Lord - How Can My Marriage Change?

[0:00] Amen. For you that are new or visiting, welcome. My name is BK. I have the pleasure of serving! Please turn with me in your Bibles to 1 Peter 3. Before I get into today's sermon, I want to communicate a big thank you. In case you may be wondering, I might be wearing a different type of shirt today.

[0:34] This is one of the things that I was able to bring back from my missions trip to Indonesia. It's called a batik. Is Rina here today? Rina? Yay, Rina! There we go. From her home country, great time. It was, not only did I bring back the shirt, but I brought back a virus and a bacteria infection too.

[0:56] So I've been kind of out of it for the last couple of weeks, so I give much thanks to Dave and David for picking up some of the slack. Yeah, Indonesia was kind of crazy. Jakarta, the capital city, actually has more people than all of Canada. So you've got a city with 40 million people. And the only other country that I really could compare it to is to Manila. And the one thing they have beaten on Manila is that to go 60 kilometers, it only takes four hours as opposed to the traditional eight in Manila.

[1:32] So they've kind of got that traffic thing settled out a little bit better than the Philippines. But it is a busy, busy city. The blessing was the church that I spoke at in the academy in which I taught at was located in downtown Jakarta. So I was able to stay at a hotel kind of right downtown and walk everywhere in the 40 degree humidity that Indonesia offered. But yeah, it was a blessing.

[2:01] So this is a traditional dress shirt from there. And they're each got a very individual pattern. So there's no two shirts that are alike. I've got some notes that I brought back from there. And what I'm going to do is put the majority of them in a letter and send it out to you guys. I haven't had a chance to finish it. But last night, one of the head missionaries there named John Zhang, he will be here at the end of June visiting us. He just sent me some notes that some of the people had commented. And essentially, it was called Academy Exposisi. It was an academy on how to teach expository preaching, because that is very unheard of in that country. Most of the teaching is more therapeutic and topical, but also it's kind of moralistic. So it's the kind of preaching is don't be a Goliath, be a David type of thing, which as you know, it is a man-centered message, because it's all about putting our faith in Jesus Christ to strengthen us to have a heart after

[3:16] God like David did, as opposed to an emphasis on the action. So it was a good time. So I'm one of the, so it was filled with pastors, but also denominational leaders. And one of the leaders wrote, his name's Pastor Pierre. He just said that in his, in charge of his denominations teaching and preaching department, and he wrote that he plans to have all the churches in his denomination learn to do expository preaching for the first time in its history. So it was kind of, it was a smaller group around 80, but the impact went beyond that. So my thanks to you for those who were praying for me, and for being generous and giving to that trip. We are able to pay for the lunch and for books, and sadly that lunch is what got me sick, but what are you going to do? So as you noted, I asked you to turn to 1 Peter 3 today. I know many of you were expecting us to be back in Romans, but I was kind of planning it, but as I was preparing for my son's marriage this weekend, and I just had thoughts to Rogan and Caitlin's marriage that is coming up next weekend,

[4:34] I found myself going through some of my old files made up of sermons that I have preached on marriage, looking at sermons I'd listened to and took notes, and even I have these notes that wisdom from some of my former pastors have shared with me over their years, and in the eight plus years of marriage, it's not a topic that we've really dug deep into. Many years ago when we were in Ephesians, we dug into it, but there was a lot of stuff that I would have loved to have covered in Andrew and Wendy's marriage, but there was no time, so I figured I'm going to give you guys both barrels today.

[5:19] And at the same time, a few weekends ago, we just had a women's conference built around the theme of dying to self. Now, one of the observations that came out of that conference is how difficult that subject can be. And to be honest with you, it should be no surprise, because I'm sure whether you're a man or woman, the idea of dying to self is difficult.

[5:48] We live in a world that is about promoting yourself. It's about protecting yourself. It's about asserting yourself. It is about putting yourself first. And then we have this man named Jesus who comes along and he says, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me. It's a struggle that every Christian battles. So it's not just a struggle that women have, and that's why it was addressed a couple of weeks ago, but men struggle with it and pastors struggle with it as well. Every one of us are naturally wired through our relation to Adam to put ourselves ourselves at the center of our lives, which is what brings us to 1 Peter 3.

