WEBVTT

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 So I always start this class with a couple disclaimers.

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 I'm going to do, I think, three or four.

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 First, I am not the world's best speaker.

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 I'll give you a perfect example of that.

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 In 2007, I was being interviewed by CNN.

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 Pretty exciting.

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 And they followed me around all day and our crew.

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 And by the end of the day, cameras are off.

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 The reporter and I are just chit-chatting.

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 And she's like, I'm just so moved by everything I saw today.

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 I just need to go home and drink some red wine and take a bath.

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 And I was like, I stopped her.

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 And I'm like, oh, you need to go home and decompose.

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 I meant decompress.

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 I pretty much told the reporter she needed to go home and rot.

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 And my piece was never aired.

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 So I may mess up words.

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 We can giggle about it.

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 I'm in my 40s.

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 I'm secure about that fact now.

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 Another disclaimer is that this is based all from my personal experience

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 of almost 16 years working with the chronically homeless.

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 I am not the end-all on homelessness.

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 This class is to glean from.

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 Homelessness is a complicated issue.

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 It is multilayered.

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 I am just one viewpoint.

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 So just know that.

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 I am not the end-all authority on homelessness.

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 To save time, I will not be proving the case for homelessness

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 or the biblical call to serve the poor.

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 Let's just all agree that homelessness is an issue

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 and the Bible says that we are to serve the poor.

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 Agree?

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 Yeah.

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 And then my last disclaimer, and this is just for my D.C. crowd,

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 I'm not going to do a whole lot of policy talk.

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 That's not what this class is for.

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 I laugh that D.C. is the place where people are on their way

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 to the poverty conference stepping over the homeless person.

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 I'm going to teach you how to interact one-to-one with the homeless

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 to become friends, to become a part of the community that's around you.

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 Okay, so everybody is okay with my disclaimers before we even begin.

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 Excellent.

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 This class is in four sections.

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 I tell you my personal story, what I think the church is doing wrong,

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 what it ought to be doing, and then practical application.

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 So my story, as we started a little bit, I am from New Jersey.

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 I moved to Atlanta in 1999 to work for a New York Met

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 that became an Atlanta Brave.

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 Very exciting job when you're in your 20s.

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 Yeah, it was a fun job.

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 I still keep up with that.

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 So in 2000, it's around this time of year,

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 and I'm trying to make the decision, as many people have to do,

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 am I going to go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas?

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 Christmas always wins.

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 So I find myself in Atlanta in 2000 with not much to do, honestly.

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 So I was like, well, I'll serve.

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 I'll serve Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry at Turner Field.

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 And it happened to be the same year that Hosea Williams passed away,

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 and about 10,000 other people, and that is not an exaggeration,

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 had the same idea, and I got rejected everywhere I went to serve

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 because they had just too many volunteers.

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 Atlanta Mission, who is now one of our biggest partners.

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 Salvation Army.

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 Obviously, Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry rejected me.

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 So my friend and I, we decided, well, we saw men and women in, like,

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 parking lots and business entryways not going to any of the dinners.

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 Maybe we'll go to the gas station nearby, pick up food, and serve them.

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 I was incredibly impacted by that day.

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 Now, it wasn't the food we gave.

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 I mean, it was gas station food.

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 It probably wasn't that good.

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 It was the conversations I had.

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 So what I did is I and my friend, we decided to go back the next week,

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 the next week, the next week.

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 And a month later, at the beginning of January, Chris McDaniel,

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 who was in the video, he's the pastor of Trinity England in Atlanta,

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 he decided, let's make this a ministry.

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 Well, like anyone who's only led something for a month,

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 my first year, I failed miserably.

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 I gave out a lot of money for rent because I'm gung-ho about it.

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 I was going to save people.

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 I was going to get people off the streets.

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 I wasn't completely naive.

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 I just, I worked a full-time job,

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 and I couldn't go to landlords to get the rent set up.

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 So I would hand over a large sum of money.

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 One gentleman called me from a motel where he had a party on my dime

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 to let me know that he was there doing that.

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 Didn't invite me, which I think was the greater insult.

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 I just, I wanted to help people.

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 I just didn't want to slow down enough to be wise.

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 I found a mom and a baby on the streets, not connected to any shelter.

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 And I was so emotionally moved that I put them in a car, no car seat,

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 took them to Marietta, Georgia,

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 or had a volunteer take them to Marietta, Georgia,

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 which is about a half hour away,

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 to a motel where I could afford it for one night.

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 But no backup plan.

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 I got them unsafely to Marietta,

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 outside of where all the programs are,

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 because I was so emotionally moved,

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 I just saw a child on the street sleeping in the elements.

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 Had to get them the next day,

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 because I could only afford one day.

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 In a car, with no car seat,

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 which is incredibly unsafe.

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 And if you've known Atlanta drivers,

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 they're about equal to drivers here.

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 It's very unsafe.

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 I would go downtown alone,

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 in some of the roughest areas of town,

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 by myself, late at night.

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 Especially when it was cold,

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 I was going to hand out hot chocolate.

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 Because again, I was going to save the world.

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 I would put my foot in my mouth,

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 often, because I was way out of my comfort zone.

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 So what I call my first year of service,

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 it's just a year of failures.

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 The next year is what I call the year of spiritual cleansing.

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 I had to repent of my prejudice and attitude.

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 And that's not something that just happened in year two.

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 That's a daily occurrence,

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 or I try to make it a daily occurrence.

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 Because me, like you,

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 we have an innate desire to be superior.

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 We, every day, struggle

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 with wanting to be better than the person in front of us.

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 And I don't care what it is.

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 I don't care if it's gender-related, race-related,

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 political affiliation-related,

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 urban-suburban.

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 However you feel superior

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 is something to be repenting.

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 So this is a daily occurrence,

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 but it really came to a head that year.

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 I had to realize that my lack

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 was just different, not better.

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 I thought, well, I've got a car,

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 a job, a home.

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 I obviously know everything about life, obviously.

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 I had to realize that both parties

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 brought something to the table.

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 What I was starting to realize

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 is that the person in front of me

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 had a wealth of stories and life experience

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 that if I would just take a step back,

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 I would realize the value

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 and the dignity placed within them.

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 So year one, total failure.

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 Year two, a lot of repenting.

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 Year three, no results.

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 And I'm a part of the Instant Rice generation,

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 as are you.

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 I want to know what I'm doing

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 is going to turn out well immediately,

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 or I'm just going to quit

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 because obviously I shouldn't do it.

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 So about somewhere halfway in that year,

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 I had a come-to-Jesus talk with Jesus

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 because, quite frankly,

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 I was giving up my free time, my finances.

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 I'm in my, I was like 27 by then, 28.

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 I'm giving up a lot.

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 Bless me.

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 Bless me with something

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 because if not, I don't know why I'm doing this.

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 So what happened,

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 that conversation didn't go quite as I'd planned,

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 and I decided that I was just going to choose obedience.

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 That was going to be the only result I kept track of.

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 I felt called to this,

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 and I was just going to choose to obey.

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 And after that year,

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 we started to see breakthrough.

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 We started to realize that those three years

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 of digging, of being consistent,

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 of not seeing results,

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 but yet still going at it,

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 still becoming friends,

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 still week in, week out,

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 we built trust.

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 I didn't know that result was needed to see,

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 but because we kept at it,

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 we were now a known entity of a safe place.

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 And now, almost 16 years,

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 we turned 16 years on November 23rd.

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 We have over 2,000 annual volunteers.

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 We're in two cities.

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 I live up here,

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 and Ben, who was on the video,

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 runs Atlanta.

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 Atlanta's where we do a lot of work.

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 Up here, we're slowly growing.

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 We do job prep.

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 Some events we're starting to do.

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 I'd really like to do more.

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 I always end this part with a quote,

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 and it's not a quote that you're going to find

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 on any bumper sticker or refrigerator.

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 It is by G.K. Chesterton.

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 Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

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 I probably should have quit.

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 Maybe.

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 It would look like I should have quit.

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 I was failing miserably.

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 I didn't have results for three years.

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 I was told I should quit.

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 But because I didn't quit,

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 because I was okay with failure.

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 I don't like it, but I'm okay with it.

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 Maybe that's a jersey in me.

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 We're used to failure.

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 Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

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 I have a two-year-old son,

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 and I'll probably bring him up a few times

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 because I am a proud mom.

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 He learned to walk about two weeks

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 before he turned two.

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 The month before that,

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 that kid fell down every other second.

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 If I put the same thoughts that I put on

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 or that we all put on us

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 because we're the Instant Rice generation,

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 I would have told him he should just quit.

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 He is not doing it successfully.

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 I mean, it took a month.

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 He was falling down every other second.

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 He needed those falls to learn the balance,

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 the development.

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 He had to fail to learn to walk.

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 So anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

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 The next part of this class is seven points

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 of what I believe are the failures of the church.

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 My first thought is not willing to get hands dirty

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 or complete indifference.

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 And most likely,

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 if you're going to spend your Wednesday night here,

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 you're not a part of that.

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 But the church at large,

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 that is still an issue.

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 I'm going to give you a quote

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 from a book called When Helping Hurts.

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 Have any of you read that?

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 Are you familiar with that?

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 Oh, yay.

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 It was written about 10 years ago.

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 It's then two college guys

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 that decide to become homeless

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 for about six months

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 to show how the church is with the homeless.

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 Here's a quote they have.

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 If we are the body of Christ

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 and Christ came not for the healthy,

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 but for the sick,

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 we need to be fully present

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 in the places where people are most broken.

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 It has to be more than a financial presence.

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 That helps, of course.

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 But too often, money is an insulation.

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 It conveniently keeps us

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 from ever having to come face to face

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 with a man or woman whose life is in tatters.

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 So that's the first error.

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 The second error,

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 willing to get hands dirty,

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 but it might be better if you stayed home.

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 Under that,

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 and I don't know if it's as popular in D.C.,

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 but in Atlanta it's very popular,

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 we have the preaching at them.

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 The homeless, they're preached at 24-7.

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 And I use the word at

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 because I want you that visual.

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 It's not an equal.

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 It's not a dignifying.

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 It's kind of at.

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 And often they're preached to hell and damnation.

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 Under the overpass has another great quote.

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 Telling a person that is suffering deeply

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 that he is going to suffer more

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 is probably a waste of breath.

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 It's like warning someone who is already starving

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 that they are about to get really hungry.

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 But tell them of a restaurant

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 that serves heaping meals to all who come

00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:52.439
 no matter where they are from

00:12:52.439 --> 00:12:53.379
 or what they look like,

00:12:54.019 --> 00:12:55.240
 and he'll more likely listen.

00:12:56.779 --> 00:12:59.379
 Another point under willing to get hands dirty,

00:12:59.379 --> 00:13:00.799
 but it'd be better if you stayed home,

00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:03.419
 is what I call the drop the food and run.

00:13:03.939 --> 00:13:05.759
 I'm coming out from,

00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:07.159
 way out from the city center.

00:13:07.539 --> 00:13:09.360
 I'm coming to where the homeless are.

00:13:10.100 --> 00:13:11.799
 I want to do my good deed.

00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:13.059
 I want to check it off the list.

00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:14.899
 So I'm just literally going to put the food out,

00:13:15.580 --> 00:13:16.879
 hand it out, and go.

00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:18.179
 I'm not going to engage.

00:13:18.299 --> 00:13:19.139
 I'm not going to interact.

00:13:19.240 --> 00:13:22.460
 I'm just going to get that little check on that box

00:13:22.460 --> 00:13:23.399
 that I did a good deed.

00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:29.200
 Another error under willing to get hands dirty,

00:13:29.379 --> 00:13:31.500
 is something called tracks.

00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:34.200
 Now, you all seem like you're a bit younger.

00:13:34.299 --> 00:13:35.179
 I'm in my 40s.

00:13:36.500 --> 00:13:37.759
 Anybody know what tracks are?

00:13:38.939 --> 00:13:39.799
 Okay, got a few.

00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:42.039
 For those of you that don't know tracks,

00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:44.259
 tracks are kind of an older generation thing

00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:48.399
 that are like booklets, little mini booklets.

00:13:48.939 --> 00:13:49.700
 Tracks, yeah, yeah.

00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:51.379
 Tracks, you know what it is?

00:13:51.379 --> 00:13:52.559
 Jack Chick just died.

00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:53.039
 Did you say that?

00:13:53.720 --> 00:13:54.679
 No, I don't.

00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:55.600
 Do you know Jack Chick?

00:13:55.940 --> 00:13:56.279
 No.

00:13:56.539 --> 00:13:58.840
 Chick Chick's cartoon tracks.

00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:01.639
 Yes, but they're usually like you're going to hell.

00:14:01.680 --> 00:14:02.019
 Exactly.

00:14:02.660 --> 00:14:04.280
 C-T-S, that's the K.

00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:06.040
 Yeah.

00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:10.180
 So my friends on the street would talk to me

00:14:10.180 --> 00:14:11.320
 about how annoying they are,

00:14:11.420 --> 00:14:12.379
 and I'm like, yeah, they're annoying,

00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:13.820
 but they're really not that bad,

00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:17.360
 until I was on MARTA.

00:14:17.940 --> 00:14:19.620
 I had just come back from New Jersey.

00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:20.899
 MARTA is the transit.

00:14:21.620 --> 00:14:22.120
 The metro.

00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:24.740
 And we're going to use transit.

00:14:25.580 --> 00:14:26.659
 It's like this.

00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:28.320
 If anybody has ever been to Atlanta,

00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:30.360
 yeah, that's a different class.

00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:35.299
 I had a rough family thing happen in New Jersey.

00:14:35.299 --> 00:14:36.539
 I was flying back.

00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:38.419
 I get to the airport.

00:14:38.600 --> 00:14:41.820
 My roommate, and I was living outside of Atlanta in Roswell,

00:14:42.540 --> 00:14:43.980
 my roommate forgot to pick me up.

00:14:45.020 --> 00:14:47.940
 So MARTA, because it's like this,

00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:49.980
 and I was living out here,

00:14:50.620 --> 00:14:52.140
 I really, and this is pre-Uber,

00:14:52.460 --> 00:14:54.540
 so I honestly didn't know how I was going to get,

00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:56.720
 and taxis don't really in the suburbs,

00:14:56.940 --> 00:14:57.580
 I mean, yeah.

00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:00.720
 I was in tears on MARTA,

00:15:00.820 --> 00:15:03.080
 because I honestly didn't know how I was going to get my bags

00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:05.940
 from, and me, to my apartment.

00:15:06.860 --> 00:15:09.160
 And I'm frustrated.

00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:10.160
 I'm sad.

00:15:10.260 --> 00:15:12.760
 I had family stuff going on, early travel.

00:15:13.400 --> 00:15:15.080
 And this guy comes up to me,

00:15:15.160 --> 00:15:15.600
 and he's like,

00:15:15.620 --> 00:15:17.300
 what you need is, you need this.

00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.820
 And tries to hand me a track.

00:15:22.300 --> 00:15:24.660
 I've been a Christian since I was six years old.

00:15:24.760 --> 00:15:28.840
 At my baptism, I told the pastor that I needed to get baptized,

00:15:28.840 --> 00:15:30.220
 because I was a wicked, wicked sinner.

00:15:30.780 --> 00:15:31.800
 I was six years old.

00:15:32.420 --> 00:15:33.580
 I was a church leader.

00:15:33.580 --> 00:15:36.700
 I didn't need a track.

00:15:37.060 --> 00:15:38.440
 I needed a ride.

00:15:39.580 --> 00:15:41.980
 So many assumptions were made about me,

00:15:42.020 --> 00:15:44.960
 because I was in a bad place at that moment.

00:15:45.420 --> 00:15:48.180
 But my spiritual life was not in question.

00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:50.660
 I was just having a bad day.

00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:52.500
 Then I got it.

00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:57.000
 I got why my friends on the street felt dehumanized by tracks,

00:15:57.100 --> 00:15:57.800
 and hated them.

00:15:58.400 --> 00:16:00.740
 Because so many assumptions were being made,

00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:02.440
 and not even conversation.

00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:08.100
 I saw a commercial for a popular track that looks like dollar bills.

00:16:09.060 --> 00:16:10.980
 Don't ever, ever do that.

00:16:11.800 --> 00:16:13.400
 But in the commercial,

00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:16.360
 the guy who was selling them said,

00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.860
 well, if you don't have time to talk to your waitress,

00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:20.140
 this is what you can use.

00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:22.500
 If you don't have time, you don't have time.

00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:25.760
 Don't give out something that looks like money.

00:16:26.260 --> 00:16:28.760
 That just makes it even worse.

00:16:29.400 --> 00:16:30.040
 Anyway, yeah.

00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:31.220
 Okay, so box down.

00:16:31.220 --> 00:16:33.779
 If you don't use tracks,

00:16:33.899 --> 00:16:36.040
 which most likely a young group like you don't,

00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:39.340
 you may have older family members that do.

00:16:39.940 --> 00:16:42.840
 And I would love and encourage you to tell them that story

00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:44.680
 of why people feel dehumanized.

00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:45.899
 Okay.

00:16:46.680 --> 00:16:48.879
 Last point of willing to get hands dirty,

00:16:48.980 --> 00:16:50.440
 but it might be better if they stayed home,

00:16:50.560 --> 00:16:52.700
 is praying without knowing their names.

00:16:52.700 --> 00:16:54.800
 A lot of times,

00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:55.320
 just again,

00:16:55.400 --> 00:16:55.860
 assumptions.

00:16:56.740 --> 00:16:58.060
 Because of where you were at,

00:16:58.300 --> 00:17:00.200
 let me just not ask you any questions,

00:17:01.140 --> 00:17:01.820
 but just say,

00:17:01.920 --> 00:17:02.680
 let me pray for you.

00:17:05.100 --> 00:17:07.019
 The homeless feel dehumanized by that.

00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:08.200
 Okay,

00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:09.220
 so we're done with that.

00:17:09.380 --> 00:17:10.440
 Willing to get hands dirty.

00:17:10.740 --> 00:17:12.019
 Let's go on to the next error.

00:17:13.819 --> 00:17:14.259
 Judgment.

00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:18.140
 If they would just get a job.

00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:19.299
 Oh my gosh,

00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:20.619
 I hear that so much.

00:17:21.099 --> 00:17:22.619
 Let me tell you my experience.

00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:25.059
 And this is just my experience,

00:17:25.420 --> 00:17:26.160
 mainly in Atlanta.

00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:27.740
 Before 2008,

00:17:27.879 --> 00:17:29.400
 one of two of my friends on the street

00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:30.680
 had a job of some sort.

00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:32.980
 2008 happened.

00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:36.200
 The economy went what it did.

00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:39.120
 In the basic things that people need,

00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:40.259
 the price went up.

00:17:41.019 --> 00:17:43.019
 The biggest demographic that we saw

00:17:43.019 --> 00:17:44.779
 in the homeless population then

00:17:44.779 --> 00:17:45.640
 was single moms.

00:17:45.900 --> 00:17:48.019
 Because they had been staying off the street.

00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:50.140
 They had been keeping their heads above water.

00:17:50.579 --> 00:17:52.279
 Everything started to cost more.

00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:54.120
 And they snowballed into homelessness.

00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:57.519
 Now we're back to like 45%,

00:17:57.519 --> 00:17:57.920
 you know,

00:17:57.960 --> 00:17:59.180
 as the economy's recovering.

00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:02.900
 So a job isn't just the answer.

00:18:02.980 --> 00:18:04.460
 Homelessness is multi-layered.

00:18:05.299 --> 00:18:07.360
 It's not as simple as that.

00:18:08.940 --> 00:18:09.980
 Another area of judgment.

00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:12.740
 I must know more about life and God

00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:15.000
 because I have a car, home, and job.

00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:16.620
 I am superior.

00:18:16.980 --> 00:18:17.759
 I must save you.

00:18:17.980 --> 00:18:18.500
 And ironically,

00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:19.759
 churches have a reputation

00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:21.900
 of lasting about six months on the streets.

00:18:22.460 --> 00:18:23.360
 Because they give up.

00:18:24.620 --> 00:18:28.319
 They didn't get the fuzzy goosebumps end.

00:18:28.900 --> 00:18:30.500
 And they didn't get what they want.

00:18:30.620 --> 00:18:31.420
 And so they leave.

00:18:31.420 --> 00:18:33.740
 I'm going to read you a,

00:18:33.860 --> 00:18:36.519
 just a quick excerpt from this book.

00:18:36.620 --> 00:18:38.580
 This is Cross-Cultural Servanthood.

00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.680
 And on that Engaging Homelessness class sheet

00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:42.580
 is a book list

00:18:42.580 --> 00:18:45.900
 because I refer to a lot of books on this.

00:18:46.580 --> 00:18:49.300
 So if you are doing any sort of missions,

00:18:49.300 --> 00:18:51.700
 whether it be domestic or international,

00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:54.600
 this is a great book to have and to read.

00:18:54.599 --> 00:18:57.279
 Right now what I'm going to read to you

00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:58.659
 is just a few sentences

00:18:58.659 --> 00:19:00.159
 about how we are perceived

00:19:00.159 --> 00:19:01.259
 by those we're serving.

00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:04.240
 I need to correct their error,

00:19:04.659 --> 00:19:06.159
 meaning I have superior knowledge

00:19:06.159 --> 00:19:07.319
 and a corner on truth.

00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:09.759
 My education has equipped me

00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:10.899
 to know what's best for you.

00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:12.500
 So let me do most of the talking

00:19:12.500 --> 00:19:14.439
 while you do most of the listening and changing.

00:19:15.399 --> 00:19:16.619
 I'm here to help you.

00:19:16.719 --> 00:19:17.579
 So do as I say.

00:19:17.579 --> 00:19:19.859
 I can be your spiritual mentor,

00:19:20.139 --> 00:19:21.079
 so I am your role model.

00:19:21.879 --> 00:19:22.980
 Let me disciple you,

00:19:23.139 --> 00:19:23.559
 equip you,

00:19:23.679 --> 00:19:24.240
 train you,

00:19:24.599 --> 00:19:25.639
 often perceived as

00:19:25.639 --> 00:19:27.439
 let me make you into a clint of myself

00:19:27.439 --> 00:19:31.000
 and the one that truly got me.

00:19:31.859 --> 00:19:33.759
 Superiority cloaked in the desire to serve

00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:34.659
 is still superiority.

00:19:34.660 --> 00:19:35.100
 Okay.

00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:40.420
 The next error.

00:19:42.180 --> 00:19:43.600
 Being numbers obsessed.

00:19:44.980 --> 00:19:47.279
 Pete Scazzaro has an amazing quote

00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:48.500
 about the American church.

00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:51.080
 He is a New York pastor.

00:19:51.300 --> 00:19:52.759
 He wrote Emotionally Healthy Church.

00:19:52.900 --> 00:19:54.160
 I think it was like seven years ago.

00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:56.660
 Anyway, he says that the American church

00:19:56.660 --> 00:19:58.640
 is a mile wide and an inch thick.

00:19:59.720 --> 00:20:01.320
 And if I can be so bold,

00:20:01.420 --> 00:20:02.540
 I would say that's an issue

00:20:02.540 --> 00:20:04.160
 in the nonprofit world as well.

00:20:04.660 --> 00:20:08.279
 I, like I said,

00:20:08.360 --> 00:20:11.000
 I have 2,000 or Lazarus has 2,000 volunteers.

00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:11.880
 That's a big number.

00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:12.779
 People like that.

00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:15.840
 Some events, we feed 1,000.

00:20:16.380 --> 00:20:17.140
 That's great.

00:20:18.420 --> 00:20:20.620
 We worked to get three to four people

00:20:20.620 --> 00:20:22.160
 off the streets last year

00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:25.000
 where there is long-term life change.

00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:28.340
 That is so little of a number

00:20:28.340 --> 00:20:30.980
 that it's not as, I don't know,

00:20:31.060 --> 00:20:32.060
 attractive to people.

00:20:32.059 --> 00:20:35.000
 But that's long-term life change.

