Women's Retreat: "Forgiveness" Session 4

[0:00] So what's been wonderful about, one thing that's been wonderful about this weekend is that as I've worked through this subject with you, and be very aware that I'm not an authority on this issue, but as we have spoken and as we've had discussion groups, I'm learning and thinking, oh yeah, I was really picking that apart, and all of a sudden, oh yeah.

[0:32] We are journeying together in our understanding of God's word. And I'm also aware that I've spent a considerable amount of time wrestling with this subject myself, and then I'm trying to kind of bring that together and throw it on top of you.

[0:49] So there's a lot, but thank you so much for helping me to learn more this weekend. Your wisdom, your patience, your faithfulness to your Savior.

[1:02] We just keep learning and growing. So thank you for that. And as I went to bed last night, I think what stirred me was this sense of this subject.

[1:17] So this title, this session is titled The Power of Forgiveness. Because the gift of forgiveness in Christ Jesus is so powerful that actually we will come up against warfare.

[1:32] Because the enemy does not want you and I to walk in the freedom that comes with the gift of forgiveness God has given us. And that's part of the wrestling. But the power of forgiveness.

[1:47] Wow. God is good. It's an incredible gift. And one of the reasons why forgiveness is so powerful is when Christ forgave us, his whole death, the shedding of his blood and the resurrection meant that we could be reconciled to Christ.

[2:07] And that is a powerful thing. I mean, we've been singing about it. We talk about it. It's the words that we know. And I want to spend more time before we go on again thinking about that, the nature of that gift.

[2:22] You see, because in Christ, forgiveness is a gift that keeps on giving. It's like not only are we reconciled to Christ, like we are in a restored relationship with him eternally.

[2:35] It's not a time-limited thing. There's not a buzzer that's about to go off. Like this is for eternity. We were always intended to be in a relationship with Christ.

[2:49] But we struggle sometimes to understand how is it possible that I can be forgiven? How can anyone be forgiven? Especially those I think are a lot worse than me.

[3:02] So just for a few minutes, I want to think about the courtroom scene. God the Father sits as judge. God the Father sits as judge. I'm in the dark.

[3:13] And Jesus Christ is my advocate. I have been found guilty and sentenced to death. Because such is the level of my crime against a holy and a perfect God.

[3:29] And there is nothing, nothing that I could ever think of or imagine that I could offer to him to earn my forgiveness. It's not going to happen.

[3:41] So if you are struggling this morning in any way to think that you have got to earn something from God, drop it.

[3:51] Because you are not good enough. Because you are not good enough. I am not good enough. But God knew that. He knew that. So we stand in the courtroom.

[4:06] And death is the only punishment. And then there is my advocate. He steps in. Hang on a minute, judge. Judge, I will take the punishment for this woman sitting in the dark.

[4:26] I'm going to take the punishment. So I'm going to serve the crime. The sentence for the crime. Crime that I didn't commit. But I'm going to do that. I'm the advocate. I'm advocating for this woman.

[4:39] For me. So he takes the punishment. And he's executed. Now, if that's all we said about the cross, that's not even good enough.

[4:54] You know why? Because my advocate may have served the punishment. And we said, will you just go on out of the courthouse now? Go on. But I've gone out.

[5:04] Oh, phew. Jesus took my punishment. I'm going to crack on with my life. I'm still guilty. I still committed the crime. But that's not what happened.

[5:15] There's more to that juicy story. So Jesus says, I am going to serve your punishment. But I'm going to atone for your sin. So two things happened in that courtroom.

[5:30] My sin was taken away. And then he clothed me in his righteousness. There was an exchange. He didn't just die for me.

[5:41] He exchanged. He took away my sin. He took something from me and then gave me something that I didn't deserve. And that's the righteousness of Jesus Christ.

[5:51] So when I said, when the judge hits the gavel and says, off you go. And I walk out of the courtroom. I'm not just going, phew. I don't have to do time in prison or sit on, you know, what's it?

