WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.480 You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:09.560 Our passion is to experience and express grace. 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:10.620 Join us. 00:00:13.019 --> 00:00:14.320 Thank you, guys. 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:24.100 Beautiful song with rich lyrics about forgiveness, which is something that's easy to think about 00:00:24.100 --> 00:00:32.260 in theory, but really hard to live out in consistent community, isn't it? 00:00:34.020 --> 00:00:37.039 Have you felt the rub there with forgiveness? 00:00:38.480 --> 00:00:44.799 If someone makes fun of you in front of others or makes fun of a group or type of person, 00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:50.160 not realizing you're one and it stings and you resent her. 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:58.239 A pastor neglects to follow up on caring for you in a difficult situation as he promised, 00:00:59.079 --> 00:01:02.799 and you're frustrated, disappointed, bitter. 00:01:05.539 --> 00:01:10.719 Another kid starts leaving your kid out in really hurtful ways. 00:01:11.759 --> 00:01:19.719 You see the tears and you're so angry with that kid, but you're furious with the other parents. 00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:21.859 They seem to be supporting it. 00:01:23.759 --> 00:01:29.599 A fellow church member discredits your perspective in a meeting and belittles you in the process, 00:01:30.039 --> 00:01:32.920 and you want nothing to do with him anymore. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:40.939 Do I need to keep going to remind us that this is an issue and a struggle and a challenge in our family, too? 00:01:40.939 --> 00:01:48.200 We need God's word and God's spirit to shape our hearts in our relationships. 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:51.140 So let's read Ephesians 4 this morning. 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:56.539 Paul addresses several issues here about how we relate to one another in God's family 00:01:56.539 --> 00:01:59.680 and finishes with forgiveness. 00:02:00.979 --> 00:02:04.519 Kids, that was the first one, by the way, on your list. 00:02:04.659 --> 00:02:07.539 Your sermon words this morning brought to you by the letter F. 00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:10.080 Yeah, you might have, yep, pay attention. 00:02:10.340 --> 00:02:10.900 You got one. 00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:16.860 Ephesians 4, we'll start reading at verse 25. 00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:17.180 Verse 25. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:24.520 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, 00:02:24.900 --> 00:02:27.280 for we are members one of another. 00:02:28.420 --> 00:02:30.159 Be angry and do not sin. 00:02:30.259 --> 00:02:33.800 Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. 00:02:33.800 --> 00:02:39.640 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, 00:02:39.719 --> 00:02:42.900 so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 00:02:44.160 --> 00:02:49.439 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, 00:02:49.480 --> 00:02:52.720 as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 00:02:53.480 --> 00:02:57.620 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 00:02:57.620 --> 00:03:01.280 And then the verses will focus on, 00:03:01.780 --> 00:03:09.780 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:11.620 along with all malice. 00:03:12.520 --> 00:03:17.900 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, 00:03:18.719 --> 00:03:22.300 as God in Christ forgave you. 00:03:22.300 --> 00:03:29.100 The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. 00:03:29.380 --> 00:03:29.860 Let's pray. 00:03:31.900 --> 00:03:35.300 Father, it's because of that that we come to your word, 00:03:35.980 --> 00:03:38.160 because we have nowhere else that we can trust. 00:03:39.380 --> 00:03:45.140 And we ask by your spirit that you would use it in our hearts and in our lives. 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:48.920 Work in us powerfully, we ask. 00:03:48.920 --> 00:03:52.160 Change us, make us into what you would have us be. 00:03:53.160 --> 00:03:54.780 We ask in Jesus' name. 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:56.000 Amen. 00:04:00.200 --> 00:04:04.420 The scene of one of the most beautiful stories of forgiveness I've ever heard 00:04:04.420 --> 00:04:10.620 is a courtroom in post-apartheid South Africa, several years ago. 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.920 A frail black woman rises slowly to her feet. 00:04:15.920 --> 00:04:19.560 She is something over 70 years of age. 