Lesson 8 Commandment 7

[0:00] That's where I'm going. That's where I'm going. So here's the thing. Our decisions about things like these, sometimes they're snap decisions and it's just the feel of the day.

[0:13] But a lot of times the decisions we make are built upon various things about our person, about maybe our history. Maybe there's some nostalgia. Maybe there's certain tastes that we like better than others.

[0:27] Maybe it's texture. But all of that is based upon who we are as a person. And our decisions about what we choose then flow out of who we are.

[0:39] When God gave us the Ten Commandments, he didn't just arbitrarily roll the dice and say, oh, this looks like a good commandment. These commandments come out of who he is.

[0:51] He's given us these commandments because they best represent who he is and what he's like. And the Seventh Commandment is no different.

[1:02] The Seventh Commandment tells us something about who God is. And I want us to focus in on that, but I want us to remember at the beginning, what does the Seventh Commandment say?

[1:13] Do not commit adultery. Do not commit adultery. That's all it says in terms of the words, but in terms of what it means, because God is the one who wrote this with his finger, it says something about him.

[1:28] And it says, I think, something about his faithfulness. And I want us to talk about that because I think that the foundation of this command is God's faithfulness.

[1:39] In Deuteronomy, it tells us, know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations.

[1:52] So it's saying that he is faithful God. What does it mean to be faithful? What does faithful mean? Consistently, Okay, but consistency is definitely a part of it.

[2:12] What else? What? Consistently good. Consistently good. Okay, what else would you say? Faithfulness. Trustworthy. Trusty. Okay. Trustworthy, dependable, steadfast.

[2:25] Keep your word. Keep your word. Steady. Not go back on his words. Not go back on his words. Steady. Yeah. These are all good things. I was trying to come up with an illustration from nature to kind of illustrate a type of faithfulness because I think faithfulness has a couple of aspects to it.

[2:46] But one of those aspects is this idea of steadiness and sticking to it and staying with it until it's done, right? It's fulfilling out a thing. And I don't know if you know this, but polar bears, female polar bears, mother polar bears, when they are gestating and they're going to have baby cubs, right?

[3:10] They fast, right? They dig up a den and they get this thing ready and they've eaten all summer and everything and then they go into hibernation with these cubs and they fast the longest of everything in the animal kingdom.

[3:26] Do you know how long they fast? And it's without food and water. Do you know how long they go? Eight months. Eight months.

[3:37] That's the reason when mama bear comes out, nobody gets around it. Yeah, that's, you're not wrong. She's hungry and she's mad. You know, and I know that that's the way that God made them, but I think it's interesting to see because like I couldn't last that long with anything.

[3:55] You know, God in his faithfulness is even greater than that. And his faithfulness means that he never breaks his promise. He always does what he says he's going to do and he's never going to leave his people.

[4:07] He says in Psalm 94, 14, for the Lord will not forsake his people. That is the essence of faithfulness is that he's committed to them and will stay with them until he accomplishes that which he wants to accomplish.

[4:23] And so we see God's faithfulness to the Israelites in this passage. I want you to think about this passage for a second. It's just a couple of verses.

[4:34] He says, You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. Now, therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples for all the earth is mine.

[4:51] And you shall be to me a kingdom of priests, a holy nation. And these are the words that you shall speak to the people of Israel. Now, two things about this passage is that one, this is in fulfillment of a promise made in Genesis 15.

[5:07] Right? Where God's promised to Abraham, your descendants are going to go into a nation as slaves. They're going to be there for 400 years. Then I'm going to visit them, destroy the nation that has them as slaves and deliver the people and bring them back to this land.

[5:21] And that's what's about to happen. But also, before he even gives them the Ten Commandments, he's expressing what he's done to fulfill his promise. Right?

[5:32] The Ten Commandments is not a way for them to tap into his faithfulness, but because of his faithfulness, he gives the Ten Commandments to them.

[5:43] And the people, the people want to have some semblance of being faithful to the Lord as he goes to give them all these commandments.

[5:55] What do you think was their response initially about all these commandments? Well, they didn't want to do it. Oh, well. Well, right before he gave them and he says, okay, I'm going to give you some commandments, they actually said, all that the Lord has spoken, we will do.

[6:11] Like, they made great boasts. Oh, yeah, we are going to do this. But here's my question. Did they? No. No, they didn't.

