 a power struggle for dominance. 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:43.099 You'll want to dominate Him. 00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:44.700 He'll want to rule over you. 00:18:45.420 --> 00:18:46.839 And so what we need to see 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.220 is that there is a deep and profound connection 00:18:49.220 --> 00:18:52.819 between the relationship that we have with God, 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:53.960 the vertical relationship, 00:18:54.200 --> 00:18:56.860 and the relationships that we have with one another. 00:18:58.600 --> 00:19:01.059 We got locked into a power struggle with God, 00:19:01.460 --> 00:19:03.259 and as a result, 00:19:04.539 --> 00:19:06.799 our horizontal relationships themselves 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:08.860 have now become power struggles. 00:19:09.539 --> 00:19:11.559 And this is how the Bible would explain 00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:14.420 the intense patriarchy of Rome. 00:19:14.539 --> 00:19:16.900 It's Genesis 3, 16 playing out. 00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:18.660 This is how the Bible would explain 00:19:18.660 --> 00:19:20.620 all of the myriad issues 00:19:20.620 --> 00:19:22.600 regarding gender relationships 00:19:22.600 --> 00:19:23.840 that we deal with today, 00:19:23.900 --> 00:19:25.240 not just in marriage, 00:19:25.580 --> 00:19:27.380 but all of the issues. 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:28.320 But I can assure you 00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:29.700 that those of you here who are married, 00:19:30.360 --> 00:19:31.660 the language of power struggle 00:19:31.660 --> 00:19:32.820 is probably familiar. 00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:34.700 Right? 00:19:34.820 --> 00:19:36.640 So the problem in our world 00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:37.620 when it comes to gender 00:19:37.620 --> 00:19:39.500 is not just toxic masculinity, 00:19:39.640 --> 00:19:41.019 although that's a major issue. 00:19:41.320 --> 00:19:43.500 It's not just restrictive, 00:19:43.800 --> 00:19:45.900 socially constructed gender stereotypes. 00:19:45.900 --> 00:19:49.300 It's not just biased institutional corruption. 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:51.519 All of these are very real issues. 00:19:51.620 --> 00:19:52.680 We're not denying that. 00:19:52.900 --> 00:19:53.780 The problem is, 00:19:54.060 --> 00:19:56.140 all of those are surface level issues. 00:19:57.080 --> 00:19:59.900 They don't get down to the heart of the problem, 00:19:59.980 --> 00:20:01.160 the core of the problem. 00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:05.120 The power struggle between us and one another 00:20:05.120 --> 00:20:07.140 is the result of the power struggle 00:20:07.140 --> 00:20:08.720 between human beings and God. 00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:10.660 And so this is the principle 00:20:10.660 --> 00:20:11.940 that you see show up again and again 00:20:11.940 --> 00:20:12.640 and again in Scripture. 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:14.940 Before we can deal with the horizontal, 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:17.620 before we can experience healing here, 00:20:17.820 --> 00:20:19.460 we have to experience healing 00:20:19.460 --> 00:20:21.460 in the vertical relationship with God. 00:20:21.540 --> 00:20:22.740 It has to begin there. 00:20:24.340 --> 00:20:25.600 And this is where the gospel 00:20:25.600 --> 00:20:27.720 becomes such good news. 00:20:28.340 --> 00:20:29.800 Because the gospel says 00:20:29.800 --> 00:20:31.700 that God was able to overcome 00:20:31.700 --> 00:20:33.380 the power struggle with human beings. 00:20:33.540 --> 00:20:34.700 But how does God do that? 00:20:37.900 --> 00:20:39.080 Not by force. 00:20:40.540 --> 00:20:41.880 Not by coercion. 00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:46.180 He lets us win. 00:20:48.520 --> 00:20:49.120 He says, 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:49.940 no more power struggle. 00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:51.960 I'm not going to fight you. 00:20:54.360 --> 00:20:55.460 And Jesus Christ, 00:20:55.560 --> 00:20:56.759 who had all the privilege, 00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:57.600 all the power, 00:20:57.740 --> 00:20:58.480 all the glory, 00:20:59.900 --> 00:21:01.060 gets all of it away, 00:21:02.460 --> 00:21:03.940 lays himself out, 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.759 allows himself to be mocked and tortured, 00:21:07.460 --> 00:21:09.120 allows himself to be executed. 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:12.039 He lets us win. 00:21:12.500 --> 00:21:12.599 Right? 00:21:12.659 --> 00:21:13.539 If you're God, 00:21:13.719 --> 00:21:15.299 and you're trying to love people 00:21:15.299 --> 00:21:16.679 whom you have made, 00:21:17.379 --> 00:21:18.479 and they hate you 00:21:18.479 --> 00:21:20.000 and want to supplant you, 00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.119 and they want you dead, 00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:23.259 they want you gone, 00:21:23.699 --> 00:21:24.959 how do you love people 00:21:24.959 --> 00:21:26.019 who want to kill you? 00:21:26.699 --> 00:21:28.159 How do you save people 00:21:28.159 --> 00:21:29.319 who want to kill you? 00:21:29.439 --> 00:21:31.239 This is the brilliance of the gospel. 00:21:31.479 --> 00:21:32.419 How do you do that? 00:21:33.239 --> 00:21:34.579 There's only one way you can do it. 00:21:34.579 --> 00:21:38.779 You allow them to kill you, 00:21:38.899 --> 00:21:41.039 and then you make your death 00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:42.419 the means of their salvation. 00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:45.199 That's the brilliance of the gospel. 00:21:46.339 --> 00:21:48.799 That's how God overcomes the power struggle. 00:21:49.339 --> 00:21:52.019 And so as a result of Jesus' death on the cross, 00:21:52.399 --> 00:21:53.199 God is able, 00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:54.439 because of his death, 00:21:54.619 --> 00:21:56.339 to forgive all of our sin. 00:21:56.339 --> 00:21:58.959 And this invitation goes out 00:21:58.959 --> 00:22:00.139 from the resurrected Jesus 00:22:00.139 --> 00:22:01.659 that anyone who comes to him 00:22:01.659 --> 00:22:03.740 can receive forgiveness 00:22:03.740 --> 00:22:05.159 and be restored to God. 00:22:05.240 --> 00:22:07.039 The power struggle has been overcome. 