Building Blocks Of Stong Families (Our Faith - 2) - Pastor Awo Antwi

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[0:38] This month we've been dealing with family enrichment. Last two weeks, Pastor dealt on the subject of love and family. He passionately spoke about how it's important for us to find acceptance in our families.

[0:53] Some of the key things are found in life, and even though I've not been around for too long, is the fact that how important it is to feel that you are accepted amongst your own.

[1:05] The Bible says that Jesus couldn't do many miracles in Nazareth because the people did not receive him as a prophet. So he couldn't be a prophet to them.

[1:16] And therefore, it's ever so important that we find acceptance with the people where you come from, the people you belong to. And our families are the fundamental places where we, it doesn't matter how messed up we are.

[1:31] When we go to, when people come, when family members come back, or when we go to family, we expect to find acceptance. And it is important that as, you know, most of us are raising our families, we are, it's a church where a lot of people have just given birth, are given birth, or have young children.

[1:51] Where your children go out there to face, they shouldn't come back home to have radical. It's not necessary, absolutely. Most of us come from where you are insulted by, the way you look, your legs, your face, or look at the face, and then they give a description to it.

[2:07] And we've grown up with all kinds of conception around about us. And some of it is not even true. I can't, honestly. I just can't understand why.

[2:19] But that's our culture. And we have grown up to having some insecurities around us. And it's a shame that it's coming from our families rather than outside.

[2:31] But family is a place where people, where we have to give the room to build, so that when our children go out there, or when we go out there, we know that we are loved. And therefore, it doesn't matter what happens outside there.

[2:44] We know when we come back home, when we return to our families, we are accepted. It doesn't matter how. And therefore, I can't overstress it.

[2:55] Those of us who are raising children now is ever so important, especially when people are going through challenges, especially then, especially when people are not all that straight, all that perfect.

[3:09] expectations have been dashed by all kinds of characters, all kinds of school reports that you have received, all kinds of reports from friends that you have received. It's even then necessary to make sure that our own find acceptance with us.

[3:24] Because it's easy just to pick. And you did it. You're supposed to do that. You're supposed to do that. There's a place for that. But all of that must be done in love. Or else, they begin to hide things.

[3:37] They begin to learn how to lie. They begin to present to you what they believe you want to hear. And after a long while, you realize that your paths are totally opposite.

[3:49] And you wonder what happened. We live in the same route, but the principles are totally different. So it's important that we create room for our loved ones.

[4:00] Sometimes it might be your sister or your brother who would come to you with a difficult issue. They know that you go to church and you have your standards. They know it. That's not when to, you know, pull the Bible out.

[4:10] They already know the kind of person you are. So that is really not the time. But give them opportunity to find acceptance with you. In spite of what they've done, what they've gone through.

[4:23] And from then, you can help them build. Because nobody goes to a place where they are criticized, put down, ridiculed. Nobody. So if some of us have siblings, our communications are just the hello and hi, and that's about it.

[4:38] Just surface communications. Because they know that you're going to use your Christian stick to beat them up. And therefore, they never say anything to you. You can help them. You can share God's word, which can make a huge difference for them.

[4:52] But they wouldn't open up because they suspect they're going to be their map. So love is vital in our families. And then we moved on to talk about our faith last week.

[5:04] And God helped us to understand how important it is to build our families on the word of God. Our faith must speak out.

[5:15] It must show in how we organize ourselves in our families. The things we do, the things we believe in, the values we have, the things we hold dear in our families.

[5:25] It must all be inspired and instructed by the word of God. And today, we are looking at what our faith actually says. So we did say a lot about, you know, do it based on the word, do it based on the word, do it based on the word.

[5:38] What does the word say? So that you can go and do it on the word, isn't it? Cool. Okay. Matthew chapter 7, verse 24 to 29 continues to be our foundation scripture by time.

[5:55] We will move on to 1 Peter chapter 3. Matthew 7 talks about laying the foundation on the rock, which is Jesus Christ.

[6:06] We established that last week, that there's no other foundation that can be laid, but that which has already been laid, which is Jesus Christ. So what makes us Christian families is the word of God, and that family is built on, and not the fact that we come to church together, and all of that.

