1 Timothy 5:1-16

[0:00] 1 Timothy 5, 1-16 Do not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a father. Treat younger men like brothers, older women like mothers, younger women like sisters in all purity.

[0:13] Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

[0:26] She who is truly a widow, left alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplication and prayers night and day. But she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

[0:40] Commend these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

[0:53] Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than 60 years of age, having been the wife of one husband and having a reputation for good works. If she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for all the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work, but refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry, and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.

[1:23] Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander, for some have already strayed after Satan.

[1:43] If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them, let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are really widows. This is the word of the Lord.

[1:54] Thanks be to God. Please be seated. I don't know how many of you grew up attending Sunday school.

[2:14] For those of you who did not, you'll need to know that on occasion, when you're in children's Sunday school, they'll give you a sheet of paper to make your own coloring on, or your drawing, and often at the bottom, there is a photocopied phrase or verse.

[2:39] Particularly, this is true for younger children, preschool. I remember when our children were very young, our oldest, kindergarten or below, he came home with just such a coloring sheet.

[2:56] And the phrase underneath the paper that he had colored on said, love your enemies. And we said to him, Noah, who are these people that he had drawn on there?

[3:10] And he said, oh, this is our family! Out of the mouth of babes. You know, there's a saying that goes something to the effect of you can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your relatives.

[3:32] Family is forever. Family is fixed. And bloodlines, by nature, well, they become the tie that binds.

[3:50] It's interesting, we've come to a moment in the letter here, where we'll see two major thoughts. That all pastoral leadership is to be exercised within the rubric of family.

[4:08] And that, secondly, all pastoral care actually begins within the context of family.

[4:19] Take a look. I hope you have it open. 1 Timothy 5. It should be of no surprise that we have these familial terms in verses 1 and 2.

[4:36] Terms that really push pastoral leadership to be exercised from the vantage point of family. Here, older men are actually to be treated as you would a father.

[4:52] A familial term. Younger men as brothers. Older women as mothers. Younger women as sisters. We're not surprised because chapter 3, verse 15, we learned that Paul viewed the entire church as what?

[5:12] The household of God. And early in the letter, he appealed to us to speak to God or to know God as father.

[5:25] A newly constituted family. So often in the New Testament epistles, then, you'll have a word brothers, which is intended to mean brothers and sisters.

[5:43] Family. Family. So we're not surprised, but here it is. The first of the two major divisions of our text, pastoral leadership requires that the young pastor, Timothy in this case, see the church as family.

[6:04] Well, it would have been difficult, I think, for Timothy, perhaps needed, because he, if you remember, he didn't ask for this appointment in Ephesus.

[6:21] He didn't even necessarily grow up intending to be a father within the family of the household of faith. It actually says that you got where you are today, son, because of a prophecy that was made over you and the laying on of hands.

[6:41] And indeed, when Paul came through the region where Timothy was a young man, it says that Paul wanted to bring him with him. So here he is, growing up, a young boy among boys.

[6:54] And at some point, late adolescence, early adulthood, there is a prophetic word given concerning him and his gifts for the well-being of the church.

[7:06] And Paul himself wants to take him along. And Timothy is thrust into this temporary pastoral context in Ephesus where all things are breaking loose in unhealthy ways.

[7:20] And so he says, Timothy, remember, pastoral leadership requires that you view the entire congregation as family.

[7:33] I love this opening phrase. Do not rebuke an older man. The word rebuke there literally elsewhere is to strike physically.

[7:45] Timothy, don't come to an older man in the church who maybe has gone away from the gospel and is even teaching things not in accordance with the gospel.

[7:57] A man that I have told you even to command that they stop doing these things but never in a pugilistic sense. Treat him as you would a father.

[8:10] A great, great thing to remember. Often, well, not often, thank goodness. on occasion in my pastoral ministry where I have had encounters with older men in the church that required sensitivity of engagement.

[8:27] I've come back to this to remind myself as father, almost as if I could view my own dad. How would I approach my dad on this life situation or in this church situation?

[8:44] And what happens when you begin to do that? When you begin to think of church as family, your constitutional approach is altered for the good.

[8:57] So he says, pastoral leadership is to be exercised within the context of family. You're actually supposed to encourage him as you would a father.

[9:09] it's interesting that there are older men in the church who need, in the language of our translation here, encouragement. It's actually more like an appeal.

[9:20] Exhort them. It's important for us to remember that, especially in a congregation that is increasingly mixed in age. The tendency for us as younger folks, I'll say us, why not?

[9:35] It will be fun for me to do so. It's the thing, you know, the older guys, they've got all the life experience, and they're still in church.

