[0:00] I am going to talk about our second word for the year. I'm going to talk about order. And there's a lot of definitions for the word order.
[0:11] So it's one of these words that has multiple different meanings depending how it's used. But I want to look at two different versions of the word or meanings of the word. The first one would be order in the sense of priority, divine order.
[0:27] We all have priorities. The question is, are our priorities God's priorities? Is the order of our priorities, the way we order the priorities of our life the same as what God wants us to?
[0:41] So that's one way to look at order. The other way to look at order is basically the opposite of disorder. So if you have a bunch of chaos and messiness and just kind of everything's everywhere and you just kind of don't know what's going on, the opposite of that is what I'm talking about.
[0:59] Okay, order. Bringing order to chaos. Bringing order to disorder. So two different things. They go together. They're similar. But kind of two different ways to look at order.
[1:10] And either one will cause problems and either one is not the way God wants it to be. Okay.
[1:20] God wants us to revere his order, his priorities, divine order priorities. And then I think when the kingdom of God comes, it always brings order.
[1:31] It always brings order. It always brings, God's word itself brings order into chaos. I mean, we see this in the book of Genesis right there in the beginning. And there's something about that.
[1:44] No matter how, you know, obviously different people have different personalities too. Birth order can affect this. But, you know, we have different kind of tolerances of cleanliness or chaos or all these kind of things.
[1:58] But there is something, I believe, that's inherently in all of us that loves when order is brought to chaos. And I think it's because it's the kingdom of God.
[2:09] The kingdom of God, when it comes, it's God's rule. It's the way that God wants things done. The priority at which he wants things done. It's coming down to earth as it is in heaven.
[2:19] And there's a reason why the kingdom of God is referred to in Romans chapter 14 as righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. When kingdom order comes, righteousness, peace, and joy come as well.
[2:33] Amen? Amen? So that's what I mean by order. That's what I mean by kind of the two portions of order that we want to focus on.
[2:44] So let's start with just looking at a handful of verses giving us the biblical value for order. Because I think we sometimes value order on a different scale.
[2:57] Some of us value it more than others. And we can develop a tolerance for disorder. Right? We can get so used to it, we don't even notice it anymore.
[3:10] Right? This is why we need the help of the body. Because some of us, kind of the boiling of a frog, you know, slowly but surely, we ended up being comfortable to a certain degree with disorder or chaos.
[3:24] And sometimes it can even go to the point where we're not just comfortable with it, we're actually dependent upon it. Because it's so familiar to us, we feel like a fish out of water when we don't experience it.
[3:35] That's not a good thing. That's not a good thing. We don't want to feel comfortable with a sense of disorder. We should feel a little bit of a divine agitation that says, hey, this needs to be brought into order.
[3:47] Okay? And so, some of us are probably going to have to ask questions of other people. And a little bit of advice, don't ask someone who's just as comfortable with disorder as you if there's disorder in your life.
[4:02] I don't see anyone finding me. Or someone who's more comfortable with disorder. He's like, oh, your life is great, man. I wish I could. So, but I think you know what I mean.
[4:15] You know, we can develop certain tolerances of that. So, let's look at, so I think sometimes to combat these kind of mindsets or experiences we get with being comfortable with things that maybe we shouldn't be, the best way to combat that is with the Word of God.
[4:30] Okay? So, let's just look at a few verses on what the Word of God says about order. First one's in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He's speaking of marriage. He's talking about multiple different scenarios of marriage.
[4:41] And in verse 35 in chapter 7, he gives the reason for why he's saying things. And he says, I say this to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
[4:52] Okay? And so there you see him esteeming as the reason of why he's giving his counsel this kind of overarching theme that's in the Scriptures and that's a part of the kingdom of God. And it's this, to promote good order.
[5:05] Like, that's a noble thing to do. We should seek to promote good order. And the things that we say to one another, just like Paul was saying to these guys in regards to marriage, he said, hey, the reason I'm saying this to you is to promote good order.
[5:20] So you can see that Paul's goal is to bring order. And we should seek to do the same. We should seek to bring and to promote good order. It's interesting, even the word that he uses there, promote good order.
[5:35] There are things, this is more than just bringing order in the moment. This is just a way of thinking, talking, viewing things that is conducive to or promotes good order.
[5:47] That's like a step further than just bringing order in the moment. It's actually having a way that you are thinking and a way that you are aiming, okay, that promotes good order.
