As we turn now to God's word,
just to say it again for those of you who maybe knew
that one of the commitments of our church
and as we've just been singing
about the cornerstone of Jesus Christ,
the way that we know him is through his word.
And so every week we open up the Bible
and we look at it carefully together.
To see what it has to say to us today.
I'm not gonna preach on building projects.
I'm gonna preach on what comes next in the book of Genesis,
which is where we're in.
So if you wanna turn with me in your pew Bibles,
Genesis 2 is where we'll be.
That'll be on page two in your pew Bible.
And as you turn there,
will you also pray with me this morning?
Lord Jesus, we praise you for your faithfulness
and your goodness to us
that you have shown to us in Jesus Christ
as we have just been singing.
And Lord, now as we turn to your word,
we pray that we would see your goodness
in your creative acts, Lord,
and in the way that you have made us as human beings.
Lord, I ask that you would help me this morning.
Lord, that you would help all of us
to understand your word,
to know its truth,
to receive it as good,
to rejoice in your plan for us.
Lord, and that as we do this,
that we might know you more
and what it means to know
how to live in a relationship with you.
God, be with us, I pray.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Sam Smith is a Grammy award-winning singer.
Sam announced this week
that they are asking to be called
by the pronouns they and them,
having also publicly made known
that they have embraced
a non-binary gender identity.
If you are a follower
of the ABC show Bachelors in Paradise,
you may know that they also had
a groundbreaking event this week
as the first same-sex proposal occurred
with contestants Demi Burnett
proposing to Christian Hagerty.
These were simply a few of the headlines
in the news this week
as I open up CNN.com,
perusing the news outlets
to know what's going on in the world.
And as keen observers have noticed,
the fact of these news stories
and their proliferation
remind us of the rapidity of change
in our culture's views
on some of the most core aspects
of human identity,
our gender,
our understanding of relationships,
of sex,
and marriage.
And these questions, of course,
have always been there
in every society throughout history.
But we might fairly say
that in the last 30 years,
these topics were not discussed
and certainly not celebrated
as openly as they are today.
These important issues, of course,
are not simply out in the media,
but it is in our everyday lives as well.
These are issues that affect our neighbors,
our classmates,
our coworkers.
And it's not just out there either.
It's in here, isn't it?
Some of you in this room
have wrestled with questions
of gender and identity,
of sexual orientation and attraction,
of understanding marriage
and relationships.
These are important conversations
and we need to address them
with kind thoughtfulness,
with courageous compassion
and straightforward clarity.
And we begin this morning
by confessing that the church
has not always done this well.
And the church is not always
doing it well today.
And yet it brings us
to the question that we have,
which is,
what does God's word say to us
today
about human identity,
particularly about gender
and marriage?
I did not pick this topic
because I thought it was time
to preach on this.
I picked this topic
because as we come to Genesis,
Genesis 2,
verses 18 through 25,
these are the very things
that this passage addresses.
And so as we continue to that,
if you want to turn with me there,
we'll look at that.
We're going to start in verse 18.
And remember where we're at in Genesis.
Genesis 1 was this cosmic view
from God's perspective
of the creation of all things.
And then Genesis 2
was this zoom in
on the creation,
particularly of humanity
and of male and female
and what that looks like.
And the specifics
of God's created order,
which in the end
he declared
to be very good
are the things
we're going to explore today.
To try to understand
why God declares
these things
profoundly good
and reflective
of God's goodness
in our lives.
So let's look at Genesis 2.
We're going to start
in verse 18.
And we'll read
to the end of the chapter.
Then the Lord God said,
It is not good
that the man should be alone.
I will make him a helper
fit for him.
Now out of the ground,
the Lord God had formed
every beast of the field
and every bird of the heavens
and brought them to the man
to see what he would call them.
And whatever the man called
every living creature,
that was its name.
The man gave names
to all livestock
and to the birds
of the heavens
and to every beast
of the field.
But for Adam,
there was not found
a helper fit for him.
So the Lord God
caused a deep sleep
to fall upon the man
and while he slept,
took one of his ribs
and closed up its place
with flesh.
And the rib
that the Lord God
had taken
from the man
he made into a woman
and brought her
to the man.
And then the man said,
This at last
is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh
and she shall be called woman
because she was taken out of man.
Therefore a man shall leave
his father and his mother
and hold fast to his wife
and they shall become
one flesh.
And the man
and his wife
were both naked
and were not ashamed.
What do we learn
in this passage
about gender
and sex
and marriage?
And is God's plan
really good
for us?
