How do we DO This? Ladies

[0:00] Please take your Bibles and go to the book of Titus.

[0:14] Titus. Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus. 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus.

[0:26] If you had Philemon, Hebrews, or James, you went too far. Titus, chapter 2. If you're visiting with us and you need a Bible, there's a black Bible in the chair in front of you.

[0:37] Pull that out and find page 168. Towards the back of that Bible, 168, Titus chapter 2. And we're in this section of verses 1 through 10.

[0:49] From verse 1, you yourself speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine. Then he goes and lists it off. Older men to younger men, older women to younger women. And then to Titus himself, who was an older man and yet a younger man.

[1:04] So you have five different groups. And today, we're going to look at older women to younger women. Last week, we looked at older men, younger men, and also Titus.

[1:15] So today, chapter 2, starting in verse 3. Chapter 2, verse 3. Older women likewise, in their behavior reverent, not slanderers, not enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, in order that they may urge the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, submitting to their own husbands that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

[1:57] One woman wrote the following. This is a quote.

[2:10] What really does work to increase the feeling of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping. Housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your home.

[2:32] Whether you live alone or with a spouse, parents, and 10 children, is your housekeeping that makes your home alive, that turns it into a small society in its own right, a vital place with its own ways and rhythms, the place where you can be more yourself than you can be anywhere else.

[2:52] Despite these rewards, American housekeeping and home life are in a state of decline. Comfort and engagement at home have diminished to the point that even simple cleanliness and decent meals, let alone any deeper satisfactions, are no longer taken for granted in many middle class homes.

[3:12] Homes today often seem to operate on an ad hoc basis. Wash days, anytime anyone throws a load into the machine. And laundering skills are in a precipice decline.

[3:26] Dishes are washed when the dishwasher is full. Meals occur anytime or all the time or what amounts to the same thing. Never has people served more and more prepared and semi-prepared foods.

[3:38] And although a large enthusiastic minority of home cooks grow more and more sophisticated, the majority become even more de-skilled. Dirt, dust, and disorder are more common in middle class homes than they used to be.

[3:53] Cleaning and neatening are done mostly when the house seems out of control. Bedding decreases in refinement, freshness, and comfort even as sales of linens, pillows, and comforters increase.

[4:06] It's not in goods that the contemporary household is poor, but in comfort and care. And later she says, Inadequate housekeeping is part of an unfortunate cycle as people turn more and more to outside institutions that have their needs met for food, comfort, clean laundry, relaxation, entertainment, society, rest.

[4:26] Domestic skills and expectations further diminish, in turn decreasing the chance that people's homes can satisfy their needs. The result is far too many people who long for home even though they seem to have one.

[4:45] That was by Cheryl Mendelsohn in her book called Home Comforts, The Art and Science of Keeping House. And she's not a Christian.

[5:02] She's not a believer. As a matter of fact, she received her PhD in philosophy from the University of Rochester and her JD from Harvard Law School.

[5:16] Plus, she practiced law in New York City and taught philosophy at Purdue and Columbia University's, her book, Home Comforts, what I read from, in 2019, quote, was ranked by Slate as one of the 50 best non-fiction books of the past 25 years.

[5:36] And it's thick. It's like that thick. This is shocking to hear. In the beginning of the book, she talked about how she grew up with grandmothers who taught her about homemaking.

[5:58] Only later she repudiated it due to becoming the woman of our culture. She grew up in the 60s and 70s. And then, I just read this briefly.

[6:14] This is, my wife got the book, so that's how I found it. In the beginning of the book, she talked about how she lived a double life. She would, like, work by day, but she kept this keeping house thing secret because she knew it was against the culture and she didn't want anybody to know.

[6:36] She talks about that. It's kind of funny. She's working, but she's homemaking. If a person who doesn't proclaim to know Christ speaks of these things as good to do, how much more should you women be known for these things?

[7:00] And I say that graciously. According to Paul, to Titus, well, let's put it this way. According to God, this is how you ladies can demonstrate the truth.

[7:16] Remember, it's demonstrate the truth. Well, how do we do this? How do you demonstrate the truth? The questions we posed last week, how do we specifically demonstrate the truth in our daily living?

