[0:00] I was actually thinking of the concept of planting versus established. Me and trees have this kind of battle we've been doing for the last three years of like, I am going to plant trees that live, and then they say, no, we will die.
[0:19] And I have this pine tree that I planted at the beginning of the year. I planted four of them. One of them, it's planted, right? It's planted. But it is not established.
[0:29] And I feel like it's dying from the bottom up. So just the very top has got this green part, and then all the rest is brown. And I don't think that one's going to make it. But you can plant something without it being established.
[0:43] And so this church is planted, but is it established? Not quite yet. We're working on that, right? And we're all doing our part. So I want to speak into that a little bit today.
[0:53] And the message that I want to preach today is becoming relationship poor so that others can become relationship rich.
[1:03] Okay? Becoming relationship poor so others can become relationship rich. Now, in this church plant, we got this group of people together that the Lord put together.
[1:16] And we are building relationships and trying to get to know one another and build family together. Some of those are existing stronger relationships.
[1:28] Some aren't as much. And you got the mix of both. And then we have other relationships elsewhere. And so there's all kinds of dynamics in that.
[1:38] But some of the relational pressing into one another, sometimes it can be difficult, right? Sometimes it can start off good. And then it's like, okay, there's a little bit of wonkiness, right?
[1:49] As you get into the nitty-gritty of stuff. And that's, first of all, that's normal, right? That's... What relationship doesn't have a little wonkiness at some point in time?
[2:00] Or a little difficulty at some time? That is the nature of relationships. But I think there's ways that we can promote a certain level of unity and oneness and depth.
[2:12] And then there are ways that we can kind of shoot ourselves in the foot with that. And so I was having a conversation with a couple a few weeks ago, a month ago. And we were talking about what is required to build healthy church culture.
[2:25] And ended up talking about kind of this topic. I had been reading in 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians. And so some of these themes were... I was getting language for them.
[2:36] These are themes that we've been talking about for years. But I felt like some verses gave me better language for some of them. So I'm going to jump into that. Basically, I'm mostly going to be in 2 Corinthians in this whole message.
[2:50] We'll bounce around a little bit out of that. But mostly in 2 Corinthians. But I'm going to actually start in 1 Corinthians. To give you a little backdrop before we get into 2 Corinthians.
[3:01] And I'm going to start in 1 Corinthians chapter 12, 21 to 27. 1 Corinthians 12, 21 to 27 is talking about the necessity of all the parts of the body.
[3:15] And it says, verse 21, On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.
[3:30] On those parts of the body that we think less honorable, we bestow the greater honor. And our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require.
[3:41] But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.
[3:54] If one member suffers, all suffer together. If one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. But, okay.
[4:05] Side note, by the way, I know I told this to some of you, but just so you know, you guys deciding to go over to Bellicose to support the church, going through the grieving process with the loss of Caspian Vaughn, that meant a lot to a lot of people.
[4:20] So, good move on that one. Good job. That was, that blessed. I heard from a number of people that they were really appreciative that you guys all came over there and just mourned with them and comforted them.
[4:34] So, I just love that. And that's, to me, just an example of when one part suffers, we all suffer, you know. But he says the members, he says the reason that he's thinking about all this stuff is so that the members may have the same care for one another.
[4:48] And he starts that off by saying, hey, the eye can't say to the hand, I have no need of you, nor the head to the feet, I have no need of you. And so, in a real direct sense, we would all say, well, no one would ever say that, right?
[5:04] I would never like literally say, hey, listen, I have no need of you, you know. We wouldn't say it that outright, but we can actually live in such a way where we kind of live like that, you know.
[5:18] We might not say it, like, hey, I have no need of you. I'm fine on my own. But we can live in a way that I have these certain people that are my go-tos. I got my people where these are the people if I need to kind of open up, if I need to just relax, if I need to just get some quality time or some deep time, or if we're going to do something impactful together, those are my people.
[5:45] But I don't really need you for that because I have that with other people. So especially when you have new missional community starting and a new church starting, you can give off that impression that, hey, we're doing this because, you know, that's what we're supposed to do, right?
[5:59] You know, I'm supposed to be with you. I'm in your missional community. I'm with this church. But, I mean, I don't really need you because I got these people that are my people.