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:23.939 Facing across the room are several white security police officers, 00:04:23.939 --> 00:04:30.019 one of whom, Mr. Vanderbrek, has just been tried and found implicated in the murders 00:04:30.019 --> 00:04:33.899 of both the woman's son and her husband. 00:04:33.899 --> 00:04:39.319 How vividly she remembers that evening several years before, 00:04:39.699 --> 00:04:44.639 going to a place beside a river where she was shown her husband bound and beaten, 00:04:45.159 --> 00:04:48.539 but still strong in spirit, lying on a pile of wood. 00:04:49.539 --> 00:04:54.659 The last words she heard from his lips as the officers poured petrol over his body 00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:56.460 and set him aflame were, 00:04:57.140 --> 00:04:58.700 Father, forgive them. 00:05:01.620 --> 00:05:06.540 Now the woman stands in the courtroom and listens to the confessions offered by Mr. Vanderbrek. 00:05:06.540 --> 00:05:12.560 And a member of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission turns to her and asks, 00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:13.720 So what do you want? 00:05:14.140 --> 00:05:19.480 How should justice be done to this man who has so brutally destroyed your family? 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:26.620 I want three things, begins the old woman calmly but confidently. 00:05:26.620 --> 00:05:31.459 I want first to be taken to the place where my husband's body was burned 00:05:31.459 --> 00:05:35.500 so that I can gather up the dust and give his remains a decent burial. 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.899 She pauses and then continues. 00:05:40.019 --> 00:05:42.759 My husband and son were my only family. 00:05:44.280 --> 00:05:49.379 I want secondly, therefore, for Mr. Vanderbrek to become my son. 00:05:49.379 --> 00:05:55.920 I would like for him to come twice a month to the ghetto and spend a day with me 00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:00.439 so that I can pour out on him whatever love I still have remaining in me. 00:06:01.420 --> 00:06:04.300 And finally, she says, I want a third thing. 00:06:05.259 --> 00:06:06.779 This is also the wish of my husband. 00:06:08.180 --> 00:06:13.259 And so I would kindly ask someone to come to my side and lead me across the courtroom 00:06:13.259 --> 00:06:18.360 so that I can take Mr. Vanderbrek in my arms and embrace him 00:06:18.360 --> 00:06:21.819 and let him know that he is truly forgiven. 00:06:24.020 --> 00:06:27.560 As the court assistants come to lead the elderly woman across the room, 00:06:28.439 --> 00:06:32.580 Mr. Vanderbrek, overwhelmed by what he has just heard, faints. 00:06:34.259 --> 00:06:37.800 As he does, those in the courtroom, family, friends, and neighbors, 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:41.480 all victims of decades of oppression and injustice, 00:06:41.699 --> 00:06:44.620 begin to sing softly but assuredly, 00:06:44.620 --> 00:06:51.519 Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. 00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:56.160 Amazing grace. 00:06:57.319 --> 00:07:01.660 Forgiveness beyond what most of us could even comprehend. 00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:08.459 She brings her enemy into her arms and into her family. 00:07:08.459 --> 00:07:14.079 I want to start there before we talk about forgiving one another. 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:19.120 Forgiveness is divine, right? 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:21.419 To err is human. 00:07:22.419 --> 00:07:24.120 We talked about that last week. 00:07:24.299 --> 00:07:28.219 Shared sinfulness that we should share about with each other. 00:07:28.220 --> 00:07:30.000 But to forgive? 00:07:32.400 --> 00:07:33.820 That's divine. 00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:37.260 It's where Paul ends this whole conversation, isn't it? 00:07:37.960 --> 00:07:42.840 As God in Christ forgave you. 00:07:44.340 --> 00:07:46.820 Can we just live there for a couple minutes this morning? 00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:51.100 As God in Christ forgave you. 00:07:51.100 --> 00:07:59.040 Amazing grace that moved that elderly woman across the courtroom to her enemy 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:03.060 reflects, doesn't it, the amazing grace of our God. 00:08:04.020 --> 00:08:11.420 Like the South African woman, God brings his enemies into his arms and into his family. 00:08:13.140 --> 00:08:16.400 Forgiveness is about restoring relationship, isn't it? 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:20.859 And that's what we see in God's story throughout the Bible. 00:08:21.219 --> 00:08:29.399 From the very first sin, people created to be in relationship with him have turned away to trust themselves instead. 00:08:30.779 --> 00:08:33.860 And what we deserve from that rebellion is to be cut off. 