The scripture reading comes from Isaiah chapter 56.
Please follow along on the screen, the bulletin, or on your own Bible.
Starting in verse 3, oh, there's no screen, so yeah, follow along on your bulletin or your own Bible, okay?
Starting in verse 3, we read,
Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say,
The Lord will surely separate me from his people.
And let not the eunuch said, Behold, I am a dry tree.
For thus says the Lord,
To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me, and hold fast my covenant,
I will give in my house and within my walls monuments and a name, better than sons and daughters.
I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.
This is the word of God.
Great, thank you, Soda.
Welcome, everybody, again.
My name is Chris.
If you don't know me, I'm one of the leaders here at Watermark.
Let's just pray together as we get into God's word.
Father, I just want to thank you that you're a God who really does know us.
You're a God who really does see us.
You're a God who really does care for us.
And you're a God who is really good.
And I pray this morning, Lord, your word would not just be a word which is in one ear and out the other ear,
but I pray, Lord, we would hear good news from you.
I pray that we would encounter you this morning.
I pray, Father, for those of us who, as we talk about singleness, Lord, those of us who are wrestling with this, I pray you would just minister to them.
I pray for those of us who this is a topic we don't really want to engage with or talk about.
Lord, I pray that you would open our ears to hear what you want to say.
And I pray, Father, that even as we are here in the safety of Hong Kong and we are so blessed in so many ways,
we also want to pray around the world.
We want to pray for Afghanistan at the moment, for the church there and the believers there.
Father, we pray that you would be their protection.
You would be their provision.
Father, we ask that you would let your name be known in that nation.
We pray, God, would you bring healing.
Would you bring deliverance in that place, Father?
Father, we ask.
But we know that you are good and we know that you are faithful and we know that you are sovereign.
So thank you, Lord, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Great.
So we're going through this series looking at a lot of hot topics of marriage, of sex.
We looked at cohabitation and transgender.
And today we're kind of carrying on.
We're not going light today.
We're looking at singleness.
And for some of you, you'll feel that this is a topic that is burning on your heart.
Some of you will feel like this is not a topic burning for you at all.
But I believe this is a topic for every single one of us to really listen to this morning.
And it's something that's really actually very precious on my own heart.
And even in our own family, we've really talked about this issue a lot with my wife over the years.
But I don't know if you know that actually singleness is a global issue at the moment.
There was a book that came out a little while ago by a guy called Robert Putnam.
It was called Bowling Alone.
And in it, he said, across America, people used to bowl in leagues.
He says now they bowl alone.
In Hong Kong, I don't know if you know the statistics, but actually about 30% of men, 30% of women are single.
And that is increasing dramatically, especially with the divorce rates increasing.
And in the church, this is actually can also be exacerbated quite a bit because the elephant in the room is that there is actually a 60-40% ratio of females to males.
And which means for many women, and I know talking to some of you, this is a real issue.
You know if you want to marry and you want to follow the scriptures call to marry someone who is a godly Christian guy,
it often feels like there's just not enough to go around.
And some people leave churches and some people even leave the faith over this very issue.
So this is a really pressing one for us as a church.
But as I was actually preparing this sermon, I've chatted to quite a number of the singles in the congregation.
And I also spoke to a journalist called Anna Broadway, who has actually just been going around the world,
visiting 41 countries, talking to over 300 singles for a book that she's publishing on singleness.
And so I'm going to share a few things that she said.
But actually one of the things that's just come across to the people that I've been talking with is that singleness is complicated.
Okay?
There's no one stereotypical single.
And by the way, every one of us, hands up who has never been single.
That's good.
There's no like birth arranged marriages or anything like that going on.
Like every one of us has been single.
And if you live long enough and outlive your spouse, every one of us will also be single.
Which means that this sermon is for everyone.
And so the different kinds of singleness that we can have are multitude.
There are dating singles.
There are what I call career singles.
Career singles, they kind of married their jobs.
And so career has kind of become everything.
And for some of them, they kind of wake up in their 30s and realize that the pool of their options has shrunk.
And then they decide whether they continue to be career singles.
Or maybe they might become what I call reluctant singles.
Those who want to get married but for some reason or other, they just haven't yet.
