[0:00] Wow, what a great place to be. I heard of this ministry through missionaries that came through our church that we now support. And I'm thrilled to be able to be here tonight.
[0:10] I want you to take your Bibles and turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 7. You know, I have a burden for families. I grew up in a family that was quite dysfunctional.
[0:22] I was talking to your pastor about my background this morning or this afternoon when we were eating. My background is people say, well, you have such a strong family.
[0:33] You must come from good, solid roots. My dad was an immigrant from Lebanon. When he was 11 years old, his father was taken by the Turks and forced to serve in World War I.
[0:49] That same year, his mother died, he would say, of a broken heart. He had a younger brother and a younger sister. He had to raise them. He had to try to raise them. And he tried that for two years until he was 13 years old.
[1:02] Then he farmed off my uncle to somebody that lived there in Lebanon. He farmed off my aunt to somebody who moved to Australia.
[1:13] And he hopped aboard an Italian freighter and somehow worked his way to America. I don't know whether he was a legal immigrant or an illegal immigrant.
[1:23] But from what I understand, he raised himself on the streets of New York City. Somewhat like the Newsies, if you've ever seen that carnal movie.
[1:34] And so he raised himself on the streets. He did not have a whole lot of background in anything. He wound up being married three or four times before he finally married my wife.
[1:50] Or not my wife. Got to get that straight. New story. New story. Anyway, he finally married.
[2:05] He actually went to Pennsylvania. Got my mother, who was married to another man who was a drunk and was abusive to her and to my older siblings.
[2:16] Went out to Las Vegas, Nevada. People say, how did you wind up in Las Vegas, Nevada? This is how I wound up in Las Vegas, Nevada. He took her to Nevada because back then you could get a divorce if you lived in Nevada for six weeks and you were a citizen of Nevada.
[2:34] And so he moved to New York or to Las Vegas. By the way, isn't it interesting? There's one of you missionaries are missionaries to food. I thought that was fascinating.
[2:45] I just heard about the food and I thought, man, I'd like to go there. Anyway, he moved to Nevada and they were supposed to live in separate domiciles for six weeks.
[2:58] Then they could get a divorce and they got married. That's how my mom and dad got married. That's my background. And then when my dad was older, when I was born, it was five years later that I was born.
[3:12] I was the last of a whole tribe of us. And when I was born, my dad lived for 10 years. He died when I was 10 years old.
[3:23] So I was raised by a single mother, child of an immigrant. But this happened. This is an amazing thing. Right before I was born, sometime a year or so before I was born, my mom and dad got saved.
[3:38] God changed their lives. So even though I only knew my dad for 10 years, I knew a Christian daddy. And he told me he loved me and he made sure that I went to church.
[3:50] And my mom went to church. Now, they didn't go to a good, solid Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. But they went to, they did have me in church. So I went to church all my life. I tell people I went to church all my life, but nobody ever told me how I could know for sure I'm going to heaven.
[4:04] And so my burden is to tell people how they can know for sure they're going to heaven. I love this. I love what you're doing. Because your passion, your pastor's passion, is to tell people the gospel of Jesus Christ.
[4:15] I went to church and I thought, man, as I grew up, I thought, boy, I want to have a real family. I want a real family.
[4:26] I want to be a dad. And I want to have a wife that's a mom. And we want to raise our kids for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. I just want to have that kind of stable family that I would see in other families or I would see, used to be on television, that I would see other places.
[4:46] But I didn't ever have it myself. And I wanted that. I wanted that kind of relationship. I wanted to have the right type of family. And by the grace of God, God allowed us to go to a Christian college.
[5:00] It's Liberty University now. It was Liberty Baptist College back then. And there were preachers and teachers there that focused on how to have a good godly family.
[5:13] There were preachers who were talking about principles and priorities. And how important it is that we live our lives by principles and priorities. Dr. Falwell himself said, listen, it's very easy when you get involved in ministry to get so burdened about everybody else, you forget about your primary disciple.
[5:33] And your number one disciple as a child of God, as a minister of Christ, is your wife. And you need to remember that. You need to remember that your number one relationship is that relationship with God.
[5:46] And you need to guard that. You need to spend time with God on a daily basis. And you need to remember how important it is that God's given you your first human priority is your spouse, your wife.
[6:01] Several years ago, when I only had two children, I have five children. Matthew is my oldest. He's the associate pastor of our church, the executive pastor of the church.
[6:14] I tell people he actually runs the church and lets me preach. My second son is Joshua Tice. He pastors another church that we started across town about 14 years ago.
[6:26] My oldest daughter is Charity. And she's married to one of the associate pastors of our church. Then we have my daughter, Faith. We have the fruits of the Spirit, Charity, Faith, and Hope.
[6:39] And in fact, for four years, we didn't have hope. We were hopeless. And then God gave us a wonderful Christian daughter. And so we have those three. Our daughters are all involved in ministry in one fashion or another.
