[0:00] this message was recorded at vision baptist church in alphariad georgia during this time pastor garner explains the seriousness of the marriage commitment you take your bibles and turn with me to the book of ecclesiastes i'm not sure you can find that book of the bible you know you're still used to going to john but anyway back in the old testament psalms proverbs and ecclesiastes psalms proverbs and ecclesiastes now i assume that we had marriages of all different lengths in the in the wedding tonight and the wedding renewal tonight so would you just let me do this with you real quickly if you would you stand to your feet if you just participated up here all the couples if you'd stand up right quickly and let me just see here now you sit down when i get to your number if you're up been married over 40 years sit down does anybody go down if you do i need you to holler so i know zach you sat down at 40 my goodness all right i'm telling you being married to her must be tough making you think it's 40 years you're in trouble tonight i just told the people at the wedding where at the marriage retreat i just did you know that john wesley the founder of the methodist church his wife grabbed him by the hair of the head and drug him across the room and a man walked in just in time to see him with the hair of his head in her hands and that's what's happening to you tonight zach for sitting down at the wrong time all right 35 years sit down i know betty i've been married 38 does that get the oldest right there all right sit down betty you can sit you've been married over 35 all right anybody else over 30 yeah give her a round of applause poor lady had to put up with me that many years that's enough for anybody all right anybody anybody else over 35 30 anybody between 30 and 35 okay between 25 and 30 hold your hand up before you sit down between 25 and 30 somebody back there has her hand up okay diana your husband already left you you see you shouldn't have asked for a car how many years have been diana that's lisa well it's dark in here okay lisa your husband left you okay how long you been married 25 25 hey how about a round of applause for that i'm sorry i see diana now sorry about that all right now who's been but that's over nobody else is 25 or above yet okay 20 to 25 we probably knocked down a few here okay tell me how long 22 years uh tim did he say 25 jeff 24 i want to be invited to some 25 year parties amen all right how about another round of applause for those three amen praise the lord 20 to 25 all right let's get 15 to 20 now 15 to 20 who does that get rid of all right evan how long you don't ask evan do not ask 18 you had to ask i saw you cheating all right how about a round of applause for 18 years in evan there man we get to the young couples now all right so 10 to 15 anybody between 10 and 15 years okay between ronald how many years 13 years all right round of applause for mr 13 there okay now then five between what those years uh the 19 year family all right praise the lord all right let's go from five to 10 let me see how many were from five to 10 i don't want to get a few of you brother trent how long six years this saturday poor lady all right who else how many years seven how many years six anybody else that mean five five years uh yes just say five or six six years all right round of applause for all of
[4:04] them now then just so i can get peyton good we'll do this everybody from one year to four years uh raise your hand tell me how long you've been married one year to four years two three i can't hear you robert five this october four okay now if you're how old paul two two okay y'all sit down oh look at these newlyweds how about a round of applause for these newlyweds all right uh you get you got to be pushing what a long time like five months four four months and all right round of applause for them praise the lord all right that's pretty sweet stuff amen i am so proud of every one of you and i thank god for you now look in the bible to ecclesiastes chapter five let me just say this to you we're going to read a passage of scripture about making a vow we call them vows when we take our marriage we talk call them vows you do know that there's nothing you could do that would bring a curse on you that would take you out of favor with god but if you're smart enough to know anything you know this if you're not a man or woman of your word there are consequences to that here on this planet and you're not going to lose your salvation your salvation is not based on whether or not your marriage makes it or it's not based on whether or not you keep your word you could tell a lie and if you're told a lie you wouldn't lose your salvation but you ought to know something that every time a marriage every time you every time you don't tell the truth anywhere you're going to it's going to cause a problem lying is just not for us we are people of the truth is that a fact amen and the bible said that we're to say yay yay and nay nay we don't have you know we don't have to swear about what we're doing uh i grew up i grew up i spent 20 years among a people who would regularly say to you tell a little uh and they would put their hands together and put their fingers together like they were making a cross and put on their mouth tell a little so that's how i swear it to you on my mama's grave i swear it to you on something else and americans are just as bad about it i don't know all the ways we do it because i hadn't been around it as much as i was in pru but you know what we don't have to ever do that because we tell the truth can you say amen right there now read with me what the bible says in