And then there are functional singles.
People who are married like, for example, domestic helpers.
But actually live apart from their spouses and are functionally single.
And then there's others who are vocational singles.
People who have chosen to be single like priests and nuns and maybe some missionaries.
And then there are what I call burnt singles.
People who have either through divorce or widowhood or bad dating experience just don't want a partner.
And then there are others who I call no choice singles.
Maybe because of disability or because of same-sex attraction and following scripture's call for them to remain celibate.
Celibate in life.
And we could go on.
Do you see?
Singleness is a multitude of things.
Which means actually in this sermon today, I cannot address everyone and every issue.
Because singleness for a 20-year-old compared to singleness for a 70-year-old looks incredibly different.
But where we're going to start and where we want to go is in this beautiful passage in Isaiah 56.
Because this passage actually comes after Isaiah 53, which is all about a suffering king who's going to come and lay down his life for people.
Taking their sins, which we know is Jesus.
And then chapter 55, which we read earlier, is an invitation for in the light of Jesus and what he's done for everyone to come to him and to find life in him.
And then chapter 56 expands that invitation out to the people that everyone thought were excluded from society.
To foreigners and to eunuchs.
And eunuchs are people, well, I don't have to go into the details.
But they were the singles of the day.
They were the no-choice singles.
No possibility of marriage or of having children.
And Isaiah 56, verse 7 says this.
Sorry, not verse 7.
Verse 3 says this.
Let not the eunuch say, behold, I am a dry tree.
Now just think for a minute.
Why would he say that?
Because in a culture which is dominated by the biological family,
where it sees kind of marriage and having kids as the normal trajectory of life.
You know, you're born, you grow up, you get married, you know, you have kids, then you retire, your kids then look after you,
and then you die surrounded by your family.
That's kind of the narrative arc that many people live.
That's what people think is a fruitful life.
And in Hong Kong, actually, what we do is we kind of add a stage in there, which is like,
but don't get married until you've got a stable income and you've got a good career and, you know,
you've finished your studies and all those kind of things.
And so actually, even in Hong Kong, once you get to kind of the late 20s,
there's this five to ten-year window where a kind of marriageable period.
And if you go beyond that, then often it feels like you become a leftover man or woman,
you know, where you're just coming home to either a darkened flat eating cup noodles by yourself
or still living with your parents in your 65.
That's kind of the image that we have, isn't it?
And so that's the idea of being a dry tree without children, without this family around you.
No name to pass on, feeling shamed in society.
And so what often happens is well-meaning relatives and particularly church friends as well
come along and they say things like,
have you got anybody yet?
And like, let me hook you up with someone.
And then there's this extra pressure that comes on.
And for women, the biological clock is ticking.
And often when every wedding, you know, we had a great wedding yesterday with Zee and Helen,
but every wedding can get you thinking about what's wrong with me.
Am I too ugly?
Am I too independent?
Am I too poor?
Am I too successful?
What's going on with me?
And many of us feel that shame.
We feel nameless.
We feel like a dry tree.
And in response to this kind of traditional narrative, actually, modern culture has given
something else.
It says it's not just about loneliness, although it has that.
Singleness is also about liberation.
I don't know if you know the actor Michael Douglas.
He said, being single is pretty good.
It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.
Somebody else said, single is the opportunity to live life on your terms and not apologize.
You know, it's like, I'm free to do what I want, any old time, any old how, video games
till 2 a.m., constant traveling, focus on your career or education, just you do you, liberation
from the chains of responsibility and marriage.
And scripture comes to us, and this passage is going to come to us and say, singleness
is not about loneliness.
It's not about liberation.
It's about recognizing a few things.
And the first thing that it's about recognizing is about recognizing that in Christ we have
a new identity.
So that's my first point.
Look at me again.
Isaiah 56.
It says this, let not the eunuch say I'm a dry tree.
To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast to
my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than
sons and daughters.
It's a name that won't be cut off at all.
You see, the people of Israel were formed out of a promise to Abraham that he would be the
descendant of many nations, of a great nation.
And that promise was to be passed on through children.
And just as in Chinese culture, identity, one's identity and one's honor was found in
being able to bear children and pass on your name and then be part of this great family.
