Parenting and Today's Sexual Realities

[0:00] Seeking hormone therapy and surgery is because of what is being called rapid onset gender dysphoria.

[0:12] ! Which is largely being fueled by the internet culture that many of our children are exposed to.! And websites like Reddit and YouTube where other trans identified people celebrate being transgender.

[0:29] And all the social and medical transition processes involved. As I think about it, I believe that the three major contributing factors.

[0:41] The first I would say is we live, I believe, at a time when we were perhaps the most attention craving generation that's ever lived.

[0:53] And we have means by which we can crave attention via the internet. And one of the common ways that people crave attention is they go against the grain. They are contrarian.

[1:05] And transgenderism goes against the grain. And it's attractive to a lot of young people who may not be getting the kind of attention that they want in their homes and otherwise.

[1:18] And everyone is competing for more attention. And second, I believe that we are living at a time where people in particular are idolized. And the sanitized word for human idols is celebrities.

[1:34] And because of their fan base, celebrities are able to promote all manner of things. It's not just limited to sunglasses and clothing. They also promote lifestyles.

[1:47] The most prominent one being homosexuality. And when a person's favorite celebrity comes out as being homosexual or comes out as being transgender, generally speaking, people become okay with that because that's their idol, that's their celebrity.

[2:05] And children especially are affected because they're very impressionable. And they're easily led to imitate the life of this celebrity. And then the third reason for this rapid advance in gender confusion, I think, is information communication technology, especially the internet.

[2:25] We live at a time where ideas can go at the speed of light almost around the world. Ideas abound.

[2:37] And people have unfiltered access to them. For example, if I were to ask in this room, what do you think is the most child-friendly program on TV?

[2:54] I won't take the time to do it because I was going to ask, but because we're pressed for time, I'm pretty convinced that most of you would say it's Sesame Street. I think most people would say, yeah, it's Sesame Street.

[3:07] Probably the most child-friendly program on. But do you know that just last year, Sesame Street, in a surprise Pride Month move, announced its support for the LGBT movement?

[3:22] The show's official Twitter account displays an image of Sesame Street's biggest celebrity character, Elmo, next to his multicolored Muppet friends.

[3:34] A clear tribute to the gay Pride rainbow flag. This was in June of last year. These and other sources are influencing our children and causing many of them to be confused about human sexuality in general and their own sexuality in particular.

[3:55] There's no doubt that even away from these realities of renouncing in this world, some children do struggle with aspects of their sexuality during puberty.

[4:10] And this would have been even from our time. But what studies have consistently shown is that children who are supported and guided through that process, to say to a boy who says, I'm a girl, to say, no, you have male biology.

[4:26] And so you are male and support that child along the way. Generally speaking, most of these children grow that kind of confusion. But what's happening today is that a lot of parents are taking that confusion as a fixed reality.

[4:41] They're giving these children hormone treatments. They're giving them gender reassignment surgery. And so the result of it is they are doubly confused when at a point when they would be growing out of it, they find that their breasts are gone.

[4:58] Or they find that their hormones are different. And one of the results is that many of these individuals are suicidal and many do commit suicide.

[5:10] Just recently, an online magazine, The Federalist, said that in the United States, girls as young as 13 are undergoing mastectomies for gender dysphoria.

[5:23] And federal tax dollars are being used to fund it. Now, while those dangers that I expressed are really not very common in the Bahamas, they are uncommon, we should not make the mistake of thinking that they're not relevant to our parenting just because they're not very common.

[5:53] We need to be aware of them as we parent our children. But we also need to be aware of the heterosexual sexual dangers in the Bahamas in particular.

[6:06] We live in a country where children legally at the age of 16 can engage with sexual intercourse with others 16 or even adults much older than them.

[6:21] The age of sexual consent for heterosexual sex is 16. For homosexual sex, it's 18. We have a Minister of Health, Dr. Dwayne Sands, who supports giving free condoms and contraceptives to students younger than 16, even though the law says only at 16 they can engage in sex.

