[0:00] Okay. One of my philosophies on doing lessons is I like to pick things that get kind of overlooked.
[0:21] ! And, you know, things that don't get talked about too often.! And today I decided to talk about relationships. But not your usual type of relationship.
[0:36] Past Steve here, back along, did a relationship between believers, you know, like being forgiving of one another. I've heard lots of sermons on like marriage and different things like that.
[0:49] One thing I have not seen a lot of is relationships between believers and unbelievers outside of like giving them the gospel.
[1:02] So what are some ways that some of the things that we have to keep in mind when we have build relationships and friendships with unbelievers?
[1:13] And I just pray that they'll be able to gain something from it and it can be a blessing to their lives.
[1:50] And all this I pray in Jesus name. Amen. Okay. Okay. What are some scriptures that come to mind when you think of like relationships?
[2:02] Love one another. Love one another. Love one another. Yeah. Any others? Be your kind. Yeah. Those are some of the good ones. Be your kind.
[2:13] Yeah. Those are some of the good ones. So the scripture that is going to be like the overarching one for this. And I'm going to be talking about two different areas.
[2:25] And the second one is going to have split into two. But the overarching scripture for today's lesson, turn to Amos 3.3.
[2:36] Some of you are going Amos.
[2:51] It's in that whole section with all the guys with the funny names called the minor prophets. Might be a little stiff because you don't turn there very often. My last church, the pastor liked his one there in that area was Habakkuk.
[3:11] He just liked saying the name. Amos 3.3. Can two walk together except they be agreed? And I thought that was perfect because it does not matter what the relationship is.
[3:30] If you walk with somebody, you have to be agreed. You don't have to believe the same things. You don't have to be the same, but you have to be agreed. So the first one we're going to look at today is professional relationships.
[3:46] If you're going to go into business with somebody, work with somebody, you have to have agreement on how you do things. One of the things when I was looking up this, the Bible talks a little bit, but not a lot about business practices.
[4:05] In Leviticus 19.36, it talks about, use a just balance, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hen.
[4:20] Those are all measurements. Shall you have? I am the Lord your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt. Therefore, shall you serve all my statutes and all my judgments and do them? I am the Lord.
[4:31] It talks about, when I looked up, it talks about just balances and just weights six times in the Old Testament. Pastor Steve's talked about, God mentions things over and over and over again.
[4:45] It's probably something we should pay attention to. And at least three of those times, it also uses the word abomination in there. Diverse weights are an abomination under the Lord.
[4:58] A few years ago, when I was at EMCC studying auto tech, we had a Christian fellowship over there. And my second year, we as a group, some of us took a trip down to Boston.
[5:13] They had a exhibit, a traveling exhibit, and it was the Dead Sea Scrolls. It was very cool. I didn't think it was that cool because, okay, a whole bunch of old parchments, language I couldn't read.
[5:29] Okay. But what I did like is, as you were walking to the room where the Dead Sea Scrolls were, they started about 2500 BC, and then all the way around to Roman period, or about the period when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written, they had different artifacts for different time periods.
[5:50] So you walked through kind of like history with different artifacts. And one of the very first things, I wish I had taken a picture of them, but I didn't, was they had a set of weights that you would have used when you were conducting trade.
[6:04] If you were to go like into Genesis and look up where it talks about like Abraham bought the cave to bury his dead. It said he weighed out however many talents of silver. They would have had a balance scale.
[6:16] They'd put a weight in one side. It's like, okay, I need 20 talents. Well, they would put a 20-talent weight in, and then they'd just keep putting the money in, or chunks of silver or whatever, until it balanced.
[6:30] So what I was talking about here, use a just balances and just weight. You could adjust that scale to either favor you in one way or the other, whether you're purchasing or being purchased from, or you can use a different weight.
[6:49] So like if somebody's purchasing from you, you could use a heavier weight, and they had to use more money to purchase, or if you're purchasing, you could use a lighter weight. So that was kind of cool.
[7:01] So basically what it is is when you're in business with an unbeliever, you need to be agreed on, okay, how are we going to do business?
[7:12] Because they reflect you. In Luke 3.12, this will probably be familiar to some of you. No, 1 Timothy 3.1.
[7:34] So 1 Timothy 3.1-8, this passage is familiar a lot of you. It talks about bishops, elders, deacons.
[7:46] It talks about their bishop must be blameless. Then you go a little further, and it talks about deacons, not greedy of filthy lucre, so not greedy after money.
[7:59] It also talks about them having a good reputation without. So with a professional relationship with an unbeliever, you two have to be agreed.