[6:10] I got these people where I get my life from. And so I do this with you, but I don't really need you for that. And what ends up happening is some people don't get the same care.
[6:23] And his concern here is that the members may have the same care for one another. Sometimes we're not able to give the right care to other people because we are too focused on these people where it's become easy.
[6:35] Your besties, the kind of people you've developed a relationship, you've already pushed through the wonkiness and the relational hardship. These are your people. You just know you can count on them. You know, yeah, we've had our thing, but that's kind of in the past.
[6:48] But since we've been there, done that, it's not going to happen anymore. So those are my people. And so you, I don't really want to do that again with you. I've already did that with a group of people. And that was a lot of work.
[7:01] So I'm just going to stick with these group of people. And I'll kind of, I'll hang around you and I'll do the church thing and I'll fulfill my religious obligation. But, you know, I'm not going to go, I don't really need you.
[7:11] And again, you wouldn't say it, but you say it. Does that make sense? Not so much? You with me? Okay, good. You have the same kind of thing when he talks about communion, actually.
[7:25] In 1 Corinthians 11, chapter before, verse 20, he says, when you come together, it's not the Lord's supper that you eat. For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal.
[7:36] One goes hungry and another gets drunk. And then he says in verse 24 with an exclamation point, what? What? Do you not have houses to eat and drink in?
[7:47] Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not. Skip in verse 29. He says, for anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself.
[8:02] And then in verse 33, he says, so then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. If anyone's hungry, let them eat at home. So when you come together, it will not be for judgment.
[8:13] Essentially, he's saying you can't live church life together in a way that's independent of the body. You can't just say, well, I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm going to eat as much as I want, drink as much as I want.
[8:25] And then you find out, oh, there's not enough for everybody. But I don't really care about that. He's saying, hey, you have to care about that. And it's one thing to do that with food.
[8:36] But we could do that relationally, right? Where you just say, well, I have this relational thing with some people, but I don't really need it with other people. And I don't really, I just, I got my thing here going and it's good.
[8:49] But it's kind of the same thing. One goes hungry and another gets drunk, right? One is hungry for relationship. Another one has plenty of relationship, but we don't care as much about the people who don't have as close a relationship.
[9:03] And that can be a problem, right? Some people might say, even going into this church plant, they might have said six months ago, I'm good at relationships.
[9:15] I'm good at all the work that it takes to build that and get close to one another. I'm good at that. And my question to you is, are you? Because if you're only good with some people, then you're not necessarily good at it.
[9:29] You may have thought maybe that you're good at something because you have it with some people. But if you're not able to spread that with other people, you're not as good as you think you are at building relationships.
[9:40] And some of us, I believe in this church, need to stretch our relational muscles. Some of us haven't worked out in a while relationally. We're a little stiff.
[9:52] We're a little wonky. And you might say, well, what are you even talking about? I'm saying, it's like, you're saying we don't do relationships? I'm saying, no, you do easy relationships maybe. But what about the ones that are harder?
[10:04] What about the ones that take more work? What about the ones you don't have a history with? What about the ones where you haven't worked through that stuff and you got to start from scratch with some people that you don't know as well?
[10:15] Have you worked out the soreness? Have you worked out the stiffness and said, I'm going to press through that and get to a place where the relationship is loose in a good sense, where it's flexible, where it's real?
[10:30] I think that there's some people who maybe have come into this thinking, oh, this is going to be easy because I'm good at relationship. But you can think you're good at relationship because you have certain people that you're good at it with.
[10:45] But if you're not good at it with everybody, you're probably not that good at it. And that's something I want to challenge us with, to at least just think about. Ask that question. How am I with that?
[10:56] How am I with relationship? And don't base it on your best friends. Base it on how it is with the stranger. Base it on how it is with the person who's new.
[11:07] Base it on the person who you don't have history with in Christchurch that you're getting to know. How are you doing with that? Is it wonky? Is it difficult? And do you give up or do you persevere?
[11:19] That's the question I want to ask you. So let's get into our main text though. 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and 2 Corinthians chapter 8. So we'll start with the verse in 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 10.
[11:32] There's just this little phrase here that kind of frames what I'm talking about and then it gets elaborated more in 2 Corinthians chapter 8. 2 Corinthians 6.10 he says, there's this phrase in there where he says, we are poor yet making many rich.