ecclesiastes read with me what the bible says ecclesiastes chapter 5 verses 1 through 6 and let's talk about our marriage commitment keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of god and be more ready to hear than to give the sacrifice of fools for thou for they consider not that they do evil they're doing wrong be not rash with your mouth and let not thine heart be hasty to utter anything before god for god is in heaven and thou upon earth therefore let thy words be few for a dream cometh through the multitude of business and a fool's voice is known by the multitude of words when thou vowest to vow unto god defer not to pay it for he hath no pleasure in fools pay that which thou has vowed better is it that thou shouldest not vow than that thou shouldest vow and not pay suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin neither say thou before the angel that it was an error i made a mistake wherefore should god be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands that is an awesomely terrible passage of scripture if you think about it look at the last verse again suffer not do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin neither say thou before the angel it was a mistake it was an error i messed up why would you want god to be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands father i pray now that you would help us as we even sit together
[8:06] to reassure our spouse that we gave our word we did it tonight in front of witnesses again and we did it before you and we mean it divorce is not an option getting out of our marriage is not an option we made promises to love in good times and bad when things are going good when things are going bad we did it to when we got money and when we don't have money we've made a promise before you and lord i pray you'd help us as a church and as a people to honor our marriage vows and i will give you praise and honor glory for all that you do in jesus precious name amen just a few things the marriage commitment is a covenant not a contract if you write things down you might want to write that down it's a covenant not a contract you know you make contracts because contracts are based on distrust covenants are based on trust you make a contract because i want you to swear and promise under penalty of law that you will take care of your end of the bargain you will pay me this much an hour you will pay on delivery whatever there's a contract and we make a contract because i don't know what you'll do and so when i rent a house when i rent a house from a person in pru they write me a contract and i would rent that house when i bought my house good night the contract was extremely long because we're getting a loan and the bank they've got everything in there they don't trust me and they're going to get everything when it's over they got a contract but you got married and in the bible terms you are married by covenant and a covenant is not based on distrust it's based on trust it's based on believing each other it's based on love it's a promise made between two people before god our marriage covenant is a promise made before two a bit before god by two people so watch what the bible says if you would ecclesiastes 5 1 and 2 first thing the promises we make the promises we make he said i want you to only make a few i'd rather y'all not make a lot of promises and that's why you don't hear me make high pressure demands on you for anything really because we're not to make a lot of promises look at ecclesiastes 5 1 and 2 keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of god and be more ready to hear than to give the sacrifice of fools for they consider not that they do evil don't come in to god's place this is the old testament and this was written to israel but it's still applicable to us in many ways don't come to god saying i'm here i'm going to do all these things don't run in where fools would fear to fear to tread and run your mouth too much realizing you're going to make a mistake verse 2 be not rash with your mouth don't say things you haven't thought out and not not that thine heart be hasty to utter anything for before god for god is in heaven and thou upon earth therefore let thy words be few don't make promises you you can you can tell me something i can tell you something and we can snow each other i can tell you something and i can twist it and make and fix it where i didn't say what i really said but you're on earth he's in heaven you're a human and he is god he said don't make a lot of promises he said don't make a lot of promises and you you know what we end up doing as christians and somewhere along the way we think we can make all these we think we can make all these promises to god when our finances are in trouble we say god if you will but do this i will do this and we are so quick to rush in and make a promise and he said don't do that take take and be careful about making promises the second thing he says about those promises is verse 4 and 5 look at ecclesiastes 4 5 4 and 5 when thou vowest a vow when you make a promise to god when you make a vow to god defer not to pay it don't decide not to keep your word for he had no pleasure in fools pay that which
