[0:00] This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfredo, Georgia. It is our prayer that you will be blessed by the preaching of God's Word.
[0:14] This morning you're going to be in a special passage of Scripture. You might never hear preached, and especially not like I will this morning, but you're going to hear Matthew chapter 19. So let's turn there and read that with me.
[0:26] Victory even in marriage, victory even in marriage. Let's read that Scripture, if you would, with me. The Bible says in Matthew chapter 19 in verse 1, and we're going to read all the way down to verse 12.
[0:40] The Bible says, and it came to pass that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee and came to the coast of Judea beyond Jordan. And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them.
[0:53] He healed them there. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said to them, have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain, the two of them shall be one flesh.
[1:19] Wherefore, thou are no more twain or two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.
[1:30] They say unto him, well then why did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away? And he said to them, Moses, because the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives.
[1:43] But from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery.
[1:54] And whoso marrieth her which is put away, doth commit adultery. His disciples saying to him, if that's the case for a man to be so with his wife, it'd be good not to get married.
[2:05] But he said unto them, all men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs which are so born from their mother's womb, and there are some eunuchs which are made eunuchs of men, and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
[2:21] He that's able to receive it, let him receive it. So today, we're going to look at how to have victory even in marriage. So you pray with me that I'll explain this passage of scripture.
[2:33] Keep your Bible open when we get there in a minute, to this passage of scripture with an ink pen handy, and you can mark it down and study it and be ready to check it out later when you get home.
[2:43] So let's have a word of prayer and ask God to work this morning. Father, we love you, and I thank you that you're a God that loves us, and I thank you most of all that you're the God of grace and salvation, and that you know that we need you and we fail at everything else we do.
[3:00] And I pray, dear God, that you would have mercy on me and use me today in spite of who I am and help me to explain your scriptures, help them to come alive. God, help us to go home with a stronger marriage than we've ever had.
[3:13] Help us, dear God, to go home serving you and honoring you. And if somebody came today that doesn't know you as their personal savior, I pray you convict them and show them the need of their salvation.
[3:25] And we'll give you praise and honor for all that you do. Thank you so very much. In Jesus' name, amen. All right. Take your Bibles, if you would, and turn with me to Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19.
[3:37] And we want to learn how to have victory even in marriage. How to have victory even in marriage. Matthew chapter 19. Read with me, if you would, the first two verses of Matthew chapter 19.
[3:49] The Bible says it came to pass that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee and he came to the coast of Judea beyond Jordan. And great multitudes followed him and he healed them there.
[4:03] So we got a story here that's a setting. Jesus has left one place, gone to another place. And again, he's just loving people. He is just helping people and being a blessing.
[4:14] And then you come up on verse three and these guys come up to him and they're tempting him. So if you have your Bible open in verse three, I want you to put a big circle around the word tempting.
[4:26] The Bible says the Pharisees also came unto him tempting him. You can put a circle around that word tempting and make a line to your margin and write testing.
[4:36] They're there to argue with him. They're there to trap him. They're there to see if they can cause Jesus to stumble between two great opinions that are going on in Israel that you'll see in just a minute.
[4:50] Now you came this morning and we're going to be talking about marriage and how to have victory in marriage. And we're going to talk about divorce and we're going to talk about remarriage. And we're going to talk about things that really are a tad uncomfortable.
[5:02] So before we do, let me just say, it doesn't matter where you are today. There's hope for you and help from the Lord Jesus Christ. If you are here and hurting in your marriage, then there is help.
[5:12] If you're recovering from a bad marriage, a messed up marriage, there's hope for you. If you're afraid to marry because of the message you've seen, there's still help for you. If you're waiting on God's will for your life, then there is hope for you.
[5:27] Remember that the person that they're talking to in this story is the very grace of God in human flesh. He is a sacrifice come to make up for our sin and mess ups.
[5:39] And it's never too late for you. So if you're writing things down, beside verse 3, write the words trap set. The trap is set in verse 3.
[5:49] The Bible says, It was a sacred duty.
[6:11] Not getting married was like breaking the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. The glory of God was to be shown in your marriage. Getting married right was a big deal to the Jews.
[6:22] It's very important. You're going to marry a virgin. You're never going to seduce another man's wife. You know that God hates divorce. You know that if you're a Jewish person.
[6:33] The Bible says in Malachi chapter 2 and verse 16, write that in the margin of your Bible. Malachi 2.16, For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away.
[6:46] Underline, he hates putting away. Circle putting away. Draw a line to the margin and write divorce. He hates getting rid of your wife. He hates getting rid of your wife.
[6:57] Because they didn't ever get rid of their husbands. Women didn't have very many rights. They were more like property. So the men were like throwing away women any time they wanted. He said, he hates that. Then he said, for one covers violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts.
[7:10] Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you deal not treacherously. Don't take advantage of, mistreat your wife. But in their culture, there was big problems with marriage.
[7:22] Sounds kind of like where we live today. The woman was a thing. She was a possession of her father or of her husband. She had basically no legal rights.
[7:33] The fact is, when she was going to get married, it would be arranged by her parents or by some professional matchmakers. Sometimes they made the match when the kids were very small.
[7:45] And if they did have one little thing, at the age of 12, she could choose to reject the guy the parents picked for her when she was two. She'd have that choice. So she had one right, poor little lady.
[7:56] But once she was married, the provision of divorce was only the privilege of the husband. And by the time Jesus is here, and in this story, divorce was very easy.