[11:49] We're poor yet making many rich. Love that phrase. And then he elaborates on it in 2 Corinthians chapter 8. If you're in there you can move to chapter 8 verse 1.
[12:02] 2 Corinthians chapter 8 verse 1 says, We want you to know brothers about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia. For in a severe test of affliction their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part.
[12:19] For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints.
[12:33] Okay? And this not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us. Accordingly we urge Titus that as he had started, so he should complete among you this act of grace.
[12:46] But as you excel in everything, in faith and speech and knowledge and all earnestness, and in our love for you, see that you excel in this act of grace also. So he's talking about this monetary gift they're giving.
[12:57] These guys were giving above and beyond their means, and they didn't have a lot, and yet they were begging earnestly for the favor of taking part in this relief.
[13:11] Okay? So then in verse 8 he says, I say this not as a command, to see that you excel in this act of grace also, I say this not as a command, but to prove by the earnestness of others that your love also is genuine.
[13:24] Then in verse 9 he says, and this is the key verse here, For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.
[13:43] Okay? So he's talking about money there, but then when he talks about the motive for doing that, he speaks of how Jesus became poor so that others could become rich.
[13:53] And he's not talking about money there. He's not talking about Jesus had a lot of money, and then he decided to become poor, and he gave us a lot of money. Like, that's not what he's saying there. He's saying, no, this is bigger.
[14:06] And the specific of giving money, he then goes bigger and says, this is what Jesus modeled in a much bigger way. That this is a picture of the grace of God.
[14:17] That though Jesus was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. Okay? So, do you do this to other people?
[14:31] Do you ever become poor so that others become rich? And I'm not talking about even monetarily, although you could. There are things sometimes that we have that we give up to make other people have more.
[14:43] Right? And that's, Jesus modeled that better than anybody else. Okay? Let's look at this in the context of relationships. Romans 15 verse 7 says, welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you for the glory of God.
[14:58] Okay? So, we just got a picture of how Christ has welcomed us. So, we need to do the same thing. How has he welcomed us? Well, he took on poverty so that other people could take on being rich. Are we willing to do that?
[15:10] That involves sacrifice. To say, I will sacrifice what I have if it means that other people could have more. Right? James chapter 2, 15 through 17 says, if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?
[15:34] So also by faith, so also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. Let me reword this in thinking of it like relationships. Okay? If a brother or sister is relationship poor, lacking in relationship, and one of you says to them, go in peace, I hope you find good relationships.
[15:54] Without spending and being spent to give them deep familiar relationships, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
[16:05] Going to church meetings out of obligation, with no intention to connect deeply with the people that are there, because you already have your people you do that with, is one of the greatest ways to build shallow, insincere, off-putting church culture that no one needs, no one wants, no one likes, and that certainly falls short of the glory of God.
[16:29] Okay? Okay? We can't just say, well, yeah, I'm supposed to be a part of this missional community, or I'm supposed to relate to these people, so I'll do that out of religious obligation, but really, if I really want the goods, if I really want the deep stuff, if I really want that relational juices, you know, that I, I'm going to go to this person who's not in my missional community.
[16:53] I'm going to go to this person who's not even a part of our church, and I'm going to get it from them because I already know that one works. Right? We've got years together. We've got history together.
[17:05] And I know if I need the goods, I can always go to them to get the goods. Well, if you're always supplementing with that relationship outside of your missional community or outside of your church in general, what you're doing is making sure that it never happens in your missional community and it never happens in your church.
[17:22] Do you understand what I'm saying here? That's a really important thing. And so you can end up having this church culture where you basically do things out of religious obligation because it's like, well, I'm supposed to be with these people.
[17:37] This is my church or this is even more specifically, this is my smaller part of the church. This is my missional community. And so I'm going to spend time with them because that's what I'm supposed to do.
[17:49] But really, I'm not really in it to win it. My heart's not there. My heart's actually with these other people. And when I really need to get comfort or I really need to get friendship or I really want to have fun or I really want to do mission, I'll deal with them because I don't really know these people.
[18:06] And if everybody does that, then church really is lame. And God is not glorified because it's required that we connect in that deep way.
[18:18] and new people coming in, they need to experience that. You might say, well, I already have that. Well, so what? What about the person who doesn't have that? Are you going to be indifferent to them and just say, I'm good?
