[0:00] I'm reading from two passages today. One is Ephesians chapter 5, chapter 5, sorry, verse 21 to 33.!
[0:10] Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
[0:23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. His body and is himself its saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
[0:38] Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish, in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
[1:03] He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
[1:15] Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
[1:29] However, let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. I'm also reading from 1 Peter 3 verses 1 to 7.
[1:41] Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
[1:58] Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery, or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
[2:17] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children if you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening.
[2:32] Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
[2:46] This is the word of the Lord. Well, good morning, everyone.
[2:57] Will you join? No one wants to be close to me today. Will you join with me in prayer? Let's pray. Lord, with our hearts full, singing that song, Jesus and all in him is mine, is ours.
[3:19] It's incredible what you've lavished on us. With our hearts full, help us come to your word, expecting your word to fill us again.
[3:30] Give us trusting and understanding minds and hearts. And I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, would you agree with me?
[3:44] In all our relationships, whether they be friendships, parent-children, marriage, we were created for, our hearts therefore long for, unconditional love.
[3:59] That unwavering, all-forgiving, never-ending, affectionate love, not based on your performance.
[4:11] We crave unconditional love, but don't we also fear losing control? We often settle for this transactional attitude.
[4:25] I will only do for you when I am sure you will do this for me. It's not unconditional. I'll only do this if you do that.
[4:37] I think we often settle for keeping score. We do this bookkeeping. I don't know, maybe I'm alone in this.
[4:48] I'm going to read the body language in the room. We do this bookkeeping in our minds. We've got these two columns. My rights, I deserve this.
[4:58] Here's your rights over here, I suppose. And we keep this ledger. And in marriage, some people try and just keep it fair. They think that's going to build intimacy and trust.
[5:10] It doesn't. Point scoring doesn't work. Equal nappy changes, equal spending money, equal chores. If you are anything like me, you're going to overemphasize your column, my rights.
[5:26] You're going to quickly excuse yourself if you don't fulfill what your spouse needs. And you want a pound of flesh if they don't give you what you think you deserve.
[5:42] Bookkeeping, it creates a power struggle. It doesn't create intimacy. It creates a power struggle. Who's got the most leverage? Who's ahead in the point scoring game?
[5:54] The problem is, you're working off two totally different lists. Each of you often think you're ahead. It's all about leverage.
[6:06] It's not about trust. It's not unconditional. And resentment, feeling things aren't fair, can really quickly come in, like within hours.
[6:20] It comes so quickly to us. Transactional relating, I think, is an attempt to try and stay in control.
[6:31] We want unconditional love, but we're not, we don't want to let go of control. We know it comes at the cost of letting go of control. And... It leaves us empty and self-pitying and angry and a power struggle, this bookkeeping.
[6:50] When you attend wedding ceremonies, why do we all find the vows such...
[7:01] As long as it's not, they made their own vows, like, you're amazing, I'm going to do all the dishes or something weird. As long as it's more those traditional vows, it's a moving moment, isn't it?
[7:16] Like, we all love it. Why? Because it's an expression of unconditional love. It's, I'm going to love you when you're a jerk.
[7:31] When you're sick and the care has to go one way. When I don't feel like it. Full stop.
[7:43] There's no other side of the ledger. And we're like, yes. That's... We all crave it. We're made for it. How do we get it?
[8:03] Well, in Ephesians 5, as we come to how men and women are called to relate to one another in marriage, in every sentence here, Paul wants our thoughts filled with Christ.
[8:21] In the section on husbands, most of it isn't about husbands. It's just jam-packed with talking about Christ.
[8:34] Paul is just bursting, he's gushing to talk about Christ's unconditional love. And here's the primary reason why this passage is extremely relevant for all of us in this room, whether you're married or single.
[8:54] It's extremely relevant because this passage is mainly about Christ and the church. It's speaking to husbands and wives. But Paul can't help himself.
[9:04] It's just about Christ and the church. There's a metaphor that runs throughout this passage. It's the picture of one body, one flesh, as we saw at the beginning of creation, one body.
[9:20] Now, we think of husbands and wives, and yes, that's the conclusion, but actually, Paul wants us to focus on this is how Christ thinks of us.
[9:33] Let this sink in. Christ doesn't think of his people as servants, merely servants and soldiers. Go here. Go do this. He thinks of us as his own body.