[8:09] All a man had to do was write a letter and say, I'm done with you. Listen to what the Bible says in Deuteronomy 24.1. Write that in the Marks of your Bible so you can study this later.
[8:21] Deuteronomy 24.1, the Bible says, When a man hath taken a wife and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes. Underline that. He just don't like her.
[8:32] She doesn't find favor in her eyes because he hath found some uncleanness in her. Then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.
[8:43] So he'd write her a letter and say, you know, I don't like you anymore, and this is the reason I don't like you anymore. And he could send her out of his house with a letter, a bill of divorcement, and she could go back home. And when she was departed out of his house, then she could go get married to somebody else.
[8:58] Well, the problem was that in Israel, there was a big fight going on between two major leaders historically. And so one of those leaders was saying, well, now that uncleanness there has to be fornication.
[9:10] It can't just be any uncleanness. But most people didn't like what he had to say. He was pretty strict. If she does something like filthy, like adultery or some kind of sexual sin, then you'd have a right to divorce her.
[9:24] And the other group said, well, you can divorce her for any reason you want to. Read the verse with me. Matthew chapter 20 or 19 verse 3. You got it? Matthew 19, 3.
[9:35] The Bible says the Pharisees also came in him, tempting him and saying, is it lawful for the man to put away his wife for every cause? Underline that. For every cause?
[9:46] Can a man get rid of his wife for anything? One group says only fornication or adultery. That word fornication there means, comes from a word that means the same as porn, pornea.
[9:56] It means the idea of doing any dirty sexual thing. It would include the gamut of any kind of filthy sexual thing. The other group, very popular, had this, any reason.
[10:10] If she spoiled your dinner, you can get rid of her. If she doesn't take care of her hair like you like, you can get rid of her. If she's not respectful to your parents, dump her.
[10:24] If she's argumentative, well, that's a good one, amen. How many of you are married? Say amen. How many of your wives are argumentative? Not mine, of course, because I'm afraid I might get beat up for that argument later.
[10:37] If she's argumentative, you can get rid of her. If you found a better looking woman, you'd be free to be offended by her looks, your own wife's looks, and take her another one.
[10:47] If she didn't have a baby for 10 years, can her. There were two extremes. One major leader said there's no grounds for divorce except fornication and adultery.
[10:58] And the other said just about anything goes. You happen to live in a society now where just about anything goes. And so Jesus is going to talk about that.
[11:10] But I want you to focus on, in verse 3, I want you to underline the thing. You've got to know the context. And the context is Jesus in verses 1 and 2 is going about doing good stuff like he always does.
[11:22] And he's over here trying to heal people and help people and be a blessing of people. And here comes some religious people, and they're like, we're going to trap him. We're going to nail him and get him caught up where we can get him tongue-tied and get him messed up.
[11:35] And we're going to test him, tempt him, they said in verse 3. Look at verse 3 again. And the Pharisees came to him, tempting him. And they said, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
[11:48] So that's clearly, we want you to decide on that. And they were like, which one, whichever way he comes down, we got him. If he comes down to every cause, we can go with the other guy. If he comes down to every, if he comes down on only the one, we got him on that one too.
[12:01] But look how he responds. Second thing you write down, how did Jesus respond? Verse 4, Jesus' response. The Bible says, and he answered and said to them, have you not read that he that made them at the beginning made them male and female?
[12:18] Now you didn't underline that. That would be a good question. Anytime you have a discussion, anytime you have something you want to question, Jesus said, y'all read your Bibles? So they said, hey, which side do you come down on this?
[12:30] And Jesus said, you guys don't read your Bibles? Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? And it said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh.
[12:47] Wherefore there are no more twain, no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. So they're like, we want to know where you stand on the popular views.
[12:59] This is Dr. Phil with an argument going on and Jesus has got to come down somewhere. This is Oprah trying to figure out how Jesus will answer.
[13:10] And Jesus says, well, let's go back to the word of God. That's a good place to go anytime you want to know something. Amen. Let's go back to the word of God. And he said, have you not read the scriptures? He goes back to the creation.
[13:23] Did you notice, would you look back with me in verse four? And I want you to understand, if you're a Bible believer, you believe God did it. Look at what it says in verse four. Have you not read it?
[13:34] He which, would you say that word with me? He which made. He which made them. He which made them. Then how did he make them? He made them male and female.
[13:45] So he goes all the way back to the creation. He says that since God created man that way, that man was to leave and cleave, leave and cleave.
[13:56] God made two into one at marriage. No one should try to change what God did. Look at verse six. Whatever God had joined together, let not man put a son to realize that God did this.
[14:11] Jesus teaches us exactly what God's original plan for marriage were. Are you ready? Verse four. It was God that established marriage.
[14:23] You should write that down there. It was God that established marriage. So he has the right to say what he wants done. Read verse four again. The Bible said he answered and said to them, have you not read that he which made them at the beginning, made them male and female?
[14:38] So he said, hey, God's one that did it when they said, Jesus, what do you think? Should you let him go for every cause or how are you going to come down on it? He said, let's go back to the Bible. He said, this is a God thing, not an Israel thing.
[14:49] It's a God thing, not a man thing. God made marriage. He said, and when God did it, he made a physical union. Look at verse five. He said, for this cause shall a man leave, circle, leave father and mother and cleave to his wife.
[15:05] And they twain, they too shall be one flesh, circle, one flesh. So something was going to happen. Physical was going to happen. These two were going to become one.
