Overcoming Bitterness - Part 2

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[0:31] I started to talk, to teach on dealing with bitterness as the Lord instructed me to.

[0:54] And I want to continue. I started on Wednesday for those of us who are unable to attend Wednesdays or allergic to Wednesday service.

[1:07] Manage to grab or go on the internet and listen to the message. It will do you some good. Praise God. Say overcoming bitterness.

[1:17] Overcoming bitterness. Who can tell me what causes bitterness? Offense. What causes offense? What causes offense? What does it mean to be offended?

[1:36] Generally speaking. When someone says I'm offended, what does it mean? Sorry? I have been, I like what she said. Is it being wronged in your opinion?

[1:48] Sometimes your opinion may be right or wrong, but still you have been wronged. So sometimes you may be wronged and you are actually wronged, but your interpretation of the situation makes you think you have been wronged.

[2:02] That's what she meant by, in your estimation. But then, whatever the situation is, when you feel wronged and you feel that what has been done to you, don't sleep, okay?

[2:13] What has been done to you hasn't been redressed? Then, sometimes it's likely, I just started. So, the journey is long. And the journey is long. So, if you feel that what caused the wrong hasn't been redressed, then you feel like, or you feel marginalized or disenfranchised or unfairly treated, then you are, there's the propensity for you to be hurt, offended.

[2:45] Okay? And when offense is not dealt with and addressed, then it becomes, or when it matures, it then becomes bitterness.

[2:57] And bitterness is wicked. Bitterness is wickedness to self. It's like self-harming, drinking poison.

[3:07] Bitterness is poison. Bitterness is poisonous because it's like, when I was a boy, my mother used to, where we grew up, we don't buy already slaughtered and dressed chicken.

[3:24] We, we grab it ourselves, heart of the head, ourselves, and then we deal with it.

[3:35] We open the, we dress it, we open the, we open the guts, pull out all kinds of stuff.

[3:46] Depending on how hungry you are, some, like, some of the guys here, they used to eat the intestines. Now they haven't seen someone in these over the years. Which of you is that?

[4:02] All right. So, but the point I'm making is that, the reason I said this is, my mom told us and taught us that when you are, you are bringing out the guts, there are some parts of the guts that are edible.

[4:15] You have been eating some, in some of the restaurants, the liver. Okay, the liver. So, it was okay to be eating some of the, yeah. The, the, and the gizzards. Yeah. You know it, yeah.

[4:26] It does, we all do. The, the, the, the, I almost said the lizard. The liver, the gizzards. And some other bits. Now, but the point is that there is something very close to the liver called bile.

[4:39] Very small. If you don't remove it with skill, you spoil everything. Offense. Offense. It's like that. It's like you are about to enjoy your life and then someone best the guile.

[4:57] So, Bible, in fact, there's a place where Paul told Simon, he told someone that you full of the guile of bitterness. Because it's, it's, it's, it's, it's pros the show, the enjoyment in anything.

[5:13] You can't watch this. You can't be bitter and enjoy life. They too are incompatible. They are, uh, mutually exclusive.

[5:26] They are not compatible. Bitterness and enjoyment. They don't go together. some people are not permitted to enjoy marriage not because someone doesn't want them to because they are carrying this girl of bitterness you found it you found a scripture I'm looking for Pastor O they are carrying this bitterness in their system and it spoils everything you can be bitter about one thing and express your efficiency in other things it affects your efficiency so it doesn't stay there it affects a lot of things guess what last Wednesday I started teaching on bitterness after the service the pastor who visited us we were having a chat in my office and there was a great man of God whose name came up very senior minister who passed away about two few months ago and I said what happened to him and the pastor said man of God the things you are preaching is what killed the man of God

[6:39] I said what he said bitterness he was in a certain organization and he I think there were a few leadership problems and he left and when he left the way he was treated I hurt him so bad he was so bitter and he thought he had a few disciples who he expected that these guys should follow me none of them followed him because they were also thinking about their future and this man went he was bitter he started his own church and the church could not thrive because bitterness spoils everything and after a while the man was so bitter he ended up he died so when I spoke to the man of God he said pastor what you are teaching is what killed this great man of God say man of God it makes sense when Bible says that the man of God must not strive the servant of God must not strive did you see that the servant of God in 2 Timothy chapter 2 verse 26 is it 26 or so 2 Timothy chapter 2 verse 20 it says that and the servant of God must not strive 2 Timothy chapter 2 verse 20 24 is it 20 no it can't be 24

