Paul's Exhortation to Wives Part 3

[0:00] Dear Holy Heavenly Father, we just come before your Word knowing that you are God, you are King Eternal. You have designed us, you have created us, O Father, and we are to wholly function for your purpose.

[0:14] Please be with us as we continue to glorify your name through your Word. Please turn with me to Ephesians 5.

[0:24] Ephesians 5, as you should know, we are in the text of marriage. Ephesians 5, verses 22 to 24.

[0:40] So before I read today's text, I thought I would recap a little bit of the sermons that have come before us. Because one of the points that I wanted to make sure that we understood is that this teaching that Paul gives us on marriage does not exist entirely in a vacuum all on its own.

[1:02] It is a part of a letter that Paul wrote to the Ephesians church. There is five chapters and 21 verses that come before it.

[1:15] And all these teachings need to be understood as we come to this passage. It's not as if he just kind of handed out this little manual that this is how to have a good marriage.

[1:28] But he is bringing a teaching that is a part of the whole. So on November 22nd, I preached a sermon which was simply an introduction to marriage that it started in the very beginning.

[1:45] It was something that God called very good when he brought Adam and Eve together. And it was an important part of the relationship as soon as man and woman were created.

[2:01] The second sermon which occurred on November 29th, we learned about the purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is not to cure loneliness or today we see people when they talk about marriage, it's how can I avoid divorce?

[2:18] It is not that. The purpose of marriage is to glorify God. And what's interesting as we seek to glorify God in our marriages, God uses marriages to make us look more like him.

[2:36] Right? He breaks us down as he grows us up. Our sins are not hidden when we're married. And as we humbly come in that relationship, we need God more.

[2:51] We also understood that marriage begins with salvation as God calls us as his children. We also learned that he calls us to walk in his spirit, to walk in obedience to him.

[3:06] And that through that we are humble and submissive and loving towards one another. On December 6th, I unpacked some of the barriers that exist on why we've messed up not only in our marriages, but in the teachings of our marriages.

[3:24] Sometimes we've allowed the culture to creep into our understandings. Some of us grew up with horrible examples. And we just say to ourselves, there's no way I want that in my life.

[3:37] A couple of the other things that weigh on us is our own sin. We have sin that we struggle with, and we're going to touch a little bit on that today.

[3:48] And then we've been wounded by others. And sometimes those become so great of barriers to us in our understanding and our actions. On the 10th of January, we looked at how our marriages are to not only make us be like Christ, but our marriages are meant to demonstrate the love of Christ to the world.

[4:13] That the relationship between husband and wife is a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and his bride, the church. And last week, we started wading in on the issues of submission and devotion, which are spoken about in these following verses.

[4:33] And we talked about how these are hot-button topics for some of us. And I get it. I really do. But I want to say, as I hope to bring clarity to these verses, there is no fear to be heeded or needed as we come to this text.

[4:53] That once it's beautifully understood, there should be a desire in a child of Christ to beautifully follow these incredible instructions that Paul gives us.

[5:04] These words of wisdom which flow from the Holy Spirit. So let's just take a look at verse 22 as we come back to our text. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

[5:22] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[5:42] So last week, we dove into the issue of submission. And we learned that the word isn't actually in verse 22 in the original language.

[5:52] It's carried forth the idea from verse 21 in the preceding section. Submission. And what have we learned about this word? First of all, we understood that the action of submission is actually a universal command.

[6:12] At some place, somewhere, we all submit. And we're going to get into that a little bit later. But when we talked about mutually submitting, we're coming.

[6:22] God, God, in his design, has called the wife, in particular, in this area. This is her submission to God's will.

[6:33] To mutually submit is to submit to her husband in the family. The second thing that we learn from this, going back to verse 18, is that it is a divine work.

[6:47] It is the work of the Spirit in the believer's life as we walk in the Spirit. This letter to the church of Ephesians is all about how God and the power of the Holy Spirit changes us to be more like Christ.

[7:07] We don't please God in the flesh. We please God in the Spirit. And as we give ourselves over to being controlled by the Spirit, by learning his word, by subjecting our will to his, he begins that transformation in us.