00:20:35.379 --> 00:20:37.000
 That's growing people this way

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.179
 rather than trying to grow everything this way.

00:20:39.659 --> 00:20:41.200
 And I think an error of the church,

00:20:41.259 --> 00:20:42.720
 and maybe it's an American thing,

00:20:42.819 --> 00:20:44.919
 is that we just care about the big numbers.

00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:48.039
 You fed 1,000, which there is nothing wrong with.

00:20:49.299 --> 00:20:51.679
 But let's care about the deep things, too,

00:20:51.799 --> 00:20:54.019
 which often the investment with those

00:20:54.019 --> 00:20:56.740
 takes so long and is so much

00:20:56.740 --> 00:20:58.579
 that it can't have big numbers.

00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.640
 Another error is serving for me,

00:21:03.779 --> 00:21:05.380
 not for the ones being served.

00:21:06.099 --> 00:21:08.680
 Another book on your book list is Toxic Charity.

00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:10.380
 It's written by Bob Lupton,

00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:12.319
 who is an Atlanta gentleman.

00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:15.839
 You can see a lot of Atlanta stuff in my story

00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:17.000
 and in the class.

00:21:17.380 --> 00:21:19.579
 He started a ministry,

00:21:19.900 --> 00:21:21.480
 a Christmas gift ministry.

00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.460
 He was in a suburban church in North Atlanta.

00:21:24.460 --> 00:21:26.059
 It's a large church, lots of money.

00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:28.019
 He was like,

00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.259
 well, there's neighborhoods in the inner city

00:21:30.259 --> 00:21:31.480
 that they may not have Christmas.

00:21:31.720 --> 00:21:33.720
 Let me organize something

00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:35.360
 so that the kids get Christmas gifts.

00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:37.799
 So he did that year in, year out.

00:21:38.039 --> 00:21:40.000
 Felt called to move into that neighborhood

00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.059
 where he had been bringing the Christmas gifts.

00:21:43.400 --> 00:21:44.460
 What happened was

00:21:44.460 --> 00:21:46.240
 he was no longer an outsider.

00:21:46.420 --> 00:21:47.100
 He was a neighbor.

00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:49.579
 Christmas time comes around.

00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:51.480
 He's no longer leaving that thing.

00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:53.440
 He's at his neighbor's house.

00:21:53.559 --> 00:21:55.140
 That group comes to the house

00:21:55.140 --> 00:21:57.640
 and he realizes that the father

00:21:57.640 --> 00:21:59.779
 leaves the house when that happens.

00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.519
 Digs a little deeper

00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:03.259
 and realizes that the father

00:22:03.259 --> 00:22:04.960
 felt completely emasculated

00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:07.880
 because here strangers are coming in

00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:10.299
 giving his kids gifts he can't afford.

00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:12.759
 Light bulb goes over Bob's head.

00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:13.960
 He creates a co-op

00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:16.000
 where parents can come

00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:17.720
 and get the gifts

00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:19.259
 for whatever they can afford.

00:22:19.259 --> 00:22:24.839
 So, church is still donating the gifts.

00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:26.599
 Kids are still getting the gifts.

00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:27.920
 What the church isn't getting

00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:28.940
 is that Merry Christmas,

00:22:29.059 --> 00:22:30.039
 Holy Spirit goose bump

00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:32.180
 that feel good

00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:33.640
 because it's not hands-on

00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:35.220
 but it's doing so much better

00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:38.619
 giving the power to the parents.

00:22:39.579 --> 00:22:41.539
 We just organized

00:22:41.539 --> 00:22:43.460
 a Halloween costume drive

00:22:43.460 --> 00:22:45.400
 for, I am fortunate,

00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:46.200
 I live in Southeast,

00:22:46.200 --> 00:22:48.600
 so I have three housing,

00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:52.059
 public housing apartments near us.

00:22:53.059 --> 00:22:54.759
 That was the number one thing

00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:56.840
 I thought of as I was organizing that

00:22:56.840 --> 00:22:58.759
 is how can we give these

00:22:58.759 --> 00:22:59.600
 to the parents

00:22:59.600 --> 00:23:00.640
 so they can give them

00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:04.080
 because having the outsiders come in

00:23:04.080 --> 00:23:06.519
 doesn't give the dignity,

00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:09.580
 the ability to be the hero

00:23:09.580 --> 00:23:10.580
 for the parents

00:23:10.580 --> 00:23:11.440
 with their own children.

00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:12.279
 And I thought about

00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:13.140
 how I would feel

00:23:13.140 --> 00:23:14.420
 with Jack, my son,

00:23:14.940 --> 00:23:17.299
 if outsiders were just coming in

00:23:17.299 --> 00:23:18.880
 to do things

00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:19.759
 that I couldn't do.

00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:23.279
 So, am I serving for me

00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:25.960
 or am I serving for the people

00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:27.180
 being served?

00:23:29.360 --> 00:23:30.259
 The next error,

00:23:30.460 --> 00:23:30.900
 and don't worry,

00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:31.920
 I only have two left

00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:34.140
 because I know this gets,

00:23:34.360 --> 00:23:34.920
 this is kind of

00:23:34.920 --> 00:23:37.059
 the downer part of the class.

00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:39.940
 not knowing the true stages

00:23:39.940 --> 00:23:41.019
 of charity progression,

00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:42.159
 and I could teach

00:23:42.159 --> 00:23:43.639
 an entire class on this,

00:23:43.700 --> 00:23:44.359
 so I'm going to try

00:23:44.359 --> 00:23:45.259
 to be real brief

00:23:45.259 --> 00:23:46.480
 and like explain it

00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:46.879
 in a minute.

00:23:47.579 --> 00:23:49.259
 Let's say something happens

00:23:49.259 --> 00:23:51.079
 catastrophic to D.C.

00:23:54.059 --> 00:23:55.500
 It is very appropriate

00:23:55.500 --> 00:23:56.319
 for Maryland,

00:23:56.899 --> 00:23:57.379
 Virginia,

00:23:57.579 --> 00:23:58.099
 West Virginia

00:23:58.099 --> 00:23:58.980
 to come alongside

00:23:58.980 --> 00:24:01.480
 and provide our basic needs.

00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:03.339
 We can't provide our,

00:24:04.019 --> 00:24:04.500
 I mean,

00:24:04.579 --> 00:24:05.099
 the essentials.

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:06.480
 That's relief.

00:24:07.059 --> 00:24:08.940
 Let's say we can start,

00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:09.500
 we're building,

00:24:09.879 --> 00:24:10.579
 we're recovering

00:24:10.579 --> 00:24:11.500
 from the catastrophe.

00:24:12.579 --> 00:24:13.799
 We're able to handle

00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:14.619
 our basic needs,

00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:16.059
 but now we need infrastructure.

00:24:16.299 --> 00:24:17.720
 We need some of the things

00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:18.599
 for long term.

00:24:19.059 --> 00:24:21.139
 That is rehabilitation.

00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:23.099
 And finally,

00:24:23.259 --> 00:24:23.940
 we got those,

00:24:24.019 --> 00:24:26.359
 we're getting the infrastructure

00:24:26.359 --> 00:24:28.179
 after the catastrophe.

00:24:28.919 --> 00:24:30.679
 The states can step back

00:24:30.679 --> 00:24:31.419
 even more

00:24:31.419 --> 00:24:33.980
 and just walk alongside us

00:24:33.980 --> 00:24:36.399
 as needs come up,

00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.560
 but we're pretty much

00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:38.560
 managing everything.

00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:39.980
 That's development.

00:24:40.620 --> 00:24:42.519
 The problem that we have

00:24:42.519 --> 00:24:44.220
 is we answer everything

00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:45.460
 with relief answers.

00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:48.160
 We send our old T-shirts

00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:48.860
 to Africa.

00:24:49.640 --> 00:24:51.740
 We send peanut butter

00:24:51.740 --> 00:24:52.340
 to Haiti

00:24:52.340 --> 00:24:53.400
 after the earthquake,

00:24:54.060 --> 00:24:55.100
 which then killed

00:24:55.100 --> 00:24:56.780
 the peanut crop business

00:24:56.780 --> 00:24:57.259
 in Haiti.

00:24:57.259 --> 00:25:00.000
 we don't think long term

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.779
 because honestly,

00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:01.720
 relief answers

00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:03.099
 are so much easier

00:25:03.099 --> 00:25:05.180
 than thinking about

00:25:05.180 --> 00:25:06.079
 the long term.

00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:08.379
 Okay,

00:25:08.420 --> 00:25:09.039
 I think I did that

00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:09.559
 under a minute.

00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:10.940
 And I see head shaking,

00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:11.559
 so I think

00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:12.900
 that was explained okay.

00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:13.019
 Okay,

00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:15.379
 the last one,

00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:15.960
 and we'll get on

00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:16.740
 to happier things.

00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:18.400
 The last error,

00:25:18.579 --> 00:25:19.379
 and this is especially

00:25:19.379 --> 00:25:20.900
 for my younger crowd,

00:25:21.059 --> 00:25:22.000
 is what we call

00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:23.160
 in the non-profit world

00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:24.160
 slacktivism.

00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.580
 Has anybody heard

00:25:25.580 --> 00:25:26.620
 the term slacktivism?

00:25:27.460 --> 00:25:28.019
 Okay,

00:25:28.140 --> 00:25:29.300
 what slacktivism is,

00:25:29.340 --> 00:25:30.240
 is all you do

00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:31.800
 is share on social media

00:25:31.800 --> 00:25:32.720
 and think you are

00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:33.380
 doing anything.

00:25:34.360 --> 00:25:35.940
 I share on social media,

00:25:36.580 --> 00:25:39.100
 but that's not all.

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:40.259
 If we just ended

00:25:40.259 --> 00:25:41.200
 on social media,

00:25:41.340 --> 00:25:41.960
 it doesn't matter

00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:42.800
 how many articles

00:25:42.800 --> 00:25:43.340
 you share,

00:25:43.740 --> 00:25:44.779
 it's not as effective

00:25:44.779 --> 00:25:47.640
 as actually getting out

00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:48.680
 from behind the computer

00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:49.460
 or cell phone

00:25:49.460 --> 00:25:50.660
 and doing something.

00:25:50.660 --> 00:25:52.560
 Okay,

00:25:52.900 --> 00:25:54.000
 so I've depressed us

00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:54.660
 with all the things

00:25:54.660 --> 00:25:55.700
 we're possibly doing wrong.

00:25:55.820 --> 00:25:56.519
 Let me talk to you

00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:57.160
 about what we ought

00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:57.560
 to be doing.

00:25:58.360 --> 00:25:59.880
 The number one thing

00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:02.920
 that we try to,

00:26:03.060 --> 00:26:04.279
 with everything we do

00:26:04.279 --> 00:26:05.060
 with Lazarus,

00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:07.120
 we really keep this

00:26:07.120 --> 00:26:08.019
 in the back of our mind,

00:26:08.180 --> 00:26:09.600
 is we try to restore dignity.

00:26:10.840 --> 00:26:11.720
 Every interaction,

00:26:12.560 --> 00:26:13.580
 we think about that.

00:26:13.820 --> 00:26:14.740
 And how we do that

00:26:14.740 --> 00:26:15.720
 is with these thoughts

00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:16.759
 of being fully human.

00:26:17.400 --> 00:26:18.480
 To be fully human

00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:20.519
 is to serve and be served,

00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:21.980
 to know and be known,

00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.300
 to hear and be heard.

00:26:23.900 --> 00:26:25.420
 So with everything we do,

00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:27.620
 we try to have that

00:26:27.620 --> 00:26:28.440
 be a possibility.

00:26:29.019 --> 00:26:30.380
 Now, it's not always practical.

00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:31.440
 You saw Health Day

00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:32.240
 on the video.

00:26:33.060 --> 00:26:34.220
 Doctors are just going

00:26:34.220 --> 00:26:35.180
 to do medical things.

00:26:35.259 --> 00:26:35.860
 It's not going to be

00:26:35.860 --> 00:26:36.560
 a give and take.

00:26:37.300 --> 00:26:38.360
 There are just some areas

00:26:38.360 --> 00:26:39.000
 where service,

00:26:39.120 --> 00:26:40.000
 it can't be serve

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:40.580
 and be served.

00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:42.420
 But we do try to think

00:26:42.420 --> 00:26:43.940
 about that in our interactions

00:26:43.940 --> 00:26:45.800
 so that our friends

00:26:45.800 --> 00:26:46.460
 on the street

00:26:46.460 --> 00:26:49.420
 who are often denied dignity

00:26:49.420 --> 00:26:50.880
 can have the dignity

00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:52.200
 of being fully human.

00:26:55.480 --> 00:26:55.960
 Wow.

00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:58.120
 I lost my spot.

00:26:59.980 --> 00:27:00.400
 Oh, okay.

00:27:00.460 --> 00:27:00.759
 No, I didn't.

00:27:02.580 --> 00:27:04.160
 How that also comes out

00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:05.220
 is doing things

00:27:05.220 --> 00:27:06.880
 with, not for.

00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:08.600
 Let me give you

00:27:08.600 --> 00:27:10.039
 a perfect example of that.

00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:11.700
 We're coming upon the holidays

00:27:11.700 --> 00:27:14.120
 and it's going to be time

00:27:14.120 --> 00:27:15.640
 for our annual Christmas dinner.

00:27:15.700 --> 00:27:16.700
 I think it's our 12th.

00:27:16.700 --> 00:27:17.940
 And what it is,

00:27:17.980 --> 00:27:18.900
 is this an outdoor

00:27:18.900 --> 00:27:19.600
 Christmas dinner

00:27:19.600 --> 00:27:22.740
 where we have real plates

00:27:22.740 --> 00:27:23.700
 because that is a luxury,

00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:25.400
 candlelight.

00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:26.600
 We do it outdoors

00:27:26.600 --> 00:27:27.299
 because honestly

00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:28.180
 our chronically homeless

00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:29.000
 are more comfortable

00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:29.779
 outdoors often.

00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:32.940
 What happens is,

00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:34.019
 kind of like,

00:27:34.120 --> 00:27:35.059
 let's say I invited you

00:27:35.059 --> 00:27:36.200
 all over to my house,

00:27:36.440 --> 00:27:36.680
 which,

00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:38.160
 another hour

00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.840
 that may happen.

00:27:40.920 --> 00:27:42.140
 If you come over,

00:27:42.299 --> 00:27:43.200
 I cook you dinner,

00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:44.539
 but then I sit down

00:27:44.539 --> 00:27:44.900
 with you.

00:27:44.900 --> 00:27:46.400
 It's not that

00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:47.540
 you are,

00:27:48.560 --> 00:27:48.880
 you know,

00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:49.780
 you have the table

00:27:49.780 --> 00:27:51.980
 and I'm putting food down

00:27:51.980 --> 00:27:55.040
 and all of the value

00:27:55.040 --> 00:27:56.519
 is perceived on my end.

00:27:56.900 --> 00:27:57.180
 No.

00:27:57.300 --> 00:27:57.980
 When you come over,

00:27:58.040 --> 00:27:58.700
 I cook dinner

00:27:58.700 --> 00:27:59.840
 and I sit down with you.

00:27:59.960 --> 00:28:00.620
 I pour wine,

00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:01.960
 I drink a glass with you

00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:02.540
 or two.

00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:07.340
 Do things with,

00:28:07.420 --> 00:28:07.700
 not for.

00:28:07.800 --> 00:28:08.759
 So at the Christmas dinner,

00:28:09.180 --> 00:28:09.920
 we sit down.

00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:10.800
 We serve, yes,

00:28:10.800 --> 00:28:11.960
 but then we sit down

00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:14.500
 and share our advent together,

00:28:14.779 --> 00:28:15.460
 share the year

00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:16.579
 that we've spent together,

00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:17.720
 celebrating.

00:28:19.779 --> 00:28:21.100
 The next area

00:28:21.100 --> 00:28:22.440
 of what we ought

00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:22.980
 to be doing

00:28:22.980 --> 00:28:24.539
 is giving time

00:28:24.539 --> 00:28:25.000
 and space

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:25.860
 to build relationship,

00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:27.259
 to encourage equipping.

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:29.200
 Andre Nowen says,

00:28:29.460 --> 00:28:31.019
 to convert hostility

00:28:31.019 --> 00:28:31.840
 into hospitality

00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:33.059
 requires the creation

00:28:33.059 --> 00:28:33.700
 of a friendly,

00:28:33.860 --> 00:28:34.440
 empty space

00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:35.319
 where we can reach out

00:28:35.319 --> 00:28:36.600
 to our fellow human beings

00:28:36.600 --> 00:28:37.660
 and invite them

00:28:37.660 --> 00:28:38.380
 into relationship.

00:28:38.380 --> 00:28:40.040
 This conversion

00:28:40.040 --> 00:28:41.280
 is an inner event

00:28:41.280 --> 00:28:42.500
 that cannot be manipulated

00:28:42.500 --> 00:28:43.520
 but must develop

00:28:43.520 --> 00:28:44.140
 from within.

00:28:45.360 --> 00:28:46.420
 And just as we cannot

00:28:46.420 --> 00:28:47.680
 force a plant to grow,

00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:49.300
 we can take away

00:28:49.300 --> 00:28:50.220
 the weeds and stones

00:28:50.220 --> 00:28:50.820
 which prevent

00:28:50.820 --> 00:28:51.440
 its development.

00:28:54.260 --> 00:28:55.900
 We cannot force anyone

00:28:55.900 --> 00:28:57.000
 to such a personal,

00:28:57.200 --> 00:28:58.120
 intimate change of heart,

00:28:58.260 --> 00:28:59.460
 but we can offer the space

00:28:59.460 --> 00:29:00.580
 where such a change

00:29:00.580 --> 00:29:01.640
 can take place.

00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:03.380
 That's our weekly ministry.

00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:04.840
 Three times a week,

00:29:04.840 --> 00:29:07.480
 we serve in downtown Atlanta

00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:10.640
 and we just hang out.

00:29:11.099 --> 00:29:11.940
 I talk sports.

00:29:12.339 --> 00:29:13.039
 Love sports.

00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:14.720
 Politics.

00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:15.960
 I'm glad I'm not there now

00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:16.740
 but I'm up here

00:29:16.740 --> 00:29:17.240
 so I don't know.

00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:18.079
 That's, yeah,

00:29:18.220 --> 00:29:19.140
 that's a different conversation.

00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:22.220
 We just are consistent.

00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:23.220
 We're there.

00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:25.440
 No agenda.

00:29:26.420 --> 00:29:27.680
 You want to just talk to me

00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:28.339
 about your day

00:29:28.339 --> 00:29:28.960
 over lemonade

00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:29.720
 if it's hot,

00:29:29.819 --> 00:29:31.160
 hot cocoa if it's cold?

00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:32.019
 Great.

00:29:32.579 --> 00:29:34.059
 We have no expectations.

00:29:34.059 --> 00:29:35.440
 We just want you here.

00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:37.319
 And through that space

00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:37.980
 that's created,

00:29:38.939 --> 00:29:39.740
 through the trust

00:29:39.740 --> 00:29:40.359
 that is built

00:29:40.359 --> 00:29:41.679
 is where life change happens,

00:29:41.679 --> 00:29:42.460
 not instantly.

00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:45.439
 So create the space.

00:29:46.779 --> 00:29:47.859
 Another thing the church

00:29:47.859 --> 00:29:48.500
 ought to be doing

00:29:48.500 --> 00:29:49.439
 is giving the voiceless

00:29:49.439 --> 00:29:50.000
 a voice.

00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:52.019
 In 2003,

00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:54.019
 three Cobb County men,

00:29:54.359 --> 00:29:55.700
 Cobb County is a county

00:29:55.700 --> 00:29:57.519
 that kind of is next to Atlanta

00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:58.799
 but kind of outside of it,

00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:00.659
 decide to make it a sport

00:30:00.659 --> 00:30:01.759
 to throw rocks

00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:02.939
 at sleeping homeless men.

00:30:02.940 --> 00:30:07.640
 They got one of our friends,

00:30:08.299 --> 00:30:09.220
 his name was Otis,

00:30:09.320 --> 00:30:10.799
 and Otis was one of those

00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:11.720
 true hard luck,

00:30:11.860 --> 00:30:12.600
 sorry,

00:30:12.980 --> 00:30:13.799
 I said I'd mess up words,

00:30:13.900 --> 00:30:15.019
 hard luck cases.

00:30:17.019 --> 00:30:19.000
 He had somebody

00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:20.400
 connected to his identity

00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:21.860
 that had committed a crime,

00:30:22.120 --> 00:30:22.940
 same name.

00:30:23.580 --> 00:30:25.059
 And when you are

00:30:25.059 --> 00:30:26.200
 under-resourced,

00:30:26.360 --> 00:30:27.880
 legal matters can take years

00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:28.580
 to sort through.

00:30:28.579 --> 00:30:30.740
 So through all of that,

00:30:30.980 --> 00:30:32.099
 he lost,

00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:32.799
 you know,

00:30:32.879 --> 00:30:34.319
 the little bit of money

00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:34.919
 he had

00:30:34.919 --> 00:30:36.519
 and was homeless.

00:30:37.079 --> 00:30:37.799
 Got a job

00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:38.579
 once it got sorted,

00:30:39.019 --> 00:30:40.159
 got off the streets,

00:30:40.939 --> 00:30:41.259
 you know,

00:30:41.460 --> 00:30:42.839
 he's doing well.

00:30:43.339 --> 00:30:44.539
 Hurt his back on the job.

00:30:45.159 --> 00:30:45.899
 Didn't take long

00:30:45.899 --> 00:30:46.679
 for him to snowball

00:30:46.679 --> 00:30:48.819
 into being on the streets again.

00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:51.619
 Got the call

00:30:51.619 --> 00:30:52.740
 that he was in the hospital

00:30:52.740 --> 00:30:53.619
 with 50 stitches

00:30:53.619 --> 00:30:54.519
 in the back of his head.

00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:55.259
 He did survive.

00:30:56.500 --> 00:30:57.639
 He's unconscious.

00:30:58.579 --> 00:31:00.899
 I have to take his place.

00:31:01.059 --> 00:31:01.720
 I have to give

00:31:01.720 --> 00:31:02.740
 the voiceless a voice.

00:31:02.899 --> 00:31:03.939
 Called the AJC.

00:31:04.460 --> 00:31:05.659
 They did a story on it.

00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:06.519
 I don't know if the guys

00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:07.159
 were ever caught,

00:31:07.339 --> 00:31:07.960
 but the stories,

00:31:08.299 --> 00:31:09.559
 the sport,

00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:11.779
 the crimes stopped.

00:31:12.819 --> 00:31:14.220
 Give the voiceless a voice.

00:31:15.179 --> 00:31:16.579
 You'll notice in these

00:31:16.579 --> 00:31:18.000
 that I'm not talking much

00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:19.279
 about meeting physical needs.

00:31:19.639 --> 00:31:20.439
 Didn't mention any,

00:31:20.639 --> 00:31:20.960
 actually.

00:31:22.099 --> 00:31:22.439
 And,

00:31:22.539 --> 00:31:24.299
 obviously,

00:31:24.519 --> 00:31:25.859
 meeting physical needs

00:31:25.859 --> 00:31:26.759
 is important.

00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:29.279
 if it is a relief answer,

00:31:29.660 --> 00:31:30.539
 if somebody cannot

00:31:30.539 --> 00:31:31.539
 manage their own.

00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:33.920
 I'll give you a story.

00:31:33.980 --> 00:31:34.819
 I've got lots of stories.

00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:35.480
 Larry,

00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:37.759
 who was in the video.

00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:39.319
 Actually,

00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:40.480
 before I tell you this story,

00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:41.720
 can I tell you a funny story

00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:42.200
 about Larry?

00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:42.960
 Would you all like

00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:43.559
 a humorous story?

00:31:43.740 --> 00:31:43.779
 Yeah.

00:31:43.859 --> 00:31:44.099
 Okay.

00:31:44.859 --> 00:31:45.799
 Larry came to mine

00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:46.740
 at my husband's wedding.

00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:48.660
 I love him.