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:36.939 Left away from God. 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:40.779 Sent forever away from God. 00:08:40.939 --> 00:08:42.179 Away from life. 00:08:42.340 --> 00:08:43.939 Away from light. 00:08:43.940 --> 00:08:51.160 Our sin is described as this huge debt that is absolutely unpayable. 00:08:51.300 --> 00:08:52.780 There's nothing we can do. 00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:55.980 No hope that we can restore the relationship. 00:08:56.680 --> 00:08:59.180 We should be cut off forever. 00:09:01.520 --> 00:09:03.440 But God. 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:04.760 Right? 00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:08.180 But God is full of grace. 00:09:08.660 --> 00:09:09.940 Rich in mercy. 00:09:10.660 --> 00:09:11.940 Abundant in forgiveness. 00:09:11.940 --> 00:09:12.580 Forgiveness. 00:09:12.920 --> 00:09:13.860 What does he do? 00:09:14.440 --> 00:09:18.920 What God does is change the entire basis of our relationship. 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:27.220 He doesn't relate to us on the basis of our sin and rebellion as our sins deserve, does he? 00:09:27.780 --> 00:09:30.320 He doesn't hold our debt over us. 00:09:30.680 --> 00:09:34.320 No, he doesn't relate to us on that basis. 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:35.480 Not to us. 00:09:37.680 --> 00:09:42.160 He relates to Jesus that way. 00:09:42.159 --> 00:09:43.159 He sends his son away. 00:09:43.159 --> 00:09:49.659 He sends his son away to pay the great cost, the huge debt that we owe. 00:09:50.179 --> 00:09:53.919 And as he does that, he removes our sins from us. 00:09:54.019 --> 00:09:54.199 Where? 00:09:54.439 --> 00:09:57.519 As far as the east is from the west. 00:09:57.719 --> 00:09:59.259 Psalm 103. 00:10:00.139 --> 00:10:02.759 They're not attached to us anymore. 00:10:03.299 --> 00:10:04.379 They're on Jesus. 00:10:04.379 --> 00:10:12.759 In Jeremiah, his promise is to remember our sins no more. 00:10:12.759 --> 00:10:15.600 Does that mean God forgets them? 00:10:15.659 --> 00:10:19.419 That he just tries hard but he can't come up with anything bad you've ever done? 00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:19.919 No. 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:24.599 It means he does not count it against us. 00:10:24.599 --> 00:10:31.059 2 Corinthians 5 says that's how he reconciles us in our relationship with him. 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:35.620 That in Christ, our sins are not counted against us. 00:10:35.740 --> 00:10:36.019 Why? 00:10:36.319 --> 00:10:40.159 Because they are counted against him. 00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:47.559 When God thinks of us then, our sins no longer in the picture. 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:49.759 That's not what he's thinking of. 00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:57.019 In fact, as he forgives our sins, he transfers us from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom 00:10:57.019 --> 00:11:01.679 of his beloved son, Colossians 1. 00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:05.699 He welcomes us into his family. 00:11:06.019 --> 00:11:08.379 This is where you belong, he says. 00:11:08.579 --> 00:11:09.639 Here's your status. 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:11.919 Here's the basis of our relationship. 00:11:12.579 --> 00:11:16.699 You're treated as my beloved son. 00:11:17.319 --> 00:11:26.479 Because Jesus' perfect record, not your rebellious one, is the basis of our relationship. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.240 Can you believe that? 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:33.299 That's how God in Christ forgave you. 00:11:33.419 --> 00:11:39.259 After all we've done, after all the debt we accumulated, after all the ways we grieved 00:11:39.259 --> 00:11:46.480 his heart, God refuses to see our relationship with him remain broken, doesn't he? 00:11:47.060 --> 00:11:54.539 But he sends his son to the cross to pay our debt, to forgive our sins, to restore our relationship 00:11:54.539 --> 00:11:55.620 with him forever. 00:11:55.960 --> 00:11:56.159 Amen? 00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:56.360 Amen? 00:11:57.079 --> 00:11:58.299 That's what God does. 00:11:58.500 --> 00:12:00.100 That's how he loves us. 00:12:01.259 --> 00:12:04.120 It's how God in Christ forgave you. 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:12.860 At great cost to himself, he moved towards you to remove the sin that was keeping you from 00:12:12.860 --> 00:12:16.439 him, to restore relationship with you. 00:12:16.839 --> 00:12:21.699 Praise the Lord that he forgives like that. 00:12:21.700 --> 00:12:27.360 Without his forgiveness, we would be crushed under the weight of our own failure. 