[6:23] Here's what I want us to do. I need some volunteers to read some passages of Scripture for me. I need somebody to read Judges 2, 11-13.

[6:35] Who will take Judges 2? Okay. I'm sure he's got Judges 2. I need somebody to read from Psalm 78. Okay, Psalm 78 to Dodie.

[6:46] I need someone to read from Isaiah 1. Okay. Ms. Linda, Isaiah 1. And then I need one final person to read from Psalm 106.

[6:59] Okay, Faireen. Your Judges 2, 11-13. And then Dodie, your Psalm 78, 37-41.

[7:12] And then Isaiah 1, it's verses 2-4. And then Faireen, it's Psalm 106, 43-45.

[7:25] Now, as you read this, the Judges 1 passage is going to talk about Israel's unfaithfulness. And another passage is going to speak about God's faithfulness.

[7:37] I just want you to look at these and just kind of see it described for you in front of you. So let's start with the Judges 2 passage. When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone's courage failed because of you.

[7:56] For the Lord your God is God in heaven above. I think we might have the wrong passage. Judges 2. That's what I thought.

[8:07] Verse 11-13. Because it should start, and the people did what was evil in the sight of the Lord. Well, this is two Judges. Oh, I'm not a Joshua. Never mind. I was just...

[8:19] I was just... It does. It does. And it is confusing. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, no, that's okay. I just... I was wondering if maybe I had the wrong listing here.

[8:30] And so I was like, well, it should start this way. So maybe I wrote the wrong thing down. So it'd be Joshua Judges.

[8:45] Judges is right after Joshua. Judges. Judges. Judges. Judges. Judges. Judges. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals.

[9:06] They forsake the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshipped various gods of the peoples around them.

[9:18] They aroused the Lord's anger. Because they forsook him and served Baal and the Ashtoreth.

[9:32] That's right. Okay. Okay. So somebody, as you heard that, what are some of the things that Israel did that showed or demonstrated their faithlessness? They accepted other gods of the people around them.

[9:46] They did. They served these other gods around them. Hey, it's easier to bow to that guy than to, you know, not get angry at my neighbor.

[9:57] And as they did that, they abandoned God. And notice how God is described here. He's the God who brought them out of Egypt. So they've taken the good that was done for them and spurned it and then went after other gods.

[10:16] Now, Psalm 78 describes God in this same sort of time period. And listen to what Psalm 78 says about God while Israel's doing what they're doing.

[10:26] For their heart was not steadfast with him, nor were they faithful in his covenant. But he, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity and did not destroy them.

[10:40] Yes, many times he turned his anger away and did not stir up all his wrath. For he remembered that they were but flesh, a breath that passes away and does not come again.

[10:54] How often they provoked him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert. Wow. Look, how does it demonstrate God's faithfulness? 41 says, yes, again and again they tempted God and limited the Holy One Israel.

[11:10] I'm sorry, I cut you off. You did. I did. Okay, so now how does that demonstrate, how do you see God's faithfulness demonstrated in that passage? He turned his anger away so many times when he could have destroyed them.

[11:24] That's right. Describes him as being compassionate, restraining his anger. Steadfast. I thought about how he remembers that they were but flesh.

[11:39] Right? He recognizes their frailty. And even though they're abandoning him and questioning him and complaining again and again and again, he holds true to them.

[11:50] Right? Okay. Now let's take a look at a similar situation between Isaiah chapter 1 and Psalm 106. Isaiah 1, listen, for Israel's faithlessness. Hear, O heavens, listen, Lord.

[12:04] For the Lord has spoken. And rear children and brought them up. And they have been against them. All he knows his master, they told me his owner's manager. That his one does not know.

[12:15] People do not understand. All a sinful nation, the people loaded with guilt. The root of evildoers. Children given to corrosion. They have forsaken the Lord.

[12:26] They have spurned the Holy One of their children and turned their back. Okay. How is their faithlessness demonstrated there? I mean, I think to myself how he compares them to farm animals and the farm animals are doing better than they're doing.

[12:49] The donkey knows the master, but you don't know me. Like, what a devastating sort of insult that that is because of their actions.

[13:00] They're acting worse than beasts. You know? Then let's see God's faithfulness then in response to this. Psalm 106.

[13:12] 43. 43 through 45. Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on the building, and they wasted away in their sin. But he took note of their distress when he heard their cry.