[9:47] Everything's good. But yet, even they need exhortation. They need appeal. They need two arms on the shoulders saying, fight the fight.

[10:00] Walk. Let us walk with you. Older men need it. No one is a self-made man. He's to treat younger men as brothers.

[10:16] I've got three brothers. There have been times I wanted to kill my brothers. That's not what this means, of course. There's a bond between brothers that is deep.

[10:30] I just saw three of my brothers. All of them were in Chicago at the same time. They abandoned me for years. We all grew up in the area, but they've since left. But given that my daughter was being married, they returned and there was a couple of days when all four hound boys were in the city together.

[10:48] The immediacy of that knowledge, there is a connection there that says, you know what? Treat every other young man in the church as you would your own brother or your own brother when you think of the idealistic way in which that relationship should be.

[11:10] Older women as mothers with care, concern, foresight, planning. Younger women as sisters, and notice he says with all purity, and the idea there is sexual.

[11:32] That the pastor is to be sexually pure in the midst of the family. In fact, the younger women in the church are to be treated as sisters, which is what makes infidelity within the family of God so difficult.

[11:54] It's familial. people. And so the pastor, he says, as you begin to take over your charge in Ephesus, remember that pastoral leadership is completely done within the context of family.

[12:13] What a great thing. Notice what he does next. The two major thoughts of the day. And the second one, really three through the end of the reading, verse 16, pastoral care begins with family.

[12:31] Verses three through eight. Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

[12:49] She who is truly a widow left all alone has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who is self-indulgent is dead even when she lives.

[13:01] Command these things as well so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own relatives and especially for members of his household, he's denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

[13:14] The young pastor was to tell his congregation that pastoral care begins within families. Now this is important because some have said that Jesus reorients family to such an extent that the nuclear family loses its importance and we're the real family.

[13:38] As if your relationship to your parents doesn't matter anymore. Or as Jesus said, unless you hate your father and mother, you can't follow me. It's almost as if in a perverted way some begin to think that Christianity is revolutionary.

[13:54] By that I mean it overturns all of those social structures. But that was there from the very beginning. And Christianity which we need to hear about is that pastoral care begins within the home.

[14:07] In other words, as the pastor views the church as family, the first line of care for you is your own family. that's something that we all need to think about.

[14:23] I want to just look at three aspects of this family first. Your family first idea. The first is this. Notice the responsibility to care for in this case widows, a mother who has lost her father to death or her husband to death, is to be done within the context of the family, not the church.

[14:49] The responsibility is theirs. 4A. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and make some return to their parents.

[15:01] Now I want to say a word. If you're in grade school, junior high, high school, or college, look your mother in the eye or get an image of her in your eye.

[15:18] You got it? She is your responsibility in the closing years of life or whenever in life she would so be constituted as to be on her own.

[15:36] You can be in grade school today and have come to church and be learning that your family is your concern and that your mother who mothered you is to receive some return from you when she is on her own.

[15:57] Can I get an amen from all the mothers? It's true. The responsibility is yours. not only that, take a look, the reward is great.

[16:14] What happens when the church begins to care, that is, particular families begin to care for their own aging parents or a widow, a mother who is now on her own?

[16:29] Look at the reward. verse 4b, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. That you, you ask yourself, how do I please God today?

[16:44] Take care of your mother. This is pleasing in the sight of God. You want God's blessing upon your life?

[16:55] If she is destitute and alone, care for her. How you care for her, well that's going to be very diverse. Depends on her need, her moment, her proximity.

[17:07] But it is pleasing to God. I want to mention a couple things. this week, wrote a brief email to a few different families in our family here.

[17:20] Families that I know, some of them are actually caring for their parents in their elderly age. I just said, what are you learning? Listen to what one person in our church wrote back to me this week.

[17:37] I had pointed them to this text. This person writes, I often refer back to this passage as a reminder for why we are doing what we are doing.

[17:48] In fact, just last week, I read it several times to encourage me as I hit a tough spot. Caring for elderly parents seems very unnatural.

[17:59] I'm parenting my parent. Yet I can think of few verses that are so explicit about pleasing God by your actions.

[18:11] Caring for an elderly parent is serving day in and day out. Mine requires care, medication, help getting out of bed, getting dressed, finances, cutting food.

[18:27] Providing for care in this way reminds me of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. God wants us to be servants to those around us, so this is an opportunity for me to be conformed into His image.

[18:41] I wish sanctification was an easy process, but it's not. The good news is that I rest in the fact that I am truly where I believe God wants me to be, and this is always a good place to be.