[6:52] And we're so thankful for what God has given to us. And day after day, God's given us the beauty of being able to watch our children grow up and live for the Lord Jesus Christ.
[7:04] And now I have 18 grandchildren. Now, I know it doesn't look. You think, oh, come on. You're only 32 or 35. But we have 18 wonderful grandchildren.
[7:16] They're all living for the Lord. And we're so thankful for what God has given to us. But I want you to understand this. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen by accident.
[7:26] Having a Christian family and having your kids turn out right is something that you as a believer must determine.
[7:37] My burden for my family was in my heart before I got married. And then when we got married, we wanted to have the right type of family.
[7:49] I remember my wife and I, when we moved back to Las Vegas, we went together out to a place called Lake Mead. And we stood standing on the shores of Lake Mead.
[7:59] We were looking out. And I said, honey, we've got to determine what our goals are. We've got to determine what our priorities are. And we prayed together about what God wanted us to do.
[8:11] We had heard this. You just need to go and burn out for Jesus. You need to give seven days a week, 24 hours a day to the ministry of Christ. If you're a pastor, you're a pastor 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
[8:24] That's true. But listen to me. You have to first pastor your family. We determined on that day, we determined, listen, we're not going to let our family fall apart for the sake of ministry.
[8:41] We're going to minister to each other first. And we're going to minister to our children together. They are going to be together. They are going to be our first priority.
[8:52] We made that determination. It was a year or so later, a couple of years later that I was at a men's conference and a preacher got up. And you've heard these stories.
[9:03] Preacher got up and he started talking about all the preacher's kids that had messed up. He started talking about this preacher's kid who was living for the devil.
[9:15] And this preacher's kid who had no ministry whatsoever. And this preacher who had lost his ministry because his children had gone to the devil. You could read the story of Billy Sunday and how he, on his deathbed, cried out to God and said, I've won the world and I've lost my family.
[9:36] I heard this preacher saying this at this men's conference and it broke my heart. And I thought, God, I don't want that to happen. But after the conference was over and everybody went away, I snuck away.
[9:50] It was at a camp. I snuck away to a little garden area that was out in that camp. And I got down on my knees and I said, God, I don't care.
[10:02] I don't care, God, if my family. I don't care if I never have a ministry. I don't care if nobody ever knows my name.
[10:13] I don't care if we have a tiny church for the rest of my life. I don't care if we never do anything else. God, I want to ask you to spare my family. I want to ask you that my children will live for you.
[10:24] I want Matthew to live for you. I want Joshua to live for you. God, if you give me any other children, I want them to live for you. And I stayed down there. I don't know if it was 20 minutes or two hours.
[10:37] And I begged God that you just let me to be focused on raising my children for the glory of God and help me to be the kind of husband I was supposed to be.
[10:47] My wife, Nora, had any kind of background on how to have the right type of family. We had to go to the word of God and listen to the preachers. And teachers on the Christian radio station and read books because we wanted to have the right type of family.
[11:04] Listen, let me say something to you. As we were raising our family, the devil would say to me, you're spending so much time with your kids, you're never going to make an impact on anything.
[11:16] You're spending so much time ministering to your children that you're never going to accomplish anything. You're never going to be a success. I had a friend of mine graduated the same year that I did.
[11:29] He went to a little town called Mebane, North Carolina. He started a church there the same year that I started a church. My wife and I made a commitment to do this. My wife and I made a commitment that we were going to take one day off a week.
[11:44] Every Monday I took off so that I could spend time with her. Remember, I pastored my wife first and I pastored my children and my wife together every Monday.
[11:55] You say, how do you pastor your wife? How do you pastor your children? Well, when you're pastoring your children, you get down on your, when they're very little, you get down on your hands and knees and you play horsey with them.
[12:05] And you play Legos and you, you beat them at Monopoly until they're big enough to conspire against you. And then they, my wife, my wife actually told my children this.
[12:18] She said, while we were playing Monopoly, children, don't believe a word your father says. I think that's wrong.
[12:29] But, and she's never repented. As far as I know, she's never been at the altar about that. And we, that's how you pastor your family. You spend time with them.
[12:41] We determined that we were going to take at least two weeks off on vacation just to spend time with each other. Because we wanted our relationship to be an example relationship.
[12:54] We wanted our family to be an example family. I went, I, Louis started in Mebane. I started in Las Vegas. A year after we started, we made that commitment to a two-week vacation.
[13:05] We came back out to the church that we had, we had been, we had ministered to while we were in college. We stopped in North Carolina. I said, hey, I want to go over and see Louis. I went over to see Louis.
[13:16] Our church was running about 40 or 50 people. Louis' church was running about 150. And man, it was going like wildfires. I said, man, this is amazing, Louis, what you're doing.