It's a big question.
We're going to try
to tackle as much of it
as we can this morning.
Here's how we're going
to do it.
We're going to look
at one story.
We're going to look
at two topics
and then we're going
to ask three questions
and then one final word.
So if you're taking notes,
there's your outline.
One story,
two topics,
three questions
and a final word.
Yep, we can do this.
Alright.
So, first of all,
the story.
We have to recognize
God brings this to us
in a narrative.
This is not a didactic
procedural description
but a narrative story.
And what we've seen
so far in this story
is that God
is the creator
of everything
and everything he created
in its original form
was good.
And the pinnacle,
the high point,
the end point
of his creation
was the creation
of humanity.
Uniquely among
all of his creations
made in his image
and made to rule over
all of the rest
of his creation.
To bear his image
by reflecting his character
and his nature
and representing him
in the world.
And in this whole story
we've seen this
fundamental givenness,
God is the creator
and he has made
the world the way
he has chosen to do so
in order to reveal himself
and to display his glory.
And this is a good plan
that he has made
and we as his creations
are meant to explore
and understand
and enjoy his goodness
in this creation.
So, having said that,
this is the background
of the story.
We come to Genesis 2,
verse 18.
And if we're reading carefully,
we have come to
a very shocking moment
in verse 18.
The Lord God said,
it is not good.
How could this be?
How could anything
in this creation
be not good?
God has said,
everything is good
and it flows
from his goodness
and there's been no hint
of any not goodness
until now
and then suddenly
there is this problem
that presents itself.
It is not good
for man
and in this case,
man is now
a gendered being,
not just humanity broadly,
but the gendered,
the male part
of the human species.
It is not good
for him to be alone.
And God states
his intention.
I will create
a helper
fit for him.
A helper,
the word is azer,
is a strong ally,
a companion,
one who comes alongside,
the way that God
comes alongside
his nation Israel
throughout his history
to be their strength
and to help them
to accomplish
all that he intends.
God says,
I will create
a helper
and a helper fit.
What does that mean
by fit?
What we see
as the story goes on,
God is unpacking
what fit means.
Fit might be
also translated
corresponding to
of the same type,
but we'll see
how this,
because what happens
is that God
then brings
the animals
that he's created
to Adam
and Adam
in his image
of Godness
gives them names,
seeing who they are
and in expressing
his dominion
over creation
by doing this.
but the point
of that
is not really
to talk about that.
The point of that
is to show
that none of them
are fit
for Adam.
None of them,
though they have
God's image in them
or God's glory
displayed
in a broad way,
the way nature
displays God's nature,
they are not
in God's image
and they are not
fit
for male humanity.
They are not
a companion
for them.
And so,
God says,
now that you
have seen this Adam,
that none of these
are fit,
this is where we see
in the end
of chapter 20,
none of them
are according
to his kind,
so there was not
a helper fit
for him,
and he puts
the man to sleep,
and he takes
part of his body
out
and from that body
he then forms
of the same essence,
creates woman
to be with man.
Now,
we have to,
one commentator
says this,
as we think about
how this happens,
commentating on
this helper
being
what the relationship
is.
Man does not have
a governmental
priority,
but a mutual
dependence.
Man is created
first with a woman
to help the man,
not vice versa.
However,
this does not mean
an ontological
superiority
or inferiority.
The word
signifies her
essential contribution,
not inadequacy.
What God
is creating
is not
a maid
to clean up
your dirty socks,
or a cook
to make sure
you have a meal.
What God
is creating
is a partner
and a companion
and a necessary
help
so that
male and female
together
might carry out
God's word.
Notice that
Matthew Henry,
the old-time
commentator,
makes a great
comment about
what part
of the body
did God
pull out.
Not
made out
of the top
of his head
so that
she might
be over him,
not out
of his feet
to be trampled
upon by him,
but out of his
side to be
equal with him,
under his arm
to be protected
by him,
and near his
heart to be
loved by him.
God chose
a rib
to signify
the along-sideness
of the creation
of woman
to be man.
And then,
as he wakes
up,
God brings
her to him
the way a
father brings
his daughter
down the aisle
in a wedding
ceremony.
And like
many grooms,
Adam responds
with a song,
with a poem,
finally,
I saw
the inadequacy
of all
these other
things.
Now,
this is the
one that
I was made
for.
This is the
one that I
need.
Bone of my
bones and
flesh of my
flesh,
I will give
her a name
woman.
That means
that she's
with me
and we
together
are going
to do
what God
has called
us to do.
She is
my companion,
my counterpart.
