Eph 5.22-24 A God-Honouring Bride

[0:00] Ephesians chapter 5 today, specifically verses 22-24.! It's important to draw in chapters 1-3.

[0:12] Today's text contains some imperatives, but the imperatives are based on the indicatives that are in chapters 1-3. Now it's important to remember that our works do not earn us favor or merit before a holy God.

[0:31] And while there's direction given on what to do, doing these things does not save a person. Salvation comes by faith alone and Christ alone. So chapters 1-3 of Ephesians, we need to read into this text.

[0:44] So, as though we had just read the first three chapters and it's fresh in our mind that we were dead in our sins and transgressions, but God, being rich in mercy, made us alive, being predestined by the Father, purchased by the Son, and claimed by the Spirit.

[1:02] We read that into this text so that when we understand the imperatives that are listed here, it is those who have been renewed. So, first of all, this doesn't save anybody.

[1:15] And second of all, the power to obey God does not come within human nature, but within that which God supplies. So it's important to make that law-gospel distinction.

[1:28] The gospel first, and then the fruit of the work of the saving gospel is subsequent obedience. Now, as we transition in Ephesians, in chapter 4, we go from what you ought to believe to what you ought to do.

[1:47] And it starts by talking about walk-worthy. And that walk-worthy theme is picked up in chapter 5 to walk in love, walk in light, and walk in wisdom.

[1:58] And in the context of walking in wisdom, a part of walking in wisdom is submitting to one another in the fear of God. So, walking in wisdom, submitting to one another in the fear of God, then follows verse 22 to 24.

[2:15] Now, the greater text of 22 and following is of the household code, in the relation of husband and wife, and children to their parents, and so on. And in the relations of husband and wives, it begins by talking about wives and the biblical duties of wives.

[2:35] And when I say this at this part, then husbands are probably thinking to themselves, if their wives are here, and might think, good, I hope she's paying attention. But this sermon is not to be received in how to be critical of our spouse.

[2:50] It's not to be received of how to point the finger at other people. It's to be received in a posture of self-examination and of repentance where necessary.

[3:01] So, that being said, now the wives are thinking to themselves, good, I hope he's listening. Now, in terms of marriage or husband and wife relations, if somebody was to go online, for example, and Google, helps for marriage, there are secular helps available.

[3:20] Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all secular helps are wrong and bad. But, well, first of all, to look at secular helps, there will be some that is bad.

[3:34] So, let's say prudence and discernment is applied in order to sift out all the bad stuff. There will be secular helps available online that is downright carnal and sinful.

[3:45] There are some that will just be unhelpful. But there will be some that is good. So, let's say we've sifted out all that is carnal and sinful. We've sifted out all that is unhelpful.

[3:57] And we cherry-pick the secular helps that are good and apply that. Even applying just the good and the best of secular helps, we need to understand and recognize that secular helps, at best, can only achieve a common grace marriage.

[4:12] Because God's intended purpose for marriage is something that is far greater and beyond what can be achieved by secular helps and common grace. There's something, there's a blessing that's much greater than secular helps.

[4:27] And here's what I mean. Let's say if your task was to plow a field. And to plow the field, you need to plow in straight lines. That is your primary task, is to plow straight lines.

[4:40] How unhelpful would it be in your primary task of plowing straight lines if you were exclusively focused on all the rocks that are being turned up? So, instead of focusing on your primary task, you're now consumed and focused on all the rocks that you're turning up.

[4:53] While it would be helpful to you after your primary task, then come back with a wagon and clean up the rocks as a secondary task, it's not the primary task. So, sure, there could be helps available in lifting rocks.

[5:09] For example, there might be five steps on how to effectively lift rocks out of a plow field. You can loosen it from the ground. You lift with your legs and not with your back. But when that is your exclusive focus, you are going to find after a while that you feel exhausted from a burden that you've been carrying for a long time.

[5:30] You've lost sight of your primary task. You've lost sight of where you're supposed to be going. You no longer know where you are. You look around and you see that there's no rest in sight and you feel very alone because you're standing in the middle of the field carrying a heavy burden and you've lost sight of the primary task.

[5:49] So, in a similar way, when we think about marriage, there's a primary task with marriage. The primary task is maintaining the right orientation.

