What makes a Home?

[0:00] What makes a home? What makes a home? And many families are fragile and under stress today.

[0:20] ! Many people are hurting and need healing. In the world that we live, in the community we live, what is the answer for this?! Where can the answer be found? For those who are crushed in spirit, who need healing. And what does a home look like where there is healing?

[0:39] When you think about healing, healing returns something, someone to a healthy state. What does a healthy family look like? What can we, God helping us, aim for? For our families, for our home?

[0:54] What are the ABCs, if you like, of what makes a healthy home? The fundamentals, that's what I'd like to cover today. To address this question of what brings healing and wholeness to families?

[1:06] What is it that makes a healthy home? And so I'm putting it along the line of ABC. Consider the ABCs, if you like, of the authority, the basis and the centre. The authority, the basis and the centre.

[1:22] The ABCs, if you like, of what makes a healthy home. What is the pattern for a healthy home? And of course we know we all fall short. I think every home falls short in one way or another.

[1:33] And it's something to aspire to yet, that ABC. Firstly, the A. What makes a home, what makes a home authority? Authority. The authority of the home is critical.

[1:45] And we have to get the authority right. I'll put it to you that the authority rule over the home must be one that is led by love. Authority led by love. Authority in love. At first I was thinking of terming that A. The atmosphere of the home.

[2:04] The atmosphere of the home being love. That's true as well. But I think even more so importantly, is that the authority that is in the home, that is in the home is administered by love. It's by love. And that's how God demonstrates authority to us, isn't it?

[2:22] As the Father. As our loving Father. And what's His plan for His children, for our homes, for our families, is that there be an authority that is demonstrated and administered in love. In love. By love.

[2:37] It's love that makes a home. And love will permeate this home. How can this be? How can we know such a thing? It all starts with our own love towards God.

[2:48] When we are saved by His love, His love fills our hearts. And His love, the Bible says, is shed abroad in our hearts. In Romans 5 verse 5 it says in part that the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

[3:08] God's Holy Spirit is helping us. God's Holy Spirit is helping us shed abroad God's love to others round about. And it springs up out of this love that we have for Him that flows out in compassion and consideration and care for our own family members.

[3:24] His love is shed abroad in our hearts. God's love helps us men to be husbands. God's love women helps you to be wives.

[3:35] And helps us mums and dads to be parents. What we're meant to be, it's the cement, it's the glue that holds us together. It's when a husband and a wife cleave. In Genesis it says that the husband will cleave. It's super glue. It's super glue. It's strong adhesive. It's a strong cleaving, a joining together.

[3:58] And love brings this. It brings this harmony. It brings this understanding and healthy relationships that we all want. And God's plan is this authority structure, this Godly authority model is manifest by love.

[4:14] That's God's authority mechanism, is love. This is the love that our Lord showed, He demonstrated towards us while we were yet sinners. He showed us when He laid down His life for us.

[4:26] As He showed us in John 13 as the humble servant washing the feet. This is the love that we are called to show, to display, to know. What the man is called to in delivering his role as husband and father and as provider.

[4:43] That it must be delivered by love. In love. It's what the wife is called to in Proverbs 31. As the Proverbs 31 woman demonstrates her responsibilities as a manager of household affairs.

[5:01] That she delivers her role by love. In the love of her husband and of her children. This is the love that parents are called to in imparting to our children.

[5:12] It's not a make believe Hollywood type of love. It's not a fake, fleshly, emotional film star kind of love that we call to. It's not a kind of love that just happens when the music just plays just so.

[5:27] When you're watching that movie. And oh, your heart flutters. You hear the violin playing. And love just comes when you hear that music sound.

[5:39] It's not like that in reality, is it? No. It's the real thing when the rubber hits the road kind of love. It's something that makes a home a home. As to the scriptural roles of wives and husbands and parents of children.

[5:53] What does true love look like? And to get the definition of love, we've got to go to the one who is the Lord of love. And go to his word.

[6:06] 1 Corinthians 13. We see love defined for us. 1 Corinthians 13 defines love. It's the definition of love.

[6:17] 1 Corinthians 13 love. It's the love that God wants in our homes and hearts. 1 Corinthians 13 we can read from verse 4.

