Building Blocks of Strong Families (Worship, Values, Fun & Boundaries)

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[0:39] Pastor, what was a blessing last Sunday? It was a real blessing.

[0:50] I was listening to the message and it was a real blessing. And he said, you are a husband, you come to church. You tell me, every woman, you look nice, you look nice, you look nice.

[1:02] You haven't been able to say anything to your wife for three weeks, four months. You go around complimenting other people's wives. It tells us what is in your heart. I may not preach as funny as Pastor Hu.

[1:18] Some of you are expecting, Pastor, you need to fit into it. It's the Holy Ghost of Sui's work. I started off by talking about the building blocks of strong families.

[1:31] It takes strong families to have strong nations. There can never be strong nations with weak families. The strength of a group of people is always predicated on the strength of the families within that group.

[1:54] And so it is necessary to build strong families. None of us here, in his or her right senses, wouldn't want strong families, good families, healthy families.

[2:08] Because one great man said some time ago, success outside, success at the marketplace is not worth it if it means failure at home.

[2:20] I went to pick my daughter from the nursery when I was going to, just a few days ago. And her key worker was telling me how she, I asked her what time she closed.

[2:33] And she said that particular day she wasn't closing early. And she said, usually I close at five. Though the nursery finishes at seven, I leave at five. And she said, because I have disabled parents.

[2:47] And I care for them. So I need to leave early usually. So I said, wow, that's nice. With my family mindset thinking.

[2:57] I said, that's nice. And she said, that's not nice. Obviously it's not nice that your parents are disabled. So, you know, but what I meant was, it's nice to hear a young lady saying that I care for my parents.

[3:14] So I told her that what I mean is, it's nice to know that you care about your parents. So you don't want to do extra time. You live to go home to go and care for them.

[3:27] It matters. In life, family means a lot. Family means a lot. Now, I understand some of us, there's so much feudal tensions in our family.

[3:39] I understand some of us, our family is a place of contention. War upon war upon war. The world has only enjoyed or has suffered sick two world wars.

[3:52] By your own. It's ongoing. It's a lifetime war. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah.

[4:02] So, however, I believe that with the same faith and power from God, we can change things in our families. For you to be a change agent in your family, you must be willing to suffer some things.

[4:18] Humble yourself. In other words, sometimes some things that you know you can't countenance or you can't stomach, you can't take. You may have to take it because of the well-being of the family.

[4:31] You know, I don't like it when my younger sister talks to me this way. Or my younger brother talks to me this way. Or addresses my husband this way. Or addresses my wife this way. I can't stand up. And every time I meet, so I don't want to.

[4:43] Sometimes there's the need to overlook some of the things just in order to be the agent of change for peace in your family. It's worth it.

[4:54] It's worth it. Sometimes we fight and fight and fight our family members until when they are on their deathbed and we realize that what was all the fight for.

[5:05] Sometimes some people cry when they are bereaved, not because of the death of the person, but because of their regrets, what they should have done, things they should have put right, amends they could have made, which they didn't do.

[5:25] Anybody who has a family, do I have anyone who has a family? Anyone who has a family, please, take time to celebrate the members of your family.

[5:36] Some of them are not worth celebrating. But find a way. Find a way. Someone asked the question last Wednesday at question time.

[5:47] If your father has these tendencies of incest and doesn't see anything wrong with it and is fine with it and doesn't even care, how can you honor such a person?

[6:01] I suppose that maybe if you have suffered, you're a lady, you've suffered the wicked and irresponsible behavior of your dad and still doesn't see anything wrong with it.

[6:14] What do you do now? There are complications in families. Every family is different. And so there's sometimes not one cure-all solution, but it's always good to build things based on God's word.

[6:28] I always say this. First of all, be a Christian. What does it mean to be a Christian? You know it. The Holy Spirit gives you promptings in your spirit.

[6:39] As you grow in the Lord, there are some things the Holy Spirit will tell you, don't do. Ignore it. Just keep quiet. Sometimes you want to talk back. The Holy Spirit tells you, don't talk back. So it's worth it.

[6:51] Listen, when you pay, invest money or invest your efforts in building, helping build strong families, it pays so well in the latter part of your life, you will never regret it.