[6:01] And this won't be about three easy steps to a better marriage. It would be about orientating ourselves to Christ in the church and then living accordingly.

[6:13] So, just as in plowing a field, the primary task is orienting yourself and plowing and not exclusively focusing on the rocks that are turned up. So, just as secular helps cannot achieve the blessings that God intended, the primary task of biblical marriage is to orientate ourselves on Christ in the church.

[6:32] Now, perhaps kids, you're thinking, well, I'm not married. This is a sermon I can just tune out of and stop paying attention. There's a future you want to consider. But also, have you ever, with other kids, played a game where you use code?

[6:49] You use code to decipher a meaning that's not the words that you used. Well, in a similar way, because our language fails us in the description of the Almighty God, just as code can be used as signs for something to signify something else, so also in our text, there are signs that point to what they signify.

[7:14] So, I want you to pay attention and see if you can figure out what the signs are and what it is that they signify. And then we'll come back to it at the end. But for now, we'll read Ephesians 5, verses 15 to 33.

[7:32] Ephesians 5, 15 to 33. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil.

[7:46] Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, in hymns, in spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

[8:14] Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.

[8:28] Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

[8:57] So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

[9:13] For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

[9:25] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

[9:41] Our great God, again, we thank you for your word and the time that we have to consider the things contained in your word. We pray, Holy Spirit, that you would be with us and attend the preaching of the word, that you would make the word of God effectual to the hearers.

[9:55] Pray that you would illuminate to us and help us to grow in all godliness and in our focus of the excellencies, the beauty of our Redeemer and of his wondrous works.

[10:06] We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Now, as I mentioned, our particular focus this morning is verses 22 to 24.

[10:19] And in 22 to 24, what's going on is that we see here God's order for households involving the wife being subject to her husband as a picture of the church looking to Christ.

[10:31] So as such, we will draw out and examine in verse 22, the duty, in verse 23, the reason, and then in verse 24, the implication.

[10:43] Now, as you're noticing, probably while looking at the text as we read through it, that verse 22 to 24 speaks about wives. And you might be thinking that there seems to be a very strong focus on wives here and it seems to be quite, quite perhaps hard on wives.

[11:02] But remember, we're just looking at verses 22 to 24, so just wait for the next section to see what follows. First of all, though, in verse 22, we see the duty.

[11:14] Now, the duty is, as it says, wives, submit. Now, a summary of submit.

[11:24] What does submit mean? We need to remember the context of which we're coming out of and which that word is actually drawn from in the text. And that's 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

[11:36] Wives. So now we're particularly focusing on wives and their duty as it pertains to that of submission. So what does that mean, to submit? What does submission mean?

[11:48] To submit means to be subject to or it means to obey. Now, in 1 Peter 3, 5 to 7, that's how we draw out the implications of what it means to obey and we'll come back to that later.

[12:01] But ultimately, for a wife to submit or for a wife to be subject to her husband is ultimately obedience to God. It's not obedience to man because of man's authority.

[12:13] It's obedience to God because of God's delegated authority. But the duty is to submit or to be subject to. Now, this is recognition of an ordered structure.

[12:26] It's God's order, a recognition of it and a desire to come under that order. It is to look to and come under proper authority. And again, that's the greater context of verse 21 is that Christians are to order themselves under the proper authority.

[12:44] And that's... It's a challenge, but it's also important because that's what sin does. That's what sin is. Sin is a desire to be autonomous. Sin is a desire to be self-autonomous ultimately from God.

[12:56] God's way. No, I'm not going to follow God's way. I'm going to follow my way. God can't tell me what to do. And that self-autonomy, of course, spreads out into God's ordained delegated authorities, whether it be church or government or family.

[13:13] So it's recognizing an ordered structure and to look to it and to come under that proper authority. Now, submission is not a number of things. To talk about submission is, we can also rule out what it is not.

[13:25] And especially in today's culture, there might be people's hackles on the back of their neck might come up with the very thought of a wife submitting to her husband. So let's rule out what submission is not.

[13:38] Submission is not being belittled or begraded. The concept of inferiority is not that of a person. There is inferiority and superiority of rank, but not of a person, which is actually quite important to, as we draw out the concept of submission here.