[6:24] All those are important, but it is the word of God that determines that we are Christians. 1 Peter chapter 3. Okay. Okay.

[6:37] This is interesting. The word of God speaks for itself anyway. So 1 Peter chapter 3 says, Wives, Wives likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without the word may be worn by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

[7:02] Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging of hair, wearing gold, or putting on a fine apparel.

[7:14] Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

[7:26] For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God, also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good, and are not afraid with any terror.

[7:52] Husbands likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as a weaker vessel, and as being her together, of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

[8:10] Amen. I'm sure I can go and take my seat, because it's quite... Some of you are thinking, I didn't come to church for this. I'm really not interested, to be told one more time.

[8:25] How to be submissive to my so-called husband. But we'll see what God says. Because to start with, we established from two weeks ago, that the family is God's idea.

[8:41] Marriage is God's idea. And the family started with Adam and Eve. God put them together as a couple. And from them came children, and then the rest is what we see today.

[8:53] And we can't take a family month and not talk about the various relationships in families. So we're going to talk about husband and wife, parents and children, siblings amongst each other.

[9:06] And... But we will start with husband and wife. And then we'll go on to parents and children, and then we'll go on to siblings, God willing.

[9:18] What we've read, a lot of us have heard it, or we've read it from Ephesians chapter 5. And... It's something that people have various questions about, and various concerns about.

[9:34] That wives are supposed to submit, and husbands are to dwell with their wives with understanding, and various other things. But we'll see what God says.

[9:45] This is God's hierarchy. This is God's way of doing things. Just as we didn't decide that their mouth must be here, the eyes must be there, the eyes must be two, and not three, or four.

[9:58] The ears must be two, and not three. The nose, there shouldn't be one on the cheek, and the other one over there. Just as we didn't decide that, but a normal human being is born with eyes over there, nose over there.

[10:11] Just as the same way God decided how the marriage should work. So I always say that if you don't want to abide by the rule, don't get into it.

[10:23] Am I good? Okay. If you don't want how it's supposed to be done, then don't get into it. But if you want to get into it, and you know, call yourself a Christian family, then this is how it's supposed to be done.

[10:40] God's way, in order to have God's blessing on your marriage. So it says wives, submit to your husbands. The Bible is not talking about one being better than the other.

[10:52] Because in Galatians chapter 2, it talks about the fact that we are all equal in Christ. It says there's no more male or female, Hebrew or Greek, you know, master and not.

[11:06] There is clear equality in Christ. So this is not an issue where God is saying that the male is better than the female. We are all one in Christ. But then you see the word that was used wasn't women, submit to men.

[11:20] It says wives. Wives indicates that you've joined a particular institution, therefore you have added another qualification to yourself.

[11:30] You're not just a woman. But now, you've added something to it, which you've joined the institution of marriage, and therefore you're a wife. And so that is, you can choose that or not.

[11:42] To be a wife or not. But as a woman, obviously you are. You don't have to go around submitting to all men. Anybody in trials is, oh, I'm supposed to submit to you. Oh, I'm supposed to, no, no, no. Or nobody can also insist that you are the woman.

[11:54] Especially in a church like this where we work in departments and all of that. It doesn't mean that you can't have a departmental head who is a female. No. And when the departmental head brings a direction you're supposed to support it and work alongside just to ask if it was a male.

[12:11] Because there isn't an issue there. That God doesn't have a problem. He created men and created women. I just want to take the opportunity to establish it. Because some people think that, you know, God is being unfair.

[12:26] But this is how God has made it. For it to work. For it to work. Because God knows how he created men. And how they are wired. And God knows how he created women.

[12:38] And how women are wired. And he says, it's better for the woman to submit and not for the man to submit. And it's better for the man to dwell with the woman with knowledge.

[12:49] It's better for the man to do the loving. Because I bet you, if the man doesn't do the loving, you won't like it. You won't like it.

[13:01] But we'll go into that later. So it says, women submit to your own husbands. And the good thing I see is how beautifully God illustrates it in the Godhead.