[6:28] It says, It says, Charity or love, Suffereth long and is kind. God's love has an enduring quality. It's kind.

[6:39] Inbuilt in this love is a kindness that is a giving without expecting in return. What does kindness look like? Ephesians 4 records from verse 32 of the church.

[6:52] Be kind one to another. Tender hearted. Forgiving one another. Even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

[7:03] Kindness. It's like the good Samaritan demonstrated. Where he put himself out. The good Samaritan. He went out of his way.

[7:14] Giving freely. Without thoughts of getting back in return. And Paul says it's about being tender hearted. Forgiving one another. 1 Corinthians 13.4 it goes on.

[7:26] Charity envieth not. Charity vaunteth not itself. It's not puffed up. There's a humility in God's kind of love. A humility that draws us to pray.

[7:38] That draws us to seek God. That draws us to find our sustenance in Him. To depend upon Him. God's love is not selfish but selfless.

[7:49] Selfless. It's not vain. But it serves with humility. With humility. Verse 5 it goes on. Doth not behave itself unseemly.

[8:00] In other words rudely. Seeketh not her own. It's not easily provoked. Thinketh no evil. So God's love is considerate. It will press through.

[8:12] It will press on regardless. God's love will help us overcome evil with good. Overcome evil with good. Now. My lawn at the moment.

[8:24] I like to talk about my lawn and my garden. Such a green thumb. No not really. But my lawn is looking lush and green at the moment. Just looking. It's almost.

[8:35] I'm almost happy with it. And I've worked hard planting and fertilizing and watering it. But when I look close. The sow sobs there.

[8:48] They're just about to spring up and blossom. All over my lawn. And the weeds are there in my lawn. Yet. At least.

[8:59] At least. I praise God. It's green. It's green. It's green. I'll keep working on those weeds. But I'll rejoice in what I do see.

[9:10] And sometimes. Life's like that isn't it? Marriages are like that. Sometimes we need the grace. To overlook the faults in others.

[9:22] That's why you're here. You keep coming back. Because you found the grace to overlook all of my faults. And my lack. And I thank God for that.

[9:33] For you. That's what we need in the family unit too isn't it? Amen. That's what we need. In the family unit. It's so easy to look at the weeds.

[9:44] And look at what's wrong. Instead of seeing. It's green. It's growing. It's getting better. It's improving. Bit by bit. And we can all get consumed with fault finding.

[9:56] And having a critical spirit. This is what damages churches. This is what damages relationships. Let's find the good in our mates. Amen. And our children.

[10:07] And praise that. And amplify that. And magnify that. And hopefully the way we can get that. And hopefully the weeds can be attended to.

[10:18] And weeded out. In time. In time. In time. Let's be our spouse's best cheerleader. And fan. Amen. Amen. I appreciate it when Julie says something nice about me.

[10:33] Now and again she finds something nice to say. Something nice to find out about me. That's how it's like isn't it? Easy to find fault. But let's rather find the good. Overcome evil with good.

[10:46] Verse 6 it goes on. Rejoiceth not in iniquity. But rejoiceth in the truth. You know we can find something to praise God about. Something to thank God for.

[10:58] To delight in doing his will. He is the source of our joy. He is the one we can delight in. And our joy is found in this. Verse 7. Charity.

[11:10] Love. Beareth all things. Believeth all things. Hopeth all things. Endureth all things. Charity never faileth. God's love is unfailing.

[11:23] I'm glad of that. Aren't you? God's love is unfailing. You know. If it was up to me I would have given up on myself long ago. But God is unfailing. And he goes the distance for us. That's his love. He goes the distance.

[11:34] He never gives up on us. So don't quit. May we know this kind of love. In our lives. That we don't give up on each other. Even though it looks hopeless sometimes. There's still maybe a little glimmer of hope. At times. We can trust God that it will be so.

[11:47] And a home with this atmosphere of love. That's not just for us. That's not just for us. That's not just for us. That's for us. That's for us. That's for us. That's for us. That's for us. That's for us.

[11:58] That's his love. That's for us. That's his love. He goes the distance. He never gives up on us. So don't quit. His atmosphere of love. We'll surely be blessed of God. And he will see us through the storms.