And so belonging to this people in covenant relationship with God and with each other was
expressed actually through keeping the Sabbath.
And the thing was eunuchs were excluded from this community.
They couldn't pass on or share in this blessing of the family that God had for them.
They were that dry tree.
But God says to them, in the light of Jesus coming, for those who trust him, for those
who make him their God, you have a status change.
And it's not a Facebook status change.
He says, you're not a dry tree.
You're not abandoned to a life of lonely misery.
Instead, you have a name.
And it's an everlasting name.
And a monument, let me say, a place in my family, in my presence.
That's what the house and walls are about.
It's about the temple of God where his presence dwells.
You've got a seat of honor in the table.
You see, you know, in biological families, you know, we put pictures of our kids on the
wall, you know, and we show them.
We say, look at my Johnny or whoever it is.
We have pride and honor in that, don't we?
And what happens, though, after a few generations where you've kids and then you've got the parents
on the wall and all those pictures, you actually forget about, like, your great, great, great,
great grandparents.
Does any of you remember them?
I don't.
But actually, what God is saying here is, in God's family, on his wall is a picture with your name on it.
It's your picture.
And it's a place of honor.
And he says it's more honored than sons and daughters because you've been bought by the blood of Jesus.
So you have a pride of place if you are single or if you are married.
Because he loves to show off to the world those who are his.
And you know what?
He'll never forget you.
You will always be remembered.
Which means this.
In Christ, your primary identity, if you are married, is not married.
If you are single, your primary identity in Christ is not single.
It's not shamed.
It's not anything else.
It's beloved, honored, secure.
That's who you are in God's family through faith in Christ,
which means the church should be the one place in all of society
where a lot of those invisible, excluding barriers between marrieds and singles are broken down.
You know, we have more in common between marrieds and singles
than we have difference in the family of Christ.
Did you know that?
Which means then that actually, we also need to be aware of how we unwittingly put up barriers.
You know, as a single, I used to sit in groups with marrieds who had kids.
And do you know what they talked about all the time?
It wasn't the weather.
It was their kids.
And do you know how actually excluding that can feel as a single?
You know, if every time a single who's in their 50s,
we see them and we think,
how sad, let me try and find someone that they can be with,
without actually asking them where they're up to,
what we're actually saying is,
we're saying your primary identity is marital and I need to fix that,
rather than your primary identity is in Christ.
So actually, as marrieds and singles,
we actually need to get together and talk together
to find out what are the things that actually create barriers between us.
So that actually we can truly be a community
where we have a name which is better than sons and daughters,
it's better than married, it's better than single,
it means we're in Christ and we're His.
That's the first thing we have.
We have a new identity in Christ.
Second thing, we have a new vision.
And here, 700 years later,
the Apostle Paul picks up on this vision
of the eunuchs being included.
And Paul, by the way, is single.
And he doesn't see his new identity in Christ as being loneliness
or even just liberation for his own self,
but he sees this new vision for his own singleness.
And here's what he says.
1 Corinthians 7, 7.
He says,
I wish all were as myself am.
He says,
I wish everyone was single like me.
Now, by the way,
he's not saying marriage is bad.
In Ephesians,
he creates this amazing picture of Christ and the church
as being this glorious gospel picture of what marriage is about.
He's not.
He's big on marriage.
He's also not saying that singleness is great because of all the personal benefits I get for myself.
You know, all the extra time or money I have for myself.
He's not saying that because actually, to be honest,
sometimes if you're single,
it feels like you have less time and less money.
Like, it's much harder to get a mortgage if you're single in Hong Kong.
It's sometimes you work longer hours because you don't have the family reason to go home.
So you just keep working.
Some of us,
well,
it's not time.
It's not just money.
It's also sex, right?
No sex.
And actually,
some of us who are single think that sex is all rosy in marriage,
and it's not.
But actually,
at least you get to have it sometimes.
So Paul is not going this beautiful vision,
I want you to be like me because it's so free for me.
But here's what he says.
He says,
each has his own gift from God.
One of one kind and one of another.
And we carry on in the whole chapter,
but I'm going to stop there.