[15:16] These two were going to become one. Then he said, it's a permanent union. It's a permanent union. Look at verse six, if you would. Look at verse six. He said, wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
[15:29] And what God's joined together, don't you let any man put asunder. Whatever God's joined together, don't you put asunder. Then he said, it's a man and a woman.
[15:43] It's a man and a woman to get married. Look at verse four. He said, now God's one made up marriage. God made it physical. God made it permanent. But God even picked out the people that are supposed to get married.
[15:54] Verse four. He answered and said, if you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them. I can't hear you. You need to hear you. He made them what? Male and female. So God made a man to marry a woman.
[16:08] That's God's plan. That's what the Bible says. If you understand that, say amen. Now who made up marriage? God did. And how did God want it done? He wanted it. It was going to be a physical union. It was going to be a permanent union.
[16:20] It was going to be between the correct people. But it was more than just a physical union. It was that they would become one. Look at verse five. And he said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave.
[16:35] Put a circle around the word cleave to his wife and the two shall be one flesh. So in marriage there was to be a leaving and a cleaving. There was to be a leaving and a cleaving.
[16:48] You became one with your spouse. You left your family. You left your family. The two key attitudes in a successful marriage were going to be self-denial and self-giving.
[17:01] These two people were going to meld into one. They were going to be so much in love and desire to please each other so much that those two would become one. That's not just talking about sex.
[17:13] That's talking about lots more than that. It's talking about two people that would become one. It's feeling and thinking like your spouse. It's becoming so much. Two different people.
[17:24] One day years ago, my father-in-law got me alone. Somewhere we were talking. Betty and I have been married 41 years. But back then, I don't know. We've probably been married 30 years.
[17:35] And so, my father-in-law said, I need to talk to you. I said, okay. And we're sitting there and he said, you and Betty are too close to each other. You're just too close.
[17:46] You don't have a life. She don't have a life. Y'all got a life. But it's like Austin and Betty, Betty and Austin. But it's never Austin. It's never Betty. He said, that's not good. If either one of y'all die, it's going to be really rough on you because y'all are like one person and I like two.
[18:01] And I said, I appreciate that. He said, no, I'm trying to help you fix that. I said, we don't want to fix that. We have become one flesh. He said, no, it's really a bad deal. He said, because when you get that close to each other, I mean, it's really bad.
[18:14] And I said, well, I really like it that way. And so, I think Betty likes it that way. And I think we'll keep it that way. In fact, I think God likes it that way. Amen. He said, I want you to become one flesh. That really did happen.
[18:26] Now, I want you to listen to me. Divorce was never really an option in God's plan. Never a part of God's original plan. Don't get offended.
[18:37] We'll get to you in a minute. But it was never a part of God's original plan. Because in verse 4, he didn't make replacement parts. He didn't make replacement parts.
[18:49] Look at verse 4. And he answered and said to them, have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? He didn't make them males and females. He made them male and female. And you say, how do you know it was just one and one?
[19:01] Because it was Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Eve's. It wasn't like Adam. You try with Eve for a while. You don't like her. You can can her.
[19:12] The fact is, if you see, after you've been around Eve a while, if you think Mary's better looking, can't Eve? He said, no, I'll just make one. You know, Adam thought Eve was the best looking woman in the world.
[19:22] Adam looked at Eve and said, another woman looks like you on this whole planet. He said, you are the most gorgeous woman God made. And that was true.
[19:33] Amen? Amen? Because in God's original plan, there were no replacement parts. You've got to understand, when God made them, he made them to cleave. Look at verse 5.
[19:44] He made them to cleave. That means to be glued together. It means to be welded together. It means to form a part of your spouse. The Bible says in verse 5, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother.
[19:56] You know, there's not a very, there's not much more of a close union than father and mother. I mean, they gave you life. They raised you. They nurtured you. They taught you.
[20:07] Your mother, man, Mother's Day is the biggest day of the year, I think, sometimes. Mother's Day and Father's Day, not so good, but we do like our dads a little bit. Amen? But anyway, so Father's Day and Mother's Day.
[20:17] But you were going to come to a day in your life when you would turn to your mom and dad and say, I love you and I sure appreciate all you've done, but toodaloo. Have a good life. God bless you. I'm out of here.
[20:28] I'm leaving. That's a sad day when you're the dad. I remember walking down the aisle with Stephanie. Our daughter was going to get married. We woke up that morning.
[20:38] Betty said, Betty came in. I didn't get out of bed. I'm always up first, but I didn't get out of bed. She came in. She said, honey, you need to get up. We got a wedding today. And I said, it feels more like a funeral to me. She said, well, you mean?
[20:50] I said, I can take my daughter and let that big galoot marry her. And she said, well, honey, this is a great day for Stephanie. It might be a great day for Stephanie, but it's a pretty rough day for dad. Amen. I was standing back at the back of the church.
[21:02] And I mean, I mean, I was sad all day long. I'll just be honest with you. I was sad all day long. I kept thinking, I know what this guy's going to do to my daughter. I don't really like the idea of this at all. And I'm standing back in the back of the room.
[21:13] And she pulls me down and kisses me on the cheek and says, thank you for all this, dad. And so I walked down the aisle with her crying the whole way. I don't cry. Then I got up and did the wedding. So later I asked her, I said, honey, how in the world could you love such a big, ugly galoot?
[21:30] And she said, lots of practice with you, dad. Thank you. I said, how does he treat you? She said, a lot better than you ever did. That's what the leaving and the cleaving is all about.