[5:59] And so you've got to ask the question. Listen, we have sometimes, sometimes we look at our lives and we say, oh, man, I could use more order in this particular area. And you've got to ask the question, well, are the systems of my life that currently exist, are they promoting good order?
[6:19] Or are they promoting disorder? And so if you're aiming at order and you're saying, hey, I know I need to get more order in my life. I know I need to do this. Like this word is from the Lord.
[6:30] Guilty. Like I'm ready. Let's do this. Let's aim at this. But the systems that you've set up in your life are promoting disorder. You can have all the great intentions of the world. You're still going to end up in the same spot.
[6:42] That's why Paul says, hey, I say this to promote good order. In other words, he's saying there's ways of thinking, doing and saying that promote good order.
[6:52] And then there's ways that don't. And so you've got to ask the question, do I just have desires without the systems or plans in place that would promote good order? Because those two don't gel.
[7:05] You've got to have both. You've got to have both. Okay. Also in 1 Corinthians, in chapter 14, he's speaking of spiritual gifts. It says, verse 39, he says, so my brothers earnestly desire to prophesy.
[7:18] Do not forbid speaking in tongues. But all things should be done decently and in order. Right? In order. So here he's speaking of church meetings, gatherings.
[7:29] He's, and I don't know, I'm sure a lot of you, maybe even all of you, have been in meetings with the spiritual gifts being exercised that were disorderly.
[7:41] Okay? So we know what that looks like. A lot of us, maybe all of us. And he's saying, hey, do these things. Go after these things, but do them in order. Again, it's this kind of overarching value that is this apostolic order that keeps being hit by Paul that, hey, yes, do multiple things.
[8:00] Do a lot of things that could potentially be chaotic, but pay attention to order. Pay attention to order. He says all things should be done decently and in order.
[8:11] And what happens is the reason he's saying that is because, and you'll see this later in the chapter, is that when the spiritual gifts are used in order, people are edified.
[8:22] Edification is the result of order. Okay? When things are ordered in the right priority, when things are ordered in the sense that they're not chaotic, but they're used the way they were supposed to be used, there's edification.
[8:35] People are growing and they're being built up. And that's true of families as well. It's true of families as well. It's true of marriages. It's true of households. Okay? Colossians 2 verse 5.
[8:50] This is in the CSB. This is Paul writing to Colossians and he says, I may be absent in body, but I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see how well ordered you are and the strength of your faith in Christ.
[9:04] Okay? Rejoicing to see how well ordered you are. So Paul is looking for someone. He's doing his apostolic travels. He's in and out.
[9:15] He comes to Colossians. He's going to be coming to them. And he's saying that I'm rejoicing to see how orderly you are.
[9:25] He's looking for something. What's he looking for? He's looking for order. And not just any order. He's saying, I'm rejoicing to see how orderly you are. Like this is something you should strive after. It increases sin. How orderly are you?
[9:36] How is order manifesting itself in your life together? I delight to see how orderly you are. How orderly are you? How orderly are you in all the areas of your life?
[9:49] Not just one. Not just two. But saying, hey, is there? And sometimes we can hide behind areas where we're really good at bringing order while being very deficient in other areas of order.
[10:01] And we think, I'm cool. I'm good. Right? But Paul says, I delight. I enjoy to see how orderly you are. We should do the same thing.
[10:13] We should delight to see how orderly our own homes are and how we should delight in the order of others. And we should help one another. We should challenge one another. We should encourage one another. And this is what Paul was doing. Right?
[10:23] He rejoiced to see how well-ordered they were and the strength of their faith in Christ. Right? And really those two go together. Okay? Well-ordered.
[10:34] The only way you're going to do that is through faith in Christ. Because one of the results of disorder is overwhelm-ness. Right? Disorder overwhelms.
[10:46] Oftentimes we say that, oh, that person's overwhelmed because of so much, because they have so much on their plate. Usually not true. Especially if all the things on the plate were from the Lord.
[11:00] Most often, the overwhelm-ness is not due to the amount on the plate, but the lack of order of the things on the plate.
[11:11] Disorder causes you to be overwhelmed. The more orderly your home is, the less overwhelmed the people in that home are. Okay? Disorder makes you feel this sense of you don't have peace.
[11:23] That's why the kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. You don't have joy. You don't have peace. Things aren't right. Because they're not rightly ordered. Okay? And so, oftentimes, though, we can blame the amount of things we have.
[11:36] Like I said before, though, the problem is, a lot of times those things that are on your plate are actually ordained by the Lord. Like kids. You know, it's like, I can't handle these kids. Really?