He says,
he's talking about,
he says,
singleness and marriage are gifts.
Some of us think,
I hope there's a returns policy on that gift.
But what do you do with a gift?
You receive it with gratitude.
Some of us think,
well,
but I don't have the gift of singleness
because I want to get married.
Paul says,
that's not the point.
It's not about your desires here.
That's not what he's talking about.
It's about your present circumstances and situation.
That's what he's talking about.
So if you are married,
you have the gift of marriage.
Some of us hope that we have the gift of singleness.
But you have the gift of marriage.
If you are single,
you have the gift of singleness.
And it can change.
If you're married,
a spouse may die
and you become single again.
If you're single,
you can get married.
It's not necessarily a fixed condition.
But we have different gifts
at different times.
And you can wrestle with a gift.
If you're single,
you can desire to be married.
That's a good desire.
He's not saying,
don't desire it.
But what our tendency can be,
whether you're married or single,
is to look at everything that you don't have
rather than everything that you do.
To look at the whole rather than the donut,
if you know that analogy.
And what can happen is bitterness can creep into our hearts
and we end up with this state of actually saying
to the gift God has given,
God, you're not good.
God, I can't trust you.
God, you're not loving to me with this gift.
Page Benton Brown says this.
He says,
I'm not a single
because I'm too spiritually unstable
to deserve a husband.
Nor too spiritually mature to need one.
I'm single because God is good
and this is his best for me.
Some of us need to hear that.
Scripture says God so loved you
that he gave his only son for you,
that he also gave a gift of singleness to you right now
for this season.
It's not always easy.
But can you trust him that he's actually good
and he's loving you with this situation right now?
But if this is the gift,
what is the gift for?
If it's not just for your own personal benefit,
well, the word gift
is actually the word charisma,
which is the same word for spiritual gift
in the rest of Corinthians.
And what are spiritual gifts?
Do you remember we looked at the chocolate cake
like a few weeks ago?
They're gifts of grace
given to us
for the benefit of others.
Smithhurst,
I think that's how you pronounce his name,
says this.
The world champions the single life
because of all you can do for yourself.
The Bible champions the single life
because of all you can do for others.
That's very powerful
because marriage pictures
the depth of Christ's love for the church
by sacrificing your desires for one person.
Singleness pictures the gospel
and the breadth of Christ's love
where you can sacrifice your desires
for many others.
You know,
you may not have more money
if you're singles.
You may not even have more time.
But what you do have
probably is more flexibility.
I spoke to Anna Broadway
and she said in all of her research
of what she had done,
she said,
as I've gone around the world,
the most contented singles
I have ever met
are not those who don't wrestle
with singleness,
but those who have a deep sense
of mission.
You know,
I've got single friends here in Hong Kong,
I've got single friends in the UK,
who are at the forefront
of missional justice.
They've even moved
into other communities
to be able to reach out
to low-income people.
I've got friends
who are actively discipling others
and using their time
to do one-on-one Bible study
to engage with those
who are hurting,
those who are sick,
in all kinds of ways.
That's something that both
marrieds and singles
should be doing,
but you've got way more flexibility
if you're single
because you don't have to do
kids' homework
and you don't have to wake up
for like kids' nap times
and all that kind of stuff.
You've just got more flexibility.
And that's why
Paul says,
I wish you guys were like me
because he's got this
driving missional heart
that he wants the gospel
to go out
all around the world,
which he says,
I wish you were like me.
You know,
the missional justice
in Watermark,
we need singles
to be right at the forefront
of helping marriage
to actually engage with that
because you can actually
forge a way for that
in a way that many others cannot.
There are so many opportunities.
But when singleness
is all about your career,
it's all about video games,
it's all about your travel,
don't be surprised
if at some point
it leaves you feeling empty
and deeply lonely
because you were made
for far more than that.
So let me ask you,
how are you losing
your singleness
if you're single?
Do you know
who God has called you
to serve
in this community
and even outside
the community
because it is a gift
for his kingdom?
That's the second thing.
You've got a new identity.
Get a new vision
for singleness.
Third thing.
A new community.
I'm going to pull this up
because I'm going to get
the cake.
Thank you.
This is one I feel
really, really convicted by.