00:31:48.660 --> 00:31:51.340
 We still keep in touch.

00:31:51.420 --> 00:31:52.700
 He got the Bitmoji app.

00:31:52.800 --> 00:31:53.680
 This is not the funny story.

00:31:53.779 --> 00:31:54.560
 This is a different one.

00:31:54.779 --> 00:31:55.320
 And I get,

00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:55.620
 like,

00:31:56.120 --> 00:31:57.120
 daily Bitmoji

00:31:57.120 --> 00:31:58.320
 things with him.

00:31:59.240 --> 00:31:59.600
 Anyway,

00:31:59.779 --> 00:32:00.620
 he came to our wedding,

00:32:01.300 --> 00:32:02.779
 and he told Matt,

00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:04.580
 who was in the video as well,

00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:05.920
 he's a long-term volunteer,

00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:07.940
 just how nervous he was.

00:32:08.040 --> 00:32:08.180
 You know,

00:32:08.220 --> 00:32:09.480
 he feels like my father

00:32:09.480 --> 00:32:10.240
 in a lot of ways.

00:32:10.800 --> 00:32:11.120
 So,

00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:12.779
 I was four days shy

00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:13.340
 of 37

00:32:13.340 --> 00:32:14.340
 when I got married.

00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:14.620
 So,

00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:15.600
 I was an older bride,

00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:16.740
 and I didn't have bridesmaids

00:32:16.740 --> 00:32:18.319
 because I wasn't going to do that

00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:18.919
 to my friends

00:32:18.919 --> 00:32:20.019
 because we're all older

00:32:20.019 --> 00:32:20.639
 and have been through,

00:32:20.779 --> 00:32:20.819
 like,

00:32:20.839 --> 00:32:21.359
 20 weddings.

00:32:22.579 --> 00:32:24.279
 And my husband was a widower,

00:32:24.599 --> 00:32:25.559
 so we just decided,

00:32:25.679 --> 00:32:26.699
 let's just keep it simple.

00:32:27.059 --> 00:32:29.459
 He met me halfway up the aisle,

00:32:29.859 --> 00:32:31.079
 and then we walked down together.

00:32:31.719 --> 00:32:31.919
 Well,

00:32:31.959 --> 00:32:33.500
 when he started to come up the aisle

00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:34.139
 to meet me,

00:32:34.339 --> 00:32:35.980
 Larry thought he was walking out on me.

00:32:36.439 --> 00:32:37.719
 Got up to tackle him.

00:32:39.639 --> 00:32:40.799
 Matt stopped him,

00:32:40.879 --> 00:32:41.259
 fortunately,

00:32:41.480 --> 00:32:42.359
 so all went okay.

00:32:42.359 --> 00:32:42.779
 There was,

00:32:43.219 --> 00:32:44.599
 Joe was not injured on her,

00:32:44.819 --> 00:32:45.119
 yeah,

00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:45.879
 at the wedding.

00:32:46.679 --> 00:32:48.099
 But I really love Larry,

00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:49.119
 and he's hysterical.

00:32:49.819 --> 00:32:50.099
 So,

00:32:50.279 --> 00:32:50.919
 2009,

00:32:51.099 --> 00:32:51.899
 the serious story.

00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:53.419
 In 2009,

00:32:53.899 --> 00:32:56.539
 he was having issues.

00:32:56.959 --> 00:32:57.779
 He had brain tumors,

00:32:58.039 --> 00:33:00.759
 and the way his work,

00:33:00.839 --> 00:33:01.279
 I don't know,

00:33:01.419 --> 00:33:02.259
 it would just kind of go,

00:33:02.339 --> 00:33:02.919
 ebb and flow

00:33:02.919 --> 00:33:04.279
 between the doctor's treatments,

00:33:04.699 --> 00:33:05.739
 and he would feel good,

00:33:05.779 --> 00:33:06.519
 and then he would feel poorly.

00:33:07.139 --> 00:33:08.419
 And he was feeling poorly.

00:33:09.439 --> 00:33:11.039
 And it was fall time,

00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:12.279
 it was starting to get cold,

00:33:12.419 --> 00:33:13.739
 and he was sleeping outside,

00:33:13.879 --> 00:33:14.539
 and I hated it

00:33:14.539 --> 00:33:16.759
 because this is not just a random person.

00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:18.139
 This is someone I consider dear.

00:33:19.079 --> 00:33:19.500
 And so,

00:33:19.700 --> 00:33:22.059
 I would give him five or nine dollars

00:33:22.059 --> 00:33:23.440
 to get rooms at shelters.

00:33:23.559 --> 00:33:24.720
 Some shelters in Atlanta,

00:33:24.940 --> 00:33:25.980
 you can have a private room

00:33:25.980 --> 00:33:27.319
 for a very little fee.

00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:29.079
 And so,

00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:30.440
 I did that for a couple months

00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:32.079
 because I just,

00:33:32.299 --> 00:33:33.960
 I hated that he was going to be sleeping

00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:34.460
 on the street,

00:33:34.539 --> 00:33:35.559
 and I care about him.

00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:36.440
 And so,

00:33:36.779 --> 00:33:39.139
 it came to be about December,

00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:39.779
 and Chris,

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:40.299
 the pastor,

00:33:40.519 --> 00:33:40.919
 said,

00:33:41.079 --> 00:33:41.339
 you know,

00:33:41.619 --> 00:33:42.500
 why don't you go away

00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:43.220
 for Christmas

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:45.279
 and just turn off your phone,

00:33:45.460 --> 00:33:47.000
 which is such a wise thing

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:48.159
 to say to anybody.

00:33:48.679 --> 00:33:49.480
 But at that point,

00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:50.200
 I was burnt out.

00:33:50.879 --> 00:33:52.399
 Downside to this kind of employment

00:33:52.399 --> 00:33:54.679
 is that every decision you make

00:33:54.679 --> 00:33:56.019
 has an emotional weight to it.

00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:57.339
 Even if you're putting

00:33:57.339 --> 00:33:59.079
 the best boundaries up,

00:33:59.399 --> 00:34:00.720
 there's an emotional weight

00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:01.619
 to that decision.

00:34:02.419 --> 00:34:02.659
 And so,

00:34:02.719 --> 00:34:03.319
 I was burnt out,

00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:05.339
 and I took his guidance,

00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:06.679
 and I went to Michigan

00:34:06.679 --> 00:34:07.519
 with my best friend

00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:08.159
 and her family,

00:34:08.859 --> 00:34:10.380
 and told Larry I was going,

00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:12.039
 and left town,

00:34:12.579 --> 00:34:13.500
 and got back,

00:34:13.759 --> 00:34:14.719
 phones on,

00:34:14.940 --> 00:34:16.539
 and he had found

00:34:16.539 --> 00:34:17.799
 a place to stay

00:34:17.799 --> 00:34:19.059
 and a job he could do

00:34:19.059 --> 00:34:19.960
 with his ailment.

00:34:21.539 --> 00:34:23.400
 If I would have just stepped back

00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:24.739
 and gave him the dignity

00:34:24.739 --> 00:34:26.079
 of problem solving,

00:34:26.839 --> 00:34:28.799
 this could have probably been solved

00:34:28.799 --> 00:34:29.900
 a couple months beforehand.

00:34:29.900 --> 00:34:32.639
 I kept going in

00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:34.220
 because I'm going to fix it.

00:34:34.680 --> 00:34:35.960
 It's all kind of about me.

00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:36.940
 I cared.

00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:37.519
 I mean,

00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:38.720
 it wasn't completely selfish,

00:34:38.980 --> 00:34:40.880
 but I didn't allow him

00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:42.320
 the dignity of problem solving,

00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:43.260
 so I came up with

00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:44.079
 Band-Aid solutions

00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:45.059
 when he came up

00:34:45.059 --> 00:34:46.360
 with a long-term solution.

00:34:47.200 --> 00:34:48.400
 So I tell you that story

00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:49.200
 is that, yes,

00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:50.400
 meet physical needs.

00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:50.980
 It's important.

00:34:52.180 --> 00:34:53.680
 But always ask yourself,

00:34:53.800 --> 00:34:54.579
 can this person

00:34:54.579 --> 00:34:56.940
 use the dignity,

00:34:57.160 --> 00:34:57.740
 the intelligence

00:34:57.740 --> 00:34:58.619
 that God gave them

00:34:58.619 --> 00:34:59.440
 to problem solve

00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.679
 even better than you?

00:35:03.679 --> 00:35:04.159
 Okay,

00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:06.159
 so the last section

00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:07.900
 is practical application.

00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:09.880
 And this is honestly

00:35:09.880 --> 00:35:11.179
 the part where most people

00:35:11.179 --> 00:35:12.539
 fly me in to talk about

00:35:12.539 --> 00:35:14.219
 because most people

00:35:14.219 --> 00:35:15.920
 that I go around the country

00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:16.859
 teach in this class

00:35:16.859 --> 00:35:18.000
 and they live,

00:35:18.179 --> 00:35:18.339
 work,

00:35:18.380 --> 00:35:19.440
 or go to school in cities

00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:21.019
 and just want to know

00:35:21.019 --> 00:35:21.739
 how to love

00:35:21.739 --> 00:35:23.079
 their homeless neighbors.

00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:24.619
 So,

00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:26.239
 before I start

00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:27.139
 any of this,

00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:28.500
 I want to

00:35:28.500 --> 00:35:29.579
 get some head shakes

00:35:29.579 --> 00:35:30.380
 that you're hearing me

00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:31.099
 when I say

00:35:31.099 --> 00:35:32.500
 that everything

00:35:32.500 --> 00:35:33.559
 I'm about to say

00:35:33.559 --> 00:35:35.239
 is when you are safe.

00:35:35.900 --> 00:35:37.079
 I have some head shakes,

00:35:37.340 --> 00:35:37.759
 yes?

00:35:38.319 --> 00:35:40.039
 You are in a safe environment.

00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:42.199
 If you are not safe,

00:35:42.319 --> 00:35:43.099
 get out of there.

00:35:44.920 --> 00:35:45.299
 Okay?

00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:46.039
 All right, good.

00:35:46.179 --> 00:35:46.840
 I needed someone

00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:47.559
 to tell me this

00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:48.380
 16 years ago.

00:35:48.380 --> 00:35:50.099
 Three points

00:35:50.099 --> 00:35:51.019
 for passing those

00:35:51.019 --> 00:35:51.599
 on the street,

00:35:52.019 --> 00:35:52.860
 on your way to work,

00:35:52.940 --> 00:35:53.480
 school, whatever.

00:35:54.140 --> 00:35:55.579
 I like to fight against

00:35:55.579 --> 00:35:57.500
 your invisible stare.

00:35:57.840 --> 00:35:59.119
 We kind of know that

00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:00.940
 you're walking along,

00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:02.079
 they're here,

00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:05.440
 maybe you're afraid

00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:06.320
 they're going to ask

00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:06.780
 for money,

00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:08.180
 maybe it's their visual

00:36:08.180 --> 00:36:09.820
 appearance is emotionally

00:36:09.820 --> 00:36:10.740
 moving,

00:36:10.900 --> 00:36:11.900
 I don't know what it is,

00:36:11.980 --> 00:36:12.800
 I fight it too.

00:36:12.940 --> 00:36:13.800
 But I like to fight

00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:15.440
 against your invisible stare.

00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:18.039
 And one reason

00:36:18.039 --> 00:36:19.079
 I like to do this

00:36:19.079 --> 00:36:21.099
 is because of a story

00:36:21.099 --> 00:36:22.279
 that a volunteer told me

00:36:22.279 --> 00:36:23.119
 after a health day.

00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:25.779
 She was at the end

00:36:25.779 --> 00:36:26.340
 of health day

00:36:26.340 --> 00:36:27.340
 just saying goodbye

00:36:27.340 --> 00:36:28.360
 to a guest

00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:29.059
 that had attended.

00:36:29.460 --> 00:36:30.239
 And she was like,

00:36:30.300 --> 00:36:31.360
 it was so good

00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:32.039
 to see you.

00:36:32.460 --> 00:36:33.420
 And he looked back

00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:34.420
 at her with like

00:36:34.420 --> 00:36:35.360
 the most intensity

00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:35.900
 and said,

00:36:36.059 --> 00:36:37.279
 it was so good

00:36:37.279 --> 00:36:37.880
 to be seen.

00:36:38.539 --> 00:36:40.059
 We don't realize

00:36:40.059 --> 00:36:41.500
 that being seen

00:36:41.500 --> 00:36:42.980
 is a luxury

00:36:42.980 --> 00:36:44.320
 for the homeless.

00:36:44.940 --> 00:36:45.679
 Because they often

00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:46.380
 want to be kind of

00:36:46.380 --> 00:36:47.599
 put into the corner,

00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:48.880
 away so we don't

00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:49.579
 have to deal with them,

00:36:49.659 --> 00:36:50.559
 don't have to see them.

00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:52.119
 Don't have to remember

00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:54.179
 that they are still

00:36:54.179 --> 00:36:55.519
 very much

00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:56.719
 creatures of dignity

00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:57.960
 that God created.

00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:01.019
 I like to look

00:37:01.019 --> 00:37:01.699
 people in the eyes.

00:37:01.980 --> 00:37:03.199
 I, like I said,

00:37:03.279 --> 00:37:04.199
 was raised in New Jersey

00:37:04.199 --> 00:37:05.000
 where we don't talk

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:05.400
 to anybody

00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:06.279
 and don't look at people

00:37:06.279 --> 00:37:06.860
 we don't know.

00:37:06.940 --> 00:37:08.000
 And then spent 14 years

00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:08.460
 in Atlanta

00:37:08.460 --> 00:37:09.659
 where we tell everything

00:37:09.659 --> 00:37:10.440
 to everybody.

00:37:10.940 --> 00:37:12.039
 Then they talk behind you,

00:37:12.079 --> 00:37:12.639
 behind your back

00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:13.219
 after you leave.

00:37:13.219 --> 00:37:13.759
 But still,

00:37:13.959 --> 00:37:14.739
 you're telling

00:37:14.739 --> 00:37:15.759
 the Chick-fil-A person

00:37:15.759 --> 00:37:17.039
 your entire life story

00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:17.639
 very quickly.

00:37:18.099 --> 00:37:18.759
 So now I have

00:37:18.759 --> 00:37:19.619
 no problem

00:37:19.619 --> 00:37:20.819
 saying hi.

00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:21.799
 It's true,

00:37:21.859 --> 00:37:22.239
 isn't it?

00:37:25.919 --> 00:37:26.359
 Yeah,

00:37:26.519 --> 00:37:27.899
 so I like to say hi

00:37:27.899 --> 00:37:28.959
 when I'm comfortable

00:37:28.959 --> 00:37:30.819
 and when I'm safe.

00:37:31.639 --> 00:37:32.759
 And I also like

00:37:32.759 --> 00:37:33.419
 to tell people

00:37:33.419 --> 00:37:34.239
 that you are allowed

00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:34.859
 to be busy.

00:37:35.839 --> 00:37:36.599
 Sometimes people

00:37:36.599 --> 00:37:37.779
 need to hear that

00:37:37.779 --> 00:37:39.859
 because they feel guilty

00:37:39.859 --> 00:37:41.039
 when they're rushing

00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:41.500
 to work

00:37:41.500 --> 00:37:42.460
 because they're running late

00:37:42.460 --> 00:37:43.579
 because life happens.

00:37:43.719 --> 00:37:44.179
 It does.

00:37:45.179 --> 00:37:46.039
 Don't feel guilty.

00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:46.800
 The next day,

00:37:46.900 --> 00:37:47.579
 just make a little bit

00:37:47.579 --> 00:37:48.539
 more time if you can

00:37:48.539 --> 00:37:50.340
 to give space

00:37:50.340 --> 00:37:51.039
 to say hi.

00:37:52.619 --> 00:37:53.539
 Three points

00:37:53.539 --> 00:37:55.000
 on being asked money.

00:37:56.099 --> 00:37:57.099
 I like to change

00:37:57.099 --> 00:37:58.280
 the focus of this question

00:37:58.280 --> 00:37:59.579
 and I get this question.

00:37:59.820 --> 00:38:00.800
 It is the number one

00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:01.539
 thing I'm asked.

00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:04.239
 Do I give money?

00:38:04.380 --> 00:38:05.059
 Should I give money?

00:38:05.219 --> 00:38:05.880
 I like to change

00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:06.340
 the question

00:38:06.340 --> 00:38:07.500
 do I know this person?

00:38:08.780 --> 00:38:09.699
 If I've taken the time

00:38:09.699 --> 00:38:10.719
 to get to know this person,

00:38:10.719 --> 00:38:11.559
 I know the answer.

00:38:12.259 --> 00:38:13.319
 If I'm not comfortable

00:38:13.319 --> 00:38:13.919
 giving out money,

00:38:13.980 --> 00:38:14.719
 I don't give out money.

00:38:16.459 --> 00:38:17.379
 One to two dollars

00:38:17.379 --> 00:38:18.139
 isn't going to make

00:38:18.139 --> 00:38:18.980
 or break a situation.

00:38:19.579 --> 00:38:20.639
 So if you do want

00:38:20.639 --> 00:38:21.439
 to give money,

00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:22.659
 great, give a dollar.

00:38:22.879 --> 00:38:23.239
 Give two.

00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:25.079
 There are people

00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:26.719
 that, like Larry,

00:38:27.059 --> 00:38:27.899
 come to my wedding,

00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:30.719
 come visit me in D.C.,

00:38:31.679 --> 00:38:33.119
 spend the holidays with me

00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:34.000
 and there are people

00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:35.179
 that I won't allow

00:38:35.179 --> 00:38:35.739
 in my home

00:38:35.739 --> 00:38:37.259
 because I do know them

00:38:37.259 --> 00:38:38.279
 and I can't trust them

00:38:38.279 --> 00:38:39.439
 around my two-year-old son.

00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:41.559
 They are known,

00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:42.400
 good or bad,

00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:43.220
 they are known.

00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:45.440
 You don't,

00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:47.000
 haven't built that time yet,

00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:48.940
 want to do something kind,

00:38:49.099 --> 00:38:49.800
 don't feel comfortable

00:38:49.800 --> 00:38:50.440
 giving money,

00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:51.599
 water bottles,

00:38:51.820 --> 00:38:52.519
 granola bars,

00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:54.039
 Metro cards,

00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:55.780
 McDonald's gift cards,

00:38:55.900 --> 00:38:56.900
 Starbucks gift cards.

00:38:57.400 --> 00:38:58.380
 There are other things

00:38:58.380 --> 00:38:58.880
 to give

00:38:58.880 --> 00:38:59.860
 that you're prepared

00:38:59.860 --> 00:39:00.820
 to show kindness,

00:39:01.019 --> 00:39:02.119
 to build towards

00:39:02.119 --> 00:39:02.820
 getting to know

00:39:02.820 --> 00:39:03.340
 your neighbor

00:39:03.340 --> 00:39:04.059
 who you pass

00:39:04.059 --> 00:39:04.860
 day in, day out.

00:39:04.860 --> 00:39:08.140
 So, conversation

00:39:08.140 --> 00:39:09.260
 and building relationships.

00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:11.539
 After you've seen Sam

00:39:11.539 --> 00:39:14.079
 every day for a long time,

00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:15.440
 you've started to say hi,

00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:16.620
 you've started to become friendly.

00:39:18.220 --> 00:39:18.980
 A lot of times

00:39:18.980 --> 00:39:19.519
 I get told,

00:39:19.660 --> 00:39:20.180
 oh, but this is

00:39:20.180 --> 00:39:20.780
 kind of uncomfortable,

00:39:20.900 --> 00:39:21.380
 I don't know

00:39:21.380 --> 00:39:22.620
 where to get from A to B,

00:39:22.700 --> 00:39:23.519
 how do I do that?

00:39:24.160 --> 00:39:26.099
 So, I give them

00:39:26.099 --> 00:39:27.240
 this question to ask

00:39:27.240 --> 00:39:28.680
 after names are exchanged,

00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:29.140
 all that,

00:39:29.140 --> 00:39:30.099
 and this has saved me

00:39:30.099 --> 00:39:31.440
 not only on the streets

00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:31.900
 of Atlanta,

00:39:31.900 --> 00:39:34.320
 but in stuffy dinner parties

00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:37.019
 that I don't know

00:39:37.019 --> 00:39:38.079
 what I'm going to have

00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:38.500
 in common.

00:39:39.559 --> 00:39:40.519
 Where are you from?

00:39:42.039 --> 00:39:42.980
 You can build

00:39:42.980 --> 00:39:43.960
 on that question,

00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:45.680
 especially in D.C.

00:39:48.900 --> 00:39:50.079
 When did you move here?

00:39:50.220 --> 00:39:51.200
 Oh, you're from New Jersey.

00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:52.240
 Are your parents there?

00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:53.180
 There's just so many

00:39:53.180 --> 00:39:54.039
 different directions

00:39:54.039 --> 00:39:55.139
 you can go with that question

00:39:55.139 --> 00:39:55.780
 and all of a sudden

00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:56.619
 somebody's telling you

00:39:56.619 --> 00:39:57.160
 about the sister

00:39:57.160 --> 00:39:57.940
 they are no longer

00:39:57.940 --> 00:39:58.519
 talking to

00:39:58.519 --> 00:39:59.160
 and haven't talked to

00:39:59.160 --> 00:39:59.820
 in 20 years

00:39:59.820 --> 00:40:01.000
 because people want

00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:02.400
 to tell you their story.

00:40:02.659 --> 00:40:04.019
 It's just about the keys

00:40:04.019 --> 00:40:04.880
 to get the comfort.

00:40:06.219 --> 00:40:07.159
 And when you're

00:40:07.159 --> 00:40:08.820
 having that conversation,

00:40:09.159 --> 00:40:10.400
 I like to tell people

00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:11.960
 to have it be

00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:12.880
 an equal conversation

00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:13.659
 if you're comfortable

00:40:13.659 --> 00:40:15.559
 because nobody likes

00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:16.139
 to be peppered

00:40:16.139 --> 00:40:17.199
 with 100 questions

00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:18.559
 and feel interrogated.

00:40:19.059 --> 00:40:20.360
 Oh, I moved to D.C.

00:40:20.440 --> 00:40:21.420
 three and a half years ago.

00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:22.019
 I love it.

00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:22.699
 I live in Southeast.

00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:23.179
 You know,

00:40:23.239 --> 00:40:24.940
 just the ebb and flow

00:40:24.940 --> 00:40:25.719
 of conversation.

00:40:26.500 --> 00:40:28.300
 And as I'm sharing my life,

00:40:28.300 --> 00:40:29.199
 I like to come

00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:29.940
 with the highs

00:40:29.940 --> 00:40:30.760
 and lows of life.

00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:31.760
 Just come as I am.

00:40:31.880 --> 00:40:32.659
 Whatever that is.

00:40:33.099 --> 00:40:34.159
 I'll give you two examples

00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:34.599
 of that.

00:40:34.820 --> 00:40:35.659
 In 2002,

00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:37.219
 I got my first new car.

00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:39.219
 It was a beautiful

00:40:39.219 --> 00:40:41.219
 black Volkswagen Jetta.

00:40:42.019 --> 00:40:43.159
 And I'd had a lemon.

00:40:43.739 --> 00:40:44.139
 I don't know

00:40:44.139 --> 00:40:44.539
 if any of you

00:40:44.539 --> 00:40:45.179
 have had that car

00:40:45.179 --> 00:40:46.099
 that cost $1,000

00:40:46.099 --> 00:40:46.920
 in the beginning

00:40:46.920 --> 00:40:47.900
 and then $14,000

00:40:47.900 --> 00:40:48.980
 later in repairs.

00:40:49.860 --> 00:40:50.800
 It was awful.

00:40:51.139 --> 00:40:52.239
 So it had died

00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:53.699
 a bad death.

00:40:54.059 --> 00:40:55.639
 And I needed

00:40:55.639 --> 00:40:56.659
 something just stable.