[12:10] Through the hard times. This love translates into action. It's like someone has said. Love is a verb. Galatians 5.13. It says by love serve one another.

[12:22] God's love is unconditional. It's self-sacrificial. It's relentless. And by God's love we learn to die to self. And we actually think of the other person.

[12:33] And try to bless them. And I'm sure you do. Love is the answer to selfishness. Love ever gives. Love is true and faithful and love will find a way.

[12:47] Love is enduring and patient. It extends forgiveness. It shows generosity and true humility. And in the healthy home love sets the pace.

[13:00] The direction is by love. The direction is not under your thumb. But the direction is I'll show you the way. The discipline is by love. Not that we're thrashing and dominate nearing.

[13:14] But that we're exhorting and nurturing. And admonishing. And instructing. Guiding. Love sets the pace. And everything will be exercised by love.

[13:26] As God's love motivates us. We're motivated by love. We're directed by love. And the home will be administered by love. And love can replace the bitterness with sweetness.

[13:37] That's the ideal. That's what I'm talking about today. Of course we don't always realise the ideal. And trying as you might. You may never achieve it. But friends I urge you.

[13:49] While there's still hope. Hang on to hope. And find God's healing. In God's healing love. The family can be held together by cords of love. But fastened together by bonds of love.

[14:02] So that the husband will lovingly lead. And the wife will lovingly follow the lead. And the children will lovingly honour the parents. And we can find that harmony in the home.

[14:13] That is God's best for us. That is God's ideal. That we can pray for. And work for. So we're looking at the ABCs. Of what makes a home. Firstly we've looked at the A.

[14:24] The authority. That it should permeate. That it should pervade the atmosphere. That the home is filled with love. The authority is love. The basis of the home.

[14:37] The basis of the home. The foundation of the home. What is our basis? What is it that we are resting on. That we're grounded in. What is the basis for whatever we are to do.

[14:50] Including the home. What is it? The basis for how we are to live. How we are to live. How we are to live our lives. Our homes.

[15:01] Is. The Bible. The Bible is the basis. The Bible based family. Is the healthy home. That's the best way to build a healthy home.

[15:14] Is that it be Bible based. Bible based. In other words. It's underpinned. By biblical principles. Biblical principles. Undergird. And. Direct the home.

[15:26] The scriptures. Establish the pattern for us to follow. We've seen over these last few weeks. Of the different messages we've had. About the roles of the husband. The wife.

[15:37] The children. The parents. We see the scriptures have the answer. The guide for everything. As the pattern for us to follow. It's God's. Plumb line.

[15:49] It's God's. Design. It's God's model. The answers that we seek are found here. If you'll but seek them. And friends. People are enslaved today.

[16:00] Because the truth is yet. To set them free. We see many struggling. In darkness. And doubt. Because they have not found the truth yet. The truth has not set them free.

[16:12] The Lord Jesus says in John 8.31. If you continue in my word. Then are ye. My disciples indeed. And ye shall know the truth. And the truth.

[16:23] Shall make you free. His word is true. And the truth. Shall make you free. He says. His word shows us the way to live. To find freedom. Where true wholeness.

[16:34] Is found. As we apply God's truth. And apply God's truth. In the everyday. In the day by day. In the run of the mill. In. As the rubber hits the road. Day after day.

[16:45] We can be. Searching and. Seeking to be. As God's people. Bible based. And that extends to the family unit. To our very homes. As we apply God's truth.

[16:56] We'll realise. That reality. Of being a Bible based family. What do I mean. There's so much said. About the Bible. And how it should guide us.

[17:07] Let us reverently search the scriptures. Teach them. Recite them. Write them. Write them. Write them on the tablets of our heart. As we put it into our memory.

[17:18] And on the walls of our home. You know. To say how. There's some fanatical people. In our church here. Who actually. Have got graffiti. In their house. They've got Bible graffiti.

[17:30] All over the walls of their house. Hallelujah. Absolutely. Over the top. With the Bible. And that's a good thing. You know. I like that at my house. To have some Bible texts. On the wall of my home.

[17:42] Of our home. And Deuteronomy 11. Verse 19 through 20. Talks about this. It says. Of the scriptures. As we. As the. The. Hebrews were exhorted.

