Well, it's great to be with you tonight and to continue to teach.
I want to do a bit of a video.
I've been told that I am more friendly on video than I am in person.
So we'll continue that on.
It's encouraging me about my gifts and where I'm best suited, I think.
That's all it was.
See, on one level, I feel like I could finish it there, where we are, talking about geese or goose.
But there is more to advance on this.
Really what I just spoke about there, just very, very quickly in five minutes, is really a culture shaper.
That's what that is.
I've just given you an introduction to something that is a culture shaper for us at St. Paul's.
Something that is primarily a pushback against Western culture.
And that is, you are not valued based on what you produce.
Which is one of the major arguments for euthanasia nowadays.
One of the big supports of euthanasia.
If you no longer enjoy your life and you can no longer produce anything, then you're a drain on society.
And therefore, we should get rid of you.
That's a Western philosophical thought.
So, one of the things that we want to develop more at St. Paul's is a culture that says people over productivity.
We care about people.
We labor in order to reach people.
And yet, the way we reach people matters.
The way we treat people.
The way we love people in the process matters.
So, I want to talk about teams, ministry teams.
I talked about my own joy of being part of a team here at St. Paul's.
I really do have a heart for those who don't exist in a team ministry or don't have a healthy team ministry.
Which, as it turns out, from conversations with Dyson leaders recently, is that is a vast majority.
One of our regional bishops says he spends most of his time dealing with team conflicts within churches.
Teams aren't built overnight.
It takes a long time to develop a group of individuals into a team.
It's much more difficult to know exactly what you need to do to take a group of individuals and turn them into a team.
And most of us sitting here tonight are in a team of some description at St. Paul's.
There are many factors that play part in this complex process of team building.
But there are two main foundations.
I'll spend a fair bit of time on the first one and very quickly on the second one.
Two main foundations that need to be laid before there's any resemblance of being a functional, gospel-centered Christian team.
And the first foundation is stability.
It's helpful for a foundation.
I like the rectory over there.
Every team member is wondering about the answers to three major questions.
They don't know it, but they've got them subconsciously down there.
They're deep questions.
Number one, can I trust you?
Number two, do you care about me?
Number three, are you committed to this?
Are you committed to this team?
Are you committed to what this team is seeking to do?
Can I trust you?
Do you care about me?
Are you committed to this?
No one wants to be part of a team in which they can't trust the leader or the other members of the team.
They feel that they're not cared for or they know the other members aren't committed to each other or, in fact, to a goal.
So, in order to build stability, you need to show your team your answer to all those three questions is yes, yes, yes.
Without you doing that, you won't build a team, a stable team.
And we answer yes, yes, yes to each one of those questions in every decision we make.
Every decision either reinforces or undermines one of those yeses.
So, the first one is trust.
Can I trust you?
Can I trust you as a team member?
Can I trust you as a team leader?
If people like you, they might listen to you.
But if they trust you, they will partner with you and will potentially even follow you.
You need to show yourself to be a person worthy of trust in order for people to trust you.
You signal that trustworthiness or your lack of it in everything you do, every decision you make.
Now, this probably all seems really obvious.
Of course, we need to trust each other to be a healthy team.
But the truth is, most teams that function together don't actually trust each other because they focus on the wrong kind of trust.
For example, if you say you want the team to arrive on time, you're the leader of the team, you want the team to be prepared,
then you, the leader, have to arrive on time and you have to be prepared.
If the vast majority of time you arrive, when you say you will, the team will know that they can trust you in that sense.
And it's called predictive trust.
People know you.
They know what you do.
They know how you behave.
They can predict your behavior.
It's predictive trust.
And predictive trust is a great help when working with a team.
You say what you're going to do and they can predict you're going to follow through with it.
But predictive trust is, if you like, the entry point of trust.
It's not the kind of trust that you need to build the foundations of a great team.
You need much more than that.
Predictive trust is, if you like, permission to play kind of trust.
You don't even get to be on the field and play if you can't be predictive in your behavior.
There is a deeper type of trust that's not less than, but it's so much more than predictive trust.
You need the kind of trust that comes from being vulnerable with your team.