[12:15] thou has vowed better is it that thou shouldest not vow than that thou shouldest vow and not pay now please understand you remember old testament do you remember a guy named jephthah that makes a promise that the next person or thing that comes through his door he will sacrifice and then in walks his daughter you don't run your mouth you don't make big promises and you know one of the biggest promises you've ever made in your life and i hope you thought it out and if you hadn't it's really too late you want to be serious about this and tonight you did make it and that is i made a promise to my wife again that i love her i have repeated that to her this is our 38th year of marriage we've done so many wedding renewals i've been known to do three or four in a year i probably made this promise her a hundred times by now that i am her husband i'm going to continue to be her husband he said don't make many promises but when you make them keep them and that'll be the way it is isn't it shouldn't that be the way it is i mean don't you think you ought to be able to trust somebody when they say something don't you think it ought to it would that i want to know that betty said that to me and i want to know that betty meant that to me so he says keep it quiet keep it quiet or keep it either don't make the promise or keep the promise and then look if you would in verse six and look at the consequences of not keeping your promise verse six says suffer not thy mouth that means don't let your mouth but don't allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin neither say thou before the angel that it was an error wherefore should god be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands he said there are consequences for not keeping your promises or your vows now let me explain something to you god has already put all of our faults and all of our failures on jesus on the cross of calvary we don't live under dread we don't live under threat we're not god is not in any way trying to hold heavy heavy over your head but i will let you know something there are consequences and you know there are consequences if you promise to pay on the house and you don't pay on the house you'll lose the house i mean that's a consequence you're sitting out the street you don't have a house and you're saying i don't know why that happened i can tell you why it happened you made a promise you didn't keep the promise i could tell you the story of a man and a woman who made a promise to each other to be married and that promise was very strong and i i've got a half a dozen stories running through my head right now they made the promise they meant it it wasn't something they took lightly they went to church in fact as i performed more than one wedding where this happened they went in the church they made a promise they had counseling they knew what they were saying they knew what they were doing and then after a while in one case that i'm thinking about the woman began to have other friends outside of marriage not sure if he did very likely he did also and the next thing you know they're divorced they didn't fulfill their vow you say well how did god destroy the works of their hands there's never a marriage that breaks up that doesn't rip your heart you can't be wedded together welded together and expect it not to hurt it hurts no you won't lose your salvation no you won't go to hell and no god's not angry gonna kill you that's not the point but your hand your work's being destroyed then the children don't want to talk to the mom or they don't want to talk to the dad or they go between the two and they keep figuring out the works of their hands have been destroyed all of a sudden the kids that were so loving have had to choose and one week they're on the one side of the family and the other week they're on the other side of the family or maybe it's like one friend of mine who's who who told me that his parents being divorced really worked good for him he told me he said my parents being divorced was a good thing he said when my daddy bought me this i went to my mother and said that's what dad got i'm gonna go to his house unless you got more and he worked them and it destroys their pocket book it destroys the relationship so he said
[16:22] don't make a vow unless you're going to keep it and the truth is that when people's marriages break up it hurts it hurts terribly it hurts the man it hurts the woman it hurts the children it hurts the children because they're not sure who they're supposed to love it hurts the children because the greatest security net they ever had was their mom and their dad and now they're divorced i'm not angry with you and i would tell you that no matter what you're going through where you're at i would try to love you and help you but this is a warning message we make a vow we keep our vow can you say amen right there you should you should let your wife know i said it i'm in it i love you and i'm going to keep my word you should let your husband know i said it i'm in it and i'm going to keep my word i gave my word we call them wedding vows it's based on passages just like this it's a promise we made before god and if you don't think that it hurts no matter who you are betty and i betty and i years ago i probably told this one here preached too many places even since i preached about this the last time we were we were downstairs and i think i told you i built a wall in the basement i don't know what i'm doing so i built this wall and uh we were moving the deep freezer and i fell and i hurt my chin and i mean it nearly knocked me out and betty kept yelling to me what's wrong are you okay what's wrong are you okay and she kept yelling at me and saying that and i looked at her and i said shut up i don't have time to answer that kind of question i didn't say that i just said shut up and she said well forgive me for caring and i said i'm dying and you're bugging me she kept yelling at me she kept what's wrong what's wrong you're all right and so anyway then when i said the next time i said just shut up she walked out of the out of the room with the