00:40:56.960 --> 00:40:57.739
 Something that I could

00:40:57.739 --> 00:40:58.400
 get to work in.

00:40:58.400 --> 00:40:59.700
 So I decided

00:40:59.700 --> 00:41:00.139
 going to go

00:41:00.139 --> 00:41:00.820
 the Jetta route.

00:41:01.099 --> 00:41:02.780
 And I was driving

00:41:02.780 --> 00:41:03.960
 to the parking lot

00:41:03.960 --> 00:41:05.000
 where we normally served.

00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:06.160
 And I was feeling

00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:07.000
 that anxiety

00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:08.639
 because I'm going in

00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:09.500
 with this beautiful

00:41:09.500 --> 00:41:10.200
 black car

00:41:10.200 --> 00:41:11.000
 that I love.

00:41:11.099 --> 00:41:11.300
 I mean,

00:41:11.340 --> 00:41:12.039
 when black cars

00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:12.660
 are washed,

00:41:13.340 --> 00:41:14.240
 they are pretty.

00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:17.220
 And my friends

00:41:17.220 --> 00:41:18.340
 were going back

00:41:18.340 --> 00:41:19.300
 to cardboard boxes.

00:41:20.059 --> 00:41:21.599
 And I felt the weight

00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:22.840
 of that gap

00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:24.059
 as I went up

00:41:24.059 --> 00:41:25.160
 to the parking lot.

00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:26.960
 And when I got there,

00:41:27.079 --> 00:41:28.179
 I was so surprised

00:41:28.179 --> 00:41:29.399
 at the reaction I got.

00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:32.319
 My friends

00:41:32.319 --> 00:41:33.879
 were excited for me.

00:41:34.259 --> 00:41:35.219
 They wanted to ask me

00:41:35.219 --> 00:41:35.940
 a ton of questions

00:41:35.940 --> 00:41:36.539
 about cars

00:41:36.539 --> 00:41:37.639
 that I did not know.

00:41:39.099 --> 00:41:40.179
 It is a four-cylinder.

00:41:40.359 --> 00:41:40.639
 It was.

00:41:40.699 --> 00:41:41.539
 I don't have that car anymore.

00:41:42.119 --> 00:41:42.920
 All I knew

00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:43.539
 is it had a great

00:41:43.539 --> 00:41:44.219
 sound system

00:41:44.219 --> 00:41:45.599
 and pretty blue lights

00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:46.379
 on the dashboard.

00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:49.019
 They were thrilled.

00:41:49.399 --> 00:41:50.460
 They loved it.

00:41:50.759 --> 00:41:51.399
 And I learned

00:41:51.399 --> 00:41:52.379
 something that day.

00:41:52.380 --> 00:41:53.360
 And I'm not saying

00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:54.000
 this is okay

00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:54.760
 from a worldview,

00:41:55.039 --> 00:41:55.880
 but from a relational

00:41:55.880 --> 00:41:56.519
 point of view,

00:41:56.720 --> 00:41:57.519
 this was okay.

00:41:58.220 --> 00:41:59.000
 Where I was

00:41:59.000 --> 00:41:59.720
 and where they were

00:41:59.720 --> 00:42:00.400
 relationally,

00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:00.780
 we're fine

00:42:00.780 --> 00:42:01.640
 because we're friends.

00:42:02.200 --> 00:42:03.000
 It was just

00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:03.700
 where we were.

00:42:04.180 --> 00:42:05.260
 And I'm not saying

00:42:05.260 --> 00:42:05.720
 that's okay

00:42:05.720 --> 00:42:06.420
 from a worldview,

00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:08.780
 but I am saying

00:42:08.780 --> 00:42:09.579
 it was okay

00:42:09.579 --> 00:42:10.280
 relationally.

00:42:11.059 --> 00:42:12.180
 So the flip side,

00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:13.180
 that's a high in life.

00:42:13.420 --> 00:42:14.019
 Let me tell you

00:42:14.019 --> 00:42:14.539
 about a low.

00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:16.180
 My cousin

00:42:16.180 --> 00:42:16.980
 committed suicide

00:42:16.980 --> 00:42:18.240
 in 2005.

00:42:18.460 --> 00:42:19.559
 He was 27 years old

00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:20.559
 and it was a shock.

00:42:20.559 --> 00:42:22.360
 Part of my family

00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:23.199
 lives in Colorado.

00:42:23.539 --> 00:42:24.599
 I jumped in the car,

00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:25.659
 drove out to Colorado

00:42:25.659 --> 00:42:26.960
 to deal with,

00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:27.420
 you know,

00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:27.799
 funeral,

00:42:28.119 --> 00:42:29.019
 all that kind of stuff.

00:42:29.900 --> 00:42:31.019
 Missed a couple Sundays

00:42:31.019 --> 00:42:31.820
 and again,

00:42:32.119 --> 00:42:33.179
 what's the key thing?

00:42:33.259 --> 00:42:34.000
 We're consistent.

00:42:34.820 --> 00:42:35.820
 I was fearing

00:42:35.820 --> 00:42:36.460
 that they thought

00:42:36.460 --> 00:42:37.199
 I'd let them.

00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:37.920
 You know,

00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:38.940
 even missing just two

00:42:38.940 --> 00:42:39.579
 because churches

00:42:39.579 --> 00:42:40.380
 kind of just drop.

00:42:41.400 --> 00:42:42.659
 Get back to Atlanta

00:42:42.659 --> 00:42:44.099
 and a dear friend's

00:42:44.099 --> 00:42:44.920
 mom passed away

00:42:44.920 --> 00:42:47.860
 and it was a real

00:42:47.860 --> 00:42:48.940
 hard thing for her

00:42:48.940 --> 00:42:49.639
 because her father

00:42:49.639 --> 00:42:50.300
 had passed away

00:42:50.300 --> 00:42:51.559
 just two months beforehand.

00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:52.840
 So,

00:42:53.380 --> 00:42:54.059
 about to get back

00:42:54.059 --> 00:42:54.480
 in the car

00:42:54.480 --> 00:42:55.159
 to go Mobile,

00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:55.700
 Alabama

00:42:55.700 --> 00:42:56.860
 to help her

00:42:56.860 --> 00:42:57.659
 with this death.

00:42:58.820 --> 00:43:01.139
 I'm really worried

00:43:01.139 --> 00:43:01.760
 at that point

00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:02.380
 because now we're

00:43:02.380 --> 00:43:03.380
 looking at three weeks

00:43:03.380 --> 00:43:04.099
 to a month

00:43:04.099 --> 00:43:05.119
 that I'm not

00:43:05.119 --> 00:43:05.820
 going to be present.

00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:07.159
 And so,

00:43:07.240 --> 00:43:07.679
 I go down

00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:08.539
 to the parking lot

00:43:08.539 --> 00:43:09.539
 where we normally serve,

00:43:09.659 --> 00:43:10.639
 same parking lot

00:43:10.639 --> 00:43:11.119
 that I was just

00:43:11.119 --> 00:43:11.500
 talking about

00:43:11.500 --> 00:43:12.039
 with the car.

00:43:12.760 --> 00:43:13.900
 And it's Sunday morning

00:43:13.900 --> 00:43:14.440
 and normally

00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:15.840
 about 50 to 100 people

00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:16.800
 are in this parking lot.

00:43:17.180 --> 00:43:17.920
 This morning

00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:19.700
 for whatever reason

00:43:19.700 --> 00:43:20.920
 there was one guy

00:43:20.920 --> 00:43:22.380
 in the parking lot

00:43:22.380 --> 00:43:23.240
 and he happened

00:43:23.240 --> 00:43:24.320
 to be the meanest person

00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:25.059
 I've ever met.

00:43:25.660 --> 00:43:26.619
 And I'm from New Jersey

00:43:26.619 --> 00:43:28.460
 so that is truly saying

00:43:28.460 --> 00:43:29.639
 very mean.

00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:30.960
 So,

00:43:31.260 --> 00:43:32.860
 I'm in a raw place

00:43:32.860 --> 00:43:34.500
 and I'm like,

00:43:34.619 --> 00:43:36.099
 do I even go up to him,

00:43:36.360 --> 00:43:36.539
 you know,

00:43:36.599 --> 00:43:37.400
 pull up to him

00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:38.180
 and roll down my window

00:43:38.180 --> 00:43:38.720
 and tell him

00:43:38.720 --> 00:43:39.579
 what's going on?

00:43:39.800 --> 00:43:40.079
 I mean,

00:43:40.139 --> 00:43:41.019
 normally I was met

00:43:41.019 --> 00:43:42.119
 with expletives

00:43:42.119 --> 00:43:43.259
 or expletives,

00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:43.900
 expletives,

00:43:44.059 --> 00:43:44.380
 whatever,

00:43:45.139 --> 00:43:46.880
 whenever I talked to him.

00:43:47.900 --> 00:43:49.079
 And I sucked it up,

00:43:49.219 --> 00:43:50.880
 I pulled up to him,

00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:51.820
 I rolled down my window

00:43:51.820 --> 00:43:52.800
 and I,

00:43:52.940 --> 00:43:53.179
 you know,

00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:54.840
 snot to my toes

00:43:54.840 --> 00:43:56.199
 trying to spit out

00:43:56.199 --> 00:43:56.960
 what had happened,

00:43:57.139 --> 00:43:57.380
 you know,

00:43:57.420 --> 00:43:58.759
 because I was raw in grief.

00:43:59.920 --> 00:44:01.500
 And I blubbered it out,

00:44:01.619 --> 00:44:02.619
 I rolled away,

00:44:03.739 --> 00:44:05.119
 went to Mobile, Alabama,

00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:06.159
 came back,

00:44:07.500 --> 00:44:08.579
 my first week back

00:44:08.579 --> 00:44:09.539
 and he came up to me

00:44:09.539 --> 00:44:09.800
 and he was like,

00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:10.920
 I was praying for you.

00:44:11.780 --> 00:44:12.159
 I'm like,

00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:13.039
 okay,

00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:15.179
 who are you?

00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:18.239
 Realized,

00:44:18.360 --> 00:44:19.059
 and we were never

00:44:19.059 --> 00:44:19.780
 close friends,

00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:20.519
 he was never

00:44:20.519 --> 00:44:21.440
 buddy-buddy with me,

00:44:21.519 --> 00:44:22.420
 he never started,

00:44:22.579 --> 00:44:22.980
 like, you know,

00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:23.900
 laughing and joking

00:44:23.900 --> 00:44:24.599
 all the time.

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:26.059
 But I did realize

00:44:26.059 --> 00:44:26.579
 that there was

00:44:26.579 --> 00:44:27.440
 a small breakthrough

00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:27.960
 with him

00:44:27.960 --> 00:44:29.079
 because I didn't come

00:44:29.079 --> 00:44:29.900
 to him that day

00:44:29.900 --> 00:44:31.539
 with any capacity

00:44:31.539 --> 00:44:32.320
 to save him.

00:44:33.119 --> 00:44:34.280
 I could barely

00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:35.480
 muster up life.

00:44:36.519 --> 00:44:37.539
 I was in the throes

00:44:37.539 --> 00:44:37.980
 of grief,

00:44:38.099 --> 00:44:38.820
 I was raw,

00:44:38.940 --> 00:44:39.739
 I was at a bottom

00:44:39.739 --> 00:44:41.159
 and I was so

00:44:41.159 --> 00:44:41.979
 relatable there.

00:44:44.459 --> 00:44:45.379
 In life,

00:44:46.119 --> 00:44:47.079
 in your communities,

00:44:47.399 --> 00:44:48.199
 including your

00:44:48.199 --> 00:44:49.019
 homeless brothers

00:44:49.019 --> 00:44:49.599
 and sisters,

00:44:50.119 --> 00:44:50.819
 come as you are,

00:44:51.279 --> 00:44:52.199
 the highs and lows.

00:44:54.699 --> 00:44:55.599
 After a time

00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:56.779
 of consistent interaction

00:44:56.779 --> 00:44:57.559
 and conversation,

00:44:57.819 --> 00:44:58.599
 I like to follow up

00:44:58.599 --> 00:44:59.299
 by finding out

00:44:59.299 --> 00:44:59.979
 what talents,

00:45:00.139 --> 00:45:00.719
 what assets

00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:02.019
 people bring to the table.

00:45:02.879 --> 00:45:03.739
 We've gotten to know

00:45:03.739 --> 00:45:04.799
 Tony on Barracks Row.

00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:06.000
 I live near

00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:06.980
 Potomac Abbey Metro,

00:45:07.740 --> 00:45:08.840
 so we walk to Barracks Row

00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:09.380
 all the time.

00:45:09.519 --> 00:45:11.380
 And Tony is a gentleman

00:45:11.380 --> 00:45:12.180
 that's experiencing

00:45:12.180 --> 00:45:12.680
 homelessness.

00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:14.400
 And he's also

00:45:14.400 --> 00:45:16.340
 an amazing caricaturist.

00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:18.120
 So,

00:45:18.460 --> 00:45:20.180
 I try to hire him

00:45:20.180 --> 00:45:20.480
 when I,

00:45:20.539 --> 00:45:20.660
 like,

00:45:20.720 --> 00:45:22.820
 I threw a fall festival

00:45:22.820 --> 00:45:24.100
 on Sunday.

00:45:24.420 --> 00:45:24.840
 It was Sunday.

00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:25.280
 The word's

00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:25.760
 a week's of blur.

00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:26.600
 I think it was one day

00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:27.039
 this weekend.

00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:28.539
 Now,

00:45:28.600 --> 00:45:28.840
 granted,

00:45:29.080 --> 00:45:29.740
 he doesn't have

00:45:29.740 --> 00:45:30.780
 a phone always,

00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:32.240
 so the communication

00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:32.960
 got,

00:45:32.960 --> 00:45:33.840
 he wasn't able

00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:34.659
 to work that day.

00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:35.720
 But I'm trying

00:45:35.720 --> 00:45:36.760
 because he has talent.

00:45:37.019 --> 00:45:37.880
 He has an asset

00:45:37.880 --> 00:45:39.079
 to bring to the community.

00:45:39.740 --> 00:45:41.079
 And I want to call that out.

00:45:41.480 --> 00:45:42.420
 I don't believe

00:45:42.420 --> 00:45:43.780
 in this ridiculous

00:45:43.780 --> 00:45:45.420
 Christian,

00:45:45.539 --> 00:45:45.940
 American,

00:45:47.139 --> 00:45:47.960
 bad theology

00:45:47.960 --> 00:45:49.179
 of fake humility.

00:45:50.280 --> 00:45:50.980
 Chris McDaniel,

00:45:51.099 --> 00:45:51.860
 the pastor in Atlanta

00:45:51.860 --> 00:45:52.800
 who I refer to a lot,

00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:53.960
 he's a dear friend,

00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:55.280
 he says that humility

00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:56.659
 is an honest assessment.

00:45:58.720 --> 00:46:00.099
 And if we walk that out,

00:46:00.220 --> 00:46:01.720
 if we say what we're good at

00:46:01.720 --> 00:46:02.699
 and what we're bad at,

00:46:02.699 --> 00:46:03.679
 then other people

00:46:03.679 --> 00:46:04.739
 feel that confidence,

00:46:04.939 --> 00:46:05.500
 that comfort

00:46:05.500 --> 00:46:06.919
 to say what they're good at.

00:46:07.419 --> 00:46:08.759
 I am really good

00:46:08.759 --> 00:46:10.019
 at throwing large events.

00:46:10.639 --> 00:46:11.439
 I am terrible

00:46:11.439 --> 00:46:12.019
 with grammar

00:46:12.019 --> 00:46:12.819
 and spreadsheets.

00:46:14.099 --> 00:46:14.739
 That's just

00:46:14.739 --> 00:46:15.599
 an honest assessment.

00:46:15.779 --> 00:46:17.199
 I have some good qualities.

00:46:17.399 --> 00:46:17.939
 I am made

00:46:17.939 --> 00:46:18.939
 in the image of God

00:46:18.939 --> 00:46:19.839
 and I am a creature

00:46:19.839 --> 00:46:20.379
 of dignity.

00:46:21.159 --> 00:46:21.859
 I am comfortable

00:46:21.859 --> 00:46:22.699
 in saying that

00:46:22.699 --> 00:46:23.379
 so thus,

00:46:23.579 --> 00:46:24.199
 we could then

00:46:24.199 --> 00:46:26.419
 have the conversation

00:46:26.419 --> 00:46:27.419
 of what you're good at.

00:46:27.699 --> 00:46:29.239
 If you are only saying

00:46:29.239 --> 00:46:30.460
 I am bad at stuff,

00:46:30.799 --> 00:46:31.579
 you are not giving

00:46:31.579 --> 00:46:32.559
 the people around you

00:46:32.559 --> 00:46:33.279
 the comfort zone

00:46:33.279 --> 00:46:34.320
 to also have them

00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:35.299
 say they're good at stuff.

00:46:39.579 --> 00:46:40.299
 Almost done.

00:46:42.059 --> 00:46:43.619
 Beware of the savior complex.

00:46:44.179 --> 00:46:45.400
 You cannot save anyone.

00:46:45.820 --> 00:46:46.579
 You can bring hope

00:46:46.579 --> 00:46:46.980
 and light

00:46:46.980 --> 00:46:47.860
 to spark change.

00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:48.920
 You can be the hands

00:46:48.920 --> 00:46:49.539
 of Jesus,

00:46:50.119 --> 00:46:51.299
 but you are not God.

00:46:52.340 --> 00:46:53.820
 Beware of time expectation.

00:46:54.179 --> 00:46:55.139
 It takes months,

00:46:55.279 --> 00:46:56.000
 if not years,

00:46:56.079 --> 00:46:56.880
 for breakthroughs

00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:57.619
 and life change.

00:46:57.619 --> 00:47:01.420
 With the mentally ill,

00:47:02.059 --> 00:47:03.259
 I just try to make them

00:47:03.259 --> 00:47:03.900
 as comfortable

00:47:03.900 --> 00:47:04.619
 as possible.

00:47:06.159 --> 00:47:07.279
 That is way above

00:47:07.279 --> 00:47:07.980
 my pay grade

00:47:07.980 --> 00:47:09.159
 and probably above

00:47:09.159 --> 00:47:09.900
 most of yours.

00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:11.940
 And the only thing

00:47:11.940 --> 00:47:12.460
 I'm going to say

00:47:12.460 --> 00:47:13.179
 about policy

00:47:13.179 --> 00:47:14.519
 is that we have

00:47:14.519 --> 00:47:15.440
 a mental illness

00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:16.480
 resource crisis

00:47:16.480 --> 00:47:17.179
 in America.

00:47:17.819 --> 00:47:18.699
 I'm going to give you

00:47:18.699 --> 00:47:19.880
 a very personal story

00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:20.279
 of that.

00:47:20.280 --> 00:47:22.800
 I was two weeks

00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:23.400
 shy of 40

00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:24.400
 when I had my son.

00:47:25.700 --> 00:47:27.160
 Around month three,

00:47:27.320 --> 00:47:28.320
 when he was three months old,

00:47:28.420 --> 00:47:30.120
 I started to unravel.

00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:33.280
 A lot of chemical changes

00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:35.240
 happen with pregnancy.

00:47:35.800 --> 00:47:36.880
 I was an older mom,

00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:37.700
 so that may have

00:47:37.700 --> 00:47:38.860
 taken place.

00:47:39.120 --> 00:47:40.400
 I was diagnosed

00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:42.580
 while I was unraveling

00:47:42.580 --> 00:47:44.160
 and went to get

00:47:44.160 --> 00:47:45.780
 psychiatric help.

00:47:45.780 --> 00:47:47.640
 I have insurance.

00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:48.900
 It was a month wait.

00:47:49.340 --> 00:47:49.900
 A month.

00:47:49.980 --> 00:47:50.760
 I was not sleeping

00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:51.220
 or eating.

00:47:52.340 --> 00:47:53.080
 A month,

00:47:53.160 --> 00:47:54.400
 and I am a resource person.

00:47:55.140 --> 00:47:55.880
 I had to go

00:47:55.880 --> 00:47:56.540
 out of pocket

00:47:56.540 --> 00:47:57.280
 to get the help

00:47:57.280 --> 00:47:57.680
 I needed.

00:47:58.380 --> 00:47:59.660
 I am a resource person.

00:48:00.420 --> 00:48:01.260
 In Atlanta,

00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:04.000
 it was a three-month wait.

00:48:04.900 --> 00:48:05.200
 Sorry,

00:48:05.400 --> 00:48:06.280
 three-week wait

00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:07.240
 for an emergency

00:48:07.240 --> 00:48:08.500
 mental health call.

00:48:10.140 --> 00:48:11.060
 Emergency is

00:48:11.060 --> 00:48:11.600
 you are harmed

00:48:11.600 --> 00:48:12.180
 to yourself

00:48:12.180 --> 00:48:13.340
 or another.

00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:14.900
 Three weeks.

00:48:14.900 --> 00:48:17.000
 I don't have

00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:18.240
 the answers for policy.

00:48:18.460 --> 00:48:18.860
 I don't know

00:48:18.860 --> 00:48:19.599
 the funding.

00:48:20.680 --> 00:48:21.220
 I do know

00:48:21.220 --> 00:48:22.059
 we have a crisis.

00:48:25.200 --> 00:48:26.119
 Be smart

00:48:26.119 --> 00:48:27.079
 and use wisdom.

00:48:28.240 --> 00:48:28.900
 Use your gut

00:48:28.900 --> 00:48:29.420
 when it comes

00:48:29.420 --> 00:48:29.960
 to safety

00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:30.700
 and hustling.

00:48:31.099 --> 00:48:31.300
 Sorry,

00:48:31.400 --> 00:48:32.160
 that was a bad segue.

00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:33.300
 I'm back to the list.

00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:36.619
 Do not be led

00:48:36.619 --> 00:48:37.360
 by guilt.

00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:38.860
 Guilt is a terrible,

00:48:38.980 --> 00:48:40.360
 terrible decision maker.

00:48:41.300 --> 00:48:42.380
 If I'm alone,

00:48:42.579 --> 00:48:43.559
 if I feel unsafe,

00:48:43.980 --> 00:48:44.539
 fortunately,

00:48:44.539 --> 00:48:45.900
 I am not the world's savior

00:48:45.900 --> 00:48:48.320
 and God has a lot more

00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:48.900
 in the world

00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:49.619
 other than me.

00:48:50.179 --> 00:48:51.059
 So I just pray

00:48:51.059 --> 00:48:51.940
 that somebody else

00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:52.420
 more equipped

00:48:52.420 --> 00:48:53.619
 can come and help.

00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:56.900
 Protect your car

00:48:56.900 --> 00:48:57.579
 and home base.

00:48:59.219 --> 00:48:59.659
 Again,

00:48:59.759 --> 00:49:00.259
 ask,

00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:01.840
 do I know this person

00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:02.619
 and their story?

00:49:05.699 --> 00:49:06.980
 Know your limits.

00:49:07.980 --> 00:49:09.460
 Self-care is not selfish

00:49:09.460 --> 00:49:11.780
 and you need to be

00:49:11.780 --> 00:49:12.760
 a good steward of you

00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:14.699
 and you have limits.

00:49:15.820 --> 00:49:16.760
 You have limits

00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:17.440
 in time,

00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:18.880
 financial limits,

00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:19.679
 energy,

00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:20.420
 ability.

00:49:21.420 --> 00:49:22.559
 My husband and I

00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:23.720
 have very different limits

00:49:23.720 --> 00:49:24.619
 when it comes to

00:49:24.619 --> 00:49:26.199
 social energy.

00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:28.119
 I guess I'm an extrovert.

00:49:28.240 --> 00:49:28.720
 Maybe I am.

00:49:29.320 --> 00:49:31.420
 I can be with a lot of people

00:49:31.420 --> 00:49:32.159
 for a long time.

00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:33.780
 He has a lower limit.

00:49:33.780 --> 00:49:36.560
 Even we have different limits.

00:49:37.560 --> 00:49:38.480
 Know your limits.

00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:41.620
 Know the difference

00:49:41.620 --> 00:49:43.120
 between nice and kind.