00:22:07.299 --> 00:22:08.139 You can be forgiven 00:22:08.139 --> 00:22:09.839 and reenter the world 00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:11.379 and the life of love 00:22:11.379 --> 00:22:12.579 and being loved 00:22:12.579 --> 00:22:15.359 and serving the God who made you. 00:22:16.500 --> 00:22:18.199 And so to all of those people 00:22:18.199 --> 00:22:20.199 who have become followers of Jesus, 00:22:20.399 --> 00:22:21.759 this is what Paul says. 00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:24.659 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ 00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:26.000 have put on Christ. 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:27.680 There's neither Jew nor Greek. 00:22:27.820 --> 00:22:29.019 There's neither slave nor free. 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:30.460 There's no male and female, 00:22:30.600 --> 00:22:33.180 for you're all one in Christ Jesus. 00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:35.080 The reason that Christians 00:22:35.080 --> 00:22:37.140 had such a profoundly different view 00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:39.360 of race and class and gender 00:22:39.360 --> 00:22:40.960 is because they had a different view 00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:42.180 of what it means to be human. 00:22:44.259 --> 00:22:46.580 It's because they had ceased 00:22:46.580 --> 00:22:49.040 to be defined by their race 00:22:49.040 --> 00:22:50.700 or their class or their gender. 00:22:50.820 --> 00:22:51.680 Those things matter. 00:22:52.019 --> 00:22:52.680 They're important. 00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:55.799 But they no longer defined them. 00:22:56.340 --> 00:22:57.580 What defined them 00:22:57.580 --> 00:22:58.860 was the identity 00:22:58.860 --> 00:23:00.320 that they gained in Jesus Christ. 00:23:01.060 --> 00:23:02.840 And that began to transform 00:23:02.840 --> 00:23:04.660 not just the vertical relationship 00:23:04.660 --> 00:23:06.880 but all of the horizontal relationships. 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:08.220 They began to see one another 00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:10.519 in a completely different light. 00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:12.200 Right? 00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:14.220 No more status hierarchies. 00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:17.440 No more superior, inferior, 00:23:17.799 --> 00:23:20.259 one family of equals before God. 00:23:20.420 --> 00:23:21.660 All one in Christ. 00:23:21.660 --> 00:23:24.600 And so because God overcame 00:23:24.600 --> 00:23:26.140 His power struggle with us 00:23:26.140 --> 00:23:27.820 through sacrificial love, 00:23:28.560 --> 00:23:31.160 that shows us 00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:32.240 that there's only one way 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:33.300 we can overcome 00:23:33.300 --> 00:23:34.380 the power struggles 00:23:34.380 --> 00:23:35.759 that exist between us, 00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:37.019 between human beings, 00:23:37.120 --> 00:23:38.400 between men and women 00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:39.680 as we vie for dominance 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:40.259 in the world. 00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:43.040 The only thing that will overcome it 00:23:43.040 --> 00:23:44.000 is sacrificial love. 00:23:44.840 --> 00:23:45.519 And you say, 00:23:45.600 --> 00:23:46.259 well, how do we know that? 00:23:46.279 --> 00:23:46.980 And what's interesting is 00:23:46.980 --> 00:23:47.920 we actually see that 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:48.720 laid out in Scripture. 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:51.100 There's this great place 00:23:51.100 --> 00:23:53.120 in Ephesians chapter 5 00:23:53.120 --> 00:23:54.500 where Paul is describing 00:23:54.500 --> 00:23:56.539 the Christian community. 00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:57.819 He's describing and giving 00:23:57.819 --> 00:23:58.779 all of the characteristics 00:23:58.779 --> 00:24:00.140 of a joyful, 00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:01.559 worshiping community 00:24:01.559 --> 00:24:02.240 of men and women 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:03.200 who belong to Christ. 00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:04.380 And at the very end 00:24:04.380 --> 00:24:05.460 of that general section, 00:24:05.539 --> 00:24:06.259 before he begins 00:24:06.259 --> 00:24:07.000 to get specific, 00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:08.380 before he begins 00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:09.420 to talk about marriage 00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:10.400 and work and children 00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:11.140 and all of that, 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:12.180 there's this place 00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:13.299 in Ephesians 5.21 00:24:13.299 --> 00:24:14.700 where Paul describes 00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:16.480 all men and women 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:17.220 and how they relate 00:24:17.220 --> 00:24:17.819 to one another. 00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:18.980 And he says this, 00:24:19.339 --> 00:24:20.720 that Christian men and women, 00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:22.359 instead of the power struggle, 00:24:23.139 --> 00:24:24.919 should always be submitting 00:24:24.919 --> 00:24:25.680 to one another 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:27.000 out of reverence for Christ. 00:24:27.419 --> 00:24:29.119 You know what Jesus did for you? 00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:30.639 Now do that for one another. 00:24:30.740 --> 00:24:31.539 That's what he's saying. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:32.299 It's the reversal 00:24:32.299 --> 00:24:33.259 of the power struggle. 00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:34.779 See, submission here 00:24:34.779 --> 00:24:36.960 means to put your self-interest aside 00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:38.740 and to seek the flourishing 00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:39.480 of the other. 00:24:40.139 --> 00:24:40.879 It's saying, 00:24:41.220 --> 00:24:41.680 I'm going to put 00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:42.539 my preferences 00:24:42.539 --> 00:24:43.400 and my needs aside 00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:44.640 and I'm going to build you up. 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:46.440 So Paul is saying, 00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:48.060 here's the way Christian men 00:24:48.060 --> 00:24:48.740 and women relate 00:24:48.740 --> 00:24:49.320 to one another. 