[13:56] So submission is not being an inferior person. Submission is not being belittled or degraded. Rather, submission is enjoying the blessings of God's good and right design.

[14:07] So that's a good thing. That's not a thing to get our hackles up over. Submission is not conditional on agreeing. While it is good to agree, and as husbands leading, we would want our wives' agreement, and that is something we would definitely want to communicate and to lead our wives in order to have mutual agreement.

[14:32] However, submission is not in itself conditional upon agreement. Submission, ultimately, is when there is not agreement. And we'll come to draw that out further of what that looks like.

[14:46] Also, submission is not doing nothing because it's the husband's responsibility. responsibility. So a wife submitting to her husband is not saying, well, I don't agree and it's not my will, but it's his will, so I'm just going to step out of the way and let him do it.

[15:02] That is not true submission. Submission is not doing nothing because it's the husband's responsibility, and we see that in Proverbs 31. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn't just step out of the way and do nothing.

[15:14] In fact, she does as much as she can for her family. So, that's what submission is not. Submission is biblical. Submission is biblical, submission is voluntary, and submission is cheerful.

[15:33] Now, who is the wife to submit to? 22a says the duty wives submit, and then 22b says wives submit to your own husbands.

[15:47] Now, a wife is not to be subject to another's husband, and there's two implications we can draw of this. First of all, is that a wife is not to be ruled over by some other husband.

[15:59] Just because he is a husband, he cannot come into your home and tell your wife what she needs to do or how she needs to submit or lead your family. They're to be subject to their own husbands.

[16:13] And the other implication is that the wife is not to covet the headship of another husband. She's to submit to her own husband. So that could be perhaps the Jones' family.

[16:28] The husband every Thursday gets his family to dress up in matching denim outfits and they go out to the river and take family photos and the wife thinks, I wish my husband would lead that way. And she covets that man's leadership.

[16:40] It's kind of a simple illustration, but how it might be more relevant is perhaps if a wife's husband is not saved. Now, for the wife to desire for the husband to lead her family in prayer is a good thing to desire.

[16:59] That's a good thing. But if the woman then coveted that man as head of the home or sought to circumvent her own husband to try to seek that husband's headship and leadership and coveting him, that would be wrong.

[17:14] So, wives, submit to your own husbands. So, think of the question then, if a wife is to submit to her own husband, must her husband be perfect in order for her to submit to him?

[17:32] What does our text tell us? Well, to put into context or to think beyond the text, the Lord Jesus Christ, having taken to himself a body, born of the Virgin Mary, was the perfect and sinless incarnate Son of God, but yet according to his human nature, he was subject to his flawed and sinful human parents, his not sinless human parents.

[18:03] So, his submission was not dependent on the perfection of the authority. authority. And second of all, if perfection of the authority was required for biblical submission, then this text would apply to nobody.

[18:19] This whole section would apply to nobody because there is, other than Christ, no perfect authority. So, there would be no exhortation for wives to submit to their husbands because there would be no husband perfect to submit to.

[18:35] there would be no parents perfect for their children to submit to, and so on. If perfection was required for obedience, then this wouldn't apply to anyone. No wife and no husband is married to a perfect spouse.

[18:51] So, if that's not a loophole, what other loopholes can we find? What if the husband is negligent of responsibility as head, or what if he defers the authority to his wife?

[19:04] What if he doesn't want it, and so he just defers it to her? Then, is this an exception? Then may the wife step into the void and assume the lead or authority.

[19:16] R.C. Sproul wrote on marriage, and he wrote an answer that I think is quite fitting. He wrote, the woman is free to use all her skills and powers of persuasion to help the man carry out his responsibility, but she must not assume the authority that is not hers.

[19:34] God made the husband as head, and there is no way around that. He is either a good head or he is a bad head. The husband is the head. If he's negligent as head, it just means he's a bad head.

[19:47] It doesn't mean that he is not the head. When the wife assumes the role of a head, because she is dissatisfied, perhaps it's for legitimate reasons, perhaps it's for illegitimate reasons, but when the wife assumes the authority as head, then the husband is the head.

[20:07] It's not an option, it's an indicative. The husband is the head. So if the husband is the head, but a negligent head, and the wife assumes the role as head, then there's two heads.

