[0:00] Go with me to Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4. Last week, we talked about the fact that we are to love one another.
[0:18] There are all kinds of one another's throughout the Bible. And we talked about loving one another and the importance of loving one another. Today, you can see behind me, if we're going to love one another, we need to be kind one to another.
[0:33] So we're going to talk about that today, being kind to one another. Look at me in Ephesians chapter 4, beginning at verse 25. Ephesians 4, 25. Wherefore, putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor.
[0:47] For we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon thy wrath. Neither give place to the devil. Excuse me. Let him that stole steal no more, but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
[1:06] Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. But that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
[1:18] Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you.
[1:34] You know, if you're watching TV at all lately, you know that it's campaign season. You know that there's all kinds between the TV commentators and pundits and the political people themselves.
[1:51] And you read newspapers or get your news online or you talk to other people, you see signs and things. It's campaign season.
[2:05] And it's not necessarily good. Matter of fact, Steve McKay yesterday, you know Steve McKay the wither man, he had a thing up online yesterday under his real name.
[2:16] And Bonnie used to be his teacher when he was in school, so she has him. And he put up a very good thing about the campaign season. He was talking about the signs in people's yards.
[2:29] And he was talking about some of the different ones that he had seen. And he says, you know, I have grandkids. They don't need to be seeing this stuff. They don't need to be asking questions about these.
[2:40] They don't need to know about some of the things that I see on people's lawns and people's yards. And he made a really good point about it. And, you know, I don't know if you've noticed or not.
[2:55] It's very subtle. But we live in an age of rage. In case you hadn't noticed. People are upset about everything and anything.
[3:07] And so we need to be careful. We see the demonstrations on TV and the protests and everything. And, you know, people can no longer just agree to disagree.
[3:19] I'm always reminded. I've always liked politics and everything. And I remember back when Ronald Reagan was president. And Tip O'Neill was the Speaker of the House.
[3:33] Two different parties. Two different views of the world. And yet, on a regular basis, they would have lunch together. They were friends. Totally different viewpoints politically.
[3:46] But they were friends. You don't see that today. You can't be friends with somebody who has a different viewpoint than you. Why? Sometimes I wonder what happened to kindness and everyday courtesy to people.
[4:06] You know, kindness is essential to strong relations. There was a study done back in 2003. 16,000 people from 37 different cultures were asked questions about what makes a good relationship.
[4:22] And one of the questions asked was, what is the most desirable quality in a spouse? Men and women both, the majority said kindness.
[4:35] To be kind to each other. You don't even see a lot of that these days. Where spouses are kind to one another. A lot of snide comments. A lot of sarcasm.
[4:46] A lot of, just be kind. Mark Twain once said, Kindness is a language that deaf people can hear and blind people can see.
[4:57] Think about that. It's something that deaf people can hear and blind people can see. People know when you're being kind to them. But today, there seems to be a conflict with kindness.
[5:12] Being kind seems to be hard today. You know, we don't see kindness in our society. And even in churches, people are not necessarily kind to each other sometimes.
[5:25] And part of the problem is, We don't know how to handle anger. There's a conflict with anger. Look at verse 26 again. Be angry and sin not.
[5:37] Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. There are instances where anger can be righteous anger. But how do you handle the anger? In John chapter 2.
[5:49] You don't have to turn there. I think I've got it behind me. John chapter 2, beginning at verse 14. It says, And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting.
[6:02] And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the money changers' money, and overthrew the tables, and said unto them that sold does, Take these things.
[6:18] Hence, make not my father's house a house of merchandise. Jesus got angry with what was going on in the house of the Lord.
[6:29] But can I tell you something? I know from reading those verses, he did not fly off in a rage. He did not just lose it. Because in verse 15 there, it said that he made a scourge of small cords.
[6:45] He took time to make that. He had time to think about what he was doing. He had time to make that, and let how exactly he was going to handle, kind of sink in.