[13:15] We have the Father who is God. Jesus who is God. And the Holy Spirit who is equally God. But in hierarchy, there's a Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

[13:27] One is not God more than the other. But it's just how the hierarchy is. And how it works. It's the same way as God has said the man should be the head and the women should to be the whatever is left of the body.

[13:51] I heard the statement. I found it so funny. It says, anything that has two heads is a freak. Anything that doesn't have a head is dead. So don't have an issue when you are in marriage that one has to be the head and the other one has to submit.

[14:09] Shouldn't be an issue because either you're going to be dead or you're going to be a freak. Somebody is really milking it. But I think that most women have justification because they're very worried about if I fully submit to this man.

[14:33] This man who is mortal as I am with all his flaws, all his shortcomings, some of the decisions he makes, you realize that he actually needs help.

[14:48] You have to ponder and have patience. And you have to submit fully. Not by cohesion, not by demand, but it has to be a willing exercise on the wife's part.

[15:04] A willing exercise on the wife's part. Not by cohesion, not by demand. Willing exercise on the wife's part. And so it makes you wonder that how can I submit fully to a man as a human as I am.

[15:23] But this is what God says. And I encourage all ladies, all wives here and all ladies who plan to marry that this is what God is saying and we have to believe God fully in order to do it fully.

[15:36] As we can raise our children by faith to turn out to be good children, we can submit by faith as well. We can believe God for grace to do it, isn't it? Yeah. So we have no excuse not to do it.

[15:49] So, I think we know about Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 to 24. So, you can go and read it when you've got a chance.

[15:59] But I want to, I'm going to concentrate on 1 Peter chapter 3. It talks about, verse 3 says, do not let your adornments be merely outward, arranging of hair, wearing gold, or putting on a fine apparel.

[16:19] And in some parts of Christendom, some people say that you are therefore not supposed to, you know, look a particular way, put on makeup, all of that. But it never said that.

[16:30] The scriptures never say that. Because if it says that don't put on gold or arrange your hair, then let's look at it. It said, don't arrange your hair, which is arranging of hair.

[16:46] Don't wear gold and don't put on. Yeah. So, it means that if you're taking a late, as it is claimed by, some, your apparel must be torn, and if, obviously, if you don't have fine apparel, then you have whatever apparel.

[17:06] But the scripture never said that. The fact that you're saved doesn't mean you have to go around looking tatted. It never said that. But it says that don't let, don't let your, your adornment be only these things.

[17:26] but rather, because there's something greater than just the wearing of fine apparel, wearing of gold and arranging of hair. Because it's interesting that if you look at the scripture further down, we pick somebody like Sarah to bring, to bring the point out how Sarah, you know, went about her married life.

[17:48] And Sarah, if we look at, in the account of Genesis chapter 20, Sarah was a beautiful woman. Exceptionally beautiful woman. We know Esther, how she had to be, you know, prepared by all kinds of oils and exactly for her to go on a pageant.

[18:08] And God didn't say she's going to go on a pageant so I'm going to kill her. So, you know, so God doesn't have an issue with that. Sarah, at the age of 80, had kings courting her. Because in Genesis 20, when you get a time to have a look at it, the king of Abimelech, as soon as he saw Sarah, he said, I must have this girl.

[18:27] She's too fine. Kings normally have loads of wives in those days. But she said, this one, I've got to have a go. I have to have her.

[18:37] That's how beautiful she was. So, and you can imagine how, if she, she's that beautiful, how she put herself together. In those days where we didn't have anti-aging cream.

[18:50] In days where there wasn't anything particular, you know, Max Factor, Laurel, LaZelle, mention them. They weren't in existence yet.

[19:01] However, they, this woman was exceptionally beautiful. So, beautiful is beyond these things. I don't, I don't really mind if, whatever, however you want to, you know, define beauty, whether you want to put your lash, as if some lashes are like brooms or fans.

[19:17] when you eventually have to take extra effort to open the eyelid and then extra effort to put it down. But it's all good. It's all good.

[19:28] If that's, you know, your definition of beauty. And if you're married and your husband loves it, hey, go ahead. Exactly. Why not? So, um, Bible doesn't have any issues with that.

[19:40] But, the, um, God wants us to be more than that. To be more than that. Because outward, outward beauty, fate, it doesn't matter how much product you use.