00:12:27.920 --> 00:12:34.400 We would be cast out from his good presence, the thing we were most created for, to be with 00:12:34.400 --> 00:12:36.940 him who is goodness itself. 00:12:37.460 --> 00:12:39.420 And we would be away from that forever. 00:12:39.419 --> 00:12:50.120 But because of his forgiveness, because of Jesus, we stand instead of far away and no hope to come 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:58.819 near, we stand embraced and beloved in the glorious presence of God who lavishes his grace on us, 00:12:58.939 --> 00:13:02.360 not just in one moment, but over and over again forever. 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:03.279 Hallelujah. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:03.480 Hallelujah. 00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:05.220 That's our hope. 00:13:05.320 --> 00:13:06.080 That's our joy. 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:10.420 That's how God in Christ forgives us. 00:13:12.580 --> 00:13:16.180 That's what it means for God to forgive you. 00:13:16.179 --> 00:13:21.179 So forgive one another. 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:30.919 See, it is to be that grace that God pours into us, that overflows from us to others. 00:13:31.059 --> 00:13:31.939 That's the idea. 00:13:32.299 --> 00:13:38.639 That's why we say we're here to experience and express grace, that we show undeserved favor 00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:44.259 to others because God has shown undeserved favor to us, right? 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:46.899 That's how life works. 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:53.819 The word used for forgiving here in verse 32 actually is from the word for grace. 00:13:54.220 --> 00:13:56.799 It simply means acting with grace. 00:13:57.480 --> 00:14:00.120 You could translate gracing one another. 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:04.440 It's the essence of Christianity, really. 00:14:04.779 --> 00:14:05.220 As C.S. 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:13.620 Lewis said, to be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the 00:14:13.620 --> 00:14:15.940 inexcusable in you. 00:14:17.580 --> 00:14:19.100 That sounds easy, doesn't it? 00:14:20.860 --> 00:14:23.200 But it's really hard, isn't it? 00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:33.480 Some of you have been deeply hurt or mistreated by a brother or sister, maybe by a leader in 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:36.660 a church, by someone else. 00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:39.400 You know how hard this is. 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:43.480 Sometimes that person never apologizes. 00:14:43.480 --> 00:14:56.039 Sometimes we feel that forgiveness would mean condoning something terribly wrong that has been done to us, perhaps even repeatedly done to us. 00:14:56.039 --> 00:15:02.299 If you're feeling that, just two things this morning. 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:10.159 First, if that's your experience with the impact of sin on your life in these devastating ways, 00:15:10.579 --> 00:15:17.419 please come talk to me or to someone else so that we can weep with you over that. 00:15:17.419 --> 00:15:26.299 And so that we can walk with you to find healing in the only place that it can truly be found, and that's in Jesus. 00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:28.939 We want that for you. 00:15:29.879 --> 00:15:36.000 And also, know that forgiveness doesn't mean that the sin done to you is okay. 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:37.079 It's not. 00:15:38.659 --> 00:15:45.500 Forgiveness actually means calling sin, sin, and saying what it really is. 00:15:45.500 --> 00:15:52.820 And in saying the blood of Jesus must be shed to cover that, that's forgiveness. 00:15:54.799 --> 00:16:06.000 Lewis, again, real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse after all allowances have been made, 00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:11.940 and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice. 00:16:11.940 --> 00:16:14.860 Really seeing it like that. 00:16:15.280 --> 00:16:19.500 And nevertheless, being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. 00:16:20.780 --> 00:16:21.840 Now that's not easy. 00:16:22.260 --> 00:16:35.540 When you face something awful, really hurtful, restored relationship in the face of honestly calling unthinkable evil, evil. 00:16:35.539 --> 00:16:40.639 Takes you back to the courtroom in South Africa, doesn't it? 00:16:43.179 --> 00:16:50.839 But for most of us, actually, forgiving one another is much less dramatic than scenes like that, isn't it? 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:54.639 It's an everyday kind of thing. 