[9:51] That's incredible. His own flesh. He alone truly died for his bride. He alone by his word washes us.
[10:07] He alone is making us not into this beautiful statue, but to present us to himself. It's a relational picture. It's an intimate picture.
[10:21] Christ nourishes his body. He cherishes us. We are members of his body. The key to finding that unconditional love is not to focus on your spouse.
[10:37] It's actually to focus on Christ, his unconditional love. The one flesh union we saw in the beginning in Genesis, Paul is saying when a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, I'm saying that mystery was really getting us ready to understand the real thing.
[11:04] Christ and his people. That's how he thinks of us. He doesn't love us based on our performance. It's unconditional love.
[11:15] When we rejected him, he died for us. When we resist his care for us still, we struggle to trust him. We want to go our own way.
[11:26] We want to be in control. He remains committed to washing us, making us spotless, so that we're united and enjoy him forever.
[11:39] And so here we see that overlap of the ages again. We need to understand we're in the overlap of the ages. Marriage is God's good idea from the beginning of creation in paradise, but it's just a metaphor in the end of the day.
[11:58] It's an analogy so that we would understand the thing it's pointing to, the thing that actually lasts, the thing that actually satisfies our one flesh union with Jesus.
[12:10] Jesus. Only Jesus can redeem human marriage to be based on unconditional love.
[12:23] He's the only one. And our goal for husbands and wives is to bring glory to Jesus. For people to see just this albeit imperfect picture of the sacrificial love of Jesus for his people and the willingness to trust Jesus.
[12:50] I can trust him and follow him. So this passage is mainly about Christ and the church. And for singles, I like what Sam Albury says.
[13:07] If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency. We're all marriage is, human marriage is a temporary thing.
[13:23] Getting us ready for that eternal, deeply satisfying thing. Us united to Jesus, one body. So, how does he redeem human marriage?
[13:42] We're going to look at husbands and then wives. So let's start with the husbands. One night, Emma was lying on the living room floor.
[13:54] And I was on the lounge and I had my feet on her back. does the idea of headship and submission, does that conjure up that sort of emotional image?
[14:16] Now, here's what was actually happening. I just wanted to relax. But she was like, can you massage my back with your feet? I was like, not really.
[14:27] I didn't want to. That was what was really going on. She was reading a book and I was massaging with my feet, as much as you can with your feet. The picture of headship and submission, I've been searching for a picture for us to understand it.
[14:45] The best I've ever come up with is, I think it's ballroom dancing. Now, that's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, I understand. But, I really, if you've ever watched really good ballroom dancing, the man is meant to lead.
[15:01] But, when you watch it, you're not going, wow, that man is in control. It's this partner, it's just a stunning, unified, harmonious dance.
[15:16] I think that's the kind of image we should have, not me with my feet on a woman's back. picture a ballroom dance, a stunning dance.
[15:29] God has created a difference between men and women, but it's a difference to be enjoyed. And the husband's dance steps, step one, die. I never said it was an easy dance.
[15:45] Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The metaphor and the sense of head does carry authority.
[16:01] There is meant to be leadership. But as we saw in the first sermon, the cross redefines authority. The greatest is a slave. Husbands were called to reflect Christ's headship in being a slave.
[16:20] for your wife, her best interests. So we're called to die constantly. The second dance step is we're meant to be thinking one body.
[16:39] Verse 28, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. We should be thinking one flesh, not this power struggle, but I think Paul is using head.
[16:53] Yes, there's authority in it, but I think he's using it for this metaphor of one body. The whole paragraph is about being one flesh.
[17:07] Now, we can't impose our own ideas of what headship and love mean. Christ is the model. It's his attitudes and love for his people that defines headships.
[17:18] If we think about how he loves his church, it's so much more than him wearing the pants. He took the responsibility for his bride, even for the mess our sin caused.
[17:34] He took the responsibility. He took the hits. The song we sang, I can't remember the exact lyrics, but he took the wrath of God. He took the responsibility.
[17:48] He nourishes. He cherishes. He uses all his power to serve at cost to himself. So, husbands are to reflect this.
[18:02] Think one body, anything you do for your wife, in a sense we're called to sacrifice, in another sense we're one body, so anything you do for her, you're doing for yourself, because you're so united.
[18:21] So, what does it mean to love? I think looking at Christ, we can try and map out a few more details. I think it does involve provision.