[21:42] Amen. She said, bye to dad. She changed her last name. Can you believe that? She dumped Gardner from her name. I thought that was great when Betty did it. I didn't like it a bit when my daughter did it.
[21:53] Amen. See what's going on. He said, hey, you're going to leave. And then it says, you're going to cleave. A circle that word cleave. Now you're not two, you're one. Now you're not two, you're one.
[22:05] You're not twain, you're one. Marriage is God putting people together with no mention of you're accepting that truth or not. I just like to throw this in real quick because I've heard it all my life.
[22:17] Well, we weren't saved when we got married, so it wasn't God doing it. That's not even mentioned here. It's just the idea, hey, man, you got married, God put that together. You got married, you made that decision, it was God doing it.
[22:29] There's nothing in there. It says, you must check the box that says, I realize God's doing this. So God made marriage and God put you together and there's no mention of that. By the way, divorce is always man undoing what God has done.
[22:47] I'll let that sink in a second. Divorce is always man undoing what God has done. Man or woman allowed sin into the union.
[22:58] Men and women do not honor and obey God in their lives of marriage and so the union falls apart. God's perfect will is that you are married for your entire lifetime to just one person.
[23:16] Can I get an amen there? It's the truth. It's the truth. God's plan was a man would marry a woman and they would be married for a lifetime. Till death do us part.
[23:29] Some of you right now are very uneasy. You're saying, I thought you said there's hope for everybody. You sure are slamming some of us. Just hang on. We're getting through the passage. Look at verse 7 if you would. They said, well, what about what Moses said?
[23:42] They heard Jesus talking. They go, well, what about what Moses said? You said, did we read the book? I read the book. Look at verse 7. They said to him, why then did Moses command to give a right in a divorcement and to put her away?
[23:53] Why Moses? Hey, he wrote the first five books of the Bible. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, books of the law, books of Moses. Pentateuch, he wrote them and he said, canter. And Jesus said, he said that to them because of the hardness of your hearts.
[24:10] Underline that in your Bible. Because of the hardness of your hearts. He allowed you. He suffered you. Circle the word suffered. Draw a line to the margin and write aloud. He allowed you to put away your wives.
[24:23] But from the beginning, it was not so. Jesus says that Moses did not make a commandment, but a concession. Divorce was never what God intended to happen in people's lives.
[24:39] Remember that if the spouse committed adultery, they were going to be put to death. Not divorce. Dead. Dead. You caught him or her or them. They were dead.
[24:50] We're going to die. Moses never commanded them to put away their wives. They were twisting scripture, which is what we like to do.
[25:02] We like to find some Bible verses and see if we can't read it in such a way that it gets out of it what we won't. So look if you would at Matthew chapter, or Deuteronomy, excuse me, Deuteronomy chapter 24 and verse 1.
[25:13] That's the verse they were twisting. The Bible says, when a man hath taken a wife and married her, it has come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes because he hath found some uncleanness in her.
[25:24] Then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it to her hand and send her out of his house. He says, all right, all right. If it happens, then you can write a letter. There's not a word in there about a command.
[25:36] There's not a word in there saying this is what I want you to do. God never divorces us no matter what we do. Our salvation is forever. And in the Bible, when God wants to talk about marriage in the New Testament, he compares marriage in the New Testament to Jesus and the church, to the man and the wife.
[25:56] In Ephesians 5, 22 through 33. And he's saying, he's saying, he said, let me talk to you about how a man should love his wife. A man should love his wife. A man should love his wife.
[26:07] Three times he says that. And he says, the wife should submit to her husband. The wife should submit to her husband. The wife should reverence her husband. Three times in that passage of scripture. And then he ends up saying, but I'm not talking about a man and a wife.
[26:18] I'm really talking about Jesus and the church. So in the Bible, the picture of marriage was like a picture of what God's doing in heaven happening in our lives down here on earth.
[26:30] You got that? Say amen. So this is a big deal. Marriage is a big deal to God. It's a big deal. Fact is, he wrote a book called Hosea. Yeah, we've been through the book of Hosea.
[26:42] We've preached through that whole book. And in the book of Hosea, you have the story of Hosea marrying this woman named Gomer. That's a good name. Amen. Every time I read Gomer, I think Gomer Powell.
[26:53] Amen. But that was a woman's name back then. Thank God we don't live back then. Amen. I would hate to say, hey, Gomer, come on, let's go to bed. I mean, that just would be shocking to me. But anyway, so Hosea was married to Gomer.
[27:04] And Gomer was a prostitute. And she goes out and she has babies and he even names them. And the name means not mine. This one ain't mine. I mean, he said, he looks at the baby and said, let's give that kid the name.
[27:17] This ain't mine. Pretty wild story. And then he talks all about this relationship between Hosea and Gomer. And he says, but the real story here is not about Hosea and Gomer.
[27:29] It's really about God and Israel. And he talks about how Gomer is so horrible. And he says, that's really Israel. That's really Judah. That's really my people. And he said, and Hosea here is going to be a super nice guy.
[27:42] And even when she's doing wrong, Hosea is going to take and give her corn and grain and silver and gold and oil and all she needs. He's going to give it to her even when she's doing wicked stuff.
[27:53] He's going to do all that stuff for her because he is such a good guy because he represents me. And then when she's used up and nobody wants her and they're going to sell her like a slave, Hosea is going to walk into the courtroom when they're selling her like a slave.