[7:28] He grows us, matures us. These words that we have at the front of the stage are meant to be a constant reminder of Paul's teachings, of what it means to put off the flesh and to put on Christ.

[7:47] And these are the actions, the attributes that we put on as Christians, as those who love God. And again, we recognize this is not a work of the flesh.

[8:00] Being gentle, patient, kind doesn't make us more like Christ. But when we become more like Christ, we become more gentle, patient, and kind. They're almost, you ever been lost and you're driving on the highway and you're wondering where you go and you finally hit that sign that tells you you're on the right direction?

[8:21] That's what these attributes indicate. We're on the right direction. And the last thing that we learned about last week, I don't even know if it's the last thing, but we understand that submission is a willing act.

[8:35] It is an act that we do out of our free will. In the same way, God does not coerce us or force us to worship him.

[8:50] But he works with us and draws us and we're drawn to his goodness, his kindness, his love, his forgiveness. We're drawn to him because he is the only answer.

[9:05] So when it comes down to what does it mean to be submissive or that word submission, we learn that in the Greek, the word itself means to line up under, to order yourselves.

[9:28] And in marriage, God, and we're going to look at the text later in 1 Corinthians 11, 3. It's God, son, husband, and wife.

[9:43] And we understand that that lining up does not have a negative connotation. It is like the place of responsibility that we all are a part of worshiping God.

[9:59] By its very definition, there's humility. It's to make one lower. Meekness. Meekness.

[10:09] Meekness. And this is perfectly coincides with every part of scriptural teaching, right? Philippians 2, 3.

[10:20] We are to consider others greater than ourselves. Our attitude of living is to serve one another.

[10:30] This is a stark contrast to our culture, which wants what's good for me. My individual needs what I want.

[10:44] Yet we never seem to want to take into consideration what God's will is, that we seek to serve others.

[10:54] So we are called to do is to seek when we are in a point of submission to serve the other.

[11:11] One writer says, In Paul's teaching, there is no implication of inferiority.

[11:39] There is no implication that this is a second class status. This is simply a function of ranking as God has designed marriages.

[11:59] Verse 22. As we look at what this submission looks like, it's carried out in the home. God is simply saying, As you love me, you worship me, you call to submit to everyone, love everyone.

[12:16] What I want for you, wives, is to submit to your husbands in your home. Now, I want you to pay attention to something. Notice he tells wives who they are to submit to.

[12:30] And I know this seems really obvious, right? To your husband. It's not the guy you're dating. It's not the other men at church.

[12:44] It's not men at home or school or other places that are not your husband. I've seen too many churches create this situation where they're trying to almost beat women into submission.

[13:03] They're not allowing them to use their gifts that they've been given and serve the body. But the call that Paul is calling wives to, it is to your husband.

[13:23] The submission that God calls the wife is to a submission that springs out of the wife's position and her love for her husband with the desire to honor him as he leads the home in the pursuit of godly worship.

[13:46] And I want you to understand something. It is a call to obey God. And it is a call to submit to your husband.

[14:00] It is a willing action. It is not a forceful action. Now, what's interesting about this call is there is no condition placed on this submission.

[14:14] And what I mean by this is this command, exhortation, instructions, is given regardless of the husband and what he does.

[14:33] It doesn't simply say you submit to good godly husbands. It doesn't say that you are only to submit if they love you. If they are Christian, we talked about that last week.

[14:48] It is not dependent that I will submit to my husband when my husband starts loving me first. And the reason is, this is an action between you and God.

[15:03] This is the worship that you have before the Lord. Now, notice, it's not addressed to wives that aren't working.

[15:15] It isn't addressed to wives who may be less intelligent, less gifted. It's not addressed to wives who may have no children. Children, we see here that there is no qualification given except for the last part of that verse.

[15:37] And I hope as we understand this lone exceptions, this will destroy many of the myths and fears that people have about submission.

[15:51] It says, as to the Lord. Some of your versions might say, as it is fitting to the Lord.

[16:05] So, remember, this is a spirit-filled act of worship and obedience to God.

[16:16] Okay? God is the ultimate head of your home. Your husband is head, authority-wise, over you, but he is still accountable to God.

[16:34] And why I say that is it's not simply submitting and obeying your husband who is a small God. Your husband is still responsible to the authorities that are over him.