[13:28] This is terrific. Second year, I came back to the same church. His church is now running 250 to 300. Our church is running about 90 to 100 people.
[13:40] And he's going like crazy, working 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Louis said to me, and we were talking, I said, man, this is amazing. He said, yeah, we've just bought a piece of property, and we're about to build on that piece of property.
[13:55] And I said, well, that's great. I said, what, he looked at me, we're talking about family. He said, David, let me tell you something. He said, you're never going to build a ministry in Las Vegas.
[14:08] And I said, well, why do you say that? He said, because you play too much. He said, this is the second year you've been out here, and the church is only two years old, and you're out here on a vacation for the second year.
[14:20] He said, you take a day off every week to play with your kids. And he said, or at that time it was just one kid. And he said, you take a day off. He said, you're never going to do anything for God.
[14:31] He said, I've worked 70. He said, I'm burning out for Jesus. I said, well, what about your family? He said, God will take care of them. That is a lie from hell.
[14:43] God ordained you, mister, to take care of your family. I'll talk about that in just a minute. Now listen, I went back. I didn't go back the next year.
[14:54] I went back two years later. They were just about heading into their fifth anniversary. And when I went to the church, there was no Lewis. I said, what happened?
[15:05] The church, the building was built. There was a building built, or being built. They said, oh, you didn't hear. I said, no. Well, Lewis's wife left him. And the family is just blown apart.
[15:18] I said, what's Lewis doing? Well, he's a butcher in town. And he's known as the biggest womanizer and drunk in Mebane. I said, why did that happen?
[15:30] That happened because you don't do God's will your way. You do things God's way. It's been 43 years since we started Liberty Baptist Church.
[15:43] I'm going to tell you this. Now listen, people have told me throughout our ministry life, you can't spend that much time with your family. You can't do all that. I have friends who say, you are an absolute fanatic about the family I am.
[15:56] But I can tell you this. My sons and my daughters are doing more ministry now than I could ever have accomplished by myself.
[16:07] They are reaching hundreds of preachers around the world. They are doing things that my wife and I only dreamed about.
[16:18] My son Matthew is the president of an anti-abortion clinic in Las Vegas that is the largest anti-abortion clinic in the United States. Last year, 2,500 babies were saved from death, physical death.
[16:38] But here's the deal. First Choice Pregnancy Center doesn't focus just on saving babies. Everyone that calls is talked to about the Lord Jesus Christ.
[16:49] And of those 2,500 babies that were saved, there are over 2,000 of the mothers that trusted Christ as Lord the Savior. Can you say amen to that? Amen. That's exciting.
[17:00] I'm saying when we went to Las Vegas, we wanted to start a clinic to help save babies. But we couldn't because we didn't have the ability to do that. And so we just focused on our babies and our babies now are saving babies.
[17:15] Can I tell you this? You need to understand how important it is to focus on your family. I asked you to turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse 17.
[17:27] Very popular verse. I want you to see something here. 2 Corinthians chapter 5 says, Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he's a new creature. When you were born, you were born spiritually dead, separated from God, unable to communicate with God, separated from the God that created you.
[17:46] But when you got saved, the Bible tells us this, that God, when you said, Jesus, please save me, God the Son said to God the Father, send the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit was sent to come and live inside of you.
[17:59] And now you became spiritually alive and you are alive in Jesus Christ. You were born again of the Spirit. Now He lives inside of you. If any man be in Christ, he's a new creature.
[18:10] You are now made new. You are now made like Adam was at the beginning. When God created Adam and Eve, He created them to be His representatives in a physical universe.
[18:22] God created everything in six days. And at the end of the sixth day, He created man. Why? Because He wanted a physical representation of Himself in this physical universe that He created in Genesis chapter 1.
[18:37] So He creates man in His image and in His likeness so that the world has a representation of God. We know what happened in Genesis chapter 3. In Genesis chapter 3, Adam and Eve blow it.
[18:48] They become spiritually dead and they mar the image of God and they cannot represent God. And throughout the ages, there's no one to represent God. And then Jesus comes.
[18:59] And Jesus makes it possible. Jesus makes it possible for us through His death, burial, and resurrection. If we call on Jesus and ask Him to give us eternal life, then He gives us His Spirit.
[19:11] Our dead spirit comes to life. And now we're able to represent God in our lives. That's what we're doing. So the Bible says, God makes you a new creature. Old things are passed away.
[19:23] Behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God who has reconciled us unto Himself by Jesus Christ. And has given us the ministry of reconciliation. Now, keep that in mind and look at verse 20.
[19:35] It says, now then, we are ambassadors of Christ. We are now made able to represent Christ. Your whole purpose for existence is to represent Jesus Christ.
[19:46] That's why God called you. That's why God saved you. That's not just true of missionaries. That's true for every one of us. We are to represent Jesus Christ. That is why God made us.