[7:00] Do you know when you read through that, you don't hear after him going after any of the people? It says he drove out the cattle and the sheep. He flipped over their tables.
[7:11] But it never says he went after a person. He never went after a person there. There. He took time to think about how he was going to handle the anger that he had.
[7:24] And his anger was not at the people, even though they were the ones doing things. His anger was at the thing being done, not the people themselves.
[7:36] You know, a lot of times we forget that. His anger wanted him to uphold righteousness. But it had to be careful. He, in the next one, righteous indignation is directed toward a problem, not a person.
[7:54] It's directed toward a problem. If it's righteous anger, it's not a person. Matthew Henry, who is a commentator and pastor, he said this, if we would be angry and sin not, and not sin, we must be angry at nothing but sin.
[8:09] And we should be more jealous for the glory of God than for any interest or reputation of our own. He says, be angry at the sin.
[8:21] And he says, and whatever you do, make sure that the glory of God is upheld. So be careful. You know, sometimes we can get angry, and we can lose it, and we can, no, we don't want to take away from the glory of God.
[8:39] A lot of times when we get upset and we get angry, it usually causes us to do things we shouldn't. It's interesting. Have you ever noticed the word anger and the word danger?
[8:55] One letter difference. When we get angry and we lose control, there is a danger of all kinds of things happening that shouldn't.
[9:07] James chapter 1, verse 12, verse 19 and 20. James 1, 19 and 20. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.
[9:21] For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Be swift to hear. A lot of times we're not swift to hear.
[9:34] We're not listening to the things going on around us. We're not listening to what's being said. You know, one of the things that drives me crazy sometimes, you ever having a conversation with somebody?
[9:46] Steve and I are having a conversation. Okay? And then Charlotte comes in in the middle of our conversation. Here's a little snippet and she's got all kinds of things to say about it.
[9:59] Doesn't have a clue what we're talking about, but she's got an opinion. You ever run into people like that? He says, be swift to hear.
[10:10] Slow to speak. Be careful. When you're jumping in on things, be slow to wrath. Then he goes on, he says, for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
[10:24] Our goal is to bring glory to God in everything we do. Our goal is to make sure people are pointed to God in everything that we say and do. Everything has to go toward him.
[10:38] And he says, look, our wrath does not do that. There are people who have issues that go back 15, 20, 25, 30 years and you're still dwelling on it.
[10:52] You're having to bring up a certain topic, they'll tell you all about it from 30 years ago. He says, you know, the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
[11:04] Hanging on to those things does not help us at all. Anger makes us speak when we shouldn't. We're going to give somebody a piece of our minds. Most of us don't have enough to spare.
[11:18] So just, you know, be careful about that. Okay? We need to make sure that we're pointing to God's righteousness. Benjamin Franklin said, whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
[11:32] Sinful anger provokes thoughts that we shouldn't have. And anger conflicts with kindness.
[11:43] You can't be angry and be kind at the same time. It just doesn't work. And also, when we try to do things and we get angry and we allow that anger to set in, it hurts our testimonies.
[11:57] The corruption of our testimony is the next thing. Corruption of our testimony. The longer we hold our anger, the more we hurt our testimony. Again, look at verse 26.
[12:08] Be angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon thy wrath. Wrath. What is that? That's intense anger. That's rage. That's fury.
[12:20] That's getting so upset that we fly off the handle. We're looking to punish somebody. We're looking for vengeance on somebody. When we let anger seethe in us like that, it's going to damage.
[12:33] It's going to be dangerous. It's going to allow things to happen and things to be said that never should. He says, look, we need to be swift about resolving our anger.
[12:45] When we allow anger to continue, then we develop bitterness. When we allow bitterness to develop, we're going to hurt ourselves, our testimony, the people around us.
[12:59] We're going to hurt all kinds of people. Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God. Stop there. We can fail of the grace of God.