[28:08] They've got her up there. She's probably beaten and battered and her eyes are dark and sunken and her teeth are probably half knocked out. And she's a used up woman. The owner was going to stand up there being laughed at and mocked.
[28:22] And Hosea was going to go in there and buy her back. He was going to take her home. He was going to win her love back. He was going to spend time with her. And he's saying that's what I did for you.
[28:33] So God's opinion is God never throws us away and he don't really want you ever throwing your spouse away. He wants marriage to be till death do you part.
[28:46] And that's not till you kill her. Amen. Till death do you part. So they were not commanded to give it a divorce even for adultery. Marriages don't work because of man's sin.
[29:00] And the hardness of our hearts. If you're honest and you go back and you think about your divorce. You don't have to admit sin crept in there. Might have been on your side and on her side.
[29:12] Or might have been on his side, on your side. Might have been more him and less you. But there was sin there and you know it was. God intended marriage to be the most wonderful part of our lives.
[29:25] Marriage was more than sex and physical attraction. It was two becoming one. But Jesus didn't leave it like that so hard.
[29:37] So in verse 9 he gave an exception. Would you look at verse 9. I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication.
[29:49] And shall marry another, committeth adultery. And whoso marrieth her which is put away, does commit adultery. Jesus here gives us a principle that should not be turned into law or legalism.
[30:00] Men like to take things to extremes. Like the trap that's being set by these religious people. So we like to say, bless God, you got to marry her and live with her. I don't care how miserable life is.
[30:11] I don't care how many times she commits adultery. I don't care what's going on. You got to do that. Or you can just dump her anytime you want to. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on.
[30:22] Hang on. Half of y'all are going to get mad. Everybody's going to be mad before I'm finished. Because some of you are going to be like, he ain't talking strong enough sand on marriage. I think I have. I think I've told you what the scripture said.
[30:33] But we get down to this. You know, he told them you can't work on the Sabbath. But you realize when he said you can't work on the Sabbath, they worked every Sabbath. You got to milk the cows, guys. You got to slop the pigs.
[30:45] You got to fix a sandwich for your hubby. So when he gave these things, it was obviously to be understood there was this exception.
[30:56] There was no question that the ideal and principle is that marriage is to be a permanent union between a man and a woman that brings the two to act and live like one.
[31:08] It was to be the most satisfying and wonderful fellowship possible. That's what God meant for marriage to be. But things don't always work out, so Jesus left room for an exception.
[31:20] Fornication. Sexual immorality. There should never, ever be a flippant attitude towards marriage in a church of people that love Jesus.
[31:32] They were not to dissolve marriage over any and everything. But Jesus wasn't going to condemn the innocent party to a life of torture or alone because of the sins of their spouse.
[31:49] The answer totally frustrated the Jews. But watch this. Had you been living under law in the Old Testament and your spouse committed adultery, bam, they're dead. You took them out, they were stoned.
[31:59] They were ran through with a sword. One time there was two people committed adultery and the priest of the Lord went in and ran a sword, a spear, right through both of them and pinned them to the ground. And so in this story, Jesus said, no, I want it to be forever, but if there's adultery, I will give you an exception.
[32:18] And it was such a strong thing. He took such a strong stand on marriage that the guys listening were like, this is too strong. We're Jews and we're disciples and we're following you, but you are really too strong on marriage.
[32:32] Look if you would at verse 10. They're frustrated. His disciples saying to him, if the case of the man be so with his wife, it's good not to marry. Are you mean to tell me she can burn my food and I got to keep being married to her?
[32:46] Are you mean to tell me she can get out of shape and not as good looking and wrinkled up? I mean, I know I am, but that's one thing. But I mean, I get to throw her away. You mean I got to put up with her?
[32:57] You mean she can show a lack of respect to my parents and I got to put up with that? If that be the case, I'll just be honest, it wouldn't be good to get married.
[33:08] I'd rather not get married. If it means I'm going to be locked into it forever, it'd be better not to marry. Jesus wanted them to realize that marriage was from God and marriage was serious.
[33:21] And taking and leaving your spouse was not right and would only lead to more sin. You can't just dump your spouse. There's no easy out for divorce.
[33:33] Verse 9. Verse 9. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, unless it be for fornication, and shall marry another commits adultery. And whosoever marries her which is put away does commit adultery.
[33:45] Don't y'all be just acting like this is no big deal. By the way, you know they got all kind of problems in Israel. You know that, don't you? You got old Solomon married to a thousand women.
[33:55] He had 300 wives and 700 concubines. That's a thousand women. I don't even know how you'd get to know all their names. Can you imagine? Like somebody said, well, I'm bringing wife number 58.
[34:06] That's about all he'd know. He goes to bed at night and says, what was that woman's name again? That's ridiculous. That's the kind of mess they were in. He warned them that they should understand the seriousness of marriage.
[34:18] Very few people would have been made that shouldn't get married. He doesn't want them running from marriage. He wants you to say, man, marriage is serious, and you ought not enter into it lightly.
[34:30] You ought to take it very seriously because you're supposed to stay married forever, and there's only really one way out of that, and that's adultery. Verse 12. For there are some eunuchs, that means people that are physically unable to have children.
[34:45] They have been, their manhood has been removed, which were born so from their mother's womb, and there are some eunuchs which are made eunuchs of men. Kings used to do that if they were going to hang around their wives.
[34:57] There'll be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that's able to receive it, let him receive it. So he's saying, hey, don't run from marriage. Just know it's serious. Don't run from marriage.
