Ephesians 6 vs 1-9

[0:00] and we give thanks to God God our Father thank you for your living word we thank you for the power of your living word that your word are words of eternal life we pray that as your word has been sown that you might bring to fruition even a hundredfold what has been sown in your word into our hearts speak to us by your Holy Spirit we pray in Jesus name and for his glory Amen do you want to know the secret to a happy home and a happy workplace what do you picture in your mind when you think of a happy home or a happy workplace what does that even look like the question in recent times is whether or not marriage is necessary for this or whether marriage even between a man and a woman is necessary for this or whether certain forms of discipline are even necessary for this or certain forms of equality are necessary for a happy home and a happy workplace indeed the dominant view now is that you could get rid of marriage certainly not limit marriage to a man and a woman you could get rid of discipline you could push for complete equality in every single way for every single person male, female, children, adults cats, dogs, everything in between whatever you want to identify as everyone is equal in every way with equal rights with no need of marriage no need of God's design or pattern and you can all get a happy home in your own personal design that's the dominant view today but how's that working out for people?

[1:52] not very well not many happy homes yet isn't this thinking evidently so in our progressive, modern advanced, better than any other more forward-thinking society that God's design is unnecessary or even damaging or limiting isn't that the very same lie the devil told in the beginning?

[2:16] God's pattern God's order God's design is about limiting you and holding you back that was the original lie and that same lie that same thought pervades our society today does it not?

[2:33] the majority of you in our country today is that whatever the secret to the happy home is certainly not God's design because his design is outdated we've outgrown it now although the things at this point in Paul's letter seem very practical very earthy and almost very ordinary it's important to remember how he started the letter and how he'll finish the letter because many people would argue that these things are just ordinary things that anyone can do and if there are any problems in marriage or with children or at work they can be solved with human solutions we don't need God to solve our problems we can do that on our own well lest anyone be tempted to think that society is much better now the truth is no one has done more to restore the value of such as women and children and workers throughout history than Christianity so any sense that things are better now is only in part because true Christianity practices and promotes this better way wherever the Christian community exists that's the truth that's the only way that we would see that society is any better now than it ever has been but on the flip side though in reality things are not so different the problems still exist today all over the world in every place in every culture and have no human solution human efforts to fix these kind of problems might come close but soon go off in other damaging tangents so I think it's important to see that these seemingly ordinary earthy things that Paul writes about are actually based upon something not merely ordinary or earthy but extraordinary and heavenly namely that these things are as a result of being a new creation in Christ the reality is when Paul wrote this what he was promoting was radically different to the norm in a Roman society and it still challenges society today well here's the kind of thing here's the kind of world that Paul was writing to let me give you an example there was a Roman law called the patria potesta the power of the father and this meant that a Roman father basically had absolute power of life and death over his children as long as he was alive didn't matter if the children were adults themselves as the authoritative head of the family he could sell any of his family members into slavery if he wanted he could make them work the field he could put them in chains he could choose their spouses he could sentence them to death and so on fortunately for many the law that law wasn't often taken to such extremes but make no mistake there was very little assurance for children compared to now this letter there's a letter that was found from first from 1 BC from a Roman man named

[5:36] Hilarion and he sent it to his wife while travelling and this is how the letter reads Hilarion to Aelis his wife heartiest greetings and to my dear Beres and Apollinarian know that we are still even now in Alexandria do not worry if when all others return I remain in Alexandria I beg and beseech of you to take care of the little child and as soon as we receive wages I will send them to you sounds good if good luck to you you have a child she's pregnant if it's a boy let it live if it's a girl throw it out you told Aphrodisias to tell me do not forget me how can I forget you I beg you therefore do not worry it's so strange isn't it on the one hand it's so full of affection yet on the other hand it's quite callous and indifferent towards this unborn child this love for his wife don't worry about me forgetting you of course I don't forget you and take care of the little child but the unborn one well if it's a boy let it live if it's a girl throw it out unwanted children could just be left in the forum to either die or be picked up by people who would groom them as slaves or something worse basically human trafficking this happened but this was the world in which they lived and we might be shocked at this and rightly so but this isn't necessarily because value has always been obvious that isn't even true today is it when you consider the battle against abortion but should a child be kept if a child is kept