[20:20] And we know that anything with two heads is a monster. Just because there is disorder in the household doesn't justify even more disorder.

[20:34] So, what then is the wife to do? In all of these difficult situations we've considered, what if the husband just doesn't lead?

[20:46] What then is the wife to do? Well, our answer we find in our text. Wives, submit to your own husband. What if her husband is not only negligent, but also is an unbeliever?

[21:02] Surely this must be an exception. Surely this must be a loophole. Then surely the wife doesn't have to submit. Then surely she can rule the roost if her husband is not only negligent, but an unbeliever.

[21:16] 1 Peter 3, which we mentioned earlier, is a parallel verse to Ephesians 5 here. It says, Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct, accompanied by fear.

[21:41] Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

[21:58] So here in 1 Peter 3, we see that even if the husband who is negligent and a non-believer, this even still is not a loophole, and it even still, wives submit to your own husbands.

[22:12] If the correct response to an unsaved husband is respectful and pure conduct out of a gentle and quiet spirit, then all the more is it the correct response to the Christian husband.

[22:26] What about if a wife is dissatisfied with her husband's leading? If she is dissatisfied, is she then to use her attitude and combative words to communicate her disagreement to her husband so he knows that she's dissatisfied with his headship.

[22:51] Three Proverbs address this. Proverbs 21.9 says, It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21.19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

[23:06] Proverbs 27.15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike. So a wife who is not respectful and submissive turns the home into an uninhabitable place of torture.

[23:21] But, on the other hand, when a wife is ordered according to who God has called her to be, she turns the home into a place of harmony, of peace, and of blessing.

[23:33] Psalm 18.22 says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. A true or false question for you to think about. True or false?

[23:46] Wives are called to submit when her husband deserves it. Well, the answer is false. A wife's submission to her husband is submission in obedience to the Lord.

[24:00] It's not, their text doesn't say it's dependent on whether he deserves it. It is obedience to the Lord. So, continuing in verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands, and in the latter part, as to the Lord.

[24:15] And wives submitting to their husbands as to the Lord. The wife's submission is actually an expression of the wife's service to the Lord. A wife voluntarily submits to her own husband as she does to the Lord.

[24:33] This is a command for wives from the Lord, so it is therefore obedience, and to be just as cheerful as it is obedience to the Lord. The Lord is consequently dishonored when a wife is unsubmissive and disorderly in the home.

[24:50] So, when we disobey God-ordained authorities, we disobey God. Which leads us to our next point. God's household order of wives submitting to husbands is because of gospel-illustrating headship rooted in creation.

[25:11] Verse 23, he starts off by saying, for the husband is head of the wife. So, verse 22 gives us the duty, and then verse 23 gives us the reason.

[25:23] Wives, submit your own husbands. For the husband is head of the wife. So, here we have the reason. Headship is the rationale for the wife's voluntary submission.

[25:36] Now, this is an indicative, not an imperative. The indicative is that the husband is the head. It does not say, should you decide that the husband should be the head?

[25:49] It does not say, should the husband be the one who in your situation is most fitting to be the head? Rather, as an indicative, the husband is the head.

[26:01] Now, the husband as the head, we see also in 1 Corinthians 11, 3, and this is based on Genesis. It's based on creation. It's rooted back to creation.

[26:11] And we see in Genesis 2, 21 to 24, that the husband is the head, which means superior rank or master.

[26:23] Now, these terms can be difficult to hear, particularly as I said, in our culture, but to understand what it actually means. Now, as a head to be superior in rank does not mean superior intrinsically.

[26:40] And this is important to understand the duty of the wife, because the duty, the reason that's given, what's the reason? The reason for the submission is not because men are superior.

[26:52] The reason that's given is not because men are stronger. The reason that's given is not saying men are superior because they have better management skills. Because that may not always be the case.

[27:05] Men are built differently, but there might be marriages where the woman is stronger than the men. There might be marriages where the woman has better management skills than the man. Does this mean that the wife should then be the head?

[27:17] Well, what is the reason? The way to understand the duty is to understand the reason for the duty. The reason why the wife is to submit to the husband is because the husband is head, which is the superiority of rank, not based on something intrinsic within the husband, but because it is a creation ordinance.