[11:46] Really? Is God's, oh, is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your kids? Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your finances? Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your marriage?
[11:58] Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your household, your job? Is God's grace not sufficient? Is it? But I got a lot of stuff on my plate. Yeah. You do.
[12:08] You do have a lot of stuff on your plate. Yeah, I look around the room and I see a lot of people with a lot of stuff on their plate. and sometimes I get overwhelmed for you. You know, I think, oh my gosh, it's not that long ago, Gene and I were in the same stage of raising up children and trying to balance all the other things and we had to do the same thing.
[12:29] We had to see, you know, people had to see how firm our faith was in Christ. Do we believe that his grace is sufficient? Do we believe that when we do things God's way, it brings God's order and when it brings God's order, it brings God's peace?
[12:43] Do we believe that? Which just releases more grace. It's hard to experience grace without peace. That's why you always hear the phrase grace and peace too. Those are kind of, they're hard to separate, right?
[12:54] How do you separate grace and peace? They very much go together, okay? So he says, rejoicing to see how well ordered you are. Titus chapter one, verse five.
[13:06] Here you have Paul encouraging Titus, who I believe is a young apostle, kind of a protege of Paul's, spiritual son of Paul's. He says, this is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained in order, into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you.
[13:28] Put what remained into order, okay? So this is one of the jobs of the Apostle gifting. This is one of the jobs of elders, is they bring order.
[13:40] Why? Because they have authority, and authority is given to bring order. Authority is given to build up. And sometimes we waste our authority, okay?
[13:51] Sometimes we waste our authority. And sometimes we have unbelief around our authority. We don't realize, you know, oftentimes in marriage, when people are having marriage problems, people start to be tempted with different lies about being able to deal with their spouse.
[14:07] And one thing Gene and I will say oftentimes in counseling with married couples is that there's nobody on planet Earth who's more grace to deal with your spouse than you. And do you believe that?
[14:20] Do you believe that? Because when you believe it, it really changes things, okay? And, you know, I say that to husbands with their whole families, and it's just like, listen, you're the guy.
[14:31] You're the one God put in this family. Like, you didn't, God orchestrated this. Do you believe that you have more grace than anybody, that the authority that God gave you is to bring order and to build up your family?
[14:42] Like, we have to believe that. And Paul had this desire to put what remained into order, where there was disorder, where there was lacking, the authority needed to bring things into order.
[14:53] He said, hey, put what remained into order. It's interesting, even right now, in our political situation, the difference between leaders and how leadership styles bring order or bring disorder, right?
[15:10] We've experienced, there's multiple different leaders over the years who've brought, bad leaders bring more disorder. Bad leaders, whether they're political, whether they're spiritual leaders, whether they're family leaders, business leaders, when leaders are bad, it just brings more disorder and it makes, it robs people of peace.
[15:29] But when leaders are strong and they bring good leadership, it brings order. And Paul's saying, hey, I gotta, I wanna put what remains into order, so go appoint elders in all these different cities.
[15:42] One more verse when it comes to biblical value for order. One of my favorite verses is 1 Samuel 2, verse 30.
[15:53] There's this amazing statement that says, those who, God is saying, those who honor me, I will honor. Those who honor me, I will honor. And to me, that's a verse about order.
[16:05] You might say, well, he's not talking about order there. And I'm thinking, well, I think he is. So he's basically saying, if you honor me in the way that things are supposed to be, I will honor you. That just begs such a great question to me.
[16:17] And that is, what does it look like when God honors you? Have you ever thought about that? And I think it's righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. I think it's order.
[16:28] When you say, God, I'm going to pay attention to what you esteem. I am going to esteem what you esteem. I'm gonna aim at what you esteem. I'm going to honor you.
[16:38] And I know that I have this promise that if I honor you, you're gonna honor me. And that brings a sense of peace and order that like nothing else. It's a difference between us as Christians and everyone else in the world.
[16:52] We have this God who cares so deeply about us that he makes a statement like this. That's an amazing statement to me. I love that statement. On the flip side, it also says, if you don't honor me, then I'll disregard you.
[17:07] So there's a sense of like, hey, you have to pay attention to what God wants. You have to pay attention to what is right and godly and esteemed. And he promises, if you do this, I'll honor you in there.
[17:19] Okay? So, I hope that gives kind of more of just a broad kind of thematic value for order in the scriptures. I think that's just something that's in the Bible that we should esteem.