[18:32] If everybody did that, then new people would never experience the deeper life and the relationship that's necessary. So people might just say, well, can I, because I hear this all the time.
[18:44] I've heard this for years. Can't I just build with the people I'm close to? Right? I mean, yeah, I get this whole missional community thing. That's cute, Josh. You got, you like your church planning stuff and you like all your ideas and that's good for you, Josh.
[18:59] That's cool. But I mean, I don't really get into those people. Can I just build with, can we just form like a super missional community with like all the people who are my best friends? I mean, we would be awesome.
[19:11] And guess what? You probably would be. But then what about all those new people? What about the people who don't have the relationships you have? You just going to selfishly do your thing in the name of church while they don't have that?
[19:26] You can't do that. We can't do that. You know, it can't just be us four no more. Okay, what about the people who aren't close to anyone? How do they get close to other people?
[19:38] By sacrificing your best relationships to give the necessary time, energy, and heart to build with other people, you basically are becoming relationship poor so others can become relationship rich just like Jesus.
[19:55] What I'm saying is there's an element of sacrifice of the relationships you already have that's required to build those same kind of relationships with people you don't yet have.
[20:06] okay? Because you usually can't do both. There's not enough time in the day, weeks, months. You only have so much relational capital that you can build with and if it's all in this these relationships that are existing you're not going to be able to do it with other people but not to mention if you wanted to just hang out with the same people then you don't sign up for a church plant.
[20:34] You don't start you don't like no one put a gun to your head no one said hey you had to be a part of the church plant but by being a part of the church plant you're literally saying I'm going to sacrifice the time spent with the people who I already have developed and I'm going to get out of my comfort zone I'm going to become relationship poor on purpose sacrificing existing relationships in order that I may give other people relationship richness.
[21:01] I'm going to sacrifice this to work towards this and it's going to cost. Healthy church is expensive. It's expensive and at the end of the day some people don't want to pay the price.
[21:15] Some people don't want the price. It costs though. I think of my own experience in this you know over the years you know even when we've just anytime we've wanted to we've started a new missional community or a new iteration of a missional community we had to say okay I'm diverting my attention to these people in order to go deep with them.
[21:41] I'm going to sacrifice what I have with these other people to go deep with these people and a lot of times what happens is you have this kind of fear of relationship loss. Well if I do that I'm going to lose those relationships that are really good but that's the catch.
[21:56] In God's kingdom that's not how it works. If those are real if that's a real relationship you're not going to lose that you just gain new ones. Because Mark 8.35 says whoever would save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel will save it.
[22:15] And so we think oh if I if I sacrifice my existing relationships and the depth that I have with them in order to build to put the right relational capital into a different relationship and build that I will lose this but no by by losing it you gain.
[22:35] And over time what's happened is when Gene and I have done that with our family it's not that we've lost those relationships it's just been added on and on and on. And now we have so many great relationships because in different seasons of time we gave a lot of relational capital to go deep with a few.
[22:53] and then but we didn't lose the other ones. We didn't lose the other ones. It just keeps growing. And I know people psychologists and people will say like you can only handle so many.
[23:07] Says who? Says who? Does the word of God say that? Does the word of God say that you can't have that many good relationships? I don't care what those guys say. You can.
[23:18] I've seen it by experience. I've seen it in other people's lives but it takes sacrifice. It takes sacrifice. Are you willing to become relationship poor in one area so that someone else can become relationship rich?
[23:32] What kind of what a great gift to be able to give people but to multiply family and say I want to give you relationship richness. I've experienced something and now I want to give it to you.
[23:44] Because the question is is relationship generosity optional? Is it optional to be relationship generous? I don't think it is.
[23:55] Let's take a look. Let's look in 2 Corinthians a little bit more. There's this concept in 2 Corinthians that's hit a bunch of times and it's a biblical concept not just 2 Corinthians it's in the rest of scripture but just looking in 2 Corinthians here primarily it's this concept that when you're blessed the purpose of your blessing is to bless.
[24:18] So blessed to be a blessing. Blessed to bless. Let's take a look at it. 2 Corinthians chapter 1 verses 3 to 4 it says Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction.