[19:58] We are made new creatures in Christ so that we can represent the God that created the universe. That's our privilege. That's our honor. That's our responsibility.
[20:10] That's our obligation. We need to represent Jesus Christ. But we need not to just do that as individuals. But we need to understand our families are to represent Jesus Christ.
[20:25] We're to show to the world what Jesus Christ is like through our families. Let me read to you Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 31. It says, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife.
[20:38] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife. And they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[20:51] My relationship with my bride is to represent Jesus Christ. That's what we're here to do. That's why it's so important that you have the right relationship with your spouse.
[21:07] Because you are here to represent Jesus Christ. Now you know in this world today. There is. There is. They are so messed up.
[21:17] Nobody knows what the family is. That wasn't true in America 50 years ago. But today the world doesn't know. We've redefined the family.
[21:28] All my friends down at the bar. This is my family. My baseball team. I would like to be the Braves. This is my family.
[21:41] This is my family. This is my family. Or today we have a man out in Utah. I think his name is Warren Jupp.
[21:54] But I'm not sure. Jeffs. Warren Jeffs. He is the leader of the Reformed LDS movement. Latter Day Saints movement. He defines a family as this. One man and multiple wives.
[22:08] All the wives you can have. And as many children as you want to have. That is his definition of the family. We have Playboy magazine.
[22:18] That came onto the scene back in the 1950s. By a guy named Hugh Hefner. Who said. Hey. A man can be married to one woman.
[22:29] And look at any women he wants. That's okay. That's alright for the family. We have now the Supreme Court.
[22:39] Who says. A family can consist of. One man. One man. And one man. Or one woman. Or one woman.
[22:50] And now we have being pushed on our culture. We can have an it being married to an it. And that's what our culture is all about. You see. In this messed up culture.
[23:03] You need to understand. And it's so important that you indoctrinate your children with this truth. That though the world has messed up their definition of the family.
[23:15] You know the true definition of the family. You know the true definition of the family. Today I want to look at. I want you to see God's basic plan for the family.
[23:27] I want you to see God's basic plan. In Genesis chapter 2. God lays out. His basic plan for the family.
[23:37] We don't have to guess about it. We don't have to wonder about it. We can see God's basic plan. In Genesis chapter 2. Verse 18. The Bible says this.
[23:49] And the Lord God said. It's not good. Now catch this man. It's not good that man should be alone. Ladies you need to grab the hold of this too.
[24:00] I will make him and help. Meet for him. The word meet there means fit. I'm going to make something that is just fit for him.
[24:13] Therefore. For this reason. Shall a man leave his father and mother. And cleave unto his wife. And they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked. The man and his wife.
[24:24] And they were not ashamed. I want you to see here. God's plan. Doesn't matter what the world says. Doesn't matter what Hugh Hefner says. Doesn't matter what the reformed Bormans say. It doesn't matter what anybody else says.
[24:37] God's plan for marriage. Is one man. For one woman. One man. Let me say it this way. One man serving.
[24:48] One woman. For one lifetime. You say wait a minute. Where is it? What do you mean serving? We'll see that in just a moment. God's plan for the family. Is one man. Serving one woman.
[25:00] For one lifetime. Now look. A lot of times we get involved in things. We get involved in things. And we don't know what we're getting into.
[25:12] With marriage. It's a lot that way. Years ago. We live about four and a half hours. From Disneyland. And I like to have fun with my kids. One of the things we really focused on.
[25:23] Is having fun with our kids. So our kids would just think. Ministry is fun. And life is ministry. And ministry is life. And life is fun. If you're serving Jesus. So at least twice a year.
[25:34] Every year. We would take our kids down to Disneyland. And we would just spend the time. Once a year. I would take the teen department. Because when you're starting a church from scratch.
[25:45] And you would know this. You're everything. You're the youth director. You're the garbage disposal. You're the nursery director. You're the music director. You're the pastor.
[25:55] Well I was a youth director. And the pastor. And so I thought. If I got to put on both hats. I'm going to go to Disneyland. For free. At least once a year. By taking the youth department with me. And so I take the youth department.
[26:06] Then I'm. You know. I'm the shop. So they got to pay for me. And my family to go. And so. We would take them down. We would take the kids down to Disneyland. Well as my children were growing up.
[26:17] As Matthew was growing up. He's my oldest. He would see all the kids. Getting on the big rides. Particularly. Getting on Space Mountain. He saw the kids going on Space Mountain.
[26:27] Coming off Space Mountain. Saying. Oh it was so great. He said. I want to ride Space Mountain. I said. Son you're too short. You're. You're four years old. You're. You're not big. He said. I want to be like all the other teenagers. He was with the teenagers.
[26:38] So much. He thought he was one. And. So. At four years old. He said. I really want to go. On Space Mountain. I said. I said. Son you can't. Until you're big enough. And he said.