And through
her,
God will
allow us
together to
fulfill the
command to
be fruitful
and to
multiply and
have dominion
over the
earth.
What a
good news
this is.
And then
the narrator
jumps in
in verses
24 and
25.
He's been
telling the
story about
Adam and
Eve and
then you
see he
steps back
and he
takes a
narrator role
for two
verses.
He says,
therefore a
man shall
leave his
father and
his mother
and hold
fast to
his wife
and they
shall become
one flesh.
And the
man and
his wife
were both
naked and
were not
ashamed.
Do you
notice how
incongruous
this is?
Because Adam
and Eve don't
have parents.
There is no
leaving to be
done.
This is not
about Adam
and Eve in
the garden,
the creation
of the first
man and
woman.
This is about
the pattern
that is being
established in
this text that
male and
female would
live out this
calling together.
And it has
these beautiful
pictures.
This marriage is
meant to be for
a lifetime.
They leave all
other loyalties to
make this their
primary loyalty.
And they will
hold fast to one
another in
commitment to one
another till
death do us
part as the
old vows say
it.
and they
become one
flesh.
And certainly
this is a
biological union
where procreation
is happening
and where joy
and serving
and giving
pleasure to
one another
is a part
of this
incredible good
gift that God
has given us.
But it's more
than just a
one flesh
biologically.
It's a one
flesh that
creates a new
unity.
Think about
this.
God took a
rib out of
Adam to
create another
being and now
he's calling
them to come
back together
in a kind of
union and a
kind of unity
that is full
orbed, that
encompasses all
of life.
Where two
individuals come
together and
God creates a
new one of a
marriage.
God is
separated so
that he might
pair them
together in a
unity.
And it is
almost
unbelievably
beautiful.
Verse 25 is
one of the most
shocking verses
in this whole
passage.
They were
naked.
They were not
ashamed.
And we don't
know what that
looks like.
Because we don't
live on the
right side of the
fall of humanity
to know what that
could actually be
like.
But it is a
beautiful thing.
this story points
to God in his
fatherly care and
his creative majesty
making humanity
male and female
gendered and
bringing them
together in
marriage.
Complimentary
companionship for
the calling that
God has put on
them.
these then are our
two topics aren't
they?
The story has
brought us to
this.
So now we have
two topics before
us.
One is gender and
one is marriage.
How do we think
about these things?
And I am sure that
you are already
sitting there with a
list of questions.
Here is what I want
to encourage you to
do.
Write them down on
your bulletin.
Put them in your
notes.
Hopefully we will get
to some of them
today.
And if we don't
by the end of the
time I at least
will have given you
some guideposts on
where you can go to
think through some of
them.
Alright?
So topic number one.
Gender as God's
good gift.
What God has done in
creating humanity is
gendered male and
female is described
as good.
And what I want to
do is describe that
goodness as best as I
can so we can parse
that out.
First, this gender
has an equality to
it.
Genesis 1 says he
created them.
Let's look at it to
make sure I get it
right.
So God created man in
his own image.
In the image of God
he created him.
Male and female he
created them.
And in this poetic
form he says there's
this humanity that God
is creating and man is
a generic term for
humanity until the
third line where he
changes the words to
say male and female
he created them.
And together then they
receive the commission
and the calling to live
out to have dominion to
be fruitful and multiply.
They're both in God's
image.
Both are blessed and
both are commissioned.
And then in Genesis 2 we
see that God is
reinforcing their
equality.
The woman is made out
of the same stuff as
man.
She is not lesser.
She is not other.
She is not different.
She is of the same
essence and substance
as the man.
She is distinct from
all the other animals
of creation in this
way.
And the story highlights
this.
And we need to start
with this equality
because we know in
human history how
easily the distinction
of gender has been
used as a basis
for abuse.
We know how
quickly we
oppress those
who are different
from us by making
them other.
Making ourselves
bigger by making
others smaller.
And gender is one
of the ways that we
have done this.
That is not what God
has created in this
story.
That is not what God
has done.
And there is no
room for hatred.
There is no room for
dismissing women as
lesser in value in
society.
And we must
acknowledge that even
the church at times,
maybe more so than not,
has struggled to do
this well and to honor
men and women equally as
co-heirs and as co-laborers
in the gospel.
It is in the Bible.
And yet we have failed
to live it out often in
our culture and in our
church broadly.
So we need to recognize
that this equality is an
essential starting point
for understanding gender
because then the next
move is to see that there
is distinction.
There is a male and
female.
And this is a part of a
pattern that you see more
broadly in God's creative
act.