[16:54] And what I mean by authorities is ultimately God, but God has given us other authorities in life. One of the authorities that he gives us is church.

[17:05] He gives the church elders, pastors, shepherds, which are to care for the flock. Another area of authority that God has given us is the government.

[17:24] One of the government's primary roles is to keep us safe, to protect us. There's laws in place to protect us from injustice.

[17:40] So, the implication is God is not calling to submit to your husband when he begins to serve sin rather than God.

[17:57] God is calling you to submit. And we're going to look at, there's still submission there, but I want you to look at how this works. This means that if your husband tells you that you are to submit to him in sin, that is wrong.

[18:16] That is something that you bring to the church. Right? Sometimes the most helpful, the most loving, submissive thing that you can do in loving and honoring your husband is bringing the attention of those other people in authority over him.

[18:39] And the Lord has as us under a church authority. Or if he's breaking the law, we have a government. Now, why do I bring this up?

[18:52] Does this not seem obvious? And I talked about last week some of the abuses that I have seen. Some of them are funny. Some of them are absolutely horrifying.

[19:05] And I shared with you last week about a friend. He thought being submissive meant he had to buy the car. But I know some other guys, they've used that. Hey, honey, you have to be submissive to me as I go and buy all the silly, stupid toys that I want.

[19:19] Right? That's something a wife would have fair gain coming to talk to the church about. It's leading us into debt. It's leading us into foolishness.

[19:31] It's okay to bring other Christian authorities into that conversation. But if the decisions are taking away the family from worship and honoring God, there should be a concern by the wife.

[19:50] I have sadly seen several stations or situations where wives willingly followed their husbands into sin.

[20:02] And the husband would say, you need to submit to me. And this is sometimes Christians get a bad rap.

[20:18] Because it's not like that command overrules every other command in Scripture. It doesn't overrule God's call to overrule church authorities that we see in 1 and 2 Corinthians and Ephesians.

[20:39] It doesn't overrule what the government teaches in Romans 13 or 1 Peter 5. But sadly, I've seen these situations where men were relegated to a godlike status in the home.

[20:58] And it has brought much shame and confusion when it comes to this understanding of submission. If your husband is calling you to sin or to do something that you know without a doubt is not for the glory and worship of the Lord, that's abuse.

[21:26] That's a husband using the Bible as a weapon to get his own way to benefit himself and to harm you and your family. It is a form of manipulation.

[21:38] It is a form of control. I've seen situations where wives have remained silent as their husbands both physically and sexually abused their children and believed that there to submit to their husbands was an overriding rule.

[22:04] It's interesting. And you might be thinking that these are extreme examples, and they are.

[22:16] And I really wish they were more rare. One of my friends, a pastor about 10 years ago, sits in this church, and it's a wonderful, beautiful church.

[22:26] A lot of wonderful, really big families. But it turned out there was a cult in the church. And the cult actually worshipped the father as the head of the family. And their biblical thinking for this is if you just take a look at your Bibles.

[22:43] Look at note verses 23. It says, For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. We get that.

[22:53] His body. And his himself, its savior. All right? That is talking about Jesus Christ, who is the savior of the church.

[23:07] Some men have twisted that to mean that they are the saviors to the family. So, although he's not worshipped as supreme God, the act of worship to big God is done through their husband.

[23:25] And I have read some, the marriage vows in some of these, just the last couple of weeks, looking at certain blogs of abuse survivors and some of the twisting of scripture that happens.

[23:37] This has happened in my church. Women have been sucked into lies. Women have been sucked into lies. And sadly, we've taught so strongly that God hates divorce, that they stick with the abuse, when the divorce would actually be a form of protection for the wife and the children.

[24:08] That is why the call, a wife isn't just to be submissive to her husband, but to the ranks above him as well, is Jesus Christ.

[24:20] He's given you godly leaders. He's given you a government that is meant to protect you. Yes, divorce is bad.

[24:35] But submitting in a horrible, wretched relationship where there is abuse and hurt has no place in the family of God.

[24:49] And sometimes following God in your marriage might mean you lose your marriage.

[25:00] That is a scary thing. But if it's done with the right worship to God, it is God's will.