[26:48] Well how big is big. And I think it's 46 or 48 inches. You have to be. So what we did. Is we went home. After that Disneyland trip. And we marked. On the side wall. Between our kitchen. And our dining room.
[26:59] We marked. Where 46 inches was. So he could go. And check himself. And see. And so from time to time. He would go. And he would check. To see. How tall he was.
[27:09] One day. He comes running. Into the living room. He said. Daddy. Daddy. I'm big enough. I'm big enough. I said. What are you talking about? He said. I'm big enough to ride Space Mountain. Come and check. And sure enough. I went out there. And he had just.
[27:20] He just met the mark. He met the mark. And I said. Well that's great. He said. Where are we going? When are we going to go to Disneyland? And he started nagging me. When are we going to go? I mean. I hear it. And I thought. Okay. That's enough. We're going to go to Disneyland.
[27:31] So we used to. We used to. We know how to take. Every cheap trip. You can possibly take. And I had a preacher friend. Who pastored in Ontario, California. Which is about 45 minutes away.
[27:42] From Disneyland. And so we would drive down there. Spend the night. In his church pews. And then we'd get up. And clean up in his bathroom. This is cheap hotels. I know how to do this stuff.
[27:53] And so. So we would go there. And we would get cleaned up. And then we would go. To Disneyland. So that's what we did. We packed up. On Sunday night. And Matthew fell asleep. Saying. Oh I can't wait to ride Space Mountain.
[28:04] It wasn't Disneyland. I can't wait to ride Space Mountain. He nagged me all the way down there. And so. We got down. We got down there. We went to bed. The next morning. He said. Daddy. Can we ride Space Mountain first?
[28:15] Can we ride Space Mountain first? I said yes. So we. We got inside. We got through the turnstiles. Going into Disneyland. And Matt. Looks up and said. Can we go to Space Mountain? We're like the first or second people there.
[28:26] And I said sure. And so I grabbed his. I asked his. My wife. I said hey. Is it all right? And she said please. Leave. And so. So we ran. We ran all the way down.
[28:37] If you've been to Disney World. It's laid out a lot like Disneyland. Except much bigger. And so. We ran down Main Street. Ran all the way down to Main Street. When you get to the end of Main Street. You turn right.
[28:47] And we turn into. To Tomorrowland. Then we got up to where Space Mountain was. And when we got to Space Mountain. Matthew stood up. Next to the guy. And he said. And the guy said. You're tall enough.
[28:58] And boom. It was great. So we're the first people there. We run up these moving escalators. We run up there. Then we ran through. Where all the people were going to be standing in the lines. In a little while. We ran through all that.
[29:08] We got all the way inside. And we're running through the tunnels inside. Till we get to the big open area. And all of a sudden. We heard. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. And Matthew stopped. He looked around.
[29:21] And he thought. He said. Whoa. And so we slowly walked down. And we got in the very first rocket ship. We were the first people. In the first rocket ship. In the first seat. And we're sitting down there. And as we sit down.
[29:31] We put the lap bars down. And I look over and say. This is going to be exciting. Matthew doesn't say a word. He's just looking around. And pretty soon. Some people start coming. And they're lining up in the back seats.
[29:43] And people are getting in there. So. Oh. Oh. Wow. Wow. And nothing coming from this side of the cart. We got in the cart. And pretty soon.
[29:54] The guy. The guy in the window in front of us. Put his thumb up. Which meant. We could take off. And we take off. And stop. And then we'd make that turn. And started going up. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
[30:05] People are saying. Yes. Yes. Yes. Nothing. From this side. We finally got to the top. And took off. We're flying by comets.
[30:16] We're flying by stars. There's moons. It's just. Screaming and hollering and yelling. Everybody's excited. Finally come to the last turn. Come down. Make a scoop. Turn right.
[30:26] And boom. The lights are all flashing. And we come to a stop. The lap bars come up automatically. I look over at Matthew. And I said. Matthew. How did you like Space Mountain?
[30:39] He looked up at me and said. I would never take my child on a ride like that. I think sometimes people get married.
[30:53] And they look up at God and say. God. What kind of ride have you put me on? What in the world are you doing to me? I mean. I never expected this.
[31:04] So this isn't what I planned on. And the problem is. We have our own thoughts about what marriage should be. We don't understand that marriage is one man serving one woman for one lifetime.
[31:20] Now the Bible tells us very simply. That there's a couple very very basic principles about the husband and wife. One of the things is this. That you need to understand that we as husbands are to love our wives the way Christ loved the church.
[31:37] Now catch this. We're to love our wives the way Christ loved the church. What does that mean? Well he tells us. He gave himself for us. I have an entire session that I preach on this.
[31:50] Can't do it today. But I want you to see a couple of points from that session. Number one. I want you to see this. That loving your wife like Christ loves the church means an unconditional love.
[32:05] A sacrificial love. That love's not based on what it's getting in return. And as a husband. I am commanded to love my wife unconditionally.