[17:53] To the. The Lord our God. Is one Lord. And it goes on. And you shall teach them. To your children. And speak of them. When they're citizen on house. When they walk us by the way.

[18:04] When they lie us down. And when they rise us up. So all the time. Isn't it? Yeah. Whether you're. Horizontal or vertical. You know. Whether you're lying down. Or when you're rising up.

[18:15] As God's people. The onus is on us. It's on us. On you mums. On you dads. On you mums. On you dads. The onus is on you. On us. To reach out to our own children.

[18:26] With God's truth. To teach them. Parents. We are called upon. To stand fast on the bible. And be the consistent. Christlike example. To them. That they need to see.

[18:38] So grow in the knowledge of the bible. Bring your children to church. As often as you can. Bring your family. Bring your family to bible study. Bring your family to worship services.

[18:50] Morning. And night. And midweek. Amen. Come to church. And bring your family. In Deuteronomy we are exhorted to have the word of God prominently evident in our homes.

[19:02] Thou shalt write them upon the doorposts of thine house. And upon thy gates. And upon thy gates. You know. The Hebrew people have got scriptures in containers that they have.

[19:14] At the entry points of their homes. They write the scriptures where it can be evident. What they believe. Who they belong to. And so. Have some bible texts.

[19:26] There's ones we can guide you to. Or help you to make your own bible texts. And display them. So that you can instill a knowledge of the bible. In your children. Study the scriptures.

[19:37] Rightly divide them. Display them. Proclaim them. Obey them. The scriptures. This is what God says. It has his authority behind it. And we must follow the designers instructions.

[19:49] To know how to live. So as a family. As parents let us. God helping us. And maybe they've left home. You can still try. You can still seek. To impart something to them.

[20:01] Plant a seed. Even if it's just a verse. Even if it's just an exhortation. From your mouth. Teach your children. The scriptures. Sound doctrine.

[20:12] Foster in them. A love for the word of God. What is it that's stopping us? What's stopping us? Sadly we know that rebellion. Is what blinds people's eyes.

[20:23] And stops their ears. In Ezekiel 12. Verse 2. It says. Son of man. Thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house. Which have eyes to see. And see not. And have ears to hear.

[20:34] And hear not. For they are a rebellious house. A rebellious house. See a picture here. A song. With their fingers in their ears. Let's pray for our children. Our young people.

[20:45] That they will have an open heart. And mind. To receive the saving message. Of the saviour. In the bible. To know the bible. And receive solid. Biblical teaching.

[20:56] How we need that today. When. Unsound. Biblical teaching is everywhere. We need to search the scriptures. And. Be found where we can study the bible.

[21:08] Whether at home. Or in. A group. Study the word of God. This is how our children can be. Protected. It's how they can.

[21:19] In. Later years. Discern. Deception. From truth. It's how in later years. They'll be able to discern. The devil's lies. When they face them.

[21:31] As they know the bible. And it's author. For themselves. So there's a reverence called here. Brothers and sisters. A reverence called for. That we esteem God's word.

[21:42] Highly. We value it. We treasure it. We love the scriptures. And we take it seriously. But most of all. We apply them. In our lives. It's in the instruction of the bible.

[21:53] That we find the answers. To all of life's questions. In effect. In reality. It's what guides our lives. What ought to guide our lives. As we tackle issues.

[22:04] We've got to handle. Whether it's drink. Whether it's gambling. Whether it's moral questions. Whether it's concerns. That are of the everyday. Of finding a job. Of that anxiety.

[22:15] That finding those struggling times of life. When we're handling life's problems. And as we're trying to learn. How to live with each other. And treat other people. The answers are found.

[22:27] In the pages of this book. And so the bible shows us. How to live. It shows us our responsibility. Within the family. It gives us a proper understanding. Of biblical roles.

[22:38] The answers that we seek. Are found in the bible. And for our families. That God helping us. You might be a family of one. At the moment. Be a bible based family.

[22:49] Be a bible based family. Make your home a bible based home. That the bible is the answer. For the broken. The sure foundation. We can build upon. So we're considering today.

[23:01] The ABC's. Of what makes a healthy home. And I put to you the aim. Is that we pray. That the all pervading atmosphere. The authority. Of our home. Will be by love.