You know, it's easy.
I'm married
and I have kids now.
I was single
until I was 31
but I'm now married
with kids
and it's easy for me
to say,
to those of you
who are singles,
you have this new
identity in Christ.
You've got all this
flexibility for the kingdom.
I think the spirits
are not wanting this to work.
It's easy to say that
and then you go,
yeah, but
you don't have to worry
about the future
of growing old alone.
And I get that.
I really get that
because we all
desire intimacy
and we all desire
to be loved
and to love,
don't we?
That's what we've been
talking about
in this series.
And so Satan
whispers
in our ear,
did God really say
you can't marry
a non-believer?
Did God really say
you're loved
and delighted in
when,
look,
all your friends
are getting married
and you're still single?
Satan wants
to take
these moments
and wants to lead us
to doubt God's goodness
and Isaiah 56
comes to us
and it says
it's a passage
not just about
individual eunuchs
who go to church
on a Sunday.
That's not what it is.
It's about the excluded
being included
in the family of God
which is the community
of God
welcomed in the people
of God.
Do you remember
Jesus,
Mark 10,
he says this,
he says,
no one who has left home
or brothers
or sisters
or mother
or father
or children
or fields
for my sake
and for the gospel
will fail
to receive
a hundredfold
in the present age
and he goes
houses,
brothers,
sisters
and mothers
and children.
Do you know
what he's talking about?
He's talking
about
that following Jesus
and living for his kingdom
at times
can tear us away
from the most
deepest intimate relationships
that we crave for.
He's saying
loneliness
can eat away
at the most faithful heart
and bring temptation
but Jesus says
I'm promising
to you
not just my
spiritual presence
with you
although that is true
but also
my presence
with you
through my church
because you know
when we say
Jesus is enough
for us
that is true
I really believe that
but you know
Jesus doesn't give hugs
directly
he gives it
through his church
Jesus doesn't cook
meals for us
and invite us
around directly
he does it
through his church
Jesus doesn't give you
a baby to hold
or help you
to feel part
of it
or a kid
to play with
by himself
he does it
through his church
and so most of the singles
that I've spoken to
from those who are
same sex attracted
to those who are
in the 50s or 60s
have told me this
one of the greatest
ways that singles
can experience
the love of Christ
and stay faithful
and contented
in their singleness
is when marrieds
open up their lives
and their homes
and invite them in
and this is
this is a call to us
who are married
you know
a number of watermarkers
have said to me
that even if I can't
have kids
if I can go
and actually babysit
someone else's kids
or just feel like
I'm part of their family
just get a taste of that
that is so precious
to me
but you know
as marrieds
we often live
as if our identity
is more as married
than as part of the community
so we hide ourselves away
in our own little bubbles
and we end up
neglecting those
who need us
and who God has called us
to be around
let me make this
even more challenging
as Christians
we cannot say
to those who are
same sex attracted
or those who are
otherwise
you know
who are single
we cannot say to them
hey listen
you should stay celibate
or we cannot say
to someone
you should only marry
a believer
when they struggle
with that
if we are not willing
to open up our homes
and our lives
at the same time
because if we do that
what we're doing
we're laying burdens
on people
but not lifting a finger
to help
and that Jesus says
is hypocrisy
is that strong enough
it's hypocrisy
and we should be called out
as marrieds for that
because the gift of marriage
in the body of Christ
is not just for us
who are married
it's also for the sake
of the singles
so they can experience
the love of Christ
through our family relationships
one of the great things
in Watermark
is I just see this happening
on multiple layers
there are numerous families
who I know
are already doing this
with people
from all kinds
of different stages
but I want to invite
Angelina and Christina
up
just to share
a little bit
of their journey
together
so come on up
let me just move this
over the way
maybe just
excuse me
thank you
if you just
want to come
come up here
great
thank you so much
it's not that scary
it's okay
they're friendly