[7:03] Family is not only about you and your children. How about that your brother? How about that your sister? You don't even know where they are now. And you are busy enjoying your life, eating nice food.

[7:19] Have you noticed something that in our modern day, because the life is so fast, the fast track living, people are getting money at the expense of family. So they focus more on money and then spend most of the time on building career and earning money and earning money and never there for the children.

[7:38] And then what you say is that you try and buy that child designer shoes, designer, anything they want. You put the nicest, biggest television in their room, buy all that.

[7:50] You see, so long children are concerned, love is spelled T-I-M-E. So the time you spend with the child matters more than what you buy for a child.

[8:04] My pastor, you don't know, what if it's my child's birthday and I can't afford anything? That is heartbreaking as well. It's not nice. But it's better that you can afford your time for your child than to buy everything for them.

[8:18] But they spend more time with someone else or the television. All right. So the building blocks of family quickly, as I said, worship, say worship. In Joshua chapter 24 verse 15, he said, as for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord.

[8:37] God, oh, I like this. God is a family God. He doesn't want to just be your God. He wants to be the God of your family. So if you are born again here and you are a Christian here and there are people in your family who are not born again, don't think it's okay.

[8:57] It's not a good testimony on you. But pastor, I've tried everything. Yeah, I mean, keep trying. But don't give up. Well, everyone for himself, go for us all.

[9:10] It's not a good testimony on your Christian life. It's not. So everything you can do to win them, win your family members to come to worship this God.

[9:25] That is why, you see, if you have that mindset, you won't be fighting with them always because you want to protect a good image of God to them. So they want to. But some of us, when we mention our Christian life and church and family members, don't want to know.

[9:40] I've met people who invite to church. They say, my sister will attend that church and no one can stand here in the family. Always fighting, contentious. Hallelujah.

[9:54] Hallelujah. So it's a better Christian testimony when your Christian life begins to influence your family members. You've been to church every day, church, every morning, every evening.

[10:09] And so what I'm trying to say is that any worship experience that is at the expense of your family life is actually questionable.

[10:25] He didn't get it. Every worship experience that is at the expense of family. In other words, for instance, let's say Pastor Charles is my brother and I'm going to church. He doesn't want to go to church.

[10:36] He wants to sleep at home. I tried. That's fine. I keep praying to stay. I don't say because he's not going. I also stay at home. So every worship experience that puts you on the fast track to the extent that you don't care about any family member and they don't really matter whether they are worshiping, they are interested, they are not interested.

[10:53] You just don't care. It's just me and my God. And they will see how God is blessing me. And when I get my new house, when I get my new car. I've been teaching you that the car is not coming. When I get all that.

[11:07] There are people in our families that can be very problematic. And as a Christian, you have the God-given responsibility to love them.

[11:21] Don't let your mom feel that you don't care about her. Don't let your dad feel you don't care about him. God is a family God. I'm not saying no.

[11:31] That's why I said every family is dynamic. Some of the demands are so extreme that it's not practicable. You have to do what you know is responsible based on God's word. And Pastor Wohr went on to talk about building your family on God's word.

[11:46] And she spoke predominantly last week about responsibilities of the wives based on God's word and the husband, which was a blessing. Listen, you know, you must, you must, Jesus said that he who hears my words and puts them into action is like the one who, Luke chapter 6 verse 46 downwards.

[12:06] He's like the one who, he said, why do you call me Lord, Lord, and you don't do what I say? He said, anyone who comes to me, hears my words, and does not put them into action is like a man who is building his house on the sand.

[12:18] Then he went on to say, if you listen to my words and put them into action, you are building your life on a rock because the storms are going to come and beat upon your house.

[12:32] But how you built your life or what you built your life on will determine how well your house will survive. Right? So then sometimes some things don't feel nice.

[12:43] You don't want to do it. Like I'm saying, maybe there's this particular cantankerous member of your family every time he's trying to pick on you and you just even don't want to see the person again.

[12:56] And you know that the person is Christ. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride. And, you know, trying to do that puts you under pressure. And sometimes you realize, I'm tired, I don't want to do it.

[13:07] So once you know you are doing it God's way, it means that you are building on the rock. That's what I'm trying to talk about. There's a man who came to Jesus and said, my daughter is unwell.

