[0:00] Amen. How many of you can say the longer you serve to him, the sweeter he grows? Amen. That was fantastic. I love the first line. It says that by life he now controls.
[0:11] And that should be what every one of us want as believers, is a life controlled by the Spirit of God and by him. So we're going to look here at the third point. We're looking at Proverbs chapter number 15.
[0:24] If you'll join me in Proverbs 15, and we'll look at the third of the points that we're looking at last Sunday night. Love the message on Judas Iscariot. Love the application to his life. Very helpful.
[0:38] What I remember most about being a teenager in church, when Judas was brought up, it was always the argument, could Judas have been saved? And the answer was, yes, Judas could have been saved because all people could be saved.
[0:50] But was Judas saved? No, it does not appear that Judas was saved. And Ben brought up something that I never noticed before, which was the way that he viewed Jesus on the night he betrayed him as just a man.
[1:03] Never thought about that before. No, in Jesus' prayer in John 17, it says that the son of perdition and that Judas was the fulfillment of prophecies, like the one in Psalm 109 that says his days would be few and that it's talking about betraying him.
[1:19] But the argument always came down to this, how, well, why can't Judas be saved? Because Peter messed up, and so why couldn't Judas mess up? And you saw Peter denying Jesus, and Judas betrayed Jesus, but the different views between those two men, right?
[1:33] As we go back to our message this morning, when Peter denies, when he doesn't want to build his life upon the rock, when he wants to do something different, there's that conviction in his life where he feels a guilt, that looking at, not sorrow for his actions only, but he looks at the face of Jesus, and there's this brokenness that is there.
[1:52] Revelation 21.8 would tell us that people that are liars have their place in the devil's hell, are whoremongers and a long list of people. But that wasn't who he was. Peter was not a denier.
[2:03] He was a Christian who denied the Lord and repented of that. But Judas will go down in history as a traitor. That's who he was fundamentally. He was not a follower of Jesus, but he was a masquerade, as Ben had said.
[2:17] So tonight we'll look at the topic of anger. If you are an angry person, an angry man, an angry woman, if that is what controls you all times, then there's a sign that the Holy Spirit does not indwell you.
[2:29] But all of us get to the point where we are not guided by the Holy Spirit, and we let anger take over in our lives. And just like Peter, we look at that and say, that is my sin, that's before me, and we repent of it.
[2:43] So last week we said this is remodeling your home, trying to look at it in the context of what it would look like in our home. I said, I need a kitchen in my home. That's one thing that I've learned, all right? I also need tacos in my life.
[2:54] That's something I learned this week as well, that I made that need both of those. And so in my home, we need a kitchen. But I also said the Bible, looking at the first passages, let me read it to you. We're going to read Proverbs 15, 13 through 22, looking at three things that we want to have in our home.
[3:09] A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. A good countenance make it possible by merry hearts. We want a good countenance in our home.
[3:20] We want to see people smiling. We want to see people happy. We want people feeling all the emotions that are supposed to be felt because their heart is in the right place. The doctor asked me a couple weeks ago, and she said, do you ever deal with depression or sadness?
[3:37] I said, ma'am, I work at a church. I feel every emotion every day. We were going yesterday to be with Daniel and Mika, and let's continue to pray for his family.
[3:49] And I pray especially for Daniel. I don't know where he went, but let's pray for him, God's guidance in his family during this time, and that God would use him to minister. But we're going to a funeral while talking to Ashley about a wedding.
[4:00] And so I say, ma'am, we feel all the emotions at all the times, and you should. As a Christian, it's healthy. It's healthy to feel all the emotions. But if you can't have a happy heart, you can't have a happy countenance, if there's always stress, if there's always fighting, we need to remodel our homes so that there can be happiness, not just the sorrow of heart.
[4:20] Verse 14, The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge, but the mouth of fools feed us on foolishness. All the days of the afflicted are evil, but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.
[4:33] Verse 16, Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith. Better is the dinner of herbs where is love than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. It's better to have a side salad than it is to have the flame mignon when you're content, which is godly contentment that protects us from great sorrow.