[7:33] How does it work itself out? How does it put flesh on the bones? The bones of sound doctrine. You need sound doctrine. What does it look like in daily living?

[7:48] How do we specifically demonstrate the truth in our daily living? Another question we ask. What are practical ways, how, we demonstrate the truth? And remember, the book of Titus, it's all about this, how redemption leads to sanctification.

[8:10] How God saves us so that He may change us to belong to Him and demonstrate His grace to demonstrate the truth, to demonstrate Him at work in our lives.

[8:21] or, right living flows from right thinking. We're redeemed from lawless deeds so that we'd be zealous for good deeds.

[8:39] And this sound doctrine must lead to godly living. We should want to live in a way that the gospel is not defamed.

[8:50] And we need God's grace to do this. Can't do this on our own. Our godly conduct should commend the gospel.

[9:05] And that's what you see here. This is one of the major ways our relationship should be defined in this church. And last week for you men, I posed questions to you specifically.

[9:25] And so ladies, I pose the same questions to you now. Am I involved in this kind of relationship? Is this a major aspect in my life being a part of this church?

[9:38] Am I searching for a relationship where I can connect with somebody and allow them to build into my life and they're building into my life? I'm building to them, they're building to me. The older women teaching the younger women.

[9:52] This is what church life should look like. This is what what's called life on life discipleship. So notice how he begins.

[10:08] First, older women, this is how. Verse 3. Older women likewise, what you older men are also called to be. Paul gave instructions on godliness to older men.

[10:20] So older women should demonstrate the truth or adorn the truth in these specific ways. Older women likewise, in their conduct, reverent. or what's befitting a holy person, daily holy living.

[10:36] Interesting. It's similar to what Paul said to Timothy in chapter 2 verse 10. Her disposition and really all of life to her is sacred.

[10:50] Interesting, that word reverent is where you get the word priest. priest. So she's a holy, godly woman of God.

[11:05] And notice he says the negative and their behavior, reverent, not slanders. Diabolish, where you get the word devil.

[11:18] Devil. She's not talking trash about others. Gossiping or speaking negatively of people in the church or to others.

[11:37] Not being judgmental and critical. She thinks and speaks positive elements of people in her family, in the body, people she knows. I mean, her words are just full of grace.

[11:49] Grace. She's not slandering. She's not enslaved to much wine.

[12:01] Drinking is never forbidden in Scripture. It's the abuse of alcohol. Drunkenness. Or our culture calls it alcoholism. But it's not a disease.

[12:13] It's first and foremost sin. It's used to get a certain desire. But for this woman, she should not let herself be controlled or dominated by wine or anything else for that matter.

[12:32] And then he says at the end of verse 3, teaching what is good. And what Paul does, he's going to list out those items that are good for the older women to teach the younger women.

[12:49] And so, keep in mind, these are not, what he's going to list out next, these are not just character qualities for the younger women, these qualities are also for the older women too.

[13:00] So you're living it but you're teaching it as well. So keep that in mind as an older woman you're teaching the younger women to be these, to live Christ out in this way.

[13:15] You're living it and you're teaching it. You're teaching it and living it. So older women, this is how. Younger women, this is how. Verse 4. In order that they may encourage or urge or advise, this is how these young women can demonstrate the truth.

[13:36] Remember, good, practical, sound theology yields good fruit. Always yields good fruit. so urge them and encourage them advise them heartily.

[13:56] These young women and remember it's the older women by example who are training the younger women. Notice they train the young women he says here in verse 4 to love their husbands to love their children.

[14:12] not meet with a bunch of women and talk trash about your husband. That's slandering them.

[14:26] Not talking trash about your kids. I mean ladies, you should love your man dearly and your kids and you're commanded to adore your husband first.

[14:42] He's your first priority because when the kids are gone, that guy's still around. Then your children. This is first, foremost, this is what means to be most.

[14:55] This will be so healthy for a healthy marriage. Love your man. Love your husband. Love your husband. Adore him.

[15:07] It's so needed for you older women to encourage the younger ones to love their husbands. Divorce is just rampant in our culture.

[15:20] And to love their children instead of loving your career. Why? Because selfishness, it rules our culture, doesn't it?