[24:36] Stop there. Why? Comfort is a blessing. We've been blessed with comfort. Why does God give us comfort? Just for us? Just for us to enjoy?
[24:46] He comforts us in all our affliction next word so that okay so now he's telling us why so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
[25:01] So God comforts us so we can do what? Comfort others. He blesses us so we can bless others. Is it not true in the same way that he gives us an experience of deep relationship and family so that we can give it to other people who don't have that?
[25:18] Is that not what God wants? You know how many people I mean by far over the last 13 years almost every single person who I meet who's coming into church or is looking for a church they all say the same thing.
[25:32] Like what are you after here? What's going on? I just want community. You know if you there's studies done there's a loneliness epidemic right now in the world.
[25:44] People are just so lonely. Loneliness is the norm. Our technological culture right now is literally designed to create loneliness. Right?
[25:55] The way we do life is built that way. And so people don't have relationships. People don't know how to talk to one another. Texting has made it really weird.
[26:07] You know? People don't know how to talk face to face. They don't understand body language. They don't understand relating to one another. They certainly don't understand family. They don't understand what it's like to have relationships outside of blood that are like family.
[26:22] And most of the people don't even understand what it's like in an actual blood family. and if you have experienced that in family and outside of family in a spiritual family and you have a whole bunch of people all over Raytown all over Kansas City who have not experienced that and you have a whole bunch of other people even professing Christians who have not experienced that and you've been given that revelation and you know how to build it you know how to experience it you're relationship rich.
[26:52] If you then are not willing to become relationship poor so others can become relationship rich what does that say about us? Is that not selfish?
[27:04] Is that not just a slap in the face of the one who taught us to be relationship poor so others can be relationship rich? Jesus himself who became poor so that we could become rich? Isn't that just like a total forgetting of the gospel and that we've been cleansed from our past sin?
[27:20] We've been blessed to be a blessing. 2 Corinthians chapter 8 verse 14 he says this he says your abundance at the present time should supply their need so that their abundance may supply your need that there be any fairness.
[27:35] So again it's the same concept. Why are you given abundance? So that your abundance can supply their need. You've been blessed to be a blessing. Do you have an abundance of healthy relationships?
[27:48] Are you just so content with them that you're not willing to do the work to give other people that and to find that with other people? We can't be selfish in that. Your abundance at the present time is there so that you can supply someone else's need.
[28:03] Same thing in 2 Corinthians chapter 9 next chapter verse 6 he's speaking of finances again here but I think there's a bigger picture of giving.
[28:17] The point is this in verse 6 whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart not reluctantly under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver and God is able to make all grace abound to you so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times you may abound in every good work.
[28:40] As it is written he has distributed freely he has given to the poor his righteousness endures forever. he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.
[28:56] You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. So he's literally saying when you give he'll multiply your ability to give so you can give more because some people are like if I do this I won't have enough in the tank.
[29:13] that's not true. The Bible says that when you give faithfully he gives you power and ability he enriches you in every way to be generous in every way.
[29:25] You say if I become relationship poor I won't have enough to make others relationship rich. He says no you will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way. Your giving and becoming poor only makes it so that God gives you more to keep giving.
[29:41] That's the economy of God. Well if I give I won't have any left. No you will be he will supply and multiply your seed not for yourself but for sowing.
[29:52] He'll multiply your seed for sowing and you'll be enriched in every way to be generous in every way which through us will produce thanksgiving to God which is why we do it.
[30:02] It's for the glory of God. It produces thanksgiving to God for the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. By their approval of this service they will glorify God because of your submission that comes from your confession of the gospel of Christ and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others while they long for you and pray for you because of the surpassing grace of God upon you.
