Lesson 6 Commandment 5

[0:00] Well, as we walk into this fifth commandment, I wanted to just tell you a little story of something that happened when I was in sixth grade. For some reason, I had this moment where I decided that this was okay.

[0:17] I don't know why, but I'm standing in the lunch line, and the lunch line went around this way into the area to get our lunch. And back this direction was the hallway, and our principal had two doors into his office, one back door so he could just get out, and then the main door here.

[0:35] And the hallway, as you look down, you could see the door, his back door, where he could just get out and escape. And my friend and I were standing there, and we happened to look down, and we saw Mr. Dunn coming out of his office.

[0:49] And for some reason, we decided it was a great idea to say, Mr. Dunn. And he turned and looked at us and said, you bozo.

[1:08] Now, I was sixth grade. Old enough to know better. Now, I'm not sure what was worse.

[1:22] Getting the pop? Or him chuckling the whole time while he was giving us the pop? I'm not sure which. But he impressed upon us the importance that even if we didn't like him, we needed to treat the office of principal with respect.

[1:42] And that kind of gets us into looking at this commandment that I feel like most of the time, we've got a pretty good handle on what this means in a lot of ways.

[1:52] But there are some nuances that I think are important for us to bring in, things for us to answer because of the way our culture is. So, this particular commandment is in Exodus 20, verse 12.

[2:04] Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. It's also in Deuteronomy 5. Why? This is a side rabbit for a second.

[2:18] And why is it also in Deuteronomy 5? Let me ask you this. Does anybody know what the word Deuteronomy stands for, what it means?

[2:32] Okay, what do you see in the first four letters? Duet. Right? Which is two. Anony is law. So, it's second law.

[2:45] In other words, this is the generation. These are the children who came out of Egypt. These are the children born on the way. And after all the adults died in the wilderness, Moses gives the law a second time to the new generation.

[3:02] So, that's why in Deuteronomy 5, you've got the repeat of the Ten Commandments. Because he's giving the law. He's giving the second law. He's giving it a second time.

[3:12] Okay? So, if you're ever curious, you know, okay, see the law in Exodus and Leviticus. You can always go to Deuteronomy and get some commentary on it as well. He's going further and deeper sometimes.

[3:24] So, in Deuteronomy then, it says this. Honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God commanded that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

[3:36] And then, we all know that Paul uses it in Ephesians. Ephesians. Children, obey your parents of the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.

[3:47] That it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. So, I have a few questions about this that I want us to just walk through and try to answer.

[3:58] The first question I have is this idea of who is the father and the mother. Now, I think this is an important question because in a day and age in which we live where you have adoption is quite prolific.

[4:14] You have grandparents raising their grandkids. You have some co-parenting between, say, divorced couples or couples that were never married.

[4:26] And in that co-parenting, it becomes a co-triangle with a father, a mother, and a grandparent or an aunt or an uncle. Or sometimes you have an aunt and uncle who have to take in a child and raise them.

[4:38] Or you've got a child in the foster system and they are now in a home and they've got someone that's over them. Or you have a kid that's in a children's home and they've got a house parent that's there.

[4:50] When we say, honor your father and mother, it would be pretty easy for a kid to look at that and go like, well, you're not my mom. And so we need to kind of answer the question, well, who is this?

[5:00] How do we know who this is as we are walking through it? Now, I think all of us would have the knee-jerk reaction that says, if I ask the question, should a kid in a children's home honor the house parents that are over them?

[5:18] I think most everybody would have the knee-jerk answer, yes. Then if I ask you the question, how do you know that? That they're not the Lord as a parent because that's what we've been taught there in a family.

[5:34] They're authority to be here. They're authority to be here. They're taking care of it. And these are all good answers. What I want to do is I want to give us a nice, big, firm foundation as to why we say that.

[5:45] Because you're not wrong. You're right. But let's look at a further, deeper, larger base to work with, right? Because what we want to do is we want to answer questions biblically.

[5:56] We, our first, when somebody says, well, how do you know that? We want to be able to say, well, in the Bible, and then we have lots to say. Okay? So, so here's what I want to do.

[6:07] I want to look at the historical context. Okay? So let's think about who it is that is being talked to here in Exodus 20, verse 12. Who gives the Ten Commandments?

[6:21] Moses. God. God. God. God. And gives them to Moses. And Moses turns around and gives them to? The people. The people. Okay. Who is Moses' mother?

[6:35] Mary. Mary. Mary. Is this your son? Biologically? Or the one that raised him? Perfect example. There you go.

[6:46] Who raised Moses? Pharaoh's daughter. Pharaoh's daughter. That was his mother. So can you imagine Moses hearing from the Lord, and the Lord is saying, honor your father and your mother.

[6:57] And he's going, which one? And the answer is, well, yes. Like, that's the historical context, is that Moses, the lawgiver, was adopted. Right?

[7:09] So this commandment comes to an adopted kid. And now he's giving this out. So I just say that that's the context. What does that mean?

[7:19] I don't really know what that means, but I do think it's important to state that out there and see that. The second thing is to think about some parallel passages that are related just to the term father and mother.

[7:33] Okay? Just some interesting things. For example, this is the story of Joseph. Joseph, you know, went into Egypt because his brother sold him into slavery.