[15:35] Now, it's not to say that husbands don't need to love their wives and their children. He doesn't say that about them. Well, they're given their own commands, the guys.

[15:46] And they're called to love the body, which includes wives and children. And then later, he's going to command them all to love the way God loved. That's what you're going to see in chapter 3. So guys don't get out of that.

[16:01] So younger women, younger women, this is how. Love your husband. Love your children. Notice, he says, verse 5, sensible. You know what that means.

[16:13] It means to be prudent. And he's used this with all five groups. Prudent or thoughtful or self-controlled. Pure.

[16:28] In other words, morally, in the way they live, they're pure. And workers at home to be diligent homemakers.

[16:40] That's her main focus. This is the domain of the queen. So God calls her to focus her attention on working in the home.

[16:58] Well, automatically, he says, well, I work in a job. I mean, I'm not supposed to work. Doesn't necessarily mean she shouldn't work outside the home. Doesn't mean that. But Paul wanted Titus to understand a woman's main responsibility is in the home.

[17:12] He wants them to understand this because in our culture it's so not like that.

[17:26] And it's hard. this can be hard for many women especially because of the major influence from our culture where a woman is more concerned about her career than the home and then thinks her husband, well, how come he doesn't pull his weight around here?

[17:47] He's got to come home and pull his weight around here. That's the attitude. Ladies, that's wrong. It should not be like that.

[18:00] That's how bad feminism has infiltrated into the church. No, my dear women. No. God says it's your responsibility.

[18:13] And it's hard work. I mean, you're organizing, you're leading, especially if you have kids. Directing, arranging, managing, structuring. I mean, I got seven of them at home.

[18:23] My wife does this. I mean, it's hard work. But yet, the influence of our culture is that hill-making stuff is trivial, is menial, it's worthless.

[18:39] What you're doing doesn't mean anything. Not according to our Lord. This is how you ladies truly display sound doctrine at work in your life.

[18:54] You take care of your home. And you should see these young gals and encourage them towards that. Encourage them. Love your man.

[19:05] Love him. Love your kids. Work diligently at home. Do that. women. So, a woman's main concern is being a loving wife and a loving mother.

[19:22] Notice the relationships in her home. She focuses on her own piety and focuses on working hard in the home. This is sound doctrine put into practice.

[19:33] okay so what about single women what are they supposed to do what do they do because they have to work well there's probably a difference in some way women with young kids versus a woman with older kids a woman with young kids they need to be home more definitely whereas the latter they may be able to work but really in both cases shouldn't the local church come alongside these moms why hasn't the local church come alongside these single women to help them in that way help them financially in other words why hasn't that happened i've never heard of that have you i mean if the church was called to help out those who were true older widows first timothy chapter five younger women widows should get considered really considered getting remarried then the church should help these women who need to stay home and take care of their kids how come that hasn't happened now there may be different ways to handle different situations so probably should be handled on a case-by-case basis true but all that to say the principle from god's word still stands for women and notice as well right after this workers at home verse five then he says kind so she she should not only be hard-working but gentle a woman who's considerate of others i mean busy being busy so uh being so busy excuse me working in the home she could be tempted to be cranky to be harsh to be irritable no instead they're encouraged to be keepers of the house with sweetness notice notice too the first pair that paul gives to titus here deals with her relationships in the home the second period the pair deals with her own piety the third pair deals with her activity and attitude and then he closes off the section by saying paul saying to titus calling these older women to teach the younger women subjecting to their own husbands submitting themselves to their own husbands she is under the authority of her husband he is the one who is the head the leader of the home so she should not only love her husband but she should also submit to him and again this is not talking about her worth just because she's submitting him doesn't mean she's inferior you have to submit to the police doesn't mean that you're inferior to them that's ridiculous of course not jesus submits himself to the father doesn't mean he's inferior to the father of course that's ridiculous why is it taken this way it shouldn't be it doesn't mean women are inferior she's equal but it's a different role this is the role that she has so you either repudiate it or you embrace it and notice this is what's the driving force of this the end of verse 5 that the word of god may not be in the literal word is blasphemed so that the message of the gospel may not be blasphemed