[7:25] Paul doesn't think that they should simply obey out of fear that's not what his command is about the command to obey at least from a biblical perspective is never to obey simply because a domineering person told you to do something the incentive from a biblical perspective is never out of fear of punishment even in the Old Testament even in the law even in the blessings and curses the incentive isn't out of fear of punishment though that might be the consequence properly understood the law promotes life already given life to an undeserving people by a gracious and loving God that's the incentive to obey it's the way of the world to domineer and dictate and Jesus along with apostles taught against that didn't Jesus say in John 14 if you love me you will keep my commandments see those that keep his commandments do so because they love him not out of fear of punishment isn't that what John writes in one John love drives out perfect love drives out fear the incentive to obey is out of love and respect and trust now admittedly so that must be difficult when your father could abandon you or sell you into slavery or punish you at a whim or whatever even now there are many factors that make obedience less desirable abandonment abuse discouragement bad example

[8:56] Paul's already spoken to wives and husbands what a Christian marriage should look like the order the design and the theology behind that again though it seems ordinary and earthy it is all grounded in something extraordinary and heavenly that the husband and wife becoming one is a foreshadow an example of Christ leaving his father to become one body with the church giving his life to do so out of love it's out of love that Christ gave his life God so loved the world God loved his world in that way by the death of his son and this is the context in which Paul speaks to children the parents they should obey should be ones who are new creations in Christ so he's not asking the children to do something unreasonable he commands them on the basis that their parents should be worthy of obeying and submitting to that like obeying Christ they should obey their parents out of love and respect and trust and that the parents should already be demonstrating their love and respect to the children showing their children that they can be trusted that their instruction is always out of love for the child's benefit children obey your parents and the

[10:16] Lord for this is right if you ever want at any age in stage in life if you ever want to know the right thing to do it is to obey your parents even if you don't understand why they're asking you to do one thing Paul then shows that it's right because it's what the Lord himself commands honour your father and mother this is the first commandment with a promise he says that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land I think it's very kind of Paul isn't it to highlight that it comes with a promise it's like a little nod to the child he's not only demonstrating that it's right but ultimately that what God wants for us is for it to go well that we might live long why should children obey their parents why should a child obey their parents why is it right because God wants you to have life simply put that's what it is God's about life how many people don't get that life that both goes well and lasts a long time that's what

[11:26] God wants that's why God wants you to obey your parents that's why God gives such a high standard for parents to live in the Lord so if it's right in God's eyes that we should obey our parents then perhaps we should if we want our lives to go well and last long and we see the consequence when the opposite happens don't we for instance Adam didn't obey God and his life both did not go well like it could have and it was cut short as he was cut off from the tree of life and we see throughout Proverbs as Solomon writes my son do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments for the length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you my son do not lose sight of these keep sound wisdom and discretion and they will be life for your soul hear my son and accept my words that the years of your life may be many and life for them and then we see the opposite in the rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to his own devices a child left to himself brings shame to his mother that's why Paul goes on to say fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

[12:46] Lord bring them up he says things because they can't do it themselves they shouldn't be left to themselves even now as an adult I need some guidance and instruction even discipline at times not necessarily to be put on a naughty step or a smack in my bum this is this isn't just about very young infants this is about all of us a child left to himself brings shame to his mother says the wise man now Paul wasn't advocating for equal rights for absolutely everyone in every area and with everything nor was he viewing people as individual entities completely separate from one another but that is often how people are viewed and treated nowadays isn't it Paul wants to show that when everyone is functioning properly in the design of God everyone is blessed everyone benefits everyone grows and thrives not irrespective of God's design but because of it when it's properly functioning but nowadays people want to cut ties with everyone start blank and choose their own attachments for themselves one teacher put it this way teachers are afraid of the principals the principals are afraid of the superintendents the superintendents are afraid of the board the board members are afraid of the parents and the parents are afraid of the children the children are afraid of nobody it's a disaster in society when children make their own way that's the truth of it and don't we see it it's a huge problem it's a huge problem in our society and what we really need is parents and children to become new creations in Christ that's the only way so that they can then live as such that is the context of all this Paul isn't just giving us good advice he's saying this is all within the context of becoming new creations in