00:24:50.660 --> 00:24:51.440 Christian men 00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:52.900 put their self-interest aside 00:24:52.900 --> 00:24:54.360 and they build women up. 00:24:55.860 --> 00:24:56.000 All right? 00:24:56.080 --> 00:24:56.680 Christian women 00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:57.940 put their self-interest aside 00:24:57.940 --> 00:24:59.400 and they build men up. 00:24:59.420 --> 00:25:00.160 And what he's saying is, 00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:02.019 gender doesn't have to be 00:25:02.019 --> 00:25:03.799 a zero-sum game. 00:25:04.259 --> 00:25:05.299 It doesn't have to be 00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:06.440 winner-take-all. 00:25:08.120 --> 00:25:09.940 We build one another up in love. 00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:11.440 We sacrificially love 00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:11.779 one another 00:25:11.779 --> 00:25:13.059 as Christ has loved us. 00:25:14.100 --> 00:25:15.279 Now, we've got to take this 00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.299 with the time we have left 00:25:16.299 --> 00:25:17.420 and begin to turn this 00:25:17.420 --> 00:25:18.840 into implications. 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.320 What can we draw from this 00:25:20.320 --> 00:25:21.220 as we think about 00:25:21.220 --> 00:25:22.019 our life together 00:25:22.019 --> 00:25:24.039 as this church in D.C.? 00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:25.200 And I want to say, 00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:25.400 you know, 00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:26.360 if you're not a Christian, 00:25:26.460 --> 00:25:27.200 some of this will probably 00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:28.559 not apply to you 00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:29.140 and that's okay. 00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:29.880 So I'm really going to 00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:30.840 specifically talk 00:25:30.840 --> 00:25:31.880 to Christians here 00:25:31.880 --> 00:25:32.360 for a minute, 00:25:32.700 --> 00:25:33.680 but I just want to consider 00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:34.580 a few implications. 00:25:36.080 --> 00:25:36.820 Number one, 00:25:37.600 --> 00:25:39.259 we have to talk about 00:25:39.259 --> 00:25:40.900 the Me Too movement, 00:25:41.379 --> 00:25:42.400 which has done 00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:43.700 an enormous amount of good 00:25:43.700 --> 00:25:45.879 drawing our attention 00:25:45.879 --> 00:25:48.000 again and again and again 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:48.859 to the reality 00:25:48.859 --> 00:25:50.359 of sexual violence 00:25:50.359 --> 00:25:52.720 that continues, right? 00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:53.920 The Lieutenant Governor 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:54.460 of Virginia, 00:25:54.660 --> 00:25:55.299 the latest, 00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:57.160 two allegations 00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:58.420 against him, 00:25:58.759 --> 00:25:59.519 Justin Fairfax, 00:25:59.940 --> 00:26:02.200 but just a litany, right? 00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:04.000 One after another. 00:26:04.099 --> 00:26:04.420 It feels like 00:26:04.420 --> 00:26:05.339 almost every day. 00:26:05.439 --> 00:26:06.099 And what this has done 00:26:06.099 --> 00:26:07.599 is it has made us 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:08.699 profoundly aware 00:26:08.699 --> 00:26:09.839 such that hopefully 00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:11.220 we can't ever forget 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:12.799 that this is happening. 00:26:13.939 --> 00:26:15.039 And so as Christians, 00:26:15.139 --> 00:26:16.019 we not only need 00:26:16.019 --> 00:26:16.980 to recognize that, 00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:18.199 but we need to recognize 00:26:18.199 --> 00:26:22.419 that many of these atrocities, 00:26:22.779 --> 00:26:23.659 many of these sins 00:26:23.659 --> 00:26:24.519 have been committed 00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:25.519 not outside the church 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:26.480 but inside the church. 00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:29.720 And so we as the church 00:26:29.720 --> 00:26:30.779 and we specifically 00:26:30.779 --> 00:26:31.980 as Christian men 00:26:31.980 --> 00:26:32.980 in the church, 00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:34.059 we need to repent. 00:26:35.339 --> 00:26:36.639 We need to confess. 00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:39.000 We need to beg God 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:39.579 for forgiveness. 00:26:39.919 --> 00:26:41.299 The church should be, 00:26:42.179 --> 00:26:44.099 if you're a woman, 00:26:44.259 --> 00:26:44.839 especially if you're 00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:46.559 a survivor of sexual abuse, 00:26:46.899 --> 00:26:47.879 the church should be 00:26:47.879 --> 00:26:49.759 the safest place there is. 00:26:51.659 --> 00:26:52.899 Your pastor should be 00:26:52.899 --> 00:26:54.299 the safest person there is. 00:26:55.199 --> 00:26:56.439 Often that's not the case. 00:26:57.139 --> 00:26:58.639 We need to just recognize that. 00:26:58.980 --> 00:27:00.359 We need to repent of that. 00:27:00.759 --> 00:27:02.059 We need to do all that we can 00:27:02.059 --> 00:27:03.399 to get our house in order. 00:27:05.339 --> 00:27:06.579 And we need to take that seriously. 00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:09.899 And then beyond that, 00:27:09.939 --> 00:27:11.599 as we look at the Me Too movement, 00:27:11.679 --> 00:27:13.019 as crucial as that is, 00:27:13.299 --> 00:27:14.419 I think that as Christians, 00:27:14.679 --> 00:27:16.339 we should be on the leading edge 00:27:16.339 --> 00:27:17.159 of this conversation 00:27:17.159 --> 00:27:19.220 precisely because we can offer 00:27:19.220 --> 00:27:20.399 so much more 00:27:20.399 --> 00:27:22.659 than what Me Too can do. 00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:25.220 See, if you don't believe 00:27:25.220 --> 00:27:25.819 in the gospel, 00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:26.980 if you don't believe 00:27:26.980 --> 00:27:28.379 in a transcendent God 00:27:28.379 --> 00:27:30.720 who died to offer forgiveness 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:31.399 to the world, 00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:33.280 if you don't believe in grace, 00:27:34.320 --> 00:27:35.600 then all you can do 00:27:35.600 --> 00:27:37.000 when it comes to confronting 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:38.420 horrific sin like this, 00:27:38.560 --> 00:27:39.620 all you can do 00:27:39.620 --> 00:27:41.140 is name people 00:27:41.140 --> 00:27:43.000 and shame them 00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:46.259 and send many of them 00:27:46.259 --> 00:27:47.580 into a kind of perpetual 00:27:47.580 --> 00:27:49.019 social exile. 