Proverbs Ch5v1-23 - Wise Sex

[0:00] Thank you.

[0:20] Proverbs chapter 5. Proverbs chapter 5.

[0:52] Proverbs chapter 5.

[1:22] Proverbs chapter 5. Proverbs chapter 5. Proverbs chapter 5. her steps lead straight to the grave.

[1:34] She gives no thought to the way of life. Her paths wander aimlessly but she does not know it. Now then, my sons, listen to me.

[1:49] Do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her. Do not go near the door of her house lest you lose your honour to others and your dignity to one who is cruel.

[2:07] Lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and body are spent.

[2:21] You will say, how I hated discipline. How my heart spurned correction. I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.

[2:36] And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God's people. Drink water from your own cistern.

[2:48] Running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets? Your streams of water in the public squares?

[2:59] Let them be yours alone. Never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed. And may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

[3:13] A loving doe. A graceful deer. May her breast satisfy you always. May you ever be intoxicated with her love.

[3:27] Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord.

[3:43] And he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them. The cords of their sins hold them fast.

[3:56] For lack of discipline, they will die, led astray by their own great folly. Well, a serious text.

[4:11] Let's pray and ask for God's help. Father, as we look at your word today, would you help me to carefully and truthfully speak and declare it?

[4:34] Would you also guard us from digging up our past where things have already been forgiven and dealt with? May we rejoice and know that they are forgiven.

[4:51] And yet, if there are things that we need to address today in our own personal lives, would you gently work in us by your spirit leading us to Christ?

[5:06] Help us, we pray. Amen. Amen. A man dressed in a suit sits down to dinner after a busy day.

[5:29] An elegant lady walks towards him, brushing against his shoulder. mother. She turns with a smile and apologises. She's got his attention.

[5:43] A conversation starts. Social media will reveal the rest of the story to us. A well-known community worker cheats on wife.

[5:55] Pastor caught with prostitute. What we might call a honey trap, Proverbs calls honey lips.

[6:06] Look at verse 3. For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil.

[6:19] Or as we would say, smoother and softer than silk. You see, the message of Proverbs chapter 5 is very clear to us.

[6:31] And it's simply this. Listen to the wisdom of God's words so that you stay clear of free love's empty words.

[6:44] Listen to the wisdom of God's word so that we stay clear of free love's empty words. Verse 7.

[6:56] Now then, my sons, listen to me. Do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her. Do not go near to the door of her house.

[7:11] Verse 20. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord.

[7:24] and he examines all your paths. Be careful of the sweet words from honey lips.

[7:37] Sexual freedom is good for you. It's your body and your choice. If it feels good, then it must be good.

[7:48] Don't wait. Just do it. An explosion of TV shows entice us to follow our desires.

[7:59] Believe it or not, this is what is on your TV screens. Naked attraction. Love island. I kissed a boy or I kissed a girl.

[8:10] Too hot to handle. Dating naked. The bachelor. Ex on the beach. The great sex experiment. And add to that the plethora of dating apps, porn sites, romance novels.

[8:27] For the lips of the adulterous man or woman drip honey and their speech is smoother than oil.

[8:41] What harm is there in a one-night stand? Why limit yourself to just one person? You're free to scroll through endless porn videos on your phone.

[8:55] You're free to experiment and see what you like. But there's a problem with all of that. Honey lips only tells us one side of the story.

[9:10] Look at verse 4. In the end she is bitter as gall sharp as a double-edged sword. It's like biting into a lemon.

[9:22] Your mouth is immediately full of sweet sensations driving you wild but the bitter aftertaste lingers long.

[9:35] Verse 5. Her feet go down to death. Her steps lead straight to the grave. Oh the promises for so much pleasure but a life of destruction is the price for momentary satisfaction.

[9:57] So whether we are young or old whether we are married or single be careful of honey lips or people are young or people or people are young people are young or people!

[10:14] !!! Well first! The big thing that we need to learn is the folly or the stupidity of sexual freedom.

[10:26] Verse 8. Keep to a path far from her or him. Do not go near the door of their house.

[10:38] Stay away from honey lips. don't engage with free love's offer because it's not free. It's costly.

[10:52] It will cost you relationally. Verse 9. Lest you lose your honour or your relationships to others and your dignity your respect to one who is cruel.

[11:08] The husband who has an affair the wife who fantasises about the man at work is never ever private. It costs you your relationships your relationship with your spouse with your children with your friends with your colleagues.

[11:29] Well why do you say that? Well because through your actions you've broken trust you've told lies you've cheated and as you give yourself to one so you are always withholding your love from others.

[11:50] It's the same for teens and young men. Hours of watching porn means you actually lose the ability to relate to women as you should.

[12:03] Teen boys just become angry with their mothers. young men treat women as just mere physical objects of pleasure to serve their needs some kind of conquest exercise.

[12:19] For young women who give their bodies freely in search of love well it leads to a hatred of self as they are used by one partner after another.