[13:18] I need you to come in. Jesus said, I'm going to come home. The man said, don't come home. Matthew chapter 8 verse 8. He said, only speak the word. Just speak the word.

[13:29] There is power in the word. So just speak the word and my servant will be healed. Just send your word. In the book of Psalm 107 verse 20.

[13:40] He said, he sent his word and healed their diseases. He sent his word. So there is something about the word of God. When the word of God finds placement in your life, things begin to fall in place.

[13:52] When the word of God finds placement in your life, things begin to fall in place. Not apart. Things can fall apart when God's word has found a place in your life.

[14:05] Things can. Because Bible says, he sustains all things by the word of his power. So the word, the reason why you are able to sit on the chair and the chair is not melting.

[14:17] It's because from the beginning, God said, let them be. And the word that he spoke is sustaining things. Have you realized that even though the world, the earth, our earth goes around the sun, revolves around the sun, it has never moved off tangent.

[14:31] And scientists said, if it moves away, just some few inches away or millimeters away, whatever, we will freeze to death. And when it comes slightly close to the sun, we will all bend.

[14:45] And it's been on the axis for thousands of years, the same. Do you know why? Because a word was spoken, let there be. And that word sustains it. And so when that word comes into your life, it sustains things.

[14:58] It holds things together. I see somebody's life being held together. And things will not fall apart in the name of Jesus Christ. And one of the things we have to appreciate is that in church and in Christianity, Jesus is the center of everything we do.

[15:15] Jesus is the center. I like the way Paul puts it. He said, in 1 Corinthians 2, verse 2, I suppose, he said that, when I came to you, I didn't want to know anything amongst you.

[15:27] I determined not to know anything amongst you except Christ, verse 2, except Christ and him crucified. That's all I want. The whole thing is predicated on Christ.

[15:38] I like this particular text so much. He said, my children, for whom I travel day and night until Christ be formed in you. That's the Christian life.

[15:49] Galatians chapter 4, verse 19. He said, I travel. My job as a pastor is to make sure to labor for you and labor with you that Christ be until Christ is formed in you.

[16:00] When people look at you, they see Christ. Look who is the center of everything. No, it can't happen outside of his word. The Bible says that without him was nothing made that was made.

[16:11] Colossians chapter 4, the Bible says that he might have the preeminence in all things. Colossians 1, verse 16, verse 17, verse 18. It talks about how Christ is there. By him, all things were created.

[16:22] Whether visible or invisible. Colossians chapter 1, verse 16. For through him, all things were created. Things that are in heaven and things that are invisible. So there are invisible things that have been created.

[16:34] It's there. That marriage is there. That family breakthrough is there. It's been created. It's there. The fact that you haven't seen it, you haven't experienced it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

[16:47] That is why we walk by faith and not by sight. Because they are there. Somebody say, my miracle is still there. My miracle is still there. So what do I do? I'm working my way into my miracle.

[16:59] Because it's already waiting for me. But the point is that when I decided to marry, 10 years before, even two years before I met her, I didn't know she existed. But she's always been.

[17:12] She's always been around. Yes, yes. When she was born, there was no announcement made to me. But she's been alive. She's been alive a long time ago.

[17:25] Your miracle partner. Let me say this thing. When I say partner, I mean business partner. But church, let's use the word husband and wife. When we are talking about marriage, it's not you and your partner came to receive a word.

[17:38] It's you and your husband. You and your wife. God says that husband and wife. Where's the partner? Okay, if you want to use a generic word, then spouse. That's right.

[17:49] You understand what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? They have to begin to talk about partner. We don't know in this community. We don't know what you mean. Is it business partner? Or... Talk about husband and wife.

[18:05] Now, anyone can... I mean, people can use partner. That's fine. I mean, I'm not against that. But I think don't let us replace the word husband and wife with partner. Because the Bible always says husband.

[18:16] Why? They say wife, submit to your partners. Husband, love your partners. Praise God. So the word of God needs to be central.

[18:28] And because it takes the word of God to cause everything that exists, that God has for us to be. And so Christ is central. And for Christ, the centrality of Christ to be realized or actualized in our lives, the word of God must find a centrality in our lives and in our families.