00:27:51.740 --> 00:27:53.519 But shame doesn't change hearts. 00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:56.539 And shame can't heal the world. 00:27:58.279 --> 00:28:01.700 And the only real purpose 00:28:01.700 --> 00:28:02.819 for shame in the world 00:28:02.819 --> 00:28:05.440 is to drive people 00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:06.119 to their knees 00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:07.879 so that they'll cry out 00:28:07.879 --> 00:28:08.319 for mercy. 00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:10.859 And because we believe 00:28:10.859 --> 00:28:11.460 in the gospel 00:28:11.460 --> 00:28:12.299 and because we know 00:28:12.299 --> 00:28:13.680 that we're all sinners 00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:16.379 and we all are here 00:28:16.379 --> 00:28:17.299 only because of the grace 00:28:17.299 --> 00:28:18.099 of Jesus Christ, 00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:19.759 we know that 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:21.759 the way to respond to sin, 00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:23.119 even the most atrocious sin, 00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:24.000 is not simply 00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:25.140 to call people out 00:28:25.140 --> 00:28:26.119 and to shame them 00:28:26.119 --> 00:28:26.980 and to exile them, 00:28:27.059 --> 00:28:28.559 to excommunicate them, 00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:31.279 but rather to give them 00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:31.879 an opportunity 00:28:31.879 --> 00:28:33.559 for true repentance. 00:28:34.059 --> 00:28:34.680 I'm not talking about 00:28:34.680 --> 00:28:35.819 surface level, I'm sorry. 00:28:36.180 --> 00:28:37.079 True repentance. 00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:39.420 Admitting your sin, 00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:40.859 crying out for mercy, 00:28:41.619 --> 00:28:42.519 recognizing the harm 00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:43.140 that you've caused. 00:28:43.500 --> 00:28:44.200 And then guess what? 00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:46.740 God forgives people 00:28:46.740 --> 00:28:48.259 who come to Him. 00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:49.940 And He calls us 00:28:49.940 --> 00:28:53.360 to pray for forgiveness ourselves. 00:28:53.660 --> 00:28:55.460 And there's even this case study 00:28:55.460 --> 00:28:57.340 in 1 and 2 Corinthians. 00:28:57.480 --> 00:28:58.180 There's a man 00:28:58.180 --> 00:28:59.900 who is excommunicated 00:28:59.900 --> 00:29:00.500 from the church. 00:29:00.620 --> 00:29:00.759 You know, 00:29:00.840 --> 00:29:02.240 we sort of bristle 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:02.740 at the idea 00:29:02.740 --> 00:29:03.440 of the church 00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:04.680 excommunicating anybody, 00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:05.940 but in the culture 00:29:05.940 --> 00:29:06.820 we do it all the time. 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:09.200 But in the church, 00:29:09.299 --> 00:29:10.580 this man is excommunicated. 00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:13.080 And then we see later, 00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:13.720 time passes 00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:14.340 and Paul writes 00:29:14.340 --> 00:29:15.299 his second letter 00:29:15.299 --> 00:29:16.279 to the Corinthians. 00:29:16.779 --> 00:29:17.660 And there we hear 00:29:17.660 --> 00:29:18.559 about this same man 00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:19.059 and we realize 00:29:19.059 --> 00:29:19.700 that this man 00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:20.779 has been moved 00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:21.720 to godly sorrow 00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:22.359 over his sin. 00:29:22.419 --> 00:29:23.039 He's repented. 00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:24.740 Paul is concerned 00:29:24.740 --> 00:29:25.779 that he be overwhelmed 00:29:25.779 --> 00:29:26.839 by excessive sorrow 00:29:26.839 --> 00:29:28.019 and he urges 00:29:28.019 --> 00:29:28.480 the Corinthians 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:29.579 to welcome him back 00:29:29.579 --> 00:29:30.480 and to restore him 00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:30.960 to the community. 00:29:32.339 --> 00:29:33.379 This is what will 00:29:33.379 --> 00:29:34.039 heal the world. 00:29:35.099 --> 00:29:36.359 Not dividing the world 00:29:36.359 --> 00:29:36.940 into good guys 00:29:36.940 --> 00:29:37.519 and bad guys. 00:29:39.019 --> 00:29:39.859 Only the gospel 00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:40.700 can bring healing. 00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:42.200 So I think we have 00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:43.379 so much more to offer. 00:29:44.200 --> 00:29:44.839 And I think we should 00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:45.480 take it seriously 00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:46.159 and we should lead 00:29:46.159 --> 00:29:46.859 the conversation. 00:29:46.859 --> 00:29:47.959 Number two, 00:29:48.479 --> 00:29:50.439 we need a healthy culture 00:29:50.439 --> 00:29:51.639 of marriage 00:29:51.639 --> 00:29:52.159 and dating 00:29:52.159 --> 00:29:52.759 and singleness 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:54.959 where everybody, 00:29:55.139 --> 00:29:56.639 regardless of their circumstances, 00:29:56.879 --> 00:29:58.219 is equally supported 00:29:58.219 --> 00:29:59.879 and equally included 00:29:59.879 --> 00:30:00.979 in the life of the church. 00:30:01.740 --> 00:30:02.519 So if you're here 00:30:02.519 --> 00:30:03.319 and you're married, 00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:04.959 you can't do it alone. 00:30:05.099 --> 00:30:06.199 You need support. 00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:07.979 You need people 00:30:07.979 --> 00:30:08.779 in your life 00:30:08.779 --> 00:30:10.219 to help you stay faithful, 00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:11.679 to remind you 00:30:11.679 --> 00:30:12.159 that you're here 00:30:12.159 --> 00:30:13.299 to serve your spouse 00:30:13.299 --> 00:30:14.579 even though we live 00:30:14.579 --> 00:30:15.059 in a culture 00:30:15.059 --> 00:30:15.599 that preaches 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.539 self-gratification. 