[8:11] They have to have a professional conduct that is also going to reflect positively on you. Because the world really likes to really hold you guilty by association.
[8:27] So yeah, you have to watch who you walk with.
[8:44] The Luke 3.12, going back to about what the Bible says about business practices, this is where people were coming to John the Baptist. And then it says, then also came publicans to be baptized and said unto him, Master, what shall we do?
[9:00] And he said unto them, exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, and what shall we do? And he said unto them, do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely, and be content with your wages.
[9:15] One of the things they didn't like about the years of the light center bike about publicans, aside from the fact they're collecting taxes for foreign power, they would, the Bible talks about they would exact more than what they were supposed to.
[9:28] And it says here, he said unto them, exact no more than that which is appointed to you. I'm sure the Romans says like, okay, this is what we want for taxes. Here's your cut.
[9:41] Here's your portion. Probably some sort of like a fee to collect them. Be content with what you're supposed to have. So yeah, so if you're going to be in business with a non-believer, you both have to agree how you're going to do business.
[9:57] So this one is a little bit shorter, because with a business professional relationship, the influence on you is a little smaller, because it's business, not friendship so much.
[10:13] But it can turn into a friendship. And so that we're, now we're going to go to the second part, which is, and this is going to have two subparts, personal relationships. So for personal relationships, turn to James 4.4.
[10:35] This whole article is talking about the give and take situation? Well, no, it's... Well, what... I'm not saying, you know...
[10:49] Yeah, and what they were talking about in Leviticus and all the other ones, God says, in your buying and your purchasing, be fair. Don't, you know, the old saying, you know, people joke about, get your thumb off the scale.
[11:04] He says, do it fairly. Use a just scale, one that's not perverted. Use just weights so you're not using... And then if I were to go to other passages, it talks about diverse weights.
[11:16] And that's what I was talking about, like, if you use one weight when you're buying, that's like a little heavier than when it's supposed to be. Or if somebody's buying off of you, use one that's a little wider. It's like, no.
[11:27] Use a just weight. So the weight, you only use one weight, number one. So whether you're buying or somebody's buying off of you, it's all the same. And you're doing a fair compensation.
[11:39] So if somebody's buying something and they say, and you say, oh, this is 10 talents, you're using a 10-talent weight. Yeah. So that's what I'm pointing.
[11:53] Because unbelievers, and I could go, I have six different passages on that. Unbelievers are the ones that are going to want to use a diverse weight.
[12:05] And, okay, I'll use a personal story. You've hauled scrap cars like I have. Back when my father and I were doing it, up at Bangor, we noticed one day there was a rule posted.
[12:17] Driver only in vehicle. And for those of you that never haul like something to the junkyard, how it works is you drive in, you drive across the scales, they take your weight, you go in, you unload, you drive across scales coming out.
[12:31] And the difference between those two weights is what you get paid. They had to institute a rule that only one person in the vehicle, the driver.
[12:42] Why? Guys were coming in, two of them in the vehicle or three. The others would get out and walk out. So they were getting paid.
[12:53] Their weight was getting added to the difference. That's the point I was making in with the just weights is God tells us to do this. Make sure who you're partnered with is also conducting themselves in a just manner.
[13:12] Thank you. That was the point I was trying to make. Is, yeah, make sure, that's why I used Amos. Can two walk together except to be agreed? So if you are partnering with somebody, you have to be agreed on how you do business.
[13:28] Does that answer your question? No, I'll take the lead, but that's all right. Okay. Is that what's the specific answer? Four-four.
[13:39] I apologize, but what was your personal? Your relations? Personal. Oh, professional. And now we're moving on to personal. Yeah, professional, I just wanted to touch on that one.
[13:51] That one, like I said, is a little bit of a, and most of you, that's not going to apply because you work for a company. You're not like in business with people. The only thing you would have to do is like if you go to work for a company, you have to make sure what that company stands for does not reflect poorly on you.
[14:09] Margaret? I think the difference between a believer and an unbeliever. If you're a believer and you have a business, you're going to treat the unbeliever the same way you do with your customers.
[14:22] Right. And you're going to accept more things than a non-believer in your same profession.
[14:35] Yeah. If somebody will bring their car in and you agree on a price to repair an exhaust system, well then they come back and say, well my tires need to be changed or this needs to be done.
[14:46] Yeah. And then when you present the bill, they said, oh we agreed on this price without thinking about everything they added. Or you brought up car repair, that's another good one.