[6:48] And the law really is a contradiction because even right now the state of affairs is that a child younger than 18 cannot on his or her own access contraceptives from the state.

[7:03] So a girl who is allowed legally to have sex can go and get birth control at 16, but she can get pregnant. And then her parents are responsible in that way.

[7:15] Dr. Sands also supports legalized abortion. Today, more than 65% of the children born in the Bahamas are born outside of marriage, and the percentage is increasing.

[7:31] And so this means that increasingly more sexual relations are taking place outside of marriage than in marriage. And even if our children are not seeing this in our homes, they're observing it in the community and sometimes in extended families.

[7:50] And these are opportunities for us to be talking with our children about human sexuality. And one of the things I would say to you as parents, I mean, all of us, we are fallen, broken people.

[8:08] And so we all have our share of sins and decisions we've made that we regret and we wish we hadn't made them. And there are some parents who take the view that because they made their mistakes, they're going to go easy on their children and let them make, hopefully they won't make the same mistake, but they really wouldn't try to get in the way for them to be protected in that way.

[8:31] I don't think that's wise. I think it is legitimate to seek to parent our children, even in ways that we ourselves did not follow.

[8:44] Because of lack of wisdom, just because of sin. And sometimes if it is evident enough, we can even use our own examples to help them to see that's not the way that you want to go.

[8:55] Sometimes, and we have to do that in appropriate ways, if it's not something that a child is not aware of, it may not be wise to disclose that. But if it's already something that's open, for example, if a child was conceived before marriage and that's known and evident, you can talk about that.

[9:15] Talk about the consequences of that. When we consider as well, the data that's being fed to our children, it is just mind-boggling what children are being exposed to today.

[9:36] There's all kinds of sexual content available to them, including pornography on television and cable and at their fingertips on the internet. And the hearts and minds of many young people are being negatively affected and in some cases damaged because of the inappropriate sexual content that they are viewing that tends to naturally lead to experimentation.

[10:03] And what is tragic is that many young people's first exposure to human sexuality is through pornographic content or some other kind of deviant sexual conduct in their own homes.

[10:22] Courtesy of parents who pay for the cable services that lists right along with all the other titles, the pornographic titles, right to the bottom of the menu.

[10:34] And that's true of Rev TV. That's true of Flow TV. Pay for the internet service that's unfiltered and brings everything into the house.

[10:46] Pay for the smart devices on which they access this content. Now, I know this could be despairing.

[10:58] And I realize that some of what I've told you, you already know, and it's bad news. But sometimes we need to hear the bad news before we can really appreciate the good news.

[11:11] I only painted this picture for you to remind you of some of the sexual realities that you and I face as parents. So what can we do?

[11:25] Well, let me suggest three things in this first session. First thing I would say is pray to God. Pray to God for yourself and for your children, acknowledging that you need his help.

[11:39] Pray about specific concerns that you are aware of in your parenting for yourself, for your children. And ask for God's grace to help. And I'm not assuming that every person here is a follower of Jesus Christ.

[11:56] And if you're not, I would say to you the more important prayer to pray is one of repentance and turning to God through Jesus Christ.

[12:08] But we need God's grace for parenting. But we need God's grace for parenting. I honestly don't know of an endeavor in life other than parenting that will bring you to your knees if you commit to it.

[12:26] It will bring you to your knees. It will help you to see that you cannot change the human heart. You can instruct.

[12:38] You can be an example. You can do many things. But you cannot change the human heart. And when you recognize that, you cry out to the only one who can, asking him to do what you cannot do.

[12:54] I think that's the foundation for being the kind of parent we need to be in this world that is filled with sexual and digital dangers as we seek to guide our children.

[13:11] Second, I would say equip yourself. And thanks for being here. This is an example of you equipping yourself, carving out the time. Parenting takes time. Parenting is not a sprint.