[18:58] Let me just say a word of, I guess, experiential wisdom. When we started this church 15 years ago, I was the oldest man in the congregation.

[19:12] Well, after a year and a half, well, Mulholland came in very soon. That was very nice of him. And Gary Round was here as an elder for a brief time and then moved to Indiana.

[19:25] I felt like I was the oldest man in the congregation, one of them. I remember thinking, when will we have a congregation that runs the gamut of ages?

[19:36] That is fast becoming a reality because those many families who began this church family are now at an age where they are beginning to return to their own family to care for their parents in a way that would be pleasing to God.

[19:55] The next ten years in our church, this will be increasingly happening. We will be dealing with this weekly, the care of parents.

[20:07] Godliness. And this is something that is learned. Notice the text. Let them first, verse 3, learn to show godliness to their own household.

[20:24] I look forward to the next ten and fifteen years here as this congregation learns godliness in the care of an elderly generation.

[20:41] I have sat in family gatherings, let me get very practical, that I would commend to you where those who were involved began to pull siblings together to say, you know what, mom and dad or mom is getting older or is now on our own, we need to sit down and ask some questions.

[21:05] I have actually sat where people have opened this verse with their siblings and said, this is our responsibility, how will we carry it out?

[21:16] It might be worth doing that, and it might be worth doing it before you think you need to do it. You'll always do it before your elderly parents think you need to do it.

[21:28] I mean, I've told my family, you know, when they take your keys, when they take your keys, it's over. So I will be hiding car keys, 50, 60 sets all over my house.

[21:41] Because if I can't remember a thing, I'm going to want to find a set and drive. But I've been in the intimate moments of watching siblings, that's what happens when you're a pastor, sometimes you're in places you don't really know how you get there, but I've watched, I've watched, as note cards have come on a table and said, answer this question as brothers and sisters.

[22:09] What is your desire for mom or dad in this last season of life? What is your heart's desire for them that they would flourish? Write it down and we'll read it together.

[22:21] I've seen individuals say, now who is going to care for the financial aspect? What about the medical aspect? What about housing? I've seen parents actually sit down, do you want to be in your own place?

[22:35] How long do you want to be there? When is it right to not be there? As children are learning godliness through a commitment to their elderly mother.

[22:49] What a wonderful thing. I commend it to you to meet periodically. I've watched how it safeguards siblings when they are all vested on the spiritual well-being of their parents.

[23:07] Whereas in some families there is a disintegration of relationship, it can actually be a season of a reconstitution of relationship. Divide the load.

[23:23] Share the weight. Walk together in a way that pleases God. So first, a word to the pastor regarding his leadership.

[23:36] View all the church as family. Second, a word to the church. Pastoral care begins with you in your family. And then third, it looks like the church actually does begin to care for widows.

[23:56] Look at verse 9 and following, 9 and 10. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than 60 years of age, having been the wife of one husband and having a reputation for good works.

[24:08] If she has brought up children and shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. Notice, the enrollment of a widow for the church to care for her is granted.

[24:24] It seems that there must have been almost a list, and widows were added to the list or enrolled, and the church had a responsibility to care for them.

[24:40] Actually, the word here that governs the whole in verse 3 is honor. And the word honor has two aspects to it.

[24:51] One is a condition where you would esteem someone as worthy. But the word also carries a commercial distinction of things that have a certain worth.

[25:03] So that in Acts, where Philip sells a field and brings the proceeds to the apostles, it's the same word here.

[25:16] The proceeds are the honors. There's a financial aspect to this. So when it talks about enrolling someone, it actually is esteeming them, but it actually has a financial underlay where you are to support, strengthen, and uphold a widow who is truly a widow.

[25:35] That's the church's responsibility. You understand that it carries a connotation of monetary value when you see the other uses of honor in this chapter.

[25:47] We'll look next week at chapter 5, verse 17, and it talks about honoring elders who preach and teach, and it couples it with the muscling or not muscling of an ox, financial remuneration for spiritual gifts given.

[26:03] You'll see it again in chapter 6, verse 1, when it talks about doing honor for those who are financially supporting you in your work. You'll see the following context in chapter 6, where the false teachers are all greedy for this kind of honor or money.

[26:19] But nevertheless, the church has a monetary responsibility for widows, the enrollment of them, the care for them. You know, we take an offering periodically here, a second offering on certain Sundays, normally the Sunday after communion, where those funds go to particular families who are in duress in the congregation.

[26:46] In the first century, there seems like there was obviously a movement within widows where they cared for them, all the way down to food and rent and well-being. What a great church to be a part of, where we are honoring widows in this way.