[7:52] I mentioned let me check my notes I'll find it 2 Timothy chapter what 24 okay let's do it is it 24 yes that's 24 thank you very much guys you are top of the game you are top of the game and the servant of the Lord must not quarrel KJM said must not strive one of the things you won't find me I'm not I'm in I'm in quarrel with I'm in contention with another man of God another Christian you won't find it if I don't like it I'll tell you if you don't repent or you are not I just keep going and I make sure that I stay away from you so you don't help me I won't I won't I see you fine we relate Christy I don't have a problem but obviously I won't stay since you don't understand what I I won't stay within your so you are not my friend anyway we are not enemies but you are not my friend it's not anybody who can be your friend some people can't be your friends because they don't know how to relate to you they don't know how to handle you or you don't know how to handle them one of them so but one of the things you finally tell me striving with a man of God striving with a man of God so there have been several occasions where a man of God or a pastor or something could have entered into all kinds of strife with me but I never gave them the privilege

[9:17] I will not because I am a Christian you didn't hear that I will not give you the privilege to be in contention with me you know why because I am a Christian whatever you do against me I will relate with you I will relate with you and I am so I am too smart to keep you in my heart bitterness and pain I am too smart I am smarter than that you will not hold me to ransom you will not you will not hold me unforgiveness is the cheaper way of living do you hear what I said unforgiveness is the cheaper way for people who don't have guts and they live mere men mere life because everybody you see when when when when when someone is hungry very very hungry you see you leave your food you may steal it so you say I stole to satisfy my hunger but anyone who has sins let's say you work in the bank and you are at a till or a cashier or something at a counter or a cashier or something and you are being evicted from your house for non-payment because you don't have the money and your account is post money you see this man he comes to and you see thousands or hundreds of thousands of pounds in the account sitting there for about eight years and nothing else you know sometimes if you are not responsible you think

[10:39] I can use some me too I have the money but you are you are not being smart you are not it will come sometimes some of these things will occur to you but it is very preposterous for you to assume that you can do it in the same way unforgiveness it will occur to you that you don't have to forgive this person but you are hurting yourself it's unfair so unforgiveness is so ordinary and a cheaper way of living but a better way of living is you Jesus Jesus did it on the cross they were about killing him beating him spitting on him saying all kinds of things he said Lord when he was crying Lord forgive them for them what do you mean forgive them Lord forgive them Lord forgive them Lord forgive them because he will not let them hold him to ransom forgiveness is not a suggestion to the Christian is a command if you can't forgive you will end in bitterness and bitterness can never make anything better in your life bitterness never makes anything better let's all say that together alright look at someone and tell the person bitterness never makes anything better

[12:02] I didn't say internet I said bitterness praise the Lord bitterness is a trap bitterness is a bait of Satan did you hear what I said I said bitterness is a trap in the bait of Satan you are not listening to me I'm preaching good you guys are not very careful I told you someone should get up and say we get some drummers on the drum all right let's get on with business bitterness is a trap who is trapping you

[13:06] Satan trapping you away from your destiny into his plan for you and his plan is destruction so that later on people will look at you and say oh he's failed in life he's failed in life he's a trap he's the bait of Satan and so as long as you discover you notice and address or identify it as such it helps you to walk away from the trap how can you be led by your feelings just think about it any woman who will tell you I love him so much I couldn't hear of myself always to tell you I ended up crying am I speaking the truth here I know you don't want anybody to know you've been there but if you let your emotions lead you some of us wouldn't have had a job by now if you were being led by emotions because some of us have bosses that look like Satan himself you know what I'm talking about don't lift up your hand in case don't tell me your wife is

[14:18] Satan your husband is Satan that one is a different matter God gives you a matching wife and a matching husband he looks at you and he says you have trouble with her I'll get you with your wife I'll get you with your husband so whatever your wife is take her like that okay and whatever your husband is take him like that but if it's your boyfriend girlfriend that one you have to start thinking about advice because now that he's a boyfriend or a girlfriend or you know let me not even use that but fiance anything you see in courtship gets accentuated aggravated in marriage it becomes really big so whatever you see in courtship is like a baby who is just nine months about to be born that's courtship now when he's born when you enter the marriage you see it's like a beard so don't see some issues and things that don't worry we'll marry we'll be okay we'll sort it out it doesn't get sorted out after marriage but once you're already in believe God for grace and to death do aspire that's what it means that's what it means for those of you who are not married you should be thanking