[13:12] Think about it for a second. What is the grace of God? Well, we use the old thing, God's riches at Christ's expense. I like it, God's redemption at Christ's expense.
[13:24] We hurt the testimony of Christ when we fail of the grace of God. We're hurting the testimony of Christ. And he goes on, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled.
[13:38] He says, you allow bitterness to come, it's hurting you, it's hurting the other person, it's hurting many around you. When people, when you're angry and stuff, the people know it.
[13:51] Do they see it? And it's hurting the people around you. He says, be so very careful. We can't let bitterness grow in our hearts. There was a husband and wife, they were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
[14:03] And a friend of theirs who had just gotten engaged asked them what was the one thing of advice that they would give about how to stay married for 50 years.
[14:15] And they said, well, we've always made it a practice. We never go to sleep angry with each other. Wow. Really? Then the wife piped in and said, yep, longest we've ever stayed awake was a week.
[14:32] Be careful. The Bible says, be careful. Do not give yourself over to anger. Then he says, in Ephesians chapter 4, he says, neither give place to the devil.
[14:48] Neither give place to the devil. When we hold in our anger, when we hold on to it, we're inviting the devil to come in. We're inviting him to take advantage of the uncontrolled thinking we have.
[15:01] We need to keep control of what's going on in our minds. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and lives and keep it under control. Neither give place, he says.
[15:14] That's don't give an opportunity or don't give the power for acting on what you see. Don't let the devil have an opportunity to act. The more we hold on to anger and things, the harder it gets to control it and the devil's going to come in and he's going to work on us something fierce.
[15:35] It gives him enough room to get in to ruin our testimony if we get angry. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 2, bitterness is one of the things that the devil uses.
[15:47] 2 Corinthians 2 beginning of verse 10. For whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also. For if I forgave anything to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ.
[16:03] Lest the devil should get an advantage of us for we are not ignorant of his devices. He says, if you forgive somebody, forgive them in the name of Jesus Christ.
[16:15] Think of what Jesus did for you. Jesus went to the cross for you. Jesus died for you. Jesus faced all that punishment before the cross for you.
[16:29] He says, look, think about what Christ did. I'm going to forgive you in the person of Christ. He says, we need to be so careful unless the devil get an advantage.
[16:45] Unless the devil get an advantage over us. We need to beware of how he uses things. The battle with the devil is a spiritual one. There's going to be resources that he's going to use to try to get us off track, to try to get us to go a different direction than what God wants us to.
[17:03] Anger is always going to be a conflict with kindness. So there's a conflict between anger and kindness. Second, there's a communication of kindness.
[17:16] A communication of kindness. Before we can communicate kindness, it's useful to understand what kindness is. Look at verse 29. It says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
[17:39] Edification is something we all need. Edification means to build up. It's something every Christian needs who knows God, who wants to walk with God.
[17:51] They want to give to others. They need to learn how to edify, to build people up. Charles Spurgeon said, no matter what good truths you have to teach, no one will thank you if you do not speak kindly.
[18:08] You ever have people yelling at you? How much do you remember about what they said? But somebody coming up to you and talking with you and saying, you know, can we talk about this?
[18:20] Can we do it? That you remember. That you will take to heart. The word minister, there in verse 29, he says, that we may minister grace unto the hearers, the last part of the verse.
[18:34] Minister is to give of oneself, to give a gift, to supply, and grace means good will and loving kindness. So he says, let you minister, give of your own, give of your supply, good will and loving kindness.
[18:52] That's what it means to edify. That's what it means to be kind, to give of yourself, to show good will and loving kindness.
[19:04] One of the things about this, it's not corrupt. It is not corrupt. He says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.
[19:18] Corrupt, what does that mean? Rotten, putrefied, unfit for use. That's what the word used there for corrupt means. He says, be careful what comes out of your mouth. All of you have probably worked in places.
[19:32] When I was growing up, when I was a teenager, while I was still in high school, I worked nights after school and worked Saturdays at the tannery in Hartland.