00:30:17.399 --> 00:30:18.479 To remind you 00:30:18.479 --> 00:30:19.299 that your spouse 00:30:19.299 --> 00:30:20.159 can never meet 00:30:20.159 --> 00:30:20.939 all of your needs 00:30:20.939 --> 00:30:22.099 that only God can. 00:30:22.339 --> 00:30:23.099 To remind you 00:30:23.099 --> 00:30:23.740 that the purpose 00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:24.299 of your marriage 00:30:24.299 --> 00:30:25.079 is to learn more 00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:25.959 about His love. 00:30:26.299 --> 00:30:27.619 You need support. 00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:29.139 If you have young children, 00:30:29.299 --> 00:30:30.179 you need people 00:30:30.179 --> 00:30:31.319 alongside you 00:30:31.319 --> 00:30:32.619 keeping you sane. 00:30:34.099 --> 00:30:34.279 Right? 00:30:34.659 --> 00:30:36.559 Keeping perspective. 00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:38.699 Right? 00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:39.299 If you're married, 00:30:39.399 --> 00:30:40.039 you need support. 00:30:40.179 --> 00:30:40.979 If you're dating, 00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:42.159 you need the support 00:30:42.159 --> 00:30:42.740 of a church. 00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:44.279 You need people 00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:45.319 who know who you're dating, 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:46.200 who know the ins 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:46.480 and outs 00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:47.200 of your relationship. 00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:48.259 You need people 00:30:48.259 --> 00:30:49.059 to help you make 00:30:49.059 --> 00:30:50.200 good decisions. 00:30:50.939 --> 00:30:51.439 Godly, 00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:52.480 healthy decisions. 00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:54.419 Don't hide your relationship 00:30:54.419 --> 00:30:55.259 from your friends. 00:30:56.519 --> 00:30:57.639 Let people in. 00:30:57.720 --> 00:30:58.240 Let them see 00:30:58.240 --> 00:30:59.439 the good and the bad 00:30:59.439 --> 00:30:59.859 and the ugly. 00:31:00.539 --> 00:31:01.919 Let them have a say. 00:31:02.740 --> 00:31:03.740 Because sometimes, 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:04.759 sometimes, 00:31:05.139 --> 00:31:06.899 you need somebody 00:31:06.899 --> 00:31:07.500 to tell you 00:31:07.500 --> 00:31:07.960 that you need 00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:09.159 to pursue that relationship. 00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:10.980 Or you need 00:31:10.980 --> 00:31:12.099 to initiate that relationship. 00:31:12.099 --> 00:31:13.000 You need to ask 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:13.779 that person out. 00:31:14.119 --> 00:31:14.799 And you need somebody 00:31:14.799 --> 00:31:15.339 to just come 00:31:15.339 --> 00:31:15.839 and give you 00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:16.679 kind of a swift kick 00:31:16.679 --> 00:31:17.039 and say, 00:31:17.459 --> 00:31:18.359 do something. 00:31:18.939 --> 00:31:19.119 Right? 00:31:19.959 --> 00:31:21.019 We also sometimes 00:31:21.019 --> 00:31:21.779 need people 00:31:21.779 --> 00:31:22.379 to just step in 00:31:22.379 --> 00:31:22.659 and say, 00:31:22.879 --> 00:31:23.339 you need to end 00:31:23.339 --> 00:31:24.240 that relationship today. 00:31:25.719 --> 00:31:26.619 We need both. 00:31:26.779 --> 00:31:27.379 You need support 00:31:27.379 --> 00:31:27.779 if you're dating. 00:31:27.879 --> 00:31:28.579 If you're single, 00:31:29.139 --> 00:31:30.179 you need the support 00:31:30.179 --> 00:31:30.919 of a church family. 00:31:31.399 --> 00:31:32.000 You need people 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:32.959 to be in your life. 00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:34.399 You need people 00:31:34.399 --> 00:31:35.459 to be encouraging you 00:31:35.459 --> 00:31:36.559 and praying for you. 00:31:37.079 --> 00:31:37.240 Right? 00:31:37.500 --> 00:31:38.460 All too often, 00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.859 the church is more Roman 00:31:40.859 --> 00:31:42.599 than Christian 00:31:42.599 --> 00:31:43.460 when it comes 00:31:43.460 --> 00:31:44.160 to single people. 00:31:45.099 --> 00:31:45.220 You know, 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:46.019 the Romans said, 00:31:46.140 --> 00:31:47.220 if you're married, 00:31:47.299 --> 00:31:48.039 that's the ideal, 00:31:48.220 --> 00:31:48.940 but everybody else 00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:50.099 is kind of a second-class citizen. 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:50.900 All too often, 00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:51.500 the church falls 00:31:51.500 --> 00:31:52.640 into that same way 00:31:52.640 --> 00:31:53.079 of thinking. 00:31:53.220 --> 00:31:53.900 But the thing 00:31:53.900 --> 00:31:55.099 that makes Christianity unique 00:31:55.099 --> 00:31:56.359 is that singleness 00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:57.079 is celebrated. 00:31:57.940 --> 00:31:58.359 These are people 00:31:58.359 --> 00:31:59.339 who can devote themselves 00:31:59.339 --> 00:31:59.859 to ministry, 00:31:59.980 --> 00:32:00.579 devote themselves 00:32:00.579 --> 00:32:01.660 to the work of the gospel, 00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:02.400 devote themselves 00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:03.180 to the care of others, 00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:03.980 in many ways, 00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:05.120 living out this ideal 00:32:05.120 --> 00:32:06.220 that Paul calls us 00:32:06.220 --> 00:32:06.680 to consider. 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:08.220 But you need people, 00:32:08.299 --> 00:32:09.059 you can't do it alone. 00:32:09.180 --> 00:32:09.859 And married people 00:32:09.859 --> 00:32:10.559 and single people 00:32:10.559 --> 00:32:11.420 need each other. 00:32:12.900 --> 00:32:13.660 So we need to be doing 00:32:13.660 --> 00:32:14.120 what we can 00:32:14.120 --> 00:32:14.620 to make sure 00:32:14.620 --> 00:32:15.120 that there are 00:32:15.120 --> 00:32:16.299 lots of different kinds 00:32:16.299 --> 00:32:16.920 of people around 00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:17.620 our dinner tables 00:32:17.620 --> 00:32:18.319 every week. 00:32:18.339 --> 00:32:19.099 And I know a lot of you 00:32:19.099 --> 00:32:19.640 do this. 00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:21.000 But we need to build 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:21.960 a healthy culture 00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:23.599 of singleness, 00:32:23.720 --> 00:32:24.400 dating, and marriage. 