[32:17] No matter how she treats me. I'm to put her thoughts above my own desires. I'm supposed to think about her above myself.
[32:28] Can I tell you this? Jesus left his father in heaven. The Bible says a man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.
[32:40] He left his father in heaven and was willing to separate. Allow that separation on the cross. So that we could be his.
[32:51] He came to this earth to get us. To take us back to heaven. Can I tell you this? That number two. Jesus came not to be served by the church.
[33:06] But to serve the church. Oftentimes men say well I worked all day long. I'm coming home. I expect the dinner on the table. I expect to be crowned king.
[33:17] You might get crowned. I'm the king of my castle. Listen. Here's the deal. You need to understand the Bible says. That when we get to heaven.
[33:28] That he's going to sit us down. At the marriage supper of the lamb. And catch this. He's not going to be served by the bride. But he's going to serve the bride.
[33:42] Ooh. I've had men say could you miss that point next time. I don't really want to hear about that. You're supposed to love your wife. The way Christ loves the church.
[33:53] That means you serve your wife. The Bible says this in heaven. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Now catch this man. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
[34:05] Will be servant of all. Jesus is going to serve us in heaven. Not expect us to serve him.
[34:16] Wow. How does a wife learn to be a servant? By watching her husband serve. Her husband that follows Jesus.
[34:29] Wow. Husbands love your wives. The way Christ loved the church. And gave himself for it. Wow. I need to love my wife unconditionally.
[34:43] I need to serve my wife unconditionally. Well you don't know what she's like. She's mouthy. She's everything. I have had men say this. By the way. There's a third point. When we talk about husbands loving their wives.
[34:56] I've had this happen. A preacher. I know you've had this happen to you. Preach. Somebody will come in and say. You know I'd be serving Jesus if it wasn't for my wife. I've got to drag her along. You know I'd be. Preacher.
[35:07] I'd have been here on time. But you know the old lady. What a terrible thing to say. Can I tell you this. That Jesus never allows you to be blamed for anything.
[35:20] Do you know he takes full responsibility for you. Do you know that when somebody comes to Jesus. To Jesus when the devil comes to the father and says. I caught Dave Tice. Jesus said wait a minute.
[35:31] Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. He's my advocate. Jesus says no no no. I did that. I took the blame. The Bible says he took our blame in our place.
[35:44] He died for my sins. He doesn't allow me to be accused. When the accuser comes to accuse me. He says oh no.
[35:55] It wasn't David. It was me. Wow. How are you doing at loving your wife? It's so easy. Well I would serve.
[36:06] You know I've got to do this. I've got to do that. Listen. You are the head of your home. And the head of your home means you're the head servant in the home.
[36:18] And it means you don't allow those within your home to take the blame. You take responsibility for what you allow in your home.
[36:31] Wow. You say man you don't know what my wife's like. I don't. But you chose her. And you have the responsibility to mentor her.
[36:42] And to disciple her. Husbands love your wife the way Christ loved the church. Unconditionally. Love her as a servant.
[36:52] Unconditionally. And love her. And love her. And don't allow others to blame her. You take the blame. By the way listen wives. Let me say this.
[37:03] The basic plan. God. God's plan for the family. One man. Serving one woman. For one lifetime. Can I tell you this? The Bible says this.
[37:13] That God looked at the man. And said. It's not good that man should be alone. I will make him a help. Fit for him.
[37:25] Can I tell you this? When I look at this. I translate that. I paraphrase that by saying this. That God is saying. The boy needs help.
[37:37] He looked around at everything. And he said. This is good. And this is good. And this is good. And this is good. But that boy needs help. Years ago.
[37:48] I saw. I saw. I read the story of James. I was reading one of James Dobson's books. And. James Dobson talked about his son Ryan.
[37:59] He said. His wife. Shirley said. Said. I am. I'm going to go out now. James. She doesn't call him Dr. Dobson. She said. I'm going out now James.
[38:09] And she said. When I leave. I want you to know. That Danielle. His daughter. And Ryan. I'm leaving them here with you. And so. Please make sure. They don't get into any trouble. And he said.
[38:20] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She said. No really. Make sure you watch them. He said. Yeah. Yeah. Just like any other husband. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'll take care of it. And he was busy in his office. Doing his stuff in his office. He's doing his stuff. And.
[38:31] And. Half an hour went by. And there was no noise. That's dangerous. And so he said. He said. He started looking around. He found Danielle. And then he realized.
[38:41] He said. She said. He said. Where's your brother? She said. I don't know. And he started looking around the house. He couldn't find him. He went out in the front yard. He wasn't out in the front yard. He thought. Oh no.
[38:51] He said. I wasn't so concerned. About losing Ryan. As I was concerned. About what my wife was going to do to me. When she came back. And he said. He said. I went looking around. And I looked around.