[19:43] There used to be a tannery here in Ellsworth. Came that close to moving to Ellsworth. My dad was a foreman at the tannery in Hartland. They wanted him to move over here and help with the tannery over here.
[19:54] We didn't. We stayed where we were. But, have you ever worked in a tannery? Been at the tannery? Nope. Okay. I did. Tanneries are not nice places.
[20:10] When you go in there, the people who are working there, they're rough. They're rough characters. My very first job in a tannery, just a side note here, my very first job in a tannery was going in on Saturdays cleaning up, what they call a pasting unit.
[20:28] They might have told us, but I don't remember if you were all here. They used to have these boards come through and they get sprayed with paste on them and they put the leather up on it and stretch it out and send it through and it would go into a dryer and it would dry in there and have it all laid out so they could pile it and stuff and ship it off to wherever.
[20:49] My job on Saturdays was to go in and clean that pasting unit. steam hose in one hand, spatula in the other.
[21:02] Heat that thing up, scrape off the paste. Heat that thing up, scrape off the paste. Where'd the steam go? Up. Oh, guess what?
[21:13] There's paste up there too. So I'm heating. Blop, blop, blop. And when I got done with that, they used to soften the leather by putting them in these big vats that would spin and it would soften them up.
[21:30] Well, when they did that, dust came off, stuff came off. So after cleaning the pasting unit, I would go and clean underneath those vats. I would go home and I'd be red and green and black and yellow and my mother would say, do not come in here with those clothes on.
[21:47] Take them off in the breezeway, then you can come in and we'll take care of them from there. It's a rough place to work. Nasty place to work.
[21:59] And people's language matched it. He says, look, no corrupt communication. Proceed out of your mouth. Be careful.
[22:11] What you say. How you say it. He says, show kindness one to another. The words that we say have a huge influence on people. How you say it has a huge influence on people.
[22:26] I'm into the modern stuff, texting and messaging and all that sort of stuff, but I hate doing it. You know why? I want to see your facial expression.
[22:38] I want to hear the inflection in your voice. I want to truly understand what you're trying to say. He says, be careful how you say things and how you do things.
[22:50] Proverbs 18, 21. Proverbs 18, 21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
[23:02] Death and life are in the power of the tongue. be so very careful how you say things and what you say. So, being kindness, showing kindness is not corrupt.
[23:14] It is edifying. It is edifying. The words should be good for others, should be uplifting, it should be an encouragement to them. Edifying means to build up or to strengthen.
[23:27] He says we're supposed to edify with our words. Build up or strengthen, help meet a person's needs, help give them benefit from kind words. The last part of verse 29 says, minister grace unto the hearers.
[23:42] Grace is that inner disposition of the Holy Spirit working in our hearts. We minister grace to others by our words and the things we say. Who's the best example of ministering with their words?
[23:57] Of course, Jesus. Luke chapter 4, verse 22. Jesus, has gone back to Nazareth. He's in his hometown. He's asked to speak at the synagogue that morning.
[24:09] And he does. He takes the scrolls. He reads from them. He speaks. And verse 22 of Luke 4 says, all bear him witness and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth.
[24:23] And they said, is not this Joseph's son? He's just a carpenter. How does he know how to speak like this? How does he know how to show that kind of love and kindness and compassion for people?
[24:37] We're supposed to edify. Supposed to build up. Again, don't give somebody a piece of your mind. How about instead of giving them, you know, a reaction is, somebody says something, and we're ready to let her fly.
[24:54] How about instead of giving them a piece of their mind, we show them words of grace? Show them what God would say to them, how he would answer them.
[25:08] When trying to minister to someone through kind words, that goes completely against our natural instinct, doesn't it? Somebody starts going, oh, we're ready to let it fly.
[25:20] No. Show them grace. He says there in the end of verse 29, minister grace unto the hearers, and grieve not. The Holy Spirit of God.