Christina
and Angelina
you have both
I know
you've walked together
and I know
that you've both
been in Watermark
a while
but I'd love to hear
maybe Christina
could you just tell us
maybe a little bit
of your experience
as a single
some of the challenges
and some of the things
that God has been
showing you
I think the challenges
come from
the discrepancy
between our cultural
point of view
and Christian point of view
our society
set marriage
as some sort
of a milestone
that we need to achieve
in our life
and if we don't achieve it
then
we're missing out
and
people almost see
single people
who are not married
as some
you know
some people
who are
not great
or
you know
so
yeah
and at the individual level
you feel
like
you're struggling
a lot
with uncertainty
in your life
you're not sure
when God is providing
your partner
in the future
so
those are the main
challenges
I think
great
Angeline
do you want to
share a little bit
about
maybe some of
your experience
with
yeah
walking
and opening
your home
and your life
up with
with singles
and almost
how you got
to that stage
as well
so
this is on
okay great
my husband
and I
we
are
a host
of a
community group
at our home
weekly
and it
just so
happens
that
the entire
CG
is made up
of
singles
so
yeah
over
the years
I don't think
we intentionally
set out
to cultivate
these
relationships
but
it's been
a beautiful
thing
to walk
alongside
young
adults
I'll call
them
singles
and
just
sharing
life
with
them
yeah
so
maybe
tell us
a little
bit
about
what
that
how
you've
gone
about
that
and
actually
what
that's
kind
of
looked
like
I know
you talked
about
a little
bit of a
two-way
relationship
and how
things have
really
how
you've
been blessed
through that
and
what
that's
looked
like
yeah
I
think
this is
how
God
shapes
gospel
community
I hope
and
it's
just
been
very
natural
and
very
organic
that
we've
had
the
privilege
I don't
think
like
a
mother
or
father
role
but
just
as
a
brother
and
sister
in
Christ
role
of
walking
alongside
a lot
of
singles
in
their
new
life
experiences
for
example
their
first
jobs
their
first
experiences
of
changing
jobs
their
conflicts
with
work
colleagues
with
boss
relationships
less
so
but
sometimes
relational
issues
but
just
doing
life
and
for
me
personally
I've
never
felt
like
I'm
in a
position
of
superiority
or
of
having
more
wisdom
I
think
having
more
years
helps
a little
and
experience
life
experiences
I mean
but not
from a
place
of
knowing
it
all
but
more
from
a
place
of
just
sharing
life
and
I
felt
that
in
those
relationships
it's
always
been
a
two
way
relationship
it's
never
about
me
telling
them
what
to
do
or
what
they
should
think
but
actually
sharing
life
on
life
with
each
other
if
you
know
what
I
mean
you
said
to
me
I
never
thought
about
the
categories
of
necessarily
single
and
married
as
we're
doing
it
because
it
just
feels
like
we're
one
is that
right
yes
for
example
I'm
going
through
some
struggles
in my
life
and I
felt
very
much
that
when
I've
opened
up
and
shared
my
struggles
with
our
young
adults
they
instinctively
understand
what I'm
going
through
and they
can give
me a
different
perspective
like
from being
a
son
and
daughter
to
my
role
as a
parent
of
young
adults
myself
giving
me a
different
perspective
so I've
always
felt
very
encouraged
and
yeah
by them
pouring
their
life
into
me
as
well
yeah
that's
great
Christine
how
like
from the
other end
tell us
how you've
experienced
that
and
yeah
if I can
just add
on that
I feel
like
of course
Angie
and Bernard
are sharing
lots of
wisdom
and give
us lots
of good
advice
but
I felt
like I
was invited
to the
journey
and that
we're
walking
alongside
together
it's
not
just
them
pulling
us
but
their
vulnerability
is so
powerful
that it
really
opens up
my heart
and I
feel like
I'm being
part of
their
family
and
I've
been
in
Breaking
Bread
for
five
years
and now
I'm
in
new
CG
called
The
Messenger
but
over
the
past
five
years
Angie
and
Bernard
and being
part
of Breaking
Bread
really
shaped
me
the way
I
vision
my
30s
and
40s
and
50s
because
in
the
past
I've
always
planned
my life
focusing
on
myself
but
Angie
and Bernard
opening up
their house
to people
who need
to be
heard
who need
some guidance
or need
to walk
the journey
together
it's just
really changed
the way
I view
property
you know
home
basically
it's
given
by
God
for
us
to
open
up
whoever
needs
to
come
and
join
the
community
and so