[18:33] He nourishes his body. It satisfies a man to provide for his wife and family. It's good and honourable to put food on the table, money in the account for bills, but headship is also spiritually minded.
[18:52] You know your family's wellbeing does not live off bread alone. It lives off every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Paul points us to Christ's word that is going to feed and nourish the family.
[19:11] So there is a spiritual provision here, making sure that the word of God is filling the family richly. I think it involves protection.
[19:27] Adam failed to protect Eve in the temptation, but Jesus took the hits. I don't think this protection is about competence.
[19:40] I like an illustration I heard. If the wife has a black belt in karate and you hear a noise at night in the house thinking there might be an intruder, the husband doesn't go, well, you got the black belt, you go down and see what that is.
[19:59] He doesn't look at her and go, we're a 50-50 marriage, your turn. there's something that men are made for to go down first.
[20:16] It's protecting her physically and it's protecting her spiritually from false ideas and false paths to take.
[20:29] So I think it's provision, especially the word of God. I think there's protection physically, spiritually. But it also involves feeling primarily responsible for decision making.
[20:47] Adam in the garden was held primarily responsible for the fall. Now, I think this principle can be played out very differently depending on personality and culture.
[21:01] So I don't want to be too narrow in the application but I want us to understand the principle at least. Let's say I'm going to risk an illustration so that we can try and grasp the principle.
[21:19] Let's say husband and wife, you're agreed, let's buy a big house. house. There's no competition. You're agreed on this. Headship, bearing that primary responsibility, ought to be making sure that you've checked your motives.
[21:38] Why are you buying that house? What are your goals in it? It could be very un-Christlike. It could be let's have comfort, let's have a better reputation in the neighbourhood or among others, let's have our friends over for pool parties or it could be for Christ's sake.
[22:01] Let's fit a Bible study in our lounge room, let's have our ageing parents be able to live with us, let's be able to have guests come and stay or people who are really desperate for a common I think bearing responsibility is just making sure is everything we do living for Christ?
[22:23] Now again, I don't think this is because men are more competent at making decisions. In our household, something we have to decide is medical decisions.
[22:40] Now, Emma's a GP, she tells me this Latin name when the kids need this cream. Can you put this cream on there?
[22:52] I'm like, is that the blue tube or the white tube? There is a huge difference in our competence in this area. But I've been convicted that without being, you can judge me later if you want, don't think I'm being coercive and micromanaging, but I've been convicted that I can't just leave that entirely to her, otherwise she carries the consequences of all those decisions.
[23:25] You can tell me if you disagree with me later. I think bearing primary responsibility responsibility is you feel like the buck stops with you. And if the goal is to care for your family, you shouldn't be, husbands, don't be threatened when your wife is more competent in an area.
[23:46] If they can fulfil that care better than you can, that's great, we should welcome it. Because we're sinful husbands, unlike Christ, I think we can also take the lead when arguments break out.
[24:09] We can take the lead in laying any leverage down. It takes courage to apologise first.
[24:21] Because it feels like you're laying your control out of completely down. Who knows what they're going to do with that if you apologise first. And that's exactly what's happening.
[24:32] You are laying the control down. So I'm trying to put flesh and what it means in following Christ, in dying and thinking one flesh.
[24:48] The goal for the husband is that she shines. Christ's goal is to make us beautiful, spotless.
[25:03] The without spot or wrinkle, I think obviously that's a metaphor for our character. The husband's goal in exercising his authority has to be aligned with Christ's goal.
[25:20] not happy wife, happy life. We've all heard that one, haven't we? Not happy wife, happy life. Holy wife, unbelievably joyous, forever, into eternity wife.
[25:36] Now I know it doesn't have the same ring to it, okay? But there is no conflict between holiness and happiness. happiness. If you pursue her holiness, you are pursuing her happiness.
[25:50] Husbands don't actually, we don't get the right to choose where we're taking the marriage. Christ has already told us. You're not leading your wife where you want to go, you're leading where Jesus wants you both to go.
[26:16] So die daily, bear the primary responsibility. It's not thinking I'm the boss, it's thinking we're one body here. And the goal is Jesus' goal, so that she shines in his word.
[26:33] So that's the call on husbands, that's what unconditional love reflecting Christ looks like. So transitioning to God's call on wives. This is partly why I like the ballroom dancing picture, because when the husband leads well, the evidence of that is the wife, or the woman, in ballroom dancing shines.