00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:47.040
 The Middle English root word

00:49:47.040 --> 00:49:48.180
 for nice is foolish

00:49:48.180 --> 00:49:48.980
 and stupid.

00:49:50.880 --> 00:49:52.400
 Nice is boundaryless,

00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:53.100
 a pushover.

00:49:53.260 --> 00:49:54.140
 Kind is more genuine

00:49:54.140 --> 00:49:54.980
 and has boundaries.

00:49:55.720 --> 00:49:57.260
 And I'll even be so bold

00:49:57.260 --> 00:49:58.800
 to say Jesus wasn't nice.

00:49:58.800 --> 00:50:00.900
 He wasn't.

00:50:01.420 --> 00:50:02.240
 We make him this

00:50:02.240 --> 00:50:02.980
 American nice

00:50:02.980 --> 00:50:03.980
 and I know I sound like

00:50:03.980 --> 00:50:04.680
 I'm anti-American.

00:50:04.820 --> 00:50:05.280
 I'm not.

00:50:05.420 --> 00:50:06.000
 I'm just saying

00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:06.780
 we have some issues

00:50:06.780 --> 00:50:08.200
 in our perceptions of Jesus.

00:50:10.060 --> 00:50:13.160
 He had lines of need

00:50:13.160 --> 00:50:14.680
 and was like,

00:50:14.780 --> 00:50:15.539
 now I'm going to go

00:50:15.539 --> 00:50:16.220
 over here and rest.

00:50:18.060 --> 00:50:19.900
 My husband's favorite verse

00:50:19.900 --> 00:50:20.480
 in the Bible

00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:21.700
 is where the Pharisees

00:50:21.700 --> 00:50:22.640
 say something stupid

00:50:22.640 --> 00:50:23.620
 and Jesus sighs.

00:50:25.160 --> 00:50:26.860
 My husband relates to that.

00:50:26.860 --> 00:50:29.320
 And I can imagine it

00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:29.559
 just,

00:50:30.500 --> 00:50:34.140
 he overturned tables.

00:50:34.480 --> 00:50:36.079
 I have never in my life

00:50:36.079 --> 00:50:37.760
 overturned a table in anger.

00:50:38.260 --> 00:50:39.660
 I have broken a glass.

00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:41.880
 I've never overturned a table.

00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:43.680
 This Jesus we serve

00:50:43.680 --> 00:50:44.480
 was not nice.

00:50:45.120 --> 00:50:45.920
 Kind, yes.

00:50:46.579 --> 00:50:47.320
 Not nice.

00:50:48.820 --> 00:50:49.960
 Always ask,

00:50:50.340 --> 00:50:51.860
 can this person help themselves?

00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:54.280
 How can I walk alongside?

00:50:54.280 --> 00:50:57.260
 And I'll end with this.

00:50:58.500 --> 00:50:59.720
 Attended a staff meeting

00:50:59.720 --> 00:51:00.220
 at Trinity

00:51:00.220 --> 00:51:02.040
 and Chris McDaniel,

00:51:02.160 --> 00:51:02.519
 the pastor,

00:51:02.680 --> 00:51:04.260
 had a whole meeting

00:51:04.260 --> 00:51:05.720
 based on these three sentences

00:51:05.720 --> 00:51:07.400
 from a Jesuit priest.

00:51:07.660 --> 00:51:09.160
 And we're all over 18 here.

00:51:09.980 --> 00:51:10.800
 Anybody offend

00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:11.900
 if I use the real language?

00:51:12.580 --> 00:51:12.960
 Bring it.

00:51:13.120 --> 00:51:13.519
 All right.

00:51:14.220 --> 00:51:15.220
 These three things

00:51:15.220 --> 00:51:15.900
 are great thoughts

00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:17.200
 to have in the back of your mind.

00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:18.880
 You are not Jesus.

00:51:19.420 --> 00:51:20.460
 This is not heaven.

00:51:20.860 --> 00:51:21.640
 Don't be an ass.

00:51:22.639 --> 00:51:23.900
 You are not Jesus.

00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:26.420
 You cannot save everyone.

00:51:27.039 --> 00:51:28.079
 Find what you can do

00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:28.819
 and do it well.

00:51:29.739 --> 00:51:30.779
 This is not heaven.

00:51:30.900 --> 00:51:32.059
 We're not living with the ideal.

00:51:32.179 --> 00:51:32.699
 We're going to have

00:51:32.699 --> 00:51:33.480
 puppies that die,

00:51:33.619 --> 00:51:34.000
 crime,

00:51:34.739 --> 00:51:36.279
 all the things that go on in life

00:51:36.279 --> 00:51:37.019
 that is just awful.

00:51:37.119 --> 00:51:37.719
 We're going to have it.

00:51:37.779 --> 00:51:38.500
 It's a part of life.

00:51:38.599 --> 00:51:39.259
 It's not heaven.

00:51:39.799 --> 00:51:41.279
 Between the tension of those two,

00:51:41.359 --> 00:51:41.940
 don't be an ass.

00:51:42.940 --> 00:51:43.759
 So that's it.

00:51:45.019 --> 00:51:46.159
 True Jersey fashion,

00:51:46.279 --> 00:51:47.179
 I end with the word ass.

00:51:47.179 --> 00:51:50.279
 Thank you guys

00:51:50.279 --> 00:51:51.199
 for having me.

00:51:54.819 --> 00:51:57.500
 Can we do questions?

00:51:57.699 --> 00:51:57.879
 Yeah.

00:51:57.980 --> 00:51:58.259
 Answers?

00:51:58.519 --> 00:51:58.679
 Yeah.

00:51:58.859 --> 00:51:59.739
 Can I do the first question?

00:51:59.819 --> 00:52:00.259
 Can you tell your

00:52:00.259 --> 00:52:01.319
 Super Bowl party story?

00:52:02.099 --> 00:52:03.339
 Which Super Bowl party is that?

00:52:03.519 --> 00:52:04.179
 Oh, well,

00:52:04.179 --> 00:52:05.099
 tell us about

00:52:05.099 --> 00:52:06.619
 how you started

00:52:06.619 --> 00:52:07.899
 doing a Super Bowl party.

00:52:07.899 --> 00:52:08.379
 Oh, okay.

00:52:09.779 --> 00:52:10.559
 Well, we do

00:52:10.559 --> 00:52:12.159
 throw a Super Bowl party

00:52:12.159 --> 00:52:13.339
 and it is fun.

00:52:14.340 --> 00:52:15.300
 Pretty much

00:52:15.300 --> 00:52:17.140
 there is no serving involved.

00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:18.460
 We do a chili cook-off

00:52:18.460 --> 00:52:19.200
 and it just kind of

00:52:19.200 --> 00:52:20.260
 happened to me

00:52:20.260 --> 00:52:21.220
 because I love sports

00:52:21.220 --> 00:52:21.840
 and I was like,

00:52:21.900 --> 00:52:22.860
 well, where are my friends

00:52:22.860 --> 00:52:24.260
 spending Super Bowl Sunday?

00:52:24.320 --> 00:52:25.160
 It's kind of like a holiday.

00:52:27.660 --> 00:52:28.700
 Got a projector

00:52:28.700 --> 00:52:29.519
 and a screen

00:52:29.519 --> 00:52:30.480
 and this is outside

00:52:30.480 --> 00:52:31.559
 in February now,

00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:32.519
 well, January then.

00:52:32.640 --> 00:52:33.280
 That's a long time ago.

00:52:33.380 --> 00:52:34.019
 February now.

00:52:35.620 --> 00:52:36.680
 Have chili cook-offs.

00:52:36.740 --> 00:52:37.700
 That's how we get food.

00:52:38.480 --> 00:52:39.720
 And you want to talk about

00:52:39.720 --> 00:52:40.960
 just bringing people together

00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:42.120
 over smack talk

00:52:42.119 --> 00:52:43.599
 where it is equalizing.

00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:46.460
 I mean, there's no service.

00:52:46.559 --> 00:52:47.059
 You eat chili

00:52:47.059 --> 00:52:48.539
 and you make fun

00:52:48.539 --> 00:52:49.139
 of the Broncos

00:52:49.139 --> 00:52:50.119
 or whoever's playing

00:52:50.119 --> 00:52:51.960
 or the halftime show.

00:52:52.460 --> 00:52:53.179
 Really funny,

00:52:53.299 --> 00:52:53.980
 the year that

00:52:53.980 --> 00:52:55.400
 Janet Jackson thing happened,

00:52:55.839 --> 00:52:58.380
 the reception wasn't good.

00:52:58.500 --> 00:52:59.579
 So I had no idea

00:52:59.579 --> 00:53:00.480
 any of that had happened

00:53:00.480 --> 00:53:01.179
 until I got home

00:53:01.179 --> 00:53:01.980
 the next day

00:53:01.980 --> 00:53:03.059
 because we just couldn't see

00:53:03.059 --> 00:53:03.639
 very clearly

00:53:03.639 --> 00:53:04.380
 during halftime.

00:53:05.380 --> 00:53:06.420
 Is that kind of

00:53:06.420 --> 00:53:07.859
 just the general?

00:53:08.079 --> 00:53:08.639
 Did I tell you

00:53:08.639 --> 00:53:09.339
 a funny story

00:53:09.339 --> 00:53:10.420
 that I'm just not remembering?

00:53:10.559 --> 00:53:10.799
 No.

00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:11.640
 Okay, good.

00:53:11.940 --> 00:53:13.180
 I want to do that here.

00:53:13.560 --> 00:53:14.640
 It's a little colder up here

00:53:14.640 --> 00:53:15.660
 so I don't know

00:53:15.660 --> 00:53:17.519
 how that,

00:53:17.620 --> 00:53:18.519
 I want to start doing

00:53:18.519 --> 00:53:19.480
 bigger events up here

00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:20.220
 because they're fun.

00:53:21.160 --> 00:53:21.920
 Our health day

00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:22.740
 is a lot of fun.

00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:24.380
 We have dance-offs

00:53:24.380 --> 00:53:25.539
 at everything we do

00:53:25.539 --> 00:53:27.720
 because that's fun.

00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:30.560
 I think fun is a need.

00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:31.180
 I mean,

00:53:31.220 --> 00:53:31.940
 it is a part

00:53:31.940 --> 00:53:33.160
 of what we need

00:53:33.160 --> 00:53:33.820
 to live

00:53:33.820 --> 00:53:36.960
 to feel truly alive.

00:53:37.080 --> 00:53:37.980
 So I look at fun

00:53:37.980 --> 00:53:38.380
 as something

00:53:38.380 --> 00:53:39.420
 that is a desperate need.

00:53:40.300 --> 00:53:41.400
 Even for busy

00:53:41.400 --> 00:53:42.539
 up-and-comers

00:53:42.539 --> 00:53:43.380
 DC people,

00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:45.320
 fun is a need.

00:53:47.579 --> 00:53:47.980
 Great.

00:53:48.240 --> 00:53:48.420
 Okay.

00:53:48.760 --> 00:53:49.119
 Thanks.

00:53:49.199 --> 00:53:49.659
 Yeah, so,

00:53:50.980 --> 00:53:51.240
 so,

00:53:52.179 --> 00:53:54.659
 I was curious

00:53:54.659 --> 00:53:55.760
 how you connected

00:53:55.760 --> 00:53:56.740
 with other organizations

00:53:56.740 --> 00:53:57.460
 here such as

00:53:57.460 --> 00:53:58.019
 the pathways

00:53:58.019 --> 00:53:58.740
 to housing

00:53:58.740 --> 00:54:00.920
 and other organizations.

00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:01.460
 I do.

00:54:01.579 --> 00:54:01.980
 I attended

00:54:01.980 --> 00:54:02.599
 the breakfast

00:54:02.599 --> 00:54:03.139
 this morning.

00:54:03.619 --> 00:54:04.300
 Were you there?

00:54:04.519 --> 00:54:05.119
 Yeah, I was there too.

00:54:05.119 --> 00:54:06.380
 Did you see a woman

00:54:06.380 --> 00:54:07.000
 running around

00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:07.819
 after a two-year-old?

00:54:09.279 --> 00:54:10.059
 I was stuck

00:54:10.059 --> 00:54:10.480
 in the corner.

00:54:10.639 --> 00:54:11.679
 Okay, that was me.

00:54:12.359 --> 00:54:13.119
 My two-year-old

00:54:13.119 --> 00:54:14.099
 was amazing.

00:54:14.219 --> 00:54:14.980
 I mean, he's two.

00:54:15.460 --> 00:54:16.279
 Very quiet,

00:54:16.519 --> 00:54:17.599
 but he has to wiggle

00:54:17.599 --> 00:54:18.420
 at some point.

00:54:18.460 --> 00:54:18.839
 He's two.

00:54:19.279 --> 00:54:20.139
 And I'm taking him

00:54:20.139 --> 00:54:21.900
 to these breakfasts

00:54:21.900 --> 00:54:22.359
 and dinners

00:54:22.359 --> 00:54:23.019
 and, yeah,

00:54:23.079 --> 00:54:23.880
 all that kind of stuff.

00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:25.400
 I am the main caretaker

00:54:25.400 --> 00:54:26.000
 for my son,

00:54:26.119 --> 00:54:26.880
 so it's a juggling.

00:54:28.219 --> 00:54:28.359
 Yeah.

00:54:29.359 --> 00:54:30.400
 To answer your question,

00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:31.039
 because that wasn't

00:54:31.039 --> 00:54:31.659
 the answer.

00:54:32.579 --> 00:54:33.319
 Up here,

00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:34.820
 we actually were up here

00:54:34.820 --> 00:54:36.180
 before I moved up here.

00:54:36.940 --> 00:54:37.780
 We had a leader

00:54:37.780 --> 00:54:38.220
 who was,

00:54:38.519 --> 00:54:40.600
 he was leading in Atlanta

00:54:40.600 --> 00:54:41.940
 with the job prep section.

00:54:42.539 --> 00:54:43.880
 He wanted to do that up here,

00:54:44.019 --> 00:54:45.240
 so we made contact

00:54:45.240 --> 00:54:46.340
 with Central Union Mission,

00:54:46.840 --> 00:54:47.900
 and so we've been doing

00:54:47.900 --> 00:54:48.580
 job prep there

00:54:48.580 --> 00:54:50.000
 for four and a half years,

00:54:50.920 --> 00:54:52.539
 and then slowly getting

00:54:52.539 --> 00:54:53.460
 to know people

00:54:53.460 --> 00:54:54.780
 like Pathways to Housing.

00:54:55.700 --> 00:54:57.100
 I know Adam there

00:54:57.100 --> 00:54:58.440
 through teaching this class

00:54:58.440 --> 00:54:59.160
 somewhere else.

00:55:00.100 --> 00:55:00.559
 So, yeah,

00:55:00.559 --> 00:55:01.660
 we're slowly getting

00:55:01.659 --> 00:55:04.239
 our, I don't know,

00:55:04.539 --> 00:55:05.759
 our connections here.

00:55:05.859 --> 00:55:06.339
 In Atlanta,

00:55:06.440 --> 00:55:07.059
 because we've been there

00:55:07.059 --> 00:55:07.460
 so long,

00:55:07.619 --> 00:55:09.000
 the relationships

00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:09.539
 with programs

00:55:09.539 --> 00:55:10.219
 are very deep,

00:55:10.899 --> 00:55:12.359
 but here we're slowly starting.

00:55:15.279 --> 00:55:16.639
 Any other questions?

00:55:16.779 --> 00:55:16.960
 Yes.

00:55:17.059 --> 00:55:18.500
 What's your regular rhythm here?

00:55:18.699 --> 00:55:19.539
 What are you?

00:55:19.759 --> 00:55:20.719
 Right now,

00:55:20.899 --> 00:55:22.480
 we do job prep

00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:24.440
 on the first Saturday

00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:25.259
 of every month

00:55:25.259 --> 00:55:26.579
 in multiple places,

00:55:26.579 --> 00:55:28.599
 and I teach interviewing

00:55:28.599 --> 00:55:29.659
 whenever I can.

00:55:29.739 --> 00:55:30.960
 There's no regular rhythm,

00:55:31.619 --> 00:55:32.559
 and I teach

00:55:32.559 --> 00:55:33.420
 any kind of job prep

00:55:33.420 --> 00:55:34.559
 at Central Union Mission

00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:35.319
 when I can

00:55:35.319 --> 00:55:36.259
 with my son,

00:55:36.539 --> 00:55:38.139
 and then I also

00:55:38.139 --> 00:55:40.239
 teach this a lot,

00:55:40.840 --> 00:55:42.039
 but for serving,

00:55:42.259 --> 00:55:42.860
 right now,

00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:43.719
 it's the first Saturday

00:55:43.719 --> 00:55:44.539
 of every month.

00:55:44.619 --> 00:55:45.639
 I would like to do more.

00:55:46.400 --> 00:55:47.139
 Catholic Charities

00:55:47.139 --> 00:55:47.880
 reached out.

00:55:48.699 --> 00:55:49.559
 They want to do

00:55:49.559 --> 00:55:50.360
 an art project

00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:51.519
 to make their shelters

00:55:51.519 --> 00:55:52.299
 more homey.

00:55:53.039 --> 00:55:53.779
 That's something

00:55:53.779 --> 00:55:54.699
 I'm looking into.

00:55:54.699 --> 00:55:56.819
 We decided to stay

00:55:56.819 --> 00:55:57.719
 here a year ago,

00:55:58.259 --> 00:55:59.099
 and in that year

00:55:59.099 --> 00:55:59.839
 is when we started

00:55:59.839 --> 00:56:00.579
 to really dig

00:56:00.579 --> 00:56:01.519
 because I didn't want

00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:03.500
 to get really plugged in

00:56:03.500 --> 00:56:04.679
 in the uprooted

00:56:04.679 --> 00:56:06.319
 because long-term consistency,

00:56:06.839 --> 00:56:07.779
 I can't say that,

00:56:07.939 --> 00:56:10.059
 consistency is important.

00:56:11.579 --> 00:56:13.199
 So right now,

00:56:13.539 --> 00:56:14.199
 that's it,

00:56:14.559 --> 00:56:16.839
 but I can always let

00:56:16.839 --> 00:56:17.659
 everybody know

00:56:17.659 --> 00:56:19.000
 what service opportunities

00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:19.779
 are there.

00:56:21.739 --> 00:56:23.059
 And one's actually close.

00:56:23.679 --> 00:56:24.519
 We won't be serving

00:56:24.519 --> 00:56:25.420
 this month,

00:56:25.500 --> 00:56:26.300
 but December

00:56:26.300 --> 00:56:28.380
 at a food pantry

00:56:28.380 --> 00:56:29.480
 not far from here

00:56:29.480 --> 00:56:31.179
 on Columbia Ave.

00:56:33.739 --> 00:56:34.619
 Well, it's now

00:56:34.619 --> 00:56:35.460
 the Table Church

00:56:35.460 --> 00:56:35.980
 is building.

00:56:36.900 --> 00:56:37.900
 On the corner,

00:56:38.739 --> 00:56:39.460
 their food pantry,

00:56:39.599 --> 00:56:40.159
 we've been doing,

00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:41.259
 and we really need

00:56:41.259 --> 00:56:42.219
 Spanish speakers

00:56:42.219 --> 00:56:43.739
 if you know of anybody.

00:56:44.380 --> 00:56:45.360
 And that's fairly close.

00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:45.920
 Are most of you

00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:46.699
 Northwesters?

00:56:47.699 --> 00:56:48.179
 I figured.

00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:48.659
 I mean,

00:56:48.800 --> 00:56:49.380
 it makes sense.

00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:51.199
 Okay.

00:56:51.539 --> 00:56:51.880
 Yes.

00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:54.200
 Do you have churches

00:56:54.200 --> 00:56:56.320
 that do their own thing

00:56:56.320 --> 00:56:57.340
 or do they coordinate

00:56:57.340 --> 00:56:58.680
 with Lazarus

00:56:58.680 --> 00:57:00.140
 or do they kind of say,

00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:01.140
 we'll pick this model

00:57:01.140 --> 00:57:02.220
 and do something

00:57:02.220 --> 00:57:03.460
 similar on our own?

00:57:03.640 --> 00:57:03.920
 Both.

00:57:04.539 --> 00:57:04.740
 Yeah.

00:57:04.739 --> 00:57:06.759
 And all is well.

00:57:06.759 --> 00:57:07.500
 I mean,

00:57:07.599 --> 00:57:08.779
 more people serving

00:57:08.779 --> 00:57:09.319
 is great.

00:57:09.879 --> 00:57:10.839
 I just try to make sure

00:57:10.839 --> 00:57:11.759
 they're serving well

00:57:11.759 --> 00:57:14.819
 and treating our friends

00:57:14.819 --> 00:57:15.419
 with dignity.

00:57:15.859 --> 00:57:16.159
 But yeah,

00:57:16.299 --> 00:57:17.679
 some people do their own thing.

00:57:17.799 --> 00:57:19.079
 Some people are part of Lazarus.

00:57:19.279 --> 00:57:19.479
 I mean,

00:57:19.539 --> 00:57:20.219
 we're only mainly

00:57:20.219 --> 00:57:21.039
 in these two cities,

00:57:21.239 --> 00:57:22.059
 so anything outside

00:57:22.059 --> 00:57:22.899
 of those two cities

00:57:22.899 --> 00:57:23.699
 is definitely doing

00:57:23.699 --> 00:57:24.259
 your own thing.

00:57:25.719 --> 00:57:26.199
 Yes.

00:57:26.199 --> 00:57:28.379
 So you spoke briefly

00:57:28.379 --> 00:57:29.480
 about getting

00:57:29.480 --> 00:57:30.939
 Chris McAnless' involvement

00:57:30.939 --> 00:57:31.939
 with the pastor of Trinity.

00:57:32.500 --> 00:57:32.799
 Mm-hmm.

00:57:33.419 --> 00:57:35.480
 Was it selling him

00:57:35.480 --> 00:57:37.199
 on the idea

00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:37.960
 that brought

00:57:37.960 --> 00:57:39.199
 the backing

00:57:39.199 --> 00:57:39.939
 of Trinity?

00:57:40.079 --> 00:57:40.179
 Like,

00:57:40.219 --> 00:57:41.259
 how did you get Trinity?

00:57:41.299 --> 00:57:42.899
 He just saw

00:57:42.899 --> 00:57:43.779
 what we were doing

00:57:43.779 --> 00:57:44.599
 and was like,

00:57:44.639 --> 00:57:44.719
 well,

00:57:44.719 --> 00:57:45.179
 that's cool.

00:57:45.259 --> 00:57:45.839
 Let's do it.

00:57:46.599 --> 00:57:47.339
 But was that

00:57:47.339 --> 00:57:47.779
 the like

00:57:47.779 --> 00:57:48.960
 seminal turning point

00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:49.519
 of getting

00:57:49.519 --> 00:57:50.379
 all of Trinity

00:57:50.379 --> 00:57:51.079
 behind you?

00:57:51.480 --> 00:57:51.839
 I mean,

00:57:51.859 --> 00:57:52.099
 yeah,

00:57:52.159 --> 00:57:53.500
 it was so little then.

00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:54.239
 I mean,

00:57:54.239 --> 00:57:54.899
 this is back

00:57:54.899 --> 00:57:55.980
 when it was VSN.

00:57:56.199 --> 00:57:58.859
 he actually

00:57:58.859 --> 00:57:59.539
 went to Trinity.

00:57:59.859 --> 00:58:00.359
 I don't know

00:58:00.359 --> 00:58:01.719
 who knows your story.

00:58:02.179 --> 00:58:04.079
 So we may have interacted

00:58:04.079 --> 00:58:04.579
 because I went

00:58:04.579 --> 00:58:05.379
 to that small group

00:58:05.379 --> 00:58:06.159
 a few times.

00:58:07.219 --> 00:58:07.699
 Anyway,

00:58:08.339 --> 00:58:10.239
 it was a small thing then

00:58:10.239 --> 00:58:11.460
 and just grew

00:58:11.460 --> 00:58:13.119
 kind of with Trinity.