[6:46] Because the apostle Peter is going to show us that what dying to self looks like in one of the most important relationships that God has given to us, and that is a relationship between a husband and wife.

[7:01] Today, this morning, we are going to be, or I am going to be, dressing primarily the wives. Next week, Peter and Paul will address husbands, but before you men get too comfortable, I want to give you a warning, and that warning is, I want you to resist the temptation to hope that your spouse is listening to this, right? Because when God's word addresses us, our first responsibility is not to think how much someone else needs to hear this, but our responsibility is to ask, what is God saying to me? So today, ladies, Peter is going to speak directly to you.

[7:52] And men, before you start thinking that you can check out, start thinking about your next round of golf or your next mountain bike ride, I want you to pay attention because in this passage, God provides for us his design for marriage. He gives us his design for leadership and God's design for Christ-like character. Because ultimately, this passage is not about learning how to getting our way.

[8:20] And in fact, in some ways, it's not primarily about marriage. The issue is about trusting God enough to do things his way. It's learning about trusting God enough to do things his way, even when his way runs contrary to everything our culture tells us to do. You with me on that?

[8:52] Let me pray first before we get into this most incredible sensitive subject. Dear Lord, Heavenly Father, I pray that you'd give these words power. These power, because it comes from your word, and we as a church want to courageously sit under your word. We want this expository preaching.

[9:07] We want your words to expose us, to expose our motives, our actions, our thoughts. And the reason we want them to be exposed is that you can use them not only to convict us, but to move us closer to you. Father, sometimes we need to be confronted with our attitudes, our actions, and the way we do life, even with words that are hard to hear. But Father, we have this world that is shouting at us to be one way, whereas your word is calling us to be another way. Father, as we settle into this text, I know some of us are going to have defensive walls. Some of these words are going to be triggering, but I pray that you would pour out your grace and love to give them understanding of your character and your love that you have for us behind these words. So Father, I pray that you would give my voice a steadiness, and I pray that you'd give us hearts to understand and learn from your timeless truth. So Lord, I ask you, please grant us these things. In your most holy and precious name, amen.

[10:25] So my first point this morning is one of the things we need to do is we need to trust God's method more than our own method. We need to trust God's method more than our own method. Essentially, this sermon is going to be based around three commands that are found in this text. Let's look at verse 1 of 1 Peter chapter 3.

[10:47] It says, likewise, wives, be subject. Some of your Bibles will even say to submit. Bad word, right? That's like kind of like the four-letter word. We don't want to talk about submission. We don't like that. That's impinging upon my freedoms. But it says, to your own husband, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. Now that command here, be subject, is the topic of submission. But before we get into that, I want us to notice Peter's goal. And that goal is change. I think there's a universal truth that is largely understood, whether it be in Indonesia, Philippines, Canada, America, or wherever you are from, that husbands need to change. Amen, women? Right? Husbands need to change. You know it. We know it.

[11:56] And Peter is talking about husbands here who need to change. But here's the thing. Peter's not talking about a husband who forgets to take out the garbage. Peter is not talking about a husband who leaves his socks on the floor. Peter is not talking about a husband who forgets some of his daily duties around the house. In fact, Peter is describing the most extreme situation possible. Peter is talking about a husband who does not obey the word of God. An unbelieving husband. A spiritually indifferent husband.

[12:42] A husband who is moving in the opposite direction that you are. The very thing his wife desperately wants to see change. And Peter asks a simple question.

[12:58] How do you bring about that change? Now I know when I ask that question, how do you bring change in your husband? You already got some of the answers, right? You explain things to him.

[13:11] You persuade him. You argue. You remind. You correct. And if that doesn't work, you repeat it all over again, right? You explain. You persuade. You argue. You remind. You correct. And if that doesn't work, what do you do? You just shout it louder, right? You explain. You persuade. You argue. You remind. You correct. You correct. But what Peter is teaching here, despite our assumption that if people would simply listen to us, they would change, Peter has one specific instruction. And this truth is words don't work. Words don't work. In fact, God's word gives us wisdom when we choose to use words.