00:16:55.340 --> 00:16:57.080 The child being left out. 00:16:58.460 --> 00:17:01.360 The comment in small group that still stings. 00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:03.040 The pastor who neglected us. 00:17:03.139 --> 00:17:04.799 The friend who belittled us. 00:17:05.380 --> 00:17:12.180 Daily sins that still break relationship in devastating ways too, don't they? 00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:16.980 It doesn't have to be this huge thing. 00:17:17.960 --> 00:17:29.279 And as Paul talks about in this passage, what he's talking about is living in community in Christ's church in terms, if I could use the analogy of a garden. 00:17:30.700 --> 00:17:36.440 There are five areas Paul walks through, and every one of them where there are weeds that need to be pulled up, 00:17:36.860 --> 00:17:40.180 and then new plants planted in their place. 00:17:40.180 --> 00:17:44.920 And in this last area that he gets to, the one we're talking about this morning, 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:53.320 the weeds are the things in our hearts and in our actions that destroy relationship. 00:17:54.560 --> 00:17:55.980 Look at verse 31. 00:17:57.299 --> 00:18:07.820 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. 00:18:07.819 --> 00:18:10.759 These are the weeds in our hearts. 00:18:10.919 --> 00:18:13.759 We need to slow down and consider them for a second. 00:18:13.879 --> 00:18:15.379 Let me walk briefly with you. 00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:22.139 Bitterness that harbors resentment against the person who hurt me. 00:18:24.059 --> 00:18:29.639 Wrath that lashes out in rage that you would think to treat me that way. 00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:38.020 Anger, similar but often seething below the surface because I'm left out. 00:18:40.320 --> 00:18:47.960 Clamor, that is noisy divisiveness, being combative with one another rather than listening to each other well. 00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:54.000 Slander that takes the battle behind your back to tear someone down. 00:18:54.000 --> 00:19:00.240 Malice, perhaps being the summary word here, 00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:05.859 that sets you against a brother or sister for any of these reasons, 00:19:05.859 --> 00:19:09.700 that you no longer desire their good, what's best for them. 00:19:09.779 --> 00:19:13.619 There's something else that you feel towards them in your heart. 00:19:13.619 --> 00:19:19.819 Do you see any of those weeds in your heart? 00:19:20.639 --> 00:19:21.619 In any relationship? 00:19:23.899 --> 00:19:27.819 See, these weeds choke out healthy relationship, don't they? 00:19:28.439 --> 00:19:33.679 Flourishing gospel community like we're praying for God to grow and develop here. 00:19:33.799 --> 00:19:36.119 These will choke them out quickly. 00:19:37.159 --> 00:19:41.959 It's just like we said last week when we were talking about confessing sins to one another. 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:48.380 And we said confessing our sins to one another removes loneliness in both of us, doesn't it? 00:19:48.740 --> 00:19:55.299 The one who confesses and the one who hears have loneliness removed and enter into relationship. 00:19:55.579 --> 00:20:01.559 Just so, unforgiveness destroys relationship. 00:20:02.100 --> 00:20:05.980 It isolates both people, doesn't it? 00:20:05.980 --> 00:20:17.019 The offender and the offended, both isolated in this unforgiveness, away from relationship with each other. 00:20:19.019 --> 00:20:20.779 We've told ourselves that's okay. 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:25.920 I think a lot of times we have. 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:28.059 It's alright. 00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:32.740 The relationship can just stay cold or distant. 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:35.639 I mean, that's not really that bad, is it? 00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:37.379 I'm not doing anything terrible. 00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:40.279 We do tell ourselves that's okay, don't we? 00:20:41.179 --> 00:20:42.500 We do over and over. 00:20:42.980 --> 00:20:44.579 We come up with all sorts of excuses. 00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:49.099 And we allow brothers or sisters to become enemies. 00:20:49.099 --> 00:20:58.699 And maybe you wouldn't use that word, but either actively or passively, they're treated as enemies, not someone welcomed in. 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:07.740 Forgiving one another often begins with pulling up the weeds of bitterness or malice in our hearts. 00:21:09.939 --> 00:21:17.819 See, forgiveness is actually just one piece of learning to live out love with each other. 