[7:44] The Pharaoh saw a dream, and the dream is going to be seven years of abundance, seven years of famine. Joseph interprets the dream and tells Pharaoh what he ought to do to prepare for this.

[7:56] Okay? Okay? And so once his brothers come, and he reveals that he's their long-lost brother, and they sold him into slavery, they're scared, but here's what he tells them. He says, so it was not you who sent me here, but God.

[8:10] He has made me a father to Pharaoh and Lord of all of his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. He's a father to Pharaoh.

[8:22] He told Pharaoh what to do in order to help him know how to deal with the trouble that was going to come to him. He did what a father does. He gave good, godly advice so that he could know how he ought to live.

[8:37] So that's just an interesting thing, that father is meant to be someone who's like that. Let's think of the word mother. So in Judges chapter 5, we have Deborah.

[8:52] And Deborah was acting as a judge and she called on Barak to deliver God's people. And as that began to take place and they succeeded, a song, there was this song of Deborah, it's in chapter 5.

[9:08] And in it, she says this. She says, the villagers ceased in Israel. They ceased to be until I arose. I, Deborah, arose as a mother in Israel.

[9:19] As a mother in Israel. Now, this is where this might blow your minds just a little bit. What was Deborah?

[9:34] Okay, that is the common misconception. She was not a judge. But the scriptures tell us that she was judging. She acted as a judge.

[9:47] And here's how you know this. The guy Barak, in Hebrews chapter 11 in the Hall of Faith, the writer records three judges. And one of them is Barak and not Deborah.

[10:01] Barak was the guy who was supposed to be the judge. But he was being disobedient. And Deborah called him to account. She was doing the job he should have been doing.

[10:12] That's why she rose as a mother. She took that leadership position in order to call him to account because he wasn't doing what he ought to be doing. Right? He was the judge.

[10:24] And she then acted as mother in Israel. A person over others. A person who's in authority. A person doing something to benefit the other people.

[10:34] I also put in here just the concept and the thought of the book of Ruth. Right? Ruth is not biologically connected to Naomi.

[10:47] Yet Naomi is constantly calling Ruth her daughter. And Ruth so loves and honors Naomi that she goes to the foreign land from where she's from.

[11:01] Back to Naomi's homeland to live with Naomi. She goes out and works the fields to provide for Naomi. She even, because of her kindness, finds a husband who then, because of their marriage, she's able to further care for Naomi.

[11:17] Naomi is her mother in the sense that Ruth is caring for. Even though they're not biologically related. And Naomi is not an adoptive parent.

[11:29] She's a mother-in-law. And once her husband dies, there's no longer any connection there relationally. But yet, Ruth still treats her as her own mother.

[11:40] And so, what we get, to me, as we look at these kinds of things, is we get just a bigger glimpse of this idea, what's behind the words father and mother.

[11:52] Now, let's talk about the literary structure of the Ten Commandments. How many commandments are in the Ten Commandments? Ten. Ten.

[12:03] Oh, ten. Okay. Okay, great. Now, how many have we talked about so far? Four. Today is number five here. So, we have five left after today.

[12:16] The five that we have not talked about. Let's list them real quick. What's the sixth one? Do not murder. Do not commit adultery.

[12:29] Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not cut it. Okay. That has to do between you and other people.

[12:42] Other humans. It's a horizontal relationship. Now, it does affect your relationship between you and God. But primarily, if I'm going to murder somebody, it's some other human.

[12:53] If I'm going to commit adultery, that's between me and this person and my wife, right? So, you see how that works. It's a horizontal relationship. Now, the first four commandments, that's about us and God, right?

[13:08] So, it's no other gods. No images. You know, not take the name of the Lord God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day. That's the vertical relationship. Here's the question.

[13:18] The fifth commandment. Which is it? It is both. Now, how is it like the horizontal relationship between humans?

[13:34] Right. Exactly. I'm supposed to honor these humans over here. Now, here's the tricky question. How is it about God? Because he's our God.

[13:48] Okay. You know, that's interesting. Everybody last night said that same thing. I think that's probably true, too. But that is not what I thought. You know what I'm saying? Like, the way, where my mind went is the promise that's given in the commandment.

[14:03] God is giving a promise based upon what happens in the horizontal. And so, that promise is coming from him. And so, that's where we see a direct connection.

[14:15] God is saying to you. And the connection is really from God to us and not us to God. Right? It's a very interesting kind of commandment. It lays in this place in between the two.

[14:28] Okay. That's, that's, I think that's why this commandment, though it talks about father and mother, ends up being something a larger scale because it involves this whole gambit of both sides of the horizontal and the vertical.

[14:45] And then the last piece is a theological reflection. And what I mean by that is we're going to look at a passage. And from this passage, we get a theological thought. And we take that theological thought back into this commandment and we understand this commandment.

[15:00] So, here's, here's the verse. Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. This is Romans 13, 1. For there is no authority except from God. And those that have existed have been instituted by God.

[15:12] There is no authority except from God. That theological thought ought to then give us an answer as to who is my father and mother.

[15:28] And the answer to the question, this is the way I would answer it, is any divinely appointed authority. So, so from one perspective, as we teach our kids to honor your father and mother, we're telling them you ought to honor your father and mother because they are the divinely appointed authority for you as a kid.