[17:30] And some of us need to esteem it more than others. Okay? Some of us have maybe gotten too used to disorder and chaos and we need to get things in order.
[17:45] I believe God's putting his finger on that. He gave us that word for a reason. And the truth is, there's certain aspects of our life where it's a lot more, disorder is a lot more consequential than other times.
[18:00] Okay? And really, where that really comes true is getting it right on the front end is really helpful on the back end. Especially in, I mean, just about everything.
[18:11] Like, if you get things in order on the front end, it's going to bear fruit on the back end. If you wait to bring order, the back end becomes a lot more difficult. I mean, have you ever said, man, I wish we would have brought more order to this before?
[18:24] Wish we would have brought more order to our kids before. Wish we would have, now they're older and it's like, and we had more and it's crazy. Wish we would have brought more order to our marriage before because we've developed some really bad habits.
[18:35] I wish we would have brought more order to our finances before because now we're in this kind of pit and we're digging ourselves out. But if we would have paid attention to this earlier, it would have been a lot easier.
[18:46] And so, I'm not saying that to condemn anyone who feels like you're in one of those pits. Okay? Or maybe a couple of them. But, let it be a lesson that when you pay attention to order on the front end, it bears fruit down the road.
[19:00] And that's why, and sometimes it's hard to have the value for it because a lot of times it's not immediate gratification. It's, and we love immediate gratification.
[19:11] But some things when it comes to order are, you won't bear the fruit of it until a long time after. You know, like I was saying this to Bellicose last week, you know, I love it when people say, hey, I tried spanking and it didn't work.
[19:24] I'm like, how old is your kid? My kid's three. I'm like, well, you're not done yet. Like, what do you, what do you mean you tried it and didn't work? You're not done. And it's like, well, I've been doing it for a while now. It's just not working.
[19:35] And it's like, well, you're on the front end of this thing. You got to keep going. You got years left of this. You just got to be consistent and it will bear fruit. Why? Because it's God's ways.
[19:47] It's God's ways. And so, don't let disorder come into your house because you lack faith in the ways of God and in the principles that God has set forth as priority. So, one of the things I think that is most important when it comes to order is this dynamic of household priority.
[20:04] Okay? And I'm going to look at it in 1 Timothy chapter 3 and then chapter 5. But we'll start in 1 Timothy chapter 3. Can I get my water?
[20:17] 1 Timothy chapter 3 verses 4 through 5. It's talking about the qualifications of an elder. And it says, He must manage his own household well with all dignity keeping his children submissive.
[20:37] For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? So, here you have an order. Right? He says, if you don't know how to manage your own household, how will you handle the church?
[20:47] We're talking order priority. First, start with your own household. Okay? Verse 4, right there in the beginning he said, He must manage his own household well. But he's talking about two households.
[20:58] Household of God and their own household. The priority is their own household. And this is where I'm talking about on the front end and the back end. On the front end, it's your own household. On the back end, it's fruit in the household of God.
[21:11] But you've got to start here. I've got to say, one of the most neglected things in the order of priority in the church, especially when it comes to leadership, is this priority order of household.
[21:25] Why? It's so straightforward in the scriptures and yet so often we think, oh no, I just got to keep ministering. I just got to be a minister while my family and my own household is not in order.
[21:37] And why in the world do I think I can bring a household into the church if I can't bring it into my own home? Why do we think that? If you think that, stop. Please, stop.
[21:48] It's wrong. It's unbiblical. If you're living in some kind of delusion, that's not how God's kingdom works. You have to get your household.
[22:00] And then when you, when you're, that's the training ground. That is the microcosm of the bigger. Like when you can handle that, it will, it will do wonders beyond that.
[22:11] But what ends up happening is we end up putting a disproportionate time into the church without being able to manage our own family. Now, I'm not telling you about one or the other. We do both in the, but we do both in the right order.
[22:23] And that's the problem. Sometimes we go to extremes. Some people are like, oh, I'm all in on the church but I neglect my family. And so then to correct, people go all in on their family and neglect the church. No, it's both but in the right order.
[22:34] Don't go to extremes. Just do right, both in the right order. And you've got to start with your own household. There's a reason he says this is a qualification for an elder because if someone doesn't know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?
[22:51] Goes out in 1 Timothy 3, verse 12 and he talks about deacons. And he says a similar thing. He says, let deacons each be the husband of one wife managing their children and their own households well.
[23:03] Do you manage your own households well? Are you managing it well? And if you're not, are you honest about it? Because if you don't get in the light on it, like Zemir was talking about when we shared the Lord's table together, if we don't get in the light on that, we have no fellowship.