Trust is built by vulnerability.
It's where you can admit your mistakes and your weaknesses and be confident that people won't take advantage of it or think any less of you because of it.
One of the great leadership books on how to be a great organization is called The Advantage.
It's written by the same guy who Paul and Rachel, Patrick Lencioni, they've got books from tonight.
So The Advantage, it's a great book.
The main idea of the book is that organizational health, the way that people work together, trumps everything else in an organization.
So organizational health eats strategy and vision for breakfast is basically, it would be my subtitle.
And Lencioni says this about trust.
When everyone on the team knows everyone else is vulnerable enough, that no one is going to hide his or her weaknesses or mistakes, they develop a deep and uncommon sense of trust.
They speak more freely and fearlessly with one another and don't waste time and energy putting on airs and pretending to be someone that they're not.
Predictive trust is certainly necessary for you to work in a group competently.
But being able to work in a team is so much more than just working in a group.
To work in a team, you need to develop weakness-based trust, which is a kind of trust that can be built very quickly and is so much more powerful.
If you're the team leader, so if you're a team leader tonight, you're leading a group of other leaders, a group of other volunteers or members of the church, it starts with you.
Vulnerability starts with you.
You need to go first.
Admit you're human.
Be courageous enough to be weak in front of your team, to be broken in front of your team.
If you don't do it, they never will because they never know whether you're going to leave them high and dry.
They never know whether you're going to come back around somewhere and use your vulnerability in your face.
But if you can model it for them and make sure you encourage them when they do it rather than penalize them,
this trust will grow rapidly as part of the group and it will begin to function as a team.
Now, the beauty of it as Christians, and Lencioni is not a Christian,
but the beauty of it as Christians is, well, we have, well, St. Paul's, we have this core value called humble authenticity,
which is all about being real, genuine with our brokenness and our sinfulness.
The gospel is applicable and beautiful because the necessary precondition is that you and I are dysfunctional,
horribly flawed failures, every single one of us.
not one of your critics is correct.
Not one of your critics is correct.
You are way worse than they think you are.
And not one of your supporters is correct.
Because you're way worse than you think you are.
That's the beauty of the gospel.
And the gospel we proclaim here week after week tells us that.
And so it should build a culture of acknowledging what we hold to be true.
That's the first thing.
Trust.
Second, care.
People also want to know whether you care about them or whether you're just using them.
It's not enough for you to care about them.
They need to know that you actually do care.
Care is an action word.
And there are lots of ways you can show people you care.
You take the time to get to know the people on your team.
You check in with them regularly to see how they're getting on as people,
not just as members of the team.
You're generally thankful for the work that they do for the team.
And you make sure that you tell them that you are thankful for the work that they do as part of the team.
You say that you're sorry when you make a mistake.
You don't blame them for it.
You take responsibility for it if you're the team leader.
You listen to their ideas.
You give careful feedback.
You treat them as partners, not just as helpers.
Filling a gap.
All of these things will communicate that you, in fact, care about them,
not just what they bring to the team.
If you want to build a strong team, people have to know that you care about them
and that others on the team care about them as well.
Of course, the stronger and deeper the relationships are between team members,
the better the team actually functions.
The quicker, the better decisions I think they are
and the quicker decisions that they make,
they'll deal with conflicts a whole lot easier.
They'll lead through crises together in a much more unified, stronger, clearer way.
In fact, neuroscience tells us that our brains run on three things.
Oxygen, glucose and relationships.
Now, I'm fully aware of this as a diabetic.
When my sugars get low and I haven't got as much glucose running around in my brain,
it's a nice feeling for a little while,
but man, I cannot make a decision to save my life.
American author Henry Cloud recounts, in one of his books,
recounts an experiment that was done with monkeys
to measure the effects of relationships on cortisol levels in their brains.
Now, cortisol is a hormone closely associated with high stress levels.
So in this experiment, they get a monkey, they jam him in a cage,
and they expose the monkey to high levels of psychological stress.
They got loud music and flashing lights, and they go nuts.
And the monkey went nuts.
It freaked him out.