yeah
it's
such a
blessing
for me
to spend
my
20s
in
Breaking
Bread
great
maybe
the last
thing
in terms
of even
a sense
of how
you're
going out
and serving
in different
ways
I know
you mentioned
something
about how
God has
really
challenged
you
in that
just
even
recently
so
one night
I was
just
praying
to
God
I said
God
I have
so much
flexibility
like you
mentioned
in sermon
time
and energy
and I was
thinking
what can I
do
how can I
spend
my
singleness
in a
wiser
way
so I
prayed
that
before I
go to
sleep
next
morning
Angie
texted
me
saying
hey
are you
interested
in
serving
at
Branches
of
Hope
teaching
kids
which
is
an NGO
in
Hong Kong
that
supports
asylum
seekers
and
refugees
and
my
immediate
response
was like
no
I
don't
like
kids
but
I
knew
that
God
was
opening
up
the
door
and
he
was
asking
me
inviting
me
to
step
outside
of
my
comfort
zone
and
so
I
started
going
there
with
some
members
of
Breaking
Bread
and
we've
been
going
there
for
almost
a
year
now
so
every
Saturday
we
go
and teach
the
kids
just
an
hour
but
really
building
relationships
with them
and share
the gospel
so
that's
great
can I
just
pray
for you
you guys
thank you
so much
for sharing
father
I just
want to
thank you
for both
Christina
and Angelina
I know
they represent
many many
people
here in the
congregation
at different
stages
Lord
but I
thank you
Lord
that even
in their
relationship
we just
see a
little
picture
of what
you've
called
us
to be
as a
church
and
Lord
I
pray
for
them
and I
pray
for us
as a
church
Lord
that you
just
help us
to learn
how to
walk
alongside
each other
well
Lord
I pray
just even
with
Christina
and her
the
wrestles
that she's
going through
and Angelina
the wrestles
she's
going through
Lord
I pray
that they
would
just
experience
continually
your
presence
with them
that you
would just
minister
through each
other
and through
the body
Lord
of just
how good
you are
just how
faithful
you are
just how
gracious
you are
just how
enough
you are
for us
so bless
them
I pray
in Jesus
name
amen
thank you
so much
give them a round of applause
thank you
so feel free to go up and chat to them afterwards to really hear more
but this is just a little taste of what I think God is wanting us to be as a community
and so I want to challenge us if you're married
generally don't just kind of run off after Sunday just do your own thing
invite a single along to lunch for you with you Christmas time is a hard time sometimes
for things invite people into your family we have this relationships evening that is coming up often as
as we go hey that's just for singles and we check out but no I encourage you to come because actually
as married and singles we need to be in the same room talking about the same things and then you'll see
ways that God will call you and how to serve
so I want to encourage us to do that because in a city which is filled with loneliness
and it is a very lonely place
it needs to see a community
whose identity
is not based
in a marital status
but is based in being
having a name better than sons and daughters
the last thing
I want to share
and by the way
we've
we've got a few of these booklets
which are around
I think there's some outside there
and some at the back
these are on Christians
dating and marriage
if you're single or if you're married
feel free to just pick one up
that's got some
some great stuff in there
because actually
there's a whole lot of things
I'm not even talking about
I haven't even started talking about dating
but actually that's something
that in community
this is where we can actually begin to wrestle with these questions
and so we just got this to help begin that conversation
the final thing
we've talked about a new identity
we've talked about a new vision
we've talked about a new community
that we have
the last thing
is we have a new hope
because even when
and here's the kind of caveat
even when we do community really really well
we get our identity
we get that sense of vision and purpose
all of us
will still have
unmet longings in our hearts
and that goes whether you are single
or you are married
all of us
maybe will have longings for a partner
or maybe longings for a spouse to change
and if your hope
is ultimately in a relationship
sooner or later
that will crush you
like Hong Kong
is a transient place
people come and go
and we can sometimes feel the loss of friendships
right?
can't we?