00:21:17.819 --> 00:21:30.819 If you remember a few weeks ago, we said that love is this deeply felt value moving toward another in sacrificial action. 00:21:31.299 --> 00:21:38.439 Well, forgiveness is just applying that reality of love in a particular situation when you've been sinned against. 00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:41.000 It's love when you've been sinned against. 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:47.000 So forgiveness then is deeply felt value moving toward another who has offended you. 00:21:47.819 --> 00:21:51.119 In sacrificial action. 00:21:52.419 --> 00:21:55.359 That's what God did toward us when we sinned against Him, right? 00:21:55.799 --> 00:21:57.439 Not staying distant. 00:21:57.779 --> 00:22:00.980 Oh, well, it's okay if this relationship cools. 00:22:01.159 --> 00:22:01.559 No. 00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:05.259 Moving toward the other sacrificially. 00:22:05.379 --> 00:22:07.740 It costs us something. 00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:11.059 Because we see the debt that they owe us. 00:22:11.940 --> 00:22:14.319 And yet we determine to stop demanding payment. 00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:17.380 To stop holding that over their heads. 00:22:18.259 --> 00:22:19.039 It's costly. 00:22:20.420 --> 00:22:23.880 Ken Sandy, the director of Peacemakers, writes, 00:22:24.140 --> 00:22:27.420 Forgiveness can be a costly activity. 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:31.059 When you cancel a debt, it does not just simply disappear. 00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:38.039 Instead, you absorb a liability that someone else deserves to pay. 00:22:39.319 --> 00:22:46.039 Similarly, forgiveness requires that you absorb certain effects of another person's sins. 00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:50.379 And you release that person from liability to punishment. 00:22:50.919 --> 00:22:55.079 This is precisely what Christ accomplished on Calvary. 00:22:55.079 --> 00:23:02.939 See, when someone sins against you, you have a right to be upset, don't you? 00:23:04.299 --> 00:23:04.980 It's a right. 00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:06.980 Something wrong has been done. 00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:11.159 And many of us have high justice bones in us. 00:23:11.579 --> 00:23:14.859 And we see that there's a right that we have to be upset. 00:23:15.059 --> 00:23:16.199 And to see that is wrong. 00:23:16.539 --> 00:23:18.299 And you know what we really struggle with? 00:23:19.399 --> 00:23:21.939 Giving up anything that we consider to be a right. 00:23:21.940 --> 00:23:24.320 We don't like giving up our rights, do we? 00:23:25.340 --> 00:23:26.420 And yet, who did? 00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:28.680 Jesus. 00:23:29.660 --> 00:23:32.700 Jesus gave up his rights. 00:23:33.100 --> 00:23:34.440 And many of them. 00:23:34.740 --> 00:23:36.820 In order to forgive us. 00:23:37.019 --> 00:23:44.080 And so, we're called to give up our rights to forgive one another. 00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:47.559 We pay that sometimes high price. 00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:56.019 Listen, there may be consequences that the offender needs to deal with as a result of his sin. 00:23:56.220 --> 00:24:00.179 Which is first and foremost and ultimately sin against God. 00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:04.440 But as for our relationship with them. 00:24:04.879 --> 00:24:08.579 Forgiveness says, I'm not going to keep demanding payment. 00:24:08.839 --> 00:24:14.579 Because God is not demanding further payment from me for my sin. 00:24:14.579 --> 00:24:17.639 God paid that debt. 00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:19.759 My huge debt. 00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:25.960 Now, I'll absorb the cost of this one as it pertains to our relationship. 00:24:28.299 --> 00:24:31.720 It may take time to rebuild trust. 00:24:32.139 --> 00:24:37.299 But I'm not going to hold my husband's failings over him day by day to keep him down. 00:24:37.859 --> 00:24:39.019 And beneath me. 00:24:39.019 --> 00:24:43.279 You may need to work on your sensitivity. 00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:49.819 But I'm not going to use your carelessness as an excuse to keep me from loving you. 00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:55.079 Yeah, Johnny may need to learn to play with others. 00:24:55.819 --> 00:25:02.000 But we're not skipping your kid's party to remind you how hurtful what he said to my kid was. 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:05.859 There's a cost there in each of those. 