And they measured the levels of stress hormones in the monkey's brain.
They recorded it, and then they did it again.
And the only thing they did differently the second time
was they got the monkey's mate, I'm assuming another monkey,
and put him in the cage with the monkey,
and did exactly the same thing.
And as soon as it was over,
they measured the stress hormones in the monkey's brain,
and they were exactly 50% less.
That is, this pair of monkeys was twice as good at handling the stress
as the monkey was by itself.
Monkeys' brains, and this is not a lecture in evolution.
I'm not heading in that direction.
But monkeys' brains, it seems, are designed to function in relationships.
They are communal animals, and so are owls.
Cloud concludes this.
For research findings about the positive effects of supportive connections
continue to pour in,
and they are equally compelling and conclusive.
Our brains need positive relationships to grow and function well,
whether for monkeys in a cage,
financial wizards on Wall Street,
or your own team members' relationship
is the key to high performance.
Thirdly, commitment.
People want to know if you're committed to this team,
and what this team's trying to accomplish.
Not just that you're committed for now,
but you're actually committed.
What is it that you will give up for these people,
to invest in these people that you're ministering with?
What will you miss out on for this, for them?
How sick do you need to be in order to skip being with them?
Because if they're going to come with you,
if they're going to miss things,
if they're going to give up things,
if they're going to skip things,
they want to know if you're willing to do the same.
Now, there is a difference between being committed for now and being committed.
When you're committed for now,
what you're doing is you're still scanning the horizon for the better opportunity.
You're still scanning for the next step up,
a bigger platform, a more prestigious position.
You're not satisfied with where you are,
and so you're not focused on what you are doing.
You might say that you're committed,
but you're committed just for now.
And if you're really committed to what you're doing,
you'll invest yourself in it.
You'll plant yourself.
You'll put your head down and get on with it.
And so in order to build a team,
which is every team member's responsibility,
you need to show people that they can trust you to be real and to be vulnerable,
that you care about them,
and that you're committed to them.
If you do or say too many things that communicate
that your answer to one of those questions is a no,
you will never succeed in building a team or being part of a strong team,
and you lose.
You lose.
Developing a culture of care, trust, and commitment takes a lot of time.
It starts with the team leader,
but it's the responsibility of every team member.
So speak honestly,
share deeply,
admit mistakes freely,
ask for forgiveness quickly,
and verbally reprimand those who ridicule an honest moment,
or who break down a group's confidence,
and spread information to people that they should not be spreading.
Which is not just bad information,
but any information that they should not be spreading.
It only takes one lapse to destroy months of work in this area.
Teams are built on stability.
That's the first foundation.
The second foundation for necessary to build teams is time.
It takes a lot.
Cool.
Thank you, Steve.
Steve's obviously covered a lot there over the last few minutes.
He has a very good reputation for packing a lot in in a short space of time.
So I wanted to give people the opportunity to reflect a little bit
and think back to what he was talking through.
One, I guess the importance of people over productivity,
and love as a real culture shaper.
But two, the foundations in team building.
The first foundation we talked about was stability.
Who remembers the three parts to that?
Or at least one of them?
Trust.
Care.
And commitment.
Excellent.
And the second foundation?
It takes time.
Cool.
So think through that.
Have a quick chat to the person next to you,
if you have any questions,
or send them to my mobile phone,
which the number I think will appear fairly shortly.
And then I'll invite Steve up to answer your questions
in the next 60 seconds or so.
Thank you.
So we might just come back together now
and see whether we have any questions.
I don't have any SMSs,
so I'm assuming that you're all going to put your hand up
and ask questions.
Any questions for Steve?
Thoughts provoked?
Was that a hand, Debbie?
No?
That was a mic.
Okay.
You're loving.
Very good.
Sharing love.
What was that?
Crystal clear?
There's a question from the guy.
I was actually running out of it.
I presume the amount of time
is in the nature of the scene,
the purpose of the scene,
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
The reality is to build a team does take time.
One of the real blessings that we've had at St. Paul's
is we've had team members on a staff team level
who have hung around for a while
and we've been able to build.