[39:02] And. And I went out in back. And he said. Out in back of our house. There was an alleyway. And there was an old truck out there. In that alleyway. And when I went out in back. Out in the alleyway. I could see.
[39:14] Ryan's feet. Hanging off the back end of that truck. And I could hear Ryan saying something. And I thought. I wonder what he's saying. And he said. I could see him. He was holding on the back of that truck.
[39:26] And he was like. Trying to get up. Or trying to get down. And he said. His feet were wobbling. And I could hear him talking out loud. And as he got. To. Closer and closer to the truck. He said. I could hear Ryan say.
[39:36] Somebody help the boy. Somebody help the boy. In this passage. The Lord is looking. And he's saying. This boy needs help.
[39:47] This boy needs someone. Who will help him. He can't be. What he's supposed to be. Without you. He can't be. What he's supposed to be. Without help. And God created woman.
[39:59] Because man can't make it. By himself. Can I tell you this. Your husband doesn't like to admit it. Because he's proud. And he's puffed up. And he's a man. But the fact of the matter is.
[40:11] God created him with a need. He created him with a need. For interaction. He created him. With a physical need. To be with you.
[40:23] You know. It's interesting. In Proverbs. The Bible says. That a man is supposed to. It's a command. This is not just a suggestion. It's a command. A man is supposed to be. Always ravished.
[40:35] With his wife. That means. God commands you to want. Commands the man. To want. To physically. Be with his wife. He's supposed to be satisfied.
[40:46] With her body. All the time. Can I tell you this. It's not. Just something. That he would like. It's not just something. That suits his fancy. It is a need.
[40:58] In his life. It is a need. In fact. The Bible says. In 1 Corinthians. Chapter. 7. That you should only abstain. From the physical relationship. With your husband.
[41:09] Between husband and wife. For the sake of. Fasting. And prayer. It's as important. In his life. As food. I had.
[41:20] I said that one time. In church. And somebody came up to me. Afterwards. A man came up to me. And said. Preacher. I eat three times a day. You figure that out. When you get home. All right. So. So. I'm just.
[41:32] What I'm saying. Is this. That God created. Your husband. With a need. And it's not just. A physical need. He needs that. Interaction socially. He needs. You. God created.
[41:42] A man. With a need. God created. A woman. To meet that need. And God says. Listen. You need. As a man. To serve your wife. Take the blame. For your wife. Protect your wife.
[41:53] So much. He says. But it's important. That we understand. That basic plan. So the. The husband. Is to be the head servant. In the home. One man. One woman.
[42:04] For one lifetime. That's the basic. Plan. There's a problem. However. There's a basic problem. You say. What's the basic problem? The problem is. In 2nd Timothy.
[42:14] The Bible says. That we have a problem. In 2nd Timothy. Chapter 3. The Bible says this. And I'm just going to read this to you. Because we don't have time. I'm about to run out of time. In 2nd Timothy.
[42:25] Chapter 3. The Bible says. This know also. That in the last days. Perilous times. Shall come. These times are here. The last days started at Pentecost. Joel said.
[42:35] Hey. These are the last days. So this. So the last 2,000 years. We've been in the last days. What's. What are men going to be like in the last days? Here. Here's what they're going to be like. They're going to be lovers of their own selves.
[42:46] Covetous. Boasters. Proud. Blasphemers. Disobedient to parents. Unthankful. Unholy. Without natural affections. Truth breakers. False accusers. Incontinent. That means they lack self-control.
[43:01] Fierce. Despisers of those that are good. Traitors. Heady. High-minded. Lovers of pleasure. More than lovers of God. God. These times are here right now. This is where we live. We live here.
[43:12] And that means. Now listen. That's not talking about the guy down the street. That's not talking about the reprobate at the bar. That's talking about you and me. And by the way ladies. The word man there. Means mankind.
[43:22] It's talking about all of us. We are selfish. Self-centered sinners. And all we think about is us. Listen. My wife. I looked at my wife. And I said. Whoa. That is beautiful.
[43:33] I want that. I want that for the rest of my life. This will make me happy. You know what she was thinking? Oh what a hunk. And she was thinking. I want that. And I want that. And that guy's going to make me happy the rest of my life.
[43:45] The problem is we're both selfish. Self-centered sinners. And you know what happened? When we got married. We created five others. Just like us. A house filled with seven self-centered.
[43:57] Self-seeking sinners. And you need to understand. When two people from this society get married. They bring these attitudes and these actions into the marriage relationship.
[44:09] And when that happens. You got problems. You got problems. So here's the basic problem in marriage. The basic problem in marriage is not my wife. The basic problem in my marriage isn't my kids.
[44:20] The basic problem in marriage. I need to understand this. Is me. I want you to say that with me. The problem in my marriage is me. Let's say that. The problem in my marriage.