When he created the world
back in Genesis 1, he
created light and dark
that go together.
He created day and night
that are complementary,
distinct things that are
paired together.
He created sky and sea.
He created land, dry land
and water.
And all of these things are
God separating and creating
distinction so that there
might be a unified whole
that is the beauty of God's
creation.
And this is exactly what God
is doing with male and
female.
He's saying humanity is not
an androgynous, genderless
being, but humanity is this
beautiful pairing of two
distinct genders.
Not interchangeable, but
distinct from one another.
And we see this in the way.
We see that man was created
first and that the woman
was created to be his
alongside companion, his
helper.
We see that man was given
the command to leave his
parents and to cleave to his
wife uniquely.
So we see throughout this
story that God is making
these distinctions.
And of course, it's not that
hard to stop and to say,
as we look around, men and
women actually look different.
Our gender is a biological
reality.
The Olympics recognize this.
When there's a hundred meter
dash, there's a men's event and
a women's event.
That reflects some of the
biological distinction.
Now, we need to be extremely
careful how we think through
and apply those things.
But that is a part of the
givenness of how God has
created humanity, male and
female, with distinct gender.
So just a brief pause to
apply this.
We must recognize that in our
culture, and this is not the
first time it's happened in
human history, but in our
culture today, there are
impulses to erase gender from
our sense of human identity.
There are ways in which gender
distinctions are being
minimized.
And some of it comes from a
good heart to overcome the
discrimination and the
oppression that has happened.
And some of it comes from a
desire to really have
equality be established.
And yet, we must recognize
this is not God's plan.
Another headline this week I
saw was an article about
raising babies.
Maybe you're familiar with
this.
Some are seeking to raise
their children as genderless
children.
out of fear of imposing upon
them some gendered stereotype
or expectations that would
feel oppressive to them.
This is just one example,
perhaps, of how our culture is
thinking about these things.
And we need to see that that is
a departure from God's creative
purpose.
From God's creative order.
So we have equality and we have
distinction, but we finally have
the complementary nature.
That, in fact, the two of them are
meant to fit together.
Right?
They're meant to go together.
There is an inseparableness as well
as a distinctiveness about male and
female.
Clearly, this happens in biology.
We don't have men and women.
We don't have children.
We cannot be fruitful and multiply
if we don't have men and women.
And even in a modern science,
when we can do some of that
finagling and test tubes and
outside of human bodies,
we still need men and women.
We still need to create the
appropriate products so that we can
actually have procreation.
But, of course, it is much more
than that.
The complementary nature is much
more than that.
Because this doing it together,
this companionship, this partnership
that God has created has an
interdependence.
And now here's the challenge.
What does that actually look like?
Does it look like boys like trucks
and girls like dolls?
Or boys like blue and girls like pink?
Friends, I'll just tell you,
they're not biblical categories.
They may be true of your children.
They may not.
They may be true of you.
They may not.
They are not biblical categories.
If you look back and you think about it,
think about how even the expectations
of what gendered expression looks like,
how it's changed.
300 years ago in England,
men wore wigs and hosiery.
I mean, just to say it,
like it's different, right?
The cultural expression of manhood and womanhood
has been a moving target
throughout all of human history.
You may be guessing,
I'm hedging on this.
I'm not going to give you lists
of what masculinity and femininity look like.
You know, what I do want to tell you a story
about this.
And that was that I came to faith in Christ
right before my senior year in high school.
And I went off to college
having never thought about any of these things
or what the Bible has to say.
And I was involved in a great church
and a great campus ministry
that really made me think through
what is the Bible saying?
How do I live under it?
And I was confronted by a view of gender
that I had never really examined
or thought about before.
But you know, in the context of that,
I had three married couples.
Actually, one guy was single most of the time
and then he got married near the end.
There were three couples though that I saw
that all embraced this distinction,
equality, and complementarity in gender.
And yet each one of those couples
had different personalities.
They had different dynamics
in the way that they lived out the distinctions,
in the way that they led and served
and helped one another
to be the people that God wanted them to be
and to do the things that God had called them to do.
And the sum was greater than their parts
in each case.
But if you talk to those three women,
there might be some broad characteristics
that they would say,
these are things that we feel are important.
But man, they are so different
that for me to stand here
and try to give you a short list of,
well, women are like this
and men are like this
and this is the way it should be,
I can promise you
that at least 20% of you would say
that doesn't fit.
Because the breadth of the creative work
that God has done in creating each one of us
is broad enough.
