The Communication Lifeline

...that's spelled M-E-X-I-A. And so as they were driving down the road, two old boys,! One of them looked at it and he says, Hey, we're coming in here to Mexia pretty soon.

And the other fellow said, Oh no, this isn't Mexia, that's Mehea. In fact, the locals call it Meher. And he said, No, you can't spell it. M-E-X-I-A, Mexia.

So they had a pretty good discussion, so after a while, one of the fellows said, Okay, I'll tell you what, we'll stop up here at a little restaurant when we get in town and we'll ask the fellow to tell us where we are, okay?

He said, Fair enough. So they got in town, pulled up this little restaurant, and the fellow kind of cornered a guy that was there at the restaurant, and he said, Listen, my friend and I have been having a discussion about, you know, where we are.

Could you tell us very distinctly and slowly where we are? And he said, Dairy Queen. Oh, good folks, when we talk about communication, we're talking about something that all people have needed to learn how to do adequately since way in the beginning of time.

Listen to this. In Psalms, the 81st chapter, But my people did not listen to my voice.

Israel would have none of me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own counsels. Oh, that my people would listen to me.

How often have we said that even to our children, you know, if they'd just listen. Oh, that my people would listen to me.

That Israel would walk in my ways. I would soon subdue their enemies, turn my hand against their foes. Those who hate the Lord would cringe toward him, and their faith would last forever.

I would feed you with the finest of wheat, if you'd just listen. With honey from the rock, I would satisfy you.

How many times did Jesus say, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. Listen. There's so many things about listening other than just opening our ears.

So many things that make it so much more important. You see, dialogue is to love what blood is to the body. And when the flow of blood stops in your body, the body dies.

And when the flow of dialogue stops between a husband and wife, the relationship effectively dies. Back in 1 Kings 3, remember when Solomon was asking for wisdom?

When he said, Give thy servant an understanding heart. Do you know what one translation interprets that? It says, Give me a listening ear. It's an understanding heart and a listening ear.

Just go hand in hand. So important. What do wives want to hear, fellas? Wives want to hear what's going on in your mind. They're like when you come in from the day's work to just voluntarily, not for the wife have to ask you, Hey, what went on with the job today, honey?

Nothing. How'd everything go in today? Good. See, that's the way our conversations here. He's trying to get, you know, don't bug me. Now, it's not wives.

It's not that the husband doesn't want you to know what's going on, but he doesn't want to have to go through the agony of sharing it. If he could somehow pull a wire out of his head and just plug it into yours and let it run over there, he wouldn't mind it so much.

And another thing is characteristic. Characteristic of bad communication is we don't listen all the way through. Good communicators, good listeners, listen until the other person gets all the way through.

You know one of my problems? I begin to listen to somebody till I disagree with them or want to add something to it. And then I kind of begin thinking about what I'm going to say. Have you ever been there?

Good listeners don't do that. Good listeners will listen all the way through until the other person's finished. And he'll pause a little bit and then he'll respond. And he says, What I heard you say was, and you kind of paraphrase it.

And it really smooths things out. The problem with most of us is we don't listen all the way through. We want to start in the middle of their sentence responding.

And we haven't heard the whole message. And what that person was going to finish up saying would have clarified the question that you may have had. Good listeners listen all the way through. And this is especially true of children.

How many times do we cut off our kiddos? You know what happens when they cut off? We in effect say, I know what you're going to say and it's not worth all that much. That's exactly what the other person's saying. Yeah, I hear you. It's not worth that much.

We'll just cut it off. I'll give you an answer. Oh, would you like to live with some person that's always doing you that way? How would you like to work for a boss that does you that way? And what we're talking about in communications fits business and fits homes and fits families, fits everything.

I remember one time I used to preach in a congregation and as I was standing in the pulpit one day I gave my presentation, my sermon.

When I came home at noon Gladys said, do you know what you said at church today? I said, yeah, I think I do. She said, you said so and so. I said, no, no, no.