[14:44] Christ children obeying their parents out of love and respect and trust and parents especially fathers not to be abusive or excessive in discipline rather being fair consistent loving and trustworthy John MacArthur gives a really helpful insight to this that the point of discipline the point of any discipline is to make the child sorry but never angry never to make them angry it's to make them sorry that they did something that doesn't promote life it doesn't promote a life that goes well and lasts long but it's never to make them angry or resentful never cross the line in discipline because it's it's too easy as a parent being bigger more experienced in life further down the line higher up the ladder it's too easy to be a bully to be abusive or to cross the line it is quite easy to crush a child's spirit isn't it and we must really avoid this this is especially with discipline and this is something that I'm learning with two young children we must never cross the line no matter what age the child is we can crush their spirit we could crush them with their actions or outbursts or even with their words we can cause anger and resentment in them that runs deep and lasts a long long time and this is this is what happens this is what ends up happening is that the anger and resentment then becomes towards us and then towards authority and then towards the church and then towards God and this is what Paul was trying to guard these believers from if it is right for children to obey their parents in the

[16:26] Lord then it is definitely right for parents to be patient and responsible with those that God has put in their care and just to show how scripture will always correspond to reality because God knows what he's talking about he knows what will happen if we listen to him and he knows what will happen if we don't so to show that let me share just some quick interesting results from a couple of studies at Harvard University there was a study done that took a bunch of five and six year olds did a survey on them and did a survey in their home life and from that they made predictions of delinquency after four years they checked back on the children and they found out that their predictions were 90% accurate it's incredible accuracy so from the results they determined that there were four necessary factors to prevent delinquency one that there was a discipline of a father and that it was fair and consistent two there was the supervision of a mother that the mother was with the child often where the child was and whatever they were doing number three that the father and mother's affection for each other was present and visible to the children and number four the family's cohesive nerve that the father mother children were united together in life those four things were missing and those that ended up in delinquency another study by a medical doctor

[17:57] Paul Meyer identifies five things essential to right parent child relationships love discipline consistency example and a father at the head of the home everything Paul is writing at this point is from the perspective that they would be evident if they are indeed new creations in Christ the secret to a happy home is the design of God made possible through Christ to be part of the new humanity in Christ and living as such even now before it's fully realized when I worked as a carer I used to support a young man in his 20s and among other things he had a hard time listening to or submitting to any figure of authority he used to say you're not the boss of me and his was just more obvious an extreme version of something that can rise within every single one of us behind it I guess is is perhaps a lack of trust that someone actually wants good for you again it's the same lie in Genesis 3 a seed of distrust which not only turns man against

[19:11] God but turns man against man why should we trust that anyone wants good for us therefore why should we listen to anyone or obey anyone Paul doesn't want to see trust between a husband and wife parent and child servant and master and not foolish or unjustified trust Paul isn't asking us to trust in any unjustified or foolish way his instruction to each of these doesn't depend on something as fickle as trustworthiness of humans rather it depends on the unshakable and unchanging trustworthiness of God why should a wife husband parent and child do any of these things why should a servant or slave obey their master and do their best work for them well not because they can trust that their master means them well they should do it because God means them well the master may have power of life and death over their slaves but God has power of life and death over the master it may seem like the master is sovereign over the servant but God is sovereign over the whole empire indeed the whole world and all creation why should a servant obey a child obey why should any of us do our best because although we are submitting to another we are all under God's control therefore any of us should obey not because we can trust that those above us or those we are submitting to mean as well but because God means as well we should do our best because we are doing it for God we are doing it for the God that has us exactly where he intends to have us