[15:52] But then every other authority in our life is also divinely appointed. So, what happens is that the, the fifth commandment is a basis that starts and is primarily applicable to the child parent relationship, but then becomes a example or a challenge, if you will, that every other authority relationship I have should follow suit.

[16:20] I should honor that authority. And we see that all through scripture. We see where he tells us, you know, in first Peter to honor the king. And we see, you know, how we're supposed to, uh, first Thessalonians five verse 12, we're supposed to respect those who are over us in Christ.

[16:34] Speaking about the elders of the church. There is authority in every area of life. We, there is, there is the authority of government, the authority of the family and the authority of the church.

[16:45] And what we're supposed to do, mother and father, it's not simply because, so, so, so answer this question. You look at your kids, go back, go back in your days when your kids were at home, right?

[16:57] And you look at them. Or you're, you're talking to a grandchild, right? And the grandchild's being disobedient to their parents. And you're trying to tell them they need to obey their parents. Or you're looking at your kid way back in the day and saying, you need to obey me.

[17:11] Why? Why should they obey you? Because I said so? Nope. Wrong. Because I'm bigger than you? That's not going to last long.

[17:22] Because I'm stronger than you? Well, that's not going to last long. Because I'm smarter than you. I'm smarter than you. Well, that might be true. It might stay that way.

[17:33] But that's still about the basis. The basis of being able to tell a kid that they have to obey you is because God has divinely appointed you. Views their authority. And so it comes into the church as well.

[17:46] As a pastor, I have a certain amount of authority, right? And we'll come back to this in a little bit. But the reason that I should be able to say to somebody, you need to listen to what I'm saying, is because, not because I'm the pastor, not because I'm smart, and not because I'm good looking.

[17:59] Although I am all those things. It's because, and humble, yeah. It's because, it's because I'm the divinely appointed authority.

[18:12] That's why. There's nothing special about me. It's because of what God has established. Why should you respect our president? Even if you don't like his policies, why should you respect him?

[18:24] Because, like it or not, he is the divinely appointed authority. Woo, man. Digging. We'll come back to that, though, okay?

[18:36] We'll come back to that. Another thing that I would say before we get to the idea of honor is that what we learn about respecting and honoring authority in the home bleeds over into the rest of our lives.

[18:55] You talk to school teachers, right? And they'll tell you that when a kid that they're trying to teach is just ungrueling and disrespectful of authority, they know instinctually it's because they don't actually honor and respect mom at home.

[19:12] There's a problem in that relationship at home. And so I know that's why I'm having this trouble here. I know that we have a grandson. He's got some discipline problems, right?

[19:23] And so there's definitely some issues at home. And so when he comes to stay with us, I'm kind of like, I mean, it's tough sometimes, you know? It's like, how do we manage this? And the point is that it starts in the home and it bleeds out to all areas of life.

[19:38] And so as we raise children, as you think about your own children, what you did, as you think about your grandchildren, I'm going to come back to that in a little bit. One of the things that must be established is to honor that authority means to be completely obedient to that authority, but it also means that that authority has to be honorable.

[20:03] If you think about this, if I go to teach my kids and say, I am your divinely appointed authority, I am placing myself in a position that it's like, oh, I had better, I had better represent God well.

[20:22] If I don't, then I'm abusing my authority. And so this commandment hits at both of those. All right.

[20:33] So, so let me, excuse me. Let me, let me pause, see if you have any questions before we talk about what it is to honor. Good question.

[20:46] This is in the real world. You're talking about, there are people that have same-sex marriages and are raising children and they profess to be Christians. So you've got two males or two females and one is the mother figure and one is the father.

[21:01] This infuses this whole commandment. Because you have somebody that's acting as a woman and then you have one that's acting as a man or vice versa in a lesbian relationship.

[21:14] But people are raising children. Yes, they are. Because you talk about all the different scenarios of families. Those are families too. And they profess to be Christian.

[21:26] They go to church and, but it messes this whole thing. Yeah, yeah. It's because, you know, it's like, it's like, how can I say this and be clear and gentle?

[21:41] Because I want to be firm and forceful with what I say, but I also want to be respectful. So what I would say is that when you get the foundations wrong, further commandments are just sort of like, you can't even almost follow them, right?

[22:01] So if you get marriage wrong, which, you know, some people will call it same-sex marriage. I like to call it so-called same-sex marriage because it's not marriage. Marriage is defined as one man and one woman, right?

[22:15] You don't have poly anything and you don't have people of the same sex. So it's so-called same-sex marriage. And by getting that wrong, then they have no leg to stand on as they come to their child and say, no, God has appointed me as the divinely appointed authority for it.

[22:33] No, you lost that because you've totally messed up marriage. And so you don't have a right, I think, in God's eyes, to be able to come to that child and say that. Now, that doesn't mean that they won't apply certain psychological principles in order to help a kid behave.

[22:50] But when it comes to what the scripture says, I think that they have lost the authority to be able to say that because they have messed up marriage. Does that make sense? Yeah. I get it. I mean, it just exists.

[23:01] Yeah. And you can't ignore it because, I mean, it's in our community. No, that's right. That's right. You know, and while we're here, let me just say that we have to be more wise about what the word says than we've ever needed to be in our culture.