[25:12] That's why even in 1 Peter, it's talking about a wife who's married to an unbeliever. If he decides to leave, he can leave.

[25:24] It doesn't say chase after him, bend the rules, stop worshiping God. No, not at all. It says to love him. Give him a desire to be there, to see God worked out.

[25:35] Who doesn't want to live in a place where the love of Jesus Christ is demonstrated on a daily basis to them, right? You see, the marriage that Paul is calling for us in Ephesians is a life-giving marriage.

[25:54] It is a marriage that is based on mutual submission to both seek to worship God. As wives and husbands submit to their roles as given to them by God, the marriage and the family blossom.

[26:11] It flourishes. And I also want to call attention to this other word that often gets overlooked in the sense of the word. Notice it says to your own husbands.

[26:23] Sometimes we read that and we see that as a possessive, which it is. But it's so much more. And you're going to understand this next week.

[26:39] We're going to talk about the cultural view of marriage in that time, which, by the way, the Jewish, the Greek, and the Roman had horrible views of culture, and you wouldn't want to be a woman in any of those cultures, okay?

[26:53] But Paul drops this term to your own husbands. This is Paul communicating tenderness.

[27:11] You get to submit to your very own husband, as we're going to learn is supposed to be a picture of Christ. He is your husband.

[27:25] He is no one else's. He is charged to love you, to care for you, to provide for you. And we're going to learn everything that's expected of the husband next week.

[27:39] And it's a wonderful picture that men are supposed to be to their wives.

[27:52] As the love, when we read the Gospels, people are so attracted to Jesus Christ because of his love for them.

[28:04] That is to be the love that exists in a Christian home. That wife has complete and utter understanding that she is loved by her very own husband.

[28:21] And at this time of the world, she was regarded as property that he could do with whatever he wanted.

[28:37] He could throw her out. He could divorce her without a reason. Or there had to be a reason. But it could be as simple as burning the day's dinner.

[28:52] What a horrible place it would have been for a woman in that time. But Paul here is saying, listen guys, I got this whole other ethic for you.

[29:03] This whole other teaching which happens because of Jesus Christ. And I'm asking you in this process to submit to your very own husband.

[29:16] He is yours. In your role, as he is yours and no one else's, it's communicating that mutual belonging to one another.

[29:30] The reality is, your husband's best asset is you. Right? Your desire for your husband is to flourish, to grow, just as his is for you.

[29:45] To give you opportunities to grow, to flourish, to grow that marriage. It doesn't mean agreeing on everything. In fact, it means sometimes not agreeing with him.

[30:01] All too often, submission gets characterized that somehow a woman must leave all her gifts at the altar.

[30:15] All her intelligence, her abilities, her individualistic. Now, okay, I'll tell you one thing right here. When you get married, you're no longer an individual, okay?

[30:28] So if you are afraid of losing yourself, then don't get married. Because you will. But hopefully you're going to lose the really bad parts of you.

[30:39] And you're going to grow some really great parts to you. But I get that question sometimes. Can I still be me? No. Why? Because you're now a you. That is automatically change.

[30:51] All right? I'm not talking about those kind of fears. And here's, I was reading this article, The Myths of Submission. And I'm not going to cover them. I thought I would. But just by teaching, we're going to be able to handle and deal with all those myths of submission.

[31:05] You know, I've heard from some women. And you read some of these articles of the fears that they have. But sometimes it's just life management.

[31:17] And let's just say you're single and you're listening to this. And you're trying to make decisions. You're a girl and you love a guy. And God in his gifts has given you something. And that gift might be to be a doctor.

[31:32] All right? And you're going to use that to glorify God. And you're all in. And then you meet Guy. And Guy. And Guy loves you. He's a really great guy. Godly guy. But he believes his calling is to be a lawyer, international law.

[31:49] And it's to protect endangered people around the world. Right? Two wonderful, great callings, abilities, gifts that God's called them to. And I've gotten this question in similar situations.

[32:02] Well, who gives up their career if they get married? And I'm like, guys, that's life management. You have to best make that marriage work in the eyes of God.

[32:15] If you're just going to live two separate lives and try to make that work, it's going to be really hard. And the wife has this fear.