[21:05] God is in control he is sovereign if he really didn't want us to be where we are he would take us out of it God doesn't always give us an escape from our circumstance but he does give us the ability and strength to overcome it as Paul says elsewhere I can do all things through him who gives me strength the secret to a happy workplace happy home is to realize that God is in control that God has you there for a reason and God ultimately intends it for good even if somebody else intends it for bad and Joseph isn't he a prime example of this and everything he trusted God he might not have known how it would work out but he did right because he trusted that God was in control and that didn't mean that he obeyed to the point of sin because there was a point that he was asked to do something dishonorable which he refused to do and was badly treated for it but that in no way whatsoever spoiled God's plan for good can't thwart God's plan so what does a new creation in Christ look like in the workplace an honest

[22:15] God honoring hard worker aiming to do their best for those who serve even when no one's looking Barclay says the secret to good work is to do it for God so the secret to a happy workplace is when both servants and masters alike acknowledge that God is ultimately in charge isn't that the same in your home life or in your marriage see status on earth will not help anyone when they come to stand before God our work is for God and our wages and reward come from God whether a wife or husband child or parents slave free or master as Paul says at the end of this God's not partial the way God orders things and his order and design is not about importance or value but rather responsibility and function status money and power do not impress God so let us never let it impress us or guide us or even fool us to the point of making us bitter and mean spirited towards those who think important although Paul says more to the servant than he does to the master if you want to see a very personal exhortation to a master whose servant ran away then read Philemon as said before these things that Paul's talking about they might seem rather ordinary and earthy but relational norms in a dying world of sin and darkness is the thing that he is counteracting so we mustn't think that it's not as much an issue now nor must we think that it won't be as applicable now as it was then in a harsh Roman culture if we are children if we are children of light living in a dying world of darkness then in whatever situation in whatever relationship you're in be a light in that that's what Paul's saying remember as well that there will always be those who are trying to destroy that there will always be those the devil is all about destroying relationships between God and humans and humans and each other so next week you get to the armor of God and all that business the powers of darkness and so on dear brother here is going to talk about that he said to me earlier that he would the very least like to be a nuisance a nuisance to hell and isn't that what this is about when we get to that next week don't suppose that Paul was randomly jumping from heavenly stuff to earthy stuff back to heavenly stuff but it's all connected it is all connected it's all the one thing just different sides of the same coin these earthly things are evidence of the heavenly reality that the good that is seen in your earthly relationships come from your new risen life hidden with Christ in the heavenly places living as new creations and these different relational areas will give the world a taste of what the new creation will be like because not only will it be seen in you and how you relate to others but by that you will be a blessing to those around you you will be a blessing to your marriage to your home to your workplace and to your community so Paul is saying be who you are in Christ because as you will see next time there exists rulers authorities cosmic powers and spiritual forces of evil that want to destroy you and destroy these relationships but because of who you are in Christ because of who Christ is what he has done where he is above all those rulers and authorities and powers he is greater and

[26:18] in him you stand secure and firm so these things that Paul is asking us to do they are possible because of Christ and who he is even against the forces of the spiritual forces of evil because Christ is above the lot of them and in him you are secure and firm let me pray God our father in heaven we thank you for Christ your son we thank you for Jesus whom you have raised from the dead and sat at your right hand side above all authority all power all rulers all dominions with all things coming under his feet he is above all things and his name is above every name that is named we thank you for him in whom he has made us a new creation and Lord we ask that you would help us by his strength that we would live as new creations even now in every and any relation that we relationship that we find ourselves in and that we would experience the joy and blessing of that and that in that you would be glorified we pray in Jesus name for his sake amen well let's you