And what I want to do is,
rather than give you that list,
I want to invite you to a conversation.
A conversation with one another
about what does that look like in your life?
I want to call you to a pursuit.
If you are a woman,
to ask yourself,
how am I thankful
that God has created me, a woman?
And in what way is that unique?
If I am a man,
how do I thank God
that he has made me a man?
And in what ways
does that call me uniquely to follow him?
And in our marriages
and in our relationships
outside of marriage,
to think how do we honor one another
in the distinctiveness of our gender
as brothers and sisters in Christ?
Much more could be said,
but the clock is ticking.
I'm only on my second topic.
I've got three questions to go
and it's 11.15.
So, let's keep moving.
I will say this.
There is already a great Sunday school
on our website
and there will be another Sunday school
coming up later this fall
that will address some of these issues more so.
Second topic, marriage.
I want to highlight four things
that God says about marriage
in this passage.
As we see that when God created
gendered beings,
he then brought them together
into this union.
Okay?
This was the very central piece.
Gender and marriage
were tied explicitly together
and this leads to the first point
that I want to say.
As one commentator said it,
it is notable that there is only one Eve.
There are not multiple Eves,
nor is there another male,
but there is monogamy
and heterosexuality
built into the created order
of marriage.
This is the way God has made it to be.
That the woman is a counterpart to man
and together in their gender distinctiveness,
their marriage is meant to display
all that God has for them in marriage.
This is the pattern.
I know this is controversial.
I know I just threw a grenade into the room.
Stay with me.
We're going to add,
the questions are going to address
some of the things
that just jumped up in your mind
about what about,
so hold on.
But that's the first thing I want to say.
Second thing is that it is
a committed relationship.
God's intention is that
a man shall leave his father and mother
and shall cleave to his wife
and come together in this committed union
that is intended to be unbreakable
apart from death.
This is why the scripture says
that God hates divorce.
And I know that this is a very fallen world
and there are lots of things for us to be said
about how that plays out in the fallen world,
but we want to see that God's created purpose in this
was a committed lifelong relationship
and that this is good,
that it would have a priority
over all other relationships,
familial or otherwise.
Recognize how countercultural
that would have been in the ancient Near East
where your wife would be more important
than your parents or your tribe or your clan.
And it is a pattern that is universal in creation.
It's for all people.
So,
we have the gendered heterosexuality,
we have commitment,
third, we have union.
for one flesh,
for sex and companionship.
And we need to recognize
that God gave us
this incredibly powerful gift
of the act of human intercourse
as a gift to be done
within the safe confines
of that committed relationship
with one another.
this is a good gift
that God has given us,
but it is not for all places
and not all contexts.
It is given as a part of this picture
that the man will leave his father and mother
and cleave to his wife
and they shall become one flesh.
This is the context
in which we are meant
in God's created purpose
for us to live out
this desire
that so dominates our culture
and our world today.
More on that later.
Let me be just as explicit.
Therefore,
outside of a heterosexual marriage,
it is not good
for us to be sexually active,
whether that's
outside of the commitment of marriage,
outside of the heterosexuality of marriage,
outside of the union of marriage.
It is not good.
Then the fourth thing
that I want you to see
is that in this context,
in its created goodness,
it was a beautiful thing.
Adam rejoiced.
His heart leapt out of his chest
when he saw the one
that he was made for
and who was made for him.
Not to rule over,
but because finally,
this one that was like him
was brought to him.
And it was beautiful.
And they were naked
and they were unashamed.
What a beautiful picture that is
of a relationship
and how our hearts long
for that kind of acceptance
and transparency
and intimacy.
So this is God's ordained social unit.
It is the fundamental unit
of human society and creation
and the means of carrying out the commands.
So how do we apply this?
Well, first of all,
in our world today,
we need to clarify
what marriage means
and then we need to celebrate
what God does mean by marriage.
We need to see
that heterosexual, monogamous,
faithful, lifelong marriage
is a good thing.
We are meant to cultivate it
and invest in it.
And if you are single,
it's okay for you to long for it.
It's also okay
if you don't long for it right now.
We'll get to that.
That's one of my questions.
We'll get there.
But to value it,
to support it
in your friends who are married,
to know about it
so that you can do so.
We ought to rejoice
that God created marriage
in its goodness
and in its original form.
Two really brief advertisements.
In your bulletin,
there is an announcement.
On November 2nd,
we are having a marriage seminar
here at this church.
Alistair Groves,
who works for CCEF,
is coming to speak on marriage.
There's a whole description
in your flyer.