[32:26] Well, if I have to marry him, I have to submit to him. Which is true. There's the submission thing. But I don't think you guys are really thinking this out. The fact of the matter is, you guys are both taking incredibly intensive career decisions where God's calling you.

[32:40] It might be better to marry someone else. Someone who might be in line with helping you in the agencies where you serve those things.

[32:52] Because they often say they want families. And what happens is, great careers sometimes lead to horrible home lives of neglect for the children. And money doesn't save everything.

[33:06] I can tell you that by knowing, I know families that are some of the richest evangelicals in the world thought that money could cover their sin.

[33:18] And it doesn't cover the child's understanding that he is not a part of his family. That he's raised by others.

[33:29] So, I push those questions out of the submission. I call that just be smart. Marry someone's life who's compatible with you.

[33:40] For me to marry, say I married a woman who's an archaeologist, has to travel to 80 countries a year. That's kind of not conducive for pastoral life. I made the decision when I left CSIS that the CSIS life would not be a good career to be married.

[33:57] And I desired to be married. Anyway, enough of that. So, but going back to the wife, I said all too often submission leads to or gets characterized that a woman somehow leaves all her gifts and brains at the altar.

[34:19] The fact of the matter is that's crazy talk. You are your husband's best asset. Your wisdom, your talents, your brains, your good with money, your study of the Bible, your experience.

[34:32] Those are all blessings to your husband. And you're supposed to use those to nurture and nourish him. He might have faults in areas.

[34:43] Lord willing, I know I do and my wife fills up a lot of my holes. All these things that you are are blessings to your own husband.

[34:54] And I pray that you do choose to marry a man who loves those things about you and does not seek to squelch you. You see, a responsible, submissive wife influences her husband.

[35:07] She wants to be a part of the decision-making process. Now, I know some women are happy if they just go and do everything the husband wants. And they have some very distinct roles in the family.

[35:21] And it's kind of interesting as I grow older, some of my friends have lost wives or some have lost husbands. And I know some in the roles that they've done are completely lost.

[35:32] One friend, he didn't even not know how to wash clothes. That's how his wife has loved him. She's done his clothes, made sure his laundry was done for them. And that was a beautiful picture of her loving him.

[35:43] But that doesn't mean every husband and wife has to work that way. So please know that submission and the lies get stated that you are to be somewhat less is wrong.

[36:02] All right? Let's get back to the text here, guys. Verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. We got that? Now, this is the verse that really gets people riled up.

[36:18] It's okay to love and submit, but then you find out the reason. For the husband is the head of the wife. Oh, no. Even as Christ is the head of the church. Okay. His body and is himself its savior.

[36:32] This is the verse that gets attacked. The reason the wife is supposed to submit to her husband as provided by Paul is because God has placed the husband as head over his wife.

[36:48] It sounds so insulting. It sounds so demeaning. Why can't the wife be the head of the house? Women are just as strong, smart, capable.

[37:00] Yes, some women are even wiser, smarter, more capable than their husbands. But that is not what Paul or Jesus Christ tells us or what Paul wrote here.

[37:13] Then Paul puts this incredibly qualifying statement. Even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior.

[37:24] The reality is any organization, no matter if it's made of two people, 200 or 10,000, there's always someone who's responsible.

[37:38] There's someone in this place God has put in authority who will ultimately answer to Jesus.

[37:50] Okay. The reality is there can only be one head and praise God. There's only one model. Right? Right? Right? And I get that the idea of headship is a stumbling block for people.

[38:04] Right? Because we sometimes read that if someone is an authority, that means the person who serves them must not be as important, must not be as gifted, must not be as whatever.

[38:19] They are somehow less than. Again, okay, I have a confession I'm going to make to you. I watch The Crown. It's true.

[38:30] I never thought I'd ever watch a TV show about the British monarchy. I really, I never thought I would. When it came out, I had no interest. And then for some reason, I think I might have been bored or fell asleep, woke up, it was on, and I watched it.

[38:46] It's a fascinating show. And I love it how it intertweaves history. Anyway, there's this scene in The Crown that demonstrates everything what marriage isn't.

[38:59] And you have, it is Prince Andrew is about to get married, and he is complaining that his marriage to Lady Sarah Ferguson is not on the front page.