[23:25] We need to know it thoroughly. And then as we engage with people, we have to engage at the level of what is, here's a homosexual couple.

[23:36] What is the worst sin that they're committing? Pride against God. Because they don't want God to tell them who they can and cannot love, if you want to put it in their terms.

[23:48] It's not the homosexuality that's the worst part. That's just a symptom of a deeper problem. And the deeper problem is pride in the heart. And that's something that the gospel speaks to at every level.

[24:00] And that bypasses what the presenting sin is. Does that make sense? So I just want to encourage us that we need to think about it from the, you may have an ick factor about it.

[24:13] You know, and that happens. Because we're raised a certain way, we have an ick factor about it. But the truth of the matter is, is that the problem in the person is that they have a prideful heart that does not wish for God to tell them what to do in their personal lives.

[24:28] And God opposes the proud. But he gives grace to the humble. And the only way that person can be saved is to repent of their pride. If they repent of their pride and begin to let God rule their life, they will eventually have to get out of that relationship.

[24:42] I'd like to mention that promoting their children to become trans. Yeah. This goes on from there.

[24:53] Yeah, that gets to a whole other level of the darkened mind that I think scripture speaks about. So, okay, so let's talk about, those both go, let's chase little rabbits a little bit, but that's good.

[25:06] I think it's good to flesh this out and push the boundaries of the tent just a little bit to see what we're talking about here. Let's talk about what it means to honor. The word honor in Isaiah 6, or excuse me, the word glory in Isaiah 6.

[25:21] I'm sorry, this is so small. I actually meant to redo it. So, anyway, this is Isaiah 6, verses 1 through 5. Right here on the screen is 1 through 3. Right here, this word glory is the same as the word honor in the commandment.

[25:36] Okay, so honor your father and mother and the word glory. Now, let me read this passage for you, and here's what I want you to be listening for as I read it. Listen for how you might feel if you were in Isaiah's shoes.

[25:54] This is a vision Isaiah sees. How might you feel if you saw what Isaiah saw? In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up.

[26:09] And the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings. With two he covered his face. With two he covered his feet. And with two he flew.

[26:19] And one called to another and said, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God of hosts. Or the Lord of hosts. The whole earth is full of his glory. And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called.

[26:34] And the house was filled with smoke. And I said, woe is me, for I am lost. For I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips. For my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.

[26:46] How would you feel seeing this scene? Awe. Fear. So, this word glory, this is what he saw.

[27:03] Right? He saw the Lord's glory. And all of these things that we hear described about God, it's all representative of his glory. The word glory, the Hebrew word is kabod.

[27:15] And it means weightiness. You ever heard the phrase in our culture of somebody who's very important going and throwing their weight around? Right?

[27:26] Their importance is what they're saying. Their importance gets thrown around. They use their importance to bring about influential change in something. Right? So, that's the concept.

[27:37] Glory is the weightiness. So, to honor someone is to treat them as their weight deserves. And we're not talking about, you know, how much they weigh.

[27:48] We're talking about the weight of their person. The importance of their person. And a father and mother are important because of their position. Not because of their person itself.

[28:01] Right? So, a child ought to honor his father and mother because they are father and mother. They're a divinely appointed authority. They've been placed there by God. The weight of that is just dripping with the splendor of God.

[28:16] And so, a child ought to honor them in the weight of that. Does that make sense? Okay. Let's look at an example. Two examples, actually.

[28:29] One is Isaiah. So, Isaiah says, woe. Woe is me. When he sees this. What is the word woe? Sorry. Yeah, there's a sorry.

[28:40] There's a doom. There's a destruction upon me. He says, sorry am I. How terrible am I. I am undone. I am lost. I might as well be ripped apart at the seams.

[28:53] Right? That's his. He's afraid. He is afraid. Okay? Jesus has an interesting view of his father.

[29:04] He says here in this, in John 14, 28. He says, the father is greater than I. So, he looks at his father and he knows that his father is great. Now, now, now don't, don't confuse this with thinking about the Trinity and thinking to yourself that Jesus is not just as much God as the father.

[29:23] That's not what this is talking about. But he is, he's looking at his father and he's showing honor and respect to his father and calling his father great. He says in this verse, he says that I love the father.

[29:37] He loves his father. He has a heart for his father. Right? In chapter 17, when he's praying to his father, he calls his father, holy father.

[29:49] And in verse 30, 25, he calls him righteous father. Jesus is giving honor to his heavenly father, who is his father.

[30:01] Right? That is his father because he is the son. So, to honor then, we honor with our words, with our gestures, with our heart, and with our obedience.

[30:14] Now, let's talk about those four things just real quick. When we honor with our words, it's about what we say about them and what we say to them. You know, when kids gather up and they are, you know, angry at their parents or something like that, and they say something ugly about their parents, even when their parents aren't there, they're dishonoring their parents by saying things negative about their parents.

[30:40] When they don't speak to their parents, when they don't speak to their parents, when they don't speak to their parents, when they don't speak to their parents, honorable ways, treating them as their office deserves, they are not being honoring with their words.

[30:54] You know, one of the clear examples in our culture of when honor was a thing and now as honor begins to go away is the idea of yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am.