I didn't say that. She said, yeah, you said that. I said, no, no, no. I wouldn't say that. I don't even believe that. She said, I didn't think you did but that's what you said. So I turned to the chair and I said, children, mom says, I said so and so.

Did I say that today? And they said, that's what you said, Dad, you said that. I said, but I don't believe that. And they said, well, we didn't think you did but that's what you said. So I went back to church that night and I stood up in the pulpit and I said, it is rumored.

Did I say such and so this morning? But I said, I didn't say that, did I? That's what you call in lawyer terms leading the client.

I didn't say that, did I? And they said, yeah, that's what you said. I said, but I don't even believe that. And they said, we didn't think you did but that's what you said.

Now, what happened? Well, I didn't know what I'd said but they did. Good listeners listen all the way through when they hear it, they paraphrase back and say, is this what, this is what I heard you say.

Active listening is so important. That's what we've been talking about to this point. Good communicators listen actively all the way through. Second point and that is when we talk about active listeners, we're talking about the kind of listener that does something.

Not just listening but great listeners do something to show the kind of communications they want to have. In other words, communications is not just verbally, it's physically.

This gal walked into a counselor's office. She said, I want to know what I can do to hurt my husband. And the fellow said, what do you mean? He said, well, I've been living with him 12 years. He's an inconsiderate rascal and I want to know what I can do to really hurt him before I leave him.

And he kind of just took her up on it and said, well, I'll tell you what to do. He said, why don't you just try living with him and being everything he wants if you really want to hurt him. Just live with him in a perfect way. Everything he wants you supplied for 30 days.

He said, how's that going to help this? And she said, and then the counselor said, and the next day after 30 days, on the 31st day, just leave him without saying a word. She said, boy, that sounds good.

So you can just hear the little heels click as she's headed out of the counselor's office. He saw her about two months or so later. and said, well, how are things going?

Have you broken up with your husband? Have you filed her divorce or whatever? And she said, filed her divorce? I'm married to the greatest guy in the world. Now, how'd that happen? Because she did for him, even hypocritically, meaning she was doing it with an ulterior motive, but nevertheless, he didn't know it.

And so as a result of seeing what's happening from her, that action on her part that says, I love you and I'm interested and I'm communicating in a beautiful way, he responded. Well, when he kept responding to that and she kept trying to just respond to him and she's going to get him into 30, before 30 days came, they had a fantastic relationship.

Actions, speak louder of the words. It's easier to act yourself into a better way of feeling than it is to feel yourself into a better way of acting. Let me run that one by again. What we're saying is that, well, here's a baby, three o'clock in the morning, the baby just squalling.

And you say to the little baby, well, that one thing, little baby, I'm not, and that's a hypocrite. Not going to be hypocritical. I'm not going to get up and change your diaper unless I feel like it. That's ridiculous, isn't it?

What does a mother do? She gets up, changes the diaper, takes care of the little baby, and the little baby grins and coos and feels good, and then you put the little baby down. Now, how do you feel? You feel super because you're acting yourself into a better way of feeling.

What kind of actions do we want to give to our wives? Sensitive, beautiful little things that they like. Especially, I remember one time I used to have a counseling office over by the hospital.

And one day I was coming back and I passed right by a flower shop and I'm about a half a block slow in my thinking. So about a half a block down the street, I remembered I passed a flower shop. I ought to just get my wife a little flower or something.

So I put that thing in reverse and backed up. That takes superhuman effort for a man, you see. backed into that flower shop and went in and I said, I'd like to kind of have a flower or something for my wife.

And she said, oh, is this a birthday or anniversary? What is it? I said, oh, it's nothing. I just want her to know that I love her. She said, oh. That's just the way a woman thinks.

She knew what that was going to mean to my wife because that's the way women think. Oh, boy, she went back and she got the rose along with them and brought it in and put the little green on it and all the other things, put it in a little face and brought it in.

I said, oh, that's all right. She said, I sure do think. She said, oh, you'll have to have a card. I didn't know that I had to have a card. But she knew my wife. So I said, okay.