[39:12] And the reason why is the Queen is in a spat with Margaret Thatcher, the British Prime Minister at the time. And his older brother, Prince Charles, simply says to him, what does it matter?

[39:28] You're fifth in line to the throne. You're nothing but a fringe member of the family.

[39:38] And it was interesting. He was the same blood, born of the same mother and father. But because of the order of birth in the royal family, any child that Prince Charles has, Prince Andrew gets pushed aside.

[39:57] Every child that Princess Anne has pushes him down the line. And if you watch the throne, you see that's a tension. Unless you're the queen, you're a nobody. That is not the biblical teaching.

[40:12] Do you understand? People sometimes think if they're not in authority, they must be second rate.

[40:23] And of course, sometimes you do serve someone who is less than capable. But you still need to serve.

[40:38] Some people believe that because the husband is the head, that must mean the wife is somehow a fringe, a second class, not as important.

[40:50] I'm going to tell you right now, those are lies from the pit of hell. How do I know that? Well, everywhere the Bible teaches is the exact opposite.

[41:02] First of all, what is the view of marriage? I'm going to be kind of quick through some of these verses. Matthew 19, 5 to 6. This is Jesus Christ quoting Genesis, what Moses wrote.

[41:15] Therefore, a man shall leave his wife and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. All right? One unit. Horrible way to say it.

[41:26] One flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

[41:38] So there is no primary secondary in there, right? Marriage has always been viewed as oneness in the Bible. Headship means authority and ultimately where the responsible lies.

[41:51] It never, ever means hierarchy or better than. Now some people, and this is an objection, one of the arguments they use is they say that head means source.

[42:08] Like the head of the river. It's just where life begins. That has been dismantled 2,000 times over. There is no credibility. The fact of the matter is when he uses head, it's the same word that when Paul's describing all the gifts of the body, there's a head, a neck, eyes.

[42:29] There's equality in all the parts, right? At no point is it ever hinted at that a piece is less than.

[42:41] This is a God-ordained role. And never does it reduce the wife's role to some secondary status. You need two to have a godly marriage.

[42:53] You do. You do. At no point is it even hint there is a lesser part. It's always the oneness of marriage of two people, a man and a woman coming together to pursue the Lord.

[43:11] It is not a relationship where the wife is in service to the husband so that he might accomplish whatever goals he may choose. It's what they do to glorify God together.

[43:27] All right. Let me tell you why and where in Scripture that this idea that there is some differences other than functioning roles.

[43:39] First verse, Galatians 3.28. Right? There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free. But there is no male and female.

[43:49] For you are all one in Christ Jesus. All right. It doesn't say all of a sudden. And people have tried to use that verse to say that you can plug and play any function there.

[44:02] No, you can't. There's still roles. But you are all equal in Christ Jesus. This passage makes it perfectly clear that in the sight of God that men and women are equal spiritually.

[44:18] They both have equal standing in Christ. They each have equal privileges in Christ. They all have equal citizenship in Christ.

[44:30] They are both equal children of Christ. There is no superiority preached there at all. And just because a sinful man may act like a tyrant or a dictator.

[44:43] We have this text that says that we are to be as in Christ. Is Jesus Christ a dictator or a tyrant?

[44:59] And right? Okay. So we have that. Then we go to 1 Corinthians 11.3. 1 Corinthians 11.3. And I want to be a little bit quick so I don't keep you here all day. And it says, But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ.

[45:15] The head of a wife is her husband. And the head of Christ is God. So we have different roles. Do not mean different standings. Understandings.

[45:26] When looking at this passage, we see the husband's role as head of the wife underscores the equal, essential equality of men and women.

[45:37] All right? I said that kind of bad. But what we see in this passage is essential spiritual equality. Why? And I'll show it to you right here with three different truths. The first one, God has given every husband a clear responsibility for spiritual leadership.

[45:53] That's what being the head means. And men, you dare not abdicate that responsibility. You can't fluff it off. We're going to talk about that next week.

[46:05] It says here that the husband and not the wife is to be the head of the family. This is God's design. Within every home, someone must ultimately have responsibility of leadership.

[46:18] And scripture is clear that this is a sign to the husband. All right? So we see that first truth. Truth number two.