[12:30] you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see. Sexual freedom is not free it costs you relationally.

[12:45] All those programs and TV are but a lie seductive words that entangle you in a broken mess.

[12:56] not just relationally but it can cost you financially. Verse 10 Lest strangers feast on your wealth and all your toil all your hard work your well-earned money enrich the house of another.

[13:20] We've seen it an affair can quickly turn to blackmail a one-night stand to a child that needs ongoing support and financial care.

[13:32] Breakups separation and divorce leads to a division of assets where no one wins after the solicitors take their cut.

[13:46] Sexual freedom can lead to addiction and the buying of sex whether that's online or with real people. Soon your stability becomes an uncontrolled debt.

[14:00] Sexual freedom is never free. It costs us financially. In fact it will lead to a life of desperate deep regret.

[14:16] Verse 11 at the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and body are spent. When you're left and you can do nothing but just sit.

[14:31] Verse 12 you will look back and reflect on your life and you will say how I had hated discipline how my heart had spurned correction. I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.

[14:48] I wish I could have started all over again. I wish I had made better choices in my life. Why didn't I listen when I heard that sermon on Proverbs 5?

[15:03] The folly of sexual freedom is this. It is costly and it leaves us with deep regret.

[15:15] Verse 23 For lack of discipline they will die led astray by their own great folly.

[15:29] Be careful of honey lips whether it is him or her and their seductive words it leads to a broken mess.

[15:44] Second the joy of faithful marriage. You see while sexual freedom is wrong and destructive there is a context where sick sex is good and beautiful.

[16:02] Look at verse 17 let them be yours alone never to be shared with strangers.

[16:14] He's talking about marriage and it's within marriage that we find joyful sexual pleasure but not just as we want because first there is boundaries for sex.

[16:33] Verse 15 drink water from your own cistern running water from your own well. The imagery is poetic and clear.

[16:45] It's simply saying have sex with your own wife enjoy intimacy with your own husband. Quench your thirst for sexual pleasure with the one you are married to.

[17:01] Our bodies are not to be shared around. Verse 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets? Your streams of water in the public squares?

[17:14] If you're married don't go giving yourself to anyone else. You belong to your spouse. Guard your marriage. Protect your marriage.

[17:26] Don't exchange your lover with the images on screen or the fantasies within your head. You see sex is God's idea not ours and the only right and good context is within a marriage.

[17:45] A union of one man and one woman for life or until death parts. So there are boundaries that we must take note of.

[18:00] But with boundaries in place there is pleasure. Sometimes we can get the impression certainly from social media and from what we listen to other places that God is anti sex.

[18:18] That sex is only for making babies. Well look at how the author delights in his wife. Verse 19 A loving doe a graceful deer.

[18:33] I often wondered what Kirsty would think if I called her a graceful doe or a loving deer. I'm not quite sure what response I would get but obviously there was some romantic image their slenderness their sleekness but as we go on it needs no explanation does it?

[18:53] May her breasts satisfy you always. May you ever be intoxicated with her love. We are reading the Bible.

[19:06] That is what it says. God designed men and women differently so wives and husbands can take pleasure in each other. Look at the end of verse 19.

[19:18] May you ever be intoxicated with her love. Yes there are boundaries but within marriage you are free to enjoy each other.

[19:31] Literally it's saying get drunk in each other's love. You see a healthy sexual relationship binds and strengthens the marriage.

[19:45] intimacy leads to security. In fact a marriage that is healthy means that you will function better.

[19:56] Out of your love for one another will overflow love to other people. Your service of one another and to each other will overflow in service to each other.

[20:12] If we're not at one with our spouse well then we are not in a good place to serve and love and care for others.

[20:24] Now before we move on there are two things that I want us to note. It's not on the screen but here we are.

[20:35] The first is sex is never demanded. when man and woman get married yes we submit and surrender ourselves to each other.

[20:47] What is his belongs to hers what is hers belongs to him. Sex is to be given willingly and lovingly. It is never to be forced or coerced.

[21:01] Marriage doesn't give you the right to do what you like when you like. It is a beautiful gift designed by God given in the context of marriage to serve each other.

[21:17] Never demanded. And the second thing is this sex is not everything. So whether we're married or single here today sex doesn't determine your joy.

[21:32] Our joy is ultimately found not in the gifts that God gives us but in God himself who is the giver. Our joy is in God who made us who loved us and he only gives what is good and best for us.

[21:49] It's in our relationship with God that we are ultimately and truly satisfied. So the joy of a faithful marriage is this sex within the boundaries of marriage is good and beautiful and gives you joyful pleasure.

[22:12] So first we've got the folly of sexual freedom and its destruction leading to death and then second we have the joy of a faithful marriage.

[22:27] God's good designs, his boundaries and the freedom to enjoy his good gifts. But third, the purity for sinful choices.

[22:43] I think there's two big applications from Proverbs 5 that I think we need to consider together this morning. warning. The first is this, the warning.