Think about,
for those of you
who are married
or maybe are close
to being married
or even want to just support
those who are married,
consider coming,
setting aside that Saturday
to come and be a part of it.
There's also an announcement
on a separate page
about Family Life.
Family Life is a national ministry
that runs this thing
called Weekend to Remember
and they're running
some great discounts.
If you are interested
in going to this
as a married couple
just to do some tune-up work
on your relationship,
to get away
and to focus for a little while
on the Lord
and on one another,
these are some great opportunities
for you to invest in it.
Okay.
Having considered then
our two topics
of gender and marriage
and having stepped on
a number of landmines
along the way,
there are a lot of questions,
aren't there?
And fundamentally,
the questions arise
because what we've been talking about
up to this point
is God's original good creation
before the fall of humanity.
And what that means
is that we have never experienced it
the way God intended it
in its fullness
because the fall of humanity,
our rebellion against God
as a human race,
our therefore alienation from him,
and our sin impulse
to go away from his plan
has created all sorts of problems
whereby this created goodness
feels like a zephyr
that we can barely grasp onto
maybe at moments.
We live in a fallen world
where this original goodness
has not been our experience
for many of us.
So what about questions?
What about gender dysphoria?
What about same-sex attraction?
And what about singleness?
There are more.
Sorry, they didn't make the list.
We won't be here.
If I wanted to keep going,
we'll be here till one
and we don't want to do that.
So, but these are the three things.
And again, I want to reemphasize,
these are questions
that are not about they,
out there,
those people who struggle with this.
But this is something
that is a we question,
that we as human beings
will struggle with.
And there will be people
sitting next to you in the pew
who may be struggling
with these questions.
So, first of all,
what about gender dysphoria?
For those of you
who are unfamiliar with this term,
it can be defined as this,
a marked incongruence
between one's experienced
or expressed gender
and their assigned gender,
that is their gender
of a child at birth
that's determined
by their biological parts,
their assigned gender
of at least six months duration.
That's the official definition
of gender dysphoria.
Someone who feels like
the body that they have
doesn't match the gender
that they feel.
That might be the more,
the simpler way to say it.
That there's a dissonance
or a disconnect
between those things.
How do we think about this?
Again, there's much to be said.
I'm going to give you
a really brief framework.
Here's the thing.
The way we want to view
these questions
is through the framework
of the biblical storyline
of creation, fall,
redemption, and glory.
So we've talked about
the created goodness of gender.
Now we're talking about
someone who's experiencing
a fallen disconnect
or dissonance
where the gender
of their body,
their biological sex,
doesn't match
their psyche
and their soul
and their self-perception.
What do we do with that?
Sam Smith said in his post
that he was tired
of being at war
with his gender.
Isn't that an interesting phrase
to describe his experience?
And we must understand
that this is real
because the fall
affects us holistically.
It affects every part of us.
For some,
this will be a biologically
sourced reality
that something
in their brain chemistry,
something in their hormones,
something is where
it just doesn't fit.
For some,
it may be caused
by trauma,
by broken relationships,
by cultural stereotypes
that have felt oppressive
to them,
where this fit
of their internal being
and their biological body
just does not work.
And it is a deep
and difficult challenge.
And we need to start
by being compassionate
to them.
Think about
what it would be like
if when people look at you,
they see something
and you feel like
that's not me.
What they see
is not who they feel
like they are.
How terrible
is that?
How difficult
is that?
How heartbreaking
is that?
So we need to recognize
that this is a reality
for some.
So how do we respond?
How do we walk through this?
First of all,
we need to go back
to the question
of God's givenness.
What has God
made us to be?
And then we also
need to say,
how is it that the fall
has warped
or shaped
or affected
my experience
of what might have
been a good thing?
Because we all experience
a little bit
of both of that, right?
There's still vestiges
of our created goodness
and then there's also
these places
where it's warped
and twisted
or where it's no longer
what it's supposed to be
and this dissonance
that we feel,
we think this should not be
and that's right.
It should not be.
This is not the way
it was meant to be.
So the church
needs to start
first with compassion
to seek to understand
rather than to fix people.
Secondly,
we need to start,
we need to affirm
the reality
of their experience
but then to help
bring to them
a biblical framework
of thinking through
how to interpret
their experience
through this creation
fall redemption pattern
so that they might
think about
what it is actually
that they're experiencing.
And third,
we need to recognize
that we need to love them
as fellow broken
human beings
who most of all
need the gospel,
who need Jesus Christ,
who need to find
an identity
deeper than their gender,
deeper than their bodies,
deeper than their things
in being in Christ
because this is what
they were made to be.