[18:46] I like the scripture. I was a pastor who referred to it about... He said, hear, O Israel, the Shema. Okay? The greatest commandment God gave them in the Old Testament. Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is one.

[18:59] I think in Deuteronomy chapter 6 or so. Yeah. And thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your soul. And they went on to... He said, these words which I have commanded you this day, teach them diligently unto your children.

[19:15] Did you see that? He said, teach them... I like the word diligently. Econos efforts. Read the Bible with your children. Don't say they don't like it so me. I can't be bothered. No, you have to make the effort. If you have to do it through some cartoons or through...

[19:28] Find a way, diligently. He said, diligently communicate or diligently teach these things to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house.

[19:39] And when you walk by the way. And when you lie down. And when you rise up. Everything you do, make sure that there is... You sandwich the word of God, not in a religious way.

[19:51] Because religion actually is appalling. Religion actually easily puts people off. But godliness is very inviting. It's sweet. So find a way through the wisdom of God.

[20:04] And package godliness in everything you do in your house. Particularly with your children. In this apostate era we live in. Everything is militantly anti-Christ.

[20:16] Or anti-God. And they couch it. Oh, separate religion instead. Yeah, we need to separate religion instead. But when you talk about worship. Worship is part of the building blocks of families.

[20:28] That's right. Of encouraging. Sometimes you go to church. You are very bored in the church. You can't make... You go... You leave the church and you are gossiping about everybody's shoe. And the children are listening.

[20:40] Next time they say, I don't want to go to church. You don't understand. You go. You will go. You will go. No. It's because you are a bad testimony to your child. It's true.

[20:54] You know, children don't like hypocritical behavior. They are real. A child can come and tell you. Look at you. Your hair is not nice at all. While the mother and father say, ah, we like this, your hair.

[21:07] And things like that. And so, please, those of us who are boxers in church. Restless. After church, you are always angry with someone. You always have a problem about church.

[21:21] About what someone has done. And you see, sometimes, you know, someone, one wise man said, the best time to raise a child and train a child is before they are born. In other words, your culture, your paradigm, your philosophy of life is what you pass.

[21:36] Children, some things are not taught. They are caught. So, children, some things. And so, your philosophy about life, it must change before even they are born. But if they are born, then you have to, basically, because it will damage them.

[21:49] You will think that they should worship your God. But this God you have presented is funny. Dodgy. Children don't like dodgy Christian lives. Praise the Lord.

[22:01] So, before you come and tell me, I don't know why my son doesn't like to come to church now like this. Check your gossip. Which he has been hearing and hearing. The people you have been fighting about.

[22:12] Am I apostolic enough? I think it's necessary. He's checking. But sometimes, unconsciously, genuinely, we don't realize it. And yet, we expect that.

[22:23] You have to get to church. You have to get to church. You have to get to church. He said, talk about these things when you sit at home. Hallelujah. Christian worship.

[22:34] Let me end by just mentioning a few. Because I can go on and on and on when it comes to worship. I can go on and on and on. Your child, sometimes, why would your child beg you? Oh, mom, I want to go to church.

[22:45] And you just don't want to. Today, I'm tired. Today, your child is begging you. Oh. It's not good. It's not good.

[22:56] You are damaging that child. You are sowing a seed. Particularly fathers who Sundays sit at home. And make you look posh. And then very soon realize that they are boys.

[23:10] They also want to be like that. So they think that church is for the girls. Mom and the girls. And very soon see that the guys don't. The boys don't want to go to church. They are not interested. But I know it's not about religion.

[23:21] It's not about just church. I'm talking about posterity in the future. The word of God must enter people. Praise the Lord. So we build our families on God's word. And then Pastor Wolfe's message also tied into values.

[23:37] Strong families. You need love. Okay. We need love to build strong families. We need worship to build strong families. And we need values. Every strong family has got certain values that they don't bathe on.

[23:53] Values. Please don't let the world around you dictate the values of your family. Particularly if you're a Christian. And sometimes some people are not Christians.

[24:05] I've heard people say this. Which kind of is nice? It tells you the family they are coming from. Maybe they are going through some marital turbulence. And they said. I can't divorce.

[24:17] Because it's not in our family. Have you heard something like that before? It's not in our family. In our family. My parents have been married for years. And they never divorced. And it's not in our family. I don't know what I'm going to tell my mom.