[6:02] Death row. I walk out of that courtroom like I never even committed the sin in the first place. Not only did my advocate, Jesus Christ, serve my punishment.

[6:13] He took my sin off of me. Gives me his robe of righteousness. And says, be free. Enjoy my forgiveness. Walk in that.

[6:24] Walk in that. That is so precious. And we can't get tired of hearing that. Because if that isn't our starting point. Like, as if life isn't hard enough, right?

[6:37] But if that is our starting point. If that's what anchors us. Then that has to be the lens with which we look out into the world. It is an incredible gift.

[6:53] And above my desk, I've got a couple of little stickies. Sticky notes. And one of them is this. Mercy and grace. Mercy is not getting what I do deserve.

[7:06] I deserve punishment. I deserve death. Hell. Grace is getting what I don't deserve. Forgiveness.

[7:18] And a relationship. With my God. And I'm not telling you this to suck eggs. You guys know this stuff. But let's be reminded of the power of forgiveness.

[7:31] That should inform how we treat each other. And how we treat our enemies. Because that's how God treated me.

[7:42] While I was a still sinner. While I was still a sinner. Christ died for me. I need to think about this every day. So when I came to Christ. I acknowledged my sin.

[7:53] I repented of my sin. And I asked for forgiveness. I got to walk away. With a cloak of righteousness. And on that note. I just want to read you a little glimpse.

[8:09] In Zechariah. Of all books. In the Old Testament. I'm not going to go into an exegesis here. I just want you to look at the image. Zechariah chapter 3.

[8:23] The little title above the chapter says. A vision of Joshua the high priest. So Zechariah is writing. Then he showed me Joshua the high priest.

[8:34] Standing before the angel of the Lord. The Lord. The Lord. Yahweh. And Satan was standing. Right at his right hand.

[8:46] Accusing him. And the Lord said to Satan. The Lord rebuke you. O Satan. The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem. Rebuke you. Is not this the brand plucked from the fire?

[8:59] Now Joshua was standing before the angel. Clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him. Remove the filthy garments from him.

[9:12] And to him he said. Behold. I have taken your iniquity away from you. And I will clothe you with pure vestments. And I said. Let them put a clean turban on his head.

[9:24] So they put a clean turban on his head. And clothed him with garments. And the angel of the Lord was standing by. And the angel of the Lord. We walk out of the courthouse.

[9:38] With the robes of Christ's righteousness. Imputed righteousness. That's the forgiveness that we have.

[9:49] If we have come to Christ. So Satan can stand there. All day long. Pointing fingers. Look at Lorna.

[9:59] That she's such an impatient kid. Now she's lippy. Did you know she got kicked out of high school. For pounding that girl in the head. When she took Joyce Nozelski on top of the car.

[10:14] And drove her head into the windscreen. She deserved it. Nope. You see. He can say that all day long. I'm free. You go tell that to my advocate.

[10:26] Go on Satan. Yakety yak yak. I am free. Thank you Jesus. So. I just think the courtroom scene.

[10:37] It's just shocking. Because you know. That setting. That courtroom doesn't change. For anyone. That courtroom setting is the same for me.

[10:48] As it is for the terrorist. The deceiving adulterer. The fraudulent business person. The white murderer.

[11:01] You see. The work of Christ is so complete. And so perfect. That it fits you. Me. And the terrorist. And whoever else you want to pick out.

[11:12] God's work is complete. I'm a fan of Oswald Chambers. I have been for years. And in one of his.

[11:23] It's his devotional book. My utmost for his highest. And in one of his entries. He says this. If the spirit of God. Has given you a vision. Of what you are. Apart from the grace of God. You know there is no criminal.

[11:36] Who is half so bad. In actuality. As you know yourself. To be in possibility. And I just say. Thank heaven. Thank heaven for Jesus.

[11:51] So forgiveness isn't cheap. That gift is not cheap. And it's incredibly powerful. God's gift. Of forgiveness. So this battle.