And that then
as that is established,
then they can begin
to think through
how then they respond
to this experience
that they have.
Friends,
there is a desire
and a plan
on God's part
that this dissonance
of gender dysphoria
will be restored.
But it may not be
in this life.
Some of us
will walk through this
and carry this dissonance
for the rest
of their lives.
But we do know
that one day
God will restore it.
We do know
that one day
in heaven
we will know
the gendered being
that we were created
to be apart
from the fall.
And in heaven
that dissonance
will be gone.
And just as there's
no more tears,
no more sorrow,
no more death,
so there will be
no more of this dissonance
and we will know
who we are
and we will be
fully known
by God
and loved
and celebrated.
There's lots more
to say about this.
There's a great book.
It's a starting place
for you
by Vaughn Roberts
called Transgender.
I recommend it.
It was on the bookstore
earlier this week
but it's sold out
right now.
So we'll get more.
So,
alright.
I'm already over time.
I gotta keep going.
Second,
what about
same-sex attraction
and marriage?
again,
think through this framework
of creation,
fall,
redemption,
right?
If we
were in Adam's shoes,
we would not experience
same-sex attraction.
God created
a goodness
of gender
and distinction
and attraction
that
was the original pattern.
and yet,
in our fallen world,
we recognize
that this is true
for some people,
for some of us.
We find that
our romantic
and sexual desire
does not gravitate
towards those
of the opposite gender
but of the same gender.
And some of this
may be biological
and some of it
may be environmental
and some of it
may be willful.
But we need to recognize
that
this is a reality
for many people.
And the challenge
of talking about
this in our culture
today
is that our culture
has so elevated
sex
in our culture
and made it
our primary identity
and a fundamental
human right.
Therefore,
we ought to be able
to have sex
with people
whenever we want to
and who we choose to
apart from any constraint
or any pattern
of God's plan
because that has been
a broader
cultural value
than when we talk
about this question
to talk about
any sort of limitation
or any constraint
on how we live this out
feels like it's oppression.
We need to recognize
that this is not
how God intended it
in the beginning.
And to submit
to his givenness
means that
there may be
some of us
people
who will never
experience
sexual union
with another human being
in this life
because they want
to live
within the constraints
of what God
has called them to.
And it might be
because of their
same-sex attraction
and their understanding
that this is not
God's plan for marriage
that they will live
a life of faithful
celibacy
until eternity.
Or it may be
that they will
and it may be too
that some of you
may be single
and have heterosexual
desires
and still live
in this calling
of being faithful
and abstinent
for your whole life.
There is no
plan
for same-sex marriage
in God's kingdom
and purposes.
God's plan
is for sexual
abstinence
outside of marriage
regardless of gender.
Now,
let me
one minute on this.
There can be
a whole other conversation
about how we engage
with our society
or our government
in how we think
about these things.
That is a separate
conversation
because I think
there's
and I think
that there's
an appropriate
diversity of views
even within the church
on how to navigate
that question.
What I have been
presenting to you
is this is
what God's word
says for God's people
and then we want
to think about
how does that apply
to the broader culture
and we need to do so
with a lot more
compassion
and a lot less
virulence
than we have
tended to do so.
So what about
our friends
who struggle
with these things?
Well,
if they don't know
Christ
then we love them
as fallen
and broken people
who are lost
and need Jesus.
We don't need
to fix
their
sexual orientation.
we don't need
to fix
their relationships
first.
We need to help
them see
that the life
and death
and resurrection
of Jesus
is their greatest
hope.
What about those
who do know Christ
who struggle
with these things?
Well, you know
what we need to do
with them?
We need to love
them as sinners
who experience
life as fallen
and broken
in the world
and who need
to be pointed
to their greatest
hope
which is
the forgiveness
of sins
and the new life
that they have
in Christ
that they might
grow in God's
grace
to live out
the life
that God
has called them
of faithfulness
to his plan
to engage
in his redemptive
purposes
in their lives
to be transformed
more and more
into the likeness
of God.
All right.
Washed and Waiting
by Wesley Hill
is a book
downstairs.
Be a great
book for you
to consider
in light of this.
The third one
and this flows
from what I just said
what about singleness?
Marriage is a central
motif
in the biblical
story
and in the creation
story
and we need
to recognize
that singleness
is a little bit
different from
these other things
because singleness
is not a result
of the fall.
Right?
Singleness
is a reality
in human existence
but it is not
per se
a result
of the fall
in the same way
that gender
confusion
or
same-sex
attraction
is.