[24:28] I don't know what I'm going to tell. Emotional abuse is no good. When you are a child. You can complain about emotional abuse. But when you are an adult. Put yourself together.

[24:40] Put yourself together. Determine who you believe. Take everything. When you are under 40. You are responsible for your face. No, no. Sorry, sorry.

[24:51] I was explaining. When you are under 40. You are not fully responsible for your face. But when you are over 40. Because when you are stressed, stressed, stressed. It tells on your face. So, please.

[25:05] I'm a pastor. Don't come telling me. Hey, she abused me verbally. And now maybe my wife has made me. When I go to work. I don't believe in myself. I mean, grow up. You know.

[25:19] Technically. Watch this. Technically. It can have an impact on you. But you can determine. And decide. Who let this listen. I'm sorry. But what is happening.

[25:30] is that. It's affecting many people in our community. Oh. Because I want some people. And they said this to me. When I went to work. They didn't like me. And they said this to me. Against me. So I'm back.

[25:42] I need time off. I need a clinical psychologist. And this thing has been going on and on and on and on. And guess what? It's impact is rather negative. So someone decides.

[25:55] There are women who are seated here. Who are victims to all kinds of borders. Yes. Because this guy said this. And one day you decide that. I won't let anyone walk on me again. And you just decide.

[26:07] I'm tired of being at the mercy of men. And they begin to. No man. If you marry me. Get out of my life. I can go with my life. Then you realize your life gets better.

[26:18] I'm not showing the truth. But if you are walking around. Always looking for someone to show pity on you. I don't know why. Life is so miserable. Life is always like that. You have to wake up.

[26:30] Get up. Do something. Decide that you won't stay in slavery. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[26:40] Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. One one. Hold your life at ransom. Sometimes emotionally it's very torturous.

[26:54] It's painful. But sister or brother if you don't work yourself out of it you will stay there permanently. You will stay there permanently. Watch everyone who has risen in life.

[27:05] People who said their parents, fathers abused them. Mothers abused them and they are doing something with their life. What? They go to a time and they say no. Enough is enough. I'm going to take responsibility of my life and make something out of my life.

[27:17] No one can make anything out of your life if you don't take responsibility for your life. So stop telling me it has affected me emotionally. And that's for me. Every time it starts like a cycle.

[27:29] Every month or two months your emotional problems come. And you know what they do? In the charismatic churches they blame it on demons. That I need deliverance. That's why I misbehave.

[27:41] The reason why I misbehave is in my family there are a lot of demons in and it's affecting me. That's why I can't concentrate on any relationship. And every relationship I enter doesn't work.

[27:51] Some of it is not demons. It's your behavior. Behaviors work based on, relationships work based on behavior. That's right. Even demons have relationships among themselves.

[28:03] And they behave. And they behave. Is someone getting what I'm trying to say? Church, let's take responsibility for our lives.

[28:18] So values. We must communicate our value system to our children. And you must let their children in your home. If you don't even have a child or your children are grown.

[28:29] Then must, in your family, you know this is how we do things. We don't do some things. We do some stuff. Let your child know that girls don't chase boys.

[28:47] How do you do that? Stop bringing so many boys home. Since your daughter saw you, you have had different men coming. It's my life.

[29:01] I need to enjoy my life. You'll pay for it later. Seems, eh? Seems, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[29:16] Yeah, man. So someone, someone must take. Please, Christians, let us not leave all the responsibility on how life turns out to God and spirits.

[29:31] Let's not. Take responsibility. Put some things in place. Please, define value systems in your family. All right. Let's make sure we have strong values.

[29:44] Strong values. Sometimes the society we may live in will frown on your values. But let your house know that these are values in this house. In our family, we don't disrespect adults.

[29:58] Every day. That's right. And see, model it. Don't just demand it. Model it. You are busily not talking to auntie.

[30:09] And yet, you expect that boy, that girl, to behave when there are aunties around. Meanwhile, you are fighting with aunties. And they know. Do you see what I'm saying?

[30:20] So then it becomes double standards. Let's model that in our family we do this. In our family, when dad is home, and when dad is home, when you're going through some things, you talk to dad or you talk to mom.

[30:38] And let's build that. Let's encourage that. Values. Values build strong families. Families without values can fall for anything.