[14:06] Proverbs 14.1 says, the wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands turns it, tears it down. What does that mean? I'm going to give you a quote from one of my pastors. He says, that there are women who are trying to make good things happen in their marriage, but in reality, those very attempts, far from advancing God's agenda for their home are in fact tearing down the very thing that they've been trying to build up.

[14:43] Proverbs 9.13 says, a foolish woman is loud, is boisterous, is clamorous. Proverbs 21.19 warns us, it is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

[15:00] Also reminds us in Proverbs 24, it is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. It's like if the roof wasn't far enough, you better be in the desert away from the house. And it reminds us of the truth that words don't work.

[15:27] So what works? And this is where Peter's words stand out to us. That they, husbands, may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

[15:48] You see, Peter is not forbidding communication. Peter, because we all know that healthy marriages demand communication. Amen? We need to converse. We need to be talking.

[16:00] But Peter here is addressing something deeper. Peter is addressing our tendency to trust our own methods more than God's.

[16:11] methods. Because here is the problem. The problem is not that wives are not wrong about areas needing to change in their husbands.

[16:24] The problem is that the natural methods many wives use to bring about change often works against God's design. At the heart, there is a problem where they believe that nagging is a response.

[16:43] And at the heart of that is if I say it one more time, then maybe things will change. If I pressure enough, maybe then things will change.

[16:54] If I keep bringing it up, maybe then things will change. But here, in this text, Peter calls us to a 180 degree turn to the other direction.

[17:11] Paul is telling us is that you, wives, do not bring out change in your husband. God does. Think about this for a moment.

[17:23] The fact is, you have not the power to save your husband. You do not have the power to sanctify your husband. You do not have the power to convict your husband.

[17:34] You do not have the power to transform your husband. Those are roles that are reserved for the Holy Spirit. And that is difficult for us because, let's be honest, whether we're husband or wives, we want control.

[17:50] Amen? Amen? We want things, do I not even get an amen from that? Don't lie in the house of God. We all want control, right? We all want immediate results.

[18:02] We want visible progress. We like seeing change happen in our or on our timetable. But here's a truth we need to accept and it is a hard truth.

[18:18] God rarely works on our timetable. God rarely works on our timetable. We just need to know our Bibles to know this.

[18:30] Abraham waited decades for his promised son. Joseph waited years in prison for God to free him. Israel waited centuries for their Messiah.

[18:46] and the disciples continued to wait for Christ's kingdom. But here's the thing. God may not work on our timetable, but the fact of the matter is God is never late.

[19:04] God is never late, but he is often slower than we would choose. And this brings us to the greatest challenge in every marriage. How do I learn to trust God with the process of change?

[19:22] You don't need to be a wife struggling with that. You're a husband as well, right? How do I learn to trust God with the process of change in my spouse?

[19:35] Now, it does not mean you ignore the problem. It does not mean you don't speak about some of the problems. And that does not mean pretending everything is okay. Because we know those people.

[19:47] Everything is rosy and shiny in my house because heaven forbid we admit that there might be a struggle in our home. So good Christians, that never happens, right?

[19:58] Come on. All you good Christians, put up your hand. No problems in the home. It doesn't happen. I'm just by myself. Perfect home right there.

[20:09] I think Paul has to say about something like that in ministry. But that's besides the point. See, what it means is by learning to trust God with the process of change, it means refusing to place our confidence in pressuring someone, in manipulating someone, or even in constant correction.

[20:36] Instead, the holy ones of God place their confidence of God. Ladies, hear me carefully. The issue is not whether your husband needs to change.

[20:50] The issue is whether you trust God enough to let God do the changing. Peter says, one of the most powerful testimonies a wife can have is not found in her words.

[21:04] Notice what it says here in verse two. When they see your respectful and pure conduct. That is a godly life.