[27:43] We see this in 1 Corinthians 11, 8-9 and 1 Timothy 2, 11-13. But marriage endures as long as creation does.

[27:53] We see marriage right from the beginning. Marriage endures. God's design for marriage endures all the way for as long as creation does.

[28:06] So as long as creation endures, so does marriage and so does God's intended purpose for marriage and God's roles for marriage. Now Eve was created, as you remember, to be Adam's helper.

[28:21] Eve was to be a helper to Adam, not by taking over the husband's calling, but by supporting him in his execution of it. Now Adam was to serve in the Garden of Eden as a type of prophet, priest, and king.

[28:41] Maybe you've heard this before, maybe you've read books on this before, maybe this is the first time you've heard it. But Adam, wrap your mind around this, Adam was to serve in the garden as a type of prophet, priest, and king.

[28:53] How so? His prophetic responsibility included receiving the word of God and ensuring that all obeyed. His priestly responsibilities included ministering in and guarding the sanctity of the place, guarding from outsiders and expelling intruders.

[29:10] We see these defined in Genesis 3-7 and Genesis 2-16-7. Adam. But then also Adam's kingly responsibilities were to exercise dominion.

[29:24] Adam was to function as a type of prophet, priest, and king, and Adam failed. Adam did not uphold his responsibilities and instead he followed Eve in transgressing God's law.

[29:37] Now, in our text, verse 23, it moves on to say, as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body.

[29:53] Now, Adam as a type of prophet, priest, and king failed. but Jesus Christ, who is the second Adam, is the perfect prophet, priest, and king, and head of the church.

[30:06] And also analogously called the bride. The church is analogously called the bride of Christ. Now, the husband and wife relationship is to be a picture of Christ and the church.

[30:21] With the husband as head of the home, the home is a place to be set apart for the service of God. And its head, the husband, is to act analogously as prophet, priest, and king, to speak God's word and spiritually shepherd, to intercede, lead, and represent in approaching God in worship, and to lead, provide for, protect, and defend.

[30:46] This includes defending from the seductions of the serpent. So, just as Christ, the second Adam, is to the church, so as the husband is to be as Christ to the church, so the husband is to be analogously as the second Adam is to the church.

[31:15] It is good and orderly and right. So, it's a no-brainer, isn't it? Isn't it a no-brainer then that the wife should submit to her husband? But, yet, we live in a sin-cursed world.

[31:27] So, God's good and right design of wives submitting to their own husbands does not happen naturally. We live in a sin-cursed world, and wives still require this exhortation, because it doesn't just happen naturally.

[31:44] Genesis 3.16, after the fall, when we learn about the curse, says to Eve, your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

[32:00] Now, this doesn't mean that Eve will have a crush on Adam. That is not a part of the curse. What it means when it says your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you, is that Eve's desire shall be to rule over her husband, and he shall rule over her.

[32:19] This is a part of the curse, a part of the sin-cursed world, and it is certainly a part of the unredeemed and sin, but even those who have been renewed and given new hearts, we are not in a state of glory.

[32:39] This is not as good as it gets. We are waiting for the consummation of the kingdom of glory, and for now we are in a state of grace. In a state of grace, there is still remaining corruption, and we are still able to sin.

[32:55] So the curse, we are still in a sin-cursed world, which means that we are not free from the effects and the clutches of sin as a result of the curse, as a result of the fall.

[33:09] Now, in Genesis 3, 16, when it says, your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you, Matthew Poole's commentary says, thy desire shall be referred or submitted to thy husband's will and pleasure to grant or deny them as he sees fit.

[33:26] So while redeemed believers are renewed and reoriented, there remains, corrupt, remaining corruption in these imperfect bodies in a fallen, sin-cursed world, and sin is crouching at the door.

[33:40] Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it. Husbands, you cannot force or enforce your wife's submission.

[33:54] She must submit herself. What is the duty? The duty is not husbands, submit your wives to yourselves. Rather, wives, submit to your own husbands.

[34:06] She must submit herself. So if she insists on not coming under your lead and being under subjection to her husband, husbands cannot force the wife's submission.

[34:22] And if she is unwilling to submit herself, then if the husband was just to say, well, if that's what she wants, that's what she's going to be happy, then a happy wife is a happy life.