[19:56] Honestly, it does not matter. You could have the best of genes. You could have, you could have maintained yourself in all kinds of facials and all of that.

[20:06] But, I bet you, when you are 120, there will be a difference between you, the 120 year old and the 12 year old. There will be a difference. There will be.

[20:17] It will be very clear. Either the face, the chest, or somewhere will show. The hands, somewhere will show that this one, she's been around for long.

[20:30] So, it's, really, it's good to do it, maintain it, but it can't be your focus and your all. And one thing I've come to realize is, especially in our world today, if all there is to you is your beauty, outward beauty, you are in trouble.

[20:48] Especially, if you want to get married. If all there is to you, you can get a man's attention by how you look. But, even from courtship into marriage, for you to move from courtship into marriage, it takes more than your beauty.

[21:02] It will take more than your beauty. And then, in marriage, after they've been there and seen it, oh dear, it will take more than your beauty.

[21:16] Because once you've, you wipe the makeup off, by the time all these things have been taken off, what is left? The man wonders, is this what I got, and this is what I paid for?

[21:30] But I'm not saying everybody is like that. Some people, it's all natural. So that's when we go, and we have to take some things off, and put some other things back on.

[21:44] But, if, look at this, this is the same person. You can't believe. Beauty is only skin deep.

[21:56] Beauty is only skin deep. Beauty is just skin deep. Proverbs chapter 31, further down, talks about how beauty fades. It's passing.

[22:07] It's vain to concentrate all on beauty. Outward beauty. And I encourage ladies here, as much as you can, keep yourself, but work on other things.

[22:17] They are far more important. They are, those are the things that will preserve it. Some people have been into, gone into marriage, have come out, there were issues on their man's side, but as women, we know where we went wrong.

[22:30] You know it. You know it. After a while, you learn. You know where you went wrong. And those are the very things that you could have worked on. You could have worked on.

[22:42] But, sometimes, we let other things take focus, and we don't focus on the things that we have to work on. The Bible says, focus on a meek and a quiet spirit, a gentle and a quiet spirit.

[22:56] The Bible is not talking about just being like, you have no brains, your brains don't function, you are like a slug, you are a worm, there's nothing to you.

[23:08] When they say, sit down here, you sit here throughout, until somebody comes to push you, until you do something. No, that's not what the Bible is saying. Some of us are born with fiery personalities, and it is good.

[23:20] God doesn't have a problem with that. Some of us are born with bubbly personalities. Wherever you enter, somebody will know you're there. Everybody will know you're there. Everywhere, you're up and down. That's not, that's not what the Bible is saying.

[23:33] If it says, I have a meek and a quiet spirit. The Bible is not saying that. Whatever personality you were born with, God is okay with it. Remember, he knitted you, he puts you together in your mother's womb.

[23:45] The personality, the character traits, however you come out, is good. It's actually necessary for the people you will impact in the future, for the difference you will make in the future.

[23:57] It is necessary for that. Some of us need to be quiet because of the people we would have to relate with. Some of us need to be fiery and bubbly because of the people we relate with.

[24:07] So that is okay. But when the Bible talks about a gentle and a quiet spirit, it's talking about a teachable spirit. Being teachable as a wife.

[24:20] Having a teachable spirit and a gentle peace within. The reason why I say this is Proverbs chapter 18 verse 21 talks about a contentious woman who can live with.

[24:35] Peace within. Because who can live with a contentious woman. A woman who drugs, who knocks, who goes on and on. After you've made your point, continue to go on and on and on as a wife to your husband.

[24:54] It just doesn't work well. So the Bible encourages us to develop a gentle and a quiet spirit, to have a teachable spirit within the family setting where when a husband brings direction, it is a lot easier for you to digest and say, okay, this is what submission means.

[25:15] We are equals. I have a brain, you have a brain. But after discussion, when the final decision is made, it is for you to make the final decision and I am willing to go with it without complaints or murmuring.

[25:29] That's submission. So submission number is not because somebody is wiser or knows more than you, but it's because after whatever brain, if there's opportunity to discuss, the discussion takes place but the man as the head has the right to make the final decision or the right to say, you make the final decision.