[30:50] There must be fun in the family. I discovered that families that have fun tend to be... If you don't take your daughters to the movies, you know, someone will take them. And it's fun.

[31:05] I hope. Let home be a place of fun. I know the bills are there. But let home be a place of fun. Don't let bills run the house. Let your intent decision to have fun at home run the house.

[31:18] Because sometimes, practically, there's so much on your head you can't laugh. Oh, is it not true? That's why I said practically. You know, when you are growing, sometimes life can be very tough, you know.

[31:31] But please, what I'm trying to say is that in all the harshness of life, make sure you inculcate fun in the family. That the family, sometimes holidays, you don't have to go to Spain.

[31:43] It depends on your financial strength. But one of the things I really thank God for, the Western world, and beautiful, wonderful country, UK, is that there's holidays.

[31:56] They make time so that you can take time off. Some of us, because of the bills and the house you are building somewhere, you won't even take any time off. You take time off. Meanwhile, we in church, from 1st January, you know that 31st December, you'll be busy.

[32:12] So you can plan ahead and tell your... He said, oh, everybody, a double pay. Everybody's working, so I've been asked to work. Others, you know why, everybody's gone on holidays. So you have to package your life such that when your children are on break, you can be home with them as well.

[32:32] Pastor, you don't know. This money, that's why we are using it to pay the tithe. If it means... If it... Listen, you can't build a church. You can't build... Build your family.

[32:45] And your family will build a strong church. Now, when we are strong and the word of God is in us, money answers to us. So we don't save money. Money will save us. But please, I beg somebody, make sure, give your children fun.

[33:01] Let your children also enjoy life. It is not in the cars and the money and that. It's in your personhood. How much time... When you are coming home, your children are happy you are coming because mom is coming, dad is coming, and you're going to have fun with them.

[33:15] You come home, close that iPad, stop that computer, put it aside, lie on the carpet, roll with the children. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! And then finally, boundaries.

[33:33] It's very similar to values. But boundaries. Every strong family has got boundaries. So, this is more geared towards parenting.

[33:46] Please, right from early stage, let our children know that there are boundaries in life and there is accountability system in life. It always bruises my heart when I see most of our boys in these parts of the world, most of our boys and our girls living as though they are their own authority in life.

[34:06] They do anything. And so, most of them, by the time they are 30, they are so battered and they are so bruised because life, there is a way to live life. If you live it otherwise, you will be hurt.

[34:17] It's just like you want to drive to whatever and you decide to drive because you were, you've been to America, you like the way they drive, so you decide to drive on the right side.

[34:29] Because you choose to be an American on the road. You will see the impression on your life. Because life doesn't work like that. You are not an authority in life.

[34:43] You can't come with your own set of rules. Because of that, one of the ways to build boundaries, introduce your children to other authority figures. Don't, don't build only like me and my children alone.

[34:54] It doesn't work like that. Let them know that there are other people who also are, have influence. Who can, when you misbehave, your, your, your uncle, your, your, your, your family friend, your father's friend, you know, someone can bring you to order.

[35:11] And some of us may not have that privilege. That is why it's good to be always bringing our children in church. Have you noticed that I'm not very, I'm very friendly to other children, but when it comes to order, don't tell me it was just a child.

[35:23] When it's going to play with electricity, would you say it was just a child? So it's our responsibility to help our children or discipline them, train them. Now look at this, Proverbs chapter 25, verse 28.

[35:33] somebody say boundaries. I can't understand when someone, you go to work, someone goes to work and he says, I don't get home with my boss and so you resign.

[35:48] You leave. They leave. Have you talked about the day I don't like the way they treat me. I just leave. And then you go another one, I don't like the way, I just leave. There's something wrong with your life.

[36:01] Many of our children and many of us, sometimes because boundaries are missing, when we are growing up, anything tries to bring boundaries, we don't like it. We rebel against it. Because if you're able to take order and authority or order from a higher power, it helps you to stay in shape in life.

[36:17] It's necessary. I can't understand, I can't understand why young, agile ladies and gentlemen can start, you go, you start working and then you say the work is too hard, then you stop.

[36:29] Some of you don't know, it's very common, particularly in certain parts of London. Failure is a mindset. It's a system. We have to knock it out of people in church.