[34:38] But that's not true here, is it? A happy wife is a happy life as it regards how a husband leads when a wife does not want to subject herself to the husband's headship is wrong.

[34:56] It would be the same failure that Adam made to hand the reins over to the wife and to follow her in her sin. Now, while submission can't be forced, you as husbands must not sin with her, come what may.

[35:11] Now, what kind of an illustration of Christ in the church would that be? What would that portray? That the church insists on not following the Lord's will, so the Lord then follows the church into disorder and into sin.

[35:26] something that's important to remember is that everything is the husband's responsibility. That doesn't mean that the wife can just say, well, it's the husband's responsibility, not mine.

[35:37] I don't have to do anything. What that means is that should there be disorder in the home, it's the husband's responsibility. It is a weighty responsibility to be the head.

[35:50] It is a weighty responsibility to be the head of the home. So, if it is the wife's unsubmissive posture that's the cause of the disorder in the home, it's the husband's responsibility as the head.

[36:10] It is very weighty. The husband cannot force the wife's submission. She must submit herself. Which brings us to our third point. The church's submission to Christ is the pattern for the wife's submission to her husband.

[36:29] So, third, the implication. In verse 24, we see the implication. Sometimes in life, we have people that we look up to in particular ways, and we admire things about them.

[36:44] We might think in terms of marriage. Perhaps we do know of people who we admire certain things about their marriage which we would like to implement in our marriage. Or perhaps we think how good it would be to have the ideal marriage to look to as an example which we can emulate in our marriage.

[37:07] Well, in our text here, it says in verse 24, therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

[37:21] So the church's submission to Christ is the pattern for the wife's submission to her husband to imitate. We have here a pattern to imitate within our marriages, and that is the church's submission to Christ.

[37:33] Christ. And the wife, then, in following this pattern, is to respond to her husband as the church responds to Christ, that is joyfully, willingly, and heartily.

[37:48] What kind of a picture would it portray if the church did not joyfully follow after Christ, but was led, was dragged, kicking and screaming into an eternal kingdom of glory where there is joy forever?

[38:07] What kind of a picture would it portray if the church did not heartily follow after Christ? So just as the church is subject to Christ, so also.

[38:20] This is deference to the head for the health and harmony of the marriage relationship. How can a marriage relationship grow in health and harmony? Biblical deference to the biblical head.

[38:35] The relationship between husband and wife is analogical to that between Christ and the church. Now, you've probably actually heard at some point, somebody use a analogy, an analogical illustration of husband and wife to something that is actually wrong.

[38:55] Even some who are quite reputable may have at some point earlier in their ministries done this.

[39:05] church. But we're given an illustration of scripture of what the husband and wife is, and that is an analogy or a picture of Christ and the church. It is not an analogy of the trinity.

[39:18] Sometimes that is attributed that the roles of husband and wife is used as an illustration of the trinity, which it is not. the triune God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, these three are one God, same in essence, equal in power and glory.

[39:40] There is no differences in wills. They do not have a disagreement, and one needs to, despite their disagreement, come into submission to the other.

[39:51] husband and wife, marriage relationship is not an analogy of the trinity. It is an analogy of Christ and the church.

[40:08] So, therefore, just as the church, now, as the church, as the church makes Christ's will her rule, so also the wife is to make her husband's will will, her rule, and desire.

[40:24] Just as, therefore, so also, in a like manner, to pattern or to imitate after this. So, examine your heart. Is it your heart's desire to indeed follow after the head of the home, as the church does to Christ?

[40:44] This is not something that's merely external. It's not merely externally following after. It is an internal, desire. It is willful, heartily, and joyfully.

[40:56] Now, marriage is not 50-50. Perhaps you may have heard that. Perhaps secular helps might say that. But marriage is not 50-50. In a 50-50 relationship of authority, what happens when there's disagreement?

[41:08] It would just be like a perpetual arm wrestle to see whose will is going to come out over top. Biblical marriages are not 50-50. The church does not share 50% of authority with Christ.

[41:22] The church is not a democracy, it's a kingdom, and so is the home. The wife is to submit and respect her husband, and the husband is to love and lead his wife.