[21:17] That is a respectful spirit. That is a faithful example. A woman who is trusting God even while she waits for God to work.

[21:30] What Peter is telling us is that kind of faith speaks louder than a thousand lectures. And that kind of faith demonstrates something beautiful.

[21:45] That she trusts God. So that's the first point. We need to learn to trust God. Number two, the second command that he gives us is that we are to pursue, our wives are to pursue what God calls beautiful.

[22:06] Wives, look at verse three and four. And listen, this isn't just for the wives. This is for women who want to be wives. This is for women who were wives. God is speaking to everywhere because God redeems us.

[22:18] Amen? He takes broken pieces of pottery that we are and he rebuilds us into our word. And perhaps we will not be blessed with a second marriage, but we are going to be blessed with relationships with other people where we can pray, encourage, and bless them.

[22:36] Where you who are getting older can come into those younger women's lives and say, listen, I lived that life. I had those struggles. Let me turn you to what God's word has to say on those things.

[22:50] So let's look at verse three. It says, Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

[23:14] Now, Paul is moving from influence from having influence to beauty, right? And I want you to notice something. Peter is not condemning beauty.

[23:28] He's not condemning nice clothes. He's not condemning jewelry. He's not condemning taking care of yourself. In fact, the Bible celebrates beauty. Proverbs 31, woman, is called beautiful.

[23:41] Song of Solomon celebrates physical beauty. And I've seen in Christian, some Christian circles that they go against that. Dye my hair, heaven forbid, right? That would be ungodly.

[23:53] That I actually wear earrings, can't do it. In fact, if that burlap sack fit better, I'd wear that, right? I've seen that type of idea where they get anti-beauty.

[24:05] That's not what Peter's talking about. The issue is what kind of beauty are you pursuing? Because we know what the world's definition is, right?

[24:17] The world tells us that your beauty is physical appearance. That your beauty is youthfulness, fashionable, attractiveness, being noticed, being desired.

[24:31] And the fact is the world spends billions of dollars every year selling that message to you. Every advertisement, every magazine, every social media platform, every influencer.

[24:48] The world's message to women is your value comes from how you look, your worth comes from your appearance, and your beauty determines your significance.

[25:02] And Peter simply says here, no. it doesn't. Peter tells us there is something more important.

[25:14] There is something more lasting. And there is something more beautiful. What is it? Verse 4 tells us the hidden person of the heart.

[25:27] Now think about how radically different that is. the world is obsessed by what it can see. But God is concerned with what he can see.

[25:41] The world focuses on the outer person. God focuses on the inner person. The world asks, how do I look? God asks, who are you becoming?

[25:54] And that is why Paul, Peter, sorry, calls it imperishable beauty. Because as we all know, everything physical fades.

[26:06] Come on, we fight it, right? We don't want to get sun on our skin. We want to stay as youthful as we can. So what Peter is saying is not pessimism, it's reality.

[26:19] The fact is, hair changes. Faces change. And there's some mornings, right? You get up, it feels like a hard day, you look in the mirror, and you're like, who is that person? I face that every day.

[26:32] Man, I look tired. Bodies change. I just went through that. Just little bugs can affect us in other countries, and obviously our strength changes.

[26:46] I'm glad I now have two strong sons to do some of the work around the house for me. Because the fact of the matter is, time affects every single one of us.

[26:56] But here's the thing. Godly character does not fade. It grows. It deepens. It matures.

[27:09] And in fact, it becomes more beautiful with age. The fact is, one of the great lies of our culture is that a woman's value decreases as she gets older.

[27:20] You know what? God says the exact opposite. A woman walking closely with Jesus Christ at 70 is more beautiful than she was at 20.

[27:32] Because the beauty God values is not skin deep, it's soul deep. And then Peter gives us two characteristics. He says, a gentle and quiet spirit.

[27:44] Now here's the thing, Peter's not describing a personality. A lot of people get these two words confused. And he's not saying everyone must become shy and demure and not say anything.

[27:57] He's not saying every woman must become passive. He's not saying every woman must stop leading, speaking, serving, or using her gifts.