She said, oh, no, this is a pretty one. And I said, okay. And she said, and she kind of waited and I kind of waited and it dawned on me I had to write something on it.

And so I wrote, something on the top, put it in the envelope and took it home. Oh, boy, I took that thing home and where'd my wife put that? She put that flower right in the center of the picture window in our home and the card right under it where everybody could see it.

Now, you wives know why she'd do that, don't you? And she, it left it there until that rose bowed its head in prayer. Now, guys, that's what the gals are looking for.

But you know what too many guys do? They listen to what is practical and functional. So on their birthday, the wife gets a garbage disposal. Well, isn't that what you've been wanting?

You've been talking about a garbage disposal. Now, I got one for you. Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen, please remember that garbage disposal she needs for the family.

That washing machine and dryer, she needs it, but she needs it for the family. But for her, uniquely precious, her little, specific, loving, kind, thoughtful gift in a package you wrap.

What we're talking about is these, these are the kind of things that really say love to a woman. Now, another one that makes for great communication is transparency. I mean, I don't think anyone has a right to know me any better or more than my wife does.

And no one has a right to know her any more than I do. And we are into each other. There's nothing I've done of any consequence, good or bad, she doesn't know about and vice versa. When two people live as close to one another as husband and wife do, it is impossible to maintain mutual trust without transparent honesty.

It is my conviction that this is probably the greatest of all causes of marital failure, a lack of transparent honesty. Let me show you on a diagram of why I think it's psychologically sound.

Let me just show you what the general tendency is. When I do something good, what do I tend to do? I'm going to tell you about it. Oh, when I was over at the president's home the other afternoon, when I baked some cookies for the poor the other day, and when I keep telling other people about the good guy that I am, I kind of dissipate my bank account of good, don't I?

Now that's our general tendency. This is the model A, the way most of us operate, the human nature. When I do something bad, what do I normally do? Don't let anybody know, because if you knew how bad I was, you wouldn't like me.

If I do something else bad, what do I do? I put it in there. Something else bad, I don't want you to know it either, and I keep stacking up those things, because if you knew who I was, you wouldn't like me. Now let's look at the Lord's model, and I think it's a better model, and I think we can show why it is.

When I do something good, what does Jesus say? He says, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Now do something else good. He said, just kind of keep it between you and the other folks that have to know about it.

You do something else good, just keep it to yourself. Now if you do something bad, what do you do? Well, you confess your sins one to another.

Sins suggest specificity, incidentally. And so as you continue to confess, oh, if I told those folks? No, no, no. If you tell those folks, we get healing and forgiveness and we dissipate the bad account because you know, when folks confess to you some things they've done wrong, doesn't that just kind of pull you into their life?

Just kind of pulls you right into their life because they trust you and they want to share that thing and they want to get God's forgiveness for it and your forgiveness for it and it makes that man just a part of you.

It's a lovely sharing. Now, which of these two fellows has the best self-esteem? This guy or this guy? It's all the difference in the world.

Let's go to another good thing that'll help you in your communication between husband and wife and it's what we call the awareness wheel. So let me erase the board here just a minute and show you what we're talking about.

Miller, Nunman, and Wackley have come up with a concept that's kind of been known all along but they put it in a way that is easy to remember. And what they're saying basically is that man is divided up.

Each of us have five aspects. Our senses, our thoughts, part of us that feels, and another part that intends our intentions, and another part of us that acts or has actions.

Now, what this does, it helps us to understand myself for one thing. When I understand me, I can see that I have all five of these aspects. One of the problems with men, they have an absence of this feeling for the most part.

They have trouble with the feeling aspect of life so they go down the road rolling whompity, whompity, whomp because they're not very good feelers. One of the things that we like to do, and these are all came from some of the people that I've worked with.

We would say to the people, tell me what you're feeling right now and then describe that feeling. I feel blank, like, what? And then describe it. And if you can get husbands to develop this feeling, what you're trying to do is get husbands to develop this feeling aspect of their relationship because it tends to be a little negative in most of us men.