[15:49] God every day that you have not yet made the mistake because you are still waiting for the right person bitterness is not good bitterness can never make anything better in life today I want to focus on how to overcome bitterness overcoming bitterness it's interesting in Genesis chapter 50 in Genesis chapter 50 from verse 15 interesting story about Joseph and his brothers when his brothers found out that Joseph knew who they were and when Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead they said perhaps Joseph will hate us and may actually repay us for all the evil we have which we did to them okay to him sorry which we did to him so they knew when you it says that they were expected they were afraid that the

[16:54] God is going to do them harm and then so they had to concoct a story to tell him that you know when your dad was alive go to the 16 so they sent messages to Joseph saying before your father died he commanded saying verse 17 he commanded saying that you shall say to Jesus I beg you please forgive the trespass of him they had to concoct something devise something to tell him so that he doesn't lay it against them because they knew that what they did against this guy was so malicious that there's no way any ordinary human being unforgived they knew see unforgiveness is natural but it's not godly that's why bible talks out we shouldn't live according to the flesh so they concorded a story and said forgive please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin for they did evil to you now please forgive the trespass of the servants of

[17:58] God of your father and joseph wept when they spoke to you know why he wept you know why he wept now when you go to the next verse or two verses one but let's go to the then his brothers also went and fell fell down before his face and they said behold we are your servants they are trying to appease do anything please you see why joseph wept verse 19 this is why you wept i believe joseph said to them do not be afraid you missed it i don't have anything against you i couldn't have i wouldn't have gotten where i am you didn't get it bitterness will cap your destiny you will stay where you are and unfortunately if you don't take it those who have done you evil will still be going on and we think this is evil and like that and you till you die chances are that you may never see them repay what they have done against you that's life because the older you grow the more you discover that life can be very unfair so if you think that life is unfair so me to our fight and fight you gotta fight fight fight fight something like that

[19:35] I think there's a song like that you have to fight fight fight fight so you lost school you realize that some battles are not worth fighting all right the older ones who are lost don't worry I'm still in your team but Joseph said do not be afraid for I am in the place of God think about that I am so he was actually rejoicing sorry for am I in the place of God in other words what he's trying to say that am I God to hold it against you I can't keep it against you for God go to the next verse that's why go to the next verse says that as for you you meant it you meant evil against me but God meant it see who who meant what what is the it talking about what what are referring to the same it think about that both are referring to the same it it's like can I use marriage or this it's like a woman or a man who finds the wife this one you are a demon it's a demon it's a demon live my life or a woman who think this is the biggest devil

[21:02] I've ever come across I hate you and then the man finds another woman and this is the best angel I've ever found it's the same person but from different angles same person now what I'm saying is that Joseph said you meant evil against me God meant it for good that same evil you meant God meant the evil for good that's why I said if you have God if you are hooked onto God you can't sink no no plot in hell hashed or unhashed can harm you when you are hooked onto God and on the course of destiny listen nobody is responsible for where you are you didn't hear that nobody even that father who didn't pay your fees and abandoned your mother he is not responsible for where you are you know who is responsible for where you are you nobody is responsible for your laughter