[14:57] Or what if somebody brings in a car, and I've seen this a lot, people will go to a place like, yeah, you need brakes. They don't need brakes. Or they need tires. You don't need tires.
[15:08] So that's another one. It's like, yeah, that's why I say, you know, and I touch on that one lightly, but it's just like, if you're going to be in business with somebody or if you're going to work for somebody, you need to make sure the way they conduct themselves is not making you look bad.
[15:25] So now on to personal. And this personal, this is going to tie back into professional, so like what you were talking about. Because yeah, the other thing like what you were just talking about, like doing stuff, there's also the verse, whatsoever you do, do as unto the Lord.
[15:41] And we're going to see, as I touch on the personal, that that's going to tie back in with the professional of how the unbelievers conduct themselves in everything they do. So in James 4.4, so under personal, this, I said, there's going to be two sub points.
[16:00] This one is going to be friends. So we're going to keep in notes. So under personal, we're going to have two sub points. First one being friends. In James 4.4, ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that friendship of the world is enmity with God.
[16:17] Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Okay, anybody want to give me the definition of friend or friendship?
[16:30] Somebody who's bad to help humans to ask to help, and somebody who you've enjoyed spending time with.
[16:58] Yeah, that's one part of it. Somebody that you're not afraid to take and tell them the truth, even though it's hard. That's good, and you're also touching into some of the points I want to make.
[17:12] Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines friend as one attached to another by affection or esteem, like what Fred was talking about with Margaret. Yep, a wife should be your friend or spouse.
[17:26] Then, of course, also one is not hostile, so it's like the opposite of somebody who's like an enemy. Favorite companion.
[17:39] So that's what I wanted to get at is like when, you know, talking about like unbelievers. Need to use the term friend with an unbeliever carefully.
[17:52] Because that's what I see is Christians will be friends with unbelievers, and yes, you need to build a relationship. Like I talk about, you know, we need to have a relationship with unbelievers in order to give them the gospel.
[18:06] But that relationship needs guards in place. And, you know, you talk about like, you know, going, you know, being able to tell some of the truth. Yeah, that's part of like, you know, being able to have enough relationship to tell them like you're a sinner on your way to hell and you need Jesus.
[18:21] I'm just, like, Kathy talking about like helping those. I've got three guys in my life that I would call friends, but they all revolve around, I was going to say one thing, but two things.
[18:37] Two of them shared interest in vehicles, and the other one we go hunting together. And, yeah, I call them friends, but I have boundaries in place.
[18:53] Those boundaries are, I don't talk to them about personal things. I'll give you an example, kind of off color, but that shows the example.
[19:06] A friend of mine, he lives over in Otis. We do stuff with vehicles. I was going with him one time to, I think, pick up a vehicle. And we stopped into the Otis store to grab some sodas, and I'm just sitting there, you know, probably looking at my phone or whatever, and he kind of pokes me, and I'm like, what?
[19:22] He says, look at that. Summer in Maine. Women rocking around half dressed. This girl probably, her shorts, I don't think could have made a ball cap for me to cover my head.
[19:35] And he's like, yeah, look at that. And I turned to him, I says, I thought you were married. Because I am. I can look. I can't touch. Matthew 5, 28.
[19:47] Even if you so much as look on a woman with lust, you've already committed adultery with her in your heart. So that's just showing, like, you have to be careful because unbelievers don't follow the same rules as us.
[20:07] So, turn to, and I did not, a second.
[20:20] I did not write the book down.
[20:37] I did not write the book down. I know that really is important. You definitely make that distinction. I can be very, very, very, very. I can understand that the covenant of this lust, but you can't go into the right of the blind stupid.
[20:56] No, but you have to have guards. But the point I was making is the, they don't see anything wrong with that. Romans 8, 1 through 8, if you want to turn there.
[21:10] No, the point I was making with that story is why you have to be careful confiding in or sharing your feelings with an unbeliever if you are friends is because they don't view the world the same way we do.
[21:26] That's why I pointed out, he's like, oh yeah, I can look, can't touch. But Jesus pointed out, he's like, even if you're looking and thinking about it, it's the same as doing it. Hmm?
[21:38] That's a Jimmy Carter statement. Yeah, but, it's true. And Jesus saying that statement to, you know, the Pharisees like, oh yeah, we have not done this.
[21:51] Like, well, if you did, you didn't even think about it, you're guilty of it. Romans 8, 1 through 8. There is therefore no longer condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
[22:05] For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh.
[22:22] That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh, they that are after the flesh, do mind the things of the flesh.