00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:08.480 Whatever the cost is between you. 00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:15.220 You pay the cost in order to restore the relationship with a brother or a sister. 00:25:16.059 --> 00:25:22.000 And that's part of what it means to forgive one another as God and Christ forgave you. 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:22.720 You. 00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:29.980 We can do that only as we realize the basis for our relationship, right? 00:25:30.140 --> 00:25:31.299 Remember what God does? 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:34.660 He changes the basis of our relationship. 00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:40.259 God relates to us on the basis of Jesus' record and not ours. 00:25:40.259 --> 00:25:49.480 So to forgive one another in God's family means relating to brothers or sisters on the basis of their family status. 00:25:50.019 --> 00:25:52.099 Not their sin. 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:57.440 Brother, sister, you're loved by the Father. 00:25:58.640 --> 00:25:59.379 You know who you are? 00:25:59.539 --> 00:26:01.599 You're purchased by Jesus. 00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:03.079 You know what's true of you? 00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:05.619 You're indwelt by the Holy Spirit. 00:26:05.619 --> 00:26:10.959 Spirit, I must live that reality out. 00:26:11.379 --> 00:26:13.179 Loving and forgiving you. 00:26:13.399 --> 00:26:16.019 I don't forgive you because you performed well. 00:26:16.279 --> 00:26:17.539 No, you didn't. 00:26:18.219 --> 00:26:19.319 You sinned. 00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:21.339 It was terrible. 00:26:22.239 --> 00:26:23.639 You sinned against me. 00:26:25.059 --> 00:26:29.199 I forgive you not because you performed well but because Jesus did. 00:26:29.500 --> 00:26:34.679 And because Jesus performed well, we're in his family together. 00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:37.720 That's the basis of our relationship. 00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:44.320 And if I don't let that matter here when it's hard and when I don't want to, then it never will. 00:26:45.860 --> 00:26:50.620 And community can never grow because there's way too much sin to go around. 00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:55.019 It's gospel community, y'all. 00:26:56.100 --> 00:27:00.519 That we love each other and forgive each other for Jesus' sake. 00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:02.380 He makes the difference. 00:27:02.380 --> 00:27:04.700 Not because you root for my football team. 00:27:04.940 --> 00:27:08.360 Not because you have my same personality and I kind of would like to get along. 00:27:08.660 --> 00:27:13.000 Not because you might be advantageous to me or because you're in my income bracket. 00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:13.620 No. 00:27:14.500 --> 00:27:19.500 Because Jesus has brought us into a family together. 00:27:20.260 --> 00:27:25.580 Forgiveness is important in all our relationships but especially within God's family. 00:27:25.579 --> 00:27:29.639 It's like I tell my three girls on a regular basis. 00:27:29.819 --> 00:27:35.879 Listen, all of your relationships are important but you got sisters forever. 00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:43.159 You better learn how to love and forgive these two even if you don't figure it out with anybody else. 00:27:43.259 --> 00:27:43.359 Right? 00:27:43.399 --> 00:27:44.819 Have you said something like that to your kids? 00:27:44.980 --> 00:27:46.799 You better figure out how to work with each other. 00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:55.259 Listen, on the authority of God's word, your relationships with the people sitting next to you, 00:27:55.899 --> 00:28:00.639 with the people in your small group, with the people you'll run into in the hallway this morning, 00:28:00.639 --> 00:28:06.460 will last forever, even beyond your biological family relationships perhaps. 00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:09.460 Because of Jesus. 00:28:11.259 --> 00:28:15.059 Who's in your family forever and needs your forgiveness? 00:28:16.019 --> 00:28:22.860 What relationship has grown cold, distant, or antagonistic because you're focusing on their performance 00:28:22.860 --> 00:28:26.400 more than on their family status? 00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:34.779 What brother or sister whom your father has forgiven already are you unwilling to forgive? 