Verse by Verse Matthew 19:1-15

[0:00] Galilee and came into the coast of Judea beyond Jordan and great multitudes followed him and he healed them there. So he's in Galilee that's up north and now he's traveling south pretty far south to get from Galilee to Judea but beyond Jordan so he heads even east and goes into what is not the traditional land of Israel but it'd be part of that land that was given to those two and a half tribes before they came in and Joshua's day and conquered and so he's beyond Jordan in the coast of Judea and great multitudes followed him and healed them there so same operating procedure going on here healing folks signs are still going on and proof that he's the Messiah and just kingdom of heaven operation still as normal and now in verse 3 the Pharisees also came unto him so the Pharisees are crossing over Jordan as well coming to him and I guess I mean they're not just hanging out in Jerusalem they're not just staying put where they have their little holy huddle and their kingdom and what they you know everybody following them and they're connected to the Roman authority and that government and they have a place with them they're going out across Jordan to find out I guess maybe either just being nosy or probably more so being afraid of what's actually happening and how big of a following he has and what he's saying and what's going on and so they're showing up too and where the work of the Lord is you can count on it there's going to be false ministers or the devil's children he said you're of your father the devil they're going to show up too and try to cause some problems and so in verse 3 the Pharisees came also came unto him tempting him and saying unto him is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause so they ask a question but the scripture lets us know and Jesus Christ knows they're not seeking an answer at all they're just trying to ask a question to stir something up or to call it catch him in a trap or whatever the case is they've done this all through his ministry and so they're not looking for the truth as a matter of fact he's going to answer their question they're just going to follow it up with another question in verse number three they tempt him asking this question is it lawful is it lawful now that's the law of Moses they're referring to the um Genesis Exodus of Idigas Numbers Deuteronomy the writing the books of Moses is it lawful under the law for a man to put away his wife for every cause now this is just typical hypocrites that will ignore what he's doing he's healing multitudes following him and they're going to ask a question about the law they're going to try to ask this like something with the finer points of the law they're they're not here to partake or be part of what is going on the working of God they're going to ignore the supernatural things so that they can argue and debate and see if they can outwit him and that's a good sign that's a mark of a Pharisee is they're not going to be interested in what the Lord's actually doing and what's happening they're going to have something to say that try you ever been around person like that where something's good going on you're feeling good about it feels like the Lord's working and then somebody has something some Bible question or some Bible thought that's just a little off topic but it's a little out of it shows that's in their heart they're trying to work something here or get around the work of God and they're not going to submit to it and it's it's around a day it's still around a day and so they want to know is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause so every cause meaning anything at all anything at all is it lawful because Moses made provisions within the law he used the word hate if he hate her he put her away and it was pretty broad even back in the law in Deuteronomy let me let me see if I

[4:06] can I didn't have that written down I think I know it's in Deuteronomy I want to say 24 yeah but look at Deuteronomy 24 this is the wording of the law this is just one of the passages but this will be good enough Deuteronomy 24 verse 1 the Mosaic law in relation to putting away or the modern word is divorce when a man hath taken a wife and married her and to come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes that's pretty broad isn't it doesn't say she was unfaithful to him doesn't say that she didn't keep up her end of the deal or says no favor in his eyes okay that's pretty broad because he had found some uncleanness in her so she's guilty of something then he then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house and it goes on from there there's other passages but that's that's enough of a start there now they want to know is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause and Christ has an answer what Christ does in his answer was he takes them back to the beginning takes them beyond the law of Moses to God creating man in Genesis and what God's institution for marriage is so Matthew chapter 19 and verse 4 and he answered and said unto them have you not read I gotta say I love it when Christ points them to the scripture and says don't you know your Bible you Pharisees have you not this isn't the first time we saw this several times earlier in the book when he confronted them or they confronted him have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh have you you didn't read that and his statement then in verse 6 is wherefore they are no more twain they're no more two separate individuals but one flesh what therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder there's a couple things to draw out of here and first of all this is God's intention for marriage I don't think