wall that i built there slammed the door when she slammed the door in my sweet gentle way that i am i reached up and hit that door both hands and everything i had and the whole wall came down now i know you're not even laughing about betty and was she hurt you're laughing about me being a lousy carpenter but you know what was really bad was upstairs when betty got upstairs our children were in their bedrooms on their knees praying their parents wouldn't get a divorce that really happened they were praying their parents wouldn't get a divorce when you make a promise the bible says you ought to keep it don't make many promises don't run your mouth without thinking don't tell god you're going to do stuff and you made a promise and you got married keep your promise second thing i'd like to show you about marriage and these promises is found in first corinthians chapter 10 and verse 6 and that is one of the things in the bible about marriage is that marriage is the picture of something very special and we always mention it but we never take it as serious as god takes it now you understand that if you've been through a divorce i love you and you're forgiven by god and um nobody ought to hold that against you i'm not trying to in any way say that but we don't believe in divorce i mean if those of you been through a divorce probably believe in it less than those who haven't been through it my brother's been through a divorce and he told me nobody has told me i don't believe in a divorce i've been through one i don't believe in divorce and when he got married the second time he said to his in the vows he said to his new wife and she said to him we will not get a divorce they took him a lot more seriously the second time through but in in the bible there are these things called types or pictures that god uses and so he does things to show us pictures and if you would look in first corinthians chapter 10 in verse 6 and you'll see where he says that in the verse he says in verse 6 now these things were our examples to the intent we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted and he's telling the story about the children of israel and how they got upset about only having manna and they wanted quail and they whined and complained about it and they end up 30 something thousand of them end up dying there were consequences
[20:22] for it and then he tells us in the new testament guys all these things were in say are examples to you they're pictures for you so you can understand something look at verse 11 in verse 11 he said now all these things happen unto them for in samples and they are written for our admonition and upon whom the ends of the world are come all these things happened for in samples in other words god said i'm going to let you see the consequences and if you study your bible and i hope you're reading your bible through this year again and if you're not i hope you get started on it and you're reading it you're going to read all kinds of stories you're going to read about a husband and a wife and how they played favorites with their children and how it destroyed their family and how they split their kids up you're going to read about a man who wasn't loyal to his wife and ask her to lie and take the risk of being raped and you're going to see the consequences you're going to find out about a guy named solomon who had a thousand wives and you're going to see how it took his heart away from god you're going to find out about all these problems that are happening in the bible because god gave them his pictures so you could learn he didn't just say he didn't just say don't show partiality with your kids he gave us a story so we could see what happens when that happens he didn't just say he didn't just say a husband and one wife he said let me show you some fools who married a bunch of women and how it hurt them so our god has given us pictures to help us see it and one of those pictures is marriage but let me show you one that's very clear in the bible and then what happened so you'll get the picture look if you would in first corinthians chapter 10 and verse 4 which is probably where you still are and look what it says and did not all drink the same spiritual drink for they drank of that spiritual rock that followed them that rock was christ now he's talking about their time in the wilderness do you remember the time in the wilderness and there was a rock that was in the wilderness and now paul says the holy spirit says through paul that rock was christ that rock was jesus he was there in the old testament the rock and he followed them in the old testament he was there in more than one place and he was the rock jesus do you remember a story that's told in numbers chapter 20 verses 1 through 13 and i won't take the time to read it with you but that one time moses has already been sent out and he's been told go strike the rock and i'll have water come out of it and so moses goes and he strikes the rock and water comes out of the rock and the people all drink and then in numbers chapter 20 in verse 8 he says moses go to the rock and speak to the rock go to the rock and speak to the rock he didn't tell him to strike the rock he told him to speak to the rock and he said in water will come forth well moses i you know i don't know what's going on in the boy's head i don't know if he's gotten egotistical and proud and really thinks he's somebody but he walks out there and he kind of fusses at the people and he stands up and he takes his rod and he hits the rock two times he hits the rock two times and god got so angry that he said you will not be allowed to go into the promised land you will not be allowed to go into the promised land he's been leading these people for 40 years he gets them over to the edge of the promised land and he lets him go up and stand on mount nebo and cast an eye over into the promised land and see it but he doesn't let him go and you know why he didn't let him go well moses said it's because y'all made me angry and i hit the rock but the real reason was he hit the rock and the rock was jesus and the rock was jesus and jesus only gets struck once he only dies once there are no there is no multiple deaths of jesus there is no multiple sufferings of jesus he did it once and for all and said it's finished and it was done and he was making a picture he said how do you know that first corinthians chapter 10 he said that