[36:40] So you don't fail. If you don't like your job, stay there until you find a better one. If you don't like your course, don't say, I don't like, I'm studying too much, while everybody's playing, I don't like it.

[36:54] Stay there! Finish studying. Two years time, you'll be happy. You did. You found a boy, you like the guy, the guy likes you, but everybody knows that this relationship is not healthy, he can't help you.

[37:06] And so, but I love him. Stop that nonsense, leave him alone. You can stay without a boyfriend, sister, you can stay without, it won't kill you, you can stay with, what happens is that, then, mom cannot tell you, dad cannot tell you, no one can tell you and bring you to order, you are on a highway of collision.

[37:27] That's how life is. I'm telling you, that's how life, let me tell you, the policy makers know these things. They know. And charity begins where? At home.

[37:38] There must be boundaries. In Proverbs chapter 25, verse 28, it says that, when there are no boundaries, whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.

[37:49] Anything at all can come in. When there are no boundaries, and you are not in charge of your, anything at all can come in. Anything at all, you become a victim of life, and yet you think demons are chasing me.

[38:02] It's not demons. It's not demons. Demons are the least of the problem. You can handle them with just, with just the blowing of the hair.

[38:13] They're good. Some of them, even the soldiers, they started living. Do you think that some demons follow you into church? No, they don't come. They are waiting outside there. Based on how you think.

[38:23] So when you go back, and you think, I think we say, okay, still we can have access. Is someone getting what I'm saying? Please, I beg you, those of us who are raising children, we have children, let's give them boundaries. There's a difference between punishment, reward, and discipline.

[38:40] Punishment, sometimes we're trying to, that's why the government says don't smack. All right? Because sometimes people vent their anger on their children. And you're beating the child, it doesn't even know why you're beating.

[38:52] It doesn't know why. You see what I'm saying? But, anytime you want to discipline a child, first of all, first of all, there must be the rules.

[39:04] Set the standard. And then when they break the rules, you say, anytime you break a rule, it comes with punishment. Or it comes with, that's discipline. Bible says that a bastard does not, is not disciplined.

[39:14] But because we are not bastards, that God disciplines us as children. And for our own good, Hebrews chapter 12, from verse 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. And so, we must be able to let children know that when they meet, don't let your children also control you because they are throwing tantrums.

[39:31] Sometimes in public, you can't deal with some things. So wait, when you get home. And watch this, watch this. You know what I discovered? Black brothers and sisters, it's not always in the beating.

[39:46] Because the smacking does not always. And the Bible says that every child is born with foolishness and attachment to foolishness. It takes a rod to separate it. But you must know what the rod is and how to use it.

[39:59] But the point I want to make here is that sometimes, the child must know that you will suffer consequences for this misbehavior. What are the consequences? You know that your child likes maybe this particular cartoon?

[40:12] Like them it. And you let them, because you do this, I'm not giving you this. They grow up knowing that you ask the dog to bring that newspaper, he brings it, and give the dog some sweets. Every time, you see that he'll bring it because he knows that.

[40:24] But if he comes and gets a whack, he won't do that again. So boundaries are necessary. Brothers and sisters, your mother is not destroying your life. Your father is not, most of us, your parents couldn't do it.

[40:37] So we grew out of order, and now we are beginning to see the consequences. And we know, let me say this in closing. You know what pains my heart? Most of the people who are not able to bring their lives under control and order and boundaries are not able to sustain effective relationships.

[40:53] That's right. So relationships, most relationships that are not working is because one of the parties has lack of order and control. But they are called boundaries. Everything. As grown as you are, a grown man, the woman does anything later that you are going to another.

[41:07] Yeah! Yeah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Say boundaries.

[41:18] Boundaries. So worship, okay, worship, values, fun, boundaries. Boundaries. These things going into making a family, it makes a family strong.

[41:31] I see someone's family getting stronger. I promise to have a family that your family will keep getting stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

[41:42] Those of us who are having setbacks in our family, I pray for divine intervention, that heaven will turn things around, that it will begin to work in the positive, it will begin to go in the right direction in the name of Jesus.

[41:53] Thank you for listening. For more resources, please visit caries.org or call us on 0207 740 9960. God bless you.