[6:45] I need to comment on the one man and one woman deal in verse number 4 but it's a great passage if you need to deal with somebody about that that's what the Bible says he made them male and female and that's the ones God joined together and in verse number 5 he tells them that they're one flesh they're joined together in marriage this is the original institution the original one it predates the family it predates the church I should say it's the marriage you know what predates the marriage though just in case you're not sure the relationship with God Adam and God he was the son of God when he created him Luke says and so before the woman ever came into the picture it was man and God in a relationship and then he brought man into a relationship with a woman and then on and on it goes but priorities are pretty important and you start where God starts so anyway they they're no more twain he said in verse 6 but one flesh what therefore God has joined together let not man put asunder

[7:51] Jesus Christ gives God credit for creation talking about the beginning making them at the beginning he's he was a creationist he believed that man was created didn't evolve he's believes that God's the designer of marriage and that it's an institution that was the original one and that divorce and putting away the spouse was never part of God's plan never part of it some say in verse number six when Christ says what therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder some say this that divorce is not ever valid it's never valid in God's eyes because God joined them together and so whatever God joins man can't separate that's the some people's teaching on it and I don't believe that at one minute I believe man can put it asunder it's not right but when Jesus Christ says let not man put asunder he sure is implying that man can put it asunder or break it apart he certainly is and man has done that against

[8:55] God's will so what God what therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder but he's doing it at a alarming rate so that just brings up another question then in verse number seven they say unto him why did Moses send command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away like Moses commanded that they do this this wasn't really a command as much as it was an allowance and Jesus Christ even words it that way in his answer verse eight he saith unto them Moses because of the hardest of your hearts suffered you or allowed not commanded you see the difference in the wording how they're like Moses commanded us to do this he's like no he made allowance for you why because you're wicked that's why you're guilty because of the hardness of your heart suffered you to put away your wives but from the beginning it was not so in other words from the beginning God didn't make allowances for this he didn't suffer man and woman to separate and to divorce but Moses then did later on why well because you're sinners because you're proud the word hardness of heart implies stubbornness and pride and another Bible word is stiff neck refusing to bow refusing to bend refusing to give in and that's it that's why there's divorces that's why they were back then that's why there are today it's not because there's just some unfavor in my eyes it was because somebody won't yield to the other because somebody won't love unconditionally and sacrifice themselves and really won't give in marriages end at a terrible rate today and they don't need to but they do because of fighting instead of forgiving because of stubbornness and pride instead of compromise and compromise is a bad word for the church as far as the truth goes but it's a great word for marriage one thing i learned early on in marriage was that i married a human being another person a completely separate person from me i learned that my wife is not me she doesn't think like me she doesn't process information or situation things nothing like me we're totally distinct individuals i learned that early i didn't know that i knew it but i didn't know it at all had no experience like that i found out right away we are different and it doesn't make me right and her wrong it means we are different and in order for us to dwell together in unity then one or both of us is going to have to change or give in or lighten up on the way we perceive or feel or think things have to be it's compromise and it's healthy for a marriage it's it's so much better to dwell in harmony than it is to get your own way all the time and make the other one eat it hardness of heart jesus christ said it leads to divorce in marriage counseling there's three three main reasons why are the top three problems this is like universal for all marriages or marriage problems the top three it's not saying it's the only three but it's the top three every single time for problems in a marriage number one is money money it's a problem not for everybody but the number one problem in people's marriages is money and finances you know what that shows it shows that there's two different people with two different thoughts about how this particular thing ought to be how are you going to maintain a happy marriage when there's problems with money it's going to take some you can't be full of pride you can't be willing to fight every weekend there's going to have to be some compromise and some talking things out and some figuring things out