[24:23] rock was jesus and so he didn't get into the promised land why because he messed up a picture and when you mess up the picture there are consequences god had a purpose he was trying to get across in chapter moses numbers chapter 20 and verse 12 he said and the lord spake unto moses and aaron because you believe me not to sanctify me to make me holy in the eyes of the children of israel therefore you shall not bring this congregation in the land which i have given them verse 11 it said and moses lifted up his hand with his rod he smote the rock twice and the water came out and the congregation drank and their beast also notice some things moses did get the water out of the rock even though he obeyed god was gracious god was kind and he let the water come even though moses had obeyed you might get what you want you might get what you want when you do wrong but you will probably miss out on some blessings that could be yours he was not permitted to enter into the promised land he lost the blessing of god on his life not all of it god still blessed him a lot but you can you have to admit that a man who has lived now 120 years with the thought in mind since he's been a small child his mother raising him that i'm leading the nation of israel out of egypt across the wilderness to the promised land i'm the deliverer that's what his name is drawn out of water his name is deliverer he's the guy who's going to take him across the promised land when he's 40 he knows that and goes out and tries to lead them messes up when he's 80 he finally comes and takes him out and he takes him across the promise across to the promised land but he doesn't get to go in that's the attitude that god will have if we destroy his type in marriage you understand god's type in marriage i'll show you that in just a second you know that god's type in marriage just it's not just a coincidence but in ephesians chapter 5 god makes it clear that men you represent jesus you represent jesus you can never be disloyal to your wife because jesus is never disloyal to his people now you're not going to be perfect like jesus obviously but if you ever noticed what he said to the people he said to the man he said you love your wife like christ loved the church and christ gave his life for the church and he just really gets it right in their face he tells the woman woman you're like the you're like the church and you're to submit to your husband as the church submits to christ in other words there's a big picture here marriage is not just and you know this answers a whole lot of your political questions marriage can't be between two men marriage can't be other what two women the whole point is there's a man jesus there's a church though a woman and there's a relationship there and he doesn't want that type destroyed look if you would with me what happens when you don't fulfill your vows according to ecclesiastes 5 6 in ecclesiastes 5 6 it says suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin neither say thou before the angel that it was an error wherefore should god be angry at thy voice and destroy the work of thine hands don't make don't flippantly lightly say i made a mistake by the way that's why things like a wedding vow renewal is very worthwhile because you do need to get civil enough with each other you can stand in front of a church and hold hands and look each other in the eye and say i love you and kiss in front of everybody that's why a marriage retreat is pretty important because i want to work on my marriage all the time so you see i this is a special relationship that god gave me i want to work on that this relationship is a picture of jesus and his church and i'm not going to take you through ephesians chapter 5 but you start reading ephesians chapter 5 verse 25 and you'll find that the husband
[28:27] represents christ and he goes through the whole story he tells the woman three times to submit to her husband he tells the man three times to love his wife and then when he gets through in verse 32 or 33 he says this and i'm not really talking about man and wife here i'm talking about jesus in the church and of the whole time you're reading the passage you think he's talking about a man and his wife but you see it's something far bigger than that and we're a small picture of it before i go on i'll get you up very close on time but before i go ladies you realize that the beautiful the beautiful thing of submission that's in the bible is like the church submitting to jesus it's like worship it's like man i love you honey i adore you honey you're like you're like god's gift to me you realize men that that you're part of that marriage relationship is like jesus uh with the church and he says i love you so much i will die for you i love you so much i would never hurt you i love you so much you can always depend on me it's the most beautiful thing you can imagine marriage is a