[13:25] For their sake he remembered his covenant, and out of his great love he had them. Wow. Look at his faithfulness, right? One of the things that sticks out to me is the fact that he remembered his covenant with them.

[13:41] He made a covenant with them. God is faithful to his people even when they are faithless. That's what Paul says in 2 Timothy.

[13:52] If we're faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself. God, in his faithfulness, as he looks at his people, and he looks at his people Israel sinning against him, he never says, that's it.

[14:06] I'm going to go find another people. He, in his faithfulness, says, I will always be your God. Now, let's think about something for a second.

[14:18] Let me ask you, why or what meaning does the wedding band serve when we give it in a wedding ceremony?

[14:30] What is it supposed to represent? Commitment. Represent commitment, okay? And whose commitment? Mine to my husband.

[14:41] Right. You wear it as a sign of commitment to the vows that you make, right? That's why we do the vows first before we do the rings in a wedding ceremony.

[14:53] Because we make all of these vows. We say, I do. And then the husband gives a ring to his wife. And she agrees to wear it as a symbol of her commitment to him and to these promises.

[15:06] Okay? So, what's interesting is that God says in Isaiah 54, he says, For your maker is your husband. The Lord of hosts is his name.

[15:17] God is the husband of Israel. Okay? In the Old Testament, he's the husband of Israel. And the reason he does not abandon them, and the reason he does not go back on them, is not because he's just willy-nilly saying, I'm just going to do this, and I'm going to do this no matter what, like some sort of bulldog.

[15:36] But he has made a covenant vow to them. He's married to them. And he's the husband. And he's taken his vows seriously.

[15:49] And the reason he's faithful when they're faithless is because he's holding true to the promise. And we can see, we can even go into the New Testament and see how this continues to flow, because God is now the husband of his people, and his people are now the church, right?

[16:09] And we can see Christ in the church, and we'll get to that here in a little bit. But the point is, is that the foundation of this commandment is the husbandly faithfulness of God himself to his people who have been faithless to him.

[16:28] So that being the foundation, the core then of this commandment, even though what the commandment says is you shall not commit adultery, the core of this commandment is that we are to be faithful like God.

[16:47] We're to be faithful like God. As a matter of fact, when you think about what adultery is, I mean, it's very easy to see how that is a faithlessness type of situation.

[17:01] But the faithfulness we're supposed to have, I look at it like this, that in the inner circle, we're to be faithful to God, right?

[17:12] This commandment, if we're being obedient to this commandment, we're being faithful to God because we're obeying what he has said. But in the second circle, obedience to this commandment means that we're going to be faithful like God.

[17:26] We're going to follow the pattern that he has set. And in the final way is how we deal with others outside, and that is I'm going to be faithful to my spouse, right?

[17:36] I'm going to be faithful to the marriage that we have. I'm going to be faithful to what it is that God has set forward for us. And so this is always a difficult commandment.

[17:48] Like, you know, think about teaching children the Ten Commandments, and you come to the Seventh Commandment, and you're trying to teach children what this commandment means. It's a little difficult sometimes because, like, kids don't have a lot of these words, concepts, and ideas in their heads.

[18:02] So we used to say things like this, that this commandment means that a married person can't treat another person they're not married to as though they're married to them, right?

[18:13] A husband can't treat somebody, another woman, like that's his wife. And so that really, even though that's kind of an explanation for kids, that really does get to the heart of this commandment because it's more than just some sort of physical intimacy gone awry, right?

[18:31] So I want to talk for just a few moments about how do we obey this commandment. And I feel like that the best way to think about obeying this commandment is to think about kind of a statement about this commandment that anything in this commandment that gets moved then ends up being a violation, right?

[18:55] So the statement, I think I've printed it on there, it's when a husband and wife are to be faithful to one another physically, emotionally, spiritually for life. That's what this commandment is.

[19:06] If we follow that statement, then we will weave the path of obedience to this commandment, right? Anytime you remove one of these things or you change or manipulate one of these pieces of this definition, you end up getting sin.

[19:23] Okay, I'll give you an example. If you take away the husband and wife, right, you just remove that from the equation, then you just have people who are faithful to one another physically, emotionally, spiritually for life. That could be any kind of people, any number of people, any gender of people, right?