[22:03] God would have given your teeth to them no no nobody is responsible for your laughter you are so as long as you hold people in your heart now you did this against me I can't let go I can't let go that means what you are saying is I can't let go myself into my destiny and sometimes the danger of bitterness is such that you don't mind losing anything or everything to pay someone back that's how bad bitterness is you don't mind even if they were in prison you prefer being in prison so long as this person has been paid back but that's never that's never win win you don't win you actually lose the best way to win is shut them out of your heart forgive them and move on and later on they'll meet you in life and they'll come back like joseph's brother saying please forgive us at the time they'll come you'll always be on talk do you know why because romans chapter 12 verse 17 says that we are all going to read it together sorry senior minister we are all going to read it together let's read it together let's go repair no one evil for evil have regard for good things in the sight of let's read the first statement are you not reading loud let's read it out let's go who says god now this is where you choose who to obey it's kind of harsh isn't it it looks like harsh why shouldn't that pay evil to what he did to me he has to pay for it what he's doing to me can't you see he doesn't even repent he doesn't he's not even sorry look at him look at him don't worry bible says repent pastor william i saw a scripture which was so scary a few years ago it says that anyone who pays evil for good so so um i pay evil okay i do him good i will not pay evil so as i do him good i do him good and he pays back evil for me do you know what bible says it says that evil will never leave that person's house the easiest way oh it's in the bible i will quote it for you look for it for yourself you'll find the scholars look for it for me it's in proverbs and another place now when you do me good and i pay evil for the good you have done me bible says that evil will never depart from your house it's a serious thing it's a serious thing no yeah i don't care i don't believe oh no no that that one that's not your opinion it's just like your hair does it grow upward or inward it grows out it doesn't grow in so you can't change it i don't care it doesn't matter what it still is growing thank you are you found that scripture proverbs 17 13 yes bless you mr key bodies proverbs 17 whoever rewards evil for good evil will not depart from did you see that so when you do someone good they pay you for they pay you evil for the good don't leave it they

[26:03] have gone for it they have gone for it the thing we follow everywhere they go there are children there are husbands there are wives so if you have a relative who is paying somebody evil for good please beg the person because he's coming on you because people say evil will not depart from their house that's that's that's the manufacturing center of evil it stays there and cripples everyone there it's serious that is why he said you don't pay evil for evil someone did you leave them verse 19 talks in verse 19 in Romans chapter 12 it says that the reason why you shouldn't pay evil for evil is God owns some stuff beloved do not avenge yourselves but rather give place to wrath for it is written vengeance is mine I will pay says the Lord go pay vengeance is mine so now if you go and take what belongs to God you rather become the thief you rather become the thief he said glory is mine the tithe is mine the vengeance is mine in scriptures these three things

[27:10] Bible says it's ghost don't take it if you are a tither and you always learn you praise you praise you praise you're giving God glory and yet you have vengeance in your heart you've come back to the same you see what I'm saying because you've taken what belongs to God Jesus on the cross he said father forgive them because he needed to release them in order for him to go to his destiny in the book of second Samuel chapter chapter six very interesting story about David sorry first Samuel chapter 26 I'm sorry first Samuel chapter 26 a very interesting story about David verse eight this is Saul wanted to kill him Saul was looking for David to kill him and then do you know what David and his one of his commanders called Abishai they went into the camp of

[28:10] Saul Bible says that God made deep sleep fall on Saul's soldiers and his bodyguards they all fell fell slept so deep David and Abishai went into the camp and then Saul was lying there the one who was looking for David to kill David spared his life for the first time he thought Saul would have said okay David is a good guy so I won't kill him Saul afterwards pursued him to kill him again so now he saw him God gave his enemy into his hands he saw him sleeping and his sword was near him and his jug of water and Abishai said God has delivered your enemy into your hands this day now therefore please let me strike him at once with the spear right to the earth and I will not have to strike him a second time once Abishai is a strong man said let me give him just one touch and we are gone let me deal with him he got it Abishai said God has given you said God has given me since the things we call breakthrough we have to be careful how we handle it someone undermined you and you were fired from a job and then you got another job and then one day this guy's application came the same person looking for your application for you

[29:27] God didn't give you the job to fight back that's what I'm trying to say he didn't give you the job to fight back some of us drivers someone you are trying to find your way in and they never gave you the chance you almost had an accident and then you went and then later on now they told the they wanted to buy you I got you but David verse 9 David said don't do that David said to Abishai do not destroy him for who can stretch out his hand against the lost anointed and be guiltless you can't do that leave the man alone and so they took his sword and went away later on when they woke up they shouted we have your sword we could have killed him and then David said I'm not against you and all that David had his enemy but he didn't kill his enemy that's why when it was time for him to have been cut off when he went to commit adultery with someone's wife and committed murder

[30:32] God still spared him because he knew how to let go his enemy bitterness is destroying somebody's life and this is a year of unusual harvest and yet your harvest keep going back sliding away from you because bitterness is driving them harvest flee from bitterness harvest seizes it runs away it says I can't stay here how do I deal with bitterness number one how do I overcome bitterness number one be determined to go God's way in other ways free yourself by determining that I'm determined to do it the way God says did you hear last week the lady's testimony he said she has a friend at work who's an 80s and the 80s said oh me I can't forgive you Christians you just don't forgive me I can't forgive anybody and later on even the leader later on went and found show me how I can do because I realized that that's the way forward watch this the point