[44:31] You're not very good at this. Let's say this all together now. Come on. Let's work at it. Here we go. The problem in my marriage is me. If I can understand that. Paul said in me that is in my flesh dwelleth no good thing.
[44:44] If I can understand that. And if I can believe that. Then I can understand. The next time I get angry at my wife. The next time I get angry with my children. The next time I respond in the wrong way. The problem is me.
[44:55] It's my selfishness wanting things my way. And I don't want God to use my spouse in any way to shape me. That's why I get mad at my husband. That's why I get mad at my wife.
[45:08] That's why I fuss and I fume. Here let me give you a few verses and we'll be done. Proverbs chapter 13 says this. Why do you fight? Only by pride cometh contention.
[45:19] You're filled with pride. That's why. You say well this isn't me. This is my spouse. You're talking about my husband. This is not me. My heart tells me I'm right. Well the Bible says in Jeremiah 17.
[45:31] Your heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? Yeah your proud heart is telling you you're right. That's your problem. You see you think you're right and you are not.
[45:41] In Proverbs chapter 16 and verse 25. The Bible says there's a way that seemeth right unto a man. But the end thereof are the ways of death. You say I'm right. I am right. I've had women say my husband thinks he's right about everything.
[45:55] Proverbs 21 2 confirms that. Every way of a man is right in his own eyes. But the Lord pondereth the heart. We think we're right because we have wicked hearts.
[46:08] Paul said you live in a flesh that's wicked. He said that in me that is in my flesh dwelleth no good thing. For there's none righteous. No not one.
[46:18] Not you. There's none that understand. There's none that seek after God. They're all gone out of their way. They're together becoming unprofitable. That's you and me without Christ. Say wow that's bad.
[46:29] So we have a sin problem in our life. That makes me focus on what I want out of this marriage. And I got to get out of that. And say God I'm here to be a servant. I'm here to protect my wife.
[46:42] I'm here to love her unconditionally. As a wife I need to say I'm here to help him become what God wants him to be. I need to think of him. I need to show him respect. I need to love him. I need to love him by obeying him and submitting to him.
[46:57] And he needs me. And I need to realize that he can't be what God wants him to be unless I submit to him. That's total selflessness.
[47:07] Well how does that happen? When I live in a flesh that wants what it wants. The only way that can happen is if you daily surrender yourself to the Holy Spirit of God.
[47:18] See Paul said Paul did not say I can do all things. He said I can do all things through Christ. As a married man every day in order to be the husband that God wants me to be.
[47:31] I have to take my body and I have to put it on the altar. And I have to say God you know I'm selfish. I'm self-centered. I'm self-seeking. God I have a wife that needs to be loved like you love the church.
[47:44] So God I confess to you my sin. I ask you to fill me with your Holy Spirit. Control me. That I might be the husband, the father, the friend, the preacher that you want me to be.
[47:56] God I need you to control me. This can't be a one-time thing. See Paul said in Romans chapter 12. He said present your bodies a living sacrifice.
[48:07] In the Old Testament they offered dead sacrifices. You only had to do that once because it was dead. But here's what happens. We present ourselves to God and we're still alive. And so we get back up and we walk through and we get stained.
[48:19] And so every day we have to go before God and say God I bow before you. I recognize that only you can be in me what I need to be. We need to understand there's a basic problem in marriage.
[48:33] Our marriages are supposed to represent God but they can't. Jerry Falwell said this when I was in school. He said living the Christian life isn't hard. It's humanly impossible. You and I every day.
[48:44] You need to understand this. If you are going to the mission field. If you're going to be serving in ministry. You need this every day. You need to get on your face before Almighty God. And say God I belong to you.
[48:56] Fill me with your spirit. I need you to control me. I pray this prayer every day. Every day. I prayed it this morning. I say Lord help me to praise and thank and glorify and honor and bless.
[49:07] Help me not to complain or grumble. These are easy for me. Help me not to complain or grumble or backbite or judge or be angry. Help me. Control me. That I might honor you.
[49:19] As a husband. As a father. As a friend. As your servant. That's what you need. And that's the key. To the right marriage. If you want to have the kind of marriage God wants you to be.
[49:31] Then you need to determine. Whether you're the husband or wife. You're going to be the servant. That represents Jesus Christ. And surrender to him. And realize this. There's no such thing as a perfect husband.
[49:44] There's no such thing as a perfect wife. There's no such thing as perfect anything. That's why daily. You have to surrender to him. Be willing to confess your sin. And ask him to control you. So you can be.
[49:55] The family that God wants you to be. So your family. Can represent. God. Father help us to take what we've heard. Today. And not just be hearers. But help us to be doers of your word.
[50:06] Father help us to apply this truth to our lives. Help us not to complain about what we don't have. But be thankful for what we do have. And for what you have given to us. And Father help us to take responsibility.
[50:17] For our actions. And not blame anybody else. Heads are bowed and eyes are closed. Pastor.