Now, obviously,
the team building's been happening as part of it,
but the longer they've been there,
the more the teamwork has happened
and the quicker decisions get made
and we flourish
and we really do have a deep sense of commitment
and connection with one another.
But that's a time factor.
Trust takes a while.
Trust is...
So when I...
For instance,
I've been here for nearly 10 years now.
People trust me more now
than when I first arrived.
That's just...
And that's partly by virtue of
seeing my life over time,
but also seeing the decisions that are made
and how things are followed through
and stuff like that.
That doesn't mean that
everything's perfect or anything,
but trust is something that's built
over a long period of time.
So I'm...
Trust can be lost,
but there's a fair amount of trust
in the bank account at the moment.
So...
And you don't want to squander that.
The way that trust is built, though,
is vulnerability.
And I think this is a crucial thing.
This is where...
You know...
It's unfortunate that in our society nowadays
that Christian churches are not places
where people think that I can trust.
That is horrendous
because it's at the...
Vulnerability is at the foundation of the gospel.
The foundation of the...
And that's where we get our vulnerability from
is...
The only way that I will ever stand up
in front of a group of people
or lead my team in such a way
that I will confess an error
or allow a weakness of mine to be explored
is because ultimately
your opinion,
while I value,
I don't live for you.
That is,
while I might have your disapproval
over here
where I need to confess an error,
I have an approval over here in Christ
that I will never lose.
So the more we focus on the gospel
and find our assurance
and our security in Christ,
the more willing we will be vulnerable.
Those who are not vulnerable,
my first port of call is
where's your confidence?
Where is your...
Are you concerned about
this person's approval
or that person's approval?
Whereas in a Christian community,
we've got...
With the gospel,
we've got the ultimate acceptance
that can never fail.
It's probably fair to say
that the church is a place
where everybody wants to be seen
and made them
and doing okay.
I wonder...
There's people that want to
do their values
because they want to be
doing that kind of thing.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I think so.
And that's religion
and that's works righteousness
and legalism.
But unfortunately,
that is so close to our hearts
that we have this inner nature
to try and...
In fact,
I'm going to be preaching on this
on Sunday
when it comes to confession.
Self-atonement
is so close to our hearts.
We just love to atone for ourselves.
Even in our confession,
we confess in a way
that thinks
that we can get God's favour.
It's...
Yeah.
I've got a couple of questions here
that have come in.
The first one's very related
to what you've just been speaking about.
But any suggestions
if you're struggling
to build trust with your team?
And it's sometimes tricky
to be vulnerable
if you don't trust each other.
Do you have any really
practical suggestions
as to how to build that trust
and be vulnerable?
If you're the team leader,
there really...
There is only one real source
of vulnerability.
And that is...
Or the ability to be vulnerable
and that is the gospel.
It really is...
And I cannot dwell upon that enough.
Put Bible passages
on your computer screen,
you know,
wherever...
On the dashboard of your car,
wherever it is
that you need to put them
that remind you consistently
that because of the Lord Jesus,
what he has done for you,
the Father,
the God of this universe,
says,
My child.
That is a status
that never changes.
And until you dwell on that,
you think about that,
you ponder on that,
you meditate on that,
until it drops in the heart
and gives you a security
that is never-ending.
That really is a solution.
That's the first thing.
So,
the gospel is the solution.
Secondly,
go to people
who you do know
and start practicing
vulnerability with them.
That is,
long-term friends,
long-term,
you know,
people who
you suspect
you've got a trusting relationship with
and start practicing vulnerability.
start talking about
your deepest sins
and issues of your heart,
the things that you're wrestling with.
Another question.
If you have a team
that isn't functioning well,
do you think on all three elements,
do you work on all three elements
of stability
or start with trust?
I would think
that you need to start with,
it depends what the issue is.
I mean,
if someone pulls you aside
and your team's not working
and say,
well,
I just can't trust you,
that's probably an indication
you need to work on that one.
But,
certainly,
the care,
and of course,
people might not trust you
because you lack a commitment,
it might just be
what I think
Lindsay only says you do,
is you need to sit down
and you need to have it out
at times.