00:58:13.500 --> 00:58:13.679
 I mean,

00:58:13.779 --> 00:58:14.099
 it was,

00:58:14.299 --> 00:58:15.159
 Lazarus has been around

00:58:15.159 --> 00:58:16.079
 longer than Trinity

00:58:16.079 --> 00:58:17.039
 in a lot of ways.

00:58:17.759 --> 00:58:18.919
 So we were already

00:58:18.919 --> 00:58:19.839
 an established thing

00:58:19.839 --> 00:58:20.460
 when it became

00:58:20.460 --> 00:58:21.259
 its own church

00:58:21.259 --> 00:58:22.599
 and then grew

00:58:22.599 --> 00:58:23.460
 along with Trinity.

00:58:23.460 --> 00:58:24.039
 So it was just

00:58:24.039 --> 00:58:25.219
 a natural relationship.

00:58:26.199 --> 00:58:27.439
 Does that answer?

00:58:27.980 --> 00:58:29.119
 I've got more questions.

00:58:29.539 --> 00:58:29.759
 Oh,

00:58:29.799 --> 00:58:30.439
 you've got more questions.

00:58:30.659 --> 00:58:30.799
 Okay.

00:58:32.199 --> 00:58:33.039
 Was it important

00:58:33.039 --> 00:58:33.719
 to have Trinity

00:58:33.719 --> 00:58:35.139
 kind of as a backer?

00:58:35.339 --> 00:58:35.599
 Yes.

00:58:35.699 --> 00:58:35.919
 Or,

00:58:36.299 --> 00:58:36.699
 so yeah.

00:58:36.980 --> 00:58:37.279
 Yes.

00:58:37.500 --> 00:58:38.219
 That brought,

00:58:38.919 --> 00:58:41.019
 yeah,

00:58:41.179 --> 00:58:42.460
 it just created,

00:58:43.799 --> 00:58:44.159
 they offered

00:58:44.159 --> 00:58:45.719
 office space,

00:58:45.919 --> 00:58:46.879
 spiritual guidance.

00:58:46.880 --> 00:58:47.579
 I mean,

00:58:48.660 --> 00:58:50.960
 so much volunteer funding,

00:58:51.599 --> 00:58:51.900
 everything,

00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:53.360
 a lot to get us

00:58:53.360 --> 00:58:54.400
 bigger

00:58:54.400 --> 00:58:56.079
 and moving past

00:58:56.079 --> 00:58:59.220
 being a church ministry

00:58:59.220 --> 00:59:00.579
 to a 501c3.

00:59:00.940 --> 00:59:01.220
 I mean,

00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:02.619
 we became a 501c3

00:59:02.619 --> 00:59:03.579
 in 2008,

00:59:03.680 --> 00:59:04.460
 so we've been serving

00:59:04.460 --> 00:59:05.320
 eight years already

00:59:05.320 --> 00:59:07.840
 and we got our 501c3 status

00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:08.940
 in three weeks,

00:59:09.260 --> 00:59:11.420
 which is near miracle.

00:59:11.420 --> 00:59:13.519
 Have anybody

00:59:13.519 --> 00:59:15.360
 tried that process,

00:59:15.720 --> 00:59:16.059
 getting near

00:59:16.059 --> 00:59:16.880
 the 501c3?

00:59:17.380 --> 00:59:19.039
 It's a difficult,

00:59:19.220 --> 00:59:20.340
 difficult process.

00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:21.659
 Three weeks,

00:59:21.740 --> 00:59:21.980
 though,

00:59:22.380 --> 00:59:23.200
 because we had a rider.

00:59:25.200 --> 00:59:25.579
 Yeah.

00:59:25.980 --> 00:59:26.619
 They just,

00:59:26.780 --> 00:59:26.940
 yeah,

00:59:27.639 --> 00:59:28.559
 their partnership

00:59:28.559 --> 00:59:29.960
 in this was vital

00:59:29.960 --> 00:59:31.659
 for our success.

00:59:31.659 --> 00:59:34.199
 more you can say

00:59:34.199 --> 00:59:35.980
 about like an ebb and flow

00:59:35.980 --> 00:59:37.000
 was a point where

00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:38.500
 it felt like

00:59:38.500 --> 00:59:40.299
 there was

00:59:40.299 --> 00:59:42.019
 a bit of,

00:59:43.339 --> 00:59:44.019
 lack of a better term,

00:59:44.079 --> 00:59:44.559
 exhaustion,

00:59:44.899 --> 00:59:46.099
 like maybe the church

00:59:46.099 --> 00:59:47.099
 didn't feel like

00:59:47.099 --> 00:59:48.139
 it was producing

00:59:48.139 --> 00:59:49.279
 the fruit that

00:59:49.279 --> 00:59:50.859
 it wanted to see

00:59:50.859 --> 00:59:51.599
 and you didn't feel

00:59:51.599 --> 00:59:52.599
 the same kind of support

00:59:52.599 --> 00:59:53.159
 or was,

00:59:53.339 --> 00:59:54.519
 was there an ebb and flow?

00:59:54.980 --> 00:59:55.539
 Like what did,

00:59:55.679 --> 00:59:56.879
 and then if there was,

00:59:56.940 --> 00:59:57.699
 how did you manage it?

00:59:58.079 --> 00:59:59.179
 I don't think there was

00:59:59.179 --> 01:00:00.239
 an ebb and flow.

01:00:00.500 --> 01:00:01.399
 I think we've been

01:00:01.400 --> 01:00:02.119
 like-minded

01:00:02.119 --> 01:00:04.400
 for 16 years now.

01:00:04.539 --> 01:00:04.720
 I mean,

01:00:04.740 --> 01:00:05.300
 we still have

01:00:05.300 --> 01:00:06.280
 office space there

01:00:06.280 --> 01:00:08.039
 and feel tremendous

01:00:08.039 --> 01:00:09.059
 support from Trinity.

01:00:11.519 --> 01:00:12.000
 No,

01:00:12.240 --> 01:00:13.200
 they're a good church.

01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:14.619
 Chris McDaniel,

01:00:14.980 --> 01:00:17.180
 I have huge respect for

01:00:17.180 --> 01:00:18.539
 so much.

01:00:18.599 --> 01:00:19.519
 He's the godfather

01:00:19.519 --> 01:00:20.200
 of my son.

01:00:21.059 --> 01:00:21.360
 It's not,

01:00:21.480 --> 01:00:22.280
 I'm not Catholic.

01:00:22.539 --> 01:00:23.300
 I'm New Jersey.

01:00:24.180 --> 01:00:24.300
 So,

01:00:24.559 --> 01:00:24.980
 that's okay.

01:00:26.860 --> 01:00:28.260
 No horse's head

01:00:28.260 --> 01:00:28.920
 or anything like that.

01:00:29.880 --> 01:00:30.360
 Sorry.

01:00:31.079 --> 01:00:32.039
 You have a granddad.

01:00:32.160 --> 01:00:33.039
 I just wanted to

01:00:33.039 --> 01:00:33.579
 pay you back

01:00:33.579 --> 01:00:34.280
 off this question.

01:00:34.460 --> 01:00:35.160
 Is that something,

01:00:36.039 --> 01:00:36.280
 I mean,

01:00:36.300 --> 01:00:36.960
 are you looking

01:00:36.960 --> 01:00:37.780
 for like church

01:00:37.780 --> 01:00:38.800
 partnerships up here

01:00:38.800 --> 01:00:39.120
 or not?

01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:39.480
 Yeah,

01:00:39.620 --> 01:00:39.900
 I mean,

01:00:39.960 --> 01:00:41.039
 we have a really

01:00:41.039 --> 01:00:42.000
 strong partnership

01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:43.680
 that just is natural

01:00:43.680 --> 01:00:44.320
 because I go to

01:00:44.320 --> 01:00:45.059
 the table church.

01:00:45.740 --> 01:00:46.000
 So,

01:00:46.079 --> 01:00:46.640
 the table church

01:00:46.640 --> 01:00:47.720
 is a huge

01:00:47.720 --> 01:00:49.460
 support to me

01:00:49.460 --> 01:00:51.460
 in whatever capacity

01:00:51.460 --> 01:00:52.340
 we're trying to do now.

01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:53.180
 My life looks different

01:00:53.180 --> 01:00:53.940
 now as a mom,

01:00:53.940 --> 01:00:55.220
 so I'm not building

01:00:55.220 --> 01:00:56.380
 as much as I did

01:00:56.380 --> 01:00:56.880
 in Atlanta

01:00:56.880 --> 01:00:57.740
 but that doesn't

01:00:57.740 --> 01:00:59.139
 mean we can't.

01:01:01.159 --> 01:01:01.599
 But,

01:01:01.720 --> 01:01:01.840
 yeah,

01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:02.860
 the church is very

01:01:02.860 --> 01:01:04.340
 important for these

01:01:04.340 --> 01:01:05.019
 type of things.

01:01:05.860 --> 01:01:06.659
 Very important.

01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:08.840
 Did that answer?

01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:09.659
 Yeah,

01:01:09.740 --> 01:01:10.240
 I was just curious.

01:01:10.619 --> 01:01:10.760
 Yeah.

01:01:11.039 --> 01:01:11.539
 I just didn't know

01:01:11.539 --> 01:01:12.019
 how much like,

01:01:12.700 --> 01:01:13.619
 I guess it sounds like

01:01:13.619 --> 01:01:14.420
 you're still

01:01:14.420 --> 01:01:16.639
 hashing out your vision.

01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:17.079
 Here,

01:01:17.320 --> 01:01:17.519
 yeah.

01:01:17.619 --> 01:01:18.579
 Or what here looks like.

01:01:18.579 --> 01:01:19.319
 I mean,

01:01:19.360 --> 01:01:20.079
 right now we pretty

01:01:20.079 --> 01:01:21.039
 much do job prep.

01:01:21.219 --> 01:01:22.059
 That doesn't mean

01:01:22.059 --> 01:01:23.019
 we won't do more

01:01:23.019 --> 01:01:23.819
 and honestly,

01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:24.699
 weekly ministry

01:01:24.699 --> 01:01:27.519
 is the real heart

01:01:27.519 --> 01:01:28.259
 of what we do.

01:01:28.799 --> 01:01:29.759
 I just haven't

01:01:29.759 --> 01:01:30.579
 gotten into a good

01:01:30.579 --> 01:01:31.119
 rhythm there

01:01:31.119 --> 01:01:32.460
 yet.

01:01:32.840 --> 01:01:33.139
 Yeah,

01:01:33.219 --> 01:01:33.559
 I mean,

01:01:33.699 --> 01:01:34.840
 it's like a little

01:01:34.840 --> 01:01:35.679
 different because

01:01:35.679 --> 01:01:36.279
 of the weather,

01:01:36.639 --> 01:01:36.860
 right?

01:01:37.219 --> 01:01:37.699
 Yeah,

01:01:37.980 --> 01:01:38.819
 though I've never

01:01:38.819 --> 01:01:39.159
 been,

01:01:39.299 --> 01:01:40.539
 I don't mind

01:01:40.539 --> 01:01:40.920
 weather.

01:01:42.179 --> 01:01:42.440
 Yeah,

01:01:42.500 --> 01:01:42.739
 I know,

01:01:42.840 --> 01:01:43.699
 but like Atlanta,

01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:45.539
 Atlanta is different.

01:01:45.880 --> 01:01:46.019
 Yeah,

01:01:46.259 --> 01:01:46.500
 I mean,

01:01:46.559 --> 01:01:47.199
 it's hotlanta.

01:01:47.199 --> 01:01:49.000
 Our last Super Bowl

01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:50.299
 party was 70 degrees.

01:01:50.539 --> 01:01:50.779
 Yeah.

01:01:50.980 --> 01:01:52.019
 We had King of Pops.

01:01:52.119 --> 01:01:52.859
 If we don't know

01:01:52.859 --> 01:01:53.659
 what King of Pops are,

01:01:53.779 --> 01:01:54.239
 find out.

01:01:54.299 --> 01:01:55.099
 Live at Rockland's Park.

01:01:56.419 --> 01:01:57.039
 What's that?

01:01:57.839 --> 01:01:59.059
 Can we kill the truck?

01:02:00.059 --> 01:02:00.739
 What happened?

01:02:01.139 --> 01:02:01.599
 I'm just kidding.

01:02:03.179 --> 01:02:03.579
 Yeah,

01:02:03.719 --> 01:02:03.960
 I mean,

01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:05.079
 weather can be a deterrent

01:02:05.079 --> 01:02:06.319
 and also I'll probably

01:02:06.319 --> 01:02:07.199
 start in Southeast

01:02:07.199 --> 01:02:08.019
 if I do

01:02:08.019 --> 01:02:09.879
 because I'm really

01:02:09.879 --> 01:02:10.659
 trying to build

01:02:10.659 --> 01:02:11.179
 in the neighborhood

01:02:11.179 --> 01:02:11.659
 I'm in.

01:02:11.960 --> 01:02:12.779
 The sunnier it is,

01:02:12.879 --> 01:02:13.719
 the less likely you are

01:02:13.719 --> 01:02:14.439
 to have people come.

01:02:14.619 --> 01:02:15.619
 It's here.

01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:16.519
 The sunnier.

01:02:16.739 --> 01:02:16.899
 Yeah.

01:02:17.199 --> 01:02:18.599
 Yeah,

01:02:18.739 --> 01:02:19.299
 because I don't

01:02:19.299 --> 01:02:20.299
 have people

01:02:20.299 --> 01:02:20.980
 who would be

01:02:20.980 --> 01:02:21.939
 elsewhere.

01:02:22.739 --> 01:02:23.119
 Okay,

01:02:23.199 --> 01:02:23.299
 wait,

01:02:23.379 --> 01:02:24.299
 I had up here

01:02:24.299 --> 01:02:24.819
 and then I'll get,

01:02:25.379 --> 01:02:25.719
 yes.

01:02:26.419 --> 01:02:27.859
 So I'm not a sports fan

01:02:27.859 --> 01:02:28.639
 so that's kind of

01:02:28.639 --> 01:02:29.159
 not something

01:02:29.159 --> 01:02:29.980
 that I can connect

01:02:29.980 --> 01:02:30.799
 with people on.

01:02:31.299 --> 01:02:32.359
 I thought it was helpful

01:02:32.359 --> 01:02:33.339
 that you suggested

01:02:33.339 --> 01:02:33.960
 asking people

01:02:33.960 --> 01:02:34.679
 where they're from.

01:02:35.039 --> 01:02:35.719
 Do you have any other

01:02:35.719 --> 01:02:36.799
 questions that you,

01:02:37.259 --> 01:02:38.179
 just like icebreaker

01:02:38.179 --> 01:02:38.980
 and getting to know

01:02:38.980 --> 01:02:39.359
 any questions

01:02:39.359 --> 01:02:40.339
 that you kind of

01:02:40.339 --> 01:02:41.099
 keep top of mind?

01:02:41.139 --> 01:02:41.519
 I don't know,

01:02:41.579 --> 01:02:42.299
 I build on that

01:02:42.299 --> 01:02:43.000
 quite a bit.

01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:45.820
 And I,

01:02:46.019 --> 01:02:46.639
 my fallback

01:02:46.639 --> 01:02:47.099
 is usually

01:02:47.099 --> 01:02:48.000
 what sports team,

01:02:48.099 --> 01:02:48.719
 if I find out

01:02:48.719 --> 01:02:49.320
 where you're from,

01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:49.699
 oh,

01:02:49.780 --> 01:02:50.619
 you're from Chicago,

01:02:51.019 --> 01:02:52.320
 good week for the Cubs,

01:02:52.420 --> 01:02:53.260
 sorry about last night,

01:02:53.380 --> 01:02:53.619
 you know,

01:02:53.679 --> 01:02:55.340
 just that kind of stuff.

01:02:55.340 --> 01:02:58.840
 I mean,

01:02:58.880 --> 01:02:59.640
 if you know

01:02:59.640 --> 01:03:00.900
 of the different,

01:03:00.980 --> 01:03:01.480
 like I'm thinking

01:03:01.480 --> 01:03:02.680
 like if I know

01:03:02.680 --> 01:03:03.460
 my best friend's

01:03:03.460 --> 01:03:04.000
 from Michigan,

01:03:04.140 --> 01:03:05.280
 if I was meeting her,

01:03:05.539 --> 01:03:05.760
 oh,

01:03:06.200 --> 01:03:07.860
 Terry's in the spring

01:03:07.860 --> 01:03:09.300
 or summer,

01:03:09.460 --> 01:03:09.700
 awesome,

01:03:09.800 --> 01:03:10.140
 I don't know,

01:03:10.220 --> 01:03:11.140
 whatever culturally

01:03:11.140 --> 01:03:12.539
 is from that area,

01:03:12.640 --> 01:03:13.539
 you could build on that.

01:03:15.079 --> 01:03:15.880
 And that's just

01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:17.200
 my natural inclination

01:03:17.200 --> 01:03:18.019
 is to go to sports

01:03:18.019 --> 01:03:18.760
 because it's something

01:03:18.760 --> 01:03:19.320
 I enjoy.

01:03:19.700 --> 01:03:21.140
 But there's so many things

01:03:21.140 --> 01:03:21.340
 to,

01:03:22.340 --> 01:03:22.800
 what do you,

01:03:23.480 --> 01:03:24.400
 what did you do

01:03:24.400 --> 01:03:25.660
 growing up for fun?

01:03:25.800 --> 01:03:26.139
 I don't know.

01:03:26.260 --> 01:03:26.599
 I mean,

01:03:26.619 --> 01:03:27.059
 there's so many

01:03:27.059 --> 01:03:27.599
 different things

01:03:27.599 --> 01:03:28.099
 you can do.

01:03:29.519 --> 01:03:30.700
 I still like to base it

01:03:30.700 --> 01:03:31.260
 on that question.

01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:32.280
 I seriously have used

01:03:32.280 --> 01:03:33.119
 that at dinner parties

01:03:33.119 --> 01:03:34.160
 because I was sitting

01:03:34.160 --> 01:03:34.639
 there like,

01:03:34.760 --> 01:03:35.059
 oh,

01:03:35.300 --> 01:03:35.559
 I wonder,

01:03:35.760 --> 01:03:36.200
 are they going

01:03:36.200 --> 01:03:36.720
 to ever talk?

01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:38.280
 Yeah.

01:03:39.000 --> 01:03:40.300
 So I had back there.

01:03:42.599 --> 01:03:43.940
 My question was,

01:03:44.380 --> 01:03:44.820
 you,

01:03:45.619 --> 01:03:46.420
 in the beginning,

01:03:47.420 --> 01:03:47.800
 so like,

01:03:48.039 --> 01:03:48.920
 in terms of engaging,

01:03:49.200 --> 01:03:49.400
 right,

01:03:49.400 --> 01:03:49.700
 like,

01:03:49.840 --> 01:03:50.400
 at the end

01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:51.760
 of that conversation,

01:03:52.039 --> 01:03:52.400
 or like,

01:03:53.039 --> 01:03:54.000
 you've got to go,

01:03:54.139 --> 01:03:54.260
 or,

01:03:54.400 --> 01:03:55.079
 for you,

01:03:55.660 --> 01:03:56.000
 how,

01:03:57.160 --> 01:03:58.000
 in the beginning,

01:03:58.320 --> 01:03:58.639
 I mean,

01:03:59.139 --> 01:04:00.099
 do you feel like

01:04:00.099 --> 01:04:00.500
 it's,

01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:01.200
 do you,

01:04:01.340 --> 01:04:02.059
 do you have,

01:04:02.160 --> 01:04:02.880
 should you have

01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:04.340
 like a list of places

01:04:04.340 --> 01:04:05.900
 people can go?

01:04:06.559 --> 01:04:07.000
 Yes,

01:04:07.039 --> 01:04:07.920
 and we are working

01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:08.980
 on that for DC.

01:04:09.400 --> 01:04:10.360
 I'm sad I didn't have

01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:11.260
 them by the class,

01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:13.160
 but I can get that.

01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:14.119
 Little cards that you

01:04:14.119 --> 01:04:14.920
 keep in your wallet

01:04:14.920 --> 01:04:15.820
 that have like,

01:04:15.880 --> 01:04:16.960
 the just bullet points.

01:04:17.420 --> 01:04:18.900
 And you should always

01:04:18.900 --> 01:04:19.960
 have the hypo,

01:04:20.220 --> 01:04:20.619
 hyper,

01:04:20.820 --> 01:04:21.519
 thermia line

01:04:21.519 --> 01:04:22.180
 in your phone.

01:04:22.839 --> 01:04:23.759
 I can get it

01:04:23.759 --> 01:04:24.460
 to you

01:04:24.460 --> 01:04:26.519
 because,

01:04:26.879 --> 01:04:27.279
 and especially

01:04:27.279 --> 01:04:28.299
 as the cold happens,

01:04:28.699 --> 01:04:29.899
 DC has amazing,

01:04:30.159 --> 01:04:30.299
 like,

01:04:30.319 --> 01:04:30.960
 they'll go and pick

01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:31.500
 up people.

01:04:33.739 --> 01:04:34.839
 Just having that line

01:04:34.839 --> 01:04:35.359
 in your phone

01:04:35.359 --> 01:04:35.819
 is good.

01:04:36.379 --> 01:04:37.059
 And there's just

01:04:37.059 --> 01:04:37.779
 general things

01:04:37.779 --> 01:04:38.319
 on that card

01:04:38.319 --> 01:04:38.819
 that's helpful.

01:04:38.899 --> 01:04:39.399
 And I'll make sure

01:04:39.399 --> 01:04:40.279
 I get you guys some,

01:04:40.379 --> 01:04:41.279
 I should be getting them soon.

01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:42.760
 So like,

01:04:42.820 --> 01:04:43.200
 you were talking

01:04:43.200 --> 01:04:43.840
 a lot about like,

01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:44.160
 well,

01:04:44.460 --> 01:04:44.800
 you know,

01:04:44.920 --> 01:04:45.340
 it's all about

01:04:45.340 --> 01:04:45.900
 your relationship.

01:04:46.260 --> 01:04:46.440
 I mean,

01:04:46.500 --> 01:04:47.720
 if you're the first

01:04:47.720 --> 01:04:48.640
 I'm talking to somebody

01:04:48.640 --> 01:04:49.900
 and engaging

01:04:49.900 --> 01:04:50.460
 getting them,

01:04:51.200 --> 01:04:52.820
 is it okay

01:04:52.820 --> 01:04:53.320
 to be like,

01:04:53.560 --> 01:04:54.019
 can I,

01:04:55.280 --> 01:04:56.540
 to end with a question

01:04:56.540 --> 01:04:56.980
 of like,

01:04:57.040 --> 01:04:59.100
 what can I do for you?

01:04:59.099 --> 01:05:01.279
 my personal tendency

01:05:01.279 --> 01:05:03.199
 is I don't go there

01:05:03.199 --> 01:05:04.819
 unless they go there

01:05:04.819 --> 01:05:05.360
 because

01:05:05.360 --> 01:05:08.679
 I want them

01:05:08.679 --> 01:05:09.440
 to take ownership.

01:05:09.440 --> 01:05:12.740
 it's knowing

01:05:12.740 --> 01:05:13.980
 where I end

01:05:13.980 --> 01:05:14.820
 and they begin

01:05:14.820 --> 01:05:16.320
 kind of

01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:16.760
 and

01:05:16.760 --> 01:05:18.659
 the homeless are,

01:05:19.240 --> 01:05:19.619
 again,

01:05:19.700 --> 01:05:20.780
 it goes into assumptions.

01:05:21.059 --> 01:05:21.200
 Why?