[41:37] Now, finally, in verse 23, it says, sorry, in verse 24, it says, in everything. This shows us how comprehensive the submission is. We already saw that submission is not dependent on agreement, submission is not dependent upon approval, but here we see the comprehensiveness of this submission, and it is in everything.

[42:01] It is comprehensive in all the circumstances and conditions of life, not just what you approve. Now, we know that the husband cannot force his wife to submit, and even if he tries, then there might be some form of external outward acquiescence, but she will resent him.

[42:23] The husband is not called to subject his wife. The wife is called to subject herself to the husband. The wife must willingly and cheerfully submit. If you are a wife and you have not been willingly and cheerfully submitting, or if you in the future find yourself in a situation where you do not willingly and cheerfully submit, you are called to repent, to see sin for what it is, to have a change of mind about it, and to turn from it.

[42:54] So just exactly how comprehensive is this? Does this mean that if a wife is cooking eggs for the family, then she needs her husband's approval of just exactly how many eggs are to be cooked for the family?

[43:07] Now as you remember from Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 woman didn't do nothing because the husband's the head. Rather, she did a lot.

[43:20] She does quite a lot for her family. Now here's the important thing. The important thing to remember is that it's done in a posture of submission. It's done in a posture of being willing to come under the ordered authority that God has designed for the household.

[43:34] So ideally, as a part of the husband's management of the house, there's an understanding and agreement of the wife's role and how she contributes under that authority and that may very well be deciding how many eggs are to be cooked for breakfast.

[43:54] But if in what seems like small details, if it is important to the husband and it comes to a situation, I ideally, there would be communication and bringing the wife along and explanation.

[44:09] But the wife should be in a posture of submission to her husband's leadership. So husbands, knowing this, husbands don't want to arbitrarily do something like say, you need my permission to how many eggs you cook for no reason other than the fact that they want to flex that they're the head.

[44:30] headship is not because you're the man. Headship is because, well, it is because you're the man, but because not of who you are. It is not because of your intrinsic abilities.

[44:42] It's because God has ordained for the husband to be the head. So it's not your authority, rather it's God's authority delegated to you as the husband and is not to be abused.

[44:53] everything is to be done in a posture of willing and cheerful submission, looking to headship and leadership with a willingness to conform to his will.

[45:08] So it says everything. The comprehensiveness of it is in everything. Does that mean in everything, even in sin? Remember where this authority comes from. The husband's authority is delegated by God.

[45:21] So the husband's authority, the husband's delegated authority, does not trump God's authority. It does not trump God's authority, but it submits to it. Just as wives are to submit to their own husbands, so also husbands are to submit to Christ.

[45:39] The wife must not submit when the husband wants her to sin. So for example, if the husband, perhaps the wife is saved and the husband is not saved and the husband forbids her to go to church.

[45:55] If he will not allow her to attend church, she must obey God rather than man. Or another example, if he orders her to prostitute herself on the internet, she must obey God rather than man.

[46:08] The husband's headship is delegated authority from God. It doesn't trump God's authority. So, some concluding uses. Now kids, if you remember, we talked about how sometimes you might use code and the words in the code that you make up are signs that signify something else.

[46:30] So also, our language fails us. Our language fails us to explain God exactly how he is in a comprehensive manner.

[46:41] So, we have in the Bible, analogical language because we as creatures can't relate to what it means to be an eternal, infinite, omnipotent God.

[46:52] So, God uses words that we understand analogically to help us understand. Analogical language is used to portray a picture.

[47:06] God accommodates us. He accommodates us with analogical language. And as such, here in our text, we have analogical language to show us the relation of Christ and the church, to help us to understand the relation of Christ and the church.

[47:22] It is far greater, far more beautiful, but far more glorious than our creaturely finite understanding can comprehend or to what we can relate to. So, this is an analogy.

[47:33] It is not univocal. It is not one-to-one. It is not exactly how a husband and wife are, it is exactly how Christ and the church is. It is analogical to portray a picture.

[47:47] The words are signs that point to that which they signify. So, also, we'd be talking about Christ as head of the church.

[48:00] But is Christ your head? Does this make sense to you, or is it something that is foreign? If Christ is not your head, we saw in our text, we saw Christ as head of the church, that Christ is the savior of the body.

[48:17] That is, he's the savior of the body of Christ. So, for this illustration to work, for this analogy to work, we must truly understand Christ as head over the body of Christ.