[27:03] She's the one doing the twirls and the I don't know, I don't know, ballroom dancing enough. When he takes the primary responsibility, she has the resources to shine.
[27:21] That's why I've taken the phrase out of 1 Peter 3. I think the focus here is wives, let your beauty be the hidden person of the heart.
[27:35] The core for wives is to unconditional respect, rather than clinging to control. A part of you may want that strong involvement and care of your husband, stepping up to responsibility.
[27:56] You may say you want your husband to step up spiritually, discipling kids, reading the Bible, initiating and leading in prayer, commitment to church.
[28:09] Here's the question, how much is it on your own terms? How much do you criticise his attempts because it's not how you would do it?
[28:25] Even when his dance steps are pretty ordinary, if they're headed in the right direction, how much do you resist? Because it's not the way you want it.
[28:41] It's still about laying down control. It's the same thing. Men, we've got to lay down our control and be a slave in service. But women, you're called to the same thing.
[28:52] Lay down your control. Unconditional love. Verse 22, wives. Let's pause there.
[29:04] The Lord is speaking directly to you. He's not talking to you via your husband. And husbands, we should in a sense have one ear closed at this point.
[29:16] We're never told, make sure your wife submits. No. The Lord is talking to you directly. You have full agency to voluntarily choose this because he is trustworthy.
[29:33] You want to please him. It's submitting to your husbands as to the Lord. Your eyes are on him, the Lord.
[29:45] It's verse 21, submitting out reverence for Christ. You see Jesus going to the cross, submitting himself to the cross.
[30:00] It is at the heart of the gospel. It is praiseworthy. You trust him for that. You respect him. You revere him. You trust him to take care of your body and soul.
[30:14] That's the motivation here. Now the authority over you is very limited. It is not any man. It's their own husband.
[30:27] But the aspects of marriage, the law calls for submission, is very broad. Verse 24, in everything, there's to be no power struggle.
[30:44] You're meant to be looking at the church. As the church, we aren't to try and go it on our own and be independent. We welcome Christ's provision, or meant to anyway.
[30:57] We're meant to welcome his provision and his care for us in every aspect of our life. even when it cuts across our will. We're meant to invite and rely on Christ.
[31:10] The church is to think of itself as one body with Christ. We're not just servants, we're in this profound partnership. Our goals are aligned with his goals in his mission.
[31:24] So that's the model for wives to follow. So Godly leadership carrying the burden of primary responsibility, there's a freedom to be enjoyed within that.
[31:43] There's an enabling, bring all your gifts to help the marriage flourish. So trusting Christ for his sake, submission in a sense, I think is about getting out of the way.
[32:01] It's letting your husband care for you, not needing to be in control, not squashing his attempts. this is about attitude.
[32:16] It's about the posture of the heart. It's not necessarily, I think we imagine that husband and wife talking and immediately the wife just has to be silent in everything.
[32:31] I don't know why we, I don't know if your mind goes there, I don't know why we imagine that. It's about the attitude of the heart. It's not about saying you're playing a less important role.
[32:44] Remember Genesis 2, helper is about supplying the power that is lacking. It's bringing all your strengths to the partnership.
[32:59] So inviting your husband's care, godly leadership, as imperfect as it is, when it's done right, people don't see a power struggle, they see a united, beautiful dance.
[33:16] They encounter a stable, warm home. They see a friendship at the heart of the marriage.
[33:27] You're enjoying god together. They witness something that benefits the children in what they see. Such a partnership overflows beyond the relationship and blesses the church and blesses society because you're trying to serve Christ together in everything.
[33:50] So invite your husband's care and bring all your gifts to this partnership.
[34:06] Now I'm guessing the fear is, what if the husband misuses his authority? What if they aren't just in control but they're controlling or putting pressure on your conscience?
[34:26] Could be financially, could be intimately, could be theologically. What does submission mean then?
[34:38] Well, you're always doing it for Christ's sake. Allegiance is always to him. You are never, ever asked to follow your husband into sin.
[34:50] It is not loving for your husband to not call out his sin. Both husbands and wives will at times have to exercise strong confrontational love.
[35:06] But I think we can say more than this, and this is where I want to flip over to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3 is a high calling. It's the context of the, if you want to turn to 1 Peter 3 with me, the context of the letter is all about, the Christian life is one of hope.