01:05:21.579 --> 01:05:22.500
 I just,

01:05:23.139 --> 01:05:24.619
 I wait

01:05:24.619 --> 01:05:25.820
 until they ask

01:05:25.820 --> 01:05:26.340
 mainly because

01:05:26.340 --> 01:05:27.280
 everybody has an agenda

01:05:27.280 --> 01:05:28.300
 with my homeless friends

01:05:28.300 --> 01:05:29.519
 and so if I don't know

01:05:29.519 --> 01:05:30.179
 them well enough

01:05:30.179 --> 01:05:31.659
 and I have asked people

01:05:31.659 --> 01:05:33.059
 after a time,

01:05:33.179 --> 01:05:33.920
 like there was Gregory

01:05:33.920 --> 01:05:34.960
 who was one of the most

01:05:34.960 --> 01:05:35.639
 intelligent,

01:05:36.599 --> 01:05:37.159
 sweet,

01:05:37.579 --> 01:05:38.800
 soft-spoken guys

01:05:38.800 --> 01:05:40.200
 that I've ever met

01:05:40.200 --> 01:05:41.880
 and just one day

01:05:41.880 --> 01:05:42.820
 I said to him,

01:05:42.940 --> 01:05:44.000
 why are you out here?

01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:46.180
 I just don't understand.

01:05:46.580 --> 01:05:46.920
 I mean,

01:05:46.980 --> 01:05:48.120
 he was so eloquent

01:05:48.120 --> 01:05:49.440
 and just brilliant

01:05:49.440 --> 01:05:51.000
 and

01:05:51.000 --> 01:05:52.340
 it just took

01:05:52.340 --> 01:05:53.500
 that question mark

01:05:53.500 --> 01:05:54.100
 of like,

01:05:54.180 --> 01:05:55.019
 why are you here?

01:05:55.160 --> 01:05:55.360
 I mean,

01:05:55.380 --> 01:05:56.100
 I didn't do anything.

01:05:56.240 --> 01:05:56.840
 I said I'd get him

01:05:56.840 --> 01:05:57.480
 some information.

01:05:57.680 --> 01:05:58.780
 By the time I got it for him,

01:05:58.800 --> 01:05:59.539
 he was already in,

01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:01.060
 like,

01:06:01.640 --> 01:06:02.660
 he had taken the steps

01:06:02.660 --> 01:06:03.720
 to get off of the streets.

01:06:04.060 --> 01:06:05.200
 I think he just needed

01:06:05.200 --> 01:06:06.519
 someone to remind him

01:06:06.519 --> 01:06:08.640
 how amazing he is.

01:06:08.800 --> 01:06:11.000
 So,

01:06:11.260 --> 01:06:11.480
 I mean,

01:06:11.539 --> 01:06:12.539
 sometimes I've done that

01:06:12.539 --> 01:06:13.420
 but it's very rare.

01:06:13.760 --> 01:06:14.660
 Normally I'll let them

01:06:14.660 --> 01:06:16.580
 when they're wanting the help.

01:06:18.400 --> 01:06:20.220
 I don't know if this falls under it

01:06:20.220 --> 01:06:21.200
 but a counselor

01:06:21.200 --> 01:06:23.160
 once said to a friend of mine

01:06:23.160 --> 01:06:24.580
 and I took this very much to heart,

01:06:25.539 --> 01:06:26.720
 unsolicited advice

01:06:26.720 --> 01:06:27.840
 is a form of control.

01:06:29.160 --> 01:06:30.320
 And even like,

01:06:30.500 --> 01:06:31.220
 can I help you?

01:06:31.300 --> 01:06:32.620
 I sometimes in my mind

01:06:32.620 --> 01:06:33.800
 and I'm not saying I'm right,

01:06:34.300 --> 01:06:35.380
 view it as advice.

01:06:35.380 --> 01:06:35.800
 Like,

01:06:35.880 --> 01:06:36.519
 you obviously

01:06:36.519 --> 01:06:37.940
 need some help.

01:06:39.039 --> 01:06:39.460
 So,

01:06:39.579 --> 01:06:41.059
 I kind of let them come to me

01:06:41.059 --> 01:06:42.039
 when they want help.

01:06:42.960 --> 01:06:44.140
 I don't know if that's right.

01:06:44.180 --> 01:06:44.780
 It may not be.

01:06:44.780 --> 01:06:44.980
 Yeah.

01:06:45.160 --> 01:06:45.680
 And then,

01:06:45.980 --> 01:06:46.360
 sorry,

01:06:46.660 --> 01:06:47.420
 I'm just sort of

01:06:47.420 --> 01:06:47.900
 isolated.

01:06:48.640 --> 01:06:48.820
 You know,

01:06:48.820 --> 01:06:49.140
 I think,

01:06:49.580 --> 01:06:50.120
 I'm just thinking

01:06:50.120 --> 01:06:50.980
 practically like,

01:06:51.340 --> 01:06:51.840
 one day,

01:06:52.220 --> 01:06:52.400
 like,

01:06:52.480 --> 01:06:52.960
 you know,

01:06:53.080 --> 01:06:54.180
 the guy I see every day

01:06:54.180 --> 01:06:55.500
 who is like,

01:06:56.440 --> 01:06:57.500
 hustling for the rest,

01:06:57.500 --> 01:06:57.780
 like,

01:06:58.140 --> 01:06:58.519
 yeah,

01:06:58.580 --> 01:06:59.240
 he's only eating

01:06:59.240 --> 01:07:00.080
 and there's meat

01:07:00.079 --> 01:07:03.079
 and I just don't know

01:07:03.079 --> 01:07:04.179
 what to say

01:07:04.179 --> 01:07:05.159
 other than,

01:07:05.799 --> 01:07:06.719
 I'm sorry,

01:07:07.179 --> 01:07:08.599
 I can't today.

01:07:10.219 --> 01:07:10.779
 Like,

01:07:10.860 --> 01:07:11.340
 I just,

01:07:11.599 --> 01:07:12.880
 I'm trying to think

01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:13.699
 of what else

01:07:13.699 --> 01:07:16.440
 I can do or say

01:07:16.440 --> 01:07:18.000
 or to start that relationship.

01:07:18.420 --> 01:07:18.739
 If there,

01:07:18.900 --> 01:07:20.319
 if the first question to me

01:07:20.319 --> 01:07:21.799
 is if I'm like,

01:07:21.860 --> 01:07:22.099
 hi,

01:07:22.219 --> 01:07:23.380
 and the response to me

01:07:23.380 --> 01:07:24.239
 is here,

01:07:24.719 --> 01:07:25.519
 right?

01:07:25.699 --> 01:07:25.900
 Like,

01:07:25.920 --> 01:07:27.599
 where do I go from there?

01:07:28.019 --> 01:07:29.739
 I would say be patient.

01:07:30.420 --> 01:07:31.980
 Lawrence is a guy,

01:07:32.199 --> 01:07:33.319
 he's a gentleman up here.

01:07:34.059 --> 01:07:34.840
 Before we moved

01:07:34.840 --> 01:07:36.659
 to near Potomac Ave,

01:07:36.699 --> 01:07:37.840
 we lived in Navy Yard

01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:39.480
 and Lawrence,

01:07:39.619 --> 01:07:40.159
 we got to know,

01:07:40.259 --> 01:07:40.920
 he's homeless

01:07:40.920 --> 01:07:42.460
 and was always asking us

01:07:42.460 --> 01:07:43.199
 for food for money

01:07:43.199 --> 01:07:44.799
 and we would,

01:07:45.159 --> 01:07:45.259
 like,

01:07:45.559 --> 01:07:46.380
 my husband would be like,

01:07:46.420 --> 01:07:46.480
 well,

01:07:46.500 --> 01:07:47.219
 I'm going home for lunch,

01:07:47.319 --> 01:07:48.259
 can I bring you back something?

01:07:48.739 --> 01:07:49.340
 And slowly,

01:07:49.500 --> 01:07:50.319
 we built a relationship

01:07:50.319 --> 01:07:51.119
 and honestly,

01:07:51.340 --> 01:07:53.299
 he was completely weirded out

01:07:53.299 --> 01:07:54.759
 that we wanted to talk to him.

01:07:56.940 --> 01:07:58.199
 People don't want to talk to him.

01:07:58.840 --> 01:07:59.960
 It threw him off

01:07:59.960 --> 01:08:01.420
 but we kept at it though.

01:08:02.460 --> 01:08:03.860
 If we didn't have the time

01:08:03.860 --> 01:08:05.519
 or the capacity for food,

01:08:05.599 --> 01:08:06.340
 then we didn't do it.

01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:07.199
 So you,

01:08:07.340 --> 01:08:09.460
 you guys made the time.

01:08:09.720 --> 01:08:10.920
 We're going to go back.

01:08:11.159 --> 01:08:11.880
 We're going to talk to him.

01:08:11.880 --> 01:08:12.039
 Yeah.

01:08:12.380 --> 01:08:12.820
 Yeah.

01:08:12.960 --> 01:08:14.340
 We're going to sit with him.

01:08:14.480 --> 01:08:15.119
 Just like you.

01:08:15.119 --> 01:08:15.360
 Yeah.

01:08:15.480 --> 01:08:16.060
 And it's not,

01:08:16.140 --> 01:08:17.640
 I'm not talking long-term commitment.

01:08:18.159 --> 01:08:18.359
 Like,

01:08:18.420 --> 01:08:19.579
 it was like five minutes.

01:08:19.680 --> 01:08:21.140
 I'm walking to see Joe

01:08:21.140 --> 01:08:22.500
 because he was stationed

01:08:22.500 --> 01:08:23.140
 at Navy Yard,

01:08:23.220 --> 01:08:23.579
 my husband,

01:08:24.100 --> 01:08:25.380
 and we lived in the neighborhood

01:08:25.380 --> 01:08:26.699
 so I'd walk and have lunch

01:08:26.699 --> 01:08:28.579
 and just chit-chat,

01:08:28.980 --> 01:08:29.359
 weather,

01:08:29.560 --> 01:08:29.960
 day,

01:08:30.279 --> 01:08:30.579
 whatever.

01:08:31.640 --> 01:08:31.920
 He,

01:08:32.039 --> 01:08:32.560
 really funny,

01:08:32.720 --> 01:08:33.840
 he decided that

01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:35.260
 my husband Joe

01:08:35.260 --> 01:08:36.180
 was not Joe,

01:08:36.340 --> 01:08:37.039
 he's Mike.

01:08:37.779 --> 01:08:39.079
 I'm Mrs. Mike.

01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:40.900
 Jack is Mike Jr.

01:08:40.899 --> 01:08:42.019
 and our dog Duke

01:08:42.019 --> 01:08:42.719
 is John Wayne.

01:08:43.179 --> 01:08:44.139
 And to this day,

01:08:44.239 --> 01:08:44.879
 he refuses.

01:08:45.319 --> 01:08:46.099
 He also decided

01:08:46.099 --> 01:08:46.859
 I'm from L.A.

01:08:48.399 --> 01:08:48.799
 Yeah.

01:08:49.019 --> 01:08:49.339
 Anyway,

01:08:49.699 --> 01:08:52.119
 but it took a long time

01:08:52.119 --> 01:08:53.339
 for him to feel comfortable

01:08:53.339 --> 01:08:54.159
 because he just was

01:08:54.159 --> 01:08:55.539
 completely weirded out

01:08:55.539 --> 01:08:56.719
 that I wanted to talk to him

01:08:56.719 --> 01:08:57.559
 and that Joe wanted

01:08:57.559 --> 01:08:58.159
 to talk to him.

01:09:00.059 --> 01:09:01.059
 So I would just say

01:09:01.059 --> 01:09:01.779
 be patient,

01:09:02.019 --> 01:09:02.619
 do whatever,

01:09:03.199 --> 01:09:03.719
 and again,

01:09:03.879 --> 01:09:05.019
 I'm not the end-all

01:09:05.019 --> 01:09:06.279
 on homelessness,

01:09:06.739 --> 01:09:08.179
 so do what works for you.

01:09:08.939 --> 01:09:10.199
 If I was in that scenario,

01:09:10.199 --> 01:09:11.239
 I would work with

01:09:11.239 --> 01:09:13.239
 whatever time capacity

01:09:13.239 --> 01:09:13.939
 I have.

01:09:15.819 --> 01:09:17.699
 If he is asking for food,

01:09:19.380 --> 01:09:20.220
 granola bars,

01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:21.639
 breakfast bars,

01:09:22.000 --> 01:09:23.380
 and honestly,

01:09:23.619 --> 01:09:24.559
 if I had the time,

01:09:24.760 --> 01:09:25.500
 and I have done this

01:09:25.500 --> 01:09:26.079
 with Lawrence,

01:09:26.359 --> 01:09:28.559
 I'll sit and eat with him

01:09:28.559 --> 01:09:29.519
 if I brought something,

01:09:29.699 --> 01:09:30.500
 like bring an extra one

01:09:30.500 --> 01:09:31.220
 and just sit with him.

01:09:31.679 --> 01:09:31.920
 I'm like,

01:09:31.960 --> 01:09:32.619
 oh, I'm hungry too.

01:09:32.699 --> 01:09:33.359
 Can I sit with you?

01:09:35.479 --> 01:09:35.840
 Yeah,

01:09:35.960 --> 01:09:36.539
 but be consistent.

01:09:37.039 --> 01:09:37.639
 Keep at it.

01:09:38.779 --> 01:09:39.139
 Yeah.

01:09:40.199 --> 01:09:41.199
 Yes?

01:09:42.159 --> 01:09:42.859
 It's kind of like

01:09:42.859 --> 01:09:43.739
 a safety question.

01:09:43.960 --> 01:09:44.579
 Do you feel safe

01:09:44.579 --> 01:09:45.899
 talking to people alone?

01:09:46.139 --> 01:09:46.519
 Because I know

01:09:46.519 --> 01:09:47.739
 at the beginning

01:09:47.739 --> 01:09:48.220
 of the story,

01:09:48.300 --> 01:09:48.939
 you talked about

01:09:48.939 --> 01:09:50.179
 being with a friend.

01:09:50.319 --> 01:09:50.579
 Mm-hmm.

01:09:51.260 --> 01:09:52.179
 So most of the time

01:09:52.179 --> 01:09:53.119
 when I pass people,

01:09:53.319 --> 01:09:54.319
 I'm on my own

01:09:54.319 --> 01:09:55.439
 because I live downtown

01:09:55.439 --> 01:09:57.679
 and I pass the same people.

01:09:57.880 --> 01:09:58.579
 And sometimes

01:09:58.579 --> 01:10:00.319
 you do stop and say hello,

01:10:00.819 --> 01:10:01.300
 but I also,

01:10:01.439 --> 01:10:02.079
 I've been attacked

01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:02.960
 by a random person.

01:10:03.199 --> 01:10:03.599
 So like,

01:10:03.600 --> 01:10:05.440
 how do you?

01:10:05.960 --> 01:10:07.140
 I trust my gut.

01:10:07.280 --> 01:10:08.180
 If I don't feel safe,

01:10:08.220 --> 01:10:08.840
 I don't do it.

01:10:10.180 --> 01:10:13.920
 I do feel safer,

01:10:14.060 --> 01:10:15.060
 especially if other people

01:10:15.060 --> 01:10:15.660
 are around.

01:10:16.020 --> 01:10:16.260
 I mean,

01:10:16.280 --> 01:10:17.160
 if it's just me

01:10:17.160 --> 01:10:18.260
 and a person,

01:10:19.560 --> 01:10:21.039
 like in a park,

01:10:21.220 --> 01:10:22.000
 it's dark,

01:10:22.079 --> 01:10:22.840
 I'm not going to do it.

01:10:23.420 --> 01:10:25.640
 If it's Easter Market

01:10:25.640 --> 01:10:27.280
 on a Saturday,

01:10:27.600 --> 01:10:27.780
 yeah,

01:10:27.840 --> 01:10:28.520
 I'll totally talk to you.

01:10:28.900 --> 01:10:29.980
 I'll totally sit there.

01:10:29.979 --> 01:10:31.079
 When I was talking about

01:10:31.079 --> 01:10:32.359
 the Lawrence on Navy Yard,

01:10:32.719 --> 01:10:33.539
 it was M Street,

01:10:33.719 --> 01:10:34.259
 very busy.

01:10:34.979 --> 01:10:35.539
 So are you mostly

01:10:35.539 --> 01:10:36.299
 engaging with people

01:10:36.299 --> 01:10:36.799
 on your own?

01:10:37.500 --> 01:10:38.099
 Right now?

01:10:38.199 --> 01:10:38.359
 Yeah,

01:10:38.439 --> 01:10:38.959
 or with Joe,

01:10:39.079 --> 01:10:39.319
 yeah.

01:10:39.839 --> 01:10:40.559
 Because it,

01:10:41.199 --> 01:10:42.399
 what I'm talking about

01:10:42.399 --> 01:10:43.479
 is your day-to-day.

01:10:44.799 --> 01:10:46.259
 So it's not,

01:10:46.599 --> 01:10:47.639
 four of us are going to,

01:10:47.719 --> 01:10:49.039
 it's not our weekly ministry.

01:10:49.279 --> 01:10:49.959
 I'm talking about,

01:10:50.039 --> 01:10:50.899
 I'm going to work

01:10:50.899 --> 01:10:53.179
 and Tom is there every day.

01:10:53.479 --> 01:10:54.459
 And so a lot of times

01:10:54.459 --> 01:10:55.259
 we don't have the luxury

01:10:55.259 --> 01:10:56.839
 of having a buddy.

01:10:56.840 --> 01:10:59.900
 Do you just kind of,

01:11:00.140 --> 01:11:00.420
 I mean,

01:11:01.119 --> 01:11:01.880
 do you kind of have

01:11:01.880 --> 01:11:02.699
 like two or three

01:11:02.699 --> 01:11:03.500
 that you're like

01:11:03.500 --> 01:11:04.440
 at any one time

01:11:04.440 --> 01:11:05.239
 or do you have

01:11:05.239 --> 01:11:05.920
 sort of a sense

01:11:05.920 --> 01:11:06.520
 for like,

01:11:06.760 --> 01:11:07.579
 just pick one

01:11:07.579 --> 01:11:09.039
 and then have that

01:11:09.039 --> 01:11:10.159
 be kind of the relationship

01:11:10.159 --> 01:11:10.800
 that you're building?

01:11:11.319 --> 01:11:11.480
 I mean,

01:11:11.520 --> 01:11:12.140
 I literally probably

01:11:12.140 --> 01:11:12.779
 passed 20.

01:11:13.119 --> 01:11:13.420
 Yeah,

01:11:13.579 --> 01:11:14.199
 that's true.

01:11:14.659 --> 01:11:14.860
 I mean,

01:11:14.880 --> 01:11:15.760
 it might be reception

01:11:15.760 --> 01:11:17.119
 in that case.

01:11:18.039 --> 01:11:18.720
 Right now,

01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:19.880
 the guys at the park,

01:11:20.300 --> 01:11:21.460
 I'm slowly getting

01:11:21.460 --> 01:11:22.100
 to know them,

01:11:22.180 --> 01:11:22.739
 but it's just,

01:11:23.380 --> 01:11:24.020
 hey guys,

01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:24.980
 you know,

01:11:25.039 --> 01:11:25.940
 we just wave to them

01:11:25.939 --> 01:11:26.979
 because we're the new neighbors.

01:11:27.199 --> 01:11:27.879
 I'm the strange

01:11:27.879 --> 01:11:29.000
 middle-aged woman

01:11:29.000 --> 01:11:30.460
 that is real friendly.

01:11:32.479 --> 01:11:33.839
 And I'm just building on that

01:11:33.839 --> 01:11:34.319
 because again,

01:11:34.379 --> 01:11:35.519
 I've got long-term views

01:11:35.519 --> 01:11:36.559
 so everything doesn't

01:11:36.559 --> 01:11:37.239
 have to be today.

01:11:39.439 --> 01:11:39.839
 Yeah.

01:11:40.460 --> 01:11:41.299
 You had a question.

01:11:41.460 --> 01:11:41.559
 Yeah.

01:11:42.000 --> 01:11:43.379
 I appreciate your comments

01:11:43.379 --> 01:11:44.799
 on talking about

01:11:44.799 --> 01:11:46.059
 like practice of speaking

01:11:46.059 --> 01:11:46.759
 when you're approached

01:11:46.759 --> 01:11:47.719
 with the first question

01:11:47.719 --> 01:11:48.799
 maybe ask for a couple

01:11:48.799 --> 01:11:49.339
 of dollars.

01:11:49.739 --> 01:11:50.359
 And I'm curious

01:11:50.359 --> 01:11:51.319
 and also with the reference

01:11:51.319 --> 01:11:52.039
 to when helping her

01:11:52.039 --> 01:11:53.159
 like her critique,

01:11:53.699 --> 01:11:54.500
 we hear a lot

01:11:54.500 --> 01:11:55.840
 is that by giving

01:11:55.840 --> 01:11:56.399
 a couple of dollars

01:11:56.399 --> 01:11:57.100
 here or there

01:11:57.100 --> 01:11:58.659
 or anything like that

01:11:58.659 --> 01:12:00.859
 can be seen as perpetuating

01:12:00.859 --> 01:12:01.659
 or sustaining

01:12:01.659 --> 01:12:03.420
 a detrimental cycle

01:12:03.420 --> 01:12:04.039
 underneath

01:12:04.039 --> 01:12:05.380
 or some underlying

01:12:05.380 --> 01:12:06.539
 harmful cycle.

01:12:07.000 --> 01:12:07.880
 How do you make

01:12:07.880 --> 01:12:08.140
 that?

01:12:08.819 --> 01:12:09.260
 Well,

01:12:09.460 --> 01:12:09.899
 I mean,

01:12:10.560 --> 01:12:11.560
 like I said,

01:12:12.279 --> 01:12:13.159
 one or two dollars,

01:12:13.279 --> 01:12:14.039
 I really don't think

01:12:14.039 --> 01:12:15.119
 it's your comfort level.

01:12:15.220 --> 01:12:15.619
 I don't think

01:12:15.619 --> 01:12:16.180
 that's going to make

01:12:16.180 --> 01:12:16.619
 or break

01:12:16.619 --> 01:12:17.899
 a whole situation.

01:12:18.939 --> 01:12:19.180
 I mean,

01:12:19.220 --> 01:12:19.420
 yes,

01:12:19.500 --> 01:12:20.479
 compounded by maybe

01:12:20.479 --> 01:12:21.319
 50 people give

01:12:21.319 --> 01:12:22.859
 one or two dollars.

01:12:23.439 --> 01:12:24.659
 But you're not responsible

01:12:24.659 --> 01:12:25.739
 for the 50 other people.

01:12:28.019 --> 01:12:28.619
 And again,

01:12:28.659 --> 01:12:29.719
 it goes back to knowing

01:12:29.719 --> 01:12:31.119
 if I know the situation,

01:12:31.619 --> 01:12:33.759
 then I might be

01:12:33.759 --> 01:12:34.799
 willing to give

01:12:34.799 --> 01:12:35.399
 versus

01:12:35.399 --> 01:12:36.979
 I just give out money.

01:12:39.539 --> 01:12:40.339
 I'm trying to think

01:12:40.339 --> 01:12:40.739
 when I...

01:12:40.739 --> 01:12:41.219
 What do you carry

01:12:41.219 --> 01:12:41.699
 with you?

01:12:41.839 --> 01:12:42.699
 You said granola bars?

01:12:42.759 --> 01:12:42.959
 Yeah,

01:12:43.119 --> 01:12:44.739
 I rarely have cash.

01:12:44.859 --> 01:12:45.359
 So what do you carry

01:12:45.359 --> 01:12:45.799
 with you personally?

01:12:46.359 --> 01:12:46.939
 Granola bars,

01:12:47.019 --> 01:12:47.779
 usually water

01:12:47.779 --> 01:12:48.799
 because I'm usually

01:12:48.799 --> 01:12:49.739
 walking with my stroller

01:12:49.739 --> 01:12:51.199
 so having a bunch

01:12:51.199 --> 01:12:51.939
 of water in the bottom

01:12:51.939 --> 01:12:52.779
 is not an issue.