[30:30] Thanks be to God for this inexpressible gift. Okay? So essentially God has given us the gift if you've ever experienced close relationship if you've ever experienced church as family some of you maybe you haven't you've seen it from a distance you've heard it talked about but you haven't really experienced that but if you have you now have a responsibility if you've experienced church as family in that deep abiding relationship where you have relationships that are even stronger than blood you now have a responsibility to give that away to others to sacrifice what you have built there so that you can spend more time building it with other people and this is a submission that comes from your confession of the gospel of Christ and the generosity of your contribution for them and others when you believe the gospel you then submit to a gospel lifestyle meaning when you know that God became poor so that you could become rich you then submit out of your confession of the gospel and say
[31:37] I'm going to do the same I'm not just going to preach the gospel I'm going to demonstrate it by my very life and so it becomes normative for us in hopefully church culture to say I'm willing to sacrifice my time energy and even relationships that are so good that I love and I get so much life from but I'm going to sacrifice the time I spend with them in order that I can focus on a few people that I don't have that with or who don't have that all together to give them that what great gift is that to give people relationship richness and what does it result in thanksgiving to God what does it result in glorifying of God this is they will glorify God because of your submission that comes from your confession of the gospel this is unto God's glory basically what this is is just being others focused and what the tendency can be is that I only think about myself
[32:39] I want my good relationships I want my time with my best friend like I just love being with so and so it's so easy it's so light it's so natural and then when I you know when I spent that with my missional community who I don't know as well it's just it's not the same you know when I spent time with even maybe people in Christchurch because maybe I got better relationships outside of Christchurch so yeah I do the Christchurch thing because I signed up for that and I'm here but you know outside of Christchurch I got this one relationship or there's two or three or four it's like if I really want to get the goods that's where I go and you need to understand that will that that will grind the gears of our progress forward as a church both for our relational wholeness our evangelistic outreach and the glory of God and it's important to see that that that's not without consequence we do that and it's essentially selfish we should be other centered 2nd
[33:44] Corinthians chapter 1 you see this you see this concept in all throughout 2nd Corinthians 2nd Corinthians 1 24 he says not that we lord it over your faith but we work with you for your joy for you stand firm in your faith for your joy so it's basically saying I'm going to work with you not just for my joy and that's maturity says I don't I don't seek relationships just for my joy I'm working with you for your joy I've been blessed I already have so many great relationships I want to give them to you I want to make you relationship rich I'm working with you for your joy do you do that do you work for others joy is it only for you is only what I can get out of it when you say how's your missional community it's just like oh it's alright is it's not that great are you saying that because you're not getting much out of it or because the people in your missional community aren't getting much from you you ever thought about that well it's not very good because
[34:47] I'm not getting anything why aren't you a little selfish person oh I'm sorry I forgot that the whole world revolves around you you know no what about if we thought well it's actually not going that good because I'm not giving other people joy that'd be legitimate right or it's going great why because I'm getting so much no it's going great because I've found many ways now to give other people relationship joy and richness and it's awesome do you see the difference there it's an important distinction 2 Corinthians 5 just a classic one of my faves in our gospel motivation 2 Corinthians 5 14 to 15 says for the love of Christ controls us because we have concluded this that one has died for all therefore all have died and he died for all why he died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised okay so again it's that gospel reality that caused us to say
[35:58] I don't live for myself anymore this is what the Moravians had carved in their rings none lives for themselves if you want to be a people that makes people relationship rich we have to not live for ourselves and be able to become relationship poor for their sake and how do we do that like how how could you how do you sacrifice something you really love you have to be able to have something that you love more you have to have something that's better to be able to actually say I'm going to give this up well why are you doing that because the love of Christ controls me another version says the love of Christ compels me you know we love because he first loved us 1 John 4 19 you know Luke 7 47 those have been forgiven much love much uh uh Romans 12 verse 1 in view of God's mercy offer your body's living sacrifice it's all this something else proceeds it's the gospel it's who God is and what he's done and when you know that and you believe it it says I will no longer live for myself
[36:58] I'm dead I'm dead so it's not about me you you decided to become a part of this church plant you know some from the beginning some have come later I'm asking you are you in it for others because of Christ right are you in it for others or are you in it for you if you're in it for you roadblock wonkiness difficulty little gear grinding this engine ain't working so hot yeah or it's working a little too hot right now we need a little lubricating of the relationships there we need some relationship oil in there right 2 Corinthians chapter 8 verse 23 it says as for Titus 2 Corinthians 8 verse 23 as for Titus he is my partner and fellow worker for your benefit you see it again there's a theme all throughout 2 Corinthians