[28:08] Because the fact of the matter is the Bible is full of strong women. We go from Deborah to Ruth to Esther to Priscilla to Lydia. So the issue is not strength. The issue is spirit.

[28:20] That word gentle actually can be translated or meek is another word that we use for it. But it describes strength under control.

[28:36] It's knowing what's right, but knowing and having the wisdom and the strength to hold back when you need to hold back, but press in when you need to press in. It is the same word word that is used to describe Jesus Christ.

[28:54] Jesus Christ wasn't weak, amen? Jesus was powerful. Yet Jesus described himself as gentle and lowly in heart.

[29:09] And that word quiet does not mean silent. It means to be settled, to be peaceful. A better way to say it, I think, it's to be a woman who rests in God's sovereignty.

[29:28] It means not constantly agitated, not constantly fighting for control, not constantly striving to make everything happen. what Peter is describing is a calm confidence that comes from trusting God, amen?

[29:48] It's knowing, it's having the assurance God's got this. And it's hard because you want to push in, you see the change that needs to happen, you live with it every day, but to sit there and have this spirit to say, Lord, you've got this.

[30:08] I trust you love my husband. I trust you want the best for my husband. And Peter describes this entire section by stating, which in God's sight is very precious.

[30:30] Ladies, I don't want you to miss this. God tells you exactly what he values here. There is no mystery to what God values.

[30:41] He explains it to you right now. He tells you exactly what he finds beautiful. And God tells you exactly what captures his attention.

[30:58] and here it is. It's not perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect makeup, perfect health. What God values is a heart that is transformed by the grace of God.

[31:14] Amen? If you understand the grace of God in your life, you will have that same expectation for God to bring about his grace in your husband's life.

[31:26] It is a woman who is growing in Christ likeness. It is a woman who displays faith. It is a woman who reflects the character of Jesus.

[31:39] And Peter simply says that is beautiful to God. Let's be honest. This should matter more than the opinion of anyone else.

[31:53] We have a whole world that's working against us, right? The world may never celebrate this kind of beauty. Social media may never reward this kind of beauty. Our culture may never applaud this kind of beauty.

[32:07] But God does. And if God calls it precious, my advice is that we need to pursue it.

[32:18] Pursue it. And the question every Christian woman must answer is this. Am I spending more time cultivating the outer person or the inner person?

[32:32] Time. Time determines what we value. Because Peter reminds us that one is temporary and the other is eternal.

[32:46] Now at this point in the passage, Peter has completely turned the world system upside down. The world says beauty is eternal. God says beauty is internal.

[32:59] The world says beauty fades with age. God says true beauty grows with age. The world says beauty is measured by what people think about you. But God says beauty is measured by what he thinks about you.

[33:14] And that raises some very important questions. things. What happens when obedience is difficult? What happens when trusting God's way is not easy?

[33:29] What happens when trusting God feels risky? Because we need to be honest, right? It's one thing to talk about submission when your husband's leading well. It's one thing to talk about a gentle and quiet spirit when life is going smoothly.

[33:47] It's one thing to trust God when everything is working out the way you hoped. But the challenge is what happens when life isn't going the way you want it to?

[34:03] What do you do when your husband disappoints you? Hurts you even? What do you do when prayers feel like they go unanswered?

[34:14] What do you do when the future is uncertain and it feels more gloomy than it does bright? What about when obedience costs something?

[34:27] That, my friends, is where true faith is tested. And Peter, such a compassionate wise man under the power of the Holy Spirit, knows this.

[34:41] And he does something that's really interesting. He gives a very different command. He points to an example. He points us to a woman who learned to trust God through uncertainty.

[34:57] He calls us to a woman who learned to trust God when the future made no sense at all. He points us to a woman who learned to trust God even when obedience was frightening.

[35:12] Her name is Sarah and through her example Peter reminds us of one final truth and it is this. A godly woman follows the path of faith.

[35:24] She does not follow the path of fear. Godly woman follows the path of faith, not fear. Let's take a look at verse five and six.