[23:21] We're not going to have any growth. We got to get in the light in those areas where, hey, I, yeah, there's areas in my household that aren't in order and this shouldn't be a secret. Why am I hiding these things?
[23:32] I need help. I need love. I need fellowship. He goes on in 1 Timothy 5 and he's talking about widows. But you see the same concept of household priority.
[23:46] 1 Timothy 5, verse 4. If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their what? Their own household.
[23:58] You see in this, it's thematic here. Let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
[24:10] She who is truly a widow left all alone has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well so that they may be without reproach.
[24:24] Verse 8. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
[24:35] Some pretty strong language there. Why would the Bible, doesn't that seem a little extreme? Denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever? I mean, doesn't that kind of feel like a little out of place?
[24:47] Like, we would kind of cruise him along there good talking about widows and then he just throws that bomb in there? It's just like, hey, just say, oh, if you don't take care of, if you don't take care of the members of your household, you've denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.
[25:00] It's like, whoa, where did that come from? We should take notice. This is serious. This is serious. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his household, God cares about the divine priority of household.
[25:19] He has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Verse 9, let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than six years of age, have been the wife of one husband and having a reputation for good works. She has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, has devoted herself to every good work, but refused to enroll younger widows for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.
[25:49] Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies saying what they should not. So then in verse 14, he brings this all to conclusion.
[26:00] What does he say? So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, and manage their households and give the adversary no occasion for slander for some have already strayed after Satan.
[26:15] If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened so that it may care for those who are truly widows. Again, you see, I'm just saying, hey, if you've got widows in your family, don't have the church take care of them.
[26:29] You take care of your household first. You take care of the household first. To me, the pages of 1 Timothy 3 and 5 are screaming out household first, household first, household first.
[26:44] Let me ask you, where's your household? Where's your household? Where is it in the order of priority? Is it above the things that seem to be more fun than ordering your household?
[26:58] Is it a priority so much so that you're consistent in it? That you give time to it in such a way that, hey, this is important to me and my family.
[27:11] This is important to me as a single person who has a household. Like, I want my household in order. I want my household prioritized. I want my household to be a place where I'm creating a harmonious and systematic arrangement in the household where things are in their proper place and activities are carried out efficiently and effectively.
[27:32] Right? I want that kind of harmony in my home. Where is that as a priority? Where is that as a consistency? I think the Bible is very clear that your household has to be first.
[27:42] and I love the, the, the, uh, like, one of my favorite quotes is, uh, Roosevelt talking about the man in the arena and how the critics who aren't in the arena who like to criticize the people who aren't in the arena and not being like those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
[28:01] I love that quote because I, I hate when people criticize people who are in the arena. It's like, you get in the arena and you see how it is before you criticize. And one thing I can say about all of you who came to this church together, you're in the arena.
[28:15] I love you guys. You guys are my, like, I'm rooting for this church because you guys got out there and did it. So I'm going to be the last person to say, to bring this harsh critique, but I am going to say in your love for the church, make sure that your household is first so that you can be for the church.
[28:34] I love that you jumped out there and did this. I love that you left comfort and friendships and established church to come and do this church. But please remember to do household first and do both in the right order.
[28:48] Okay? But do household first. We have to do that. Okay? There's no other way to do a healthy church plant. That's why it's so important to say, I'm going to say it really clearly. Please listen to me on this.
[28:59] If you don't hear anything else, hear this. If we don't do household first before church, we'll never have a healthy church. We won't.
[29:11] Because it's out of order. God doesn't bless that. God does not bless that. Are you hearing me on this? Like, this is important. And again, that's not me criticizing. I'm saying, you're my people.
[29:22] You stepped out and said, we're going to do this. Praise God for you. I love you. Right? But know what that means. That doesn't just mean, oh, we got this little storefront in Raytown and, you know, we're making it happen.
[29:37] No, it means I got to do the work of putting my household first so that this church can be healthy. You see what I'm saying? Like, that is the work. You say, oh no, the work is evangelism.
[29:48] Of course it's evangelism. But if you're doing a bunch of evangelism and your household's not in order, there's not going to be good fruit in that. Right? So I know the work is preaching and teaching and doing discipleship.
[29:58] Of course it is. But if you're not taking care of first discipling and raising up your own family, it ain't going to happen. Okay? The work is building up the house of God. Of course it is.