[35:08] Just know this was meant to last. Don't run from marriage. Work on marriage. You ought to work on your marriage. Yes, there's an exception clause, but it's a one-time exception.
[35:19] It's like an unusual case. Not everybody's going to do that. Work on your marriage. That's why we're going to have a marriage retreat. You ought to be there. Work on your marriage.
[35:30] So what did God intend for marriage? Genesis 2.24. Right somewhere in here. Genesis 2.24. One flesh, leaving and cleaving.
[35:42] Genesis 2.24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. They were both naked, but they weren't ashamed.
[35:53] He gave them intimacy. He gave them unity. He gave them sexual intimacy. He put two personalities together. And getting married wasn't putting a limitation on your life.
[36:05] It was completing your life. It's sharing life with all of its ups and downs. It's constantly living together and getting to know each other better while accepting each other.
[36:18] It's the idea of togetherness. It's being considerate. It's a beautiful picture of his love for the church. Marriage to him was like sacred above everything.
[36:29] A man and a woman forever. All of their life they would be together. We weren't made to be alone. We need each other. Now here's the biggest lesson of all, and I want you to really get before you go home.
[36:43] Because I said I'd help all of you. Now listen to this. The biggest lesson of all. Write this down somewhere. Man's failure.
[36:55] You should write this down somewhere. Man's failure. Marriage, like everything else that God gives us, doesn't always work out. We can mess up this most wonderful relationship that he has given us.
[37:10] What was meant for good can seem so horrible. Remember that all the law was meant to be your schoolmaster to get you to Jesus in grace. Which seems hard and even possible.
[37:23] But it's a reminder that all men fail and how much they fail. The fact that marriage doesn't work, even though it was a wonderful gift from God, shows us how God, or how man, messes up everything.
[37:36] The disciples and Pharisees understood that Jesus was saying something that that would be way too hard for most men and most women to keep. I want you to look here just a second. So you came today, and you're divorced, and you're hurt.
[37:51] And you're like, well God likes marriage, and I've messed up. Man, I've just really messed up big time, and so I guess it's all over for me. Let me explain something to you. You messed up. But what God wants you to realize is, yeah, you messed up.
[38:06] And everybody you ever know messed up. And some of us might not have messed up in our marriage as bad as others, and some of us might have really messed up in our marriage, but man always fails.
[38:18] And what the Bible says in Galatians chapter 3 and verse 24 is that man's failure. The law was given to us as a schoolmaster to take us to Jesus. And so this morning, if you're having marriage problems, or if you have had marriage problems, or you're overcoming marriage problems, you need to realize that your failure is really going to be the secret to your success.
[38:39] You need to realize that where you messed up might be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. Because when you find out you're sick, you're going to run to the one who can make up for what you messed up. You're going to find out that.
[38:52] I was in a camp, and I was fine. I didn't have a thing wrong with me. I'd never been to the doctor. I was as healthy as I could be.
[39:04] And I went to the bathroom, and I urinated blood. That was a great day for me. He said, how was that a great day? I found out I was sick. When I found out I was sick, I went running to a doctor.
[39:18] And when I went into the doctor, he said, he said, well, you got cancer. We're going to take that kidney out. And I said, well, how come we don't know about it until now?
[39:29] He said, because you ain't had that problem yet. And I'm like, well, what if I hadn't had that problem? He said, you just died from it. He said, what? Now, I'm the kind, you don't understand this, but I'm the kind to usually pray and say, God, deliver me from this problem.
[39:43] So I got that, and about three days later, everything was okay again. If I had prayed and said, God, I don't even go into a doctor. I'm just going to trust you to take away this problem. Three days later, I stopped urinating blood, and I'd have been like, I'm healthy.
[39:55] And then all of a sudden, I'd have been getting worse and worse, and all y'all had been looking at me going, man, Austin sure is getting skinny. He must be on a good diet, finally. But instead, I'd have been dying of cancer.
[40:06] And so your marriage is messed up, and your problems are messed up, and you realize that things aren't, you don't like it anymore than anybody else does. But you need to realize man's failure drives you to God's grace.
[40:19] You need to realize, man, I'm sick. I need help. So wherever you are and whatever mess ups you've been, run to Jesus. Run to Jesus. God's grace. God knew.
[40:31] Jesus knew that even in marriage, men would fail. That's why he made an exception clause. It wasn't his intention for people to have to live a miserable existence, even in marriage. If your marriage isn't working out like it should, then there's hope for you.
[40:45] God's word, God's grace will help you in this trying time. You can have victory. If you failed, his grace is sufficient. If you've never married, his grace is still sufficient.
[40:59] Hopefully, whatever your state condition, you'll run to Jesus to get him to help you. Whether it's to save you from a bad marriage or to help you overcome a bad marriage in the past. Or even wait on God to help you get married.
[41:12] Here's the whole point. Wherever you are, God knew you'd mess up. So nobody in this room, the one who's got the greatest marriage, can't look at anybody else like, I got a fantastic marriage.
[41:23] I don't mess up like these people. Oh, yeah, you did. You just messed up in a different area. Everybody in this room is messed up. Jesus knew that. He was there helping people. He wasn't there to condemn people.
[41:34] People wanted to argue with him. And he's saying, hey, this is what God originally intended. But, man, people have been messed up ever since he made that rule. Old Solomon messed up. David messed up. All the men of God messed up.
[41:46] Abraham messed up. They all messed up. But God said, hey, y'all mess up, but I got grace. Y'all mess up, but I got grace. And I don't care where you are this morning.