[35:36] for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves. By submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord and you are her children.

[35:53] If you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Now it's interesting that he reaches back into the first couple that's called out of the world and to submit to God, right?

[36:10] Sarah, and I want you to notice what Peter emphasizes here. He does not focus on Sarah's appearance and we know from scripture that she was regarded as beautiful, but that's not his focus.

[36:22] He does not focus on her abilities. He does not focus on any of her accomplishments. He simply focuses on her faith. Verse five, this is how the holy women who hoped in God.

[36:34] God. This is key. They hoped in God. Their confidence was in God. Their trust was in God. Their security was in God.

[36:44] And they knew that their future was in God. And they were not ultimately trusting their circumstances. They were not trusting their husbands. They were not trusting themselves.

[36:57] They were simply trusting God. God. And here's this woman who's a remarkable example of that. Think about her life.

[37:09] She's living in a foreign country named Ur. And her husband gets spoken to by God. And he comes up to her and God tells him, leave your country.

[37:20] So Abraham comes home and says, honey, we're moving. Where are we going? I don't know. But we're going. Now, that's not exactly reassuring for Sarah, is it?

[37:31] But she goes. She follows. Then God promises a son, and not just a son, but their sons would number the stars in the sky.

[37:44] And she waits. And she waits. She waits five years, ten years, twenty years, twenty-five years, still no child.

[37:59] Still no child, still no fulfillment of a promise. Still no visible evidence that God's promise will come true. I think we can imagine the questions, the doubts, the disappointments she felt.

[38:15] In fact, she believed her womb was barren, and she would bear no child. But we know that God was working, and here he is, not a according to Sarah's timetable, but according to his timetable.

[38:32] And that's the same challenge for us. We believe God can work, amen? That's why you're here at church. You believe God can do something. But we just usually believe that and want him to do it faster, right?

[38:46] We want our answers answered right now. We believe God is faithful. We just wish he would follow our schedule. Let's be honest.

[39:01] If you know the story of Sarah, you know that Sarah was not perfect. Sarah doubted. In fact, she laughed at God. And at one point, she tried to help God out by giving another woman to her husband so he could have children with her.

[39:23] He could have children with her. We know that Sarah had struggles, she had failures, and she had moments where fear got the best of her.

[39:36] Just like us. Yet Peter looks at the overall pattern of her life and says, there was a woman who learned to trust God.

[39:47] God. And then Peter ends it with these remarkable words. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

[40:03] What an interesting way to end this passage. Peter could have easily said, do not be rebellious. Do not be stubborn. Do not be argumentative.

[40:14] Do not be prideful. He simply gives the command, do not fear. Why?

[40:25] Because fear is often what drives all those silly things we do, right? All our insecurities, all our nagging, all our bugging, all our frustrations are built around the fact that we are fearful of something or how a situation may turn out that we will not like.

[40:48] Fear makes us grasp for control. Fear drives our manipulation. Fear makes us pressure people. Fear makes us insist on our own way and fear makes us stop trusting God.

[41:03] But Peter simply says, trust God. Even when obedience is difficult, trust God. Even when change is slow, trust God.

[41:18] Even when the future is uncertain, trust God. Even when circumstances are frightening.

[41:30] Because here's the truth. The same God who cared for Sarah is the same God who cares for you right now.

[41:42] He is the same God who fulfilled his promises to Sarah and is faithful to fulfill his promises to you today. He is the same God who was sovereign over her life and is sovereign over your life.

[42:01] And that means Christian women can live differently than the world. Not because life is easy, not because marriage is easy, not because every husband makes it easy, but because God is trustworthy.

[42:18] Ultimately, this is Peter's message to you wives. Trust God's method, trust God's definition of beauty, and trust God's promises.

[42:33] Even when obedience makes you feel like you're quaking with fear. As I close this morning, I want to bring us back to where we started.

[42:49] Last weekend, many of the women in our church gathered around the theme dying to sell. And it's something, we want to relish it, it sounds beautiful in theory, but often we don't because it costs us something.