[30:09] But if you can't even handle your own house, your own household, how in the world do you take care of the church? Paul says he can. Right? So, this is why I think this is so important.
[30:22] And I hope you can hear the dual kind of language that I'm using where you can say, I'm proud of you for stepping out. And I'm rooting for every single one of you and for us together to do this and see a healthy church.
[30:35] And I believe we're going to. But there's only one way. Like, there's no way. You can't get around this thing. Okay? So what does that look like practically?
[30:46] Well, number one, we've got to prioritize God. It's the obvious one, right? You know, it's just, it's obvious. But it's so neglected.
[30:57] It's saying, is God my first priority? And have I planned it in? Have I planned it in? The busier you get, the more you've got to plan. You may say, well, I'm not a planner. I like just kind of going by that seat, you know, flying by the seat of my own pants.
[31:11] You know, I just like that. It's cool. It's fun. It's like, yeah, you're too busy for that. Maybe that worked when you were single or when you, you know, you didn't have as much responsibilities or maybe when you were single with less responsibilities, now you're single with a ton of responsibilities or you're married with a bunch of responsibilities.
[31:27] You've got a bunch of kids. You've got jobs, business, all this stuff, whatever it may be, church. And you said, but I like to do that. That's the way I like it.
[31:38] Well, I'm sorry. You're not good at it. You're not good at it and someone needs to tell you, right? Maybe you used to be, but you're not anymore. The more things have gotten to your plate, the more it requires you to order your life, order your priorities, plan things.
[31:53] And that's true with God. Most often, what's the thing that goes? Prayer. Prayer. Sitting at the feet of Jesus. It's Luke 10, right? Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.
[32:04] What did she do? She sat at the feet of Jesus and listened. This is the kind of love that God is highest in divine order, right? Sitting at, tell my sister to help me, right?
[32:16] It's like, well, yeah, someone's got to make the food. We can't all just sit at the feet of Jesus and no one would eat, right? But she chose what was better. And it's easy to choose the service and the making the food and to never sit at Jesus' feet and listen.
[32:29] And that's a mistake. We've got to prioritize that. We've got to prioritize that. We've got to plan it in. We've got to plan it in. If we don't plan it, it's just not going to happen. If you don't plan your life, someone else will be more than happy to plan it for you.
[32:44] Number two, practical. If you're married, I'm going to bring order to our marriages, okay?
[32:56] Where we prioritize our marriage in the right order. I have this kind of working theory that every woman who's married is tempted periodically, if not very often, to believe either that her husband doesn't care more about her than himself or that he doesn't care about anything.
[33:16] But that is a constant thread in most wives, if not all wives, that they're tempted to believe that. And so as husbands, what are you going to do about it? Because that's real.
[33:28] And a lot of times they're tempted to think that because of you, because of me, right? We're giving them reasons. And I've been asking guys this recently. What are the things that are, when you're away at work during the day and your wife's at home, what are the things that are speaking to her that you care more about yourself than her?
[33:48] I asked a couple guys this the other day and the one guy said, oh, it's my baseboards. Like, what do you mean? Well, my wife really wanted me to get these baseboards done. I haven't got them done forever.
[33:59] And I'm like, yeah, your baseboards are speaking to your wife all day, every day. He loves himself more than you. I asked the other guy, he said, oh, it's my backsplash.
[34:10] My backsplash. I'm like, yeah, your backsplash is speaking to your wife every day. Every day she's in the kitchen. She looks over at the backsplash. That's not done. And it's just, the backsplash is just shouting to her. He cares more about himself than you.
[34:23] That's real. It is real. So what are the things, your husband, guys, what are the things that you've left that you haven't done that are speaking to your wife?
[34:37] Hey, I care more about myself than you. You don't want anything speaking to your wife while you're gone. Okay? Number one. But you can do something about that.
[34:47] We can do something about that. And it goes both ways too. I'm not just picking on the husbands. There's things that wives can do as well that I've been asked to do and should do. But we don't want those things to be in the way.
[35:00] And sometimes we, there's things like that that we let go for way too long. Right? We all do this. We all do this. And we have to get serious about saying, all right, I'm not going to do this anymore.
[35:14] That's bringing order to our marriage. Right? What about children? Bringing order to the children. Looks like obedience. Looks like order in the home. It looks like respect. Okay?
[35:27] When you say for your kids to do something and then they don't do it and you don't do anything about it, you're teaching your kids to disobey. Do you realize that? That's literally, when you don't enforce your authority, you're subtly telling them, oh, you can get away with this.