[35:26] You know heaven is coming, salvation is yours, and you have this inexpressible joy in your heart. The Christian life is one of hope and joy, but we are exiles in this life.
[35:40] It is sometimes in very difficult circumstances, where the goal is that your conduct brings glory to God, and that's true for wives and husbands.
[35:54] Here in chapter 3, it's talking to wives, especially married to unbelieving husbands, a really tricky circumstance. You can't respect his spiritual rebellion.
[36:10] God's love to God's love to God's love to you. He may be harsh. He doesn't have the cross as his template for how to relate to you. Let's firstly say what submission doesn't mean from this passage.
[36:26] There's a few things it can't mean. It can't mean putting your husband in the place of Christ. Your allegiance has to be for Christ. That's the whole context here. reason. It can't be giving up independent thought.
[36:38] Because you believe in Jesus, you're not letting go of that. The most important thought, it's not based on your husband, you're not going to let go of that.
[36:49] It's not giving up your desire to influence him. The very goal of this passage is that they may be won to Christ. You're trying to win him to Christ. It's not giving in to every demand because you're trying to win him with your pure conduct.
[37:11] Jesus decides what is pure conduct. And it's not being a doormat because in verse 6, do not fear anything that is frightening.
[37:22] There is something strong about this. You're not afraid. So how do you win an unbelieving husband?
[37:35] I think this might apply to a straying husband. A husband who's just, I don't know, going off the tracks either in his thoughts or in his behaviour.
[37:47] How do you win him or win him back to Christ when they see your respectful and pure conduct? There's an emphasis here on what's on the inside rather than what's on the outside.
[38:05] In verses 3 to 4, let not your adorning, let not your beauty be external, but let your adorning, your beauty, be the hidden person of the heart.
[38:19] That is what has the power by God's grace to win him to Christ. Now, does this mean, ladies, you have to wear a potato sack down to your ankles?
[38:36] Does it mean you can't dress nicely? I don't think that's the point of this passage because you've got to wear clothes.
[38:48] The point is, what's the motivation? how are you trying to adorn yourself? Is there an emptiness in your heart? And perhaps because your husband is as he is, is there an emptiness in your heart that you're trying to win attention, affection, a sense of worth by external?
[39:14] Or, are you so full on the inside that clothing you like to dress with an outfit that actually matches?
[39:25] That's okay, it's a good gift. I don't think it's about wearing a potato sack. It's about, do you see where your true worth is? Do you see where your true beauty is?
[39:41] In God's sight, a gentle and quiet spirit is very precious. Think about that wording.
[39:53] God looks at you and he, if you have this, and to the degree you have this, that is very precious to me. God thinks that of you.
[40:11] Now, what is a gentle and quiet spirit? What is a gentle and quiet spirit? I don't think this is about personality. I think even an introvert, very timid person can be very loud and unsettled in their heart, trying to manipulate situations and just reacting fearful.
[40:35] I don't think it's about personality. if you're an extrovert in the room, don't think, oh, I've got to just close your mouth. It's talking about the heart.
[40:47] It's talking about the inner person. Your soul is so settled. It's full. And remember the context.
[40:59] Your husband is straying, unbeliever, who knows what harsh things are going on, but your soul is settled because you know God treasures you.
[41:13] Your hope, your hope is in God. You know he's in control. Your hope isn't in your husband.
[41:26] Your hope isn't in yourself. Your hope is in God. You know your inheritance is coming soon. you know the Father treasures you. And so your goal, because you're at peace within yourself, it's not to try and control the situation.
[41:45] Your goal is to try and reflect Christ to your husband. That gentle and quiet spirit comes from hope in God.
[42:05] Now, it does express itself in respect for a husband who is unrespectable. That's how powerful this settled heart is.
[42:21] Sarah with Abraham is the example given here to follow. There's only one occurrence with Sarah and Abraham where she calls him Lord. And that's when the angel comes and says, you're going to have a baby in their old age.
[42:36] And Sarah just laughs, can my Lord bet you are and he's so old. That's when she says, it's not, it seems to be, that's just the way Sarah thought about Abraham, that it just instinctually came out.