[41:56] And I don't care how you're hurting. He loves you. So let's run to Calvary. Let me show you what Calvary does for you. The beauty of Calvary is that every sin is covered there.
[42:08] At Calvary, you can get new life and a new start. Jesus was a sacrifice for your sin that made up for your mess up. Jesus was a sacrifice for your sin that made up for your mess up.
[42:21] Because of Calvary, you are fully accepted in Christ. I want to read a verse with you. Now, you listen to me. See, whenever I read the Bible, I'm looking for, where'd men mess up?
[42:32] How did God step in with grace? And how can I get to Calvary to see how God fixes up messed up people? Because I work with messed up people. Well, I am a messed up people. I am a messed up people.
[42:42] So you know, I've been married 41 years, but I haven't always been a very good husband. In fact, most of the time, I'm not that good. I'm kind of irritable and grouchy and whiny and complaining and needy and a whole bunch of junk that I ought to be a lot better at.
[42:55] I'm not, I in no way setting myself up. I'll tell you where I stand. I stand in the guy who messed up stage. But when I mess up, I run to Calvary. I run to God's grace. He said, when I get to God's grace, now watch what happens.
[43:07] I don't care who you, you say, I've been married 42 times and messed up every time. That shows you you messed up. And since you messed up so much, you need to run to God's grace. And when you run to God's grace, you get to Calvary to find out what Jesus did.
[43:20] Look what it says about you in Ephesians chapter 1 and verse 6. If you'll come to Christ and be saved, you'll be made accepted. To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he made us accepted in the beloved.
[43:34] And you got to read Ephesians 1, 6, understand something. It's to the praise of the glory of his grace. In other words, when I get to heaven, when you get to heaven, I don't care how much you messed up. I don't care how bad your marriage has been.
[43:46] I don't care where you've messed up. When we get to heaven, we're going to get up there and the angels are going to say, come on in, child of God. We know you. Your name's written down. Your seat's already set over it. Got your name on it.
[43:56] We all know you. You're great. And we're going to run in here. And it's not going to be to the praise of me having had a good marriage. It's not going to be to the praise of how many times I got baptized. It's not going to be to the praise of how good a guy was.
[44:08] It's going to be to the praise of the glory of his grace. We're all going to say, man, God's good. There's going to be this guy that messed his life up, but he just realized I'm the chief of sinners.
[44:20] I'm the biggest mess up. And he's going to be going, but I'm accepted. Underline that in that verse. I'm accepted. Where's the junk in your life where you messed up? No, you didn't mess up your marriage. You messed up somewhere else, but by the grace of God, you are, what's the word?
[44:33] You are accepted. Let's get another verse. By the way, you're accepted in him even though you might have failed in your marriage. He has forgotten your failure. Oh, did you hear that?
[44:46] He has forgotten your failure. And he loves you just like you are. You say, how do you know he forgot my failure? Because he forgot all my sins. Buried him in the deepest part of the sea. Put him behind his back.
[44:57] Separated them from me, from the far east, to the west. Paid him in full. Nailed him to the cross and said, if anybody wants to bring up what my son did wrong, go to the cross and you'll find out I already paid his debt.
[45:09] Isn't that pretty sweet? Amen? God, man fails. God's got great grace and Calvary covers it all. By the way, he made you a new creature. I don't care where you messed up.
[45:20] He made you a new creature. Get born again. You're a new creature. Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5, 17. Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he's a new creature. Old things are passed away. And behold, all things are become new.
[45:31] That means all things. Let me give you the Greek definition of all things. All things. Or we could say it in another way, a much more dignified way, everything.
[45:43] It means, oh, I messed up this way, this way, this way. He'd say, okay, it's all covered. But what about this? It's all covered. But what about, it's all covered. But what about, it's all covered. This ain't like talking to your insurance agent.
[45:55] It's talking to Jesus. Amen? There's no small print here. He said, it's all covered. Say amen. You're a new creature. He has taken your sins on himself and made you the very righteousness of God.
[46:10] 2 Corinthians 5, 21. For he made him to be sin for us who knew no sin that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. He became sin for me and made me the very righteousness of God.
[46:23] So I'm looking at a guy and maybe your marriage messed up or maybe you've never been married or maybe you lied and cheated and stole or been proud and arrogant and had a haughty and proud look. I don't care what your sin's been. But by the grace of God, if you're born again, he looks at you and says, I'll take that and I'll go to the cross with it and I'll give you my righteousness.
[46:41] He looks at, he didn't write one letter in the whole New Testament to the sinners at such and such a church. Ever letters to the saints. He's writing the church at Corinth full of a bunch of bad junk going on and he's going to fuss at them every chapter.
[46:57] But he starts off, hello, saints. Sanctified. Call to be saints of God. I'm like, do you know who you're fixing to talk to? He's, yeah, I know. God already forgave him. That don't mean you're going to do wrong.
[47:09] It just means you need to know he loves you. He loves you. He loves you. I got one more verse for you. I could give you dozens, but it's past time and you're not going to pay me overtime, so I'm going to go ahead and quit.
[47:23] Romans 5.20, the Bible says, Moreover the law entered that offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace is much more bound. See, the law came in and said, you better be married to one woman for your entire lifetime.
[47:37] That's the way God wanted it. That's the way he made it. That's how it happens. That's how it works. And you say, well, I messed up on that. He said, yeah, well, you really messed up. So where your sin abounded, God's grace did much more abound. So you came this morning.