[12:55] and some coming to middle ground number two is sex of the top three problems their intimacy is something that is a problem and then number three is family family now that's one that you just as a kid you just don't fully realize that you're not just marrying a person you're marrying into a family and along with that comes a lot of opinions and a lot of things and it enters in it can create you need to learn how to build a wall if you need to build a wall so that it doesn't affect your marriage if family is getting in the way because the marriage is more important than other people's opinions there's been times in our marriage where this is going back and it's and i don't uh i just given this as an illustration not in any way trying to talk bad about my wife's family at all but uh when we were young and uh we got married and the the stakes were this if you say yes to marrying me you are pledging to go away with me to florida for at least three years for bible institute that's what i'm doing i know that's what god wants me to do and if you don't want any part of it then just say no and i just didn't know how to how to say it maybe it wasn't very romantic engagement but uh we were engaged to be married and as the time came the the time came closer and closer it was probably about oh about maybe maybe seven or eight months until we were going to be moving away we were married and then within two months we were going to move and she began to face some resistance not i never saw it i never heard a word of it but through her family through her brother through her mom and dad or at least her mother maybe they were just very strongly cautioning her about moving away about just to them it was just like she's out of our lives forever as soon as she goes and they didn't understand what was going on they didn't understand the lord leading a man and uh her joining him it just was kind of a foreign thing to their family and they didn't buy it and someone not all of them i mean they're her dad good man loves the lord and he he would concede that if this is god's will then it's the right thing to do but it wasn't the the top choice on the shelf for that family to watch their daughter just in their mind disappear from their lives forever and they'd have no control or no influence on her and that i was just kind of pulling her out and ripping her from them and taking off with her and and i didn't know what i was doing kind of thing and so it was tough and that that that's a real that puts a real strain on us and our relationship was she was being pulled by the people that love her and she loves being pulled away from her marriage relationship and from what the lord was doing in our lives and i'm not attacking her family i understand it from their standpoint but boy was that ever something uh so anyway that's just one of the problems divorce because of hard hearts turn to romans chapter 12 look at look at a verse here get back to this thought of the hardness of their hearts this is why that moses made allowances because you all won't get along and because you all won't do right if everybody would do right and seek the lord first then there's not going to be a need for this and when god established marriage that was kind of the assumption if you want to call it that they're going to love each other and do right and this institution is great and it's blessed of god but then there's this thing about man and his sin and when that gets into the equation it can mess any good thing up that god sets up romans chapter 12 paul gives a teaching in verse number 10 he says be kindly affectioned one to another

[16:57] with brotherly love and look at the last phrase in honor preferring one another that's a good phrase to plug into your marriage to prefer one another there won't be divorces when the spouse prefers the other but there is divorces because somebody's proud and somebody has to have it their way and make sure they get their way and won't yield and won't compromise look at first corinthians chapter six first corinthians chapter six compromise can be a very good word in marriage relationships first corinthians chapter six here's a situation where uh brethren are at odds with one another and instead of handling it the way they're supposed to within the church or in the congregation they're going to law they're going outside of the church and getting someone else's opinion on it and paul just he faults them for this and just catch the end of this stuff in verse number seven now verse number six he says but brother goeth to law with brother and that before the unbelievers that's the problem now in verse seven now therefore there is utterly a fault among you because you go to law one with another now here's his solution why do ye not rather take wrong i know why because the hardness of your hearts nobody wants to take the wrong especially when they think they're right how many of you in here on a regular basis don't raise your hand but actually bend and bow the knee and give in when you're right and you give in to the wrong party and just take it and just go on and you do it because it's the the christian or the right thing to do or because christ wants you to have that attitude versus fighting and strife and contention he says why do you not rather take wrong next question in verse seven why do you not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded nay you do wrong and defraud and that you were brethren now i know why you probably know why too it's because of pride that a man won't humble himself and just give in and say fine i'll i'll take the wrong then even though i'm not wrong i'll just take it do you does that ring a bell there's something you know anybody ever who took the wrong and opened not his mouth look at first peter chapter two i'll show you who did first peter chapter two you're going to find out this isn't just about marriage but in the context of marriage it makes a big difference i want you to learn something that as a christian you're called to do this to give in first peter chapter two uh look at verse 19 for this is thankworthy if a man for conscience toward god endure grief notice it's his conscience toward god that he endures grief not from god but from somewhere else from mankind suffering wrongfully that's thankworthy that's a good thing if you endure something like that with because it's toward the lord and you suffer wrongfully verse 20 for what glory is it if when you be buffeted for your faults you do take it patiently there's no glorying in that you're guilty you deserve it so just shut your mouth and deal with it but if when you do well and suffer for it you take it patiently this is acceptable with god that means that the lord god takes notice when you're innocent and when you're right and someone's wrong