You need to just sort of
throw everything out there
in the air
and go,
what are the issues?
How do you think we can go better?
But,
I would say,
sit down
with each member
of the team
individually
and ask the question,
how can I lead you better?
That's good advice.
Another one,
back to vulnerability.
Sometimes being vulnerable
can open you up
to being walked over.
Would you advise boundaries
through vulnerability?
Yeah,
I would.
There are some people
who I won't be,
I won't be specifically
individually vulnerable with.
So,
for instance,
I haven't got up
in front of church
ever
and told you
the blackness
in my heart.
I've never,
you know,
I've never said,
got up there
and let me confess sins
and here's the list
and here's the really
terrible stuff.
That's reserved
for
four people
in my life
who I know
are not going to
pin me to a pegboard
when I share
that stuff with them.
I know they're going
to pray for me,
they love me,
they're committed to me.
So,
four people in my life,
I regularly keep
accountable on that.
So,
there are varying
levels of vulnerability.
But I will share
with the church
that I'm not a perfect husband,
I'm not a great dad,
a whole range of things
that I fail in.
I have,
the thing that's amazed me
in terms of the team
at St. Paul's
being with me
for so long
is that
they've been with me
for so long.
I think that's incredible.
Like,
anyone who's lasted
10 years
with me
because they've seen me
change,
they've seen the mistakes
I've made,
they've seen the things
I've changed in,
they've seen the failures,
the faults,
they've seen,
you know,
my incompetence
and that sort of thing.
And yet,
they're still there.
So,
it's,
there is a level,
I think,
of who you share
what with,
but you should know
that.
Some people are
chronic oversharers
and that's not
particularly helpful.
I guess the challenge
for many people
in that fear
is how's the person
going to reciprocate
at the other end
and the question
along those lines,
what if you're vulnerable
and open with someone
and they don't reciprocate
or it ends up
hurting you more?
Okay.
The idea of vulnerability
is they don't have
to reciprocate.
I don't think
vulnerability
on your behalf
means they're going
to reciprocate.
So,
for instance,
one of the key things
for me
in raising my girls
is that I,
it's my job
to lead them
by being vulnerable
to them.
I,
I will
endeavour
in every instance
to be the first person,
if I've had a,
you know,
a bust up with them
in some kind of way,
I will endeavour
to be the first person
to speak to them
about my failure.
I won't wait for them.
And while
they might have been
the ones who
started it,
continued it,
and I came in
at the last minute
and,
you know,
did something
I shouldn't have done
and overreacted,
I will apologise
for my overreaction
and sit down
and often we tears
and say,
you know,
I'm really deeply
sorry for the hurt.
That is,
I'm vulnerable
that moment.
And what they do
in the inevitably
that moment
is they come up,
Daddy,
it's a fine,
you know,
I forgive you.
And it's like,
but they haven't,
they haven't shared
their own failures
at that point.
I think that's the,
the idea,
the deeper and more
confident you are
in the gospel,
the more you are
prepared to be
vulnerable
without it being
reciprocated.
I don't think
it needs to be
reciprocated.
I've got one more
question here,
but are there any
more questions
from the floor
first?
And there's always
a danger
that people will
hang you out
to dry for it.
There's always
a danger of that,
but God never will.
That's more precious.
That's true.
So,
last question here.
Face is an
important concept
to many Chinese
people.
If vulnerability
is important
to build up
teams,
then what would
be your advice?
Understand the
gospel.
That is,
the idea
of saving
face
is an
anti-gospel
cultural thing
that needs
to be reformed.
That's all I can
say.
It is
anti-gospel.
it's not
Christian.
It's a cultural
thing.
And in a
trans-cultural
church,
we are seeking
to have our
cultures reformed.
And that's a
cultural practice.
I think,
I read this
once,
that it is
normal to
grow up
in an Asian
family and
never have a
parent say to
you,
I'm sorry.
I just feel
for a whole
generation of
kids who
have not
experienced
what it
means to
have a
parent say,
I'm sorry.
The gospel
changes that.
The gospel
leads us to
repentance and
confession.
So it
needs to be
reformed.
Thank you.