00:32:24.980 --> 00:32:25.500 Number three, 00:32:25.660 --> 00:32:26.019 lastly, 00:32:27.319 --> 00:32:28.700 coming right out 00:32:28.700 --> 00:32:29.819 of Ephesians 5.21, 00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:31.640 as men and women, 00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:33.220 we need to build 00:32:33.220 --> 00:32:33.880 one another up. 00:32:35.059 --> 00:32:35.819 We need to build 00:32:35.819 --> 00:32:36.400 one another up. 00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:37.759 You know, 00:32:37.940 --> 00:32:39.420 men in this congregation, 00:32:39.740 --> 00:32:40.000 you know, 00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:41.279 we talk about 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:42.279 the reality 00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:43.859 of toxic masculinity, 00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:45.599 and as it turns out, 00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:46.319 I've talked to 00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:47.599 a handful of women 00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:48.700 just this past week 00:32:48.700 --> 00:32:50.200 and asked them about this, 00:32:50.220 --> 00:32:50.960 and they've shared 00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:51.680 very personal 00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:52.980 and very chilling stories 00:32:52.980 --> 00:32:54.299 of their experiences 00:32:54.299 --> 00:32:54.839 with this 00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:55.880 in work or school 00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:56.539 or other places, 00:32:56.680 --> 00:32:58.720 and so it's a very real thing. 00:32:58.920 --> 00:32:59.279 So I'm not, 00:32:59.279 --> 00:32:59.620 I'm not, 00:32:59.619 --> 00:33:01.679 so for some men, 00:33:01.739 --> 00:33:02.519 that's the challenge. 00:33:03.299 --> 00:33:04.459 But I know other men 00:33:04.459 --> 00:33:05.859 for whom their major challenge 00:33:05.859 --> 00:33:06.659 is not toxicity, 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:07.779 it's passivity. 00:33:09.179 --> 00:33:10.039 It's passivity. 00:33:11.259 --> 00:33:12.739 And there are men 00:33:12.739 --> 00:33:13.500 who are longing 00:33:13.500 --> 00:33:15.579 to be neither. 00:33:16.179 --> 00:33:17.319 They don't want to be toxic. 00:33:17.879 --> 00:33:18.919 They don't want to be passive. 00:33:19.479 --> 00:33:20.339 And I know that there are 00:33:20.339 --> 00:33:21.279 actually many men 00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:22.159 in this congregation 00:33:22.159 --> 00:33:24.659 who are seriously pursuing 00:33:24.659 --> 00:33:25.699 and longing to know 00:33:25.699 --> 00:33:26.159 what it means 00:33:26.159 --> 00:33:27.359 to be a godly man. 00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:29.279 And they're trying 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:30.379 to resist those pulls 00:33:30.379 --> 00:33:30.839 and they're trying 00:33:30.839 --> 00:33:31.659 to resist the lies 00:33:31.659 --> 00:33:32.439 and they're trying 00:33:32.439 --> 00:33:33.019 to figure out 00:33:33.019 --> 00:33:33.500 what does it mean 00:33:33.500 --> 00:33:34.719 to follow Jesus as a man. 00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:37.240 And so my word to you, 00:33:37.339 --> 00:33:37.899 women in the church, 00:33:37.979 --> 00:33:38.779 is do all that you can 00:33:38.779 --> 00:33:39.619 to encourage that. 00:33:40.779 --> 00:33:41.619 Encourage the men. 00:33:42.539 --> 00:33:43.019 Encourage them 00:33:43.019 --> 00:33:44.179 to be courageous. 00:33:44.899 --> 00:33:45.619 Encourage them 00:33:45.619 --> 00:33:47.199 to sacrifice 00:33:47.199 --> 00:33:47.939 for their faith. 00:33:48.299 --> 00:33:48.699 Encourage them 00:33:48.699 --> 00:33:49.659 to take their faith seriously. 00:33:50.019 --> 00:33:50.479 Encourage them 00:33:50.479 --> 00:33:51.219 when you see fruit. 00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:53.759 Encouragement 00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:54.879 is so life-giving. 00:33:56.019 --> 00:33:56.479 And likewise, 00:33:56.699 --> 00:33:57.339 there are women 00:33:57.339 --> 00:33:58.259 in our congregation 00:33:58.259 --> 00:34:01.279 who I think struggle 00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:03.199 under the tyrannical weight 00:34:03.199 --> 00:34:04.139 of expectations. 00:34:05.159 --> 00:34:05.319 You know, 00:34:05.480 --> 00:34:06.720 and I hear this 00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:07.339 from my wife 00:34:07.339 --> 00:34:08.239 and the conversation 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:09.759 she has with a lot 00:34:09.759 --> 00:34:10.039 of the women 00:34:10.039 --> 00:34:10.799 she's close to, 00:34:10.860 --> 00:34:11.480 the sense that 00:34:11.480 --> 00:34:12.380 in our culture, 00:34:12.500 --> 00:34:13.559 in order to be faithful 00:34:13.559 --> 00:34:14.799 to what it means 00:34:14.799 --> 00:34:15.360 to be a woman, 00:34:15.460 --> 00:34:16.400 you have to be everything. 00:34:17.219 --> 00:34:17.340 You know, 00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:18.279 you have to be 00:34:18.279 --> 00:34:20.340 an amazing wife 00:34:20.940 --> 00:34:21.739 and you have to be 00:34:21.739 --> 00:34:23.420 or wife material. 00:34:23.819 --> 00:34:23.940 You know, 00:34:23.980 --> 00:34:24.739 you have to be 00:34:24.739 --> 00:34:26.519 an amazing parent 00:34:26.519 --> 00:34:27.159 if you have kids 00:34:27.159 --> 00:34:28.099 and there's a whole 00:34:28.099 --> 00:34:29.320 school of kind of 00:34:29.320 --> 00:34:29.920 righteousness 00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:30.840 around being 00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:31.619 a good parent 00:34:31.619 --> 00:34:32.239 in our culture 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:33.440 and it's insane 00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:34.280 and it's overwhelming. 00:34:34.840 --> 00:34:35.460 But you have to be 00:34:35.460 --> 00:34:35.980 all of that. 00:34:36.099 --> 00:34:36.179 You know, 00:34:36.219 --> 00:34:36.699 you have to have 00:34:36.699 --> 00:34:38.000 a thriving career 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:38.759 that you're leaning 00:34:38.759 --> 00:34:39.719 into always. 