[23:13] Let love. Pervade the atmosphere. The authority. Of your home. B. Let's be a bible based family. That the bible is the basis. For what we do. For what we decide.

[23:24] For what we plan to do. And C. That we be a Christ centred home. C. For Christ centred. Consider what is central. In your life. And in your home.

[23:35] What is it that sits at the centre. Of your home. That it is. That will have the most influence. The most influence. What is it that sits. Front and centre.

[23:46] In your home. In your home. In your home. What you're feeding off. What you're feeding yourself with. In some. In some homes. They place. The emphasis.

[23:57] The focus. The centre. Is on chasing after. Academic learning. Academic learning. It's all about the career. It's all about. Making a life. And getting a career. And making money. Or it could be about sports.

[24:08] Or a career. It could be about sports. Or a career. It could be about sports. Or a career. About entertainment. That's at the centre. Of our lives. It just dominates everything. Of your discussion.

[24:19] Of your thinking. Some place emphasis. On worldly things. Or on pleasure. And such things. What is it. That is at the centre. Of our lives. What is it.

[24:30] That makes a home. I truly believe. That a truly. Healthy home. Is one that is Christ. Centred. Christ. Centred. That Christ. Will be at the centre.

[24:41] At the centre. That's what we want. In this church. That Christ. Will be at the centre. That's what we want. In our hearts. That Christ. Will be at the centre. That is what we want.

[24:52] In our homes. As well. That will put. First things. First. First things. First. Let's enthrone our Lord. At the very centre. Of our homes. And families.

[25:03] Matthew 6. That familiar one. The Lord Jesus says. But seek ye first. The kingdom of God. And his righteousness. And all these things. Shall be added unto you.

[25:14] Seek ye first. The kingdom of God. Seek ye first. The kingdom of God. Let this be our target. What we shoot for. What we aim for. Let this be our priority. That we place our priority.

[25:26] On Christ. On him. That we make him our aim. That Christ. Will have the pre-eminence. In Colossians 1. We read of God's plan for the church. Colossians 1 verse 18. It says.

[25:37] He is the head. Of the body. The church. Who is the beginning. The firstborn from the dead. That in all things. That in all things. That includes our families. Doesn't it? That in all things.

[25:49] He might have the pre-eminence. He is the absolute head. Of the home. And we're all under his authority. He is the absolute head. He is the one.

[26:00] He is the one. Who is meant to be pre-eminent. So that he is praised. So that the family makes. God honouring decisions. So that the family unit. Can be a witness. To the wider world. So that God is glorified.

[26:12] In our family unit. And it starts. With each one of us. It starts with you. It starts with me. And each one of us. Determine. To be Christ-centred.

[26:23] Each one of us. Determines to be Christ-centred. You might be the only Christian. In your home. That can be hard yack it. That can be hard going. But let us be individually.

[26:34] Determined to be Christ-centred. What is it that drives us? What is it that we focus on? What makes a home. Is to know the simple message. Of the gospel. To receive Christ.

[26:45] By simple faith. And to follow him in truth. To lean upon him. To especially when the going gets tough. Proverbs 3. That familiar scripture. It says. Trust in the Lord.

[26:56] With all thine heart. And lean not on thine own understanding. Do we have Christ-abiding presence? That we trust in him? Are we conscious that he is with us.

[27:09] In the midst of our family? Do we fully trust him? As we seek to please him. In all our decisions as a family. I know looking back. I know decisions thoughtlessly.

[27:21] At times. Let's prayerfully decide. The steps that we are to take. And let's place our trust in God. As a child trusts in.

[27:33] His or her father's arms. As a child trusts in its parents arms. We are to trust in God. And his arms are everlasting. Verse 6 it goes on.

[27:45] Proverbs 3. In all thy ways acknowledge him. In all thy ways again. Acknowledge him. That means in your family doesn't it? In all thy ways.

[27:57] In your family. Acknowledge him. And he shall direct thy paths. Brothers and sisters today. Families are at the crossroads. We are at the crossroads. And many are carrying emotional baggage.

[28:09] There's people hurting. People bruised. There's relationships damaged. Even irreparably broken. That can happen. That's sad but it can happen.