[43:10] It requires us to surrender control, it requires us to trust God when we would rather trust ourselves, until it requires us to wait when we want immediate results, and until it requires us to obey when obedience feels frightening.

[43:27] And we all do this. We negotiate with God. I'll die to self if you only ask me 80% of the time. Maybe 70% of the time I die to you but I live 30% for me.

[43:42] Is that okay, God? Because that's okay. That means I'm just going to die to myself in these areas, but these areas I trust me more. Think about that. We do it, but we don't think of it in those terms, do we?

[43:59] And this is where exactly Paul has taken us. He's not calling women to be weak. He's not calling women to be silent. He's not calling women to be doormats. He's calling Christian women to become women of faith.

[44:12] Women who trust God more than themselves. Women who trust God's method more than their own methods. Women who pursue God's definition of beauty rather than the world's definition of beauty.

[44:24] Women who trust God's promises even when the future is uncertain. Women who are willing to die to self and say, Lord, I will do things your way.

[44:40] Perhaps the greatest challenge in this passage is, will I trust God with the people I cannot change? Because the truth is, every one of us has someone we want to change, right?

[44:53] We've got a husband, a wife, a child, a parent, a friend, a co-worker, we might know better and we want them to change even though we might know what's better for them.

[45:10] And sometimes we wish they could think differently, act differently, and live differently. But Peter so clearly reminds us that ultimately we do not have the power to transform another human heart.

[45:24] That role belongs to God. God's responsibility is faithfulness. God's responsibility is transformation.

[45:37] Ladies, I believe Peter's message is simple. Trust God. Trust Him when it's easy. Trust Him when it's difficult.

[45:49] Trust Him when answers come quickly. Trust Him when answers seem delayed. Trust Him when obedience makes sense. and trust Him when obedience is frightening.

[46:01] Why? Because the God who cared for Sarah is the same God who cares for you. Your situation is not unique.

[46:14] The God who guided Sarah is guiding you. And the God who kept His promises then is still keeping His promises today. As David opened up he said may God raise up women in our church who are known for merely not outward beauty but for deep and abiding faith.

[46:38] Women whose hope is in God women whose trust is in God and women who follow Christ. even when that path calls them to die to self.

[46:55] Let's pray. Dear most holy heavenly Father I just give you thanks for the power and the clarity of your word. I give you thanks for even some of my mentors and men and women who spoke into my life and even brought truth and clarity to this passage for me.

[47:16] Lord I pray for the women in our church it is not easy everywhere we look in this world this world this culture wants us to bend to its will where you are calling us to your will and we know it happens early we know the parents here know their young daughters are being called to a certain way long before they're even teenagers they're obsessed with beauty and acceptance socially all these pressures from the world Lord I pray for strong parents who know how to limit the intakes of their kids there's more kids are dealing with more issues today than we had to deal with people my age at our in our childhood I think I read a statistic that simply stated that kids who are 9 10 and 11 are dealing with more issues than we dealt with in our 20s and

[48:19] I don't feel very or I look back I didn't really feel all that mature in my 20s God I pray for grace for each and every one of us I pray for the strength to continue hoping in you to continue persevering to continue trusting you Father I pray for the men here who as we get into next week we're going to have a challenge that Peter and Paul lay out to us on ways that we not only need to change but we need to let God transform us in these ways in order to love our wives better Father I pray that you would continue to pour out your grace and mercy and even for those people here that are not married I pray that they would continue to pray for their parents their friends marriages their children's marriages and would just look back and trust

[49:28] God and not have the regrets that life often brings or the shame that so often follows regret pray that our friends and family here would understand that we are now new created beings and that God does redeem broken marriages broken relationships that you take our lives and you do something worthy and honorable with them that you make us pure oh father and you do not waste time reminding us of our mistakes you simply remind us that we are saints and we find our love and our hope in you and you alone father I thank you for your good word your proverbs which dispels wisdom to us lord I pray and ask for your blessing on every beautiful woman here who seek their value before you and not the world

[50:31] I ask you these things your most holy precious and everlasting name amen