[31:38] I'm making is that be determined to obey God and leave the consequences to him did you hear what I said be determined to so first of all you can't embark on it because it could be that you are here and you are suffering you are in pain it's natural it doesn't mean I do not appreciate your pain actually I may not be feeling the way you feel it but I'm trying to bail you out by God's word other than that I see you going down bitterness is like you see it's like a nine year old pregnant woman sorry nine month old pregnant woman who is trying to win the race sprint or trying to play football nine month old nine month pregnant trying to play the football and be as normal or let's say Serena Williams is nine months pregnant and she still wants to play tennis normal no you can't do it you are going down are you getting it so it's a weight very big weight say I'm free say I'm free alright so first of all be determined to go

[32:55] God's way we just read from Romans Bible says that God's vengeance is mine only God knows why he inspired me to teach this message I don't have a clue but I believe it's for somebody's greatness I believe somebody's greatness is being released in this place I said someone's greatness is being released in this place so number one go God's way Matthew chapter 11 verse 29 Jesus said take upon yourself my yoke because that's a better way take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly heart and you will find rest for your souls for my yoke is easy and my burden is light so said my yoke is easy and my burden is light let's all say my yoke is easy let's say it again my yoke is easy so it's a yoke it's weight okay genuinely honestly it's weight to try and release people and forgive them it's a lot of work isn't it oh maybe you have never been offended or wronged or hurt and the people the man who hurt you can't be bothered and to throw insults into injury you're going around saying malicious things and saying bad things scandalous things about you rather it hurts so bad such that it is much work to try and let the person go it's like sometimes i just can't do it pastor i just can't am i talking to someone sometimes you just can't do it that is the yoke jesus said but it's a yoke but that yoke is lighter than the carrying the thing itself my yoke is easy and my burden is light so number one way to overcome bitterness is be determined i've made that my mind to go god don't only sing it don't even sing it goodbye where no no no mean it mean it i've made that my mind to go god how do you do that mean it do you understand mean it tell somebody mean what you sing i like joshua said and sing what you mean mean what you sing and sing what you mean all right so number two know know and keep god's will you must know what god will is god's will is and i've told us sometimes you may find people coming around you say it doesn't matter this is why you have to do this be very sure what god's will is so long as bitterness is concerned all right and god's will is clear unambiguous let people go lose that woman and let her go lose that man and let him go number three so number one is what number one is what number two no god's will and i some some 119 verse 17 to 19 talks about how can a young man verse 9 and then verse 19 talking about how can a verse 9 how can a young man cleanse his way by doing to your word verse 9 obeying according to your word all right so the way you can get yourself clean is to know what god's word is saying and we we've also seen in romans what god wants number three this is very important i discovered that listen if you do if any time watch this oh oh anytime you want to obey god don't do it with your own strength that's where most of us are failing i determine i won't gossip again i won't gossip again hey me hey me okay see and i go the next time you even did it more than you i determined that this thing i won't do it again i won't do it but i will go there this time i'll