[19:39] There's all kinds of sin that gets brought in if you just remove the idea of a husband and wife. Even removing the idea of husband and wife removes marriage and wedding, and that brings in the idea of people who are not married.

[19:56] That gets into what the old King James calls fornication, right? The premarital sex type stuff. It brings out homosexuality and those kinds of things. Or let's do another one.

[20:06] If you remove the idea that they're to be faithful to one another, then you can get into the idea of things such as like people who are living together, who, you know, they're not married, right?

[20:18] And the idea of marriage is not simply a marriage certificate from the local clerk. That is not a marriage make, right?

[20:28] A marriage is when two people make a vow before God in order to come together and surrender to one another and promise to one another.

[20:40] Pornography plays into this. The idea of looking with lust, as Jesus talks about, right? He says, you've heard it said, you should not commit adultery. But I've said to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in her heart.

[20:54] So, in his heart. So, the point is, is that even what goes on in our minds and our hearts can be a violation of this. It can be, I'm not being faithful to my spouse if I'm entertaining these thoughts and these images in my head.

[21:11] We could take out the idea of the physical intimacy and, you know, you go to Leviticus chapter 18 and find all kinds of sexual sin listed there.

[21:22] You could take out the faithfulness emotionally and spiritually, right? Because, here's the thing, there's supposed to be an emotional and spiritual intimacy in marriage that I'm supposed to share with my wife that I should not be sharing with anybody else.

[21:37] It's a kind of closeness that we are to have that I shouldn't have with anyone else. And it is also a part of the physical intimacy. You can't have one of these kinds of intimacy without the other.

[21:50] This is why connecting with someone on an emotional level is dangerous in the sense of someone who's of the opposite sex, who you're not married to, who, that can lead to bad things.

[22:06] I know this because I've watched it happen. I had two friends of mine. Both were in ministry. And one, he ends up getting emotionally connected to this woman who gave him lots of affirmation.

[22:21] And they went and sinned. And his wife divorced him. And he ended up not being with his wife or this woman, but now is married to a whole other woman, right?

[22:33] I got another friend of mine who was being emotionally connected to this woman. And he actually calls me and talks to me about it and says, Hey, you know, man, this is going on. And I told him, I said, you need to repent right now.

[22:45] You need to call your pastor and you need to go tell your wife. He said, well, but nothing's happened. I said, I know nothing's happened. That's why you need to go tell them now. So then nothing does happen. He said, but if I do, I'm probably going to get fired.

[22:57] I said, better lose your job than lose your marriage. You know, because that connection was so strong and so powerful. It was leading him to go further because the woman was ready, right?

[23:09] So the idea is that this statement is about the idea of how do we obey this commandment. Anything that we remove from that statement ends up being a sin.

[23:22] The last part of it, the idea for life. I do believe there is such a thing as a biblical divorce. However, I think our culture is rampant with unbiblical divorce.

[23:37] Do you understand what I'm saying? I do believe that the Bible gives two cases for divorce. That would be adultery and abandonment. However, I think most people nowadays, they go get divorces.

[23:48] You know, the whole idea of no fault divorce and all those kinds of things. I mean, it's just rampant, rampant, rampant because we don't care anything about obeying what God has said in his word.

[23:59] And, you know, so, all right. That is sort of the foundation, the core, and kind of how I see to obey this commandment. And I'm about ready to jump into some application, but I wanted to pause and see if you had any questions about anything that I have said so far.

[24:18] If you were to take a test right now, what questions do you need to ask the teacher so you can pass? Did your second friend do what he was supposed to do after you talked to him?

[24:37] Yeah, he did. And to this day, still in ministry. And one of the interesting things that happens every now and then when we've seen them is that almost every time she looks at me and she says, thank you so much.

[24:51] And so it's really, it's a weird feeling, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm very thankful, but also it's a very strange feeling to be in on that and know these things. And I just feel like sometimes like, hmm, that's more than I really want to know.

[25:04] So. Okay. Well, let's talk about application. Again, as we look at God's commandments, we know that it's a light, a map and a mirror.

[25:16] Okay. And we've talked, I think, a lot about the light and the map. I'm going to say a little bit more about light. Obviously, the foundation of this commandment being the faithfulness of God.

[25:27] When we look at this commandment, it should light up the fact that God is faithful. We should see his faithfulness. We should, you know, when you read through the book of Hosea, when you read other things in scripture that speak of God's forgiveness of us.