[31:06] Right? We were taught that that is a way of showing respect and honor to our parents by answering them in such a way. And so many people have just jettisoned that. Does that mean that they're not honoring?

[31:18] Well, I don't know because there's some cultures that they don't answer that way. In some cultures, they don't use yes, sir, no, sir. They use other things instead to give answers. One culture that I was in, they use the term grandfather and they say yes, grandfather, to everyone, even to their parents and to their mom and their dad.

[31:36] Yes, grandfather. It's just a way of like it doesn't make any sense, but that's what they did. You understand what I'm saying? So I don't want to get caught up on saying that it's got to be yes, sir, no, sir. Yes, ma'am, no, ma'am.

[31:46] But it has to be respect. How do you speak to them? You know, there's ways that you can say yes, sir and no, sir with zero honor. Yes, sir.

[31:58] That shows no honor. That's sarcasm. Right? You know, that's like the judicial system. Because we have a judge and we call in your honor.

[32:09] Yeah. It's the respect for authority. Yeah. Gestures. Gestures. These are outward physical acts that we do to show honor. You know, I remember a time when a child sitting in a chair as an older adult walked in the room.

[32:25] And the child would get up out of that chair and let the older adult sit in their chair. You're old. Just a, huh? You're old. Because they've never done that for a long time. Yeah. We, one of the things we tried to do with our kids, and I think it was fairly successful in terms of just the outward view of it.

[32:43] I'm not sure if it got to the heart or not. But we did not like children interrupting. Like if I'm talking to you at church and the child comes up and just starts saying, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.

[32:55] Well, we, whoo. First of all, it drives me crazy when a parent won't immediately address their kid. And then it also drives me crazy for a kid not to be corrected about interrupting.

[33:05] So we taught our kids that if you need my attention, like if you need it, then, and I'm talking to somebody, walk up to me and place your hand on my arm. Or on my, on my back or something.

[33:17] Just, just touch me. Just hold, and hold your hand there till I recognize you. And then what I would do is I would find the end of the sentence and then I would say, could you excuse me for just one second? And then I would turn to our kid and say, what, what's going on?

[33:30] They would say, request, whatever it was, and then I would send them packing. And I. And it better be good. Huh? And it better be good since you're interrupting. No, no, because what I, what I wanted to teach them is that I, I'm, I'm for you and I, I will, I will address even your silliest questions.

[33:48] And I will interrupt what I'm doing. I just need you to be respectful of me so I can be respectful of you. And there are times I'm answering questions about, like, are puppies going to heaven or something like that. And it's like, I would look at them and say, this is not a question for right now.

[34:01] That's a long question. Let's take that at home. You know? And it's like, I can't do all that question right now. I'm sitting here talking about it. Should we paint the sanctuary? You know? Like, so, so, so the point is, is that's an outward gesture.

[34:14] And, and I think that outward gestures towards divinely appointed authorities are right in order for us to show respect and honor. The third thing about the heart is that what we're ultimately after is honor in the heart.

[34:29] Honor just in behavior externals is just a Pharisee without the heart. You got a kid like I was who's extremely respectful to my parents externally.

[34:46] Like externally, I was, I was the number one kid saying, yes, sir, no, sir. Yes, ma'am. No one. I was the number one kid taking care of my chores and doing the things towards my parents externally that showed them honor.

[34:58] But in my heart, I did not honor my parents. Not, not the way I should have. You know, and I think we all have been there.

[35:08] We all had those moments where we were just angry with our parents and we let that anger fester. But the point is, is that we want, we want to be people who do these things from the heart for the glory of God.

[35:23] Otherwise, what use is it other than just keeping society together? And then with our obedience, I think we need to listen and heed the, the commands and the wisdom of our divinely appointed authorities.

[35:38] The commands and the wisdom, the commands and the wisdom of children. I mean, of parents. Those are two different things. Wisdom, wisdom is not commands.

[35:52] Wisdom is, this is what I think is the best course of action, given all the circumstances and data that you've given me and what I know of the Bible. This is what I think is the best course of action.

[36:03] But you've got to walk your own path. A command. This is the thing that I, that we, we struggled with for a while. We finally got, I think, cleared up. Sometimes our kids, you know, would try to, they're, they're great lawyers, right?

[36:16] Kids are great lawyers. It's like, well, I didn't know you were telling me to do that. You know, so I began to say, by the way, this is a command. And here's what I'm telling you to do.

[36:27] You know, and just make it clear. But, you know, here's the thing. How many things really ought to be commands that we're telling kids to do? Like, because there's a bunch of things that we have a tendency to want to be commanding about.

[36:41] I've seen parents who will command their kids to go to the kitchen and pour them a cup of tea and bring it back to them. No.

[36:52] Where's that in the Bible? Like, I can't fight, if they're going to be disobedient and I've got 300 laws that they've got to obey, wow, that is just a lot to have to monitor.

[37:03] So we begin to try to think, and it needs to be built upon God's word. What does God command? Because those are the most important things. And so we began to kind of narrow our commands that we would give.