[36:56] be able to stand here i'll be able to deal with him i'll be able to do it i'll go i won't any you go you think that you are so strong only to realize that you are very weak oh lord give me my last power so so so so it is it's very important to appreciate the fact that if you want to deal with uh bitterness you have to pray about it pray don't say okay me is it i said something there is a difference between faith work and willpower this whole thing is with no will power your will is not powerful enough your will is good what your will should make you do is i have i use my will i'm determined that i am going to do anything god's word says and the means that the god was suggests to obey god and so pray about things someone hurt you so bad pray about it don't pray god curse him back god don't let let let let his air condition begin to produce heat let in the middle of winter let his heater break down boiler break down just when he's in the shower let his high heel break when she's running to catch the train twist the leg and he'll say uh-huh swine you learn sense no that's not the kind of prayer i'm talking about guess what every genuine prayer changes the one who prays so don't pray to change things pray to change you the prayer that changes you is the one we call effective prayer because the answers are with you and so if you don't change for you to move forward and grab it the miracle will be waiting for you the answers will be waiting for you because things won't change you have to change all right so pray that god watch this bible says that he came to heal the broken hearted to have to be to have a broken heart is not easy but god's grace i've not had some before but i know particularly women when a woman falls in love and gets broken hearted when they are walking sometimes they shake it's not good to have a broken hearted god can heal you so what i'm trying to say is pray that god give me grace to work with your word give me grace not to keep this in my heart give me grace pray about things like that you know what i'm saying pray about things like that she treated you unfairly pray about it to let her go don't think how you are superman i can't deal with it cat woman i can deal with it no pray about it for the holy no you know what paul said watch this but out of the way before then in philippians chapter 4 verse 13 he said i can do all things through christ whose strength where my strength comes from i can do it but it's not by my own strength i can do it through christ bible says that be strong in the lord and in the power of his might ephesians chapter 6 verse 12 be strong in the lord and in the power of his might and so it's not your strength but interesting beautifully i like the way paul puts it ephesians chapter 1 verse 15 he says therefore since i heard about your faith i heard of your faith in the lord your love for the saints verse 16 he says that verse 16 let's all read it together ready are you ready to go let's go thanks for you making mention of you see when i

[40:56] heard about your faith and your love i do not cease to make me give thanks for you making mention praying for you pray what kind of prayer was he praying it's strange to hear him pray watch this he said that i pray verse verse 17 i'm praying for you that the god of our lord jesus christ the father of glory may give you they give you the spirit of wisdom and wisdom and revelation the knowledge of him then the next one talks about that your eyes being the eyes of your understanding being enlightened now this thing is to know to know to know to know it's not based on just spirit you don't you are not just there you begin to know you have to seek for information but he said i'm praying for you so prayer plays a major role in our acquisition in the things of god now in ephesians chapter 3 verse 16 but 15 and 16 the same thing in ephesians chapter 1 verse 15 what we just is prayer for enablement in a sorry enlightenment but in ephesians chapter 3 verse 15 and 16 prayer for enablement so verse verse 15 but verse 15 go back to verse 15 said for whom there is verse 14 okay from verse 14 he's talking about how he prayed about my new sister for this reason about my niece what does that connotate all right about my niece means prayer it doesn't mean like i just do this i bow my niece means pray okay i bow my niece to the father of our lord jesus christ i pray for you okay verse 15 that's qualification about god for whom all things come from verse 17 let's say verse 16 sorry go to that verse 16 that he will grant you according to the rich of glory to be strengthened with might okay to be strengthened with might through his spirit in your inner man so prayer can strengthen you prayer gives you spiritual might spiritual fortitude so pray about something if god says do something and you're struggling pray you don't want to fornicate have you prayed about it pray and then stop going stop going there but pray first why have you cried on me they have left church they are still in church say pray okay okay you don't want to watch the pornography again on the computer or facebook or all the way pray what do you do pray please clap for me what do you who said and then flee yeah pray and flee but you can't just flee because sometimes you don't have it in you some people have been trying to flee and you are not getting you are going you're going to flee and you're going to flee and you're going to you're going to flee and you're going to flee and you're going to you see to let you go you have to pray then begin to free free yourself to flee praise god all right so pray about it and then number four decide to forgive regardless say regardless say regardless say regardless in other words in spite of whatever the situation is I've made that my mind

[44:01] I've see first one spoke about be determined to do god's will or go god's way now this other point of my voice decide that I'm going to forgive I'm going to because don't think that one day I'll be there and they think forgiveness will just jump on me and I'll feel the special forgiving spirit has come on me it does not happen decide that listen I'm forgiveness is not watch this watch this watch this forgiveness is not a feeling forgiveness is a decision forgiveness is not a feeling forgiveness is a decision let's all say it's all together forgiveness is not a feeling forgiveness is I know someone some of you know say look at someone tell the person forgiveness is not a feeling I said look at someone tell the person forgiveness is not a feeling forgiveness is a decision decision. Praise God. So decide that regardless of what has been done against me, what I will hear later, I will forgive.

[45:05] Number five, avoid constant, constantly meditating or pondering or discussing the events that led to you being hurt. You are constantly thinking about it. Hey, can't this person have done this? Could you have this done this against me? Hmm. Hmm. Instead of thinking of God's word, I will say, and it's where does he meditate day and night? You are thinking about what has been done. It's natural. No, no, listen, it's natural. Okay. So it can come naturally. It can come naturally. And these thoughts will constantly keep coming to you. Constantly keep. But then you have to stop nurturing. Stop nurturing these kind of thoughts or pondering over how events transpired, how events panned out. I remember.