[25:49] It is for him to do that and it's for the woman to go alongside once the decision has been made. Alongside, not grumbling, alongside with a meek and a quiet spirit.

[26:02] That is what Bible requires of us. Everybody's going quiet. Peace on the inside.

[26:16] As women, it's so important as wives because we keep the home. You determine the atmosphere of the home. I've learned it.

[26:27] I've learned it. I've learned it to the hard, the soft, whatever we, but I've learned that I determine the atmosphere of my home because most of the time the children are around us.

[26:39] Our husbands will come, be around, spend time with us, spend time with the kids and most of them would go out and come back and meet us at home depending on whatever your work schedule and all of that but you keep the home and therefore you determine the atmosphere of the home and if your husband comes home and you are sitting there waiting for him today or even sometimes just the phone call because you've been brooding on something for so long you don't have peace on the inside.

[27:14] Having peace on the inside is knowing how to let all go and let God take over. That's how you have peace on the inside. It's not because okay, I can conjure peace. You can't conjure peace in any way but the ability to say God take over have control I release it.

[27:32] If you're not in that state and some funny things are going on in the family setting once the phone call comes in I bet you you are still controlling yourself I'm not saying it I'm not saying it by the time the phone call finishes anyway when I say you start it and I say that if you want a marriage that's why I say to ladies if you want your marriage then do what it takes to keep it.

[28:01] If you don't want your marriage then just misbehave and do whatever you want to do because you know what it will take to keep your marriage you know it you know what it takes to keep your man if you want to have your man then you know what you have to do do it because not doing it means losing it it could be gradual whatever but you are losing it it sounds harsh but until you until you do things to start to keep your marriage how can we work on it to make it better there will be nothing to work on there will be nothing to work on so you have to make a decision whether you have you want your marriage or not and behave accordingly and leave the rest to God most of us are too desperate too keen to say that he's like this he's like that and therefore I don't want to do that well it's not going to work then it's not going to work you're going to be proud of the statistics that you went and you failed no matter how much you're praying how much you're binding it's in marriage it's about doing it's not just

[29:14] I wish you have to so we are to have a meek and a quiet spirit we are to we are to serve as wives we are to serve and I can define serve it doesn't mean that sitting with your legs crossed and food being brought to you but the service has got a definition to it it says Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord that's why I say if it's too harsh don't go into it enjoy your single life and single life can be enjoyed it can be enjoyed sometimes in the church it feels like your breakthrough is like you have to marry in order to have fulfillment in life but it's not true it's not true you can thoroughly enjoy singleness you can be whole you can be whole as a single don't let nobody put pressure on you that you have to be married at this time or that time you have to marry in God's good time no pressure

[30:29] I don't believe it I don't believe it so it says that Sarah called him Lord meaning a sign of submission is a sign of bringing yourself under because God called wives to be help meets right from the beginning that's what God defined the woman as to be a help meet to her husband and a help meet means that you are not a competitor you are there to complete him God clearly saw that the man needed help and gave him you to be a completer and not a competitor because without you the man was not complete your husband is not complete and therefore I believe that when a wife enters into marriage and the man's life it must be seen that the man has become a better person he's doing better I believe that women bring blessing into a man's life I believe it

[31:31] I believe it because some of the things are so obvious you feel you have to address them and sometimes the timing is just not right because if you say now it is going to be World War Three and therefore you have to buy your time but as you're buying your time talk to the father about it talk to him he knows how to deal with him there are things I say God this is not this shouldn't be you talk to him I know he can hear and see you so deal with him for me and there are things you don't have to say them God knows how to deal with them if they're believers that's why it's good to marry a believer someone who can hear from God it's nice because by one they will just come confess I don't know why I used to do this but now I've changed my mind all of it is like their new idea you've known for years but you've never said it so they come with this new idea that this is what we are going to do you say oh yeah I agree but you've known for years that this is what we have to do but if you say it they won't listen so yeah talk to the father the father will tell him for you yeah deal with put them in the box put them in the box say God when I tell him he doesn't listen