[22:35] For they that are after the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
[22:53] So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. So that's the point I kind of make with that story is being careful of having a friendship with an unbeliever is to the point of you're confiding in them with your problems that you're facing because they're still under the flesh.
[23:15] They don't have the flesh. They don't have the law of God in their life. So they can't, they can't help you. And if that's anything, they will probably steer you away. Margaret.
[23:26] Well, just as the mustard seed of faith, there can be a mustard seed of evil. So sometimes, not like you were strong who said that's wrong or bad, but a weaker Christian might say, oh yeah, and that little pitty seed might grow in their heart and develop.
[23:45] Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, you need to have a relationship with unbelievers to the extent of you need to build a relationship with them to help bring them to the gospel.
[23:56] So best example is from Jesus. Jesus, you know, he had dinner with publicans and other ones that the Pharisees would have nothing to do with.
[24:09] But the point I like with that verse is if you go back and read it, he had dinner with them in their house. He did not invite them into, well, Jesus didn't have a house because he says, you know, the Son of Man had no place where to lay his head.
[24:27] But he didn't invite them to Garden of Gethsemane. He didn't invite them to go along with him to Mary and Martha's house. He had his inner circle of people he trusted.
[24:39] So if you want to turn to.
[24:53] Let me see. Second Corinthians 614.
[25:13] This is going to be very familiar to a lot of you. I've usually heard this verse or passage in reference to marriage, but I think it also really applies to friendship.
[25:30] Second Corinthians 614. Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness and what concord hath Christ with Belial or what part hath he that believeth with with an infidel and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols.
[25:58] For ye are the temple of the living God. As God has said, I dwell, I will dwell with them and walk with them and I will be their God and they shall be my people. So somebody give me the definition of fellowship.
[26:13] Yeah, that's one definition.
[26:26] Instead of being a fellow associate, they'll talk about that like with professional circles, you know.
[26:38] Well, like I worked on the lab that's what they sometimes call it, you know, you're entering into like a fellowship. But it also talks about in the Bible, talks about like the act of breaking bread.
[26:51] And a certain amount of intimacy. That's why I point out like Jesus went to sinners, but he went to them on their turf. What's the second part of that?
[27:04] What communion hath light with darkness? Okay, we know communion as Lord's Supper, the breaking of bread.
[27:18] Under Merriam-Webbs' dictionary for definition for communion, intimate fellowship or Rappaport.
[27:32] So, again, it's like we should not be, have that certain level of intimacy with unbelievers.
[27:44] Because again, like with the prior passage, they are not following the same rules that we follow. And going, you know, going back to relationship advice, and back to my story there, my friend.
[27:59] If I talk to him, you know, I'm a single guy. What kind of advice am I going to get from him for, you know, if I'm trying to date? Yeah, the world is all about appearances.
[28:18] What does the Bible say how we're supposed to judge people? Well, for women, 1 Timothy 2, 9, and 10.
[28:34] In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly array, but which becometh woman professing godliness with good works.
[28:50] So, that means you wear the burka? Yes. Not necessarily. Although I could see where they could take it that direction.
[29:07] No, usually the ones that... I guess I'm not... I guess I remember to work with teenage girls a lot in this conversation. It wouldn't happen. It's like dressing for God.
[29:18] You want everything to indicate your faith. No other body type. Right. Well, the modest apparel, I could look at the definition and stuff, but...
[29:29] I saw... I watched a video of a guy who was commenting on this. It's not saying... It does say not with this, but it's saying that you shouldn't necessarily ever not wear jewelry or this and this.
[29:48] It's like you're saying, you know, you need to have your godliness or the spirit of God. That needs to be your true beauty. Going back to it, the world looks on the outward.
[30:02] Make sure you concentrate on the inward first. The outward won't matter so much. I was talking to Pastor Steve earlier. You know, we're supposed to look on the inward, you know, any of the sermons like on marriage and dating, you know, the first thing I was like, oh yeah, only date believers, only marry a believer.
[30:23] I told him, I was like, yeah, so, yeah, you got to look at the inward qualities of a woman. Whether she has a Holy Spirit in her. I told him, I was like, well, now this day and age is one more quality I look for in a woman.
[30:36] I have to look inward, make sure she has two X chromosomes. So, yeah, and then, you know, if you... I also have written down here in 1 Samuel 16.
[30:50] You don't have to turn there, but that passage is when Samuel annoys David. And it talks about if you read, that's only the part with David, but if you read the whole passage, it's like he's going down through all of Jesse's sons and God says, no, not that one, not that one, not that one, not that one.