[25:33] Minister grace, grieve not. We're called to be gracious, not grievous. We're called to show the Holy Spirit. He's working up.
[25:43] You've heard me say this many times before, and I usually use Steve, so I'll use Steve again. That's why he gets for sitting in the front. If Jesus Christ lives in Steve, and Jesus Christ lives in me, how can I say things about him if I'm speaking the words the Holy Spirit's given to me to do?
[26:04] How can I say things that go against him and what he has because Christ lives in me and Christ lives in him? How can Christ be against Christ? We need to be so very careful that we follow the Holy Spirit's leading and not our own human sinful nature.
[26:22] Make sure you listen to what the Holy Spirit's telling you. We need to be careful of our actions and our words that they don't cause the Holy Spirit sorrow.
[26:33] Look at verse 31. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. I read that a rattlesnake, if it's cornered, can sometimes get so angry that it'll bite itself.
[26:54] Think about that for a second. then it will bite itself. It's going to put its own poison into itself. That's the way hate and resentment and bitterness and anger are.
[27:10] We get so that it comes back against us. You ever notice when you get really angry and bitter with somebody, especially if it's been one of those long ones, 25 or 30 years, they don't even remember what happened.
[27:23] the only person that's hurting is you. They've forgotten all about it. Be so very careful that we don't destroy ourselves because when we allow that anger to go in deep, it's going to wind up having consequences we never anticipated.
[27:44] He says, grieve not the spirit. Both you're at work and you're angry and everybody in the office knows you're angry.
[27:57] What does that do to the testimony of Christ? How does that reflect on him? How are they going to know that we are Christians? Can our poor attitude be keeping someone from knowing Christ?
[28:15] Characteristics of Kindness. Characteristics of Kindness. In verse 32 it says this, and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
[28:33] Kind means virtuous, benevolent, mild. We as Christians need to demonstrate kindness so that others can see the light of Christ in us.
[28:47] By the way we handle things, by the things that we say, is Jesus Christ living in me? Kindness, first of all, is gentle. It is gentle.
[28:59] 1 Corinthians 13, 4 says, charity suffereth long and is kind. Charity envieth not, charity voneth not itself is not puffed up.
[29:11] Chapter 13, you know, is the love chapter. So as we face that love chapter and we look through that love chapter, what is he saying? Love suffereth long and is kind.
[29:24] We say we truly love people. You know, I love you, you know, I almost went with a Barney thong. You know, I love you, you love me. we love it's going to be kind.
[29:39] It's not puffed up, doesn't vaunt itself. Titus 3, 2 to speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meekness unto all men.
[29:53] He says, you don't speak evil, you show meekness to the people around you. Many people see gentleness as a weakness. Think on how much more strength it takes to be kind sometimes, to be gentle sometimes.
[30:12] It takes so much more. 1 Peter 3, 8, Finally, be all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
[30:24] Look at that verse. All of the same mind. First of all, we should all be of the same mind. We should all have that desire to be Christ-like in everything we do.
[30:37] Then it says, love as brethren. You weren't here this morning for Sunday school. We talked about that. Jesus Christ calls us brothers and sisters.
[30:52] We're supposed to demonstrate to others that we're part of the family of God. He says, be courteous. Proverbs 25 11. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver.
[31:08] Think about that statement for a second. Apples of gold in pitchers of silver. Think first of all, gold and silver.
[31:20] How much is this picture worth? And then, the fact that there's apples in pitchers of silver.
[31:31] The beauty of what's there. It is worth a whole lot and it shows the beauty of Christ when we say the right words, when we give the right words.
[31:44] I don't think I put this quote up on my thing. I think I forgot it. William Ward, who was a preacher, said this, flatter me and I may not believe you. Criticize me and I may not like you.
[31:57] Ignore me and I may not forgive you. Encourage me and I will not forget you. Let me read that again. Flatter me and I may not believe you.