and so Jesus
sorry
one person said
if Jesus isn't sufficient for you
when you are single
he won't be sufficient for you
when you are married
because our ultimate hope
is not found
in just the relationships we have
it's found in someone
who loves us
way more than anybody else ever will
because you know
Jesus Christ
was the most fulfilled single ever
but he was also
the most abandoned
the most rejected
the most shamed
single ever
do you realize
how counter-cultural
it was for him to be single?
but it wasn't just that
he was
not just a dry tree
he also died
on a dry tree
abandoned
the ultimate shame
and rejection
but he wasn't rooted
in bitterness
because you know
his hope was found
in his father
and in doing
his father's will
and being one
who knew his father
that's why
do you see
all through the gospels
he's always withdrawing
to be alone
with his father
do you know
there's a difference
between loneliness
and aloneness
you know
you can be alone
and not lonely
because Jesus
he's the one
who knows
that his father
is enough for him
some of us
immerse ourselves
in constant activity
and being with people
because you are terrified
of being alone
with your own thoughts
some of us
we like being alone
but it's a Netflix
Netflix
filled
self-focused
aloneness
but actually
what God is calling
each one of us
is to know
that the presence
that you need
more than any other presence
is the presence
of the heavenly father
who loves you
dearly and deeply
which is why
if you are a single
and if you are married
a daily rhythm
of getting into
the presence of God
in scripture
reading and prayer
is vital
if you don't want
to be a dry tree
because as a married
you know you can be
a different kind
of dry tree
a spiritually dry tree
and as a single
but actually
scripture says
if your roots
are deeply rooted
in the presence
of God
you will bear
much fruit
and your life
will flow
with the presence
of the one
who says
he's never going
to leave you
or forsake you
and so here's
the final part
that scripture
proclaims
if you are married
one day
you won't be
if you are single
one day
you won't be
because it says
human marriage
and sexuality
is penultimate
one day
all of your
unmet longings
and desires
will be ultimately
fulfilled
in the one
who is the
ultimate husband
the ultimate
bridegroom
that we are longing
for in our hearts
and that is
Jesus Christ
and we will see
him face to face
and you won't
be disappointed
and if Christ
is the center
of your marriage
right now
and if Christ
is the center
of your singleness
right now
there will be
pain
because we all
have a cross
to bear
but Jesus
shows you
the cross
always comes
before the
resurrection
and there is
resurrection life
with him
and he is
guaranteed it
by going ahead
of you
Jesus is
enough for you
today
he's enough
for you
with your
sexuality
he's enough
for you
with your
singleness
will you
trust him
will you
trust him
find time
alone with him
find your
identity in him
and let it
push us back
into be a
community
where we
don't just
preach our
identity in
Christ
but we
experience it
and live it
through our
community
relationships
let me pray
for us
and if you're
single right
now
I want you
actually to
just think
what is God
trying to say
to you
where are you
up to with
your singleness
where is
Jesus
in your
singleness
if you're
married
I want to
ask you
the same
question
where are you
up to
with your
marriage
how are you
seeing it
as part of
something that
can serve
others
rather than
just serving
yourself
and is
Jesus enough
for you
will you
trust him
just take a
minute to
reflect on
where your
hearts are
take a minute
just to
respond in
prayer to
him
I think
there's some
of you who
just really
have a
there's been
things that
we've said
this morning
which actually
just really
resonate with
where you're
up to
don't run
away
I want to
call you to
come up for
prayer afterwards
because we
want to walk
with you as
a community
there's some
of us who
this has just
been a huge
idol in our
lives and
we've never
seen it as
a gift
and you need
to hear the
father's voice
saying I
love you
you may not
understand
it may feel
uncertain
but just reach
out to me
surrender to
me
father we
just pray
but we
thank you
that you're
the god
who brings
the excluded
into your
community
lord that
was all of
us
all of us
were like
that
but thank you
lord that you've
given us a name
which is better
than any other
name that society
may label us
with
that name of
being your
sons and
daughters
and I pray
lord in this
church that
that would not
just be a
theory I
pray god that
deep in our
hearts we
would find a
contentment in
you whether we
are married or
whether we are
single knowing
that you truly
are enough for
us teach us how
to love one
another well
teach us how to
use the gifts
that you've given
us to serve
one another
we thank you
for your grace
thank you that
you are sufficient
in jesus name
amen