[4:52] When we're not content, we're inviting all kinds of sorrows into our home and all kinds of sorrows into our lives. It goes back to the garden, that everything, but they reach the one thing that wasn't permitted to them, and that's what sin always looks like.
[5:04] When you're not satisfied in Jesus with what you have and you reach out for more, that is where sin is going to be found. So where does it start before you reach? It starts in your heart, that lack of contentment.
[5:18] And then we get to verse 18, A wrathful man stirreth up strife, but is slow the anger, appease the strife. The way of a slothful man is a hedge of thorns, but the way of the righteous is made plain. A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish man despides his mother.
[5:31] Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom, but a man of understanding walketh uprightly. Without counsel, purposes are disappointed, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.
[5:42] So that a wrathful man stirreth up strife, but that he is that is slow the anger, appease the strife. So that brings us to the third one, is that we needed a guided constraint from anger by God's wisdom.
[5:56] God's wisdom helps us keep our emotions where they belong. They stir up strife. We don't talk much like that, do we? You don't use the word strife. Hopefully, we're Bible people, so we use Bible language, so hopefully we use certain vocabulary that maybe other people wouldn't, but you don't often have people say, I just really didn't want a strife in my life right now, right?
[6:18] How do we say it? We say, I have anxiety, I have stress, but we've replaced this in our lives with other words, but a wrathful man stirreth up strife, where there's anxiety, frustration, and stress.
[6:31] So first of all, we need to look at anger and realize that anger is a judging emotion, is a deeply felt response when something is wrong.
[6:42] And so anger can be love in motion to deal with a threat to someone or something we truly care about. In many ways, it can be right. I failed to bring it, but I love this letter written by William Wilberforce about how he had just an anger about the slave trade in England and how he looked at it and he believed that God had called him to such a time as this.
[7:03] There would be so many injustices in this world if you never became angry towards it, if anger never moved people to it. The question isn't who gets angry, but why do all of us get angry?
[7:16] So anger is a judging emotion, a deeply felt response to what is wrong. There's a real problem in here. If you're always angry, that's a problem. If you're never angry, that's probably also a problem because there's a lot of injustices in this world that ought to stir things up to you.
[7:32] If you're in your driveway and the neighbor comes flying down 60 miles an hour and almost hits one of the neighbor kids, a response ought to be, that's not right. All right. And then you go get Karen with HOA and you go talk to them.
[7:46] All right. And you say, sir, you cannot drive like this. All right. It ought to move you to some type of action and to say, this ain't going to work, buddy. I got kids that are playing out here.
[7:56] But that emotion that you would have, which ought to be move you to action, ought to be resolved. And you ought to calm down before you go and talk to the man. And you ought to have a real sorrow for what he's doing and the real danger that is there.
[8:10] And so we need to understand, we need to analyze our anger. God gets angry in Aham 1-2. God is jealous. The Lord revenges. The Lord revenges and is furious. The Lord will take vengeance on his adversaries and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.
[8:24] Jesus got angry. Mark 3-5. And when he had looked round about them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, analyzed what was the reason for his anger? Grieved for the hardness of their hearts.
[8:35] He saith unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. Action. And he stretched it out and his hand was restored whole as the other. Jesus was angry. He was grieved at the hardness of heart because the hardness of heart in people was going to be harmful to them and hurtful for them.
[8:54] It was going to separate them from the kingdom. It was causing other people to be harmed. And so the anger there moved him to action. So the question that you could ask yourself, if you want to write this down, it is, What am I loving so much right now that my heart is moved to feel angry?
[9:11] What am I loving so much right now that my heart is moved to feel angry? That's the question you ought to ask yourself when you're angered, is I love the kids in my neighborhood, so you're not going to get to drive 60 miles per hour without me telling you that's wrong.
[9:26] What is my love towards? My love's towards kids and them not being hurt. It's a simple question that you ought to be asking all the time. Is it your ego that's hurt? Is it you that's being hurt? And if it is, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have the conversation, but you need to identify it.