[28:20] And then. A door closes. In such circumstances. But while the door is still open. Let's make it our own. Individually. Make it your own.

[28:31] To be. Christ centered. In. The decisions that you make. As you look at those ABC's if you like. That the authority.

[28:42] That you come under God's authority. The authority of God's love. And how you treat others. Is. Administered by God's love. You're loving as a.

[28:55] As a spouse. You're loving. As a parent. As a child. Let's be. Conscious of God's love. As the authority. The ultimate authority.

[29:06] Let's be. Be. Bible based. Bible based. In the decisions that we make. And see. Let us be. Christ centered. That. He.

[29:17] Is the one. Who is. Preeminent. Above all other things. Above everything. He. Is. Preeminent. And. So. Let's give.

[29:28] God. Ourselves. Our lives. Our loved ones. Our families. Let's. Trust in his strength. To choose wisely. And as we take this path. He will lead us on.

[29:40] It's taking his path. In all the ways. Acknowledge him. He shall. Direct. Thy past. Build a Christ centered. Relationship. With those around about. Life is short.

[29:53] Life is a vapor. Loved ones are passing away. And. Maybe. Time will run out. For us to. Show God's love. Let's build. Christ centered.

[30:04] Relationships. That God helping us. Will see a Christ centered home. How so? As we pray together. As we serve together. As we. Worship together. As we read the Bible together.

[30:16] Men. Men will be. Men of God. Women will be. Women of God. And the families. Will be families of God. That we can abide in him. And know his indwelling presence.

[30:28] Where peace can be found. Friends. He is truly present. In the home. By his spirit. Present in the heart. When Christ crosses the threshold. If you like.

[30:39] When the door opens. To Christ. He brings wholeness there. As Christ enters into the heart. By faith. As Christ enters into the home. And he still does today.

[30:51] As we look through the scriptures. We see. Christ steps in. Christ steps in. To homes. As Christ came. He comes to the wedding feast. At Canaan.

[31:02] Christ steps into the wedding feast. And he brings blessing. To the marriage covenant. Christ comes into the home. Of the tax collector. And he eats. With sinners.

[31:13] Shock. Horror. He eats. In our homes. He dimes with us. The Lord Jesus. Visits the home. Of Mary. Martha.

[31:24] And Lazarus. And he brings. His word. And we sit. At his feet. Christ comes into the home. Of Zacchaeus. The hated tax collector. Where he brings. Forgiveness.

[31:35] Salvation. And new life. To rotten Zacchaeus. The hated tax collector. He comes to his house. Christ comes to the house of Jairus.

[31:48] A synagogue leader. Where he brings healing. To his young daughter. Christ. Steps over the threshold. And he comes into homes. And as Christ enters in. The hurting find healing.

[32:00] As Christ steps in. The lost are saved. As Christ enters in. To the heart. By faith. We can know salvation. Psalm 147. It says.

[32:11] That he healeth. The broken. In heart. And bindeth up. Their wounds. Friends. Whatever the state. Of your heart today. He's the healer.

[32:22] He is the one. He is the one. We can find wholeness. And restoration in. And Christ can restore families. That are torn. He can heal the wounded. The scar. He can heal the broken hearted.

[32:35] If we'll but give him. The broken pieces. And he is the one. Who makes the home. He is the one. Who makes the home. Consider this now. How is our homes.

[32:48] God helping us. We can pray. There's much. Lack. I know for my own home. For my own extended family. There's much need. There's much. Much to.

[33:00] To be desired. And we can all think. How can my home. Be better than it is. How can my family. Be better than it is. It's as we have that.

[33:11] Authority in love. We know God's love. In the atmosphere of our homes. That. How we speak to each other. How we. Treat each other. That love will be that driving force.

[33:23] Yeah. The driving factor. That. Our homes be Bible based. That God helping us. Will. Be prayerfully to. Search the scriptures. And make them live.

[33:34] In how we. Live. In our homes. And that. Our homes will be. Christ centered homes. There'll be scriptures there. There'll be. God's grace there. That Christ will be there.

[33:46] Centered. Front and center. And will seek first. The kingdom of God. And his righteousness. And then all these things. Shall be added unto us. Let us pray.

[34:00] To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. To those of us. Thank you.