[12:04] The enemy. And what I'm about to say. Is come out of the discussion. Some discussions that happened yesterday. Which were so good. You've heard the phrase.

[12:18] I just need to learn to forgive myself. I need just to be able. To forgive myself. Can I just ask.

[12:28] What do we mean by that? What do we mean. When we say. I need to forgive myself. I just need to forgive myself. Do we? I think that that phrase.

[12:41] Is a polite way to say. I'm having trouble shaking the guilt. That I feel for my behavior. Is forgiving yourself.

[12:52] Going to get rid of the guilt. Or will Jesus. Does your offender. Need to learn to forgive themselves.

[13:04] Do you need to learn to forgive yourself. When you've offended someone. Or do we turn to Jesus. And we ask him. For help. To deal with the repercussions.

[13:16] Of our sin. And I ask Jesus. Will you help me. Walk freely. In the forgiveness. That you have given me.

[13:28] So when we use the term. I need to learn to forgive myself. Let's just peel back. The plaster of that image. And say. What are we saying? I shared in my group.

[13:40] That not so long ago. I behaved. Just appallingly. To somebody. That I didn't even know. I mean. It took me by surprise. It was ugly.

[13:52] And you know. For two weeks. I just turned. Over and over and over. Because I didn't have the opportunity. To say I'm sorry. Because I didn't know who they were.

[14:05] And I was vile. For two weeks. I struggled with this thing. It's called guilt.

[14:16] Not that I need to learn. To forgive myself. Jesus had forgiven me. I went to the cross. And I said. Lord Jesus. I am so sorry. But I couldn't ask for forgiveness.

[14:32] And I wasn't going to try. To forgive myself. Because the Lord had forgiven me. And I wasn't going to insult him. And this came up in our group. Thank you. Irene Hamming. For the wonderful words.

[14:43] That your sister spoke. Let's not insult Jesus. By going back to him. After he's forgiven us.

[14:53] Let's say for that situation. Oh God forgive me. And every day come back. Oh forgive me for. No. Thank you Jesus. For forgiving me. For that awful.

[15:04] Awful. Ugly behavior. So instead of being. To be wrapped in guilt. I spent the next two weeks. Every single day. Praying for that person.

[15:15] That the Lord would bless them. That the Lord would heal them. From my words. That the Lord would reveal himself. To them. If they didn't know him. And that they would have peace.

[15:28] Let's think. Let's think. About what we say. And what we. Speak about forgiveness.

[15:40] My guilt. And your guilt. And your guilt. Has been atoned for. In Christ Jesus. And if you're struggling. To forgive yourself. It means you are struggling.

[15:50] With the guilt. That comes from the ramifications. Of our behavior. And we're aware of that. That. But as I was speaking about this last night.

[16:04] And working this out. With someone else. Just this picture. You know. Satan. Sees me walking in freedom.

[16:15] Sees you walking in freedom. So what does he do? He casts his ugly tentacle. Around your ankle. And he's going to hold on. He's going to say. Don't walk freely. And he's going to say. Do you know how you behaved?

[16:26] Do you know those words you uttered? Do you know how horrible you are? And he's pulling. And you're trying to walk in freedom. And there's a wrestling match. And when we say. I need to learn to forgive myself. You know what he's doing?

[16:37] He's taunting us. To say. Fix it yourself. And I can't. I don't have the strength to do that. I can't turn around with my machete.

[16:49] And whack off that tentacle. Because God is big. God is powerful. God is perfect. God is holy. God is just. He has given us this gift. So he says.

[16:59] If you are battling with that guilt. Of your behavior. The consequences of your behavior. Come to me. All you who are heavy. Who are weary. And heavy laden. And I will give you rest.

[17:10] Take my yoke upon you. For my load is easy. My burden is light. That is the God we serve. That's who we serve.