[37:16] We would have requests. I might ask one of my kids, do you mind going to get me a glass of tea? And if they told me no, I said, okay, that's fine. And I'd get up and I'd just go get it myself. But one of the things I tried to do in reverse is say, when they said to me, hey, do you mind getting me a cup of water from the kitchen?

[37:34] I would say, sure. And I'd go get it for them. Because I wanted them to understand that we show kindness to one another by doing these things. Anyway. Just a suggestion.

[37:45] Just a suggestion. A gesture. Yeah, exactly. It's a gesture. That's a gesture of honor. That's right. Okay.

[37:58] I think that's all that I wanted to say on honor. Do you have any questions about honor? Because now we're going to talk about why we should show honor, which will be pretty straightforward.

[38:13] Okay. There's a good reason to show honor, and it's because there's a great promise. There's a great promise, right? This promise is the idea that it will go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

[38:27] Deuteronomy says the same thing, that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus. Okay. Okay.

[38:39] So, one. Who's the your days and your God and giving you? Who's the you? Specifically from Exodus.

[38:53] There's a very specific group that's the you and the your. Israel. Israel. What's the land? In the land.

[39:06] What land are we talking about here? The promised land. Okay. So, this commandment is specifically for Israel and the promises for Israel in the land.

[39:18] Primarily and first. That's where we have to start when we read the Bible. Go back and see who this is to. Don't jump to today and look at your kids and say, this is you, buddy. Okay. Talk about Israel first.

[39:29] How does this commandment help them to be long in the land? Is it a miraculous thing that God does and keeps people alive?

[39:45] You've got to work for it. What? You have to work for it. Yes. Yeah. You have to work for it, but how do you work for it? You honor. How does that work then? How does the honoring of the father and the mother equal out to long in the land?

[39:59] Two things. Two things. Number one. On an individual level, the child who listens to their parents typically stays out of danger.

[40:18] Secondly, the child who listens to their parents grows in an appreciation for authority. You have a culture that has a bunch of individual children who are staying out of danger and who are loving authority.

[40:34] Then you don't have rebellion. You don't have the crime rate. You don't have all these things and they can stay in the land. Now, this is a promise from God in the sense that you do what I say and you're going to have results of what happens.

[40:51] Right? Right? It's like telling your kid, listen, if you will not touch the fire, you won't get burned. If you touch the fire, you're liable to get burned.

[41:05] Right? Because you could touch it real quick and not get burned. But this is the same kind of principle. He's not necessarily saying that they're going to have extraordinarily long life miraculously. Although, I will hold out that I think that that's a possibility for some.

[41:20] I don't, that's just a side trip. Anyway, that, we'll just leave it there. Anyway, so this promise then in this old covenant is this.

[41:32] Now, here's the thing. Paul brings it, well, no. Paul brings it into Ephesians. Right? He brings the same promise into Ephesians.

[41:43] Well, they're no longer living in the land, the promised land. So how does this apply in the new covenant? Hmm.

[41:58] I would step one step before that and be spiritual life. I think that children who, from the heart, honor their parents in the Lord.

[42:12] Because that's what he says. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. Okay? That's by the power that the Lord gives to them. A child who obeys their parents by the power that the Lord gives them, honoring the parents the way they should.

[42:28] I think that living long in the land is the spiritual blessing and spiritual life that they will have that honors the Lord. Does that make sense? I think honoring your parents would give you the results of goodness and more of a better life, a better good result.

[42:52] Yes. It's about everything. That's pretty much what I'm saying. The only caveat that I put on that is that it's in the Lord. In other words, it can't be done just willy-nilly.

[43:02] It has to be done not for your own glory, but it has to be done for the Lord. It has to be done by the power of the Lord. It has to be done as a believer. Right?

[43:13] Another thought on that is, are the parents in the Lord? Because you look at some of the parents' circumstances that kids are growing up in.

[43:24] Yeah. And it's difficult sometimes for them to see why they should honor their parents. Right. Right. So they're the responsibility of the parents as well.

[43:36] Well, there's a second reason that we should honor our parents. The second reason has to do with what Jesus did. Let's see. Yeah, right here. Jesus, it says here, he went down.

[43:49] Okay, so he went with his family to Jerusalem, to the temple. He stayed back and his parents were gone for a couple of days before they realized he wasn't with the caravan. So they go back and find him.

[44:00] And he's like, what? You know, and then they get back home. Right. So he says that he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them.

[44:10] He was submissive to them. He was honoring to them. He was obeying them, his parents. Whom he created.

[44:22] He created them. He gave them life.

[44:33] The book of Hebrews tells us that it's by the word of his power that he holds together the universe and all created things. One of the things in that that I always think about is that why is it that the atoms and molecules hold together?

[44:49] We know that there's a physical principle to that in terms of the positives and negatives. And I don't understand how any of that works. But I think that's the power of God holding together our molecules.

[45:01] He's sitting there holding together the molecules of his parents and then submitting to them. He is smarter than they are.

[45:17] He does know more than them. And he is way more consistent with his behavior than they are.

[45:29] They're sinners. And yet he honors and submits to them. Well, he's on earth now and he's setting an example for everybody else to see too.

[45:44] Because, you know, they can't really wrap their mind around that this physical person is God. But he's doing all the things that he's trying to get people to do. Well, he's also fulfilling the law.