[37:59] Titus is my partner and fellow worker for your benefit that's partnership right that's partnership where you just say you could say someone else in this church you could say hey so and so is my partner and my fellow worker and what does that mean for your benefit not for themselves but for somebody else for your benefit for you to become a relationship rich moving to 2 Corinthians chapter 12 2 Corinthians 12 verse 15 Paul makes this amazing statement regarding the Corinthians and he says I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls okay if I love you more am I to be loved less he says I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls so it's not just spending but it's being spent so it's not just giving of your resources it's giving of yourself it's like that's what Paul said to the Thessalonians right he said
[39:02] I share with you not only the gospel but our very lives he's saying here I'm not just spending but I'm being spent and in order to build relationship richness in other people you have to spend and be spent how are we doing on that how are we doing on spending and being spent in our relationships are we pressing through and saying alright this is going to cost it's not just going to cost my stuff my money my time it's going to cost me I'm not just going to spend but I'm going to be spent that's what it takes to build relational depth relational familial experience of church it takes us spending and being spent and notice what he says though I will most gladly spend and be spent how do you do it gladly the gospel you remember the gospel are you some of you are spending and being spent and maybe a little bit of the gladness wore off you know it's like hey I'm doing it man get off my case
[40:03] I'm spending and being spent don't tell me I'm not doing it I'm doing it are you glad no you know we have to be glad in it I'm spent I'm being spent but Paul added one other thing he said I will most gladly spend and be spent and that's the key you can spend and be spent and everyone's just a bunch of grumpy church curmudgeons and we don't really have like you know that kind of relationship oil lubricating the relationship so all the gears are working well and we're just enjoying one another and there's grace and compassion and forgiveness and it's just you know understanding that yeah you're not like me but that's okay I love you yeah you don't understand how to do this that great but I love you and I don't understand how to do some things either so I'm gonna be merciful for you hopefully you're merciful to me and there's this give and take relationship and I'll most gladly spend and be spent for you when you have a culture of gladly being spent and being spent or another way to say it see when you spend and you're spent you're becoming poor right so gladly spending and being spent even giving up relationships you know are easier you know you could get more life from immediately you'll gladly spend those relationships in order to build it with other people gladly spent and being spent jumping out of there for two more verses here
[41:39] Romans 13 verse 8 says owe no one anything except to love one another okay you basically say I owe it to other people to love them like I have a debt to them to love them like that's I'm constantly looking like how can I just pay this debt to love one another that's the thing I want to owe and then Philippians 2 last verse the classic selfless verse Philippians 2 3 to 4 do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves let each of you not look only to his own interests but also to the interest of others are we doing that are we doing that do you specifically have some relationships in Christchurch or outside of Christchurch that you need to sacrifice in order to focus your time and energy with some different relationships in Christchurch do you if you do I'm challenging you do it do it but it's not death unto death it's death unto life okay if you think it's death unto death that's not very motivating just wait you want me to give up these relationships to not get any relationships no no no
[42:52] I'm saying give up those relationships to get new relationships while you keep the other ones that's what you get you get it all this is why Jesus said if you give up lands and homes and your life will you not just gain even more in this life and in the life to come right how is he saying that because that's what happens but it comes on the back of sacrifice and so we're not willing to do that I think some of us are thinking why am I not gaining traction in some of these relationships in Christchurch why am we we stuck in certain relationships in the missional community and there could be other reasons I'm not saying this is the only reason but I think some of it is because we're supplementing somewhere else and we're ruining our relationship dinner right we've been snacking over here and getting all the stuff here and then we get over to the table of the relationships in our missional community and saying yeah I'm already full I'm good I'm not really hungry and then the other people who are hungry they don't get anything to eat and that's unfortunate and we have to make sure that we don't do that amen amen let's persevere with gratitude into these things you guys can come up that's one other thing
[44:07] I want to remind us of before we were sent out as the church here at Bellacos three of the words that God gave us to focus on this year was build persevere and gratitude and just starting this church is definitely building right I mean you guys are very much in the world of building but don't forget the other two things because I think they're really important and especially now to persevere with gratitude gratitude you know even like what Seth was saying during our time in communion together when he was talking about grumbling like once you hit those relationship walls are you grumbling or are you persevering with gratitude God gave us those words for a reason and just because you guys were sent out doesn't mean that it wasn't still spoken to you at the beginning of the year as well and I think they're just as applicable for applicable for us now that we would persevere with gratitude and just say hey whatever whatever difficulty there is
[45:08] I'm going to persevere through it I'm going to build these relationships I'm going to do what it takes Amen