[22:58] Now you might be here and you're thinking, well what's the harm? What if I do venture down the path of sexual freedom? It's only just a bit of fun.

[23:10] I can always turn back onto the right path. Well you can't. You see sexual sin as with any sin enslaves you.

[23:26] It controls you and masters you. You think you're in control but sin's tentacles are gripped around you. Look at verse 22.

[23:38] The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them, the cords of their sins, their tentacles hold them fast.

[23:50] For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly. You see the rewards of sexual freedom, the cost of all of our sin, whatever that may be, is not ultimately satisfaction but death.

[24:11] That's the reason we all die. is because we are enslaved to sin. A death that is not just physical but leads to a separation from God and from all that is good for all eternity.

[24:28] Honey lips may entice you with her lies or his lies but all it does is lead to a life of emptiness from which we cannot break free.

[24:39] verse 6 she gives no thought to the way of life. Her paths wander aimlessly and she doesn't even know it.

[24:53] And that's what will happen to us. Sure a bit of porn is no harm. A moment of playful sex with my boyfriend or girlfriend it's all just fun.

[25:06] No. it takes you down a path of destruction and you don't even know you're on it. Wisdom's message is don't come to the end of your life in regret where you face death without the forgiveness and love and kindness of our God.

[25:32] Accept the discipline of wisdom now and repent turn back to God and he will forgive you and he will renew you and restore to you the joy of salvation.

[25:51] Which brings us to the second application and I think perhaps this is where it hits home for most of us. Yes we need the warning but perhaps for most of us it's cleansing.

[26:10] We look back on our life we look at our present life and we see the devastating impact of our sinful choices. You see not one of us here in this room can say I am pure.

[26:27] Verse 21 for our ways are in full view of the Lord and he examines all our paths.

[26:43] God sees all my actions he knows all about my thoughts in fact for most of us as we listen and as we think about this we can become overcome with guilt and shame because of our sexual sin.

[27:00] We feel ashamed and dirty. We long to be washed and made clean. We want to be pure.

[27:14] Well that's the wisdom of God's word to us today and where it is pointing us. It is leading us to Christ who will clean us of every stain and blemish.

[27:27] You see the marriage that we were looking at, the joyful marriage is a relationship pointing to a better and greater marriage to come.

[27:39] The sexual pleasure of marriage is only just a foretaste of the ultimate joy of being in a right relationship with God and being with him in his eternal kingdom forever.

[27:55] Turn with me please to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5.

[28:22] Here Paul has been talking about marriage. A wonderful gift from God. He's been talking about how the wife gives herself to her husband and how the husband gives himself to his wife in every way.

[28:47] But this marriage relationship points to something better, to someone who is greater. Let's pick it up in verse 25.

[29:00] Husbands, love your wives. Well, how do we do that? Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

[29:15] You see, our earthly marriages, if we can call it that, are pointing to a greater marriage between Christ and his people.

[29:28] Verse 26, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word or through the gospel, to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

[29:56] Do you see what he's saying here? In all that we have said so far, you who are overcome with guilt and shame, you who have the stain of sexual sin, he's saying, come to Jesus because he loves you, because God sent his son Jesus Christ into the sexual chaos of this world.

[30:25] He came to rescue us from the brokenness of our sinful choices. In love, verse 25, he gave himself up for her.

[30:37] Jesus gave himself up for us, that is, he died for us on the cross. He takes all of our impurity on himself so that we in turn might receive his purity.

[30:52] He did this so that we would be made beautiful for him like a bride dressed for her husband. How wonderful is that?

[31:06] Come to Jesus. Let us confess our most hidden and secret sin. Trust in him and he will cleanse us.

[31:18] He will wash away your sin forever. Verse 27, he will present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless.

[31:40] You see, as we entrust ourselves to Christ, we are in Christ, the only one who is truly beautiful and right and pure and so God will look at you and see the beauty and purity of his son and you will remain in his presence and enjoy his good gifts forever.

[32:05] You see, through Christ all our sin and guilt is dealt with. We are now pure ready as a bride for that ultimate marriage to come when Christ comes again and takes his church to be with him in the new heavens and the new earth.

[32:27] A life with Christ where there is joy and pleasures now and forevermore. Don't listen to the silky words of sexual freedom.

[32:44] It will destroy you. Instead, let us together listen to the wisdom of God's words because they are good and they will save you.

[33:00] Let's pray. pray. Let's pray. Let's pray. Let's Let's pray. Father, thank you that your word is like honey, sweet as a honeycomb.

[33:36] it is good and it is right. Thank you for your good design of us for our lives and for the good gifts that you give to us.

[33:52] Father, help us to live according to your path and your wisdom and your ways. Help us forever to run to Christ, to receive from him cleansing, washing.

[34:13] Thank you that in Christ all that is freely available in abundance for every kind of sin. Help us to walk in your paths this week.

[34:28] Help us to reflect your good design to the world in which we live. Help us to point others to Jesus. And it's in his name we pray.

[34:42] Amen.