[32:53] I'll put him in the box he will deal with him for you do fasting on it you're free to you're free to but most of the time you know it's the other way we'll put you in the box it says husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being as together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered I believe that God had to put that one there because it was necessary because he knows that the husbands are likely to be demanding submission but not dwell with their wives with understanding so he had to put that special clause there that if you don't do that your prayers are being hindered it's interesting God spoke to women on six verses the man had only one verse some may say that it's because women need extra support so extra support you can interpret it in two ways support for dealing with men like our husbands or support in helping us do it so it's two ways but we've got six the men got one but I believe the one is deep it says dwell together

[34:25] I want to pick on the word dwell dwell means to live together and share life live together as one and share life to dwell to share life and families of today we are so busy everybody is busy everybody is busy husbands are busy even wives even if they are not working they are busy with their children their ins and outs as christians we are committed to the work of god we are busy most of the time throughout the week you've been up and down up and down up and down and by the time you have a sat day afternoon or you're really tired out and but dwelling requires us to share life i chose to interpret it as sharing life sharing your full life together your challenges your fears your joys taking time to commune with one another and god gave that responsibility to the man to ensure that that happens because he knew that a time will come where there will be a lot of ins and outs the demand on life for a responsible husband would have to make sure that things are going on well in the home it doesn't mean he has to earn more but it's his responsibility to make sure that things are okay in the home and therefore it's easy for attention to be taken off spending time communing together together it's very easy just to be day in day out to be caught up in the things that need to be done rather than taking time to spend time together sharing life so your life is not a partitioning of various things

[36:16] I have a wife I have children I have a job I go to church no but once you are married you've become one and all these things are common things you share together you share your worship together that's why as a church we believe that husband and wife should worship at the same place we strongly believe that that's why it's good for you to be able to hold hands and pray about issues have a daily commitment of whatever you do if it's you pray together you share the word together if you find something exciting about the word of God share with your wife you know share time share time share life don't let it just be things that needs to be done but let husband and wife have the joy of being one and sharing each other's lives it's important we dwell first then you dwell with understanding the King James says dwell with knowledge how do you acquire knowledge it takes studies you get understanding by studying something studying takes time those of us who are studying you need to make time to sit with your books whatever you study you need to make time to sit with whatever you're studying and so if you're dwelling with understanding it requires you making time it requires you making the time because something that you have not studied you wouldn't have understanding of it's not possible so you need to because sometimes your wife's attitude is changing you don't know why it's because you've not spent time with her for the past one week two weeks you've been too busy to know what's going on with her some men are so busy they can't even recognize their wife has changed their hairdo too busy say oh okay

[38:11] I didn't realize the woman will be parading up and down parading parading shaking doing whatever and the master doesn't see any difference so how am I looking today you look nice you look nice have you seen anything around my neck oh yeah it's alright have you seen anything around my head no one's trying to point to the hairstyle the new hairstyle she's done not spending time not spending time especially people from our kind of backgrounds because you want to have a story building from where you came from meanwhile you hardly go and live there it's true they want to have a story building that's the statement of their prosperity that we've made it we came to UK and now we've made it so that's the evidence that is to tell the people back home that the one abroad has made it that sacrifice is not worth it you're sacrificing your life your family the joy of your family the joy of your wife your marriage so you can make a statement to people who don't really care about you the best they can do is to take from you that's the best they can do take from you okay she's built a house they've built the story building so they must have a lot so next time when we call them we need to really quick it's really really bad here it's not that bad it's not that bad there they live well most of them they do and you think you have to spend take all your money back home is not true those if you have your immediate family make sure that you make life worth you enjoy life