[9:41] You ever notice a lot of times emotions just kind of float around? You ever feel that? You just wake up and you're like, I feel something, but I don't know why I feel it. That shouldn't be the case. We need to say, search my heart, oh God. Help me analyze this.
[9:53] Why do I feel the way that I'm feeling? What's going on in my heart right now? And unlike God, when we get angry, we can corrupt it. God never corrupts His anger.
[10:04] It is always pure. It is always right. It is always for His glory and for our good. But unlike Him, we often corrupt the anger that we have. So we need to feel a sorrow for sin and not an excitement for a chance to respond.
[10:21] A sorrow for sin and not an excitement for a chance to respond. T. Wayne, man, I hope you don't mind. Here we go. All right. We were, they're getting ready to get married and we just had some premarital counseling and we're talking about how to, how to disagree in an argument.
[10:36] And I told them, how often when I go into an argument, the only thing that I'm worried about is am I right? That's all that matters, right? Is am I right? But that isn't the only thing that matters when you go into an argument or a debate.
[10:49] There's a lot of other things that need to be done. Checking your blood pressure, checking the way you're going to speak. There's a lot of things that you need to do, prepare for that. And one of those would be, do you feel sorrow for the sin or do you feel an excitement to respond?
[11:04] If you feel an excitement to respond and no sorrow for the sin, then you're not in a place to address the issue. I never liked that neighbor anyway. He got that new sports car and he's always driving too fast and I cannot wait to put him in his place, all right?
[11:18] And if that's the case, then I'm in no position to go and talk to him. But if I would say, sir, could you imagine if you were to hit that? I didn't plan to tell this story, but I've always wanted to be liked at Camp Ministries, David Dubois.
[11:31] This is about the wilds, all right? I know you guys love the wilds. And so I loved, when I was a kid, I worked at Bill Rice Ranch and they asked me to work there and I wanted to be like the poster child at camp. Well, last time at orientation that was at the wilds, I thought it would be funny and if I took my son's electric scooter and I rode it into the auditorium before I spoke, all right?
[11:51] I just thought this is a great chance, a grand entrance. I've never rode a scooter up to the pulpit to preach. This is gonna be great, all right? And so there I go. It's not a church auditorium, it's just a gymnasium, okay?
[12:03] Get on board, people. It's funny, okay? And so here I am, I'm riding the scooter and I ride it into the building and I see the director. I'm like, this is a bad idea. And I go out the side door just like a kid and he comes to me and he says, so Trent, do you really believe that that was the best decision that you could have made?
[12:23] Do you believe with all the kids watching that you should have rolled the scooter? I'm like, just hit me, man. Just yell at me. Like, this is not going to work for me. And then the next day we do something goofy and he just looks at me and he shakes his head.
[12:37] And before we leave, I just continued to mess up in front of that guy's eyes. But when he came to me, he wasn't angry, he wasn't upset. He just said, do you want to consider, should you really be riding a scooter as a grown adult into an auditorium?
[12:51] And I'm like, well, when you say it like that, sir, it sounds so much different than what I was thinking I was doing. And so he really didn't, he wasn't mad at me.
[13:01] There was no anger there. He was just talking about objectively, this is not a good idea. It was, he was a Christian gentleman. And wrath is not a friend to our home. And so it is not going to help.
[13:11] The wrath of man, James 1.20, the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Most of you have seen when people have seen to use anger as a super strength. My anger can get my kids to clean their room every time, but it also makes them want to leave their room as soon as possible.
[13:27] It makes them want to leave the house as soon as possible. So getting things done by anger is not a sustainable method. That is not what needs to be done.
[13:38] It's a quick fix and it's not a friend to your home. The wrath is not a friend to your home. And so what should Christian anger look like? Ephesians 4.26, 27, be you angry and sin not.
[13:49] Command of the Lord is to be angry, but to sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil. So here's a couple ways. One, do you angry without sin?
[13:59] It can be possible and it's commanded from the Lord. A Christian anger doesn't create people around you that want to take up rioting, but it gathers allies for God's glory is to say, here is a problem, I have a discontentment and I want to do something about it.