[35:42] It's totally cool. I'm not going to do anything about it. And every little kid is looking to see how much you'll give them. That's what kids do.
[35:53] They're constantly looking. Got a little eye contact for some kids here. That's good. They're always looking like, what can I get away with?
[36:03] What can I get away with? Like, this is built into them. Their sinful nature. And if you let them get away with it, oh, that's like a green light for them. Whoa!
[36:14] He didn't do anything. Mom didn't do anything. I can do this. So you're literally, we don't think about it that way, but often we are teaching our kids to disobey by not enforcing our rule and authority.
[36:27] Okay? Another thing that's just a practical. It amazes me nowadays how often kids say no to their parents and the parents have a conversation after that. It's like, no conversation with your kids, especially your little kids, should ever start with them saying the word no.
[36:46] Like, that's the end of the conversation. Do you understand? Like, that's not a time to start a conversation. Hi is a way to start a conversation. Okay? Not no. My son or daughter just said no to me.
[36:59] I think I'm going to talk to him about it. How do you feel? Do you feel like you're not doing too well? You know, no, there's no conversation. There's no talking about their feelings.
[37:10] They're about to feel something else. They should feel something else real quick. Like, there should be a zero no policy in your homes. And the amount of young parents I see now where it's like, they say something and the kid says no and I'm thinking, what's going on here?
[37:29] You don't say no to your parents. And then like, the parent, the parent just has a conversation. Like, no, don't talk to them. Go discipline them. Go discipline them. This is not a conversation starter.
[37:40] No is never a conversation starter with your kid. Okay? Very important. Takes a lot of consistency. There's, parenting, disciplining your kids is one of the most difficult things because of the level of consistency it requires.
[37:57] And, that's why we need people in our life who can even say to us, hey, you're not being consistent. Gene and I had many young friends who were raising kids at the same time as us and we'd finish the night together and as we're walking out the door putting our coats on, one of them would grab and say, hey, you know, you said no to your kid a lot tonight and never got up to discipline them.
[38:18] Ouch. You're right. It's totally true. I've been really tired lately. Well, we're all tired. Be consistent. Thank you. Thank you so much.
[38:28] I appreciate that. You're totally right. You're totally right. I did do that a lot tonight and I've been lazy. I need to be more consistent. You have people that do that. Do you do that with other people? Do they do that to you? This church needs to create a culture like that.
[38:41] Okay? We need to teach our kids how to sit. Listen, if you're primarily teaching your kids to sit, to obey, and to respect in public settings, you're doing it wrong.
[38:53] You're doing it wrong. Now, you do have to do it in public settings, but that should be the overflow of what you're doing at home. And it is the overflow of what you're doing at home. And sometimes it ain't pretty. You know?
[39:04] I remember a time when I was like, Elijah used to wiggle all the time and he'd sit with me and I'd be like, I'm winning this battle today. And I got up and left in church so many times and spanked him because every time he wouldn't sit on my lap.
[39:19] Oh, look at him. He sits so great. Isn't that awesome? But I just kept being consistent with him. Right? But, yes, I did it in that meeting, but, like, that's not, if I'm just doing it in that meeting, this is going to be a long, hard battle.
[39:35] I need to do this at home. I need to teach him how to sit on my lap at some times at home where it's just like, hey, bud, you're just going to sit on my lap and you're not going to wiggle and get off. And if you do, you're going to get spanked. Like, you're just going to sit on my lap.
[39:47] Right? The other thing is teaching our kids to respect other adults. Okay? It's not okay if your kids say things like, well, I don't have to listen to you, not my dad.
[39:58] Well, yes, like, if your parents are, if some other person is overstepping their authority, that's fine. But a lot of times it's just like, hey, stop hinting Susie or whatever. It's like, I don't have to listen to you.
[40:08] It's like, whoa, okay. That's not good. We don't want to create kids to respect adults. And when they say things like, hey, we're going to go sit down now or hey, stop hitting, you know, little Susie, little Johnny.
[40:22] It's always little Susie and little Johnny if you don't know that. That's always the example. But teaching our kids to respect, right? That's really important. We had a friend whose kid, whenever they'd walk in the door, he'd walk up and he'd kick me.
[40:35] And the dad would never do anything about it. And man, I started to not like the kid. Was that the kid's fault ultimately? Yes, the kid has a fault for kicking.
[40:46] He shouldn't kick. But this is a little kid. His dad was teaching him it was okay because he'd never do anything when this kid would walk up and kick me. Right? We need to teach our kids to respect other kids.