[45:55] So when she told me to, I shouldn't have done this. Or when he, when he asked me to pay the money into his account, I should have waited. And I also was so foolish that I did it. So you'll be thinking about it. You'll be thinking. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, thank you for that, Pastor Frank. So after thinking on all this, he says, anyway, I thank God. You know, so you spiritualize it. But anyway, and, and the enemy will keep bringing this kind of things to you. He'll keep bringing to rehearse it. So you'll be thinking, sitting somewhere. Hmm. Hey. So is this me? Hey. Me who? Hmm. Human beings. Now, you are not very old. but now your your, eh, what do you call it? Cheek has started dripping because every time.

[46:48] change it see i told you god didn't put give your smile to some people he gave it to you that's why i gave your shit to you so that you can choose to smile anytime smile some people can't even smile smile brother life is too short for you not to be able to enjoy your life smile look at somebody just smile oh so praise the lord look at this proverbs chapter 20 verse 19 see there are 13 people who make you keep thinking about these things proverbs 20 19 they are called tail bearers that's your ex-husband the man that i saw him with your best friend and then all of a sudden i think i'm like oh god and they begin to think he said he said he who goes about as a tail bearer reveals secrets because there are some things that must be kept a secret because when they are revealed they just wound and hurts listen to this some people when they come and tell you something begin to think why are you telling me this why are you telling you know i'm already hurting why are you telling me this tail bearer they are bearing tails around have you heard what they are saying about you now have you heard have you heard have you heard have you heard watch this it's very important it can hurt you so be careful about tail bearers there's another scripture about in um proverbs chapter is the same thing proverbs chapter 11 verse 13 talks about tail bearers also revealing secrets now the next point because i want to run quickly the next point is number six surround yourself with godly people now i'll explain what i mean by godly i didn't say church people you know what i'm talking about there are some church people they are more than agents they dance with us they shout with us they sing with us but they bear tales strange tales that divide our ranks those people god does not really take them lightly when you read proverbs chapter 16 talks about some seven things god does not like he hates the seventh one all right so proverbs chapter 26 verse 20 proverbs 26 verse 20 also talks about tail bearers the same thing proverbs 26 verse 20 it says in my bible in my bible it says hallelujah hallelujah okay let me reach for the screen because of my time where there is no wood the fire goes out and where there is no tail bearer no fire those of us who are who have um fireplaces the proper one in our homes you keep have to you have to just put some wood to keep the fire going when wood is finished fire goes out or the coal is finished fire goes out right in the same way where there are no tail bearers no fire so no stripes will cease but tail bearers sometimes we become our own tail bearers by pulling all kinds of information from the internet

[50:54] from this and then begin to ponder over it ponder surround yourself with godly people the verse 22 talks about let's go you see the words of tail bearers are like tasty trifles and they go down into the innermost body when somebody tells you know have you realized that if they tell you what they are saying about you what that your enemy or that one did that your best friend who has telling your enemy what he said about you do you have realize how go so deep it cuts so deep go so deep goes down down into the innermost body that's why you have to be careful about tail bearers some people they are professional tail bearers please avoid them stay away from them for your own health and safety because you can't be holding walking around carrying bitterness and pain it will help you so some people will call you pick your phone and call you hey i saw you hey i saw her bang the phone oh my pastor that's that's not fair if you knew what they what they are going to tell you how it you know but have you realized we like human means we like that a lot it's like i don't even want to tell you if i tell you no no you it's okay i don't want to because you go and tell pastor or you you sell your church you are preaching about so i will tell you then guess what oh you tell me i know i know i know how to deal with you no no tell me tell me when they tell you that i don't want to tell you say hippie then talk to you later you know what they are saying i think i should leave it because naturally we crave to know naturally we crave to know the negative particularly that concerns us did you know what they're saying about your shoes they said it was on credit and all of a sudden you check you can't wear the shoe again when you see them coming you ought to go now why punishing yourself like that so be careful of table and surround yourself with godly bible says in the multitude of counselors their safety now what do i mean some people have suffered marital setbacks which they wouldn't have if they had godly people around them because usually marriages and relationships go through some turbulence but if you don't take people around you they may even be christians they will tell you me i preach i preach myself you know even my church i'm the one of the preachers in the church but i'm telling you the way this man is going you have to be smart you know what i'm talking about what he has done to you you don't have to forgive this one you don't forget it don't let go and so people can can poison you be careful who speaks into watch this who speaks into your ears regarding the issue you are hurt about because it will aggravate things and it will poison you more that's what i'm trying to say so surround yourself with people who you know that they can't tell you otherwise but what god's word dictates and sometimes you need to hear what others have got to say and help you to help you go forward praise the lord so sarah what's the first point i made how do you overcome bitterness be determined to go away number two know and keep his will number three pray about number four decide to forgive regardless number five avoid constantly meditating or pondering uh discussing the event that led to your being heard number number six number seven is almost like number six seek godly counsel the reason why i added this is sometimes you know you think situations are so complicated you are confused you don't know what to do talk to someone who give you godly counsel you understand what i'm saying sometimes you are confused it's hurting you you just don't know what to do though you know you have to forgive but the situation is just it's not just the forgiveness there it's so complicated and you want your head to be cleared seek godly counsel anyone who doesn't learn how to seek counsel can die midstream no one is an authority on himself no by himself no one all of us need counsel