[14:15] The feelings that Greg talks about when he comes back from Atlanta and when he first saw that it was a mixture of sorrow and just anger that people are being treated in the way that they're being treated and a false gospel being given.
[14:27] And so it creates this holy discontent. And what does that do? It gathers allies for God's glory. It makes you an advocate for a cause. Anger without a grudge, ready to restore peace.
[14:40] Not wanting to put it off until the sun goes down, just saying, I'm ready to restore. Anger without a grudge. Anger that knows the devil's strategy and avoids them. Giving no place to the devil. I know what Satan wants to do.
[14:53] When Satan recognizes he's not omnipresent as God is, but he probably has some kind of notification on his phone and he says, Trent is angry. This is a great time to get involved with him because that guy makes a lot of bad decisions when he's angry and so he gets the notification that I'm angry and he comes and says, let's mess up something, all right?
[15:15] Let's destroy something right now. And so I should be wise about that. I should be aware of what Satan does that when I get angry I should see from past patterns of sin and recognize it in my life and say, that's not what is going to happen here.
[15:29] Move slowly when we are angry. Proverbs 14, 17, he that is soon angry dealeth fulllessly and a man of wicked devices is hated. Don't trust your decisions at those times.
[15:41] Calm down. If a decision doesn't have to be made at that time, recognize, I am not filled with the Spirit. I'm not in a place to make decisions. Just like a person, I would never want to be filled with wine.
[15:52] I'd never want to be drunk because my kids or you may need me and I wouldn't want to say I'm not able to make a wise decision right now because my body is controlled by something that it shouldn't be. The same thing could be true.
[16:03] Allowing anger to control me makes me in no position to pray for you, to care for you, to make any wise decisions. So move slowly. Put yourself in time out, people, all right?
[16:13] Stop putting your kids in time out. You go spend some time in time out. Or Stephanie would say, drink your cup of hot chocolate, all right? Which is something she learns. So I get my cup, oh, this is a cup of hot chocolate and I breathe on my cup of hot chocolate and I drink my cup of hot chocolate and those breathing exercises.
[16:31] So I either pass out from breathing too much, all right? And that gives me a chance to calm down or I get my blood pressure to calm down, all right? So if y'all ever see me and Stephanie, I'm doing this and Stephanie's making me drink my hot chocolate, all right?
[16:45] Adrian Rogers, here's a story from him, he said, I heard of a man pushing a baby carriage and he said, easy Harold, easy Harold, that's a boy, Harold, you're doing fine, Harold. And somebody said, oh, it's just wonderful that you're so patient with little Harold.
[16:59] And the man said, oh no, he's Albert, I'm Harold. Easy Harold, learn to control that speech, taking care of the baby. Sometimes the emotions come up. And so, in the few minutes we have remaining, those of you that feel like you're off the hook because you say, I don't get angry, I just get irritated sometimes.
[17:20] Well, welcome on board, people. I'm not letting you off the hook either, okay? Not just angry, but getting irritated. Here's some lessons. Being that we live as a broken person without Jesus and a broken world among broken people, being irritated is inevitable.
[17:38] Man, don't tell anybody, but there's a lot of really goofy people out there, all right? I mean, when you pull out here in a second, somebody may cut you off. You go somewhere and you ask them to make change for $5, you're going to be there a while sometimes, all right?
[17:50] There's a lot of reasons to be irritated. Have you ever flown before? All right? There is just a lot of reasons around us constantly to be irritated at all times.
[18:01] And so, I want to tell you that it isn't inevitably irritated, but what is inevitable that there's going to be times you're going to be irritated, but what isn't inevitable it should be is a godly response.
[18:13] Proverbs 12, 16, a fool's wrath is presently known, but a prudent man covereth shame. Allowing people to know that you're irritated is not a badge of honor.
[18:24] I'm so guilty of that. Letting people know I'm irritated with the situation to say, yeah, this person messed up and I'm irritated too with them. I'm not like this person, I'm like you. That shouldn't be known.