[17:21] God is free. That's who we serve. So in those moments. Let's learn to say. Get behind me Satan. I stand in the righteousness of Jesus Christ.

[17:33] And I am free. And you know what? If I'm struggling with guilt. I'm not giving you the pleasure. I'm going to my savior. My advocate. I'm going to say. Oh okay Lord. Help me. Let's walk through this together.

[17:44] Please. Will you sustain me? Show me where my heart needs work. You see. Self-reflection is painful.

[17:55] Because who wants to have to look in the mirror. And see the ugliness. Self-forgiveness. I can't do it. I can't do it. But self-forgiveness is hopeless. It's impossible.

[18:07] And it's going to lead you into a cycle of guilt. Self-reflection will lead to fruit. Self-forgiveness will lead to guilt. There's a difference between the two.

[18:20] Get rid of all bitterness. Rage. Anger. Brawling. Slander. Along with every form of malice.

[18:31] Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgiving each other. Just as in Christ God forgave you. Have you ever read The Hiding Place? Oh I love that book.

[18:44] I go back to that book sometimes for perspective. The Bible helps too. Just saying. But The Hiding Place is such an encouragement. And in it Corrie Ten Boom.

[18:57] As most of you probably know the story. But she is with hiding Jews in the Second World War. And she was in Ravensbrook. With her sister. Betsy.

[19:08] Who died. And she is so raw and real in the telling of her story. She doesn't hide anything. As if she walked through this. Like you know.

[19:19] Boy did she struggle. And Betsy was an encouragement to her. And all of this. And after the war. In 1947. She is in Munich. Speaking about forgiveness. To a group like this. And then after the meeting is over.

[19:34] There is a man who starts walking up to her. And I am going to just read. What it says. She sees him and she goes. I remembered him. And the leather crop swinging from his belt.

[19:46] It was the first time since my release. That I had come face to face with one of my captors. And my blood seemed to freeze. He comes up to her and says.

[19:57] You mentioned Ravensbrook in your talk. I was a guard there. No. He didn't remember me. Says Corey. But since that time. He said.

[20:09] I've become a Christian. And I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there. But I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein.

[20:21] He sticks out his hand. Will you forgive me? So here's Corey Tenboom being real. I stood there. I whose sins had every day to be forgiven.

[20:32] And could not. Betsy had died in that place. Could he erase her slow terrible death. Simply for the asking. She said.

[20:43] It could not have been many seconds that I stood there. Hand held out. But to me it seemed hours. As I wrestled with the most difficult thing I ever had to do. Still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart.

[20:56] But forgiveness is not an emotion. I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will. And the will can function regardless. Of the temperature of my heart. She wrote.

[21:08] Jesus help me. I can lift my hand. But you can do that much. I can do that much. But you supply the feeling. And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me.

[21:22] And as I did an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder. Raced down my arm. Sprang to our joined hands. And this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being.

[21:33] Bringing tears to my eyes. I forgive you brother. I cried. With all my heart. For a long moment we grasped each other's hands. The former guard. And the former prisoner.

[21:45] I have never known God's love so intensely as I did then. Because of this. Because of this. I just want to reassure you.

[22:01] That in heaven. God does not drop. The ball. You see. That's the power of forgiveness. And here we see the desired fruit of forgiveness.

[22:16] Which is reconciliation. Because that's in God's perfect economy. That is his perfected model. It's reconciliation. And my concern remains that a lack of understanding and misapplication of forgiveness is going to leave you and I carrying a burden that we cannot bear.

[22:35] Even when it comes to reconciliation. And so as I continue to prepare for this retreat. I'm reading all these books. And I just get my papers in a twist. And then.

[22:45] Or panties in a wad. Is that how you say it? Because I'm reading these stories. And there's one another popular Christian writer.

[22:56] She writes about this missionary prisoner of war. Who was held captive. Must have been horrible. Like I can't. I'm not even going to pretend that I understand how horrible that is. But this POW began to pray that God would forgive their torturers.

[23:09] The Christian writer congratulates this. And says forgiveness requires that we go above and beyond just releasing our offender. We need to love them. And I'm reading this book going.

[23:20] Oh that sounds very Christian. But forgiveness isn't that cheap. So what would I say? Yes it is upside down kingdom.

[23:32] Yes it is counter cultural. But where it starts is. And what this missionary did wonderfully. Is they loved their enemy while they were in captivity. They loved their enemy.

[23:43] I would have tweaked the words to say. And I am praying. That the Lord God of heaven would reveal himself to them. That they would know his forgiveness first and foremost.

[23:55] That they would come to repentance. And seek forgiveness from the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. And then if the conviction comes upon them through the power of the Holy Spirit. They would come to me and say.

[24:05] Gee sorry for holding a gun to your head. But they might not ever do that. But that's. Do you see what I'm saying? Forgiveness is important. And I'm not saying we don't forgive.

[24:16] Of course we forgive. But it was the other way around. Loving our enemy always comes first. All day. Every day.

[24:26] 24-7. Love your enemy. And then be ready to forgive. When they ask. As Corrie Ten Boom was.

[24:38] She didn't want to do it. But she knew what was required of her. From her King. Who had forgiven her. And she did. Matthew 5.44.

[24:52] Say it again. Love your enemies. And pray for those who persecute you. You see. When I forgive someone. Their offences against me. After they've acknowledged their wrongdoing.

[25:03] Their repentance. Repented. My role. Is to pardon them. To release them. To not count their guilt. Against them. To not hold their offence.

[25:14] Against them. Not to manipulate them. And to taunt them. To remind them. Over and over again. Do you remember what you did? No.

[25:26] That's not forgiveness. Christ doesn't do that to us. And when we forgive our enemy. They are released.

[25:37] They are free. We will not bring back. Their wrong help against them. That doesn't mean it's an easy road. So let's look at the desired fruit of forgiveness.

[25:50] Reconciliation. Reconciliation is the goal of forgiveness. But reconciliation cannot happen without repentance. Unforgiveness. I'm just going back over these verses that we've used.

[26:05] We've looked at already this weekend. Matthew 5, 23. So when you're offering your gift at the altar. And then remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift and go. Be reconciled to your brother.

[26:16] You see. You see. As Christians. We should feel unsettled with disunity. There should be a natural tension.

[26:26] It doesn't sit right. Especially if it's within our power to do something about it. And in this verse that I've just read. We see the searching out of a person.

[26:36] That we have wronged. And seek reconciliation. But it's not going to happen without the acknowledgement of my wrongdoing. My repentance. Again Matthew 18, 15 to 18.

[26:49] If your brother sins against you. Go and tell him his fault. Between you and him alone. And if he listens to you. You have gained a brother. If he does not listen. Take one or two others with you. That every charge may be established by two or three witnesses.

[27:03] If he refuses to listen. Go to the church. If he refuses even to listen to the church. Well basically you get to call him a Gentile and a tax collector. And that's a big insult. See look there's lots to be.

[27:16] That's in this passage. And we're not here to exegete that passage. We can't go into it. But the thrust of it. Concerns relationships within the Messianic community. And it's about addressing these issues.

[27:29] Of unforgiveness between people. And in this context. It's not to even go and cast judgment on our enemy. It's to go. And trust that there's going to be a conviction of sin.

[27:42] To win them over. Not scoring points. The conviction of sin. Brings someone to the point of acknowledging wrongdoing. Which leads to repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation.

[27:56] But that repentance first and foremost. Is in Christ. It is so important. Against you. You only have I said. And it's done. What is evil in your sight.

[28:06] See reconciliation is the goal of forgiveness. And this is what happens in the perfect context. Of the forgiveness that we receive in Christ. It's what we should attempt tomorrow.

[28:18] But I just want to acknowledge this morning. That for a number of reasons. Reconciliation. In our human relationships. Is not always possible. And there's a number of reasons.

[28:32] Another story. One of my dearest friends. Karen Engel. Was paralyzed from the chest down. After being hit by a drunk driver in Hawaii. In February 1987. She was walking to the beach.

[28:43] With her husband. Her mom. And her four month old son. They were all hit. But Karen took the brunt of it. And she shouldn't have survived. Everyone did.

[28:54] By the way. And the drunk driver died in jail. While awaiting trial. In all of my years. Of friendship with Karen. We've only spoke about.

[29:05] The drunk driver once. It was brief. And I don't even remember. The detail. But it was something along the lines of. That's in the Lord's hands.

[29:19] Because Karen. Focused. On Jesus Christ. She focused on Ephesians chapter 4. And she.

[29:31] Stood against allowing. Hiddenness. Resentment. Malice. Slander. To come to her. And I have to say. She's one of the most. Remarkable human beings.

[29:42] I have ever met. She's one of the most. In a wheelchair. She has. Honored. Christ. In a way. That I don't even know. Is possible.

[29:53] It is. Extraordinary. Her focus. Has always been. Jesus. So.

[30:05] She doesn't. Brawl. Anymore. But she gets rid of. Bitterness. Rage. And anger. She was the one. That I was sitting in Starbucks. And she turned to me. And she said.

[30:15] What did she do? It was her. We were sitting in the car. In Starbucks. Because I couldn't be bothered. To get her out of the wheelchair. Going. Sitting inside. She's an adventurous.

[30:26] Woman. A woman of faith. I even took her snorkeling. In Jamaica. I can't believe I did that. Dragged her across the beach. Out of her wheelchair. Threw her on an air mattress. And we went out to the reef. I had flipped that mattress.

[30:38] Anyway. I just. Anyway. She's very trusting. You see. There's always a consequence.

[30:48] For sin. That scar tissue. And it's going to be different. For each of us. Because in this room. The offenses that we have experienced. Are varied. But can I remind you.

[31:00] That the Lord cares about. Each and every offense. That you have experienced. In your life. He knows. Our offender may even get to the point.

[31:13] Of asking our forgiveness. But it may be. That that's where it ends. For different reasons. But I'm going to trust the Lord with that. And I want you to. Because quite frankly.

[31:26] Maybe our offender. Needs to go to jail. There's not going to be reconciliation. We long for reconciliation. And maybe even where it's possible.

[31:39] Someone might not want to reconcile with us. And that may hurt. And that may hurt. So we go back to our great high priest. And we sit in the care of the great high priest.

[31:53] There is something that we are in control of. And that's our attitude. About forgiveness. We are always to walk.

[32:04] In a spirit of forgiveness. Always. And this takes work. And we need the help of our Heavenly Father to do it. We must remain in a state of readiness to forgive.

[32:19] Even if like Corrie Ten Boom. We do it because we know we have to. We must remain there. And if we choose not to give forgiveness when it is asked of us.

[32:37] Can I say that that is to say that you are making a choice to embrace bitterness, anger, resentment, and pride? And also to not forgive someone when they come to you?

[32:51] Demonstrates little or no understanding of my sin before the Holy God. Who went to the trouble. Of dying on the cross for me. Taking my punishment and dressing me in a robe of righteousness.

[33:07] You see as hard as it may be to fathom. As Christians we are unable to pronounce something unforgivable. We can't do that. And there have been some shocking atrocities committed over time.

[33:19] Or even to us here in this room. But to declare something unforgivable is also to declare that Christ's work on the cross. Is insufficient to forgive the sinner.

[33:32] It is to say that Christ's blood is able to cover some sin. But not others. And who is going to decide that? You? Me? With what wisdom?

[33:42] No matter how hard it is to fathom the extent of God's forgiveness. No matter how painful it is for us. Don't ever forget that you and I sit in the care of the great high priest.

[33:54] So let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence. So that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

[34:07] And then look around the room. These are your sisters in the Lord. We belong to the parish of St. John's. And there are some amazing people there.

[34:20] Amen. Do you know what's been such a blessing in my 15 months here? And I've said this to lots of people. I'm going to keep saying it. I have never encountered so many faithful, prayerful, Jesus-loving, Jesus-seeking people in one place.

[34:40] I've been to a lot of churches. God's at work in St. John's. And you have sisters and brothers who want to come around you and support you in your time of need.

[34:56] So I just want to look, lastly, at a couple of points with this image. Do we have the image of the model of God's forgiveness? Okay. So this is what I've been talking about all weekend.

[35:07] It's in a pretty picture. There. The box outside here. That's attitudinal forgiveness. Okay.

[35:18] So if acknowledgement of wrongdoing never happens, if our offender never acknowledges their wrongdoing, we are still functioning in an attitude of forgiveness. If there is never repentance before the Lord, we are still functioning in an attitude of forgiveness.

[35:34] If there is no forgiveness requested from us ever, we are still functioning in an attitude of forgiveness. If reconciliation never happens, it doesn't change the state and condition of our heart and what the Lord requires.

[35:48] All of this is wrapped up in an attitude of forgiveness. Because we know the gift. We've experienced the gift. This is the view, our worldview.

[35:59] This is how we look out. This is the way of Christ always. And he's going to help us journey on it.

[36:11] So dear friends, if any of these components of forgiveness, if it doesn't happen, just walk the way of Christ always in a state of readiness to forgive a heart that's going to love your enemy.

[36:35] Because he's got us covered. Jesus doesn't ask us to do something contrary to his own practice. His model is perfect.

[36:45] When I model it, meh. And Ephesians 4. And again, we're just going to end with our theme verse.

[36:59] Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave.

[37:15] Before I say, oh no. This is, I haven't said everything on forgiveness.

[37:27] There's lots to say. Please feel free to email me. If you have questions, let's keep the conversation going. Pray for each other. Support one another.

[37:38] Do you want to say something, Lynn? I'm going to let Lynn say something. Can I ask one question? Okay. Thank you so much for everything here. I appreciate it.

[37:49] Can I clarify one point for a room full of women? Yep. Is that, so what if there's a situation, that one of us is in a situation where we're in a relationship with a partner and there has been emotional or physical abuse and they've asked us for forgiveness, but we're just not sure it's safe to go back.

[38:10] Can you just clarify that a little bit? Thank you. And I, yes. Forgiveness doesn't mean putting yourself in a place of abuse, manipulation, physical, control, being crushed.

[38:28] Forgiveness is not this blanket phrase which says, it's okay, and then we go back, and then you may be assaulted or whatever happens.

[38:39] That's not, that's not forgiveness. And don't think that, because I know there is some teaching out there, it's been spoken, where a woman has been, and I'm thinking of a specific example that happened in the States, where she was a victim of domestic violence, and the church, instead of calling account to the abusive husband, basically pressured her to stay, because that's what a Christian wife would do.

[39:10] Now, a Christian wife, run, and the Lord will run with you. Let's be sensible and pray for wisdom, but forgiveness isn't a blanket covering to say, treat me like a doormat.

[39:26] That's not what it is. So we do need to practice wisdom. We need to seek help if we need that. And we have the family of God, and we have others.

[39:36] There are resources, and that's so important. Forgiveness doesn't mean it's okay to be a punch bag, or whatever that situation is. Does that answer your question, Lynn?

[39:48] Yeah. If forgiveness doesn't bend in trust, it doesn't bend in trust. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't restore trust.

[39:59] It's not a magic formula. Trust has to be earned. Yes. And improvement. Forgiveness is given that it doesn't earn trust. Exactly. That's shown by time and character and change. That's right. It's not an easy journey.

[40:11] I know, Irene, you wanted to make a comment. We'll end there. But go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Ok.

[40:24] Ok. Yeah.