[45:56] And that's the important part of this, right? Because he has to fulfill the law since Adam didn't. And so part of his submitting to them is fulfilling the fifth commandment. That is his act of righteousness.

[46:08] Okay, sorry. We won't go there. I will get to there another day. But the point is that, yes, it is an example. But it's way more than an example. And so it demonstrates.

[46:18] But for us, you know, there's so many things that we would say about honoring people. We would say things like, you know, well, I mean, you know, I'll honor you if you're really honorable.

[46:29] Or I'll respect you if you're really respectable. Like, how respectable are his parents compared to him? Yet he still does so. I do not need my parents to be righteous and honorable for me to honor them.

[46:48] Now, should they be honorable? Yes. But that's on them. That's on them. We live in such a different world from when I was growing up.

[47:00] I mean, we honored not only our parents. We honored our uncles and aunts and our elders, grandparents. And, I mean, we were, we weren't really told them, who doesn't love.

[47:17] We just honored because that was the way people behaved. Now, I think we've lost the honor because parents have decided not to be like their parents.

[47:33] Now they want to give the kid all the positions, all the, oh, whatever you want, darling. Whatever you, yeah, whatever you think.

[47:44] And what has become of that? Yeah. A mess. Well, you know, let me, let me, let me address that here in just a second. Because I want to get into the application of this and think about, you know, I always tell you that the application of this is always light, map, and mirror, right?

[48:01] The law works as a light. It demonstrates something about God's character. The map, it shows us as Christians a way to live. And the mirror is that it shows us our sins so that we run to Christ.

[48:12] So as a light, it helps us understand that God loves authority. God loves orderliness. God loves structure. It is a part of who he is.

[48:24] That's why he has commanded it. And one of the things about our culture going to, to Benny's thought is that our culture does not love authority. And it started with the feminist movement that said that for a wife to be submissive to her husband was akin to slavery or subservience.

[48:44] And the problem with that is that that is a, that is a rebellion that says I hate authority. We have bred this in our culture that we hate authority.

[48:58] That is why people try to trap cops and kill them because they hate authority. This is why riots happen. This is why abortion takes place because we hate authority and we hate being told what to do.

[49:14] This commandment ought to refresh our memory and say, God loves authority. And there's never going to be a time in your life that you are out from underneath authority.

[49:27] That's the thing that you have to teach kids. I remember when someone told our, our 18 year old when she had turned 18, well, now you're going to do whatever you want to. And I looked at them and I was like, no, she can't do whatever she wants to.

[49:39] Like, I mean, I understand the thought behind that, that now, you know, we're an adult supposedly, like an age makes you an adult. But like, there's still a cop out there and there's still the law of the land.

[49:52] And there's always that authority. And even if you say, well, I'm just going to ignore all authorities, go climb up on top of a building and jump off. And the authority of God's law is still going to hold you accountable.

[50:03] You cannot ever be out from underneath authority. Ever. There's never a place that you're out from underneath authority. But that is the thing that our world is seeking to do is to destroy all authority.

[50:18] And why is that? Because God established all authority. And they hate God. You know, I skipped over this verse a while ago because I didn't think we really had time.

[50:31] But I'm going to go back to it. In Romans chapter 1, verse 29 through 30, he's talking about people who are under God's wrath and who have rejected the glory of God for images of birds and animals worshiping these things.

[50:45] And God gives to them their due credit. But then he says, they were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness.

[50:57] You can see some of the Ten Commandments being brought into here, right? They're gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents.

[51:08] A hater of God and being disobedient to parents are held as things that are equal to each other. So yeah. Yeah. Why is it because we hate authority?

[51:21] We hate being told what to do. And listen, I'm the chief of sinners. I hate being told what to do. I don't like it when somebody tells me that. And I recognize that in myself. And it makes me look at this commandment and I go like, wow, look at how wickedly sinful I am.

[51:38] It's a good thing Christ died on the cross for me. It was a good thing he died on the cross for me. As a map, as a map, this commandment helps us understand how we ought to act.

[51:52] And yes, we should have respect for all authority. We should have respect for all authority. We should honor all authority, including President Biden.

[52:04] The IRS. Are they really authority? Okay, anyway. In 1 Peter, Peter tells the Christians, he says, honor the king.

[52:16] He says, honor the king. Do you know who the king was at that time? By the way, that's the King James because people in England understood a king. The word is really honor the emperor.

[52:29] Do you know who the emperor was for Peter? Caesar. Caesar. Well, he was a Caesar. What was his name though? That's just it. Nero. Nero was the Caesar that Peter was under when he said to the Christians, honor the king.

[52:58] Nero was trying to get rid of the Christians anyway. He was. He was in a pretty good job. He was a wicked, wicked man. Now, with that being said, we need to say something else that's not necessarily in this commandment, but is related to the commandment.

[53:17] And that is this. There is authority. God loves authority. But all authority has boundaries. It's what's called sphere authority.

[53:30] Sphere authority. Right? An authority figure that God has set up has a certain amount of authority, but they ought not to transgress the boundaries of their authority.

[53:44] You transgress the boundaries of your authority when you seek to try to coerce behavior that's outside the realm of the scope of what your authority is to cover.

[53:56] That's the way our government was set up. That's why there's three branches of government. That's also why it's a republic in which we vote and we select our leaders because if they're not doing right, we're supposed to out them and put someone else in who will respect that authority.

[54:13] It's why we as the church ought to vote and we ought to hold accountable those that we've elected. And help them understand you are overstepping your bounds.

[54:28] Now what does that look like to overstep your bounds? Remember back in the day before we had cell phones? We had regular phones. We had one phone in the house and anybody could answer it.

[54:41] You had no idea who was calling. And you would answer it. But before you would answer it, my dad would look at me and say, if that's work, tell him I'm not here. Now in that moment, my dad was giving me a command as my father.

[55:01] That command was telling me to lie. My father overstepped his bounds. Because he does not, even though he's my father, he does not have the right by God to command me to sin against God.

[55:18] I had a lady come to me years ago. She was coming for counseling. She and her mom, because of her husband, he was in jail. And when he was getting out of jail, life was going to be difficult. And so she's trying to navigate how do I live as a submissive wife to my husband?

[55:33] He tells me he doesn't want me to go to church. And I said to her, he has no right to tell you that. That commandment comes from scripture for you to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.

[55:45] He is overstepping his bounds to tell you that. Now, how you navigate that is a different pastoral concern. But that's just the truth of it.

[55:57] You know, my wife and I, we are married. I have authority over my wife. But if I tell her to do something that goes outside of that, then I have no leg to stand on.

[56:12] I have no right to do that. And she has every right to look at me and say, I think you're overstepping your bounds. That's the thing with authority.

[56:22] There is a certain sphere of authority within the church. I have a certain sphere of authority. And there are certain things that I'm going to put in place and say, no, this is what we're going to do. But there are some places that I could go past that.

[56:37] Like, you know, I can't tell you to go buy a Ford truck. You know, some of you don't like Ford. You know, and so that's okay. You can buy whatever truck you want to. I can't even tell you that you should or should not buy a truck.

[56:49] You know what I'm saying? Like, there are things that are just outside that I just have no business being in. Listen to that why it says, obey authority as unto the Lord.

[57:03] As unto the Lord. Yeah, I think that's a part of it. That there is a certain sphere of authority. And sometimes, though, what's being said by the authority is within the bounds of what their command is from God.

[57:17] And we still struggle with that. And maybe even looking at some of these things, we look at this and we just kind of go like, wow, I have blown it. I blew it as a kid.

[57:28] Maybe I've not been very honorable and respectable for my kids or for my grandkids. You know, that's one of the reasons we go back to the cross again and look that Christ died for people like us.

[57:42] But it also gives us an opportunity, right? Most of us, I'm assuming, don't have any kids at home anymore. We're there just about, almost.

[57:57] And your kids have kids. And I just want to put forward a challenge to you that you're not done yet. And I want to encourage you that the thoughts here are things that your kids and your grandkids that have kids, they need you to speak in.

[58:18] You know, one of the most beautiful things that ever happened in our time with any kind of grandparent figure, and it wasn't one of our parents that did this. It was a gentleman within our church.

[58:29] We were talking to one of our kids. And one of our kids was being a little saucy coming back at us. And we, you know, we were like calling her down. And he saw this.

[58:40] He walked over and he bent down and he whispered something in her ear. And I don't know exactly what he said. The gist of it had to do with God and authority and honor and respect.

[58:53] And even though her heart just kind of melted a little bit and she sort of changed, but it wasn't a drastic change. There was a moment right there that I thought, I'm so glad somebody is here to support me.

[59:05] I think it's very wise and good as grandparents for your kids to know that you've got their back. You may not agree with everything that they're doing.

[59:16] You may not, you may think to yourself, well, I would have never done that. But that's really not the issue. The issue is, are they being honorable and are they calling their kids to be honoring them?

[59:27] And you have a beautiful privileged position to be able to speak into your grandkids' lives as they seek to be obedient to their parents. You can be a support to that.

[59:39] And I understand, we don't want to get involved in everybody's business. But I think that that's really a thought from the world and not from scripture. And so thoughtfully, prayerfully, carefully, humbly, look for ways that you can support and bring this particular commandment to bear on a grandkid not listening to your kid.

[60:02] Or to bear on a great grandkid not listening to your grandkid. And see how God might be able to use you to help them see this. And maybe the moment's going to be where you're going to look at them and say, yeah, your mom told me that you were pretty disobedient and rebellious and disrespectful to her.

[60:24] Yeah. Well, you know what? That's why Jesus came to die. Because we struggle to be respectful to our parents. And I just want you to know that his death can cover this sin for you as well.

[60:39] And bring the gospel to them. There's no greater moment except in the parenting moment, I think, to bring the gospel to someone in such a powerful way.

[60:53] Because they know their sin right there. They see it. So, let's pray together and then we'll take some questions. Father, thank you for your giving to us this word and helping us to understand.

[61:08] I pray that our minds would be fixed upon you. That you would help us to live for your glory and honor. That you would help us to be honorable people and to seek to promote this type of commandment with those in our world and our sphere.

[61:26] And Father, we pray that you would help us to love the authority that you've put in our lives. Thank you for your grace on us, we pray in Christ's name. Amen.

[61:38] Amen. Amen. All right.