[18:35] People shouldn't know that you're feeling that irritation to speak slowly and to not say what doesn't need to be said. Ecclesiastes 7, 9, Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry, for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
[18:55] Anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Anger lodges in the heart of fools. But it just feels so good. It just feels so right.
[19:08] But the Bible says that anger lives in the heart of a fool. It doesn't just come in and visit and move you to anger and move you to action to help somebody. But if it lives there, the only way it can live there is because you're living, you're allowing it to live rent-free in your heart and that is foolish.
[19:24] So here's some weapons that recognize that you can use against irritation. Writing to believers in Corinth, Apostle Paul speaks about this dynamic in the language of warfare. 2 Corinthians 10, 4 and 5.
[19:36] For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God and bringeth in captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
[19:52] And so here we have some weapons that we can recognize in our lives. The casting down of imaginations, the gathering of our thoughts and recognizing the strongholds. And another portion it says, 2 Corinthians 1, 24, not for that we have dominion of your faith but are helpers of your joy for by faith ye stand.
[20:12] That we can be helpers of another person's joy. When you're helping somebody that's angry and not thinking biblically, if you're a helper of their joy, you're going to help them set down those thoughts.
[20:23] You're going to help them grab things in captivity. You're not going to add fuel to the fire but you're going to help them. I mentioned this to my life group today but one of the ways that I was so encouraged and so blessed in Mexico, I got to see one of the churches there, enjoy the time with youth pastors but Jonathan Anderson sat down with me and just looked me in the eye and he encouraged me to think biblically, he encouraged me with scripture, he encouraged me from God's word and I just thought, man, this is a guy that has a heart of a pastor and I'm so grateful that the people in this city have a person that will sit down with them and he was a helper of their joy.
[21:04] When Benjamin would lead those songs, people were just crying and they were recording it and they were just loving singing those songs and the reason is Rebecca and Jonathan met some people that didn't have joy but helped them find their joy and now helped them keep it and it was so beautiful.
[21:21] Listen to how Paul speaks in 2 Corinthians 2, 4 and 5, the words of God, For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears. This is Paul speaking through inspiration that God used the apostle Paul and when he wrote unto him he wrote with many tears, Not that you should be grieved but that you might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.
[21:42] But if any have caused grief he has not grieved me but in part that I may not overcharge you all. Paul was writing to them, he was expressing, he says, Don't have affliction, don't have anguish of heart.
[21:53] I want to write to you and I want you to know that you are loved. I want you to know that the God loves you and I want you to think about these causes of grief. So irritation has some ugly siblings.
[22:04] Aggregation, grumpiness, self-pity, resentment, bitterness and so many other things. So here's three things that we're going to look at, some weapons that we can use against irritation, a form of anger.
[22:18] Pulling down of the strongholds. I wish it was said that these were loose holds or episodic every now and then but that isn't what they're called. They're called strongholds. The truth is that bad attitudes often reveal that something or someone has more power over our hearts than the glory and the grace of God.
[22:36] Some expression of a stronghold of self-idolatry is on display. That stronghold in your life is an opportunity for you to see that there is an idol, there's something in your heart that you're loving over the glory of God and that's why it's brought a hold of you.
[22:53] And so what has caused you to love your joy? So in Galatians 4.15, wherein is, where is then the blessedness you spake of? For I bear you record that if it hath been possible you would have plucked out your eyes and have given them to me.
[23:07] So the question is where is this blessedness that you spake of? It would be very fitting for my wife and kids to say that to me. Hey dad, where is this blessedness that you spoke about?
[23:17] You did such a great job telling that church about having joy and being a helper of joy. Where is that blessedness that you spake of when you lost your keys? When you have to reset the password on your computer every five days and it can't be the same password that you used for the last seven times because you really don't want anybody on your computer playing solitaire or getting your sermons.
[23:37] I don't even know why I have a password on my computer. And so what is it that irritates you? Information that kids withhold from you when you're asking them questions or stepping on Legos. That's a big one in my life, alright?
[23:49] And so the question is what is this that blessedness that you spake of? Where is that joy that you're supposed to have? When the feelings of irritation arise we should have named them and they seem less significant when named and compared to the name of Jesus.