[25:43] Anytime that you go in prayer and you ask God for forgiveness. If you think to yourself, 1 John 1, 9, that if you confess your sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins.

[25:54] That ought to remind you of his faithfulness. Every time you sin and God forgives, you ought to be reminded of this commandment and reminded of God's faithfulness. It's such a glorious picture to be able to see the faithfulness of God.

[26:10] And what happens is that in the New Testament, that picture of God's faithfulness explodes with glory because of who Christ is.

[26:22] Ephesians tells us, right? Ephesians tells us that therefore man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Now where Paul's quoting from the Old Testament.

[26:36] Do you know what book Paul's quoting from or what story Paul's quoting from in saying this? Genesis. Genesis. Genesis.

[26:47] That's correct. It's when God brings Eve to Adam. And God is establishing marriage here in the beginning.

[26:58] And he says that a man shall leave his father and mother. That doesn't mean that a wife stays in her parents' home. What that means is that the man is establishing a new family.

[27:09] Right? It's a new family unit. It's a new family structure. There's a new head of the household. Right? And so he cleaves to his wife. That's the old King James.

[27:19] You leave and cleave. Right? And they become one flesh. Obviously the one flesh is the physical intimacy. But that physical intimacy means more than just the physical intimacy.

[27:30] Right? So Paul starts by quoting this. And so we get that glimpse of God's glory. But then we see this. This mystery is profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

[27:43] I'm saying it refers to Christ and the church. In other words, marriage was designed by God as an illustration of what he was going to do in his son, Jesus Christ.

[28:00] It's like the chicken and the egg conversation. Which came first? Marriage or Jesus, you know, looking like a husband? Jesus looking like a husband came first.

[28:11] So God created marriage so that we could have a daily illustration of what Christ and the church is supposed to look like. We're supposed to see his glory.

[28:24] You know, my wife, every day, she has to wake up to a terrible husband. Maybe not terrible, but I'm not as good as I ought to be. I'm not.

[28:34] I wish that I were a better husband. But part of that then should be this. That as she sees me, the moments that she sees me being a good husband ought to remind her of Christ.

[28:46] And the moments she sees me being a bad husband ought to remind her of Christ. Because he is the great husband. He is the perfect husband. And he always does everything perfectly.

[28:58] And so that marriage then not only should remind her of that, but then as we interact together, that becomes a point of evangelism and missions to the rest of our family.

[29:12] It's proven through sociological studies and such that a husband and wife, the way that they treat one another, if they treat one another with good kindness and respect, does wonders for the raising of the children and being well adjusted.

[29:32] But if there's not that there, then there's problems, right? Well, that just shows the very thing that we're talking about here, that Christ and the church demonstrated through a husband and wife has great impact on the world.

[29:46] And here's where this comes to you. Maybe you're not married or maybe, you know, we're at the end of that. That doesn't mean that this doesn't apply to you.

[29:57] This applies to you because as a Christian, you have a duty to uphold these truths to all of those in your life. You know, you had great marriage and maybe he's gone now.

[30:14] And the point is, though, that you still need to uphold this because there are people in your life that need to be reminded of what that looked like. You know, we each have this place where we want to portray Christ and the church.

[30:32] I think to myself sometimes about the whole thing where, whereas a pastor, I'm pushing everybody. It's like, you know, we need to share the gospel with people. Go out and share the gospel, you know. But like one of the ways you do it without ever even thinking about it is in your marriage or in how you talk about your marriage.

[30:48] You know, it becomes a way of sharing the truth of who God is. I think it's also a way to stymie some of the weird cultural things that are going on.

[31:00] Not giving in. Not, you know, when somebody, because we're going to have, we're going to have some of our kids, our grandkids, our great grandkids come to us and say, Oh, well, you know, this is how I'm living now.

[31:10] And it's like a lot of times we're afraid to say something because we don't want to lose the relationship. But there are ways of saying things that are clear and firm without being obnoxious.

[31:26] But we've got to hold firm the path. And one of the things, I'll make a plug here. I'm hoping this summer, so we'll do our daytime Bible study through May.

[31:36] And then in the summer, we stop doing daytime Bible study. We do a Wednesday night. We'll do it about 630. So it's still light for everybody to drive. I want you to come because I'm going to try to talk about ways that we can communicate with people about difficult subjects.

[31:50] Okay, so just know that that's there. That's the light. Let's talk about the map for just a second because I feel like we've covered as much about the map that we kind of need to.

[32:03] And the map is always, well, how do I as a Christian live? What are the things that I need to do to obey this commandment? And I've listed out several things using that definition.

[32:14] Does anyone want to throw anything extra in about how we obey this commandment? Are you ready to move on? Okay, great.

[32:26] So let's talk about the mirror for just a second. As a mirror, it's supposed to help us look at ourselves in two ways. One, to find ways that we are failing or what we can do to keep from failing and then to run to Christ.

[32:43] And I want you to think about it from this perspective. That part of what we need to do is make sure that we're protecting our marriages. Not just your marriage, but you want to see your kids and grandkids.

[32:59] You want to see them protect their marriages. And let me just give you a couple of things about that. Number one, to protect a marriage, we have to avoid laziness.

[33:11] Laziness. Proverbs is full of information about the sluggard. You pass by the sluggard and by the vineyard of a man lacking sense. And behold, it was overgrown with thorns and the ground was covered with nettles.

[33:23] And a stone wall was broken down. Why was the stone wall broken down? Because nobody wanted to keep it up. That's right. Because in laziness, he doesn't go out and check it to see what's wrong with it.

[33:35] He's not proactive in looking at it. Sometimes we can become lazy in our relationships. You can think marriage. You can even think other relationships.

[33:46] This works for all of them. Sometimes we become lazy and we don't look at the things that are wrong with it and help build them back up. The biggest thing is resolving conflicts. We need to resolve conflict quickly.

[33:59] Biblically. If you don't remember about how to resolve a conflict biblically, we did a lesson on forgiveness here a few weeks back. And so we can go back and look at that. But also, we need to avoid laziness in communication.

[34:11] That is making sure that we listen. And this is what I like to tell people. The number one skill you can learn to become a better communicator than you are currently is to learn the art of rephrasing.

[34:27] The art of rephrasing. What rephrasing is, is this. If I'm talking to someone and they're telling me something, it doesn't have to be in a conflict.

[34:39] It can be just something that they're really interested in. And I'm having trouble, particularly, maybe I'm having trouble focusing on what they're saying. Or I don't really understand.

[34:49] The best thing to do is to rephrase what they just said back to them. And ask them if you've understood them. Too often, we will say something.

[35:01] Or somebody will say something to me. And I will immediately jump and begin to answer what I think they've just said or asked. And I didn't rephrase to be sure that I understood.

[35:12] And I've gone off. I mean, how many of you have asked a question here on a Bible study? And I've started answering it. And you're going like, well, that was a great answer for another question. And it's because I didn't understand the question.

[35:26] And so we, I mean, there's a lot we can do to become better communicators. But I think that's the number one skill most people have. And it is the number one thing that they teach anybody who's going to be a counselor.

[35:38] The first thing you learn is how do you rephrase what somebody just said. How do you rephrase what somebody just said. We need to avoid lies. I think that goes without saying, right?

[35:49] Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak truth to his neighbor. For we are members of one another. This passage is speaking to church, to the church, right?

[36:00] And the church, we are members of one another. So we're one. Therefore, we should not tell lies to each other. Well, how much more would that be true for a marriage?

[36:11] That's one. You shouldn't tell lies to one another because you're one. Now, I tried to ask this question last night. And it was a difficult question. So I don't know how I can ask this.

[36:21] But can you think of those kinds of things that we have a tendency to say that are not exactly the truth in our relationships, our marriages? The example that I got last night that I thought was a great example is when you ask somebody, well, how are you doing?

[36:39] They say, I'm fine. And they're obviously not. That's not the truth. It's not good to say, oh, I'm fine, when you're not fine.

[36:51] If you don't want to talk, then what you do is you say, I'm not okay, but I don't really want to talk about it right now. I need some more time. That's the truth. And that's less offensive because, you know, if I see you and I can tell that you're not fine and you tell me you're fine, then you just lied to me.

[37:12] And now I have to tell you to repent. And that's hard to do when you're mad. And we're not supposed to be mad. That's right. We've already talked about that last week. Yeah, because that's anger in the heart.

[37:24] That's right. That's exactly right. We also can avoid lust. Some passages that I think are good for us to think about as we think on this subject.

[37:38] One is James. Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire, when it is conceived, gives birth to sin. And sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.

[37:51] In other words, lust comes from within us. Right? Lust comes from within us just like anger comes from within us. And we've got to be careful of our thought life and careful of what we're thinking.

[38:05] And we have to be careful with relationships with the opposite sex. I think that you guys are probably of the generation that would understand Mike Pence having his Billy Graham rule about meals with the opposite sex.

[38:19] And he was mocked for that. And he was mocked for that in the public square because going like, oh, that's just, that's so old fashioned or whatever. But like, you know, it may be old fashioned. And maybe there's some things that that ends up harming.

[38:32] Because I know sometimes, well, anyway. And so, but the point is, is that he's being careful because he wants to protect his marriage.

[38:42] Right? And so, that's, that's a part of it. But God has given to us the ability to help one another to avoid lust. You can see that in 1 Corinthians 7, 1 through 5.

[38:54] But probably the biggest thing I would think is, is that, let me say it this way. Therefore, let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.

[39:08] You can't ever think to yourself, oh, well, I would never break this commandment. Well, that's referring to, you know, if you get too confident or too, too easy in one thing, you can, you're going to fall.

[39:30] Yeah. You're going to go off. That's right. You have to have a sober assessment of yourself, which says, my intentions are to never break such a commandment.

[39:47] But is my maturity up to my intentions? And that's where I think most people struggle. It's not the intentions, but it's the maturity.

[40:01] And so. I think pride has a lot to do with that. It does. It does. It does. It does. The last thing I would say in how we can protect our marriages is to lift one another up.

[40:15] One of the statistics that was very startling to me is that they did a study of people who had had affairs. And they were trying to understand why did this start. And the vast majority, and I can't get the number exactly, but I want to say it was somewhere in the 90s.

[40:33] Or 80s. Okay. Okay. But don't quote me on that. But it was the vast majority said that it was not about the physical intimacy, but it was about somebody who affirmed them and made them feel special.

[40:47] Words of affirmation are powerful. They're very powerful. And we're supposed to praise one another.

[40:58] Proverbs 31 is about the virtuous wife. And this virtuous wife, you look at what happens to her. It says her children rise up and call her blessed.

[41:10] Her husband also, and he praises her. And this is his praise. Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all. We are to give words of affirmation to one another.

[41:21] This is just one example, but the Bible is full of the praise of people who are not God. Yes, we're to praise God. But we're also supposed to give affirmation to one another to speak things that lift one another up and say, you're doing a great job.

[41:40] I so appreciate you. And I don't know if maybe it's because we're afraid that it's going to lean over into praising God, but I don't think we're going to really have that trouble.

[41:52] It's right and good for people to tell. It is right and good for you to hear. You're doing a great job. I'm so thankful for you. You are such a wonderful, loving person.

[42:06] It's good to hear those things. It's good to say those things to other people. Now, that's just on protecting marriage. I just want to say one last thing.

[42:19] And that is this. There's a lot about this commandment that we've talked about in ways that we can break it. And one of the things that I didn't really hit on that I want to come back to and then read our last passage is that not only can we break this commandment in ways physically and these kinds of things.

[42:39] But that whole definition of husband and wife brings in the idea of what Paul and the Bible teaches us about how husbands and wives ought to treat one another.

[42:52] And I'm supposed to be a faithful husband emotionally, spiritually, and physically to my wife for life.

[43:03] Which means not just protecting my marriage and avoiding all of these bad things. But it also means loving her the way Christ loved the church. In other words, I've got to fulfill my vows.

[43:18] I've got to do the things that scripture says. And this is where I think the vast majority of Christians have broken the seventh commandment. Because we are not being the husbands we should be.

[43:31] We're not being the wives that we should be. And maybe none of us have gotten close to breaking the seventh commandment in ways that are in the physical realm or in the thought life.

[43:46] But have we fulfilled the vows that we're supposed to before the Lord? And I would say this. Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

[44:00] Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

[44:15] And such were some of you. But you were washed. You were sanctified.

[44:29] You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. You may have broken this commandment.

[44:41] But it doesn't have to define you. And change is possible. Forgiveness is available. And Christ has paid the price.

[44:55] He's paid the price. Let's pray together. Father, thank you for all that you have given to us in your word. Thank you for...