[46:30] The model for the husband's headship is Christ. Christ-like leadership involves not only authority for spiritual leadership, but also the duties of care, nurturing, protection, and self-sacrifice.

[46:49] We'll cover that next week more. But the fact is, the duties of the husband are incredible and even more incredible given the context that Ephesians 5 is written in.

[47:02] So this text here demolishes any notion that the husband's headship makes him any way superior to the wife.

[47:13] That's not what it's talking about. And thirdly, notice the statement that comes at the end of this verse. The head of Christ is God. All right?

[47:24] This idea of headship just doesn't exist in marriages. It exists in the Trinity. Even in the Trinity, God, the Father, is recognized as head.

[47:41] The Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ both equally recognized as God, but with completely different responsibilities. So the question begs, is Jesus or the Holy Spirit any less God?

[48:05] Does the Bible teach them that they're second fiddle, less than, not equal? No. It does not.

[48:18] John 10.30. Just let me give you a few verses here. It says, I and the Father are one. John 14.9 says, whoever has seen me has seen the Father.

[48:35] Colossians 1.15. Jesus is the image of the invisible God. Colossians 2.9. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily.

[48:51] So if you believe that Jesus Christ wasn't the same as God, these verses are telling us the complete opposite. That if you see Jesus, you are seeing God.

[49:07] In Jesus, the fullness of God dwelt in earthly form. So we have this Trinity, God the Father, and here's God the Son.

[49:24] Fully God. Right? Now, we're going to see here there's different roles. Matthew 28.18. All authority in heaven and on earth has been given me.

[49:41] Someone had to give him that authority. John 4.34. John 4.34. Yes. My food is to do the will of him who sent me and accomplish his work.

[49:57] So that's Jesus saying, my food is to the will of God, and God is the one who sent me. John 5.30.

[50:08] I seek not my own will, but the will of the one who sent me. So even Jesus, who is the image of the invisible God, who is all fully God, is still underneath the will of the Father.

[50:27] John 6.38. For I have come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me.

[50:37] Paul in 1 Corinthians 11.3 is making that same equation.

[50:50] Jesus and God, both God, equal in essence. Husband and wife, equal in spiritual before the Lord, equal in essence, but different functions.

[51:03] By God's own design, Jesus Christ, his son, submits to the Father's headship.

[51:19] It is not a lesser role. It is not an inferior role. It is a role which Christ submitted to.

[51:34] The submission by what the Bible teaches here is the wives are like Christ when they submit to the role given to them by God.

[51:45] The ultimate glory that comes when you obey God by submitting to your husband is giving glory to God the Father.

[52:02] The glory is not in your husband. Your husband is to take that and do his role to glorify God.

[52:17] And you know what else? And we've covered this. This submission that the wife makes to her husband or offers her husband is a product of free will empowered by the Holy Spirit.

[52:38] The act of submission is a divine work. Walking in the Spirit makes us more like Christ.

[52:53] The reality is we can only submit to God's authority and his will in the power of the Spirit.

[53:05] And this action is a work of faith. Through your faith in Jesus Christ we, you, receive righteousness as your own to keep the commandments through the power of the Holy Spirit.

[53:32] That's awesome. This is life changing. Do you get this? Through our faith in Jesus Christ we receive his righteousness as our own and as we keep his commandments through the power of the Holy Spirit we are becoming more like Jesus.

[53:52] not only is a wife being Christ-like in submission but she's growing in faith as the power of the Spirit works in her.

[54:13] There's this other incredible passage which completely destroys any hierarchy. It's 1 Corinthians 7 3. Verse 3 says the husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband.

[54:33] The duty he's talking about the sexual relationship. Verse 4 the wife does not have authority over her own body but her husband does.

[54:44] Uh-oh wait. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. That is the perfect mutually mutuality submission working itself as one.

[55:05] Each member of the marriage has a duty to each other. your husband is not your priest.

[55:19] He is not the mediator you use to go before God. He is the man that you have been called to submit to, love, respect, and worship to God not your husband.

[55:35] I want to just end with a quote here. the reality is submission is hard. It is. Any wife who is saying that oh I really love submitting to my husband he's really good and he's perfect and I am perfect at doing it they're kind of lying.