[31:09] No. You're looking on, you know, big, tall, strapping guys. You're looking on outward appearance. You're looking at the man's sons. No, no. Look at him like I look at him.
[31:20] He gets to David. Well, he doesn't get to David. He's like, oh, is this all of them? He's like, oh, no, we got one more out in the field. And it brings him in and it gives a description of his appearance and it...
[31:39] I got thinking about it. I did a little studying on it. But the Lord said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance or on the height of his stature, because I have refused him.
[31:50] For the Lord seeth not as man seeth, for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. And if you, in verse...
[32:05] I'm trying to think. In verse 12, and he sent and brought him in. This is David. Now, he was ruddy and with all of beautiful countenance and good league to look to.
[32:21] Now, the definition there for ruddy, it says, see Esau. Now, if you go look up the description of Esau, Esau was a hairy man. And with all definition of that, in spite of, besides, or except.
[32:43] So, in spite of a beautiful countenance and good league to look upon. Anybody familiar with Michelangelo's David sculpture?
[32:55] He's naked, isn't he? He's naked, but he's also, if you look at like his face and stuff, he depicts him as this like handsome guy. And the description here of David was not particularly handsome.
[33:10] So, yeah, so men, young men, most of you guys here, you know, Garrett's already engaged and stuff. And for those of you that have, you know, sons, daughters, granddaughters, grandsons.
[33:25] Keep these things in mind that when they are hanging out with their people and they look for relationship advice, don't listen to the world. The world is... Margaret.
[33:36] All of my grandchildren are not letting go of a friend and I stand, so they don't even bother us. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. And yeah, I had that written down at one point there.
[33:47] It talks about the elder women training the younger women and... It doesn't mention the men. I know this was interesting. It just said the women training the younger women.
[33:58] After the time of the 17th, the women are the Holy Spirit. Yeah. Yeah. But the... But yeah, the world, if you don't teach them what the Bible says about how to search for a spouse, how to search for a girlfriend, boyfriend, how to do those things, they will teach them their version.
[34:21] And look at how the world has perverted love. We're coming off of Pride Month. Look at how bad the world has perverted God's institution.
[34:35] So I'm going to... It's almost quarter past. I'm going to stop there. I was just going to say, anybody's got any questions? I was looking for the passage about women speaking with women and men with men.
[34:49] And I was going to go to one. And it sounds like when that action actually takes place, that those people are basically already lost unless they turn themselves around.
[35:05] Hmm. Well, I don't think anybody's ever truly lost... They've turned their back on God. Well, actually, because unless you are saved, as the Bible says, you know, like John 3, 16, you know, whosoever believeth.
[35:23] But then you go to seven, if you believe you're...if you believe it's not, you're condemned already. So if you don't believe in God, you're already condemned, you're already dead, you're already on your way to hell.
[35:40] So it does not matter what you do. The only difference then is not with God, but with man. But you brought that up.
[35:52] So, and I cut this a little bit short because I didn't want to dive too much into like marriage and everything else. But my...something I came across because of Pride Month and seeing different comments, oh, you know, God is love and this and that and everything else.
[36:09] And people try to justify, not...some people try to justify, some people try to fight and you use all these different verses. But here is one that I think...I was talking to Pastor Steve about this.
[36:21] Matthew 19, if you want to turn there. 19... Let's see.
[36:38] Well, verse 4, but it's basically the beginning of 19. And in verse 4, the Pharisees are testing him about divorce. And I like what Jesus said about marriage.
[36:50] And in verse 4, and he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this cause shall man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.
[37:07] Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. Where therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. So you're talking about, you know, women with women, men with men.
[37:19] And I got to talk about past Eve. Now we've got the added one is with transgenders. That's why I made the joke about, you know, also looking for the Holy Spirit in a woman.
[37:30] I also have to look for two X chromosomes. I like what Jesus said because, have ye not read Genesis, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?
[37:45] God made male and female, and they are supposed to get married. Not man made a man into a female or female into a man.
[37:56] What God made you is what you are supposed to be, and that is what's supposed to get married.
[38:09] So, any other questions? Okay. Heavenly Father, I want to thank you for this time that we could have a lesson together.
[38:21] Father, I just pray that you bless our time of fellowship. These words that, in this message that I've tried to deliver from your word, you say your word will not return void. So, Father, I just pray that this can be a blessing to those that are here.
[38:35] I want to pray for Jared as he falls a little later, that you will bless his message as well. And watch over us as we each head our own way. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.