picture of jesus and the church there's no more beautiful picture in the bible than that now look if you would with me in the last passage of scripture malachi chapter 2 you see in god's eyes when you break your marriage vows it is disloyalty it is treacherous it is treason i don't know if the young people are still taught the things i was taught but in the beginning of our country there was a traitor he committed treason what's his name benedict arnold he went down as being a famous traitor i'm sure he would say he made a mistake and in today's society there are even stories that would try to cover up for it but you know that poor guy's he didn't he's not going down as exactly a hero in history and look at the word that jesus uses the holy spirit uses the father uses because it's the word of god and not the word of man this thing of our marriage is serious business no you're not going to lose your salvation don't you dare go out here say man i didn't know i could lose my salvation if i messed up in my marriage that's not the point but buddy you can get hurt there are consequences here on earth it takes years to get over if you ever get totally over it malachi 2 14 says yet you say wherefore because the lord has been witnessed between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou has dealt treacherously she yet she is thy companion the wife of thy covenant would you look at the verse with me and there's beautiful stuff here let's focus on the beautiful just a second did you know the lord was witness to your promise to your spouse in peru when you get married and i've been to a lot of peruvian weddings and i've been the witness in a lot of peruvian weddings and a peruvian wedding that you got to have a witness with a man and a witness with a woman and they sign the papers and you sign the papers everybody signing all these papers and you're signing them in front of the the mayor or the mayor somebody in the mayor's office the government's office that's a that's overcome that's overseeing this and i have been a witness and by the way if you get to be the witness you are honored that you would be allowed to be the witness but can i tell you what's happening here god was the witness to your wedding it wasn't a light thing it wasn't something superficial this wasn't a handshake this isn't a friendship covenant this isn't a friendship ring this isn't something that's lightly taken i am married i gave my promise and god was witness to my promise look if you would it says this she's your companion look at that word isn't that a sweet word she's your companion this is the person god made for you go back to the garden
[32:31] of eden and think about how beautiful it was there was adam and there was eve and everything was beautiful and everything was perfect god did something special when he made adam and he made eve and then it says she's the wife of thy covenant not contract remember she's the wife of your promise your mutual trust that you have in each other but then look at the dirty words there's some dirty words in there there's some there's some triple x words in this verse he said against whom thou hast dealt can you say that word with me treacherously treacherously you have acted out an act of treason your wife ought never ever catch you being disloyal to her it's treason it's treacherous it's a horrible thing your husband should never catch that happening that verse 15 and did not he make one yet had he residue of the spirit wherefore one that he might seek a godly seed therefore take heed to your spirit and let none don't let any of you guys none of you guys deal treacherously against the wife of your youth betty and i have now been married 38 38 and a half years and here's what he's saying austin you married her when you was a boy don't come telling me you made a mistake don't come telling me it's time for you to get another girlfriend don't come telling me you're going to trade her in you're going to trade her she's a 50 so you'll trade her in for 225 don't you come telling me that don't you dare say that don't you deal treacherously you gave your word you gave your word and god was witness don't deal treacherously with the wife of your youth verse 16 how does god feel about divorce you ready for this verse for the lord the god of israel saith he hateth putting away so let's circle around putting away draw a line to the margin of your bible and write divorce god hates it when men put their wives away in the old testament women weren't even allowed to put their husbands away but men could put their wives away he said i hate it so you want to know what the position ought to be of this pastor of this church and of every one of us we hate putting away for one covereth violence with his garments says the lord of hosts therefore take heed to your spirit take heed to your spirit that you deal not treacherously it ought to be considered extremely important to you to keep your wedding vows it ought to be considered extremely important you know we took what eight minutes seven eight minutes to do some wedding vows tonight i've been in weddings it didn't take 15 minutes it's not the amount of time and it's not the words you say it's the attitude of your heart and the attitude of your spirit that you look at your spouse and say this is till death do us part you say i don't remember what we said i don't really care if you do or not god knows and you should admit it and you should honor it you say well why do we why do we do wedding vows every day every year since you know we're not supposed to make a lot of vows we're only making one i mean good night that's not a lot and you ought to be able to tell your wife i mean it i love you the day's coming maybe like a lady in the church i pastored who had uh scleroderma and her hands shrunk down to her fingers were no longer than to the first uh