[24:04] Analyze. Why am I irritated? Why am I angry? Put it in a sentence form. Give it a name and then write it down beside another name which is Jesus and let it get into the proper size that it belongs.
[24:17] Cast down imaginations. Certain thoughts need to be exposed and destroyed not ignored or coddled. In context Paul is talking about false teachers who came into the church of Corinth but all thinking that contradicts the gospel falls under this same judgment which is this.
[24:33] I've earned the right to an uninterrupted manageable and hassle free life. If people would just do their jobs and be responsible my life would be easier. If the kids would just pick up their toys in the front yard my yard would look great.
[24:45] Alright? If my wife only knew the day that I had what might list of vain imaginations do you have that I deserve this and people aren't meaning what of that? That is a vain imagination and it's not true.
[24:57] You do not deserve a hassle free life. You do not deserve that everything turns out great for you. That is a vain imagination and it needs to be pulled down. The strongest example I've ever heard of this was John Wilkerson and his family talking about how they imagined their son who passed away at 17 and how many times they would sit and they would think about he would be graduating now he would be married now and those moments felt good to think about but he said those weren't moments that God ever gave to him.
[25:23] That was never God's plan for their son. So even though it felt good in the moment those imaginations needed to be taken down because they weren't God's plan. And so you need to ask yourself what is this imagination that I have that makes me so irritated and say I have no right to that.
[25:37] I'm a servant. That's all that I am. I have no right to expect any of these things. And then lastly bring thoughts into captivity. Every thought to the obedience of Christ. So how should it be captured?
[25:49] By the obedience of Christ. We will forget to be irritated to the extent that we're remembering Jesus. Remember reconnected to Jesus our union with him staying in communion with him.
[26:03] Our ultimate goal is not being less irritated but being more like Jesus. It isn't a promise to do better but the commitment to repent quicker. The more we're remembering Jesus our repentance won't be fewer but quicker and more joyful.
[26:18] And so what do you need to remember about Jesus when you're tempted or irritated? And once again it helps to name those truths. Why am I angry right now? What is it I'm loving so much that I'm irritated by?
[26:30] Is it justified? Is it analyzed? What actions do I need to take? What are my expectations? Is this a vain imagination that I need to take down in my life? And in closing I just want to remind you how this can be a family event.
[26:44] Now in order for your family to have this wisdom the family has to come together in a family council. Proverbs 15 22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed but in the multitude of counselors they are established.
[26:57] Without counsel purposes are disappointed. That contentment that we all desire so much in our lives it's not going to happen unless there's intentionality in our homes.
[27:08] The contentment that's given there or this controlling of our anger that is going to be there or that heart that countenance we're about to have it doesn't just happen because I want that.
[27:19] How does it happen? It happens by sitting down as a family and having counsel and purposes and have a multitude of counselors. We should be the multitude of counselors for our kids and for one another.
[27:32] In Proverbs 6 2 and 22 Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it but the instruction of fools is folly. God's word is giving us so much to live by the night.
[27:43] It is so wonderful. It is so helpful. We want to build our lives on it. So ask yourself tonight how are we doing in those areas? How are we leading in those areas? Let God analyze your heart.
[27:54] Let him examine it and speak to him. I want to pray give you a moment to pray there in your seat and we'll close the night with singing a song together but I just want to give you plenty of time tonight as Audrey comes and plays the piano I'm going to give you a couple minutes here just to pray unto the Lord and ask him to look at your heart in this area.
[28:16] Are you being controlled by anger or by wisdom? And ask him to help you identify these areas. If you're irritated often have him identify to you what it is and pull down the vain imaginations that may be hurting you.
[28:30] Heavenly Father I ask that you would be with us tonight Lord searching my heart Lord I want this to be a staple of my home is these three areas Lord and do not what anger to be driving force in our home but I want a home of peace and contentment a home Lord that when we are angered it's by good things or things that we can do for your honor and for your glory.
[28:54] Heavenly Father I pray to be with every brother and sister in this room tonight Lord as they allow you to search their heart.