[42:53] It wasn't, how do you think about Abraham? Abraham, she just said it, my Lord, but there was such deep respect there. It's this incredible peace inside of you that you don't need to be in control because your hope is in God, you know he treasures you, he sees your beauty.
[43:23] Now this is so unnatural. Women who don't know God, they don't adorn themselves like this.
[43:34] You can't do this without a deep hope in God. You can't do this without Jesus. It is so unnatural and I think that's exactly why it has the power to attract even an unbelieving husband.
[43:49] Where is this coming from? this deep respect for me, for the husband, a deep respect for him, your soul is settled, a deep hope, you're not frightened.
[44:06] It must come from Jesus. So that's the call for the dance steps for wives.
[44:17] respect even when in difficult circumstances, for Christ's sake. I think this ideal, I'm not sure by the way who's got the harder calling.
[44:37] You can tell me afterwards what you think. Both are called to lay down control and totally give themselves over unconditionally. But this ideal, the more I've been reflecting on it, it just makes you aware of your shortcomings, doesn't it?
[44:59] I don't live up to this. It makes you aware of your spouse's shortcomings. But the resources to live up to this don't come from looking at your spouse, how well they're doing.
[45:21] This is where it's our one body, one flesh relationship with Jesus that men and women have to focus on. Our embrace of this ideal, or whether we're clutching at control, is a bit of a barometer of how much the love of Jesus and his unconditional love is filling our hearts in any given moment.
[45:51] Just as we saw in 1 Peter, for wives, your resources don't come from your husband to live up for this. It comes from God and the gospel that fills your heart.
[46:03] I think that's true for husbands too. I hope husbands in the room aren't thinking, great, I'm in charge. If you're hearing that message, you're not getting it yet.
[46:15] You don't understand, you're not wise enough, you're not good enough, you're not strong enough to live up to this. But I'm guessing our reaction for the men in the room is, I can't do this.
[46:36] That's great. That's the place we're called to be because the resources for this is to focus on Jesus. It's not a macho, I'm in control, I can do this.
[46:48] It's not a withdrawing in fear because it's such a high calling. It's relying on his provision and stepping in to be courageous.
[47:02] So men and women, the power to embrace this dance doesn't come from yourself. It doesn't come from looking at your spouse, how they're doing, otherwise it would be transactional again.
[47:13] It comes from looking at the unconditional love of Jesus found in the cross. It's his care, it's his sovereignty, it's his provision, it's trusting him.
[47:24] while our society, men call their wives boss, I'll ask the boss, you heard that one?
[47:41] No, I hear it quite frequently. I reckon that's a thinly veiled contempt! contempt for the power struggle going on. And then you've got my big fat Greek wedding movie where the wife in that movie goes, oh fine, he can be the head, the wife's the neck, they can turn the head wherever she wants.
[48:08] That's our societies, it's this power struggle. But this beautiful dance we're called to, when we look at the cross, both men and women, and we lay down our need to be in control because we trust him.
[48:26] We want to reflect him. We hear the call to love our wives and be a slave and we call it, that's great.
[48:37] I get to reflect his greatness. We hear the call to submit to our husbands, and we know God says that's precious to me, that's praiseworthy, just as Christ submitting himself is praiseworthy.
[48:51] That creates this unconditional love that we all crave. Only when we look at Jesus people see a friendship because we're enjoying God together when this is done well.
[49:09] I think of my friend who carried his sick wife into the concert hall in his arms.
[49:24] People see that kind of till death do us part sacrifice. eyes. It's beautiful. I think of her husband and wife.
[49:36] She was so intelligent. She could theologically run rings around her husband. But my lasting impression of their relationship is she admired him.
[49:49] His gentleness, his care. when we look at the unconditional love of the cross and our hearts are full and we reflect in a small part his unconditional love, it brings glory to Jesus.
[50:09] If we focus on our one flesh dance with Jesus then our one flesh dance with one another will be stunning. Not a power struggle but a stunning dance.
[50:21] will you pray with me? Let's pray. Father that you're calling us to lay down our control.
[50:49] We can't do it on our own. I pray that you would so fill our hearts with trust in you and give us such a positive vision of what you're calling us to that we willingly let go.
[51:10] that we see the high calling of reflecting your love in the church and trying to win those who don't know you and who are straying away from you back to you.
[51:28] Give us that high calling and give us impress on our hearts this beautiful picture so that we might live lives that please you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
[51:39] Amen.