00:34:39.980 --> 00:34:40.539 You have to be 00:34:40.539 --> 00:34:41.780 socially aware 00:34:41.780 --> 00:34:42.579 and savvy 00:34:42.579 --> 00:34:43.739 and engaged 00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:44.460 and activist. 00:34:44.940 --> 00:34:45.539 You have to have 00:34:45.539 --> 00:34:46.739 very intelligent 00:34:46.739 --> 00:34:47.599 and thoughtful things 00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:48.099 to say 00:34:48.099 --> 00:34:48.840 about whatever 00:34:48.840 --> 00:34:49.500 the crisis 00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:50.199 or issue 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:50.699 du jour 00:34:50.699 --> 00:34:51.780 happens to be. 00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:52.340 You have to be 00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:53.360 all of these things 00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:53.840 and you do it 00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:54.620 all while wearing 00:34:54.620 --> 00:34:55.180 heels 00:34:55.180 --> 00:34:56.220 and looking amazing 00:34:56.220 --> 00:34:58.019 and it's a crushing 00:34:58.019 --> 00:34:59.900 weight of expectation. 00:35:00.160 --> 00:35:00.380 And so, 00:35:00.559 --> 00:35:01.340 many of the women 00:35:01.340 --> 00:35:01.980 that I talk to, 00:35:02.019 --> 00:35:02.960 that my wife talks to, 00:35:03.200 --> 00:35:04.019 struggle because they 00:35:04.019 --> 00:35:04.940 constantly feel 00:35:04.940 --> 00:35:05.519 like failures. 00:35:06.420 --> 00:35:07.620 They constantly feel 00:35:07.620 --> 00:35:08.280 a sense of guilt. 00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:10.220 They constantly feel 00:35:10.220 --> 00:35:10.640 that they're 00:35:10.640 --> 00:35:11.960 letting people down. 00:35:13.099 --> 00:35:14.019 And we need to 00:35:14.019 --> 00:35:15.039 encourage the women 00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:16.059 in our church. 00:35:16.740 --> 00:35:17.740 We need to remind 00:35:17.740 --> 00:35:18.120 one another 00:35:18.120 --> 00:35:18.780 of the gospel. 00:35:19.460 --> 00:35:20.220 That my worth 00:35:20.220 --> 00:35:20.740 and my merit 00:35:20.740 --> 00:35:21.260 and my value 00:35:21.260 --> 00:35:22.160 is no longer found 00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:22.759 in my ability 00:35:22.759 --> 00:35:24.519 to meet the expectations 00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:26.039 of the meritocracy 00:35:26.039 --> 00:35:26.819 that we live in. 00:35:27.879 --> 00:35:28.899 That Jesus Christ 00:35:28.899 --> 00:35:29.519 is sufficient. 00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:32.000 That we can set 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:32.920 these things down 00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:33.719 if we need to. 00:35:34.179 --> 00:35:35.059 That we can't be 00:35:35.059 --> 00:35:35.739 all things. 00:35:36.139 --> 00:35:37.079 It's not sustainable. 00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:38.239 And you know, 00:35:38.359 --> 00:35:39.239 for those of you 00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:39.699 who are married 00:35:39.699 --> 00:35:40.319 or aspiring 00:35:40.319 --> 00:35:40.940 to be married 00:35:40.940 --> 00:35:42.599 and you really 00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:43.279 want to support, 00:35:43.359 --> 00:35:43.699 as men, 00:35:43.759 --> 00:35:44.299 you really want to 00:35:44.299 --> 00:35:45.199 support your wife 00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.659 in her work, 00:35:48.059 --> 00:35:49.239 as a parent, 00:35:49.339 --> 00:35:49.659 as somebody 00:35:49.659 --> 00:35:50.559 who shares a home, 00:35:50.879 --> 00:35:51.139 as somebody 00:35:51.139 --> 00:35:52.079 who shares a life, 00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:52.819 if you really 00:35:52.819 --> 00:35:53.500 want to be supportive, 00:35:53.579 --> 00:35:54.460 you have to be aware. 00:35:54.619 --> 00:35:56.059 I've just become aware. 00:35:56.779 --> 00:35:57.759 I've just become aware 00:35:57.759 --> 00:35:58.099 recently, 00:35:58.179 --> 00:35:58.839 reading some things 00:35:58.839 --> 00:35:59.319 and having some 00:35:59.319 --> 00:36:00.599 really honest conversations 00:36:00.599 --> 00:36:01.379 with my wife 00:36:01.379 --> 00:36:02.960 about the mental load 00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:05.920 of being a wife 00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:06.440 and a mom. 00:36:06.699 --> 00:36:07.519 The mental load. 00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:08.940 I think of myself 00:36:08.940 --> 00:36:10.079 as a fairly 00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:11.079 sort of 00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:13.259 progressive, 00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:14.199 egalitarian 00:36:14.199 --> 00:36:15.079 sort of husband. 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:16.559 I have a wife 00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:17.119 who works 00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:18.839 and we co-parent 00:36:18.839 --> 00:36:19.859 and I do 00:36:19.859 --> 00:36:20.699 most of the cooking 00:36:20.699 --> 00:36:21.319 and we share 00:36:21.319 --> 00:36:22.000 a lot of the chores 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:22.480 in the house 00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:23.699 and so if you ask me, 00:36:23.939 --> 00:36:24.059 you know, 00:36:24.099 --> 00:36:25.000 I feel like I do 00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:25.679 a lot of stuff 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:26.379 and then I realize 00:36:26.379 --> 00:36:27.219 I'm not even 00:36:27.219 --> 00:36:28.219 scratching the surface 00:36:28.219 --> 00:36:29.460 because there's 00:36:29.460 --> 00:36:30.559 this whole world 00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:32.859 of tiny little details 00:36:32.859 --> 00:36:33.819 that my wife 00:36:33.819 --> 00:36:34.559 is constantly 00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:35.319 carrying around 00:36:35.319 --> 00:36:36.219 in her mind. 00:36:36.759 --> 00:36:37.500 Details like, 00:36:37.879 --> 00:36:38.699 are there clean sheets 00:36:38.699 --> 00:36:39.179 on the bed 00:36:39.179 --> 00:36:39.799 when our guests 00:36:39.799 --> 00:36:40.679 arrive next week? 00:36:40.739 --> 00:36:41.199 Details like, 00:36:41.439 --> 00:36:42.039 have we signed 00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:42.759 the kids up? 00:36:42.819 --> 00:36:43.799 It's the last day 00:36:43.799 --> 00:36:44.439 to sign them up 00:36:44.439 --> 00:36:44.919 for soccer 00:36:44.919 --> 00:36:45.519 or, you know, 00:36:45.539 --> 00:36:46.319 they're getting old enough 00:36:46.319 --> 00:36:46.939 that we need to be 