Now, here's some reactions I got. One fellow said, I feel, I feel put out. And I said, well, go ahead and describe it. I feel put out like a dog who wants in a warm house but doesn't get in because he's all covered with snow.

Now, feel good? Here's a guy that says, I feel put out, but he's really telling the wife, I feel put out of your life. I feel put out like a dog that's outside. He does such a good job of communicating and it really lets her into his wife.

Here's another one. It says, I feel guilty. Well, how do you feel guilty? See, we have all different kinds of guilt. Some it's major, some it's minor. This person says, I feel guilty like a sincere Christian who has murdered someone in his anger.

Now, that's guilty. It may be a little deal, but his guilt is great big and you'd never know it unless you ask him to describe the feeling. Here's another one. I feel slightly uneasy. Oh, all of us have slightly uneasy feelings.

How do you feel slightly uneasy? This fellow says, I feel slightly uneasy like someone about to be executed. Now, how could this guy say that?

Why, slightly uneasy? You'll never know how the other person feels even if he tells you, I feel slightly uneasy unless you get him to describe it.

And now, you've really got his feelings. Here's another one. Now, incidentally, I asked this one of some guys who were planning to preach and I was interested in whether they had developed this feeling and sensitivity very much.

Could they share part of them? Could they model openness and transparency? This person says, I feel love. I said, okay, describe it. He said, I feel love like Christ and his church. I feel love like that of the Lord for his people, not wishing that any should perish.

Is that a feeling or a statement? It's a statement. He said, it's not a feeling. So we'd say, hey, we need to help that guy see that he's not sharing with his wife on a feeling level. He's back up here thinking.

Let's get him down here feeling a little bit. That's what the wife would like also, this and this. Here's another one. He says, I feel thoroughly good and alive. I said, could you describe that for me?

He said, oh, yes. I feel thoroughly good and alive in the sense that all of the energies and the mechanics of my day-to-day existence have a unified, consistent purpose and an ultimate goal or direction, that being the person of Christ.

I do not wish to appear idealistic nor unrealistic due to the sheer presence of God in my life and the answer of his presence in my life is complete in all aspects. Is that a feeling?

It's a sermon. How would you like to have him for your preacher? Well, you see, what we're saying is, is that it's good, the statements are okay, but the statements are statements.

And we want to help these guys to realize, hey, you've got some feelings. You may have kept them quiet up at the office and maybe that's okay, but here at home, could you come out with your feelings a little bit and let me know how you feel? I remember one time there was a girl, she and her husband, just fixing to graduate from the university, and the boy was looking out for a job.

Boy, he's trying to find a job everywhere he can, and finally he gets a job, comes back home to his wife, and he says, I finally got one. She said, how do you feel about that? And he says, well, I feel relieved and apprehensive.

Relieved and apprehensive. Could you describe that for me? And so he thought a minute and he says, I feel, now that I found a job, I feel relieved and apprehensive like a little boy who just wet the bed.

Well, these relationships that exist between the husbands and wives are so cute. Let me pass on another one. That's another suggestion to help, and that is in reference to learn their interests.

If you want your husband to talk and he is an avid bingo player or an avid, maybe that wasn't chosen too well, he is an avid chess player.

You probably would get him to talk if you'd learn about chess. If he's an avid football player, that comes a little closer, doesn't it? You'd do well to know something about football.

He'll talk with you if you learn his interest. You know, husbands are crazy, and these wives have written in to tell me about it. Here's some crazy things that men do, and these are the ladies, one lady won't go to a woman doctor.

Another lady said, he won't wear pajamas. Another lady said, he burks. Another lady said, he gets a funny expression on his face when you go near his new toy.

Another lady said, when you're sick, it's just a cold. When he's sick, it's serious. another lady said, he leaves the lid up.

And another lady said, he sucks in his gut when a beautiful woman walks by. Ready for another hint that will help out communication.

That is, leave the keys in your car and sit right there, fellas, about five minutes before you go in the house. When you come in from work, sit right there. And if you'll think, what am I going to do now when I go in, when I speak to my children, when I speak to my wife, how am I going to go in?

With a good attitude, it'll change the course of what's going on today. If you just don't think, just run in with all the heat off the office right down your back as you go in the front door. Problems might come up. I remember one day, I walked in the front door, walked down the hole, spoke to the dog, two kiddos, turned the corner, and I looked over at Gladys at the bar and she had her hands up like this.

I said, what's wrong? She said, I don't know whether I want to speak to you or not. I said, well, why not? She said, well, you fussed at the dog and two kiddos before you turned the corner. I said, well, the dog was in the way and the kiddos hadn't picked up the clothes.

You remember what Carl talked about earlier when you come home? So guess what I had to do? I had to go back out and come in again. What's wrong with that? Just say, oops, sorry, messed up.

Walk right back out. Shut the door, come back in. Hello, dog, how you doing? And the kids love it.

Daddy had to go back outside. So it's some beautiful things if you just take advantage of the moment.

Well, there's a lot of other things. Let me tell you another special good one for building communications, and that is the relationship of double reading. What do you mean by double reading? Well, you take a book, and what you do is you open it up and read, and as you read it, you mark it, you say, boy, that's good, that's good, I like that.

Or you may say, that's not me, or you may say, that really is me. You never knock the other guy. You don't say, this is you, if it's ugly. Only underline what speaks to you, okay?

And in a different color, the husband comes along, and he reads the book, and he's underlining it in his color. Now, when you read the book, you've got what the author says, and you also have what? You also have what your spouse underlines.

And listen, did you know that if you just underline what was in a dictionary, if I just gave you a dictionary and said, underline the words you like, I could read that dictionary that you underline and tell you a whole lot about you. Now, the same thing's true with the book.

So you read what she marked, she reads what you marked, and you got some kind of insight. You got three books for the price of one. The book he wrote, the book she wrote, the book he wrote, in other words, the author and the fellow that's reading it, the husband.

It's swell. Well, Gladys was sitting in the living room reading a book. I had already read it and marked it. and when I was marking it, I figured I marked everything that was good in it.

But she said, I heard her say one afternoon, this is it. This is it. I said, now what do you mean? She says, this right here on page 51. And I went in to see what I may have marked.

Wasn't a mark on the page. You see, the difference is what a girl marks and a guy marks. And that's the beautiful thing about reading, double reading. I'm a fixer.

And if something can be done, electric or plumbing or bed or slats or whatever, I usually can do it. But there comes a time when I can't. And I say, well, we're going to have to get the plumber to do that or we're going to have to get the electrician to do that.

I can't do that. Well, now, when I say that and I can't do it, then my mind goes another direction. I'm ready to do something else. But now, women aren't made that way too well. It's not sufficient for a woman to see something that needs to be done or a problem that comes up that can't be resolved right then.

You don't just leave it alone. You've got to brood on it a little while. You've got to spend some time hurting on that thing a little while. And so what you do, you see, is you just sit down there on the end of the bed with her and you sit down and you put your arm up around her and you sit there again and you say, and when you have hurt with her and you hold her in love a little bit, then you can kind of ease up and you can go on about your business and everything will be all right.

Now, don't ask me why that is. I don't know. But that's the way it is. God just made women with so much brood time they've got to put in.

And you've just got to realize it and spend the time and you'll be richly rewarded. That's right.

Now, let me tell you another great thing that will help you in communication. That is, conversational prayer together. Oh, it's so strong, folks. If there was one thing I was going to say that I would say this afternoon that's just so special, and that is, if you and your wife can pray together aloud with God, husband and wife, building on each other's prayers, there are those times, you know, when I'll say, Lord, I want you to help us, and I'll remember various things of our life and our relations, and Gladys will say, yes, and Lord, please remember so-and-so.

And there's people that I hadn't thought about, people that I need to be praying for, and say, yes, Lord, do pray for this person, that person, this person, and this particular event that's coming up, and this person that lost a husband.

And so what happens, you see, in these relationships, you build on each other's prayers, and all of this is before God, and it's a conversation that is unexcelled. I just can't recommend it enough.

Another recommendation we'd make is in reference to meditation or quiet time. We have to spend time together, meditating, thinking, ourselves and our God.

That's the time when we prioritize the day, set things in order, back off far enough to know where we're going. Do you remember Jesus in Mark 1, early up? Out alone, while it was still dark.

His disciples didn't know where he was. They were still asleep. And what is he doing? He's out there, lining up the day, prioritizing the day, getting a right relationship with God. And folks, that has to be done individually.

And when you've got your life prioritized, you know who you are and where you're going. It's amazing how God gives that time you may have spent in meditation or quiet time or prayer.

It's amazing how God not only gives you that time to eat, and I say, hey, I'd like to go out and have some fish. What would you like? Why does that sound to you? She says, well, that's about a six. Well, I'm looking for about an eight or a nine or a ten.

And I say, well, what about Mexican food? She says, well, what's less than a zero? No. So there are all those times, you see, where you can get, when you use a scale of one to ten, it allows you to have intensity.

Yes or no doesn't. Would you like to go get some fish? No. Did you like to go get some Mexican food? No. Wow. Oh, that's quite a put down. You see what really is happening?

When we speak, every one of us, when we speak, it's kind of like putting a little baby out between us. A little, a new idea that I'm going to call a baby. And I just kind of put that new idea out here, and the other person says, no, I don't like that.

Good night. I say, well, what about this? He says, I don't like that either. Now, that's what happens with yes and no. And nobody likes that kind of relationship.

Also, this scale of one to ten gives you intensity. Ten says, I really feel strong. One says, I really feel strong. The other direction. Six says, I'm for you. Let's do it. The other person may be a ten.

If a person is a four and another person is eight, eight outweighs four. So we go to eight. Simple as that. It's not just yes and no. Also, it allows people to save face.

Girls, you've learned by now, haven't you, that if you don't let a man save face, you're in problems because a man's going to stay stubborn. If he can't save you, back a man into a corner, I can tell you what he's going to do. He's going to fight. He's going to say, no.

He's going to say, I told you. That just happens. And smart women know. And smart men know. You just don't back people into a corner.

You allow them to save face. Good communicators don't ever strap a person with a hard no, yes or no answer. In whichever way they answer it, they're going to get hurt.

Just don't do that. Now let me give you another illustration. I think it helps good communications at heavy points in your life to say, okay, gut level, where are you?

When we use the word gut level in the seminar and at home, what that means to us is, okay, no holds barred, tell it like it is. Tell me how you feel.

Gut level, where is it? I remember one time when we were coming out with a new manuals. And then as a result of that situation, we had a heavy debt that we could be faced with. And Carl says, okay, gut level, how do you feel?

And that means when you have big decisions to make in your family, you tell it like it is. No holds barred. That way the other person really knows. And you don't get down the line further after you've made a heavy commitment and the other person said, well, I didn't think that was a good idea anyway.

You ever been there? You thought the other person was along with you, so you made a decision. After you've made the decision, that person said, well, I didn't think that was such a good idea anyway. Well, why didn't you tell me?

Well, you didn't ask me or whatever. Now, these kind of things you need to go ahead and ask, share it out. Now, another thing I think that helps, and that is written dialogue, writing to one another.

Husbands don't like this at all usually, but once you've done it, you'll love it. You'll just love it once you've done it. But it's hard for those of us that are men to do very much writing.

I'll tell you one of the things that helps me, and that's when I'm upset. I have a big black book. It's a notebook, just a black notebook full of paper.

And when something goes wrong, I can come in and write that out, and I can be upset as I want to be, and I write it in my book, and not tell it to Gladys or to the kiddos.

I remember one day that I was out, I was playing tennis, and we'd gotten into the third or fourth set, I'd forgotten which, and the telephone rang over the clubhouse, and the fellow says, Faulkner's for you.

Well, I was a little impatient. Who would be interrupting such an urgent happening here? I went over to the phone, it was my wife, and she said, you know, and I said, I kind of, I spoke nicely, but I spoke straight.

Kind of hurt her feelings a little bit, hung up the phone, went back to the important things. When I got through playing tennis, I came home, went in, grabbed my big black book, started writing.

Do not interrupt the tennis quartet. We had a great thing going, and I just went down, why would this happen, and furthermore, and furthermore, and furthermore. But this time, it's been four or five minutes later, and I'm beginning to come to my senses, and all of a sudden, I realize that sports are not all that much.

Important things are back here, and reality, instead of feeling, reality begins to come into my mind, and I say, well, really, I'm two hours late.

I didn't realize I was that late. I didn't really treat you nice on the phone. I want to apologize for that. You one special gal. And just go on, and by the time I get to page three or four or five, I'm just down begging for understanding.

Now, when she reads my black book, she knows me. Whoever gets my black book has got me, you know. But it allows, and what if a husband walks in and just says, let me turn you, and just blows her off the wall, you know, when you walk into my house.

What does that make her feel like? What does that make you feel like later when you realize what you've done to someone like that? Now, that same thing happens with the children. Quick, impulsive decisions are best put in a book.

And you can look back to that, and you can mark it out, and you can do anything you want to. But once you've said it, it's tough. So if you have problems with blowing off, or temper, or whatever it is, I double-dog dare you to get you a black book and put it in there, or some kind of a book.

Gladys and I have been writing for a good while. And some very special things have happened over the years. I remember a situation in which she packed into one of my shirts on one of these trips out this little note.

It says, this shirt is ironed and inspected by number 100. 100% in love with you. I like that. A little later, she sent another note.

It says, my feelings are really not hurt. I 100% understand. And we'll make up for it when you return. Life is so easy to believe in, knowing there's a you.

And then this note. Dearest Paul, we have a precious relationship that I'm so thankful for. I really feel rotten when I react to you in an unkind way.

I love you so deeply and am looking forward to knowing you better. Loving you more and leaning on each other and supporting each other as never before. This will take more time than we're giving to it right now.

You're my whole life next to the Lord. I pray for you and for us and for the children almost constantly. I'll be praying for you this week that you'll feel good about us and the things you say in the seminar and for the people you may reach and change.

Pray for me this weekend that I can handle things at home the way the Lord would have it. Many women would give anything for a husband, lover, and friend like you.

I'm a queen married to you. Please forgive me for being so mean lately. Forever your love, Gladys. You see, folks, there's not a mean bone in her body.

And the sensitivity is, you know, what would I take for the letters? And the letters that we've written to each other of sharing.

And I just want to encourage you, gentlemen and ladies, to do more sharing of the sensitive things that really are, really are the important things in life.

It's so easy for us to let the urgent things during the day go by. They're gone. And they really were unimportant. And then one of these days we wake up and the important things that should have been taken care of are gone and can't be recalled.

So I'm hoping and praying that in the course of this seminar and as we've talked about the sensitivities of communication that you have been helped, I'd like for us to bow as we close.

Father, I thank you so much for the people that are in the sound of our voice this moment. And I want to thank you, Father, for the special way of communication that you have set forth for us.

We thank you, Father, that there's no deceit in your way of communication, that it's always genuine and honest and loving, that you really do care enough for us to confront us when we do wrong.

And we pray that you'd help us to live always in harmony with your principles, knowing that it really pays in life with each other, with our children.

May your blessings be with us always. We pray in Christ. Amen. This concludes the two-part presentation on communication.

With the seventh session, we move into an extremely sensitive area, sexuality and marriage. Dr. Carl Brackeen will be candidly presenting the final two sessions of the seminar, speaking frankly about sex and renewing romance in marriage.

Both are designed for mature teenagers and adults. We hope you can join us.