[40:57] It's order. You're bringing order in your home. Okay? You have husbands who say, man, my wife's always so overwhelmed when I get home. What are you doing to lead and to bring order in that home? How are you setting up systems and things in place so that there can be order?
[41:12] Lastly, practical yourself. Bring order to your sex life, your sexual desires and rightly ordering them. Bring order to your feelings.
[41:24] Right? It's just like, I'm going to let my feelings rule me. I'm going to put them in right order. Bring order to your finances. Finances can really unsettle a home and bring a lot of disorder.
[41:36] And it means that you're going to have to say no to stuff. Gina, I've been talking about this a lot lately. Nowadays, everybody wants, thinks that they can have everything. Like, I can just, I can, they look at other people and they say, well, they have it so I can have it.
[41:50] They have this, I can have that. And we never want to say no to anything. Well, to bring order, you have to say no to certain things, especially with finances. Especially with finances. You know how often it is that people end up getting in financial vines where something happens, it's an emergency and a big ticket item can't be purchased.
[42:09] And you know what the reason is why they need help in that moment? It's because they didn't say no to the little things over the course of the year before. And so they don't have anything in savings. They weren't planning ahead for something that could happen like a car breaking down.
[42:23] Which happens often, trust me. I've dealt with so many people who've had broken down cars and it's always interesting to see how people prepare. Now I get things happen that are out of control and we all need help on that.
[42:34] I've needed help on that. Other people have. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when those things happen and they could have been prevented but we didn't say no to things that we wanted for a long time so that we weren't prepared to deal with the emergency situation that comes up.
[42:49] That's because our finances are out of order. That's because our finances are out of order. And a lot of times we don't think of that because we think, oh, I was living within my means all that time. Yeah, but you weren't thinking about the future at all.
[43:01] Did you think that your vehicle was going to last forever? Did you think that your kids weren't going to eat more? You know, did you think that something in your house that you bought wasn't going to break?
[43:13] Like, these things happen and so we have to say no to things. Sometimes we have to work jobs we don't want to work. Well, I really like this job. Well, so what? Your job doesn't pay enough. You need to get a different job. Like, we have to say no to some things sometimes.
[43:27] Right? And just say, I mean, I've had to do that multiple times. So many times I've had conversations with bosses who talk about pay and I'm just like, hey, listen, this honestly has nothing to do with you or me.
[43:40] This has to do with the fact that I have this many kids. I have this house payment. This is my budget and if you can't pay me the amount that I need, this has, this is, there's nothing personal about this and it has nothing to do with this job.
[43:52] I have to pay my bills. I mean, I would say that to my bosses. I'm like, trust me, I actually like working here. I would love to keep working here but if you can't pay me more, I'm out of here because like, if this, our relationship is totally based on me doing a service for you and you paying me and if the amount you pay me isn't more than my expenses, we got a problem and it's not personal.
[44:16] It's not personal. It's just reality because like people would, bosses would try to pull this stuff like, oh, we're doing everything we can. I'm like, listen, that's fine but what you're doing isn't enough and so you're either telling me you want me to go find another job because I need more money or you're going to make something happen.
[44:35] That's really what this is about. This is a business relationship. So let's just figure this out because that's why I work here, to pay my bills and to have a little extra so I can save for an emergency and so don't make it personal.
[44:48] We need to get our finances order. We need to get our life in order in a personal way by our maturity, by growing in maturity, not staying a child in specific areas, by being consistent, sometimes by leaving money on the table for other priorities.
[45:08] Sometimes the temptation isn't to live beyond our means, sometimes the temptation is all the opportunities to make more money when it would take time away from the things that we need to bring order and leadership to in our families.
[45:20] Sometimes you've got to leave money on the table to bring order to your life and to your family. You need to look for these things. In conclusion, what's your plan? What's your plan to bring order?
[45:33] If you know that there's a particular area where you need to bring order in your life, what's your plan? Okay? Do your brothers and sisters know your plan? Does your spouse know your plan?
[45:44] Is it clear? Is it realistic? Has it been tested? What's your plan? Let's get into order. I close with 2 Timothy 2, 20 to 21. Now in a great house, which are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay.
[46:01] Some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.
[46:16] The way we become vessels of honor is bringing our homes, our households, our lives into order. Amen? Let's be vessels of honor that God wants us to be. I'm going to close in prayer and we'll close with a song or two.
[46:29] And we'll close in prayer