[40:09] I always say some of my best memories in life is when I was a child because my parents made time for us they made time for us evenings weekends school breaks they didn't have to be a big deal but all we knew we were loved we knew it we were loved we knew that when dad comes home it will be fun he will crack joke sit with us ask you about your day and all of that those are my most cherished memories it gave me this confidence in life that I don't care what somebody else does to me I know my daddy loves me honestly people think oh you are proud and no no honestly I didn't have to have friends outside I didn't couldn't wait to go home I couldn't wait to go home because home was enjoyable I loved it I loved home I love being at home they made time for us and it built us as my siblings myself it built us made a huge difference for us learning to understand making time to study to understand and also to listen women are totally different from men you can tell from our shapes we are different most of most of the time we women we communicate we communicate with our hearts men communicate with our minds it's logic it has to be this way it has to be that way it's you know simple process why can't you understand that's the man stand this is how it's supposed to be ok let's get on and you also want to go on and on and on and on you think what is wrong with this woman that's how she communicates so making time means making time to listen to her giving her the opportunity to express how she feels because those feelings matter it matters because it's the same feelings that can't be expressed as intuition and it is said that a woman's intuition a woman's guess is usually more accurate than a man's precision it's because of those same feelings

[42:20] I don't feel this is right and you've got all your calculations two moms down the line she was right she was right especially about people they are not comfortable about this person listen listen listen listen listen because if we don't make room for that we are not building and bringing the space we are not creating the space for the woman to express themselves I always say that husbands and wives we tell on each other what your wife becomes is an evidence of the hard work you've put in what your husband becomes is an evidence of the hard work you've put in so we have a responsibility to each other you're not going in there thinking that he's going to just you know make you all that you know and no no no it's work that needs to be done on both sides it says live with her as with understanding giving honor to the wife as a weaker vessel and the bible describes the woman as a weaker vessel so in those days a weaker vessel there will be a pot that is rather fine so it's easy if you don't handle it well it breaks like fine china we would call today so it says handle her as a weaker vessel as a fine pottery as a precious pottery that's how you to handle the woman somebody precious to you in church today we see how some men would just treat their wives anyway speak to them anyway and the next minute turn around and compliment another lady how good you look oh you're looking so nice and their wives are like nothing they've been with them all throughout the day morning sat in the car got into church and they never even looked at them but the next minute you see somebody oh you look so nice wow you look nice you constantly compliment women other women never giving any thoughts for your wife in Jesus name honor her for her hard work honor her for keeping the home honor her for keeping your kids clean brushing their teeth on a daily basis making sure that they look alright honor her for that honor her for the meals she cooked even they could be salty or too much pepper but honor her for that because she won't make the efforts and the interesting thing is a meal doesn't just appear most of the time you have to go out buy stuff carry them bring them stand on your feet clean them do whatever and put them together it's very disappointing if it doesn't come out right it took effort on a daily basis especially in our world today where women go out to work and make financial contributions in the home it's important that you take time to honor them it's important it's important even if strangers gave you 20 quid you would think that they are the best in the world you'd appreciate them thank you god bless god bless you go on and on how much more on a regular basis for the woman to make constant financial contributions in the home it's only right for you to appreciate her it's only right it's important that we abide by god's word because it will be a shame for these ups and downs and our marriages don't end up being the success

[46:21] that they are supposed to be prayers being hindered I know that it affects everybody anyway so I really don't want my husband's prayers to be hindered because it's not going to affect him alone it's going to affect me if he's praying for ABC and whatever he has invariably is going to impact on me and our home I really don't want him not to have it I really want him to have it so that all of us can enjoy it so it's nothing for women to now claim that you're not doing this your prayers will be hindered I declare your prayers are being hindered I declare your prayers are being hindered because you're not treating me as such or you're not treating me as that but I believe that God puts it there so that it can be a caution for us in the home that he doesn't delight in whatever he's put together as the marriage not to be enjoyed and for it to not come to its true fruition as he purposed it to be so husbands and wives

[47:24] I hope you heard me and I hope you heard God Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 it says children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord so we look at within families parents and children relationship last week I dwelt a lot on how we should use the word to build our homes especially how in raising our children so I'm not going to dwell too much on that but the scripture says that it's for children to obey their parents and if you are beyond the stage of obedience it's for you to honor your parents because obviously once you hit a certain age your parents won't be telling you that it's now time to go to work and therefore you have to obey that or you have to tend to your wife or you have to tend to your children they don't have that role any longer and therefore after you've moved on from the stage of where you have to obey your parents it says honor your mother and your father and I believe that these things can escape us very easily because we know that we are