[21:03] and you just endure the grief of it and take it and not fight it and not exalt yourself and not make sure that they and everybody else knows that you're innocent and you don't worry about your reputation like the lord jesus christ and philippians 2 and you don't worry about what others are concerned about or what they're saying about you you just with conscience toward god just take it it's i think god god says whoa do you see that guy you see what he just did you know what that looks like to him that reminds him of his son look at verse number 21 for even here unto were ye called because christ also suffered for us leaving us an example that ye should follow his steps who did no sin neither was guile found in his mouth who when he was reviled reviled not again when he suffered he threatened not but committed himself to him that judges righteously now that's your example for defrauding yourself for taking the wrong for suffering wrongfully for being buffeted of all these terms is the lord jesus christ he didn't just do it to pay for your sins he did it as peter says to give you an example of how you ought to live i know that goes against what's in your in your inside your heart and inside your flesh nobody's going to put you down nobody's going to make you look like a fool and you're not giving in to anybody especially some fool who's wrong wrong wrong all the time but there's a different teaching that comes out of the bible and the true christian life a true christian that's walking with god one that's maturing in their walk is one that starts getting lower and lower and lower and lower and that's that's christian humility and if that's inside of you and it's displayed in your marriage you'll have peace in your home and the bible describes there that you commit yourself to him that judgeth righteously you don't say i'm going to get you one day i'm going to get back at you i'll take it today but i'm not going to take it tomorrow no it's for conscience toward god it's like lord you see this and i'm going to let this go and i'm going to do it because i know that you see it and i know that you said vengeance is mine and i will repay and it's not my place to take vengeance on on anybody especially your spouse good night so matthew chapter 19 moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives but from the beginning it was not so it was not so all right matthew 19 and look at verse number nine and i say unto you so now he's going to add on to this thought about the original setup for marriage and what moses allowed and i say unto you whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication so if the if the spouse is an infidel or if they are infidelity i should say if and if they're guilty of being unfaithful then that's an allowance that christ gives but otherwise whosoever shall put away his wife and then he says shall marry another commit adultery and whoso marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery so an unfaithful spouse is the only grounds that god gives for the term put away or divorce now we could go to first corinthians 7 i think we've done that already in this sunday school hour and looked at there's other uh exemptions from the marriage or um what the word is is loosed being loosed from a marriage you're loosed if their spouse dies you're loosed if your spouse

[25:07] deserts you and your spouse takes off you're loosed from the marriage instead of being bound those are the bible words about marriage loosed and bound in this case christ says you can only put them away you can only be the one that initiates it and cuts it off if they've been unfaithful to you so that's some bible teaching on marriage if you're not sure about that other stuff get into first corinthians 7 and you'll see it there uh verse number 10 his disciples say unto him look at this his disciples now after the pharisees came with their questions his disciples say unto him if the case of the man be so with his wife it is not good to marry what a reaction what a reaction to what he said and again may i don't maybe i don't hear clearly the the tone and and understand fully the situation of the day and the custom i mean it could have been bad it could have been where they're just putting them away for for not who knows putting their shoes away at night or something they could have been just going nuts on the stupidest things and uh i don't know i can't understand it but the statement seems awful strong for a grown man to say well if that's the case if i can't put her away for anything except she's unfaithful to me then might as well not even marry at all but that's really how they're taking this i want to be able to get rid of her if i want to i it sounds strange to to have that reaction and it's almost as if when they say that in their statement they're saying if that's the case then god's ways for marriage i'm just not interested in that i'm just i'm not sure that i want to uh to put place that kind of worth on something that i would take that much work to achieve his will i don't know i feel like it must have been bad that the custom of the jews was pretty far out of line for them to think that way based upon what christ taught about how it was from the beginning so their statement is it is good it is not good to marry well god said if a man find a wife he finds a good thing good thing so it is good to marry he obtained a favor of the lord it is a good thing to marry so the disciples are something's going off here in their minds or the way they're perceiving what this is all about verse 11 he said unto them all men cannot receive this saying save they to whom it is given the saying he's referring to is what they said in verse 10 about not marrying because then he he continues on about some that aren't married verse 12 there are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother's womb so there's males that cannot or either refrain from reproduction and there's one case that is by birth there's a defect of some sort they're in able or incapable of reproduction and that's just one defect in the human race and there are so many and so that's not even that big deal uh there are some which are so born from their mother's womb and there are some eunuchs which are made eunuchs of men so either by mutilation or tragedy or even uh procedures and they're made eunuchs of men and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake he that is able to receive it let him receive it and so there's some that have decided either the they're gonna they have self-control they're gonna remain single paul said that about himself um let me find that that was in first corinthians 7 as well um