[32:11] Criticize me, I may not like you. Ignore me, I may not forgive you. Encourage me and I will not forget you. We need to go around encouraging one another, lifting one another up, helping one another.
[32:25] How many people around you could benefit from a word of encouragement? How many people around you could benefit from a nice word given to them, to lift them up?
[32:38] Kindness is gentle. Kindness is also compassionate. Compassionate. He says there in that verse, to be tenderhearted, to have inward compassion, to be sympathetic.
[32:50] empathetic. It's easy to get irritated with people, isn't it? But he says, look, show Christ-like compassion to them.
[33:03] You ever consider what the other person is going through? So often we forget. Maybe somebody is going through marriage problems.
[33:14] Maybe they have some real difficulties taking place. Show them kindness. give them a word of encouragement. Maybe somebody is going through a medical issue and they just got a bad diagnosis about something.
[33:28] Give them compassion. Give them a word of encouragement. You may not know what they're going through. You may not know that they have a marital issue. You may not know that they have a medical issue, but everybody can use encouragement in life.
[33:43] Show them that. Are you a tenderhearted person? I don't necessarily consider myself a tenderhearted person. My wife is. I'm not necessarily that.
[33:54] She demonstrates it a lot more. Let's put it that way. I may be tenderhearted, but I don't demonstrate it like she does. But I try to be tenderhearted. I try to be a help to people and to listen and to give encouragement.
[34:07] Compassion. How do you show compassion? Well, I can give encouraging words. Okay, action. By giving an encouraging word, I'm doing an action.
[34:22] I hate when people say, we're sending you good thoughts. What does that mean? I'm praying for you. That's an action. I'm holding you up before the Lord.
[34:35] That's an action. Showing action and helping people. You know, if you're with us on Sunday morning in Sunday school, we're going through Hebrews and we're talking about the fact that the Hebrews were facing a lot of danger, a lot of persecution, a lot of anger.
[34:59] And so they're going through things, they're being persecuted. What was their action to all of that? Hebrews chapter 10 verse 34 says, for ye had compassion on me in my bonds and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance.
[35:23] They gave to help Paul. They're facing persecution. They're facing all kinds of things. They're facing things that they're afraid of. And what did they do?
[35:34] They took up an offering to help Paul in his ministry. They gave. There was an action that took place there. Kindness is gentle.
[35:45] It's compassionate. We need to show that in our everyday lives. We need to show that to people who come in contact. We need to say, look, we're kind one to another.
[36:01] And the things that we do, the things that we say, like I said in the beginning, there's a lot of anger in our world. You know the solution to all of that anger?
[36:12] It's really simple. We show kindness. Show kindness to those that are around you. Give them words of compassion, words of encouragement.
[36:25] Kindest person on earth is Jesus Christ. And you look at his life as you go through the Gospels and what do you see? He healed the blind and sick.
[36:37] He fed the hungry. He was wounded for our transgressions. Romans 5 8 says, he commended his love toward us and while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
[36:50] You talk about showing kindness, showing compassion. We're sinners, bound for hell, want nothing to do with God, care less about God and Jesus Christ came and gave his life for us.
[37:01] kindness. That's kindness. You know, knowing Jesus Christ as Savior changes everything.
[37:14] Knowing Jesus Christ, that he did go to that cross for us, that he did give his life for us, that he did rise from the dead and is now sitting at the right hand of the Father should make all the difference in the world to us.
[37:27] And when it comes to what people do to us and how they treat us, you know what? I can be like Jesus. I can show kindness. I can show love.
[37:38] I can show encouragement. I can show whatever is needed to give to those in need. He bestowed it on us. We need to show it to others.
[37:51] Jesus lives in you. Jesus lives in me. Show it to the world out there. Show them kindness. in the midst of everything that's going on.
[38:04] Show them kindness. Take your hymn book this morning. Go with me to page 513. In.