[48:31] So, is Christ your head? Do you look to Christ or are you seeking your own will with disregard for Christ? Sin is a desire for self-autonomy.

[48:42] Sin is desiring to be autonomous to God. Sin is not coming under the headship of Christ. Now, we all, because of the fall, because of the curse, are sinful.

[48:53] None of us merit God's favor, but rather, because of sin, deserve condemnation and wrath. which is why, as we read in verse 1, the second person of the Trinity, the Son of God, the Word of God, the wisdom of God, took to himself a body, and in our nature, assuming our nature, did what we couldn't do, lived a perfectly righteous life, which is required to be in a right standing before God, and he also did what was necessary to make right what we did, that is, to pay our debt, to satisfy divine justice, to pay the price for our sin, to pay our ransom price.

[49:36] And this work of redemption, while we see it objectively through these verses about how God saves sinners, in chapter 2 of Ephesians, it shows us how it works out subjectively, how those who are sinners are made new and rest on the Lord Jesus Christ, who receive Jesus Christ, instead of seeking to gain merit by our owner, instead of even just rebelling against God, but looking to the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation.

[50:10] Look to the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. So wives, remember that God's good and blessed order for wives is to willingly and cheerfully subject yourself to your own husbands in everything, showing respect with the pure conduct and a quiet and gentle heart.

[50:32] And this is obedience to God. And it illustrates the joy of the church coming under Christ's head. To help further explain this, Titus 2, 2-5 says, be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

[51:10] So we see here that by God's good design of wives submitting to their husbands, they have the ability to either blaspheme the word of God or to not blaspheme the word of God.

[51:24] Furthermore, for wives, remember that your husband is called to lead, provide, protect, love, and to nourish. This is a good thing, and this is a good thing for wives to desire.

[51:35] So wives, indeed, should desire God's will and God's order for your husband, and as such, remember to pray for your husband. Remember to pray for your husband to support him and honor him in his calling, which is a very weighty calling as head of the home.

[51:51] Remembering that sin is crouching at the door, but you must rule over it. For the girls who are unmarried, prepare yourselves now to be a godly wife.

[52:04] See what God calls wives to be, and start to prepare yourselves now for how you can be a godly wife to a godly man. Understand the relation of the church under Christ.

[52:17] Also, the exercise of biblical submission to authorities. This flows out of the moral principle of the fifth commandment, of the submission to lawful authorities.

[52:31] Obstinency towards parental authority now will carry over into obstinacy against marital authority. So prepare yourself now to be a godly wife, but more importantly, understand the relation of the church under Christ.

[52:49] Unmarried boys, seek to understand what a biblical wife is, what is beautiful in the eyes of God, and seek, when you're ready, far down the road, seek that for a potential life companion.

[53:09] For husbands, acknowledge that it is hard enough, because of the curse, it is hard enough for wives living in this incursed world to submit to their husbands.

[53:22] So let's not make it any harder than it already is. Lead in a way that increases her desire to submit and to follow and to obey God. Ephesians 5, 22.

[53:35] Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything.

[53:54] Almighty God, we thank you that you who created us, that you designed marriage, that you designed marriage to be a picture of Christ and the church. We thank you for the relationship of Christ and the church and how we seek to subject ourselves to Christ's will.

[54:08] We thank you, our Lord Jesus Christ, that you protect us, that you provide for us, that you love us, that you nourish us, that you care for us, and that you lead us. I pray that we all who are in the body of Christ, that we would indeed joyfully and willingly and heartily subject ourselves to you and follow your will.

[54:29] Pray for the wives that they would desire your will, that they would desire the blessings that come from doing your will, and that as such, they would desire to come under their husband's headship.

[54:43] Pray for all the husbands that they would seek to take this weighty responsibility, indeed very soberly, and to seek to glorify you in this delegated authority.

[54:57] We pray for those who are unmarried, that you would show the beauty of the relationship of Christ in the church, and the importance of finding a life companion, who that marriage will be a picture of this beautiful relationship, and a glorious relationship that our creaturely experience cannot relate to, and which our language cannot explain, and which our finite minds cannot comprehend.

[55:27] And we pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. We'll stand and sing Gloria.