01:12:53.199 --> 01:12:54.359
 Right now in my car,

01:12:54.760 --> 01:12:56.000
 I have hats and gloves

01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:57.960
 because it's about

01:12:57.960 --> 01:12:58.539
 to get cold

01:12:58.539 --> 01:12:59.559
 and even last night

01:12:59.559 --> 01:13:00.219
 it was cold enough

01:13:00.219 --> 01:13:00.939
 for hats and gloves.

01:13:01.340 --> 01:13:02.460
 I have water,

01:13:03.039 --> 01:13:04.059
 I have granola bars,

01:13:04.260 --> 01:13:05.179
 umbrellas,

01:13:06.019 --> 01:13:07.500
 and McDonald's gift cards.

01:13:07.760 --> 01:13:08.420
 So that's personally

01:13:08.420 --> 01:13:09.979
 what I have in my car

01:13:09.979 --> 01:13:10.539
 right here

01:13:10.539 --> 01:13:11.739
 across the street.

01:13:12.880 --> 01:13:14.079
 So I try to be prepared

01:13:14.079 --> 01:13:14.619
 that way.

01:13:14.779 --> 01:13:15.679
 Like I think ahead

01:13:15.679 --> 01:13:16.380
 and have those things

01:13:16.380 --> 01:13:16.800
 with me.

01:13:17.039 --> 01:13:17.840
 I'm also a mom

01:13:17.840 --> 01:13:18.699
 so having snacks

01:13:18.699 --> 01:13:19.119
 on the hand

01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:19.479
 is always.

01:13:19.739 --> 01:13:20.279
 I mean,

01:13:20.539 --> 01:13:21.019
 yeah.

01:13:23.099 --> 01:13:23.539
 Though,

01:13:23.739 --> 01:13:24.059
 I mean,

01:13:24.500 --> 01:13:25.079
 I don't know

01:13:25.079 --> 01:13:26.739
 how much the people

01:13:26.739 --> 01:13:27.859
 on the side of the road

01:13:27.859 --> 01:13:28.579
 really like

01:13:28.579 --> 01:13:29.939
 little fruit snacks.

01:13:33.500 --> 01:13:33.899
 Yes?

01:13:34.199 --> 01:13:35.179
 I had a quick question

01:13:35.179 --> 01:13:35.779
 about like,

01:13:35.880 --> 01:13:36.359
 is there,

01:13:36.699 --> 01:13:37.319
 because I know

01:13:37.319 --> 01:13:37.880
 there's a,

01:13:38.279 --> 01:13:38.899
 there's some people

01:13:38.899 --> 01:13:39.420
 in this church

01:13:39.420 --> 01:13:40.000
 that have helped

01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:41.359
 one specific person

01:13:41.359 --> 01:13:41.979
 out of mind

01:13:41.979 --> 01:13:43.500
 for a very long

01:13:43.500 --> 01:13:44.019
 period of time

01:13:44.019 --> 01:13:44.559
 like a year

01:13:44.559 --> 01:13:44.899
 or more

01:13:44.899 --> 01:13:46.899
 and like done

01:13:46.899 --> 01:13:48.659
 over and above

01:13:48.659 --> 01:13:49.359
 like many,

01:13:49.479 --> 01:13:49.879
 many things

01:13:49.879 --> 01:13:50.479
 helping out

01:13:50.479 --> 01:13:51.739
 like gone to court

01:13:51.739 --> 01:13:52.279
 for them

01:13:52.279 --> 01:13:52.819
 and all this

01:13:52.819 --> 01:13:53.379
 kind of stuff.

01:13:54.599 --> 01:13:54.859
 You know,

01:13:54.859 --> 01:13:55.539
 there's just like,

01:13:55.759 --> 01:13:56.039
 you know,

01:13:56.319 --> 01:13:56.879
 there's been

01:13:56.879 --> 01:13:57.679
 anger,

01:13:57.839 --> 01:13:58.239
 violence,

01:13:58.379 --> 01:13:58.779
 cussing,

01:13:58.899 --> 01:13:59.099
 you know,

01:13:59.100 --> 01:13:59.380
 all that.

01:13:59.440 --> 01:13:59.940
 Is there like

01:13:59.940 --> 01:14:00.460
 a point

01:14:00.460 --> 01:14:01.100
 where you're just

01:14:01.100 --> 01:14:01.680
 kind of like,

01:14:02.100 --> 01:14:03.579
 you let that person

01:14:03.579 --> 01:14:04.600
 go?

01:14:04.600 --> 01:14:05.000
 Yeah.

01:14:05.840 --> 01:14:06.240
 Yeah.

01:14:06.239 --> 01:14:07.699
 I mean,

01:14:07.739 --> 01:14:08.260
 it all depends

01:14:08.260 --> 01:14:09.119
 on your limits

01:14:09.119 --> 01:14:09.840
 and what the whole

01:14:09.840 --> 01:14:10.719
 situation is.

01:14:10.800 --> 01:14:11.559
 Can they do this

01:14:11.559 --> 01:14:12.059
 themselves

01:14:12.059 --> 01:14:12.599
 and they just

01:14:12.599 --> 01:14:13.319
 don't want to?

01:14:13.979 --> 01:14:14.619
 It may be

01:14:14.619 --> 01:14:16.939
 by me intervening,

01:14:17.039 --> 01:14:18.039
 I'm actually denying

01:14:18.039 --> 01:14:20.019
 them the time.

01:14:20.139 --> 01:14:20.340
 I mean,

01:14:20.479 --> 01:14:20.840
 it's a,

01:14:21.139 --> 01:14:22.239
 each case is very

01:14:22.239 --> 01:14:23.659
 different in each

01:14:23.659 --> 01:14:24.159
 scenario.

01:14:25.039 --> 01:14:25.679
 But yeah,

01:14:25.779 --> 01:14:26.319
 absolutely.

01:14:26.960 --> 01:14:27.880
 There is a time

01:14:27.880 --> 01:14:28.579
 when you have to

01:14:28.579 --> 01:14:29.260
 just say no.

01:14:29.739 --> 01:14:30.279
 I've even done

01:14:30.279 --> 01:14:30.880
 that with Larry

01:14:30.880 --> 01:14:31.800
 who is a dear,

01:14:32.019 --> 01:14:32.460
 dear,

01:14:32.659 --> 01:14:33.260
 dear friend.

01:14:33.260 --> 01:14:36.380
 I've just been

01:14:36.380 --> 01:14:36.600
 like,

01:14:36.699 --> 01:14:36.980
 Larry,

01:14:37.239 --> 01:14:37.539
 no,

01:14:37.680 --> 01:14:38.140
 I've helped you

01:14:38.140 --> 01:14:38.920
 out way too

01:14:38.920 --> 01:14:39.699
 much and you

01:14:39.699 --> 01:14:40.119
 need to figure

01:14:40.119 --> 01:14:40.619
 this out

01:14:40.619 --> 01:14:41.119
 and I'm out.

01:14:43.920 --> 01:14:44.640
 Please send me

01:14:44.640 --> 01:14:45.140
 a bitmoji.

01:14:45.860 --> 01:14:46.140
 You know,

01:14:46.340 --> 01:14:46.780
 I mean,

01:14:46.780 --> 01:14:47.860
 we're still friends

01:14:47.860 --> 01:14:49.220
 because I view it

01:14:49.220 --> 01:14:49.800
 as how would I

01:14:49.800 --> 01:14:50.280
 do it with

01:14:50.280 --> 01:14:51.840
 my friends?

01:14:52.060 --> 01:14:52.520
 I mean,

01:14:52.739 --> 01:14:53.460
 if my best friend

01:14:53.460 --> 01:14:54.920
 Aaron needs me

01:14:54.920 --> 01:14:55.520
 to survive,

01:14:55.820 --> 01:14:56.280
 then it's not

01:14:56.280 --> 01:14:56.720
 a friendship,

01:14:56.980 --> 01:14:58.000
 it's a caretaking

01:14:58.000 --> 01:14:58.820
 relationship.

01:14:59.300 --> 01:15:00.039
 I want a friendship.

01:15:01.659 --> 01:15:02.060
 Now,

01:15:02.119 --> 01:15:02.400
 granted,

01:15:02.539 --> 01:15:02.900
 there have been

01:15:02.899 --> 01:15:03.399
 times,

01:15:03.579 --> 01:15:04.219
 ups and downs

01:15:04.219 --> 01:15:04.659
 in life

01:15:04.659 --> 01:15:05.379
 where my best

01:15:05.379 --> 01:15:05.879
 friend needed

01:15:05.879 --> 01:15:06.439
 me to do

01:15:06.439 --> 01:15:07.079
 things that

01:15:07.079 --> 01:15:07.579
 she couldn't

01:15:07.579 --> 01:15:07.920
 do,

01:15:08.039 --> 01:15:08.559
 but that's

01:15:08.559 --> 01:15:09.119
 not the whole

01:15:09.119 --> 01:15:09.839
 basis of the

01:15:09.839 --> 01:15:10.119
 friendship.

01:15:11.359 --> 01:15:11.759
 I don't know,

01:15:11.819 --> 01:15:12.460
 is that helpful?

01:15:12.699 --> 01:15:13.099
 And again,

01:15:13.219 --> 01:15:14.339
 it's completely

01:15:14.339 --> 01:15:14.979
 situation.

01:15:15.219 --> 01:15:15.559
 Person,

01:15:15.679 --> 01:15:16.079
 the person

01:15:16.079 --> 01:15:16.659
 is different.

01:15:17.079 --> 01:15:17.519
 Caretaking,

01:15:17.659 --> 01:15:17.839
 like,

01:15:18.539 --> 01:15:19.219
 the people that

01:15:19.219 --> 01:15:19.739
 can,

01:15:20.119 --> 01:15:20.799
 their limits

01:15:20.799 --> 01:15:21.359
 are different.

01:15:21.699 --> 01:15:21.939
 I mean,

01:15:22.000 --> 01:15:22.479
 it's just,

01:15:22.879 --> 01:15:24.079
 every situation

01:15:24.079 --> 01:15:24.819
 is so fluid

01:15:24.819 --> 01:15:25.739
 that I can't

01:15:25.739 --> 01:15:26.339
 have an exact

01:15:26.339 --> 01:15:26.819
 answer.

01:15:28.539 --> 01:15:29.019
 Yeah.

01:15:30.179 --> 01:15:30.659
 Question.

01:15:31.579 --> 01:15:32.039
 You said,

01:15:32.039 --> 01:15:32.560
 you spoke

01:15:32.560 --> 01:15:33.159
 very briefly

01:15:33.159 --> 01:15:34.519
 about mental

01:15:34.519 --> 01:15:35.019
 illness.

01:15:35.159 --> 01:15:35.479
 Yeah.

01:15:35.840 --> 01:15:36.420
 Very briefly

01:15:36.420 --> 01:15:36.800
 because it's

01:15:36.800 --> 01:15:37.439
 way above my

01:15:37.439 --> 01:15:37.819
 pay grade.

01:15:38.300 --> 01:15:38.619
 Right,

01:15:38.720 --> 01:15:39.359
 but I feel

01:15:39.359 --> 01:15:39.800
 like many

01:15:39.800 --> 01:15:40.199
 of the

01:15:40.199 --> 01:15:40.699
 homeless people

01:15:40.699 --> 01:15:41.619
 I have

01:15:41.619 --> 01:15:42.699
 spoken with,

01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:43.260
 like,

01:15:43.359 --> 01:15:43.659
 mental,

01:15:44.460 --> 01:15:44.699
 like,

01:15:44.760 --> 01:15:45.119
 there's this,

01:15:45.220 --> 01:15:45.479
 it's the

01:15:45.479 --> 01:15:45.979
 elephant in the

01:15:45.979 --> 01:15:46.100
 room,

01:15:46.159 --> 01:15:46.380
 right?

01:15:46.539 --> 01:15:46.720
 Yeah.

01:15:46.720 --> 01:15:47.680
 This person

01:15:47.680 --> 01:15:48.159
 is clearly,

01:15:48.159 --> 01:15:48.579
 like,

01:15:48.720 --> 01:15:50.260
 on a different

01:15:50.260 --> 01:15:51.159
 planet from me,

01:15:51.279 --> 01:15:51.739
 and I don't

01:15:51.739 --> 01:15:53.019
 know how to,

01:15:54.779 --> 01:15:55.060
 like,

01:15:55.060 --> 01:15:56.460
 just having

01:15:56.460 --> 01:15:57.160
 a conversation,

01:15:57.480 --> 01:15:57.740
 period,

01:15:58.120 --> 01:15:59.580
 is difficult,

01:15:59.760 --> 01:16:01.260
 or it's a

01:16:01.260 --> 01:16:02.160
 very strange

01:16:02.160 --> 01:16:02.780
 conversation.

01:16:03.180 --> 01:16:03.280
 Yeah.

01:16:04.580 --> 01:16:05.100
 Yeah,

01:16:05.280 --> 01:16:05.520
 yeah,

01:16:05.700 --> 01:16:06.520
 and so I don't

01:16:06.520 --> 01:16:06.539
 know.

01:16:06.539 --> 01:16:07.320
 I just listen.

01:16:08.300 --> 01:16:08.600
 I mean,

01:16:08.720 --> 01:16:10.320
 sometimes it's

01:16:10.320 --> 01:16:11.000
 just nice to be

01:16:11.000 --> 01:16:11.240
 heard,

01:16:11.320 --> 01:16:11.880
 and I try to

01:16:11.880 --> 01:16:12.500
 interject where

01:16:12.500 --> 01:16:13.160
 I can.

01:16:14.320 --> 01:16:14.760
 I mean,

01:16:14.860 --> 01:16:15.760
 I have to

01:16:15.760 --> 01:16:16.480
 realize that my

01:16:16.480 --> 01:16:17.340
 skill set can't

01:16:17.340 --> 01:16:17.940
 fix this.

01:16:18.440 --> 01:16:19.200
 I can't,

01:16:19.220 --> 01:16:19.700
 but I can

01:16:19.700 --> 01:16:20.060
 listen.

01:16:20.060 --> 01:16:22.080
 when someone

01:16:22.080 --> 01:16:22.480
 is mentally

01:16:22.480 --> 01:16:22.700
 ill,

01:16:22.780 --> 01:16:23.180
 do you spend

01:16:23.180 --> 01:16:25.120
 more effort

01:16:25.120 --> 01:16:26.460
 on sort of

01:16:26.460 --> 01:16:27.039
 relief,

01:16:27.900 --> 01:16:28.120
 like,

01:16:28.200 --> 01:16:28.680
 median physical

01:16:28.680 --> 01:16:28.800
 needs?

01:16:28.800 --> 01:16:29.080
 Yeah,

01:16:29.200 --> 01:16:29.520
 because they

01:16:29.520 --> 01:16:29.780
 can't,

01:16:29.880 --> 01:16:30.560
 that would be,

01:16:30.740 --> 01:16:31.340
 depending on

01:16:31.340 --> 01:16:32.020
 what level,

01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:32.840
 like,

01:16:32.920 --> 01:16:33.140
 okay,

01:16:33.320 --> 01:16:34.000
 I said,

01:16:34.180 --> 01:16:34.200
 I,

01:16:34.460 --> 01:16:34.880
 did I even

01:16:34.880 --> 01:16:35.480
 say what I

01:16:35.480 --> 01:16:35.740
 had,

01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:36.539
 that I got

01:16:36.539 --> 01:16:37.420
 diagnosed with

01:16:37.420 --> 01:16:37.800
 OCD,

01:16:38.120 --> 01:16:38.840
 postpartum OCD,

01:16:39.300 --> 01:16:39.760
 anxiety,

01:16:39.980 --> 01:16:40.420
 and depression?

01:16:41.260 --> 01:16:41.760
 The OCD

01:16:41.760 --> 01:16:42.620
 still stayed.

01:16:43.640 --> 01:16:44.039
 So,

01:16:44.220 --> 01:16:44.500
 I mean,

01:16:44.900 --> 01:16:45.539
 I have a

01:16:45.539 --> 01:16:46.100
 mental illness,

01:16:46.340 --> 01:16:46.740
 but I'm

01:16:46.740 --> 01:16:48.340
 self-functioning.

01:16:49.080 --> 01:16:49.380
 I mean,

01:16:49.400 --> 01:16:49.960
 it depends on

01:16:49.960 --> 01:16:51.439
 the level,

01:16:51.960 --> 01:16:52.600
 but I think

01:16:52.600 --> 01:16:53.500
 that is definitely,

01:16:53.699 --> 01:16:54.199
 they can't

01:16:54.199 --> 01:16:54.760
 manage life

01:16:54.760 --> 01:16:55.239
 themselves,

01:16:56.060 --> 01:16:56.819
 then yes,

01:16:56.920 --> 01:16:57.579
 relief answers,

01:16:58.079 --> 01:16:58.500
 absolutely.

01:16:58.920 --> 01:16:59.220
 Because they

01:16:59.220 --> 01:16:59.699
 can't do it.

01:16:59.779 --> 01:17:00.079
 I mean,

01:17:00.340 --> 01:17:00.659
 they,

01:17:01.239 --> 01:17:01.539
 yeah,

01:17:02.399 --> 01:17:02.960
 I mean,

01:17:02.980 --> 01:17:03.279
 it's very

01:17:03.279 --> 01:17:04.000
 appropriate then.

01:17:05.600 --> 01:17:06.279
 But other

01:17:06.279 --> 01:17:06.640
 than that,

01:17:06.680 --> 01:17:07.140
 I really do

01:17:07.140 --> 01:17:07.680
 try to listen,

01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:08.380
 even if it

01:17:08.380 --> 01:17:09.420
 makes no sense

01:17:09.420 --> 01:17:09.880
 whatsoever,

01:17:10.239 --> 01:17:12.840
 because sometimes

01:17:12.840 --> 01:17:13.640
 they're so easily

01:17:13.640 --> 01:17:14.739
 brushed off because

01:17:14.739 --> 01:17:15.439
 they don't make

01:17:15.439 --> 01:17:15.840
 sense,

01:17:16.880 --> 01:17:17.619
 that just sitting

01:17:17.619 --> 01:17:18.140
 there and giving

01:17:18.140 --> 01:17:18.800
 them the dignity

01:17:18.800 --> 01:17:19.600
 of my time,

01:17:19.600 --> 01:17:20.860
 and looking

01:17:20.860 --> 01:17:21.320
 them in the

01:17:21.320 --> 01:17:21.579
 eye.

01:17:22.380 --> 01:17:22.480
 Yeah.

01:17:23.060 --> 01:17:23.320
 Can we do

01:17:23.320 --> 01:17:23.539
 one more

01:17:23.539 --> 01:17:23.780
 question?

01:17:24.060 --> 01:17:24.380
 Does anybody

01:17:24.380 --> 01:17:24.800
 have any more

01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:25.140
 questions?

01:17:27.460 --> 01:17:27.880
 Great,

01:17:27.980 --> 01:17:28.180
 yes,

01:17:28.260 --> 01:17:28.400
 yeah.

01:17:28.880 --> 01:17:30.400
 Why D.C.?

01:17:30.400 --> 01:17:30.800
 You, like,

01:17:30.840 --> 01:17:31.320
 talked a little

01:17:31.320 --> 01:17:32.039
 bit about why

01:17:32.039 --> 01:17:32.880
 Atlanta.

01:17:33.120 --> 01:17:33.420
 Okay,

01:17:33.539 --> 01:17:34.520
 my husband

01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:36.539
 was in the

01:17:36.539 --> 01:17:36.780
 Navy,

01:17:37.160 --> 01:17:37.660
 and I met

01:17:37.660 --> 01:17:38.340
 him in Atlanta,

01:17:38.640 --> 01:17:39.360
 actually attending

01:17:39.360 --> 01:17:39.840
 one of these

01:17:39.840 --> 01:17:40.220
 classes.

01:17:40.560 --> 01:17:41.180
 He attended.

01:17:41.700 --> 01:17:42.340
 I taught.

01:17:43.780 --> 01:17:44.600
 And I was so,

01:17:44.700 --> 01:17:45.600
 I only kind of

01:17:45.600 --> 01:17:46.020
 knew him,

01:17:46.079 --> 01:17:46.539
 and he's an

01:17:46.539 --> 01:17:47.180
 intel officer,

01:17:47.180 --> 01:17:47.740
 and I was so

01:17:47.740 --> 01:17:48.200
 nervous,

01:17:48.840 --> 01:17:50.020
 because he's

01:17:50.020 --> 01:17:50.480
 intelligent.

01:17:51.640 --> 01:17:52.200
 Or so,

01:17:52.340 --> 01:17:52.640
 I don't know.

01:17:54.000 --> 01:17:54.680
 He is.

01:17:54.720 --> 01:17:55.000
 He's very

01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:55.260
 smart.

01:17:56.460 --> 01:17:57.200
 We moved for

01:17:57.200 --> 01:17:57.720
 his job,

01:17:58.240 --> 01:17:58.700
 and it was

01:17:58.700 --> 01:17:59.320
 just the right

01:17:59.320 --> 01:17:59.800
 time.

01:18:01.619 --> 01:18:02.539
 I'm still very

01:18:02.539 --> 01:18:03.560
 much involved in

01:18:03.560 --> 01:18:03.920
 Atlanta,

01:18:04.220 --> 01:18:05.260
 but it was very

01:18:05.260 --> 01:18:05.940
 good to have Ben

01:18:05.940 --> 01:18:07.760
 come in with a

01:18:07.760 --> 01:18:08.520
 different mind

01:18:08.520 --> 01:18:09.700
 than mine,

01:18:09.780 --> 01:18:10.260
 because you can

01:18:10.260 --> 01:18:11.860
 get so closed

01:18:11.860 --> 01:18:12.700
 in with one

01:18:12.700 --> 01:18:14.340
 person's

01:18:14.340 --> 01:18:16.020
 perception and

01:18:16.020 --> 01:18:16.500
 perspectives,

01:18:17.160 --> 01:18:18.520
 where he still,

01:18:18.880 --> 01:18:19.660
 we work together,

01:18:19.780 --> 01:18:20.480
 but he brings in

01:18:20.480 --> 01:18:21.120
 other thoughts.

01:18:21.580 --> 01:18:22.140
 So it was just

01:18:22.140 --> 01:18:22.660
 the right time.

01:18:22.780 --> 01:18:23.620
 Sometimes people,

01:18:24.040 --> 01:18:24.700
 organizations,

01:18:24.940 --> 01:18:26.100
 get kind of stuck

01:18:26.100 --> 01:18:26.440
 with their

01:18:26.440 --> 01:18:27.600
 founder's personality,

01:18:28.280 --> 01:18:29.200
 especially after a

01:18:29.200 --> 01:18:29.620
 long time.

01:18:29.720 --> 01:18:30.860
 So it was a good

01:18:30.860 --> 01:18:31.460
 time to bring

01:18:31.460 --> 01:18:32.260
 other people in,

01:18:32.880 --> 01:18:33.680
 and for me to

01:18:33.680 --> 01:18:34.480
 branch out to a

01:18:34.480 --> 01:18:34.980
 different city.

01:18:35.700 --> 01:18:36.080
 So, yeah.

01:18:36.180 --> 01:18:36.720
 And we love it

01:18:36.720 --> 01:18:36.840
 here.

01:18:36.920 --> 01:18:37.500
 We decided to

01:18:37.500 --> 01:18:37.680
 stay.

01:18:38.880 --> 01:18:39.280
 Yeah.

01:18:39.700 --> 01:18:40.280
 Long term,

01:18:40.360 --> 01:18:40.840
 bought a house,

01:18:41.200 --> 01:18:41.560
 wearing it.

01:18:42.140 --> 01:18:42.260
 Yeah.

01:18:43.460 --> 01:18:43.860
 Okay.

01:18:44.900 --> 01:18:45.620
 Last question.

01:18:46.600 --> 01:18:47.420
 Thank you guys

01:18:47.420 --> 01:18:48.100
 for having me.

01:18:48.580 --> 01:18:48.960
 Thank you.

01:18:48.960 --> 01:18:49.460
 Thank you.

01:18:49.460 --> 01:18:49.580
 Thank you.

01:18:49.580 --> 01:18:49.920
 Thank you.

01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:50.200
 Thank you.