[29:07] um please the lord is on mary care for things of the lord where is that oh back to beginning yeah there it is so i say therefore to the unmarried and widows it is good for them if they abide even as i and that was paul's desire and goal and he says later that if you do marry you're gonna have to care for the things of the world you may please his wife if you're unmarried you can care for the things that belong to the lord i can please the lord verse 32 so the apostle paul was that kind of guy who had that kind of self-control and had uh his heart on serving god fully and that's that's something where christ says that statement at the end he that is able to receive it let him receive it it's not a blanket statement for the human the race it'd go extinct if it was and so that's a statement for if god's putting that on your heart if god's leading you that way that's for you sometimes christ says he that hath an ear to hear let him hear all right so verse number 13 then were there brought unto him little children that he should put his hands on them and pray and the disciples rebuked them but jesus said suffer little children and forbid them not to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven and he laid his hands on them and departed thence now take a look at mark chapter 10 mark chapter 10 and verse 13 through 16 little bit differently worded here in luke it uses the word infants in luke 18 verse 13 says they brought him young children they brought young children to him that he should touch them and his disciples rebuked those that brought them but when jesus saw it he was much displeased and said unto them suffer little children to come unto me and forbid them not for if such is the kingdom of god verily i say unto you whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of god as a little child he shall not enter therein he took them up in his arms he put his hands upon them and blessed them now in the in the hebrew culture you go back in genesis 48 this is a an act of a father to do this kind of thing taking children up putting his hands on them blessing them uh... he blessed them what do you think that means that's that's a jewish cultural thing and that's something you see with the the patriarchs of abraham and isaac and jacob blessing the children and even the grandchildren and having them brought upon them and hands on them and doing that and that's something jesus christ is doing i don't think every every grandfather he wasn't even a grandfather he's in his early 30s he's a young young man it's totally unfitting for him to be calling the little children and doing that and that's what that is though and he's doing that he's even showing and maybe in picture this father figure to israel uh... showing himself that abraham figure that that over the race kind of figure other times he's he likens himself to being a mother to being to saying like a hen gathering her chickens their brood under wings and he says i would do that to you but you would not and so jesus christ in his ministry shows even in cases like this this father patriarchal figure to the nation as well as even the maternal figure to the nation uh... because the nation then is pictured as children

[33:08] and god said israel is my son even my firstborn and it's just some uh... some of that picture going on that you probably don't see just reading through there but it's going on and they pick it up and they understand that these things have significance those uh... times that he's calling children to him and things like that and beyond that when the disciples wanted to rebuke the children and get rid of these guys what are they they're nothing they can't do anything they're just troublemakers and they offer no substance to what we're doing here that's how they looked on kids uh... christ didn't have that mindset toward the children he never did and i don't think we should ever underestimate children or children's ministries or an opportunity to do something in the life of a child especially when they're a child if you get their mindset on all we have to win men win women and build a church with adults i get that to a degree but you're overestimating you're despising something we'll talk about in a minute the little ones the small things and christ wouldn't do that he said forbid them not to come unto me and uh...

[34:21] jails and missions and streets are filled with people who at one time were children and something went wrong along the way and when that takes place they they bear it out sometimes for the rest of their adult lives things that took place in their youth and so i think children need to be ministered unto children need to be sought after i think a healthy church is a church with children and it's a big deal it's a bigger deal than maybe you realize so before we get into this passage about the young ruler and keeping the commandments it'll take a little bit there so we'll probably pause here give you a few extra minutes this morning i guess we skipped a song so we're we're getting back on the course here let's close in prayer and then we'll be dismissed for a few minutes lord i pray that you'll use your words in the teaching this morning from matthew 19 to help us in one way god not to have hard hearts not to be stiff necked toward one another but to be forgiving and to give in and be humble lord rebuke us in our hearts and spirits when that flesh rises up inside us and wants to be uh...

[35:32] maintain its cause and its reputation lord help us to follow the example of the lord jesus christ and submit ourselves one to another uh... not just in our marriages but in our church and in our jobs and have that spirit within us that's displayed to others that they can see and understand that it's not normal that it's the lord jesus christ and lord may you be pleased when you see it in us and it's in jesus name we ask amen alright take a break