What we need
to do
is to say
briefly
these things.
One,
marriage is a
dominant paradigm
that ought to be
celebrated
as essential
to the human
race
and to our
calling to live
it out.
However,
it is not
the purpose
for all of
God's people.
It is not
essential
and it is not
a second-hand
state.
Goodness gracious,
all we need to do
is to look at
Jesus Christ,
the God-man
who lived
a single life
and was not
sexually active
and was fully
displaying the glory
of God
in all that he did.
Not only do we see
that,
but we see
that he
commends
those who
choose singleness,
who become
eunuchs
for the sake
of the kingdom
of God,
who choose
singleness
for their
lifetime.
The apostle
Paul
in 1 Corinthians
7 seems to
say singleness
has a preference
because of the
single-mindedness
where you can
serve your life.
I was single
until I was 37.
I know the joy
of that focus.
I have also
experienced the joy
of living in a
family where now
I have a wife
and children
to take care of
and the joy
of taking care
of them
and there is
not a value
laid on one
of these
or the other
as greater.
They are both
good.
And in Luke
20 as the
Pharisees
sought to trap
Jesus in a
question about
leverant marriage
and how they
might,
what happens
in eternity,
Jesus says
this,
in heaven
there will be
neither marriage
nor the giving
in marriage.
you see
in God's
kingdom
in the end
of days
the kingdom
of God
is a community
of his children
and marriage
is a good
that we are
to celebrate
but we are
meant to be
a community
that is robust
enough for us
to find
companionship
and fellowship
and partnership
in the gospel
call that he
has placed
on us
as his people
as his church
and therefore
we should be
finding friendship
and we should
be finding
the church
to be a family
and we should
be finding
our identity
in Christ
to allow us
to joyfully
and patiently
and with
perseverance
live out God's
calling
for us
to be his
ambassadors
to be his
children
to be his
servants in the
world
together.
This is a
goodness
that we ought
to celebrate
and recognize.
We don't need
to pit singleness
and marriage
against one
another
and sometimes
a church
feels like
it only
talks about
marriage
and we live
in a world
where sometimes
we talk about
how terrible
marriage is
in.
We need
to bring
these things
into alignment
to what God
says which
is they are
both good
and they both
have their
place.
But this
brings me
then to my
final word
and I promise
we're almost
done here.
Why did God
create us
as gendered
beings with
marriage as a
central identity?
He did so
because in
these very
things we
display God
in the world.
In gender
we see
distinction
and equality
and complementarity
which points
to God
himself.
God who
in his
Godhead
is one
God in
three persons
of the same
essence but
differentiated in
person and
role.
And so
the son
proceeds from
the father
and the spirit
from the father
and the son
and there is
this ordering
and yet this
complementarity
and this unity
and part of the
reason why God
has created
gender is so
that we might
in some way
picture the
very nature
of our
triune God.
And if that's
the picture of
gender then
marriage then
throughout the
Bible becomes
this metaphor
this picture
of God's
relationship
with his
people.
And we
see this
in Isaiah
and we
see it
in Hosea
and we
see it
most fully
in Ephesians
chapter 5
where it's
laid out that
this is about
Christ and
the church
that our
marriages
picture
the relationship
between Christ
and the church
and finally
in Revelation
19 we see
that all of
this is going
towards a time
where we as
God's people
will be invited
to the marriage
supper of the
Lamb and we
will rejoice
and be glad
because God
has set his
love on us
like a bridegroom
sets his love
on his bride
to welcome him
and to celebrate
him and to
join with him
in an intimacy
we can't even
imagine and a
companionship that
will be beyond
our greatest
hopes and
desires.
This is what
God has created
when he created
gender and
marriage and
that's why
it's important
and that's
why it's worth
us thinking
carefully about
what it is.
The beauty of
the gospel
pictured in
gender and
marriage a
deeper union
a greater
intimacy a
fuller joy
and a
completeness as
we are joined
with Jesus
we will be
fully and
finally all
that God
will have us
to be.
Let's pray.
Lord we are
thankful to you
for your word
and we ask
that you would
Lord help us
to continue to
wrestle with
these things
Lord to
submit to
your word
and to
seek to
understand it
more fully.
Lord I pray
for those who
wrestle and
struggle Lord
with the way
that the fall
has affected
us.
Lord I pray
that we might
take these
things to the
cross and
take them to
one another
that we might
support and
encourage one
another in it.
God make us a
church that
displays your
glory in these
ways we pray in
Jesus name.
Amen.