[23:34] you younger and older women should demonstrate the truth in these ways so that the gospel of christ may not be blasphemed spoken ill so nobody would speak evil of the gospel speak evil of christianity if a wife is insubordinate if she disrespects her husband or does not love her children if her house is a wreck and she is impure having a gossiping attitude and being unkind non-christians would say christianity makes people worse not better there's no change she's just like me but when they see a woman who adores her husband and her kids who submits to him her husband who works hard in the home but is so kind gracious gentle and godly the diamond of the gospel is on dazzling display chapter 2 verse 10 you adorn the gospel maybe we should have titled titus like this the dazzling display of the truth life has been drastically changed for her god has done a work in her heart and isn't that what the gospel is i mean we we see the justice of god we see that we're sinners and and he should condemn us but yet we see his love that he shows us in christ who died for sinners resurrected from the dead and the response repent and trust christ and he'll be saved he'll change you redeem you forgive you are you here not a christian he'll do that for you he'll save you he'll change you he'll redeem you he'll forgive you that's the gospel you should repent and trust christ you should come to him and respond to the gospel because in the gospel life is drastically changes it does keep in mind these principles are trans-cultural in other words they shoot through culture or in other words these commands are not just relegated to titus the people of crete and this time period and remember it all hinges on verse 1 it hinges on this you yourself speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine what is proper for sound doctrine verses 2 through 10 so these are godly virtues for women from god's point of view this is good to be taught to women especially given how our culture repudiates everything this passage just mentioned feminism and even evangelical feminism goes against all that paul commanded titus to teach the women about how they can demonstrate the truth in sound living from sound doctrine our culture pushes against this and they push against this hard all you got to do you go home turn on the tv and even to the very commercials it pushes everything contradictory to what paul just expressed to titus to have the older women teach the younger women

[27:43] everything you be your own woman everything that's taught from our culture repudiates this and then churches have caved into it so now the church looks more and more like the world friends it should not be like that i mean do we do we really believe this is the word of god men we're called to be this do you really believe this is the word of god ladies you're called to this do you really believe this is god's word a few more words about these kinds of relationships to older to the younger a key aspect in this whole section is this is being teachable be teachable because older men you may need to have a younger man speaking to your life some of you older ladies you may need a younger lady to speak into your life because there might be a depth in their spirituality and i use that with a capital s coming from the holy spirit now our world says spirituality i'm not religious i'm spiritual yeah whatever you're borrowing from our language spiritual just means from the spirit okay so their spirituality from the spirit it's stronger than you they're more mature than you the younger person than you older men to younger men yes older women younger women yes but yet at the same time the question is are we teachable am i willing to learn from a younger man am i willing to learn from a younger lady are we teachable what does that mean means we swallow our pride and humble ourselves that's hard but yet god has been so gracious to us in the son his son who humbled himself becoming obedient to the point of death even death on the cross and by the power of the spirit we learn from our savior to humble ourselves us and say i'm ready teach me i need to be taught i'm foolish i need to hear and remember what we're going to see this next week remember god's grace is our motivation we want to adorn the gospel to put it on dazzling display by the way we live because god has been so gracious to us because he says starting in verse 11 for the grace of god has appeared god's been gracious to us god has saved us gracious to us by being our savior by sending christ he's been so kind he's been so merciful this is what motivates us this is what drives us so those questions again am i involved in this kind of relationship asking yourself the question am i involved in this kind of relationship how important is this to me how important is this should this be to me and is this a major aspect in your life being a part of this church saying is this a major aspect of my life being a part of this church

[31:47] this is what church life should really look like this is life on life discipleship we're saying god's grace is at work in my life in ways that were our lives have been redeemed so and then we celebrate this together we celebrate together by partaking the lord's supper i'm redeemed i'm saved god's been so gracious to me it reminds us of our love for our savior it reminds us that we don't do these things to do these things we do these things because the motivation is that god has been so kind to us and hopefully that will be able to help you to transition from from seeing all these commands that god gives to us and the motivation for that is our relationship for our savior as we ever take of the lord's supper as we ever partake of the elements of the bread and the juice remind yourself the relationship that you have with christ the relationship that you have with the father let's take a moment and pray okay