00:36:46.939 --> 00:36:48.019 getting them piano lessons 00:36:48.019 --> 00:36:48.559 or they need 00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:50.039 their immunization papers 00:36:50.039 --> 00:36:51.139 because school is starting 00:36:51.139 --> 00:36:51.840 in a few weeks 00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:53.440 or we need to make sure 00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:54.320 that we, you know, 00:36:54.360 --> 00:36:55.860 change the furnace filter 00:36:55.860 --> 00:36:56.519 or we need to, 00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:56.840 you know, 00:36:56.860 --> 00:36:57.400 and it's just this, 00:36:57.639 --> 00:36:57.800 you know, 00:36:57.920 --> 00:36:59.320 we're out of paper towels 00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:00.099 and that needs to go 00:37:00.099 --> 00:37:00.900 on the grocery list 00:37:00.900 --> 00:37:01.639 and what I realize 00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:02.400 is that my wife 00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:04.280 has this just enormous, 00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:06.199 like infinitely complex 00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:07.960 array of details 00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:09.219 and responsibilities 00:37:09.219 --> 00:37:11.159 that she's constantly carrying 00:37:11.159 --> 00:37:12.699 in addition to parenting 00:37:12.699 --> 00:37:14.380 and in addition to being my wife 00:37:14.380 --> 00:37:15.880 and in addition to her job. 00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:18.099 She has all of this mental weight, 00:37:18.240 --> 00:37:19.680 this kind of emotional labor 00:37:19.680 --> 00:37:21.500 that she's carrying around 00:37:21.500 --> 00:37:23.019 and, you know, 00:37:23.059 --> 00:37:24.440 I think about this idea 00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:26.240 of headship, you know, 00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:27.140 and what does it mean 00:37:27.140 --> 00:37:28.200 to be a spiritual head 00:37:28.200 --> 00:37:29.320 and I think of, you know, 00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:30.220 people, you know, 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:31.559 men asking themselves, 00:37:31.720 --> 00:37:32.960 am I called to be 00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:33.920 the head of the family 00:37:33.920 --> 00:37:34.700 and then I think, 00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:35.380 well, you know, 00:37:35.420 --> 00:37:36.420 if that's the case, 00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:36.740 you know, 00:37:36.940 --> 00:37:38.640 can I imagine being the head 00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:40.140 of any other institution 00:37:40.140 --> 00:37:40.740 or organization 00:37:40.740 --> 00:37:42.480 and being that out of touch 00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:43.400 with daily operations? 00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:47.340 And it makes you think, 00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:49.440 you know, 00:37:49.639 --> 00:37:50.660 am I a head 00:37:50.660 --> 00:37:51.960 or am I a figurehead? 00:37:54.660 --> 00:37:55.780 One of the best ways 00:37:55.780 --> 00:37:56.700 that we can support 00:37:56.700 --> 00:37:57.660 the women in our lives, 00:37:57.740 --> 00:37:58.619 especially if you're married, 00:37:59.099 --> 00:38:00.059 especially if you have kids, 00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:01.500 is to be aware 00:38:01.500 --> 00:38:03.400 of that enormous mental load 00:38:03.400 --> 00:38:05.460 that most likely 00:38:05.460 --> 00:38:06.480 our wives are carrying 00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:07.820 and to be willing 00:38:07.820 --> 00:38:08.820 to share that load 00:38:08.820 --> 00:38:10.519 or even maybe take it. 00:38:10.740 --> 00:38:11.260 I don't even know 00:38:11.260 --> 00:38:11.920 if that's possible. 00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:13.300 I think about that 00:38:13.300 --> 00:38:13.619 and I think, 00:38:13.720 --> 00:38:14.760 well, God is able 00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:15.820 to do far more abundantly 00:38:15.820 --> 00:38:16.860 than we can ask or imagine. 00:38:17.380 --> 00:38:18.760 But being aware of this 00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:20.740 has made me confess 00:38:20.740 --> 00:38:21.360 to my wife 00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:23.200 and it's made me 00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:23.940 and we're trying 00:38:23.940 --> 00:38:24.700 to figure out ways 00:38:24.700 --> 00:38:25.900 that we can take 00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:27.039 some of that off of her 00:38:27.039 --> 00:38:29.059 and I can share that. 00:38:29.659 --> 00:38:30.659 I think it's a big part 00:38:30.659 --> 00:38:31.119 of what it means 00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:31.760 to support 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:33.119 and to build women up 00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:34.079 in our lives. 00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:35.900 And so all of these things, 00:38:36.220 --> 00:38:37.559 all of what we're talking about, 00:38:38.639 --> 00:38:40.200 this is how the gospel 00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:41.500 transforms gender. 00:38:42.539 --> 00:38:44.380 God ended the power struggle 00:38:44.380 --> 00:38:44.960 with humans 00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:46.280 through sacrificial love 00:38:46.280 --> 00:38:48.159 and God calls us 00:38:48.159 --> 00:38:49.440 to end the power struggle 00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:50.840 between men and women 00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:53.180 through sacrificial love. 00:38:54.260 --> 00:38:55.280 And we do this 00:38:55.280 --> 00:38:56.900 not just for our own benefit, 00:38:57.019 --> 00:38:57.700 we do this because 00:38:57.700 --> 00:38:59.460 when we live like this, 00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:01.639 we are putting 00:39:01.639 --> 00:39:03.740 the gospel on display, 00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:05.860 making the love of God visible 00:39:05.860 --> 00:39:07.480 for all the world to see. 00:39:08.200 --> 00:39:08.960 Let's pray. 00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:09.860 Let's pray. 00:39:09.860 --> 00:39:10.220 Let's pray. 00:39:10.440 --> 00:39:10.460 Let's pray. 00:39:11.059 --> 00:39:11.920 Let's pray. 00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:12.019 Let's pray. 00:39:12.860 --> 00:39:13.860 Let's pray.