00:28:34.779 --> 00:28:41.359 I don't know about you but by this time of year and after this weekend, 00:28:41.519 --> 00:28:47.980 I'm quite clear on the fact that the weeds in my garden grow a lot faster than the flowers do. 00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:52.660 Now over and over and over I have to keep pulling them up. 00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:57.700 I mean you pull them up one weekend, the next weekend they've outgrown every plant around them 00:28:57.700 --> 00:29:00.879 and they're starting to choke other things out. 00:29:01.579 --> 00:29:03.980 They just seem to grow more easily, don't they? 00:29:04.779 --> 00:29:09.000 Man, do I feel that in my heart too. 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:10.619 You feel that? 00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:15.920 It is so much easier to let the garden of my heart go, 00:29:16.259 --> 00:29:20.799 not to tend to the relationships, there's just too many of them. 00:29:23.139 --> 00:29:28.359 And left alone, I promise the weeds, the bitterness, the anger, the slander, 00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:31.559 grow so much more easily. 00:29:31.559 --> 00:29:39.159 But God has called us to plant a community garden, if you will, 00:29:39.779 --> 00:29:47.500 that shares the beauty of his love, his grace, his forgiveness with all who see it. 00:29:47.899 --> 00:29:54.759 And so one relationship at a time, he calls us to pull up a weed and plant a flower. 00:29:54.759 --> 00:30:00.359 In fact, he pours his beautiful forgiveness into our lives over and over. 00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:03.200 It's this uniquely powerful solution. 00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:12.259 His forgiveness, the only thing that both kills the weeds and grows the flowers at the same time. 00:30:12.259 --> 00:30:19.680 He pours that into us so that we will have the resources that we don't feel like we have to forgive. 00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:29.080 How else could the elderly woman have any love left to pour into the man who killed her only family? 00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:39.740 And yet she asks that he be her son, that I can pour on him whatever love I have remaining. 00:30:40.019 --> 00:30:45.419 What a beautiful relationship that is, that exalts the grace of God. 00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:54.460 It's such a beautiful thing, isn't it, when broken relationships are restored by grace through forgiveness. 00:30:54.460 --> 00:31:01.840 That relationship broken by unforgiveness, that doesn't seem to matter to you. 00:31:03.460 --> 00:31:08.100 It's the place God's calling you to tend the community garden. 00:31:09.140 --> 00:31:15.059 To stop by today with the failing spouse, with the hurtful friend, 00:31:15.059 --> 00:31:19.200 and let the gospel pull up the weed in your heart. 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:27.880 And replace it in God's time with a beautiful, healing relationship that will be part of the garden, 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:30.420 that the whole community will enjoy. 00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:37.720 As they savor with us the glories of the incredible grace of our great God, 00:31:37.900 --> 00:31:43.519 who has loved us and forgiven us that we might do the same with one another. 00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:44.180 Let's pray. 00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:53.740 God, we marvel again at your love and forgiveness. 00:31:56.700 --> 00:32:00.200 It is by definition well beyond what we deserve. 00:32:00.420 --> 00:32:02.160 And that's why we call it grace. 00:32:02.600 --> 00:32:04.140 And we thank you for it. 00:32:04.740 --> 00:32:08.720 And we ask that you would astonish us with it again today. 00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:13.440 That it would not just pour into us, but that it would flow from us. 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:19.200 That you might make our relationships rich, rich soil of forgiveness. 00:32:20.140 --> 00:32:25.620 Places where beautiful, restored relationships grow. 00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.180 That testify to the power of your grace. 00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:33.400 The power of your spirit. 00:32:35.080 --> 00:32:38.220 Would you come and pour that into us? 00:32:38.220 --> 00:32:38.779 Amen. 00:32:38.779 --> 00:32:39.220 Amen. 00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:39.860 Amen. 00:32:39.860 --> 00:32:44.980 Even as we've sung this morning, how deep your love is for us. 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:49.120 How vast, beyond all measure. 00:32:49.819 --> 00:32:52.799 Give us love that is beyond us, Father. 00:32:54.140 --> 00:32:56.220 But that is exactly like you. 00:32:57.400 --> 00:32:58.819 For each other and for others. 00:32:58.819 --> 00:33:02.019 We pray this in Jesus' name. 00:33:03.139 --> 00:33:03.539 Amen. 00:33:05.099 --> 00:33:08.819 For more information, visit us online at southwood.org.