[36:32] joint on your hand and her mouth sunk all the way back and her body was bent over and she finally died years ago now and her husband's still alive you know what though you know what jesus would say well i'd love you if you got messed up i'd love you if something went wrong look at your wife and tell her boy i love you baby baby i love you till death do us part in sickness or in health with whether we're rich or whether we're poor whether things are going good or whether they're going bad baby my word was genuine my word was sincere i meant it when i said it god himself will testify against us i say all this not to be a threatening mean ugly independent baptist preacher but to remind you buddy this is serious business and if you didn't participate your spouse wasn't here or you didn't feel like participating that's fine nothing's there but this is here for all of us it's big business it's serious that when we get married marriage ought never be lightly entered into every young person in our church ought to realize boy don't you even think about getting married until you're willing to say this is the rest of my life this is the rest of my life you may say to me well you know what marriages sometimes mess up and end end up bad they may but you and i make a promise i'm here through the bad till we come out on the other end this is not hey you're going to fuss and fight and act like like a mad dogs to each other sometime but there's one thing that keep you together when you say this oh i know we meant it i have a lesson i i just taught the guys at this marriage retreat on how to fight how do you fight as a couple you know what the first step is your partner must know that no matter what happens you'll still be married when it's over because you made a promise and you keep your word so let me just ask you to remember tonight that marriage is an extremely special thing and that the little wedding vows you said they meant everything and god himself was witness let me remind every young person here don't you get married unless you're going to take it seriously they remind all of you the fact is if your marriage is in trouble you should come looking for help you should say i need somebody to talk to because i'm going to fix my marriage don't take your marriage lightly i want to say this because i want to make it clear number one if you're already divorced what's behind you is behind you we can't do anything about it but you're married somebody now you ought to tell them it's forever from here on forward might have messed up i didn't know what i know now and i just made your promise baby and i mean it and then i want to say quickly here i want you to understand that there aren't any eternal consequences to divorce and if you did mess up i don't want you to dare think tonight boy he's putting works on us no but you ought to know this if your marriage breaks up the works of your hands are destroyed many times people go through divorces you know the other end of the divorce they're bankrupt or close to it she takes he takes they fight he tears up she tears up let's be honest the work of your hands gets destroyed let's be honest your children get their hearts ripped out of their chest it ought not be even named among us we ought to mean it honey i love you i am going to be yours my one and only wedded wife until death do us part only one way out of this one of us has to die and no murders allowed
[40:34] say amen say amen it's truth this is big business biggest decision a man ever makes after salvation is who he's going to marry you can change jobs if you can change churches if you're a pastor you can change countries if you're a missionary you might go through 25 jobs in your lifetime but god has a plan in his book it's one woman one man one woman one lifetime would you repeat that with me and i'm through well would you say that one man one woman one lifetime say it again why did he sell the pastor he had to be the husband of one wife why did he tell the deacon he had to be the husband of one wife why did he tell the widow who was put into the list of widows in first timothy she had to be the wife of one husband it's a big deal to god it's a big deal to god well i hope you make it a big deal valentine's make it a big deal it's not about money you spend or any of that kind of stuff it's just make it a big deal make it a big deal our society screams oh you can take them and leave them you can go through husbands like you go through underwear you can go through wives like you go through no sir not us the world may be like that but we're not like that because our jesus never ever leaves us never abandons us he has given us a beautiful wonderful example father in heaven i love you i thank you for the chance to be with your people tonight i just pray your richest blessings on every one of them thank you for every person who made a vow tonight i pray god you just bless their sweet relationship to have help it to grow sweeter help every man to mean business with his wife every woman to mean business with her husband cause our young people to realize the seriousness of getting married and to never get married if they're not willing to make a lifetime commitment god honor yourself and magnify yourself in our lives you have been listening to austin gardner pastor of vision baptist church for contact information location service times or more audio and video recordings log on to www.visionbaptist.com to have been a pleasure