[13:23] It is a marathon. Minimum, it is a marathon for 18 years. And some of us who have older children will know it goes beyond 18 years. It looks different, but it's parenting all the same.

[13:39] And so you want to equip yourself. Equip yourself in an ongoing way. The parenting skills that you have when your children are, say, toddlers to maybe seven, they're going to be different for when they are eight through the teenage years.

[13:57] Along the way, you need to be thinking about that. And so one of the things we're going to be doing is we will be at the end of the seminar, we're going to be sharing with you some resource links that you can evaluate and consider to use in an ongoing way.

[14:13] Some are websites, some are newsletters that you can subscribe to. And there are people, thank God, who are engaged in thinking through a lot of these things that are happening in the world and helping parents on how to navigate through them.

[14:29] Even making us aware of things that we ordinarily wouldn't be aware of today. Probably in another couple of years when others are aware, but they can see things coming and they will share that information with us.

[14:40] And then obviously the recordings from today will be available online and you'd be able to access those after the conference. We'll send you an email linking you to all of that.

[14:51] And the third, I would say, is you need to commit to the stewardship of parenting. Parenting is a stewardship. The Bible tells us in Psalm 127 verse 3 that children are a heritage from God.

[15:06] They are a gift that God entrusts to us and we are to do our best to raise them in accordance with the views and values of the one who gave them to us. Not our own, not somebody else's, but in terms of what God thinks.

[15:22] And truth is, for every stewardship there will be a day of accounting and we will give an account one day for our children. And I pray that we will all be found faithful.

[15:33] All right, that's all I have for the first session. Are there any questions before we move into the second session? Could we just, if you wouldn't mind, I can probably get...

[15:48] Okay, Sean, can I borrow you to carry this mic, please? Thank you. She'll carry it. Good morning, everybody.

[16:04] I would just like to thank you, Pastor Sam Moss, for hosting such a wonderful seminar. And I would just like to say that I think parenting is a lifetime journey, you know, bringing them up from infancy to adulthood.

[16:21] And then, you know, it's going to even take efforts into when the grandkids come along, you know, to assist with that initiative.

[16:33] Also, too, I'd like to say with the movement that is going on, I read something online, I think a lot of part of last month, where the gay drag queens host an annual library reading for preschool and toddlers.

[16:58] And this is something that they push heavily in the US. And also, too, you have organizations like the UN that have a section called the curriculum, core curriculum, that exclusively promotes this and advise countries and even offer them monies and incentives to, you know, have these things, you know, in their countries.

[17:25] So, you're looking at the country, but you got to look at the people and the resources coming out of the places like the UN and other big organizations.

[17:37] Yeah. Yeah. So, parents, we got to be very alert. We got to be vigilant. We got to, again, pray spiritual warfare. I'm strong about that.

[17:49] Because these things, we're not wrestling against just institutions or countries. We're wrestling with the polities, powers, and spirits, invisible forces that are propelling these things, you know?

[18:05] So, we got to put on our discernment. We can't, this is not Christianity as usual. We have to educate ourselves. Okay. Thanks for sharing that. We have time for one more before I move to the next session.

[18:17] Question? No? Okay. Well, we're going to move to, oh, sorry.

[18:34] Thank you. In line with this topic, we're talking about the realities for parents and sexual dangers. What are some resources that parents can use to keep up to date or keep their finger on the pulse of things like she was mentioning just now about the dry queens doing this library readings?

[18:57] What are some things that parents can look at? Yeah. We are going to share those links and resources with you in a subsequent communication after the conference.

[19:08] It'll be quite a bit. And there's some really good ones that you can actually subscribe to that will give you a broad view of what's happening out there. And thank God, there are people who give their lives to this.

[19:21] Who give their lives to making the Christian community aware of what's happening out there from a parenting point of view, but also from a societal point of view as well. So, we'll definitely be sharing resources on that.

[19:34] All right. We're going to move into our next session. Yes, Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes