A Father's Day Charge

[0:00] microphone on and you can thankfully hear me still that's good that's good please turn in your bibles to first king passage that call read to you today well as you may or may not know it is father's day today every day is father's day apparently um now we know how you really feel um usually i do not feel beholden to speak on these hallmark holidays because we all know that father's day is every day but um i thought on this day uh we would let's be honest i think the survey is out that being a parent is tough yes or no parents are tough yeah i know that being a mother is tough because i had a mom i had a mom as a single mom who watched over me and my sister and parented us on our own i know firsthand that being a father is somewhat tough although my experience is still somewhat limited in that role but i'm guessing and before i say this my wife warned me about this i would state that fatherhood is the toughest out of all the roles because so many men don't want to do it right the fact of the matter is my father bailed on that responsibility responsibility and his father before him bailed on that responsibility if there is something i know about being a man and i think every man would admit to such a frustration is hating not knowing what to do if there's anything that has come through and as you know we do a a program on developing biblical manhood we start with this idea of every man is a warrior i would say 90 of the men who've gone through that would state that they had no father involved in their life or they did have a dad but a father who did not impart any spiritual wisdom into their lives the fact of the matter is men want to fix things right we want to fix things and when we don't know how to fix things it bothers us it frustrates us and i don't know why men don't want to step up to be fathers often i think it's because they do not know what to do and they fear appearing weak they fear being incapable they fear being seen as stupid um no man ever wants to be seen as humble thus he displays pride thus rarely does man ever seek to ask for help so i believe that many fathers bail on their responsibilities because they simply do not know what to do we're never taught have no idea how to do it how to suppose it and the easiest thing to do is negate their role so this morning i want to propose six pieces of advice for you men that doesn't really sound like a manly title does it how about six characteristics of godly fatherhood i don't think that works very well either

[4:06] how's this one six rules of biblical manhood six rules of biblical manhood that's the title for today's sermon this morning i want to go over the six rules of biblical manhood so that you men will be without excuse that no one has taught to you what the bible specifically talks on this issue men i believe that if you give yourself over to these rules you will find yourself with a reputable road map to becoming a man after god's own heart ladies these are the rules that i pray that you will encourage and support in your husband to follow grandmothers i pray that you will use these rules or these rules will help you encourage and pray for for your sons-in-laws and your sons as they step out into fatherhood single ladies i pray that this will help you identify the men that are worth being pursued by and young men i pray that you want to be discipled by these men who follow these rules so let's turn our attention to first kings two starting in verse one which carl read for us this morning and the context of this passage is king david is dying he's going about the way of all the earth and before he goes he wants to pass on his wisdom to his son solomon who is succeeding him on the throne now if i were to ask you to identify who you believe the most manliest man in all of scripture chances are the majority of you would choose david if you're unfamiliar with his stories you've heard assuredly of david and goliath the old testament tells us that when he was a faithful son who protected his father's flocks he would chase off bears and lions who seek to devour the flock he was a man who was known for doing what was right and just for all his people there was songs that are listed in scriptural that sing of his exploits both as a soldier and a leader scripture also tells us that he was a fine appearance and that he was a handsome man and to show you that he wasn't one-dimensional he also had great musical and poetic talents he was a man of character and he had a heart and even in amidst horrific sin david displayed repentance humility and a deep faith so i believe if we're to look at any man in scripture who's about to dispense wisdom wisdom on who a man or what a man should be i think this is the guy i think this is the guy this is the guy i want to listen in to that conversation and the writer of kings gives us the opportunity to listen in to what he shares with his son so i'm going to give you six rules this morning for biblical manhood the first rule of biblical manhood is to be strong and show yourself a man let's just look at verse two he simply says solomon be strong and show yourself a man keep charge of the lord your god

[8:09] now when he says be strong he's not saying hey solomon you're only tipping this scale at 120 we got to bulk you up we got to get you in the gym you need to become a forceful man that is not what he's talking about here to be strong means to be courageous to be courageous to be firm to be stout of heart to be determined to be resolute it means to and it's the call for all men to be strong in the lord is to be firm in your convictions that is what a man is supposed to be men are strong children are weak that's why scripture says do not be like a child who is tossed to and fro by the waves of the seas teens are weak they're easily influenced by their peers and what appears and happens in social media the fact of the matter is men are to be that rock upon which the waves of this of this world crash upon and dissolve when the culture comes against it's the men who are supposed to be the ones to stand firm in that culture the fact the matter is we now live in a world that hates people of conviction but this is exactly what david is calling his son solomon to be it is what god calls all men to be so your call as a man the first decision you need to make is to be strong the call of god's word is to be committed to be trustworthy to be a man of your word to be determined i love that word to be resolute to show yourself a man and walk like a man and the first thing that you can do about being a man is it can happen right here right now you know what i'm talking about it starts off thinking i do want to be a man i want to be a man who has purpose i want to lead i want to be responsible i want to be resolute because here's the thing you will never become a man unless you plan for it success never happens i was just listening to a a podcast today just a 15-minute podcast on leadership and it's talking about all these successful companies had really successful cultures and not a single one happened by accident it all happened with a plan the question that i have for you men is do you desire it do you desire to be strong to show yourself a man the fact is you will never attain biblical manhood unless you desire it the perfect illustration i have a friend who grew up as a young man i discipled out of young life and he was a fun guy he's probably if you met him you'll love him he's just one of those characters and he'd be horribly embarrassed that i'm sharing the story so i won't share his name but i am so proud of him because when he grew up he was really into sports and he was writing and so he would take a job a midnight job emptying the planes by ups at the airport so he'd work all night sleep all day and then just watch sports right till three o'clock and start this whole system again and then he just started asking questions of to me and my friend who was his young life leader about some of the decisions that we had to make and at that time i was working with

[12:12] the government and then all of a sudden we find out that he drops out of our world and he joined the army and one of the things that he needed to do is he was out of shape he was out of fitness had no direction and now we call him diamond cut because not only did he get in shape from a large guy slim trim he actually won soldier of the year in canada just absolutely changed his direction but it didn't happen by mistake he planned for it he saw it and he became resolved in it so the first rule of biblical manhood is to be strong desire to show yourself a man if you do not want to be a man then this will be lost on you the second rule of the biblical the second rule of biblical manhood is walk in the ways of the lord what does that mean it means obey god this is your foundation for every other rule that we're going to talk about if you can't get this obedience to god right all these other aspects of manhood are going to fall by the way let's take a look at verse three it says keep the charge of the lord your god walking in his ways and keeping his statutes his commandments his rules and his testimonies now notice it says keep the charge of the lord your god that is yahweh that is the personal god that is the god that you know that is the god that you worship there is a relationship with him so the first aspect about becoming a biblical man is having that relationship with jesus christ amen it has to begin there think of it it begins with having a purpose a personal relationship with the creator of this universe how's that for defining our purposes you see there is a responsibility in being a child of god to fail to seek out biblical manhood is to forsake your call before god as a man god has given you something he's given you responsibility and what is that responsibility to walk in his ways the question is notice way what is the direction of your life is your direction pointed towards the things of god or are they pointed towards the things of this world what motivates you what keeps you up at night are your prayers more centered on being successful in business or in god now remember we have preached on paul and paul uses this word walk a lot walk is not just a mechanical action what he's talking about is how do you carry on with your life now notice it uses to keep its statues to keep his commandments to keep his judges judgments to keep his testimonies those are all four different aspects of the law of god what david is communicating here is you not only have the ten commandments to obey but david is referencing the mosaic law the case laws the sacrificial laws he's talking about all

[16:17] those laws that you probably fell asleep when you're reading of the leviticus right when you started to go through in the old testament you kind of got lost what what's the purpose and i'll break it down for you what is the purpose of all those laws one how to love god to how to love your neighbor that's really all they're what they're all about and that aspect about loving your labor neighbor is about how do we live in community with people who share god as yahweh that's really what it is so in order to do that you need to know god's word you need to understand god's word here's an example i love others right you and i in this world thinks love means keeping things copacetic making sure there's no tension between us i'm okay they're okay we must love each other right we say good things the bible has a different version of love actually um love compels us to confront sin love compels us to confront sin in error it commands us to rebuke to correct to encourage to to teach to instruct to train one another in godliness what that means is we're all in this together if we want our testimony to actually mean something as men we take responsibility we as elders take responsibility for what goes on in this church that's why we have membership we talk about these things and how serious it is for our testimony in this community love means knowing one another it means coming beside one another it means weeping with one another it means serving one another nowhere nowhere does this imply that we are to judge one another this means when someone falls we pick them up we encourage them we come beside them there's two components to this the first is we need to study god's word and two we need his wisdom and i will get to this point in a moment just this week we were talking about one of the members here myself we're talking about the power of hospitality hospitality is not an easy thing sacrifice it means you don't get to have dinner as easy as you want it to be it means you have to let someone into your safety some people might come from other cultures heck i'm from ontario you guys are all weird to me from bc right sometimes it's going to be uncomfortable for a while sometimes you're not going to know where where the conversation is going but the advice that i always have is just order in pizza so your time is not spent cooking but your time is spent being with one another you see all those old testament commands that we read were laws regarding how to get along you see david wanted a strong kingdom for his son he he wanted his kingdom to have a strong

[20:19] righteous ruler and here we are to be responsible to one another and of course it begins with reading and knowing god's word it means spending regular time in prayer and the best way to know someone is to actually ask them and get to know them so that we can may pray more effectively for them amen knowing people shapes our prayers if you have the blessing of joining every man a warrior study this upcoming year you will memorize key points of scripture that's going to help you with this now the best thing about this second rule is that it comes with a promise right notice it says that they will prosper in whatever you do and wherever you go that the lord may establish verse four that the lord may establish his word that he spoke concerning me saying if your sons pay close attention to their way to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul you shall not lack lack a man on the throne of israel i think we can say that we will not lack a man who sits at the head of the families see when we read prosperous we think wealthy that's not what it's talking about prosperous to them meant to have wisdom and understanding it's to know life we call it in how you walk that even in the storms of life you know what's going on you don't unravel you keep it together because your trust is in god not in the storm amen it is a man who walks consistently in the power of god this will man will be known as a man of character he will be loved and cherished by his wife and his children and here's the thing men we will doubt ourselves but we should have no doubt in god now here's a warning that i have the fact of the matter is i know many foolish men men who try to lead strongly only to cause great damage because they are limited in their understanding of god's word they know some verses but they have an inability to think biblically through life's problems what that means is they are unwise and they lack understanding that's why it says prosper is wisdom and understanding it's not staking your life on a few bible verses it's understanding the message that god has given us from genesis to revelation revelation when we understand revelation and all these things what's going on in this world should not panic us at all right some people are so feared right now i have seen men take god's word to say that they are the leader in the home and only to abuse their families the fact of the matter is we can never be fully mature unless we walk together as a church accountable to one another maturity happens when we use our spiritual gifts and we follow after the lord's plan for his service not our service

[24:20] the first rule of biblical manhood is to be strong and show yourself a man the second rule of biblical manhood is walk in the ways of the lord let that be the foundation of your manhood the third rule of biblical manhood is to be wise and to be discerning let's let's look at these stories that are going on in the rest of this passage they're quite informative and interesting what's happening starting in verse five it says moreover you also know what joab the son of zariah did to me if you don't know who joab is joab was one of david's most faithful servants he began his whole career with david he was an incredible uh military genius but he was also a cruel man so that's why he says and how he dealt with the two commanders of the armies of israel abner the son of nair and amasa the son of jether whom he killed avenging in time of peace for blood that had been shed in war what he had done is he had taken revenge on deaths that had happened in war when peace was called he could have he broke the peace treaty by killing these men now david gives solomon some questionable in the eyes of many critics wisdom he says act therefore according to your wisdom but do not let his gray head go down to sheol in peace that means he needs to die as i said joab was the commander of king david's army he was a key figure now why did joab deserve death the text tells us why he murdered two men during times of peace but the key question that people always ask is why didn't david do it david had the right now abner was also a great general so now there's a transition of power i'm going to get into this david has named solomon to be his reigning king what i i'm forgetting the line of succession and it's skipping over david's older brothers all right controversy so as we're going to see other brothers are trying to jockey for the throne but david wants to make sure solomon is sitting there now if david attacks joab joab it looks like he's taking revenge out that would be seen politically you with me on this one it would look like he's just taking political revenge but what david's also saying is you can't trust this man and what's interesting is because although joab is a national hero the general joab was acting as if he was above the law god had appointed solomon to replace david david now what's interesting is that after david had died david's son adonijah was trying to usurp his younger brother and what he did is he went to bathsheba who was the queen and said could you get permission for me to marry one of david's concubines which would have been a relationship which would have put him in a stronger family position for the rights to that king

[28:29] that is when solomon used discernment and if i had ever had a son of my own i would have named him benaiah if you look through scripture benaiah is known as one of the mighty men of david and of solomon he was a priest who's called out of the priesthood to become a general and he's the guy who does with he deals with the tough problems of politics so benaiah was the one to dispatch joab to sheol the fact of the matter is that is the call of every believer to do be wise and be discerned in matthew 10 16 jesus christ is about to send these 12 disciples out to preach and he tells them be innocent as doves yet wise as serpents people are going to come against you don't give them ammunition to attack you or to hurt you for some of you who haven't been here this long a couple years ago i preached a sermon on evangelism and one of the biggest things that we can do to hurt the cause of evangelism is bruising people that aren't right for the gospel what that means it's someone i really love i want them to really know jesus and you are become so fixated on the gospel and wanting them to to talk about jesus every gift you give them is a bible or a book of a christian author and you so desperately want them to see christ but god hasn't opened their hearts yet to it so what happens is it's like this apple that just keeps getting beaten and it's bruised and you lose that relationship how is that right right we're called to be wise not forceful we don't get in on a soapbox at work and tell everybody you're going to hell and and you know what happens the boss fires you and you come crying to this church i was treated so unjustly i got fired from work for telling them they're all going to hell but i was doing what jesus called me to do no you weren't you weren't exercising you were pestering you were insulting you didn't love them see discernment doesn't mean the difference between knowing what is right and what is wrong discernment is knowing the difference between is right and what is mostly right you with me on that oftentimes you need experience to determine what that is it's why we are called to surround ourselves with counselors and people will help us through life's trials that's why we as a church have a plurality of elders with different gifts and experiences now in case you did not know david nannery has changed his name officially to dave nannery he's afraid that when david corrente comes over he will lose his opportunity of being a dave i voted for davy nannery but he didn't like that but if you know dave he spends time in the book of ecclesiastes it's another book of wisdom so that when he counsels he he understands the wisdom of the lord and he can pray and meditate and think and discern what is right and what is mostly right if i can give you one simple piece of advice that would make a difference make you wiser right here

[32:30] one now for the next month you guys ready for it there's exactly 31 chapters in the book of proverbs if you commit in your daily readings of scripture to simply read one chapter a day i guarantee you were coming out wiser no arguments prove me wrong read it for a month and say come back that you're dumber please not only does proverbs teach about the fear of the lord but it it gives us moral ethical behaviors of how to live as a righteous and upright life there's principles of honesty integrity humility kindness proverbs speaks directly to relationships and communications it deals with family dynamics friendships marriages and interactions it speaks to work and diligence it emphasizes the value of hard work diligence and wise decision making speaks to financial management discipline and correction it's why we endorse certain christian books i encourage you to listen to other biblical podcasts we all need wisdom i listen to several podcasts a week i'm trying to read as much as i can and i spend time with other men seeking their insight into church life nobody is beyond learning the one who seeks no help is the fool some of the most foolish people i have ever met are the ones that say i only read the bible seem so holy and pious but when they say that it usually means i only need my interpretation of what the bible says but there's a reason why the lord gives us in a church filled with mature believers pastors elders shepherds teachers deacons and so that we can all walk in the instruction of the lord and receive his blessing so the first rule of biblical manhood is to be strong and show yourself a man man the second rule of biblical manhood is to walk in the ways of the lord the third rule of biblical manhood be wise and discerning and the fourth rule of biblical manhood be faithful and loyal be faithful and loyal even to a fault verse seven so david's telling solomon but deal loyally with the sons of berzai the gileadite and let them be among those who eat at your table for with such loyalty they met me when i fled of solemn your brother and we know the story when of solemn was one of david's brothers or sons who was trying to overthrow the throne and david was weak of purpose and politically weak he ran instead of fighting back he loved his son and he was torn but he was running and it was violent and this man named barzilli who was an older wealthy man took him in to hide him now if he had been caught not only would have barzilli died but his whole family would have been wiped out so here's david returning kindness to regular kindness now to eat at the table wasn't just to serve them dinner it's essentially you are going to pay them a pension for the rest of their life they have a home now there was a cost for solomon one if

[36:31] he wasn't so financially well off because that family could have many offspring it might be problems on the the riches of the kingdom the fact the matter is not everybody's used to sitting at the king's table right especially for the country folk so there would have been a little bit of that but other people would have thought how come i am not sitting there why am i not being honored the fact the matter is as a man of god we are to honor loyalty and we're to honor generosity the most probably the most perfect example of loyalty in scripture is jonathan's relationship with david his friend that even he risked his life to befriend and help david when his father saul hated david so the first rule of biblical manhood is to be strong you have to desire to be a man two to walk in the ways of the lord three to be wise and discerning four to be faithful and loyal even to a fault and five be compassionate show mercy when mercy is needed show justice when justice is called for take a look at verse eight and then there is also with you shimei the son of gara the benjamite from behurim who cursed me with a grievous curse on the day when i went to mehanaheim now what's going on is this is david running from absalom again and he's in the benjamite territories guess who was a benjamite saul the first king so the benjamites had this tense relationship with david because that for the benjamites to have had a king on the throne would be great forever but because of sin uh saul's sin he was replaced by david so when david was running they came and they cursed him and they they claimed it was too much blood and all this problems you're having is because of your sin now what happened is after absalom was caught and killed the man came back and asked for forgiveness and what's great about david's wisdom and discernment here do you remember when david was on the run from saul and he's in the cave and he's already been anointed the next king and saul is sleeping in the cave and david could have easily taken his life and he was being encouraged to but david knew that his hand wasn't the one to end saul's life had he done that there would have been rebellious benjamite tribe the whole time because they would have argued that david usurped the rightful king so even without that happening there was tension so even then god's spirit on him was giving david wisdom and discernment but how do you trust such a man right the only reason he's asking forgiveness is because his life is on the line so solomon says to him all right i'll tell you what you're going to do you're going to move into jerusalem and i will not touch you you'll be free but if you cross the kindred valley where his kindred are so surely you will die so for three years shimea kept good in his age that's that is solomon

[40:31] demonstrating mercy but the guy disobeyed him he crossed the kindred valley and so he met benaiah as well and the reason is it's not because god is cruel it's because mercy and displayed had been displayed there but he had such distaste for the the david's throne and by disobeying solomon ultimately god he could have fomented seeds of rebellion and he paid for it with his life so the first rule of biblical manhood be strong desire to be a man walk in the ways of the lord be wise and discerning be faithful and loyal to your friends even to a fault be compassionate show mercy when mercy is needed but show justice when justice is called for the sixth rule of the lord and the sixth rule of biblical manhood is leave an enduring legacy for your children and those that know you just as david instructs his son to follow this road of wisdom so we should with our children a biblical man ponders ponders upon his legacy one of the most impactful actions you can do for your children is to allow them to watch you walk with the lord too often people talk but don't live it or they live it and don't talk it's both let your children know what you struggle with ask forgiveness from your children when you have wronged them a lot of people don't want to do that you don't want to let the child know that he was wrong i just had a humorous conversation with an old friend his daughter's now graduated high school and he goes i lose every debate now and i have to constantly bring in honor your father so there's this value where we are to teach and walk our faith out openly with our kids see the thing is at no time am i ever going to tell you to be like david let's be honest he was a righteous king he was a hero he was a mighty warrior he loved the lord he was a wise counselor but he was a wretched father a very poor husband and a poor example when it comes to family life but we love his humility and willing to seek after god and do what's right so when you ask me do i believe that if you follow these commands these rules you will be a man after god's own heart no because it's not a recipe but i believe if you follow these principles growth will happen with you as you partner with the holy spirit it only happens when we're to do as we're instructed to in hebrews 12 2 writer of hebrews 12 2 doesn't tell us to look to david tells us to look to jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith the one who endured the cross the one who despised the shame the one who endured hostility the fact of the matter is you're going to come under fire by your own family at work extended family for being a man of god but the fact of the matter is

[44:38] as jesus the perfect man perfect god who walked on this earth absolutely sinless and they crucified him go figure but we're to look to jesus so that we may not grow weary or faint-hearted like i said before men don't become men because it's the natural thing to happen men not do not become men by accident men become men by submitting to what god has called them to be and through the power of the holy spirit and walking in the way that he has called us to walk to submit to his word we can become men we will love our wives we will love our kids and we will follow the lord and we will prosper all the days of our lives let's pray dear lord holy heavenly father i thank you for the direction even in this this conversation and the tragic reality of first kings is that it was a book written to the people israel in exile who were wondering why they were in exile so the author writes the story of all of god's people and all the commands and statutes that they had yet they chose not to follow in god's ways they chose to disobey the line after solomon would be destroyed it'd be divided kingdom for such as men when we think in fleshly ways when we are selfish when we bail on our responsibilities father i pray for these men i pray that you would give them humble hearts humble hearts to admit where they are at with you humble hearts with their wives and their kids i pray they pray the prayer that lord i want to be strong i want to be resolved in becoming like you i i pray they i pray they connect with us just join every man a warrior walk with other men to be the type of men that god has called us to be wives thank you for your faithfulness and loving and praying and supporting your husbands and encouraging them in their walk i pray that you respect them as you were called to and as they are called to love you and protect you children may you respect and honor your fathers may you not give them trouble in the home may you submit to their leadership even when the world is telling you to go one way trust your dad your mom does trust him walk with him ask questions about his faith understand him fathers include our children in the formative stories of our youth that helped us become who we are how your hand of providence brought them to an understanding of who you are and has given you such a love for them father you're good you're gracious and i know you hear the prayers of righteous people who come before you honestly desiring to seek after you

[48:45] father i don't know how this next week is going to go but as this merger if it is your will will go through i pray for wisdom just as we welcome a whole new family here i pray that there will be trust built into one another love as we accept this our family who happens to meet in another building as we make this decision to meet together to put our gifts together for the great commission i give you thanks for the men that are leading over there we for pastor dave and andy and clay as they meet with the families father i pray for many ministries to spring up from the gifts that are in this church i i pray for a fervency within us to bless the new families to seeing the new university students have a home and be seeing a church that is hospitable god i love you and we thank you for all the things that you do in your name amen