[47:48] I understand. God's plan is one man, one woman for an entire lifetime. And you've already messed up. And some of you, you've been married more than one time. And you're on your second marriage. Some of you are in a pretty bad marriage right now.
[48:00] And you're wondering, could you ever get this straightened out? Yes, you can. God is good. And God is powerful. Trust him and work on your marriage. But if you have messed up, you don't have to go home beat down and whip because you messed up because God saves mess ups.
[48:17] God loves you and cares about you. And he paid your sin debt. So come to Calvary. Come to Calvary. Realize this. Your failure is a great thing. Because in your failure, you find out you need a doctor.
[48:30] And you run to the doctor. And the doctor says, I can handle that. But I'll take your sin to Calvary and I'll pay your sin debt. That's what happened when we got saved. Nobody's going to go to heaven because they had a great marriage.
[48:46] Nobody's going to go to heaven because they had a great marriage. And nobody's going to go to hell because they messed up in their marriage. Run to Calvary. Now, before I close, you need to know this.
[48:58] He wants you to work on your marriage. It's serious. Are we trying to get out of it? Don't you leave here saying, well, man, Austin told us we can get out of it. That's not what I'm telling you. I've got to talk to a whole lot of people.
[49:10] But you know what? If you're divorced and remarried, man, I'd take my marriage like it was a first marriage. I'd say, man, I messed up enough. But from now on, I'm going to honor Jesus right where I am. From right where I am forward, I'm going to honor Jesus.
[49:21] Could you say amen right there? And you say, well, I've messed up in my marriage. My marriage has got a lot of problems. I need to fix these things. Well, let's get to work. Get to Calvary. Get in the Bible. Get in prayer. Ask God to work on it.
[49:31] Because God wants your marriage. It's serious business with God. Don't play games with it. Don't play games with it. But if you're here and you're kind of like, man, I came today.
[49:43] It's my first time at Vision. They're talking about marriage and divorce. And I am. And man, I feel like trash. You don't have to feel like trash. God committed his love toward us. And while we were still sinners, yet sinners, Christ died for us.
[49:56] He didn't die for you while you were right. He died for you when you was wrong. And let me just tell you this. I know more about your marriage mess-ups than he does. Because he forgives you if you're born again.
[50:09] How about that one? So all your mess-ups, you're saved under the blood of Jesus. Now, if you're not saved, days of the day to get saved, I'd sure want to get that thing fixed. Father in heaven, would you move and work in our midst today?
[50:21] Would you bring honor to your name? Would you glorify yourself? And I'll give you praise and honor for what you do. God, save somebody today and comfort some Christian today that's hurting and worried and scared and thinking you're angry and mad when you have taken that and paid that sin debt on the cross of Calvary and they can be saved and they can have victory even in marriage.
[50:44] God, would you do a work today and I'll give you praise. Would your heads bow and your eyes closed? If you're here and you've never been saved, you've never been born again, and you really think I'm so messed up I'm not sure God had saved me, I've messed up time and time again, I don't even know if God would love me, you're totally wrong.
[51:01] He loves you and He cares about you and there are trained counselors ready to open the Bible and answer your questions and show you how to know Jesus as your Savior. Who in the room would say, man, I'm not saved, I don't want to be embarrassed, but I really would like to pray with somebody, I would really like to talk to somebody and we'll speak with you in private and help you.
[51:20] Would there be anybody like that? Would you just hold your hand up and say, I need some help? I want somebody to pray with me. We're not asking you to join the church, not asking you to be baptized, not asking you to give an offering, we just want to help you.
[51:30] Would there be anybody like that today? You messed up, you know you messed up, you need God's working in your life, you feel convicted, you feel like the Holy Spirit's saying, it's time for us to get things straight, right now is your time.
[51:41] Would anybody like that? Would you just hold your hand up? Is there anybody in this room that would say, man, I've been dealing with some marriage mess and some discouragement and some past, the Lord's really convicted me today that He loves me, that He loves me and I ought to seek Him and put Him first and honor Him.
[51:57] Anybody like that this morning? Let me pray for you, just hold your hand up, you just lift it up and take it right back down. Anybody like that? Thank you, I see your hand. Anybody else? God will help me, God will work in my life. Anybody else?
[52:08] I want you to know today He loves you beyond anything you could ever imagine. He is the great God of grace, the great God of salvation.
[52:20] Father in heaven, I ask you to work today. I pray you'd save people and I pray you'd help marriages be strengthened. I pray you'd help husbands to say they're sorry to you and then to their spouse and wives, say they're sorry and then to their spouse and God let their differences be made in our families.
[52:35] Help us to build strong homes and honor you and we'll give you praise for it all. With every head bowed and every eye closed, we're going to sing, but I'm asking you, this is a big deal.
[52:47] This is a big deal. Why don't you come, maybe even bring your spouse with you, come to the altar and say, I'm going to work at honoring God more. I'm going to work at living and making our marriage what it ought to be.
[52:58] Why don't you come and say to God, I am sorry for the way I have had a bad attitude. I haven't been trusting you, but I found my failure and I'm running to grace in Calvary. Why don't you get out of your seat right now and come pray.
[53:11] Pray in your seat, you can pray here, no pressure, but I would definitely let God do a work in my life if I were you. This message was recorded at Vision Baptist Church in Alfredo, Georgia.
[53:25] For more information, log on to www.visionbaptist.com where you can find our service times, location, contact information, and more audio and video recordings.