[55:02] all of us sometimes i speak to some senior ministers most times not sometimes uh what should what do you think how do you think i should handle this situation a pastor friend of mine called me some time ago he said man of god i'm in trouble what is it my praise and worship leader has been caught in fornication man of god i don't know what to do how do i handle this one and the man of god said pastor watch you know you have to have godly counselors around seek counsel because so sometimes in the midst of in the midst of a situation you are so confused because sometimes your desire can cloud your judgment your natural bend your natural inclination can cloud sensible godly judgment so sometimes you have it's good to pause one my pastor years ago made this statement he said never made a permanent decision based on a temporal situation never made a permanent decision me i will never have talked about the work done something that just happened temporary situation but in the midst of your pain we have the propensity to make a major decision see i i escape so it's always good to seek counsel talk to someone but it's not listen to this it's not godly to say this and it's not spiritually mature say huh why everything do i have to go and tell pastor is the church leader i'll sort it myself and you for three years you can't solve the thing and it's killing yourself i don't want to bother anybody actually you're suffering and your demise will bother us more so let's help come let's help you so that we can all laugh with you because we can tell from your face that you are you are suffering you you are suffering man of god it's good to see you the scripture said bear one another's burden and you want to bear your own burden and the people you have been discussing this with us some of these people who don't understand anything about scripture and they have been here advising you and you can tell he's killing you killing me softly he's killing you am i talking to someone with the microphone i don't know why i took it when i come under the fire of the holy ghost anything in my way that's why people who sit in front i keep slapping them you know when i used to do praise and worship i can jump and stand on something like this when the thing comes i just can't be three yeah i i i i can jump on three little no don't say that but there's no tree in africa strange places we've done this work in all kinds of places so permit me to hold this i'm fired up i said i'm fired up i am fired up ready to hold now the last one the last one the last one the last thing listen the last thing i think it's distracting some of you let me put it there yeah moses had a rod but because he used his word wrongly so he didn't go to canada let me put the rock last thing is very important there's a few things i could have mentioned but i just wanted to restrict it to a few now last thing i want to say bitterness how to move on move on stop getting stuck move on brother joseph move on if joseph had not moved on his brothers would have known that it was good we saw this guy away he moved on he was in prison but he moved on he was he was in person he still moved on he went to prison he ended up in pharaoh's house and he still moved on yeah his brothers came he said i don't feel it you rather have god who sent me here yeah i'm glad you obeyed god he moved on because jesus has gone to be in glory and his forgiving sins move on tell someone just move on listen it's true it happened it's true that he didn't try it's true that

[59:12] that's not nice okay we can cry a little bit it's true but how long will you be crying how long will you be crying always trying to move forward looking backwards move forward move on move on god will move you on you have to move on take the responsibility to decide that me i won't be stuck in the past again i am moving on shall move on move on move on shall i am moving on shall i am moving on in the name of jesus can you get something rest your feet and give the lord thank you for listening for more resources please visit caris.org or call us on 0207 740 9960 god bless you