[55:58] And as much as some wife might want think submission is letting her husband make all the decisions that's not biblical submission either. The reason that submission is tough is found in the words of Charles Spurgeon here.

[56:15] He says a lack of submission is not new or rare or a rare fault in mankind. Ever since the fall it has been the root of all sin.

[56:28] From the moment when our mother Eve stretched out her hand to pluck the forbidden fruit and her husband joined her and setting up the human will against the divine the sons of men have universally been guilty of a lack of conformity to the will of God.

[56:48] They chose their own way and will not submit their wills. They think their thoughts and will not submit their understanding. They love earthly things and will not submit their affection.

[57:03] Man wants to be his own law and his own master. Then verse 24 now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[57:29] the fact of the matter is Christ is the key to all of this. Not only is Christ the key to unlocking a good marriage it's the key to unlocking a God blessed life.

[57:51] Knowing Jesus Christ unlocks us out of the cage of sin out of the cage of foolishness out of the cage of destruction Jesus Christ came to seek and save the lost.

[58:15] So if here and you're listening and you're wondering about how does my marriage get better from here maybe it's a complete disaster you need to bring Christ into your life.

[58:35] You need to accept him as Lord and Savior over all. Genesis 315 after Eve had taken that fruit Jesus God said he would bring his son to crush the serpent's head and bring us freedom and that freedom comes in Jesus Christ.

[59:00] Freedom in Jesus Christ means admitting that I'm a sinner in need of a Savior. Knowing Jesus Christ means knowing that he loves me more than I ever could be loved for reasons that are entirely beyond me.

[59:17] And knowing Jesus Christ means I now trust my life. I confess with my mouth that he is Lord and Savior that he is indeed the Son of God and I give my life to him.

[59:31] And as I do it God grows me betters me changes me and that has to have an influence on your marriage.

[59:45] And we need to pray and submit to the Spirit. you see following Jesus Christ happens in every area of our lives.

[59:56] It is not simply just Jesus and my family or just Jesus as work. It's just Jesus everywhere. So my prayer for you is that you would seek to not be master over your life but first begin by submitting your life to Jesus.

[60:21] If you have any more questions I would love to talk to you and share more of the good news of Jesus Christ and how he saves us from ourselves.

[60:36] Let's pray. Dear Lord, Heavenly Father, we thank you for the grace that you have upon us. We thank you for this call that you give and marriages that you have uniquely designed us to do our roles.

[60:51] And these roles that we do are in worship to you, not to ourselves. Father, I pray for men that would seek after your own son so that they can model that love in their homes to their wives and to their kids.

[61:08] For wives who have been through some bad storms, I pray that you would give them biblical understanding. to love their husbands and to desire to come beside them to be their best for their husbands and their marriage best.

[61:24] As they mutually serve one another in worshiping you, O God. Lord, we live in a culture that is filled with lies, lies about the family, lies about men and women, even lies about male and female.

[61:38] But there is a purpose in your creation's hand from the very beginning. There is a reason a man is a man and a woman is a woman and we might not be able to fully understand all these things.

[61:51] Your scriptures gives us some knowledge of these things, but ultimately even without that understanding we can obey. We can come after you, we can pursue you.

[62:04] Father, I just pray as wives, may you pray for your husbands that they would pursue Jesus Christ with every ounce of their being. May you be blessed in those prayers to see that love reflected in your homes.

[62:20] May you see husbands willing to take the spiritual lead in caring for your children. God, what a wonderful opportunity you have given us to show your love in demonstration to the world.

[62:35] And you do this not by some women think their talents need to be dumbed down. No, not at all. That they be lifted up.

[62:49] That they be loved. Father, I know personally such a deep issue because I've seen so many lies damage so many families, and I pray for your grace and healing on those families.

[63:08] I don't know how children who've lived with abuse go on to trust anybody else, but I know they can through the power of Jesus Christ.

[63:22] I've seen it. we can overcome this world through the power of Jesus Christ, through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

[63:37] So, Father, we just offer you this worship, and I pray that these commands would be seen as a form of worship to you in all things.

[63:50] Not belittling, not second rated commands that are meant to lessen us, but commands that are meant to augment the name of Jesus.

[64:02] In your holy name we pray, Amen.