[27:04] So, the text is unfolding. Pastor, view the church as family. In regard to care, your family first.

[27:17] Second level of care, the church is second. But then notice in verses 11 and following that even the church is not obligated to care for all the families.

[27:32] This is surprising. It says, but refuse to enroll some. What a striking thing. I mean, we all understand James 1.27 where the care of orphans and widows is what true religion is.

[27:48] But there seems to be a discriminating aspect even within the church. The church is not obligated to financially care for everybody, even in the church.

[27:58] there's a discriminating nature to Christian care. And if there are those who are, he says here, younger, there is a sense where, well, the church isn't necessarily going to care.

[28:20] Two reasons are given. And I need to spend probably three minutes on this because it's a little confusing when you first read it. there's a complexity here in view. He gives two reasons why you would refuse to enroll a younger widow.

[28:34] First, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so occur condemnation having abandoned their former faith. Second, in addition to that, or besides that, they learn to be idlers going about from house to house and not only idlers but also gossips and bitty by saying what they should not say.

[28:55] So he says, don't enroll younger widows because when their passions go, they're going to want to get married. But then look at the irony of it. His anecdote to it all, verse 14, is that he would have younger widows marry.

[29:09] So what's going on here? The reader is being asked to supply something that he is not given. One of two things is possible.

[29:23] You are either to refuse to enroll younger widows because they had taken a vow, unsaid in the text, that they would serve now the church, but then later wanting to get married, walk away from that vow, or you would refuse to enroll younger widows because their passions would draw them and they would actually want to marry, but not just marry, you would have to supply, marry an unbeliever.

[29:56] And marrying an unbeliever then would incur condemnation and they would actually abandon what was their former faith. In other words, they would say, in order for me to be cared for, I'm getting married.

[30:06] I know he's not a believer. Paul says, well, don't enroll them, don't take care of them, because that actually already seemed to be taking place. for myself, I've come to think that either one of those requires the reader to supply information that we're not given here.

[30:27] But it seems to make more sense of the text that he has the marrying to an unbeliever in mind, given the degree of condemnation that's placed upon the action, namely that they would have abandoned their former faith.

[30:43] So what he wants is for younger widows to get married in the Lord and begin living productive lives in Christian faith, rather than having the church care for them.

[31:01] The second reason is given there, they would learn to be idlers, going about from house to house. I've thought about the only thing, the image that's been in my mind on this, I don't know if you've seen the movie The Help.

[31:16] But there is a gaggle of women in the movie who get together at various homes and play bridge and are constantly in all this kind of flitting activity, living unproductive, unhealthy, ungodly lives.

[31:37] And he says, in one sense, a younger widow, he does not want her supported by the church, lest she just begin to almost be like a socialite in that way and living an unhealthy life.

[31:54] So this is the care that takes place within the congregation. Pastor, begin viewing the church as family. parishioner, first line, you take care of your family.

[32:09] The church takes care of certain families. The church is not under obligation to all families. And so the summary in verse 16, bringing it all back together, if any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them.

[32:29] Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows. Indeed. As we come to the end, I got another note from someone else in our congregation.

[32:45] And I love what this individual says. The individual indicates that one of their spouse's mothers passed away some years ago.

[33:01] And they write, we could have done a better job in caring for her. Other life concerns occupy us.

[33:12] They draw upon our resources, time, energy, money, that needy parents can get little or nothing unless we are more intentional.

[33:25] Then the individual writes, for several reasons, I feel that we are doing a better job now. And then indicates another parent that they're caring for. They write, we're at a different stage of life as it relates to raising and caring for our children financially and in aging ourselves.

[33:45] I love this phrase. Our sensitivities are heightened. And that's what I want for us today. I want Holy Trinity Hyde Park to truly be as family.

[34:03] Not literally family. Not family in a way that does away with your family. But as family. You look at an older man in this congregation, someone even as old as Pastor Jackson.

[34:17] And many of you would say, Father, rather than grandfather. See, you just got younger today. We all see you as Father.

[34:27] Father. I love it when I get them on age. When you see other men in the congregation, brother, older women, mother, younger women, sister, in all purity.

[34:55] What a great thing then to come to the table. To realize, even as we've sung earlier, that one day Christ will seat us at His table, His home, and serve us.

[35:10] And even now, He serves us. May you commune with Him. And even as you see the faces and the names and the individuals who are standing and waiting to demonstrate their participation with Him, may you be prayerfully committing to them as family.

[35:33] Our Heavenly Father, strengthen us now as we come to the table. We thank you that Christ is our brother and also our Lord.

[35:47] In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen.