Suffering: Job Part 3

[0:00] Suffering doesn't feel light and momentary, does it, moms? Amen? Doesn't feel light and momentary. And what was that verse about lacking in Christ's afflictions?

[0:13] ! Anybody think that's weird? What's lacking? Like, Carl, there's nothing lacking in Christ's afflictions. He paid for it on the cross. You're like, I don't raise my hand in church, Carl. What are you talking about? I think that's kind of weird. Maybe you think that's kind of weird.

[0:23] Well, the guy who shared that with me was Kevin. He's like, Carl, I got it first. I'm like, that's kind of a weird verse. Don't quite understand it. And Kevin decided he was going to explain it to me and say, this is what it means, and this is what it means to you, Carl. I'm like, wow.

[0:34] He shared that with me about a year and a half ago and before a lot of suffering took place. So I blame Kevin for all of this. But he's a good brother.

[0:46] These cadets, folks, I'm going to tell you, they're the best. They're better than Naval Academy cadets. I'm a Navy guy, I can say that.

[0:57] They're better than West Point. They're better than the Air Force. These are special cadets. These are true disciples. These are our amazing people. I'm telling you. I'm not just saying that because I'm part of it. They're amazing.

[1:09] And I was blown away when I got to meet them. So they're the best. 1871. Long time ago now.

[1:21] 1871. Horatio Spafford. He was an elder in his church. Probably worked at EB. He was a lawyer, actually.

[1:32] And he had four children. Maybe they were even homeschooled. Four daughters. He had invested a lot of money in real estate in Chicago.

[1:46] He was also a friend with Dwight Moody, so he had that going for him. Good friend with Dwight Moody. He invested a lot of money in real estate. Well, in 1871, you might recall, studying your history, which I was not a history guy, there was a great Chicago fire.

[2:00] They built the houses really close. You know? And there were wood. And so it's like, whoa! Obliterated his fortune. Because he had invested so much into that.

[2:11] Two years later, he's going to go back to England for a respite and spend some time with his family and go hear Dwight Moody preach. But he sends his wife and four daughters on ahead in a ship crossing the ocean.

[2:27] And in 1873, they have an accident. And only the wife survives. And she sends back a telegram with, shipwreck, I alone survive.

[2:41] He has to come. Ah, it's a dad.

[2:54] It's hard. He has to come across the ocean. He gets to that spot in the ocean where that ship wrecked. And he writes, it is well with my soul. That's incredible.

[3:09] So what did he have? What was going on there? If you remember over a year ago, I spoke in Job. And I shared with you, about the 15th of March, 2023, there were two sermons, kind of back to back.

[3:25] It was during the spring break of the cadets. And I encourage you, maybe you want to go back and listen to those again. I'd had a bike accident. And I landed on my head.

[3:35] And I had really messed myself up. And I was in constant pain for like 24-7 for weeks. And the pain level was like seven. And all night long, all I could do was sit at the kitchen table, propping my head up, trying to relieve this pain in my neck from this constant pain, shooting down this nerve pain that was incredible.

[3:57] I couldn't recline at all. Couldn't even lay down. And I thought, God, is this my new norm? Is this what's going to happen? And this cadet grandma, she said, Oh, Carl, I'm praying for you.

[4:08] You know, I know what you're going through. And I'm like, really? She's like, yeah, I had this accident. And I still got to get up in the middle of the night every two hours. I just can't sleep. And I do yoga.

[4:19] And, you know, and I just, I thank God, I'm off of this strong medicine. And that was 25 years ago. And I'm like, no. God, I'm a baby. I can't suffer.

[4:29] If I suffer like that, I'm going to be useless. I'm the total baby. I'm just, there's no way. I'm not going to be helpful to you at all. And I thought, okay, God, you just want me to sit there and suffer and just praise you and just be an example of that.

[4:45] And cadets will go, Oh, there's Carl. Here's a quarter. You know, I thought, okay, I'll do that. I'll do that, God. As if I had a choice, you know.

[4:57] So I surrendered that. And that was, that was really rough. Well, about a year ago, there was an officer in the Coast Guard who abused his wife and kid.

[5:14] And my testimony was key to that. And, and he retaliated against me. And all you have to do is drop one word in the military and you immediately ignite an investigation and there's a whole bunch of cloud of is he guilty and what's going on.

[5:32] And so, I had received a threatening text saying, if you continue, we're going to bring up allegations involving cadets regarding sexually inappropriate behavior.

[5:43] Well, I immediately shared that with my boss. I shared that with the chaplains and I sent it to the Coast Guard Investigative Service investigator who I had been giving my testimony to earlier.

[5:56] And then, come October, the chaplain called me in his office and he says, Carl, you can't do any more ministry here on the academy. You're, you're done.

[6:07] Cadets can't come over to your house. You can't even call or text cadets. Your First Amendment rights are done. And you might be thinking, well, that's illegal, Carl. We have the First Amendment.

[6:18] We're Americans. It's our right. Well, they said, if you don't follow this, then we will simply remove OCF, Officers Christian Fellowship, from the campus.

[6:31] So, it was a threat that said, well, what do you want? You want to save you, Carl? You want to save the ministry? You know? You can always get yourself another Carl.

[6:44] Some people say, yeah, we should probably get another Carl. No, we don't want another Carl. One is enough. So, you don't have to laugh that much.

[6:58] Okay, so, we don't have a choice. Carl's got to step back. And, and he, and they wanted me to just say that I was just stepping back.

[7:09] They didn't want me to share what was going on. Just say you're stepping back. Where's Andrew Nichols? He out in the audience today? See that here? There's Andrew. Hiding. Gosh, you're hiding. Andrew, Andrew said, Carl, there's no planet that stepping back would ever work for us.

[7:25] Okay? Got to tell us the truth. And even my, my OCF boss, like, yeah, just tell your prayer partners. We don't really know what's going on, you know?

[7:35] I mean, it could be bad for the ministry, you know? We're just not really sure, so just tell your prayer partners. I got a lot of prayer partners. So I sat, sat down with a few of them, and then I got the cadets that night, and I got the ministry team, and there's like 25 cadets on the ministry team.

[7:52] You might think, that's a big ministry team. That's because we empower them, and they just do stuff. You know, there's one fourth class. She's sitting right there. She wasn't even on the ministry team. She's like, Carl, I want to do this.

[8:03] I'm going to host this retreat. You know, it's going to be secret church at Shepherd's Fold. You don't even have to be on the ministry team, and she's just going to do it. You know? So I said, this is the deal, folks.

[8:14] Here it is. And I just laid it out on the table. I told them everything because I just believe in walking in the light. You've got to put it on the table. Why do we hide our suffering? We talk about being vulnerable, and leaders talk about being vulnerable.

[8:28] The military loves to talk about being vulnerable. Then the admiral says, when I was 22, this is what I did wrong. That was 30 plus years ago. Tell me about the argument you had with your wife.

[8:40] That's being vulnerable. We tend to hide things. It didn't work out for King David, did it? So we don't need to hide things. We need to walk in the light.

[8:51] Just put it out there. Well, the ministry over this last year has been strong. You might think like, oh, how did the ministry handle that?

[9:02] You know, the cadets are strong. You'd almost think that nothing was going on. They handled it well. They knew what to do because they loved Jesus. And I've always told them, if your faith is so much on Carl that when Carl falls or something, and you go, oh, no, what are we going to do?

[9:21] Carl fell. Well, then you're stupid. Right? Sorry. Shouldn't say that, kids. We say, bless your heart. Right? So they know better than that. And they just continued on.

[9:34] And then the other ministry volunteers were strong. It was awesome. You know? But you might be thinking, well, Carl, you just confessed to like something and, you know, how do I know you're innocent?

[9:45] That's a good question because Megan Weiklingat came up to me and she goes, oh, Carl, I just know you're innocent. Anybody who knows you knows you're innocent. And I thought, well, you know, there are a lot of people that have been fooled in the past like Ravi Zacharias.

[10:00] Right? Look what happened there. A lot of people have been fooled in the past. And I said, how do you really know? She goes, I know. And you know, the Holy Spirit ought to tell us.

[10:13] In the Ravi Zacharias case, there were a lot of Holy Spirit moments. People said, you know, yeah, now that I think about, uh-huh, uh-huh, we have those. And praise God, after seven months, no one has said, yeah, I knew that.

[10:28] Now, they know I'm a little weird. You know, it doesn't take too long to figure that out. And I'm not innocent. I'm just not guilty of that. I'm a lot more guilty than what I'm being accused of.

[10:43] But I'm innocent of that. And so, God has really been using that. And when this all started, I've listened to John Piper.

[10:55] You know John Piper? Raise your hand. Have you heard of John Piper? Good pastor. He said, don't waste your cancer. Sounds kind of weird. And the first time I heard, Carolyn Groves, who's Major Groves' wife, he's 82 years old.

[11:11] She died about six years ago. The first time I heard her stand up in chapel and say, this cancer's a gift. I went, what? What are you talking about? Cancer's not a gift.

[11:22] It's evil. It's bad. I hate cancer. It's bad. She said, it's a gift. I went, huh. I said, I need to chew on that. Well, Piper says, don't waste your cancer. Let God use your suffering.

[11:34] What an incredible opportunity. Let God use your suffering. Well, if you're familiar with Genesis, at the very end of Genesis 50, verse 20, Joseph talking to his brothers.

[11:49] Now, you remember Joseph and his brothers. Joseph was that guy who wore the coat of many colors. He's a little bit boasting. And 10 of the brothers are like, ah, let's just kill him. Then they decide to throw him into a pit.

[11:59] Then they sold him into slavery. And then he goes, and he's at Potiphar's house, who's like the captain of the guard, the Pharaoh.

[12:11] And then the wife, of course, says, ah, he tried to do this. And they throw him in jail. You know, and then in jail, he ends up being the faithful prisoner. He's faithful all the way along.

[12:22] And then he gets forgotten about in jail. And it's a good 25 years probably from the time he's 17 that he gets this vision that God's going to use him and his brothers are bowing before him to the time he finally becomes second to Pharaoh.

[12:39] And his brothers now are thinking, dad just died. Jacob, Israel just died. And like, oh boy, he was just being nice while dad was alive.

[12:52] He's going to get us now. Right? He's going to get us. So they come to him like, ah, please don't get us. You know, here, have some tofu. You know? And he says to them, brothers, what you meant for evil God meant for?

[13:11] Good. Now I ask people, what's the good? And they all say, the next part of that verse, oh, it's for the saving of many lives, Carl. The seven years of famine, he saved those many lives.

[13:24] And I say, no, that's not right. And according to Andrew, who say, you can never please Carl, he's always got his perfect answer and you can never talk to him, so just listen to him, you know? So this is one of those times.

[13:35] No. Actually, the Hebrew word there, after that comma, is so that. It's two different thoughts. You got the good and then you got the saving of many lives.

[13:46] Well, the good is all of that heart change that God had to do in Joseph's heart during that couple decade time. Because at age 17, was he ready to be second to Pharaoh?

[13:58] All right. Graduates. Maybe parents. Parents, you got your kids, they're about ready to graduate. They're going to be ensigns. Are they ready to be the commandant on the Coast Guard tomorrow? Say yes. Yeah.

[14:11] Yeah. Some of them are still being told to brush their teeth in the morning, you know? Uh-huh. Yeah, I know. I see your kids all the time on the weekends, you know, and I'm just thinking, huh.

[14:24] Okay. So, he's not ready. God's got to do heart work. Heart work. That's the good. That's the good.

[14:37] Not the saving many lives. God could have just avoided that famine anyway. You're thinking, oh, yeah, I needed him to do that. That's how we think. God could have just avoided that.

[14:48] But, like, no. God is really interested in your heart and what he's going to do in your heart. What he does. Not what you do. It's love the Lord your God with all your heart. Soul, mind, body, and strength.

[14:59] And then the second is love your neighbor as yourself. Heart work, me, in the heart, then you can go do seven years of famine and whatever, you know.

[15:13] Solve world hunger. Jesus already did solve world hunger with, like, a basket of fish and bread. You know that? It's not a big deal, really. Well, when this all started, I said, okay, God, I know that.

[15:28] I'm excited. Kevin Hall has now told me about this verse, which we'll come back to. And here's a list of six things that I need to be like Christ because I am not like Christ in these six areas.

[15:39] If you come at me with an attitude, you attack me, and if I'm fatigued, you know, I'm going to be defensive because I have an abused past.

[15:52] I have a bunch of baggage, you know, like a cart that's dragging behind me, you know, it's there. A bunch of past. And so if you do that, you catch me when I'm fatigued, I am going to be defensive.

[16:06] You know, I'll try to be patient, but I might even snap at you. I'm like, oh, yeah? Okay, buddy. And you know what? Being fatigued is no excuse, is it?

[16:18] Being sick, you might think it is. You know, I'm going to give grace in that case, but that's no excuse. Just because, just because I'm in the middle of labor pains, ladies, and your husband kind of does something that's a bit annoying, that's really no reason for me to be not like Christ.

[16:38] Because even in that, I can be like Christ. So, I had those six things.

[16:49] This is what I like to work on, God. I started reading some books. I read Suffering by Tripp. I'm a big fan of Paul Tripp. You got to read Paul Tripp. Read all of his books. They're great. Paul Tripp.

[17:00] You guys have no excuse for not reading books today because you got books on audio. Now, if you're a guy, you don't like reading books. Okay? There's a couple ladies who don't like reading books and the guys do.

[17:11] That's different, you know, and so that's okay. But if you're a guy, you don't like reading books. Ladies, once a week, get some couch time and read to your husband.

[17:24] You know? Now your husband is going to get that stuff you've been wanting him to read. That's just good stuff right there, all right? You can pay me later. Guys, you go on your traveling trips, you're driving, pop in those audio books.

[17:37] Chew on it. Listen to it over and over and over and over and over. You're going to get from the Holy Spirit. You know? You've got to press in. You've got to ask help from the Holy Spirit.

[17:48] So I read Suffering by Paul Tripp and I read Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. He wrote it somewhere around 1900. I read Practicing His Presence. I told you about that. And you know, Practicing His Presence is kind of weird.

[18:00] It's kind of weird and it's kind of... It was written by a monk, you know, in the 1500s. And he's just talking about Jesus and being with Jesus and he's focusing on Jesus. Well, all he does is wash dishes.

[18:10] He's not a mom who's homeschooling with four children. Carl, how am I supposed to practice His Presence? How am I supposed to get that? Yeah, I know. How does that work?

[18:23] Well, hold that thought. When we experience suffering, you know, when that happened, there were people who were ready to fight, you know, they want to retaliate.

[18:34] They want to fight. The lawyer's like, well, Carl, we can do something about this, you know. And Maddie Garagas, you know, I think, you know, she's like special forces in the Coast Guard. She's ready to go to the guns, you know, go to the mattresses.

[18:46] She wants to fight. She's like, Carl, fight. You know, Peter with the sword. That's who Maddie is. She's tough. So we can retaliate or we can run. Don't think I didn't feel like, I'm just going to Florida, honey.

[18:58] I'm going to Florida. I'm going to one condo on the beach. I'm just done. You know what? I don't even like Connecticut anyway. It's too cold. I love Florida. I just want to run. Like, just leave.

[19:10] And I got to tell you, I also didn't tell you, like, I should tell you, I didn't want to start crying. I've already started crying this morning, but it is painful. Not being able to do ministry for seven months has been painful.

[19:25] On the weekends, I leave so the cadets can come over and leaving, knowing they're going to be there, hurts. Now, it hurts for a couple reasons.

[19:36] Number one, make no mistake. They are family. They are family.

[19:49] Jesus said, those who do the will of my father are my brothers and sisters, mother, father. Well, these are my kids. Your kids are my kids. Okay?

[20:00] I love them that much. They come over on the weekends. They have refrigerator privileges. They're in my stuff. They're my kids. All right? I love them. Make no mistake.

[20:11] I love them. Christy and I love them. They're close. So, not being able to see your kids, how would you like to do that?

[20:23] Not being able to talk or text them. Even Paul got to talk and text Timothy, but not being able to do that, how does that grab you? Just wait until you're a dad. You're going to know. You're going to know that pain.

[20:34] Well, that's bad enough, right? That's not really what gets me. What gets me is knowing that JJ is struggling and I can't help him.

[20:48] That gets me. That's always gotten me. That's what drives me. Age 18 to 22, people, that's where you stay with your faith.

[20:58] You walk away. Look at the statistics. And you shoreline people, your kids are going to get there and you're going to enter in a whole new season of prayer. Oh God, oh God, you know, help them stay with their faith.

[21:13] Oh, it's a whole new level right there. Amen? Some of you got, some of you have gone through that. You know it. That's why we do it because I know how important it is.

[21:25] I got six kids. I know. You know, you don't want to lose them except there was one day I came down the steps. You know what God? I got five more. I could lose one. Can I pick the one I could lose? You know, that's terrible, right?

[21:36] I know. That's terrible. I got no problem saying that in front of him. He knows exactly which one it is. He's so much like me, the poor guy. Okay, so I can run, I can retaliate, or I can repress that.

[21:52] I can like, oh no, I'm not going to deal with it. And there's another category. I'm not really sure where it fits, but it's where I control the narrative. You know? You just, I could gather around.

[22:02] I could snap my fingers and a legion of cadets could come beside me. Okay? And they would support me because they got that hero thing going on. You know, but they also know not to put their faith on Carl.

[22:13] They'll say things like, don't listen to everything Carl says, which is good. But I can control the narrative. It's like that, it's like that uncle, you know, it's 20 years later and he's still talking about how he was cheated and laid off, you know, from this one job.

[22:27] You know, that's not good. I don't want to do that. I miss out on what God wants to do. I don't want to just control that narrative. It's so unfair. I can't believe the injustice.

[22:38] Oh, poor Carl. That's not the point. Well, 2 Corinthians 4, 7 through 10. You might want to take a look at that. 2 Corinthians 4, 7 through 10. It says, we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the all-surpassing power is from God, not from ourselves.

[23:01] We have this treasure in jars of clay. I mean, how strong is this jar of clay? How strong is this? I mean, this thing, this is my wife's, by the way, you know, this thing is not very strong.

[23:17] I mean, it's kind of brittle. It's not very strong. We have this treasure in jars of clay. We're the jar of clay. Sometimes we think, oh, I'm such a great jar of clay.

[23:29] I'm so strong. My jar can be dropped from three feet, one inch. Yours is only three feet, Carl. You know, and some of you are pretty talented. We have the top graduates here. We have the number one in the audience.

[23:40] We have the number four and the number five graduate. They are sharp. Okay? We also have in the audience a very strong guy who's a bodybuilder, Colby Loveless. Colby, raise your hand. Colby.

[23:52] It's over there. Colby is so amazing. He doesn't even need a towel when he comes out of the shower. He just flexes in the water, evaporates. I've been waiting seven months to say that.

[24:03] Seven months. So, we have this treasure in jars of clay to show this all-surpassing power is from God, not from ourselves. We are hard-pressed on every side, persecuted, but not abandoned, perplexed, but not in despair, struck down, but not destroyed.

[24:25] For we always carry around in our body the death of Christ so that the life of Christ may be revealed. So, in verse six, it says that that power of Christ is light.

[24:39] I got this clay pot. I put a light in. This little light of mine, I'm gonna make it shine. Hide it under a bushel.

[24:51] No. Well, I hide that light, right? I can't see because I was gonna bring my flashlight but I didn't think of the show.

[25:02] I can't see the light because you got this clay pot covering it. Well, guess what is inside of you? Guess who is inside of you? Who, Giselle, is inside of you?

[25:15] Christ. Christ. How many of you know that Christ is inside of you? Raise your hand. Oh, come on, raise your hand. You know that Christ is inside of you? How many of you epigenosis know?

[25:28] Epigenosis, that experiential know in your heart Christ is in you. Like, you know, yeah, you've experienced Christ in your heart. Raise your hand. Okay. Well, you're about to know a lot more as you go on.

[25:45] Sue Moynihan knows. Now, that's a dear saint. She's walked. She knows. Christ is in you. So, what do you want? Do you want to rely upon your clay pot or do you want real power of Christ?

[26:00] Do you want to see Christ come out or do you want to rely upon your clay pot? I like to rely upon my clay pot.

[26:15] After all, I am an able lady here. Come on. I like to rely upon my clay pot, but if I rely upon my clay pot then I miss out on Christ in me.

[26:35] Luke, what do you think? How high can I toss this? What do you think? Sure? That was my wife.

[26:48] That's your fault. All right. So, because I didn't want to glue that one back together, Luke would make fun of me.

[27:03] Whoa. I got this clay pot and now there's some missing pieces and there's cracks. can the light be seen now?

[27:17] Can Christ's light come out? And the more cracks I have, you know, the more missing pieces, the more Christ comes out.

[27:33] But guess what? That means you're going to suffer. raise your hand if you say, sign me up for that, Carl. You're going to suffer.

[27:47] Is it worth it to suffer and have Christ, experience Christ? Is it worth it? That's the question. Well, during this suffering time, God showed me that verse and he also showed me Matthew 11, 28, 20 through 30.

[28:03] Come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened and I'll give you rest. I'm like, oh, yes. Yes, couch, ice cream, Netflix. Yes, Jesus, this is what I need.

[28:15] That's what I need. The next verse is take my yoke. Whoa! Let me talk about rest. You know, I want to talk about, you know, heavy, laden, burdened. What do you mean?

[28:26] Take my yoke. Take my yoke upon you. Wow. What? And learn from me. What do you mean learn from you? For I am gentle and humble and you will find rest for your souls.

[28:42] What? You're humble and gentle? What does that mean? I find rest for my soul. Take this yoke. I don't know about the yoke thing. I like the couch, you know, and the ice cream.

[28:53] It says, for my yoke, Carl, is easy and my burden is light. Really? My yoke, your yoke is easy, burden light? Learn from me. What do you mean learn from me?

[29:05] Well, you guys have been going through math or John 14 to 17 and that's where God took me and then you guys studied it. Imagine that. Well, John 14, one through three, do not let your hearts be troubled.

[29:22] Do not let your heart be troubled. For in my father's house are many rooms and I go to prepare a place for you. For we're not so what I will tell you but I will come back for you. See, that is what is unseen.

[29:36] Let us fix our eyes what is unseen. That's what is unseen. I need to do that daily. Colossians 3, 1 and 2. Set your heart and your mind on what is unseen.

[29:51] That's what I need. I need to set my heart and my mind on what is unseen. That's my heavenly home. John 15, 18, Jesus says, well, if they hate you, know that they hated me first.

[30:07] Like, that's not helpful. One of my sons was struggling and he went through kind of a failure time and my other son who'd gone through failure decided like, oh, bro, I know what, it's a son like me who said this, like, oh, bro, I know what you're going through.

[30:19] I failed too. My son said, Carl, he says, Dad, that's not helpful. And I went, yeah, I'm sorry, it takes after me, you know. But someone shared that with me and he said, let's know, Carl, that, you know, God must love you because if the world hates you, they hated him first.

[30:38] And I thought, that's not helpful. And I said, I need to go back and read that. And then I had to read it in context. And we just went to, Mike and I just went to this how to preach, look at God's word and how to preach and says, you got to look at literary context.

[30:51] Passages before and passages after. So I did that. John 14 through 17. And here's what I found. Wow. What's your fault, Luke? Here's what I found.

[31:04] In John 16, 33, he says, you know, in me you will have peace and in this world you will have trouble. Not, like the great Brittany Gardner says, not may, not possibly, but will have trouble.

[31:23] Some of you ladies remember Brittany from the ladies retreat. Brittany's in the back. Wave your hand, Brittany. This is a moment. Okay. Yep. Yeah, she just does like, Carl, don't embarrass me again. Okay.

[31:34] You will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the Coast Guard. But, how is that helpful?

[31:47] They're going to hate you. They hated me first. How is that helpful? Well, I need to learn from him. Learn how. Well, how did he do it? How did Christ overcome the world?

[31:58] How was he able to suffer and respond like God when he was a man? He gives us the answer in John 17.

[32:13] In John 17, the first five verses, he focuses on his father, his father's glory, all the glory that he had with the father before he came down.

[32:24] What is unseen? He's focusing on that. That glory. And then, something amazing, John 17, verse 22, he says, and I'm giving you, Jack, that very same glory.

[32:43] What? And Christ is living in you. If that doesn't blow your mind, then you really don't understand the gospel.

[32:56] And you really won't understand the gospel. Because our minds ought to be totally blown. we have his glory. Christ is in us.

[33:06] Do I want to rely upon my clay pot? Or do I want to really experience Christ? Now, we say that, but we're Americans. So, we like our couches, our latte, and our scones.

[33:21] We want to read about suffering, but when it comes time to really doing it, do we buy into that? Well, we have a son.

[33:33] Where's my wife hiding? There she is. She doesn't like me calling her out either. She and Brittany are the same. We have a son who's Rwandan, Jackson, Krama. He lives in Rwanda.

[33:44] He's in the Rwandan Air Force. He graduated 2016 from the Coast Guard Academy as an exchange cadet. And he's over there now, and currently he's actually fighting rebels down in the south. He's an Air Force engineer, and they have him out there like a Marine leading a fire team.

[34:00] It's kind of intense. But in December he got married, so he knew he wed and he's away from his beautiful wife. He got married. I went over there and it was really nice.

[34:14] But I was wrestling with all of this and the time zone was kind of difficult for me to sleep and then I was really trying to pray through these things like abide in Christ that Andrew Murray wrote.

[34:27] And I was praying through this Matthew 11, 28 through 30, take my yoke. And one night I just said, okay God, we're staying up all night. We are going to do this.

[34:38] I am struggling and I want to just pray through this all night. And I just tossed and turned. And he wanted me to take this yoke and I'm thinking, no!

[34:49] And I am crying. I am crying hard. I do not want to take on this yoke. I do not just want to accept what has happened. I am wrestling and like, no, no!

[35:04] And I'm crying and finally he says, Carl, my yoke is easy. My burden's light. I'm gentle and humble. Like, learn from me.

[35:16] Focus on what you've been given. And I said, okay! Just like that. I put it on. I went, oh.

[35:28] Oh, wow. Wow. That feels pretty good. Wow, I do have peace. I have real peace. The kind of peace that you can say, I don't need to defend myself.

[35:43] I'm much worse than what my enemies say. And that's all been handled. That kind of peace. And I was, next day, I felt great.

[35:58] And that next week, I felt great. And I thought, oh, praise God, this is going to be good. This is going to have a happy ending even, you know? And I get home and I get, even in JFK Airport, the chaplain, he texts me, he's like, oh, Carl, this is going to be good.

[36:12] I know you're going to come out squeaky clean. This is all going to be over soon, you know? And he had some inside scoop. Because really, the truth of the matter is, it just came down to my enemy now knew what cadets to go to who had some issues with Carl.

[36:32] They felt uncomfortable with Carl because Carl talked in groups settings with officers there about sex and pornography. Yeah, it's going to make you feel uncomfortable.

[36:43] uncomfortable. The gospel's going to make you feel uncomfortable. On the day of my wedding, the pastor talked about my wife and somebody who was like a second mom who didn't know Christ was in the audience and she was offended because my pastor said she was a virgin.

[37:02] So we're going to feel uncomfortable. And today, that's going to happen. Can I avoid suffering? You think you can avoid suffering? The military, we're all about trying to lessons learn and try to avoid things.

[37:14] And that's good because we go to war. We don't want innocent people to die. But if you figured out a way to manage away suffering, like, okay, I know we're not in the Garden of Eden but I got a plan.

[37:26] This is how we're going to do this. We're going to outsmart God on this and we're not going to suffer. That's not going to happen. So I thought, okay, this is good.

[37:37] Chaplain gave me this encouraging news. It's going to be over. Right? Well, like a week later, I talked to a Christian. Had a phone call with a Christian and that phone call did not go very well.

[37:54] And I was not happy with that Christian for the things they said. And I said, God, looks like I got another list of six things we need to work on and I'm not feeling very Christ-like toward this fellow believer.

[38:06] As a matter of fact, I had some good thoughts to do with the baseball bat down along his legs. Got to be careful.

[38:16] We got kids in the audience that can go, Dad, do you hear what Carl said? Yep. Because I'm a military war fighter and that's where my mind goes to right away. I'm not like you coasties who save people and you do nice things.

[38:29] You know, I just, my tendency is, yep, we're going to go to the mattresses. Amen, Maddie? We're going to go to the mattresses. So, God's got these other things to work on and I wrestled through.

[38:42] He's like, now you really need to love this guy like Christ. You really need to love him. And you know, man is not trustworthy.

[38:54] But just because in your situation, man isn't trustworthy, doesn't mean you can't 100% trust God. You're not trustworthy. The Coast Guard is making some bad decisions.

[39:08] They're not trustworthy, but God is always trustworthy. And you're going to see that in leadership. You're going to see people make bad decisions because most of the time we operate as managers.

[39:24] Very seldom do you see good leadership. I've been in four wars, a couple of conflicts, I've been around the world. Very seldom do I see good leadership because it's easy to default to managers.

[39:39] Just follow rules. We are all recovering Pharisees. We have a tendency to do that. It's very easy. Moms, we have a tendency to focus on behavior of our children instead of really what's the heart.

[39:53] Recovering Pharisees is very easy. So I thought, well, God, isn't this just kind of like you do work in my heart and then I go on?

[40:08] You're going to heal me and then I go on. You do this work kind of like I get my qual, get my qualification in the military and then I go on. I do my mission. I become an OOD, officer of the deck, and I go drive a ship.

[40:19] I get my wings, I sign up for the airplane, I do my mission. I get a qualification, PQS complete, I do my stuff. That's my mindset as a Christian. Like, okay, let's get this going, God, and I check in the block and now I'm going to go off in love and never have any issue again.

[40:33] Well, there I was struggling with wanting to just bless that fellow Christian with my hands. And that's when he had me read Abide in Christ a second time because the first time I couldn't understand it.

[40:47] So I'm reading Abide in Christ a second time I read it. And if you were here when we studied John 15, Dave Moynihan gave a definition of abide, of abiding Christ.

[41:04] And I looked at that and the Holy Spirit gave me a different one. But it's very similar. And here's my definition that I think is also worth your time to write down and think about.

[41:17] humbly accept. Humbly accept. And humility is like the root of gospel character.

[41:28] It's the beginning of maturity. If you want to be mature you've got to get humble. Humbly accept my utter dependence on Christ in me.

[41:39] humbly accept. Humbly accept my utter dependence of Christ in me. And here's the key.

[41:50] In the moment. Just in this moment. Not in the next moment. Don't worry about the last moment but just in this moment.

[42:03] Mom don't worry about tomorrow but in this moment can I humbly accept my utter dependence on Christ in me in this moment. Can I abide in this moment and be peaceful and then do it again the next moment.

[42:21] Well I'm getting a lot of practice in this because I have my moments. I'll be going along and then all of a sudden like I'll have some deep despair and grief and anguish and just hurt for cadets.

[42:35] Just like moms. You're going along fine and it's like nah you just you just broke my pot. Right? But you're thinking okay Carl that sounds pretty good for a monk who's got to wash dishes but I've got to focus on the kids and you want me to abide in Christ?

[42:56] I can't be thinking about Jesus. I'm like full on. Or maybe you're a military person like I'm just Carl I am in the goo I got clouds all around me I am like overwhelmed with task saturation I'm flying this airplane and you want me to focus on Jesus right now?

[43:16] No you can't be focusing on Jesus in that moment. You're the officer of the deck it's late you're just trying to stay awake drinking coffee got radar contacts all around you you're stressed out how are you going to focus on Jesus in that moment?

[43:29] well here's what you do you take care of the task and then when that moment comes along when you're tempted to just like ah in that moment you say wait a minute I have all the glory that Jesus had I have Christ in me that is the unseen and that is real in that moment now if you haven't done that before the first time to do that is not when you're officer of the deck and you're up there and you're like okay I'm gonna try this right now that won't work okay you've gotta do some of that beforehand in the Navy in aviation we call it chair flying you gotta do that in prayer with God by yourself and you've gotta wrestle through those things you gotta have your night in Rwanda where you're just wrestling and you're just and then you finally get it and then you can go yes

[44:30] I'm gonna come back to that in the moment it's not just a call that you can check off you see because we love finding strength in our clay pot well I got that look at my clay pot I got nice blue paint on it got some stripes we think that we are self-sufficient but that's not what God's after he wants us to come back to him again and again again in the moment we never get away from that instructor driving next to us we gotta have that instructor constantly driving next to us and you're like I thought I got my license I'm good to go now God says I want my Holy Spirit right there when you need me I want you to be in the moment and that's hard that's what I've been struggling with but it is so real folks well we're supposed to talk about Job Carl how you gonna fit that in we got lunch to go to we talk about well Job is like a long book

[45:37] I mean you read that and you're just like oh my goodness you wanna put yourself to sleep at night you know read Job the first two chapters is a setup right Satan's doing his thing comes to God and God says what do you think about my buddy Job you're thinking God's kind of behind that he's kind of behind that suffering what do you think about my buddy Job and then the second time he's like so what do you think about my buddy Job and then the ante goes up right he not only loses all of his crops loses all of his livestock his camels you know his donkeys you know and then he loses his kids now some people really freak out like yep that's where I'm really ticked off at God Carl that's right draw the line why did he lose his kids well okay guess what those kids they go to heaven they're up there in heaven they skip finals you think they're up there going oh I wish I could take those finals you guys go oh I wish you could take that final you love it when you get out of finals they get to do that not my school okay my school we didn't get to skip finals they do they get to skip finals you know like oh yeah I validated my final

[46:37] I was so good like Maya I don't think she even took any finals this year you know zero they don't care they're up in heaven rejoicing you know who's suffering Job Job's suffering not those kids he's suffering they're in heaven they're rejoicing he's going to see them again so the first two chapters are set up then you go into 29 chapters of Job and his friends you guys try to read that it's crazy you're just like well some of that sounds kind of good you know that sounds like yeah maybe you should do that and then it's like some of that doesn't sound kind of good you know right there in the middle Job 16 1 through 5 he's like I've heard many things like this his three friends you know get done he's like I've heard many things like this miserable comforters are you all you could quote you know it's like he came up with the phrase friends like you who needs enemies you know listen to what he's saying will your long-winded speeches never end what ails you that you keep on arguing

[47:40] I also could speak like you if you were in my place I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you but my mouth would encourage you comfort from my lips would bring you relief 29 chapters of that you gotta ask why did God do that why 29 chapters you know we could be brief right well number one there's a lesson don't be like Job's friends don't do that there's a tendency to do that I just did that to my daughter the other night you know she's like dad got this going on I got my two year old I already have this baby I kind of gave her a little preachy stuff she even said don't preach that's the joys of parenting adult kids but don't be like Job's friends second God used Job's friends to incite

[48:43] Job because at the beginning it says and Job was blameless in everything he did Job was blameless but then after his friends come along you know you get that phone call from that Christian you're like God is using that to incite me with a baseball bat you know to bring out what's in Job's heart to bring out what's in Carl's heart that's what he's doing and then at the end of Job speaking his friends it says right before Elihu speaks and Job was righteous in his own eyes blameless you're like but didn't he say he was blameless didn't God say he was blameless and then it says Job was righteous in his eyes which is it Carl I'm so confused are you blameless yes you are but no you're not and are you righteous in your own eyes yeah so we get this attitude and then

[49:53] Elihu speaks and you're thinking three friends get rebuked in the end you got this Elihu but then God doesn't talk about the Elihu what's going on with Elihu so I had to call up a former cadet who graduated two years ago the great Devin McClure I'm like Devin I need some help you gotta help me understand this and Devin that guy thinks like C.S.

[50:09] Lewis speaks like Spurgeon he's awesome these cadets are awesome and he helped me with that and he shared Elihu says you know Job I'm not going to say what the friend said that it's a quid pro quo you must have disobeyed you must have sinned in order to get that suffering what I am going to say though is how you're suffering how you're suffering is not righteous before the Lord how you're suffering Carl I mean Job how you're suffering is you want to use a baseball bat I mean you're a little frustrated with your friends how you're suffering is not right and then he talks about the Lord well then God shows up and God says look at me look where you are and look at me compare yourself to me he doesn't tell him the why because we all want to know why am I suffering but instead he says look at me I want you to look at me

[51:15] I and there were six wing seraphim flying around two they covered their eyes two they covered their feet and the other two they were flying around and they were calling out to one another holy holy holy is the Lord God almighty and the whole earth is filled with his glory and at the sound of their voice the doorpost shook and the threshold shook and it was filled!

[52:13] with smoke and woe is me for I am undone and I am a man of unclean lips and I walk among the people of unclean lips now this is the most eloquent prophet in the old testament saying I'm a man of unclean lips it's like Tom Brady saying I suck as a quarterback only then so and he sees God and he's humbled!

[52:45] if I'm going to be humbled I've got to appreciate this delta that he's covered because in James 4 10 says humble yourself before the Lord and he will lift you up and we win and we get Christ by recognizing it's not about me and I can be broken and who cares I'd much rather experience Christ than my pot but I don't like to be broken so humility compares to God pride also compares horizontal to the world pride compares pride compares me to the world how dare they treat me like that that's wrong that's unjust that's comparing this is the way you should treat me that's comparing and justice lawyers you know what do you see represents law and justice they got the scales right got the scales well you put one pound weight on this side and you get one pound of flour in the marketplace well people would cheat and they would they would make that a lighter one pound only be 15 ounces you know and then it wouldn't be right the scales wouldn't match up it's comparing pride compares it's not right you shouldn't treat me that way that's just pride you see when I look to

[54:10] God and I say whoa now all of a sudden what the coast guard has done to me the superintendent making that decision to kick Carl off the campus get rid of him it's like this that's mildly interesting this has got my attention oh wow that's amazing and all I gotta do is look at that when my wife is arguing with me and I just can't say anything right it's a game changer it's just end of discussion right there pride compares humility compares also that's what I need so Colossians 124 what is that about I fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ for the sake of the body his church Christ's body is the church do we still need to suffer is

[55:15] Christ in you and do you need to suffer so Christ afflictions still lacking we need to suffer because Hebrews 5.8 says though he was a son he learned to trust and obey through what he suffered and once made perfect he became a source of our salvation so if Christ had to suffer to be made perfect then Christ in me still needs to suffer for my sanctification that's what that's about so if you're a non Christian you're thinking yeah sign me up for this Christian thing or maybe you're thinking about being a Christian or maybe you're just a young Christian you're thinking Carl you're really doing a good job selling me on this Christ stuff well what do you want you want to try for your own peace in this world because I'm going to fast forward to the end you ain't going to find it you'll never be rich enough you'll never be tough enough you'll never be strong enough you'll never be smart enough you won't have real peace and you can't avoid suffering you can't manage that out

[56:26] I tried this is probably the second greatest suffering I've gone through tithe maybe the first was when I watched my children suffer struggling for life and struggling with their faith that got me and I couldn't do anything about it nothing so I don't need to defend myself because the truth of the matter is I am!

[56:54] way worse than what my enemies say and I can say that more and more every day with more and more truth there are days I don't feel that because I need to abide in the moment just in this moment I'm just tired of relying upon my clay pot I want to experience him thank you God for this time thank you for your love thank you for all the cadets that are here I thank you for this incredible congregation thank you for their parents I ask God that we get suffering as from you and being able to experience you God that we just become true disciples and really follow you help us do that just in this moment amen to you to to to to you to to