[48:47] God is on our side things will be well but God specifically said that we should honor them when you no more can obey your parents it's your responsibility to honor your mother and father and it says that it will be well with you that is why some Christians can struggle in life after all the prayers and hands that has been laid on them all the oils that has been poured on them still struggle in life and some unbelievers can do well in life because this commandment if it's obeyed by the unbeliever equally works for the unbeliever equally works for the unbeliever just the same principle as sowing and reaping don't have to be a Christian to enjoy it there are some unbelievers who enjoy it and it's the saying here honor your parents give them regard honoring them is giving them regard putting them in their place where they belong a place of respect a place of it's important it says that that it will be well with you and you may live long it's not the vitamins that will make sure that you live long not necessarily it's not necessarily the healthy eating because there are people eating healthy and they are rotten down some way it's not the exercise that would necessarily ensure that you live long they are all good but it says when you honor your parents and it says fathers do not provoke your children unto wrath but bring them up in the training and the admonition of God of the Lord instructs discipline and nature in the admonition of the Lord you didn't give birth just to decorate the child and make the child look pretty and also be named that you also have kids train them the Bible says train the word that is used is train them so put them through a set of way of doing things and they will be accustomed to those things and he asks that the admonition of the Lord so not just any training not just any training but God's way of training so it's our responsibility to instruct them discipline them and nurture them in the way of the

[51:11] Lord in other relations in our families could be our siblings our in-laws our in-laws it could be very tricky places having in-laws they are sweet and they are a blessing because without them you you don't have your spouse but in-laws if you are an in-law here I encourage you to be Christian I encourage you to be a Christian please let your Christianity show with your in-laws because some of us when it comes to our in-laws we just lose it who do they think they are they can't be telling us what we are doing here please I beseech thee by the blessings of God that be a Christian to your in-laws because they are so close sometimes yet so far you don't see them but their influence can be so strong because guess what they raised your husband or they raised your wife you can't cut them off guess what they are married to your son or they are married to your daughter the one is so precious to you now they call somebody else precious so it's an inevitable relationship you just can't do without you just can't do without both on the parent side and on the couple side on the people in marriage once you've got in-laws thank God because some of you wish you didn't have in-laws but be

[52:47] Christian Romans chapter 12 verse 18 it doesn't mention in-laws but I would like to just put slots in-laws there so that we'll see how it says Romans 12 verse 18 actually shall we start we can start from verse 17 but the main it said repay no evil for evil your in-laws please don't repay them evil for evil this thing they did five years ago you've been waiting for the opportunity to avenge but the Bible says repay no evil for evil have regard for good things in the sight of all men in the sight of all your in-laws including brothers and sisters in-laws for if possible as much as depends on you live at peace with all your in-laws it can be extremely challenging extremely challenging however if the

[53:51] Bible can instruct us to live peaceably with all men how much more are in-laws they are a lot closer than all men so I encourage you be Christian with them be at peace they may not be at peace with you but ensure that you are at peace with them you can't determine what happens in another person's heart but you can surely determine what happens in your heart which is in reflecting in your attitude and in your actions so if however possible if it requires buying gifts buy them if it requires making phone calls make them if it requires just being there to listen just be there if some of it may require listening to a voicemail where they've insulted you and you don't respond yeah some of it may require that somebody spoken horrible things about you you never did it you were never there but be at peace and be a

[54:54] Christian you may not be able to answer every person who says something about you but make it a point to be a Christian make it a point to exhibit Christ exhibit Christ the Christ you claim to be Lord making a point to exhibit it especially in our families with our in-laws because trying times will come trying times things will happen family issues will come up sometimes you think you've you've you shut all the doors and then a relative passes away and all of a sudden you have to come together you have to deal with them the same people you don't want to know anything about you have to deal with them how would you go about these things bear in mind as they we don't see them on a daily basis on a weekly basis let's not forget the fact that they are still part of us

[55:56] I always say they are your children's uncle they are your children's auntie can't cut them off they matter in family life and therefore husbands and wives parents and children siblings in-laws hear the word of god obey it live it out and it will make all the difference in your life shall we please be on our feet thank you for listening for more resources please visit caries.org or call us on 0207 740 9960 god bless you and and what and and and take love you you and you you youそう